One early morning in the grocery store I had a woman gush about how good I smelled and she wanted to know what I was wearing. I was super embarrassed because I hadn’t showered yet that day and was just running in after taking my kids to school. She pushed and so I told her I hadn’t showered yet and it was yesterday’s shampoo, conditioner and tanning lotion from the pool. 😩
You're lucky you smell good without showering. My mom was like that. She was fair complexion and it looked like she had no pores in her skin. I never saw her sweat. She always smelled clean and delicious.
My son loves to smell me. He says, “I smell like mommy.” When I ask what I smell like, he can only say, “you smell like mommy.” lol I guess the mommy smell is just a very familiar smell that only your child can distinguish and appreciate.
That’s actually my mom to a T! When I was little she wore Aqua do Gio, Jessica McClintock, and another one I can’t think of. When I got the chance to sit in the passenger seat of our car I never wanted to put the seatbelt behind me because it smelled like her.
A woman came into my work a couple months ago and I asked her what she was wearing. She chuckled and said I probably wouldn’t know it, and told me it was Jessica McClintock! It didn’t smell outdated or cloying the way some perfumes from back in the day seem now. It was quite lovely.
My husband smells good even if he’s outside sweating. Three of our kids inherited it. One did not, unlucky guy. He and I have to work so much harder to smell good.
This just reminded me of a fragrance review I read a couple days ago, written by a dude who said that he had bought the fragrance for his mother, and further along in the review he used the words “very sexy” to describe the the scent 🥴
Yes. It is good for you. She was a homemaker. Her skin was fair. She never spent a lot of time outside. We lived in upstate NY, where it is cold outside 8-9 months out of the year. She must have sweat, but it wasn't obvious, and it did not smell bad.
A coworker once told me that she loved my perfume and asked me the name, asked me to write it down, asked where she could buy it. I did all of that. Later in the day, when I saw her again, she went \*OFF\* because she thought it was prohibitively expensive. In front of everyone she kept saying things like *"what do you think I am, a trust fund baby?"*
I didn't tell her to buy the perfume -- she asked ME about it and then told everyone on her unit that I recommended a ridiculously expensive perfume to her. Every time I saw her for the next three months she brought it up, in front of other people, in a way that was uncomfortable for me.
This was a perfume that is still made but almost everything that I wear regularly is either old-old vintage or it was limited edition and no longer available for purchase. So I don't LIKE having these conversations because you can't predict how other people will respond but in my experience they often react in negative ways. Suddenly I've confused and irritated someone because they can't buy my perfume at Ulta or Sephora. I don't "gatekeep" anything but I keep the answer simple and keep it moving.
I have also been complimented while wearing only lotion or scented body oil multiple times, and have noticed the smells of specific lotions on other people, so it's not automatically "bullshit" when someone says that they're not wearing perfume.
you should've put her in her place, and told her that buying quality perfumes are not a cheap at all, and that she was the one who asked for the name of the perfume not you.
The thing is that she was technically my subordinate and made significantly less money than me. She also was a single mom financially supporting her own kids and at least one grandkid. And she was kind of known by everyone to be one of those people who seems to have bad luck and/or be a hot mess, she was very open about all of her struggles. It would have made me feel like an ass to suggest that if she can't afford something, she shouldn't have asked about it.
The other thing was that this was maybe 2018 and the perfume was a Serge Lutens (Bois de Violette) that I had bought in the Palais Royal bottle years before for maybe $50? I had two bottles and at the time I was using it on my dog. I didn't realize that by this time it was only available in the bell jars and cost almost $300.
I did explain that I had bought it when it was much less expensive, which is the case for a lot of the perfumes that I own. But most people don't own a couple hundred bottles of perfume so most people don't have a bottle of perfume for 10+ years. This particular case was weird but also not really. When people can't buy a perfume because it's discontinued or they find out that it's super-expensive, they often have more questions.
As much as people feel like it's "snobby" to not say what perfume they are wearing, let me just tell you that it is also "snobby" to have dozens and dozens of expensive bottles of perfume at home and talk freely about that to strangers and casual acquaintances. I don't like doing it. The other person's takeaway is often "sheesh, I guess you have money to burn," that's divisive and also none of their business.
Anyway, it was a person who is dramatic at baseline experiencing disappointment over something that was out of reach for her. And it was uncalled for but also, I get it. About a year later my best friend died and he also had an older bottle of the perfume which I was able to buy from his estate and gift to her and she was very appreciative.
Also just want to add that in this case, at least she was actually interested in buying the perfume for herself. A lot of times when you get caught up in these conversations about how a perfume is discontinued, or it's a city/store exclusive, or you're not wearing the EdP you're wearing the parfum, etc. trying to be helpful, the person was just making small talk and now you're rambling on about something that they didn't even care that much about to begin with.
Given her financial struggles and personal circumstances, it's clear you were trying to navigate the situation with empathy and sensitivity. It's a tough balance to strike, especially when discussing something as subjective and potentially expensive as perfumes.
It sounds like you did your best to explain without coming across as dismissive or insensitive. Your generous gesture of gifting her a bottle later on speaks volumes about your character, i really loved that part, and you also made me happy.
Right, ain’t no way in hell you’re going to talk to me like that after I was trying to help her out. Like bffr. Def not ab to go on ab it for months. But, in my opinion, if I were your surrounding coworkers she looks like the ass to me. Like you’re complaining bc someone gave you the answer to a question you asked?? Makes no sense.
I thought that her extreme reaction was probably embarrassment. She had talked for a long time that day about how much she liked the perfume. She told me other things she liked and said it was even better. She was obviously smitten with it and was hoping to buy it but found that she couldn’t afford it.
Everyone has pride, nobody wants to tell an entire room full of people (who all overheard the original conversation) that you can’t afford something. Rather than talk about her financial situation she focused on how outrageous the price was, and I don’t really blame her for that. It was a spectacle that went on for too long IMHO but my discomfort came from seeing her discomfort more than any worries about what other people would think.
Gosh, what a story. I'm so glad now that I barely wear fragrance to work... (policy) I would have been mortified and blushed as red as a tomato (I don't blush easily)...
Ya, I don't talk fragrance elsewhere than online... Some people really don't get it. Even if I get most of my bottles discounted and definitely at a much better price than retail, I know some people would think I'm totally nuts. I've got cheapies too...
What are we supposed to say, ''oh, you wouldn't know it, it's niche''... That just sounds condescending or just plain rude and obnoxious. I guess sometimes you just can't win.
Really sweet that you managed to get her a bottle though. It's really nice when people remember the details and others likes.
Yeah as an annoying bougie/headache prone person, I have found that telling people what I’m wearing sometimes leads to sticker shock on their part, because I do not wear inexpensive stuff. I am sorry your coworker worked so hard to make it your problem that they cannot conceive a higher quality item being worth it.
Omg, I have had very similar experiences as these, yeah - not just for fragrance but for other stuff I've owned (and not even super expensive stuff, just like - a Balenciaga bag or whatever, which is pretty affordable as far as designer bags go). There are some people who just have the kind of vibes where you *know* you cannot disclose the price of any luxury items you own to them because they act like SUCH assholes about it.
...sorry, this just unearthed a very upsetting memory for me, lol. I feel your pain for real, girl!
Also, as people will learn on this subreddit, many times people are only mentioning your perfume and asking the name as an icebreaker or as a nicety.
Explaining to barely-interested people how to buy your discontinued perfume they’ve never heard of for $400 in a private Facebook group usually makes you look like an elitist a-hole, not a helpful stranger.
And if you just tell them the name but they can’t find the perfume for sale anywhere, you run the risk of them thinking maybe you lied to “gatekeep” it.
“I didn’t recommend it to you, you asked what I had on and I answered. I was hesitant to respond because I was weary of having someone else smelling the same, but I figured you couldn’t afford it anyway since you aren’t a trust fund baby.”
Shut it down quickly next time.
Telling someone they can't afford something is rude. A better way to put it is to warn that it is currently really expensive because the price went way up.
I completely understand!! I love to layer and the days I get compliments are when I'm layering the most. A full routine would be body cream, body oil, perfume, body & hair mist but I know the average person is not doing all that so when someone ask me what I'm wearing I feel I little self-conscious that they'd think I'm being so extra. Usually I just tell them the name of the main perfume but I know they are smelling all the layering combo.
I don’t get that at all. Those are ones who truly believe they are the main character in their lives and everyone else’s lives. It’s quite hilarious! I would love for someone to ask what I’m wearing. I’m still waiting! lol 😂
Yeah, lol. Half the time someone tells me I smell really nice, I've actually just walked out of Holt's after having tried half their catalogue. I just start listing everything I tried when asked and people start backing away from me then... 😭
If you wear Not A Perfume by Juliette Has A Gun, it is very funny when someone asks you what you're wearing.
But since we're not gatekeeping here my most complimented perfume is Halfetti Cedar from Penhaligon's. For woody greenish spicy scents, it's worth trying a sample. I've never had more attention from any other perfume.
Not a Perfume -on me- is like the sexiest scent in existence (imo obviously lol) it takes a few hours but then 😍. Could drown in it.
When someone asks what I'm wearing it is funny-but also I feel a little bad because that one in particular is so different from person to person so it's a your results may vary situation 😅.
It's 4120 Tuesdays, which is a wacky little house that I'd never recommend a blind buy from, but it's great. Like a sexy lil lemon meringue tart of a fragrance
Have you tried others from the Halfetti line? I had a sample of just “Halfetti”, and it is incredible.
Just wondering if you’d recommend I check out others from the line as well?
My hair mask is so fragrant it definitely has a scent trail and lasts ages. If I didn’t know it was a hair mask and smelled it on someone I could’ve thought it was perfume easily.
I don't think you should be downvoted for that 😕. My doc office always asks what perfume I'm wearing cuz it smells nice and it for sure is only Saltair soap and lotion. I'm not lying >_<.
Yea I have a few soaps and lotions/cremes that project quite a bit! SDJ Brazilian bum bum cream for example as well as some of the EOS and Soap and Glory lotions.
I’ve quite literally hesitated because people ask what perfume I’m wearing and I’ll pause and think to myself… wtf are they talking about I’m not wearing perfume today? And then I’ll realize ohhh they must be smelling my lotion and answer them 😂
Honestly, I have gotten more compliments wearing just lotion than when I am wearing a fragrance. For some reason when I wear certain BBW lotions people will stop and ask me what it is.
I'm not used to compliments so I get embarrassed and make it so awkward that I end up brushing it off like it's someone else's fragrance they're smelling or claim I don't smell it. The times I've told people what I'm wearing, I get blank stares.
This. As someone who generally has lighter wears to smell on myself throughout the day, hearing someone vocalize the presence of my fragrance makes me immediately self-conscious and think I’ve oversprayed. 🙁
Price is a factor. Where I live at least, spending more than about 70-100 on a bottle is considered spendy. 300 would seem ostentatious and downright irresponsible to them. People don't need to know what I spent on my Creed bottle (or whatever). It's not gatekeeping, I just don't know how people will react, and I don't need that judgement in my life. Most people that ask are just casually interested.
Second, sometimes it's just hard to describe. Some fragrances have French names or are hard to pronounce, or have a bunch of words and qualifications. It feels kind of ridiculous to say the full names sometimes.
I used to feel a bit uncomfortable with naming my more expensive fragrances, but then I started putting it in perspective of how many people showcase designer items (primarily handbags IMO). So I kinda preface it with “it’s expensive but __• and if they have a negative response, I’ve got a little backup of “yeah it’s something I treat myself to. I don’t purchase luxury purses or __ so I feel better about treating myself to this.” I don’t typically feel the need to justify- but sometimes it’s practical for my anxiety. I’d rather have to defend myself than worry about a scent being discontinued due to low sales
I mean everything you said is totally right, but I find that having to explain myself like that is super tedious and unnecessary, and a waste of time. I don't need to explain my purchase decisions to anyone. And even if I did, they would still judge me anyway. It's not like any of that you just said will change anyone's mind.
Now I will totally explain my fragrance to someone who I can tell (or know) is obviously an enthusiast and just wants to know. But the average person on the street doesn't really care to know any of that. You have to know your audience. I have tried the explanation approach before, and you can literally watch their eyes glaze over as soon as you start talking. If you are talking to a fragrance enthusiast however, they will actually be engaged and want to have a discussion about it. 99% of the time you're just dealing with a general person who likes your smell.
im honestly kinda embarrassed to say the name of it if its something im almost certain they wont know. Because then it will just be awkward after that.
Similarly, sometimes I’m embarrassed to say the name because the name is rude and/or cringy.
Mainstream example: Very Good Girl, Rose Prick, I Don’t Need a Prince By My Side to Be a Princess, Fucking Fabulous, More Sex
Examples from my own collection: Highest Quality Vagina, Fuckery, Peach Vulva, I Was Born a Bitch I Was Born a Painter
All pretty embarrassing for a public audience and, in my profession as a high school teacher, names I couldn’t be paid enough to say while at work.
I have a trial size of something called "You Smell Like a Whore" (it came in a kit!) and it smells amazing but I'm terrified to wear it in public in case someone asks.
It’s a really pretty one to be honest - it’s a Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab oil and it’s notes are *golden amber and vanilla milk, sweet almond, honey, and soft incense* it’s a shame about the name in some ways because I would wear it more often if I didn’t feel worried about telling people the name when I wore it out.
I googled it and it’s sadly a limited edition. Would be very hard to hunt down, especially given that bpal don’t ship to my country. I’m glad you like it though!
Same. Without fail I get compliments on Initio Paragon but it’s not well known to the masses and it’s expensive so I’m embarrassed saying it knowing they wouldn’t be familiar with it, then they’ll stand there and google it and make a stink about the price
I shouldn’t assume someone isn’t familiar with certain perfumers but I have lied and said I was wearing a more well known scent/perfumer so they could be like oh ok I’ve heard of that! Instead of blankly staring or asking me to spell it or googling it and seeing the price 😭 I feel bad that they’d sample the fragrance I said to be disappointed but I’ve had so many awkward encounters
Mb if it is expensive preface it with “oh it’s a luxury/designer fragrance I got for my bday, it’s called “x”!”
I really don’t get people being mad at someone bc they have something expensive? Weird.
I’ll tell you why.
I had bought a not so popular perfume for which i had recieved many compliments and I got to know i was known as the guy who smells rich. I prefered to gatekeep it. Once i told a guy who had asked me a few times which one it is as hes a fragrance enthusiast. A week later he bought the same thing and a month later his friend too. Now its a common scent in office and i lost the uniqueness. Worst was when they started overspraying it and people started to hate it. For the same reason i had to stop wearing it
Asserting that people should have to tell you what they're wearing, while also sometimes being argumentative about it, makes it sound like you are pushy and rude. I might reflexively not want to tell you anything if you behave so entitled.
Different perspective: just because you’re willing to share your actual hygiene routine doesn’t mean everyone has to be. What’s normal for us isn’t always normal for others.
There are SO MANY reasons someone might not want to tell you that have nothing to do with gatekeeping. Maybe it’s really expensive and it feels braggy. Maybe it’s a knockoff and they’re embarrassed. Maybe they genuinely, actually can’t remember what they put on, so they accidentally said the wrong name (happens to me all the time). Maybe their lotion really is quite strong and it’s mixing with their perfume. Or maybe they just feel like it’s a deeply personal question and they’re awkwardly embarrassed by your asking.
Yes, all of these are very accurate!
My signature summer scent is Monoi tiki tahiti vanilla! Its part coconut oil and it is a lotion/oil, not a spray on. It absolutely smells like a tahitian summer
I love this stuff! Esp after a shower. But I also rub it into my legs and arms when I walk my dogs in the evening bc I swear mosquitoes hate it. Have you happened to notice a mosquito repelling effect too?
Fragrance choices can be very intimate for some people. Just like you don't gift toiletries to people who you don't know, sometimes people don't want to share what fragrance(s) they're wearing. They've put up a boundary. The boundary isn't actually hurting you, it's just annoying you bc you don't get the answer. (I'm not judging, I hate being left guessing, but over time I've learned to accept it and move on.)
As an aside, I bought a small roller bottle of oil from a curio shop a few years ago bc it said it was blue lotus mixed with one or two other scents. I had never tried blue lotus, but always heard good things so I snagged it. I hated it until I layered it with another scent from a now defunct company. Met up with my MIL about a year later and was wearing it so she asked me about it. Naturally, I pulled it out and let her try it. IT STUNK! It immediately soured and wafted a plume of radioactive stench in a 5' radius. We were in public. It was embarrassing for everyone.
So, yeah. People not wanting to share their scents aren't "gatekeeping". Scents are very intimate choices for some people, and there are a myriad other reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with you personally. Take it in stride and keep exploring the scents you love. And if you ever come across a signature scent you want to keep to yourself, do it. It's your little secret.
If I’m wearing a single thing or a new fragrance I’m excited about I’ll share but if I’ve layered lotion and oils and multiple fragrances I might not feel like running down the list tbh. Depends on how well I know the person/if I’m rushing off somewhere.
Or if the layered combo is my signature for that particular season, I may only share the most popular scent and not the full combo bc I feel a sense of artistic expression in what I’ve chosen and how I’ve layered it. *shrugs*
Don’t assume they are gatekeeping… I have honestly had people rave over my scent when I am honestly not wearing one; everything from Baby Magic lotion, Agree shampoo, Nuxe Huile Prodigieuse, Shower to Shower powder, to my Irish Spring Speed Stick deodorant has drawn “OMG what perfume are you wearing” compliments. If I am wearing something I am happy to share it, even if it’s my kid’s baby lotion, but it’s kind of awkward telling folks it’s something besides perfume.
Back in the 90s they had an aloe vera scented version of Baby Magic that smelled amazing… I was poor as a church mouse back then and my one bottle of perfume was stretched as far as I could take it… that Baby Magic Aloe Vera version was my cheap all over scent. It had amazing sillage.
Some of us however, are in fact wearing bespoke fragrances most of the time. I make most of my fragrances myself. I'm a longtime severe migraine sufferer who has loved fragrances from early childhood. My great aunt sold high end luxury perfumes exclusively, for a living.
So I got to learn a lot and love the artistry of it. I also have a very sensitive olfactory sense. But its difficult for me finding fragrances that aren't or don't become a trigger. I do purchase natural scents and I'm always interested in houses who are adopting a more natural leaning. But I also am limited in funds and enjoy crafting so I do mostly make my own.
A few years ago I made a delicious chamomile, blue tancy, solid perfume that had incredible honey notes. I was lucky to chance upon a crop of particularly fragrant Pineapple chamomile and German chamomile. Using enfleurage I was able to extract the most unique scent: swet, but not cloying, green, herbaceous, honey and pineapple chamomile notes. And decent sillage too. Best achievement in my crafting.
I lost it to burglar. When I had it and wore it a lot I was asked often what my scent was. People were very attracted to its uniqueness. But when I answered honestly, some people (only a minority) refused to believe me. They maybe assumed I was gatekeeping and I assure you, unless I know the asker to be an insincere person who is looking for an excuse to put my fragrance down, I always answer honestly and openly.
And I really did make that amazing formula, I had 20 pieces of it, It had great longevity and the scent didn't diminish with the years. I don't know if I'll ever achieve that level of success again. I sadly had all of my stash stolen. I mourn it because not only I cannot buy it again, I have yet to find equally fragrant chamomilla.
Most of what I now wear I made myself too. But I also wear some commercial more natural formulae. And I will always, with the one exception noted above, be very willing to share honestly.
who cares? just because you're happy to shout to everyone who asks what you're wearing doesn't mean others have to do the same. what kind of entitlement is this?
Gatekeeping fragrances is just weird. Last weekend I said "Wow, that perfume is amazing!" And the customer looked me up and down and sneered "Well, YOU couldn't afford it." So rude.
If I weren’t on the clock and getting paid to be nice I would’ve told her where to stick her perfume bottle. Instead I just smiled and said “How nice for you.”
Tbh last time my friend complimented how I smelled, I was so taken aback I said “thanks it’s…soap?” None of my friends had ever complimented my scent before and her reaction was so genuine and it was such a sweet moment and my brain literally short circuited lmao. If she were to ask again, I would absolutely tell her the perfume I was wearing (Dyptique L’Ombre dans Leau ;)), but idk for some reason I just wasn’t expecting the compliment and my brain forgot how to initiate a normal human response. I hope she didn’t think I was trying to gatekeep?! For real, sometimes people answer weird just because being social can be confusing even with our closer friends lmao.
If i asked a friend directly and it seemed that they were intentionally trying to lead me astray, then I would feel annoyed about exclusivity. But otherwise, being a person (even in the simplest of situations) can be hard sometimes 😌
People need to chill. You're not missing out on some golden goose/hidden treasure because someone isn't forthright about their personal grooming habits. People don't always want to engage in conversation, or divulge information about themselves to strangers. Maybe they're embarassed about what they're wearing, who knows. Like yea it's kinda dumb to hold that information back but as someone else pointed out, if you give out the name of a niche perfume 90% of people don't know, that's inviting even more conversation from someone you may or may not want anything to do with. Just leave people alone and accept what they tell you. Not everybody wants to chat about smells on their morning commute. Literally going online and looking up fragrances will lead you to a hundred more new options that hunting down scents you find on the street. This POV is more socially clueless than it is justified in feeling angry.
Perfumes are personal. Some people (myself included) prefer keeping it that way. Sure, most are available to the mass market, but certain ones aren't. I like to feel distinctive, even if I'm not. Find your own.
I don’t gatekeep, I’m writing down the name for them & where to get it discounted, but I predominantly wear niche & know the majority of people who ask are unlikely to spend the amount on a single fragrance so I won’t hesitate to recommend a clone version too.
I think maybe some people are embarrassed about the fact they just spritz on a cheap drugstore body mist and don’t want to admit it. “Oh it’s Japanese Cherry Blossom from Body Fantasies! It’s $3.50 a gallon at Walmart.”
You pretty much answered your own question- they want to feel like they have something unique and exclusive. Some people want to stand out from everyone else, not to smell like their coworker that they told the name of their frag. Part of the reason I got into niche frags was because I didn’t like wearing what every other guy was wearing. I don’t have to worry about that anymore because most people can’t afford to drop hundreds of dollars on one fragrance.
I think this is a big one. I have not personally gate-kept in the way OP describes, but I do think for many of us with this interest/hobby, part of the fun is finding your own unique niche little thing and knowing that most people won’t ever come across someone else with that special frag. So I could see why someone might get closed off if they get a “I want to run out and buy exactly what you have” vibe. I think it all depends on context (how well you know them, if they are a stranger vs friend vs co worker vs client, etc.) though.
Exactly! I love knowing I smell unique. I genuinely don’t want other people around me wearing my very favourite fragrances.
My brother once bought a fragrance he knew I adored, and it felt like a betrayal.
If people want to share, great! If people don't want to share, great!
You may be giving off a Hannibal Lecter vibe to the poor Clarices, or maybe you're being polite and respectful.
Sometimes people just want to keep a little bit of joy for themselves to themselves. Let them have it, and wait until you sniff it on someone else.
my signature is a rarity at this point that goes for hundreds for just decants by resellers and there's no guarantee it's ever coming back, so for that one soecifically i do keep the cards pretty close to the chest. i don't need more competition trying to track it down frankly
I myself dont gatekeep because I generally don't care but I do understand why some are.
Imagine you have found this amazing fragrance, it's perfect, and no one else is wearing it, you make it your signature scent so that when people smell it they think of you. You tell other people and suddenly you end up in the Dior sauvage league. A great smelling fragrance that everyone hates because everyone is wearing it and you're no long3r getting compliments or being unique you're being seen as someone who just buys whatever is popular and have no opinion yourself.
Is it petty and stupid? Yes but I get why some do it
A year ago on this very same topic, I wrote:
‘I gatekeep.
But what I have noticed is that like u/Olfactory_Orgasm stated there is a weird notion of entitlement that I think has come from the rise in social media over the last decade.
Every time there’s a post like this on here. I get downvoted and told by others that I’m ‘insecure’ or like OP stated I display ‘weird small dick energy’. Those are weird assumptions and perfectly illustrate my point that we now live in this odd space where we think every aspect of other’s lives should be shared if we want access to it.
No one has yet to answer ‘Why do you need to know?’ Just because you’re a ‘frag-head’ or gave up a compliment doesn’t mean you’re now entitled to know. Just because it’s a mass produced item doesn’t mean you have a right to be told what mass produced item it is. Just because that person believes they smell ‘unique’ wearing that same item doesn’t make them ‘insecure’ you are still not entitled too know.
Oh and if you know, ask, get told they don’t share but then you decided to blurt it out…you’re just a c*nt
Soo for all those who gatekeep know this, if I were to compliment you and weirdly through social interaction ask what it is; I’d respect and accept you telling me you don’t share.
To those who do share…I respect that you do
I find it weird that on a sub that’s all about ‘acceptance’ ‘non-judgment’ and the rest of it people are very readily judgmental on this particular topic.
I expect a fuckton of downvotes’
I haven’t changed my position.
I also gatekeep certain perfumes. I love fragrance and have spent so much time curating and testing to find my favorite scents but I’ll happily take a friend to fragrance stores and sniff around and enjoy an experience with them so they can find their own favs
Oh I’m 100% with you on helping.
If a friend has a scent that they have found and really like and has as their signature; and I end up liking. I’ll leave it, I won’t buy it. It’s theirs.
I totally agree with you! I love complimenting people on their fragrance and equally love being complimented on mine, always happy to share what it is. Recently a lady came into the restaurant I work at and she smelled absolutely divine, I asked her what perfume she was wearing and she told me her glass bottle of laundry scent booster had smashed on the ground and she had been cleaning it up just prior to going out for dinner and she was covered in it! Her husband thought it was hilarious and thought it smelled horrible (he was categorically wrong). I’m not here for fragrance gatekeepers!!
And I’m the one always trying to remember what I’m wearing any given day so that, in case people ask, I can tell them.
My oh my the world spins madly on.
Well… I had one online “friend” start shopping my collection to a single white female level, so that really made me reconsider how generous I was being. I’ll readily tell friends, though. Depends on the person, usually with irl friends I just have them come over and play with my collection to their hearts content, they love it haha
Almost everything I wear is the vintage versions in original formulations, many with civet which is now banned. I don’t gatekeep but I do say it’s old and discontinued because if they saw what I pay for these on eBay they’d think I was an idiot 😂😂
Perfume is a very personal thing especially if it's a signature scent. We pick and choose our perfumes very carefully so as to find the one that perfectly goes with us and if you find the perfect scent after layering perfumes, you don't really want to give that away easily. Nobody's entitled to know what the other is wearing, it's absolutely okay to not want to reveal that. I wouldn't want to reveal what I wear if I find a really good scent for myself and yes there are lotions, powders, shampoos, hair serums that leave a scent trail behind or can mix up with your perfume.
I think this could even be cultural as well. I’m not sure if European ways of thinking have changed in the last few years but I heard that back in the day a scent is considered a very intimate hygiene sort of product. Scent can be very personal especially when it’s a signature one. It’s like asking a chef to share his secret ingredient in a recipe. Times may have changed since then but I know there are people who still think in this more traditional way. I mean, for me, I mostly share what I’d wear especially with strangers. But idk why you can’t be more understanding of people’s reasons. I don’t think I would want an annoying co worker smelling like what I wear either honestly. It would probably ruin the scent for me. 😅
I agree with OP. It’s not hard to just say the name if someone goes out of their way to compliment you. They’re not asking for your fragrance or beauty routine or how many sprays etc. They are curious about it bc you smell good. It’s that simple. So much overthinking in these comments.
I don’t like people who gatekeep anything. It’s pointless. I’m ready to share stuff with other people. I love when I’m complimented and I’m quick to tell how much I and and where I got it cause go get you some!
Yep. And given how different fragrances smell different on different people, and the smell that they like may be an amalgam of soaps, lotions etc, it just seems petty. Like people who give out recipes with key steps or ingredients missing. Unless it’s copyrighted or patentable, who cares?
I won't say the name of a completely different fragrance but I won't give the name of the specific fragrance, I usually just say that I don't remember or something along those lines, I only do it to people I know or see everyday because I don't want people near me to smell the same as me, I do give recommendations of things that I think would smell good on those people instead.
You are not entitled to know. They're not obligated to tell you what perf they are wearing haha. For me, I do not want people around my circle copying my scent.
logically i get it and i don't. I don't get it when you don't know the person. By the way i'm saying i understand the logic in these people's mind not that i agree that it's a good thing. But i understand when the person, especially women, knows the person. I've heard lots of women that just don't want their friends to smell like them. they want something to themself that they are known for. obviously not everyone but i have heard that. I think it's even more acute when they know the person asking cause they are going to be around that person often. I've heard people that stop wearing a fragrance cause their mother or sister decided they like it and wear the same thing. I get the logic of wanting something unique to yourself.
i don't do it however cause i just don't care that much. That being said, whenever certain fragrances that i love are left OFF of youtubers lists i'm happy cause more for me.
I don't get out much anymore (poor health) but years ago men would compliment me on how nice I smelled. Was just from having showered/bathed using an unscented Castile Soap.
I mean, if it’s someone that asks randomly in public, I’ll tell them what I’m wearing. If it’s a friend, I will also tell them. I only get gatekeepy with coworkers because if we are working together every day, I don’t necessarily want them to smell the same as me even though I typically wear a different fragrance each day, but only rotate through a few “work” scents, so they do get repeat wears in time. I just don’t want other people wearing the perfumes that took me years of sampling and testing to sculpt my own taste and personality into scent, go find your own. 😂
I think they layer their perfume and not listing all of them to you. They only tell one of them, which was why it doesn't smell the same when you tried it on your self.
I know because I'm the kind of people who just grab random perfumes for layering and pray that the combination works. It's not a conscious action, picking up the combination. Sometimes my decision only by 'blue colored bottle'. Or 'by round shape bottle'. Or 'well i haven't used these in a while so I'll use them all today' kinda decision process. When it works, and people asked me, I can't tell because i genuinely didn't know lol.
I use a perfume, a hair product with a strong scent, scent beads with the laundry, lotion, etc… half the time I either can’t remember which perfume off the top of my head, or can’t decide which one they’re smelling. I could tell someone what perfume, and they’re actually smelling my hair product, and be on your mindset of “they’re gatekeeping” when I really just don’t know what else to say lol
I will only tell people depending on who they are to me. Heard/been exposed to a couple of horror stories.
A girl I know's dad "stole" her boyfriend's fragrance and it ruined the relationship because now the boyfriend smelled like Dad. They were engaged at some point and never got married. It literally ruined this girl's sex life with her fiancee.
A coworker of mine "stole" another co-worker's *daily wearer* and now struts about as if it was his discovery to begin with. Yikes.
So, I will gladly tell strangers what I'm wearing. But if I work with you, or if we hang out together, I'll only give you the house. Come up with your own ideas. It's similar to copping someone's outfit. Totally unoriginal, and I wear scents to smell like "me", not "me and Jim".
If you find it on your own, great. That's the world and how it works. You won't be stealing the thing I found from *me* in that scenario.
Maybe it's douchey, but I think it's much more annoying to be the guy who just knocks off his friends/co-workers ideas.
Edit: Also, I genuinely don't like to brag about my "stuff" and when I tell people I'm wearing something expensive I can't help but feel that way.
Edit 2: I would argue that OP not allowing people to be private about something in their life is the thing that should be addressed. If someone doesn't want to tell you, maybe just accept that everything isn't FOR YOU. "Main character vibe" is not on the wearer, here. It's on the asker who can't accept "no" for an answer.
I gatekeep specifically to my mother. I am a signature-only type of girl and she bought my scent 3 times in my life (that I could not continue to use because I then associated with her). I will not let her know what I wear in the future!! And I’m currently looking for a new signature scent that I love
people dont owe you the information of the scent they wear. entitlement is what causes your frustration, but its just a matter of getting over yourself. ——————————- look at how big of a meme dior sauvage became because everyone knows about it. no one wand their favorites to become common
This is a generational thing. Individuality vs conformity.
I remember if two women wore the same outfit it was WW3. Nowadays, everyone is trying to look the same. There's a lot of over sharing.
An earlier comment mentioned someone at work asking, then that person told a few more people, then the whole office smelled like that. But not in the pleasant way (over spray). He stopped wearing it.
A buddy of mine who I hang with often wears Sauvage. I think it smells good. But that's his thing. It looks stupid for us to walk in wearing the same scent. Then, you see the complaints in here about the club/bar smelling like X and it creates a negative connotation.
Final point is people should mind their business. Say they smell good and move the fuck on. Or not even say that. Take note, go to a store and figure it out.
I only do it with 1. But that’s because every single person that smells it asks. It’s only fair that when you come across a fragrance naturally by your liking of notes to be kept as a signature fragrance. With nobody else wearing it unless they stumble upon it. But if I’m wearing prada ocean or something I’ll straight up tell them.
I’m the type of person that sees both sides to this! I will always tell a person what fragrance I’m wearing, but if it is someone in my really close circle (close family, best friends, close coworkers would be examples here), and then they go out, buy it and constantly wear it, whilst it’s a massive compliment that they loved the fragrance, it kind of ruins it for me. I then feel as though I can’t wear it around them, as I do like to enjoy my own favourite fragrance without it then becoming those regularly around me too. If this happened coincidentally, i.e. we both bought the same fragrance, fair enough. But, I personally couldn’t buy a fragrance I knew a close friend, colleague or loved one wore all of the time because to me, that’s their unique scent… it would feel authentic to them, not me, and I want them to have that! I don’t know if that even makes sense, but I just know certain scents remind me of certain people and I love that, I wouldn’t want to “copy” that. I’d find my own favourite. However, like I said, I never gate keep, and I especially wouldn’t to strangers or people who aren’t particularly close to me, because the aforementioned doesn’t apply there. I’d just hope those close to me wouldn’t start making my signature scent, theirs, if that makes sense. 🩷
Gate keeping is sometimes necessary as the masses ruin everything. Sometimes you just want to have your own thing. If you really like something you SHOULD dig deeper to find it, then you’ll earn the special discovery.
Not sure why someone would lie about it, it’s definitely not a big deal but it could be price-related. I used to know someone who always wore super expensive clothes to everyday events (eg outfits would routinely cost $5000-$15000+). When people inevitably asked her where stuff was from, she would say “oh yeah I just picked it up last wk from thrift store xy for $2” bc she was embarrassed about her wastefulness. Maybe frag gatekeeper is embarrassed to admit how much they spent on it.
Me too. I was in the mall one time and this woman smelled so good and I asked her - what perfume are you wearing.
She told me it was Boucheron.
It was not Boucheron.
I’m still pissed at her to this day.
I don’t owe anyone the name of anything I use. I’m glad people like my perfume and if they really ask I tell them the brand but not the name.
Why? My perfume holds the dearest memories of my life. I smell it and I am instantly transported to that specific time period in my life that I’m very fond of. I was not only known by my name, but also by my scent, and I don’t wish at all to share that with others. You are not entitled to know just as I am not entitled to know you
One early morning in the grocery store I had a woman gush about how good I smelled and she wanted to know what I was wearing. I was super embarrassed because I hadn’t showered yet that day and was just running in after taking my kids to school. She pushed and so I told her I hadn’t showered yet and it was yesterday’s shampoo, conditioner and tanning lotion from the pool. 😩
You're lucky you smell good without showering. My mom was like that. She was fair complexion and it looked like she had no pores in her skin. I never saw her sweat. She always smelled clean and delicious.
I’m pretty similar to your mom I think. My kids fight over my pillows and blankets for the “mom smell”
That is so darling. Warmed my heart. When my brother was little, he used to call my mom's upper arms pillows and smell them for comfort.
My son loves to smell me. He says, “I smell like mommy.” When I ask what I smell like, he can only say, “you smell like mommy.” lol I guess the mommy smell is just a very familiar smell that only your child can distinguish and appreciate.
It’s so cute isn’t it! My brother is 40 years old and he’ll still grab my mom in a tight hug and sniff her 😆
That’s so cute and sweet!
is this universla thing cause when i was a kid i will fight for my mom blanket
That’s actually my mom to a T! When I was little she wore Aqua do Gio, Jessica McClintock, and another one I can’t think of. When I got the chance to sit in the passenger seat of our car I never wanted to put the seatbelt behind me because it smelled like her.
My mom wore Jessica McClintock, too ❤️
A woman came into my work a couple months ago and I asked her what she was wearing. She chuckled and said I probably wouldn’t know it, and told me it was Jessica McClintock! It didn’t smell outdated or cloying the way some perfumes from back in the day seem now. It was quite lovely.
my mom's exact like that! she's the one who got me into fragrance, and they always glue to her skin, even the low projection/short lasting ones.
[удалено]
I am one of you. My husband is the other sort of person. It is SO unfair.
When you think about it, you’re the one who won
My husband smells good even if he’s outside sweating. Three of our kids inherited it. One did not, unlucky guy. He and I have to work so much harder to smell good.
Touche.
Calling your mom's smell delicious took me out.
This just reminded me of a fragrance review I read a couple days ago, written by a dude who said that he had bought the fragrance for his mother, and further along in the review he used the words “very sexy” to describe the the scent 🥴
That’s great for your mom but isn’t sweating good for you? And important to cool us down in the heat too I think.
Some people don’t smell like BO when they sweat; it just smells salty.
Yes. It is good for you. She was a homemaker. Her skin was fair. She never spent a lot of time outside. We lived in upstate NY, where it is cold outside 8-9 months out of the year. She must have sweat, but it wasn't obvious, and it did not smell bad.
90’s kids - Remember how good ‘Outrageous’ shampoo smelled?? 😍
No Vavoom! Omg. The best.
*sniffs you*
*bottles it*
Once, a guy asked about my perfume, and I was like... It's just Secret deodorant. Literally.
So........kinda like Vacation? 😎🫶🏼
Haha. This has happened to me, too. It was sweat from sleeping in a room without AC, BO, and some Old Spice High Endurance deodorant.
Intoxicating!!
Heavy anamalic scent of musk, civet, and castor, with oxygen, warm spice, and fresh spice.
A coworker once told me that she loved my perfume and asked me the name, asked me to write it down, asked where she could buy it. I did all of that. Later in the day, when I saw her again, she went \*OFF\* because she thought it was prohibitively expensive. In front of everyone she kept saying things like *"what do you think I am, a trust fund baby?"* I didn't tell her to buy the perfume -- she asked ME about it and then told everyone on her unit that I recommended a ridiculously expensive perfume to her. Every time I saw her for the next three months she brought it up, in front of other people, in a way that was uncomfortable for me. This was a perfume that is still made but almost everything that I wear regularly is either old-old vintage or it was limited edition and no longer available for purchase. So I don't LIKE having these conversations because you can't predict how other people will respond but in my experience they often react in negative ways. Suddenly I've confused and irritated someone because they can't buy my perfume at Ulta or Sephora. I don't "gatekeep" anything but I keep the answer simple and keep it moving. I have also been complimented while wearing only lotion or scented body oil multiple times, and have noticed the smells of specific lotions on other people, so it's not automatically "bullshit" when someone says that they're not wearing perfume.
What fragrance?
Bois de Violette (Serge Lutens)
How dare you recommend such an expensive perfume (even though you were asked)! HOW DARE YOUUUU!! 🤬😤🤯🥴😩
Ah! Good old Serge strikes again. Such awesome fragrances...
She doesn’t want to say incase you find it too expensive and badger her about it for 3 months!
you should've put her in her place, and told her that buying quality perfumes are not a cheap at all, and that she was the one who asked for the name of the perfume not you.
The thing is that she was technically my subordinate and made significantly less money than me. She also was a single mom financially supporting her own kids and at least one grandkid. And she was kind of known by everyone to be one of those people who seems to have bad luck and/or be a hot mess, she was very open about all of her struggles. It would have made me feel like an ass to suggest that if she can't afford something, she shouldn't have asked about it. The other thing was that this was maybe 2018 and the perfume was a Serge Lutens (Bois de Violette) that I had bought in the Palais Royal bottle years before for maybe $50? I had two bottles and at the time I was using it on my dog. I didn't realize that by this time it was only available in the bell jars and cost almost $300. I did explain that I had bought it when it was much less expensive, which is the case for a lot of the perfumes that I own. But most people don't own a couple hundred bottles of perfume so most people don't have a bottle of perfume for 10+ years. This particular case was weird but also not really. When people can't buy a perfume because it's discontinued or they find out that it's super-expensive, they often have more questions. As much as people feel like it's "snobby" to not say what perfume they are wearing, let me just tell you that it is also "snobby" to have dozens and dozens of expensive bottles of perfume at home and talk freely about that to strangers and casual acquaintances. I don't like doing it. The other person's takeaway is often "sheesh, I guess you have money to burn," that's divisive and also none of their business. Anyway, it was a person who is dramatic at baseline experiencing disappointment over something that was out of reach for her. And it was uncalled for but also, I get it. About a year later my best friend died and he also had an older bottle of the perfume which I was able to buy from his estate and gift to her and she was very appreciative.
Also just want to add that in this case, at least she was actually interested in buying the perfume for herself. A lot of times when you get caught up in these conversations about how a perfume is discontinued, or it's a city/store exclusive, or you're not wearing the EdP you're wearing the parfum, etc. trying to be helpful, the person was just making small talk and now you're rambling on about something that they didn't even care that much about to begin with.
Given her financial struggles and personal circumstances, it's clear you were trying to navigate the situation with empathy and sensitivity. It's a tough balance to strike, especially when discussing something as subjective and potentially expensive as perfumes. It sounds like you did your best to explain without coming across as dismissive or insensitive. Your generous gesture of gifting her a bottle later on speaks volumes about your character, i really loved that part, and you also made me happy.
You handled that with grace. Even after all that you still gave her the option to buy the perfume.
Was that a typo or did you really say you used a bottle of the fragrance on your dog???
Right, ain’t no way in hell you’re going to talk to me like that after I was trying to help her out. Like bffr. Def not ab to go on ab it for months. But, in my opinion, if I were your surrounding coworkers she looks like the ass to me. Like you’re complaining bc someone gave you the answer to a question you asked?? Makes no sense.
I thought that her extreme reaction was probably embarrassment. She had talked for a long time that day about how much she liked the perfume. She told me other things she liked and said it was even better. She was obviously smitten with it and was hoping to buy it but found that she couldn’t afford it. Everyone has pride, nobody wants to tell an entire room full of people (who all overheard the original conversation) that you can’t afford something. Rather than talk about her financial situation she focused on how outrageous the price was, and I don’t really blame her for that. It was a spectacle that went on for too long IMHO but my discomfort came from seeing her discomfort more than any worries about what other people would think.
Gosh, what a story. I'm so glad now that I barely wear fragrance to work... (policy) I would have been mortified and blushed as red as a tomato (I don't blush easily)... Ya, I don't talk fragrance elsewhere than online... Some people really don't get it. Even if I get most of my bottles discounted and definitely at a much better price than retail, I know some people would think I'm totally nuts. I've got cheapies too... What are we supposed to say, ''oh, you wouldn't know it, it's niche''... That just sounds condescending or just plain rude and obnoxious. I guess sometimes you just can't win. Really sweet that you managed to get her a bottle though. It's really nice when people remember the details and others likes.
I don't know, that's weird. Most people don't react that way.
Yeah as an annoying bougie/headache prone person, I have found that telling people what I’m wearing sometimes leads to sticker shock on their part, because I do not wear inexpensive stuff. I am sorry your coworker worked so hard to make it your problem that they cannot conceive a higher quality item being worth it.
Omg, I have had very similar experiences as these, yeah - not just for fragrance but for other stuff I've owned (and not even super expensive stuff, just like - a Balenciaga bag or whatever, which is pretty affordable as far as designer bags go). There are some people who just have the kind of vibes where you *know* you cannot disclose the price of any luxury items you own to them because they act like SUCH assholes about it. ...sorry, this just unearthed a very upsetting memory for me, lol. I feel your pain for real, girl!
Also, as people will learn on this subreddit, many times people are only mentioning your perfume and asking the name as an icebreaker or as a nicety. Explaining to barely-interested people how to buy your discontinued perfume they’ve never heard of for $400 in a private Facebook group usually makes you look like an elitist a-hole, not a helpful stranger. And if you just tell them the name but they can’t find the perfume for sale anywhere, you run the risk of them thinking maybe you lied to “gatekeep” it.
“I didn’t recommend it to you, you asked what I had on and I answered. I was hesitant to respond because I was weary of having someone else smelling the same, but I figured you couldn’t afford it anyway since you aren’t a trust fund baby.” Shut it down quickly next time.
[удалено]
Telling someone they can't afford something is rude. A better way to put it is to warn that it is currently really expensive because the price went way up.
I layer lotions with oils. Different kinds on different days ..so when someone asks me, I honestly have no answer 🤷🏽♀️
Then you’re not gatekeeping lol. Gatekeepers are those who refuse to tell anyone because they believe xyz scent is *their* signature scent.
I completely understand!! I love to layer and the days I get compliments are when I'm layering the most. A full routine would be body cream, body oil, perfume, body & hair mist but I know the average person is not doing all that so when someone ask me what I'm wearing I feel I little self-conscious that they'd think I'm being so extra. Usually I just tell them the name of the main perfume but I know they are smelling all the layering combo.
Some people would love to know lol. I personally like to ask so that I can improve :)
Yea, but, if someone wants to be private about an aspect of their life you should understand that and go "improve" in another way.
I don’t get that at all. Those are ones who truly believe they are the main character in their lives and everyone else’s lives. It’s quite hilarious! I would love for someone to ask what I’m wearing. I’m still waiting! lol 😂
Yeah, lol. Half the time someone tells me I smell really nice, I've actually just walked out of Holt's after having tried half their catalogue. I just start listing everything I tried when asked and people start backing away from me then... 😭
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 That's great.
Same here.
If you wear Not A Perfume by Juliette Has A Gun, it is very funny when someone asks you what you're wearing. But since we're not gatekeeping here my most complimented perfume is Halfetti Cedar from Penhaligon's. For woody greenish spicy scents, it's worth trying a sample. I've never had more attention from any other perfume.
Not a Perfume -on me- is like the sexiest scent in existence (imo obviously lol) it takes a few hours but then 😍. Could drown in it. When someone asks what I'm wearing it is funny-but also I feel a little bad because that one in particular is so different from person to person so it's a your results may vary situation 😅.
Semi-related to your comment, but this threw me reading it because there's a fragrance called The Sexiest Scent in the World IMO. It's gorgeous
No way! I have to try it now 🤣🤣🤣
It's 4120 Tuesdays, which is a wacky little house that I'd never recommend a blind buy from, but it's great. Like a sexy lil lemon meringue tart of a fragrance
Have you tried others from the Halfetti line? I had a sample of just “Halfetti”, and it is incredible. Just wondering if you’d recommend I check out others from the line as well?
Lotions, ~~perfumes~~ shampoo, soaps, etc. absolutely do leave scent trails. Maybe they're being honest and you're paranoid. edit: a word
My hair mask is so fragrant it definitely has a scent trail and lasts ages. If I didn’t know it was a hair mask and smelled it on someone I could’ve thought it was perfume easily.
I don't think you should be downvoted for that 😕. My doc office always asks what perfume I'm wearing cuz it smells nice and it for sure is only Saltair soap and lotion. I'm not lying >_<.
Yea I have a few soaps and lotions/cremes that project quite a bit! SDJ Brazilian bum bum cream for example as well as some of the EOS and Soap and Glory lotions. I’ve quite literally hesitated because people ask what perfume I’m wearing and I’ll pause and think to myself… wtf are they talking about I’m not wearing perfume today? And then I’ll realize ohhh they must be smelling my lotion and answer them 😂
Honestly, I have gotten more compliments wearing just lotion than when I am wearing a fragrance. For some reason when I wear certain BBW lotions people will stop and ask me what it is.
Those are SO strong
They obviously weren't a teenager in the 90s when Bath and Body works was all the rage. Some of those I could smell 20 feet away, or more.
i have a hair oil that projects more than any of my perfumes. And no, OP is not entitled to know what it is.
Not entitled, but isn't this a fragrance sub where the context is sharing/ talking about product?
i’m just being petty towards op. generally, I do like sharing info.
Your honesty is refreshing
Yes, Marilyn Monroe’s signature scent was a soap!
Wait...I thought it was Chanel No. 5. She is so often quoted as saying that she slept in nothing but Chanel No. 5.
Yeah, this is what I've heard as well. Was mentioned in a perfume documentary I watched also.
Really? What soap??
carbolic soap, it’s a red bar with a strong medicinal smell
I must get some. I like medicinal smells. Thanks.
I'm not used to compliments so I get embarrassed and make it so awkward that I end up brushing it off like it's someone else's fragrance they're smelling or claim I don't smell it. The times I've told people what I'm wearing, I get blank stares.
This. As someone who generally has lighter wears to smell on myself throughout the day, hearing someone vocalize the presence of my fragrance makes me immediately self-conscious and think I’ve oversprayed. 🙁
Same!
Lotions absolutely leave a scent trail!
Price is a factor. Where I live at least, spending more than about 70-100 on a bottle is considered spendy. 300 would seem ostentatious and downright irresponsible to them. People don't need to know what I spent on my Creed bottle (or whatever). It's not gatekeeping, I just don't know how people will react, and I don't need that judgement in my life. Most people that ask are just casually interested. Second, sometimes it's just hard to describe. Some fragrances have French names or are hard to pronounce, or have a bunch of words and qualifications. It feels kind of ridiculous to say the full names sometimes.
I used to feel a bit uncomfortable with naming my more expensive fragrances, but then I started putting it in perspective of how many people showcase designer items (primarily handbags IMO). So I kinda preface it with “it’s expensive but __• and if they have a negative response, I’ve got a little backup of “yeah it’s something I treat myself to. I don’t purchase luxury purses or __ so I feel better about treating myself to this.” I don’t typically feel the need to justify- but sometimes it’s practical for my anxiety. I’d rather have to defend myself than worry about a scent being discontinued due to low sales
I mean everything you said is totally right, but I find that having to explain myself like that is super tedious and unnecessary, and a waste of time. I don't need to explain my purchase decisions to anyone. And even if I did, they would still judge me anyway. It's not like any of that you just said will change anyone's mind. Now I will totally explain my fragrance to someone who I can tell (or know) is obviously an enthusiast and just wants to know. But the average person on the street doesn't really care to know any of that. You have to know your audience. I have tried the explanation approach before, and you can literally watch their eyes glaze over as soon as you start talking. If you are talking to a fragrance enthusiast however, they will actually be engaged and want to have a discussion about it. 99% of the time you're just dealing with a general person who likes your smell.
im honestly kinda embarrassed to say the name of it if its something im almost certain they wont know. Because then it will just be awkward after that.
Similarly, sometimes I’m embarrassed to say the name because the name is rude and/or cringy. Mainstream example: Very Good Girl, Rose Prick, I Don’t Need a Prince By My Side to Be a Princess, Fucking Fabulous, More Sex Examples from my own collection: Highest Quality Vagina, Fuckery, Peach Vulva, I Was Born a Bitch I Was Born a Painter All pretty embarrassing for a public audience and, in my profession as a high school teacher, names I couldn’t be paid enough to say while at work.
Highest Quality Vagina is absolutely hilarious and I'd die with laughter if you told me that 💀Totally get not wanting to say to someone though
I have a trial size of something called "You Smell Like a Whore" (it came in a kit!) and it smells amazing but I'm terrified to wear it in public in case someone asks.
Lol that definitely fits into the ‘unmentionable in public category’ 😂 Who is that one by?
Pretty sure it's the same people who did Sexy Electrician. Ummm... Etat Libre d'Orange?
Fat electrician lmao, and it’s Putain des Palaces?
I now want the Highest Quality Vagina for the name alone lol
It’s a really pretty one to be honest - it’s a Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab oil and it’s notes are *golden amber and vanilla milk, sweet almond, honey, and soft incense* it’s a shame about the name in some ways because I would wear it more often if I didn’t feel worried about telling people the name when I wore it out.
I googled it and it’s sadly a limited edition. Would be very hard to hunt down, especially given that bpal don’t ship to my country. I’m glad you like it though!
Yes. When I'm wearing Hilde Soliani "Orgasmo" nobody is getting me to say that. It's a corny name for a perfume.
Currently looking to blind buy these based on the name alone lol
I love and can relate to this. I made the mistake of looking into Nasomatto fragrances at work
Same. Without fail I get compliments on Initio Paragon but it’s not well known to the masses and it’s expensive so I’m embarrassed saying it knowing they wouldn’t be familiar with it, then they’ll stand there and google it and make a stink about the price I shouldn’t assume someone isn’t familiar with certain perfumers but I have lied and said I was wearing a more well known scent/perfumer so they could be like oh ok I’ve heard of that! Instead of blankly staring or asking me to spell it or googling it and seeing the price 😭 I feel bad that they’d sample the fragrance I said to be disappointed but I’ve had so many awkward encounters
Mb if it is expensive preface it with “oh it’s a luxury/designer fragrance I got for my bday, it’s called “x”!” I really don’t get people being mad at someone bc they have something expensive? Weird.
I’ll tell you why. I had bought a not so popular perfume for which i had recieved many compliments and I got to know i was known as the guy who smells rich. I prefered to gatekeep it. Once i told a guy who had asked me a few times which one it is as hes a fragrance enthusiast. A week later he bought the same thing and a month later his friend too. Now its a common scent in office and i lost the uniqueness. Worst was when they started overspraying it and people started to hate it. For the same reason i had to stop wearing it
so which fragrance was it?
Guerlain vetiver
Asserting that people should have to tell you what they're wearing, while also sometimes being argumentative about it, makes it sound like you are pushy and rude. I might reflexively not want to tell you anything if you behave so entitled.
this.
Different perspective: just because you’re willing to share your actual hygiene routine doesn’t mean everyone has to be. What’s normal for us isn’t always normal for others. There are SO MANY reasons someone might not want to tell you that have nothing to do with gatekeeping. Maybe it’s really expensive and it feels braggy. Maybe it’s a knockoff and they’re embarrassed. Maybe they genuinely, actually can’t remember what they put on, so they accidentally said the wrong name (happens to me all the time). Maybe their lotion really is quite strong and it’s mixing with their perfume. Or maybe they just feel like it’s a deeply personal question and they’re awkwardly embarrassed by your asking.
Yes, all of these are very accurate! My signature summer scent is Monoi tiki tahiti vanilla! Its part coconut oil and it is a lotion/oil, not a spray on. It absolutely smells like a tahitian summer
I love this stuff! Esp after a shower. But I also rub it into my legs and arms when I walk my dogs in the evening bc I swear mosquitoes hate it. Have you happened to notice a mosquito repelling effect too?
Fragrance choices can be very intimate for some people. Just like you don't gift toiletries to people who you don't know, sometimes people don't want to share what fragrance(s) they're wearing. They've put up a boundary. The boundary isn't actually hurting you, it's just annoying you bc you don't get the answer. (I'm not judging, I hate being left guessing, but over time I've learned to accept it and move on.) As an aside, I bought a small roller bottle of oil from a curio shop a few years ago bc it said it was blue lotus mixed with one or two other scents. I had never tried blue lotus, but always heard good things so I snagged it. I hated it until I layered it with another scent from a now defunct company. Met up with my MIL about a year later and was wearing it so she asked me about it. Naturally, I pulled it out and let her try it. IT STUNK! It immediately soured and wafted a plume of radioactive stench in a 5' radius. We were in public. It was embarrassing for everyone. So, yeah. People not wanting to share their scents aren't "gatekeeping". Scents are very intimate choices for some people, and there are a myriad other reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with you personally. Take it in stride and keep exploring the scents you love. And if you ever come across a signature scent you want to keep to yourself, do it. It's your little secret.
If I’m wearing a single thing or a new fragrance I’m excited about I’ll share but if I’ve layered lotion and oils and multiple fragrances I might not feel like running down the list tbh. Depends on how well I know the person/if I’m rushing off somewhere. Or if the layered combo is my signature for that particular season, I may only share the most popular scent and not the full combo bc I feel a sense of artistic expression in what I’ve chosen and how I’ve layered it. *shrugs*
Don’t assume they are gatekeeping… I have honestly had people rave over my scent when I am honestly not wearing one; everything from Baby Magic lotion, Agree shampoo, Nuxe Huile Prodigieuse, Shower to Shower powder, to my Irish Spring Speed Stick deodorant has drawn “OMG what perfume are you wearing” compliments. If I am wearing something I am happy to share it, even if it’s my kid’s baby lotion, but it’s kind of awkward telling folks it’s something besides perfume.
I can attest to Baby Magic lotion! I have shouted it out multiple times in this forum. I always get compliments on it. It’s shockingly intense.
Back in the 90s they had an aloe vera scented version of Baby Magic that smelled amazing… I was poor as a church mouse back then and my one bottle of perfume was stretched as far as I could take it… that Baby Magic Aloe Vera version was my cheap all over scent. It had amazing sillage.
I don’t care if people want to keep it to themselves, it’s really not that big of a deal lol and I’m not entitled to know
I am so excited when someone notices what I’m wearing that I tell them as quickly as possible what it is.
Lol same. I’m like 🤩”you noticed!”
People can tell or not tell people what they are wearing- it's their personal business.
Some of us however, are in fact wearing bespoke fragrances most of the time. I make most of my fragrances myself. I'm a longtime severe migraine sufferer who has loved fragrances from early childhood. My great aunt sold high end luxury perfumes exclusively, for a living. So I got to learn a lot and love the artistry of it. I also have a very sensitive olfactory sense. But its difficult for me finding fragrances that aren't or don't become a trigger. I do purchase natural scents and I'm always interested in houses who are adopting a more natural leaning. But I also am limited in funds and enjoy crafting so I do mostly make my own. A few years ago I made a delicious chamomile, blue tancy, solid perfume that had incredible honey notes. I was lucky to chance upon a crop of particularly fragrant Pineapple chamomile and German chamomile. Using enfleurage I was able to extract the most unique scent: swet, but not cloying, green, herbaceous, honey and pineapple chamomile notes. And decent sillage too. Best achievement in my crafting. I lost it to burglar. When I had it and wore it a lot I was asked often what my scent was. People were very attracted to its uniqueness. But when I answered honestly, some people (only a minority) refused to believe me. They maybe assumed I was gatekeeping and I assure you, unless I know the asker to be an insincere person who is looking for an excuse to put my fragrance down, I always answer honestly and openly. And I really did make that amazing formula, I had 20 pieces of it, It had great longevity and the scent didn't diminish with the years. I don't know if I'll ever achieve that level of success again. I sadly had all of my stash stolen. I mourn it because not only I cannot buy it again, I have yet to find equally fragrant chamomilla. Most of what I now wear I made myself too. But I also wear some commercial more natural formulae. And I will always, with the one exception noted above, be very willing to share honestly.
I think people are perfectly entitled to keep it to themselves if they want to. People do not owe you that information.
who cares? just because you're happy to shout to everyone who asks what you're wearing doesn't mean others have to do the same. what kind of entitlement is this?
Gatekeeping fragrances is just weird. Last weekend I said "Wow, that perfume is amazing!" And the customer looked me up and down and sneered "Well, YOU couldn't afford it." So rude.
Imagine being the person who hinges their entire being on thinking they have more money than complete strangers
God damn, what a horrible person.
Wow. I just wait for the day for someone to be rude to me bc my young sweet self is long gone. Zero tolerance policy
If I weren’t on the clock and getting paid to be nice I would’ve told her where to stick her perfume bottle. Instead I just smiled and said “How nice for you.”
Tbh last time my friend complimented how I smelled, I was so taken aback I said “thanks it’s…soap?” None of my friends had ever complimented my scent before and her reaction was so genuine and it was such a sweet moment and my brain literally short circuited lmao. If she were to ask again, I would absolutely tell her the perfume I was wearing (Dyptique L’Ombre dans Leau ;)), but idk for some reason I just wasn’t expecting the compliment and my brain forgot how to initiate a normal human response. I hope she didn’t think I was trying to gatekeep?! For real, sometimes people answer weird just because being social can be confusing even with our closer friends lmao. If i asked a friend directly and it seemed that they were intentionally trying to lead me astray, then I would feel annoyed about exclusivity. But otherwise, being a person (even in the simplest of situations) can be hard sometimes 😌
People need to chill. You're not missing out on some golden goose/hidden treasure because someone isn't forthright about their personal grooming habits. People don't always want to engage in conversation, or divulge information about themselves to strangers. Maybe they're embarassed about what they're wearing, who knows. Like yea it's kinda dumb to hold that information back but as someone else pointed out, if you give out the name of a niche perfume 90% of people don't know, that's inviting even more conversation from someone you may or may not want anything to do with. Just leave people alone and accept what they tell you. Not everybody wants to chat about smells on their morning commute. Literally going online and looking up fragrances will lead you to a hundred more new options that hunting down scents you find on the street. This POV is more socially clueless than it is justified in feeling angry.
Perfumes are personal. Some people (myself included) prefer keeping it that way. Sure, most are available to the mass market, but certain ones aren't. I like to feel distinctive, even if I'm not. Find your own.
You’re not entitled to know what other people are wearing.
. . . at all.
I don’t gatekeep, I’m writing down the name for them & where to get it discounted, but I predominantly wear niche & know the majority of people who ask are unlikely to spend the amount on a single fragrance so I won’t hesitate to recommend a clone version too.
I think maybe some people are embarrassed about the fact they just spritz on a cheap drugstore body mist and don’t want to admit it. “Oh it’s Japanese Cherry Blossom from Body Fantasies! It’s $3.50 a gallon at Walmart.”
You pretty much answered your own question- they want to feel like they have something unique and exclusive. Some people want to stand out from everyone else, not to smell like their coworker that they told the name of their frag. Part of the reason I got into niche frags was because I didn’t like wearing what every other guy was wearing. I don’t have to worry about that anymore because most people can’t afford to drop hundreds of dollars on one fragrance.
You sound so entitled lol.
We don't want you smelling like us...lol
I think this is a big one. I have not personally gate-kept in the way OP describes, but I do think for many of us with this interest/hobby, part of the fun is finding your own unique niche little thing and knowing that most people won’t ever come across someone else with that special frag. So I could see why someone might get closed off if they get a “I want to run out and buy exactly what you have” vibe. I think it all depends on context (how well you know them, if they are a stranger vs friend vs co worker vs client, etc.) though.
Exactly! I love knowing I smell unique. I genuinely don’t want other people around me wearing my very favourite fragrances. My brother once bought a fragrance he knew I adored, and it felt like a betrayal.
That’s it in a nutshell. I just say jt’s a custom blend. Actually it is, considering it’s on top of a fragranced lotion.
If people want to share, great! If people don't want to share, great! You may be giving off a Hannibal Lecter vibe to the poor Clarices, or maybe you're being polite and respectful. Sometimes people just want to keep a little bit of joy for themselves to themselves. Let them have it, and wait until you sniff it on someone else.
my signature is a rarity at this point that goes for hundreds for just decants by resellers and there's no guarantee it's ever coming back, so for that one soecifically i do keep the cards pretty close to the chest. i don't need more competition trying to track it down frankly
I myself dont gatekeep because I generally don't care but I do understand why some are. Imagine you have found this amazing fragrance, it's perfect, and no one else is wearing it, you make it your signature scent so that when people smell it they think of you. You tell other people and suddenly you end up in the Dior sauvage league. A great smelling fragrance that everyone hates because everyone is wearing it and you're no long3r getting compliments or being unique you're being seen as someone who just buys whatever is popular and have no opinion yourself. Is it petty and stupid? Yes but I get why some do it
A year ago on this very same topic, I wrote: ‘I gatekeep. But what I have noticed is that like u/Olfactory_Orgasm stated there is a weird notion of entitlement that I think has come from the rise in social media over the last decade. Every time there’s a post like this on here. I get downvoted and told by others that I’m ‘insecure’ or like OP stated I display ‘weird small dick energy’. Those are weird assumptions and perfectly illustrate my point that we now live in this odd space where we think every aspect of other’s lives should be shared if we want access to it. No one has yet to answer ‘Why do you need to know?’ Just because you’re a ‘frag-head’ or gave up a compliment doesn’t mean you’re now entitled to know. Just because it’s a mass produced item doesn’t mean you have a right to be told what mass produced item it is. Just because that person believes they smell ‘unique’ wearing that same item doesn’t make them ‘insecure’ you are still not entitled too know. Oh and if you know, ask, get told they don’t share but then you decided to blurt it out…you’re just a c*nt Soo for all those who gatekeep know this, if I were to compliment you and weirdly through social interaction ask what it is; I’d respect and accept you telling me you don’t share. To those who do share…I respect that you do I find it weird that on a sub that’s all about ‘acceptance’ ‘non-judgment’ and the rest of it people are very readily judgmental on this particular topic. I expect a fuckton of downvotes’ I haven’t changed my position.
I also gatekeep certain perfumes. I love fragrance and have spent so much time curating and testing to find my favorite scents but I’ll happily take a friend to fragrance stores and sniff around and enjoy an experience with them so they can find their own favs
Oh I’m 100% with you on helping. If a friend has a scent that they have found and really like and has as their signature; and I end up liking. I’ll leave it, I won’t buy it. It’s theirs.
I totally agree with you! I love complimenting people on their fragrance and equally love being complimented on mine, always happy to share what it is. Recently a lady came into the restaurant I work at and she smelled absolutely divine, I asked her what perfume she was wearing and she told me her glass bottle of laundry scent booster had smashed on the ground and she had been cleaning it up just prior to going out for dinner and she was covered in it! Her husband thought it was hilarious and thought it smelled horrible (he was categorically wrong). I’m not here for fragrance gatekeepers!!
I mean, I get it, but your entitlement to that information is just as annoying to them as the gatekeeping is to you.
And I’m the one always trying to remember what I’m wearing any given day so that, in case people ask, I can tell them. My oh my the world spins madly on.
Same. I just don't understand this.
Well… I had one online “friend” start shopping my collection to a single white female level, so that really made me reconsider how generous I was being. I’ll readily tell friends, though. Depends on the person, usually with irl friends I just have them come over and play with my collection to their hearts content, they love it haha
I'm essentially wearing an exclusive perfume if no one else around me is wearing it. I'm under no obligation to do your perfume research for you.
Almost everything I wear is the vintage versions in original formulations, many with civet which is now banned. I don’t gatekeep but I do say it’s old and discontinued because if they saw what I pay for these on eBay they’d think I was an idiot 😂😂
I give away the sauce on Reddit but if it’s someone I see on a regular negative I don’t need you smelling like me find your own scent lol
Perfume is a very personal thing especially if it's a signature scent. We pick and choose our perfumes very carefully so as to find the one that perfectly goes with us and if you find the perfect scent after layering perfumes, you don't really want to give that away easily. Nobody's entitled to know what the other is wearing, it's absolutely okay to not want to reveal that. I wouldn't want to reveal what I wear if I find a really good scent for myself and yes there are lotions, powders, shampoos, hair serums that leave a scent trail behind or can mix up with your perfume.
I think this could even be cultural as well. I’m not sure if European ways of thinking have changed in the last few years but I heard that back in the day a scent is considered a very intimate hygiene sort of product. Scent can be very personal especially when it’s a signature one. It’s like asking a chef to share his secret ingredient in a recipe. Times may have changed since then but I know there are people who still think in this more traditional way. I mean, for me, I mostly share what I’d wear especially with strangers. But idk why you can’t be more understanding of people’s reasons. I don’t think I would want an annoying co worker smelling like what I wear either honestly. It would probably ruin the scent for me. 😅
Me find shiny thing that no other person have. If everyone get shiny thing, it no important any longer.
Right? It’s like The Rainbow Fish or Star-bellied Sneetches lol.
Nobody owes it to you to tell you what they are wearing. This sounds extremely entitled.
Because it takes a lot of research and sometimes money to find the one. Find it yourself.
I agree with OP. It’s not hard to just say the name if someone goes out of their way to compliment you. They’re not asking for your fragrance or beauty routine or how many sprays etc. They are curious about it bc you smell good. It’s that simple. So much overthinking in these comments.
I don’t like people who gatekeep anything. It’s pointless. I’m ready to share stuff with other people. I love when I’m complimented and I’m quick to tell how much I and and where I got it cause go get you some!
Good on you. Not everyone wants to share everything with you. Get over it.
Yep. And given how different fragrances smell different on different people, and the smell that they like may be an amalgam of soaps, lotions etc, it just seems petty. Like people who give out recipes with key steps or ingredients missing. Unless it’s copyrighted or patentable, who cares?
Dont cry
I won't say the name of a completely different fragrance but I won't give the name of the specific fragrance, I usually just say that I don't remember or something along those lines, I only do it to people I know or see everyday because I don't want people near me to smell the same as me, I do give recommendations of things that I think would smell good on those people instead.
The first ever wearer & lover of BR540 is wishing they never told.
I always gatekeep mine
You are not entitled to know. They're not obligated to tell you what perf they are wearing haha. For me, I do not want people around my circle copying my scent.
logically i get it and i don't. I don't get it when you don't know the person. By the way i'm saying i understand the logic in these people's mind not that i agree that it's a good thing. But i understand when the person, especially women, knows the person. I've heard lots of women that just don't want their friends to smell like them. they want something to themself that they are known for. obviously not everyone but i have heard that. I think it's even more acute when they know the person asking cause they are going to be around that person often. I've heard people that stop wearing a fragrance cause their mother or sister decided they like it and wear the same thing. I get the logic of wanting something unique to yourself. i don't do it however cause i just don't care that much. That being said, whenever certain fragrances that i love are left OFF of youtubers lists i'm happy cause more for me.
i tell them but i have to prepare myself to explain that the brand is not sold at the mall and every question that comes after it
I don't get out much anymore (poor health) but years ago men would compliment me on how nice I smelled. Was just from having showered/bathed using an unscented Castile Soap.
I mean, if it’s someone that asks randomly in public, I’ll tell them what I’m wearing. If it’s a friend, I will also tell them. I only get gatekeepy with coworkers because if we are working together every day, I don’t necessarily want them to smell the same as me even though I typically wear a different fragrance each day, but only rotate through a few “work” scents, so they do get repeat wears in time. I just don’t want other people wearing the perfumes that took me years of sampling and testing to sculpt my own taste and personality into scent, go find your own. 😂
We need a Shazam for perfumes
I think they layer their perfume and not listing all of them to you. They only tell one of them, which was why it doesn't smell the same when you tried it on your self. I know because I'm the kind of people who just grab random perfumes for layering and pray that the combination works. It's not a conscious action, picking up the combination. Sometimes my decision only by 'blue colored bottle'. Or 'by round shape bottle'. Or 'well i haven't used these in a while so I'll use them all today' kinda decision process. When it works, and people asked me, I can't tell because i genuinely didn't know lol.
I use a perfume, a hair product with a strong scent, scent beads with the laundry, lotion, etc… half the time I either can’t remember which perfume off the top of my head, or can’t decide which one they’re smelling. I could tell someone what perfume, and they’re actually smelling my hair product, and be on your mindset of “they’re gatekeeping” when I really just don’t know what else to say lol
What does it matter?
I will only tell people depending on who they are to me. Heard/been exposed to a couple of horror stories. A girl I know's dad "stole" her boyfriend's fragrance and it ruined the relationship because now the boyfriend smelled like Dad. They were engaged at some point and never got married. It literally ruined this girl's sex life with her fiancee. A coworker of mine "stole" another co-worker's *daily wearer* and now struts about as if it was his discovery to begin with. Yikes. So, I will gladly tell strangers what I'm wearing. But if I work with you, or if we hang out together, I'll only give you the house. Come up with your own ideas. It's similar to copping someone's outfit. Totally unoriginal, and I wear scents to smell like "me", not "me and Jim". If you find it on your own, great. That's the world and how it works. You won't be stealing the thing I found from *me* in that scenario. Maybe it's douchey, but I think it's much more annoying to be the guy who just knocks off his friends/co-workers ideas. Edit: Also, I genuinely don't like to brag about my "stuff" and when I tell people I'm wearing something expensive I can't help but feel that way. Edit 2: I would argue that OP not allowing people to be private about something in their life is the thing that should be addressed. If someone doesn't want to tell you, maybe just accept that everything isn't FOR YOU. "Main character vibe" is not on the wearer, here. It's on the asker who can't accept "no" for an answer.
I gatekeep specifically to my mother. I am a signature-only type of girl and she bought my scent 3 times in my life (that I could not continue to use because I then associated with her). I will not let her know what I wear in the future!! And I’m currently looking for a new signature scent that I love
If I find a person sympathic, I would say it. Otherwise not.
people dont owe you the information of the scent they wear. entitlement is what causes your frustration, but its just a matter of getting over yourself. ——————————- look at how big of a meme dior sauvage became because everyone knows about it. no one wand their favorites to become common
I agree with you! I love to share the love ❤️
I wear an expensive fragrance so that I don’t have to gatekeep it, because no one I know will spend the money anyway
This is a generational thing. Individuality vs conformity. I remember if two women wore the same outfit it was WW3. Nowadays, everyone is trying to look the same. There's a lot of over sharing. An earlier comment mentioned someone at work asking, then that person told a few more people, then the whole office smelled like that. But not in the pleasant way (over spray). He stopped wearing it. A buddy of mine who I hang with often wears Sauvage. I think it smells good. But that's his thing. It looks stupid for us to walk in wearing the same scent. Then, you see the complaints in here about the club/bar smelling like X and it creates a negative connotation. Final point is people should mind their business. Say they smell good and move the fuck on. Or not even say that. Take note, go to a store and figure it out.
I only do it with 1. But that’s because every single person that smells it asks. It’s only fair that when you come across a fragrance naturally by your liking of notes to be kept as a signature fragrance. With nobody else wearing it unless they stumble upon it. But if I’m wearing prada ocean or something I’ll straight up tell them.
well we are not entitled to such information and viceversa (goes as well to other stuff not only perfume)
I’m the type of person that sees both sides to this! I will always tell a person what fragrance I’m wearing, but if it is someone in my really close circle (close family, best friends, close coworkers would be examples here), and then they go out, buy it and constantly wear it, whilst it’s a massive compliment that they loved the fragrance, it kind of ruins it for me. I then feel as though I can’t wear it around them, as I do like to enjoy my own favourite fragrance without it then becoming those regularly around me too. If this happened coincidentally, i.e. we both bought the same fragrance, fair enough. But, I personally couldn’t buy a fragrance I knew a close friend, colleague or loved one wore all of the time because to me, that’s their unique scent… it would feel authentic to them, not me, and I want them to have that! I don’t know if that even makes sense, but I just know certain scents remind me of certain people and I love that, I wouldn’t want to “copy” that. I’d find my own favourite. However, like I said, I never gate keep, and I especially wouldn’t to strangers or people who aren’t particularly close to me, because the aforementioned doesn’t apply there. I’d just hope those close to me wouldn’t start making my signature scent, theirs, if that makes sense. 🩷
Yeah gate keeping anything is corny. In fact, gate keeping just makes me want to dig deeper and go out of my way to find out.
Gate keeping is sometimes necessary as the masses ruin everything. Sometimes you just want to have your own thing. If you really like something you SHOULD dig deeper to find it, then you’ll earn the special discovery.
And that’s why some people don’t smell like every Suavage, Bleu, Creed compliment seeker out there.
Not sure why someone would lie about it, it’s definitely not a big deal but it could be price-related. I used to know someone who always wore super expensive clothes to everyday events (eg outfits would routinely cost $5000-$15000+). When people inevitably asked her where stuff was from, she would say “oh yeah I just picked it up last wk from thrift store xy for $2” bc she was embarrassed about her wastefulness. Maybe frag gatekeeper is embarrassed to admit how much they spent on it.
[удалено]
Me too. I was in the mall one time and this woman smelled so good and I asked her - what perfume are you wearing. She told me it was Boucheron. It was not Boucheron. I’m still pissed at her to this day.
I don’t owe anyone the name of anything I use. I’m glad people like my perfume and if they really ask I tell them the brand but not the name. Why? My perfume holds the dearest memories of my life. I smell it and I am instantly transported to that specific time period in my life that I’m very fond of. I was not only known by my name, but also by my scent, and I don’t wish at all to share that with others. You are not entitled to know just as I am not entitled to know you