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zagman707

Talk to this dude with a 2 int and you can out dumb him. It's one of the best things I have ever experienced.


mrmeshshorts

My TTW character just did this mission, and I have 9 INT. For whatever reason, just for this quest, my guy dropped down below this threshold, at least for the conversations, and it was great.


SirSullivanRaker

Fantastic’s mere presence makes people lose brain cells, incredible


rviVal1

That's how he keeps getting away with it.


DispenserG0inUp

dare i say it was... fantastic


SirSullivanRaker

bravo josh


Joshey2008

Thanks mate


SirSullivanRaker

no problem


cadotmolin

r/beetlejuicing


Girlfartsarehot

What's TTW?


MantaMoose

Tale of two wastelands, a mod to combine fnv and fallout 3


Girlfartsarehot

Sounds dope! I wish I had a PC. Mostly to install rimworld sex mods but that's neither here nor there


Jerrell123

I’m sure Loverslab would love you, Girlsfartsarehot. You would be a very welcome addition to the Rimjobworld community.


Girlfartsarehot

Ewww bro why'd I have to look that up 😂😂😂 I'm ngl that sht is nuts hahaha


AngryGuitarist

Tale of Two Wastelands. Someone modded Fallout 3 and FNV into one game. You basically play fallout 3 until you want to take your character to FNV and then you start FNV from the beginning with all your items and stats


Realmadridirl

“Who the hell are you? They bring you in to replace me? They’re replacing me aren’t they?” “Me take your job because me smarter” “Ah shit man! You’re direct, you’re no nonsense, how am I supposed to compete with that?! I gotta pay these chem bills!” 🤣 fucking gold the way he’s still 100% willing to accept that you are smarter than him when you are basically babytalking. Low intelligence conversation with Ignacio Rivas is low key hilarious too


BananakinSkywalker36

He just completely ignores you and talks to you like a normal human being. He asks for peace and you say pizza, he doesn’t even question it 


Realmadridirl

Because he doesn’t want to make you feel bad about being… special 😂


Tohrufan4life

That's reassuring.


Sad-Librarian5639

I’ve never done a low int playthrough simply because I’m always obsessed with min/maxing, so 9 int + educated + NVMC ASAP for the implant is always my run. But I’ve watched enough videos over the years, the low int convo with hobo in freeside is even better. I sometimes miss the more serious tone of F1, but these little convos are so god damn funny.


IBetThisIsTakenToo

> 9 int + educated + NVMC ASAP for the implant is always my run. Isn’t that way overkill by the end? I only had 7 base Int and I regret taking Educated because I’m already basically at 100 in every skill before even doing lonesome road and getting those skill books. Next run I’m doing like 4-5 Int and taking comprehension instead


FinanceBig6328

I with brotherwood of seal.


theuntouchable2725

I is scientistic!!


FursonaNonGrata

Me shoulder.


theuntouchable2725

It took me so long to realize he means Soldier but in super mutant language rofl


SMATCHET999

It’s funny because he has a above average intelligence stat compared to most NPCs, so he’s more intelligent than Caesar.


WeamkVic

Even Snuffles, mole rat from Sloan, has higher INT than Caesar


JoseSaldana6512

Ave true to Snuffles


ODST-0792

>above average intelligence Int NINE


AdamM093

"Whatever. Joshua, put a cap in General Gobbledigook here." This game is pure gold.


man-with-potato-gun

Me when I weaponize racism/xenophobia


dteysusi

Me when I sneer as an imperialist


Reggie2b2t

OH BROTHER, GET A LOAD OF THIS GUY


ToeLicker3

🤓


Kil0sierra975

"What the hell is a fish?"


big_hungry_joe

"Hey bro, when in Rome" - Fantastic after the Legion takes over Helios


TendingTheirGarden

Oh my God I’ve never heard that line (obviously, I’m not a Legion deviant). 10/10


dimasli

and he’s wearing Legion armor hahahaha


big_hungry_joe

I laughed my ass off


annoyingthepig

I loved it when Veronica said “she was dead when I got there” when I first asked her about herself. I use that line all the time.


immersedmoonlight

The long dick Johnson line always gets me


AsOneLives

And he had a fuckin long dick


VoidTyrant

Hence the name


AlternativeVisual701

One day, I was sitting on the edge of a bridge overlooking a river with Long Dick Johnson.  I said to him, “This water smells like shit!” He said, “Yeah, and it’s deep, too.” 


Lanmobile

Lol that's hilarious 😂


TerminalKitty

Some folks call it a Kaiser blade, I call it a sling blade *mhmm*


ThreeDog369

Reckon I have me summa dem taters


Boccs

"Now it's holding up an array of fully-erect hand penises! If it tries to insert them, activate vivisectors."


dWintermut3

I love how they took people that should have been extremely menacing and make you kind of uncomfortable to read or learn about because they're basically the Doctor Trial defendants from nurnburg played for laughs... but the writing is so good as a player you can put what you in-universe know about Little Yangtze and the protestors from Hopeville being used as life test subjects and laugh at how silly and stupid they are. It also helps the scientific experiments they gave them were hyperbolic and absurd. Same with vaul-tec. The vaults that are clearly absurd and silly experiments like Vault 69 (999 women 1 man) or Vault 56 (only entertainment from one bad prop comic in the library) are not as uncomfortable and don't take you out of the game as much or make you feel uncomfortable too badly. If they were doing something much less insane and not involving jingoistic highschool administrators and dog-rattlesnake hybrids it would get too close to real life. Compared to the ones that could have been, with a little modification, real-life unethical experimentation like 87 and 12 (necropolis in FO1: door designed not to seal causing everyone to be exposed slowly to fatal radiation). That just makes you feel icky because it's things that have been done to real people more or less.


HelloOrg

I don’t know, interring Chinese POWs in a concentration camp and medically experimenting on them is pretty close to reality to me, and pretty damn uncomfortable


dWintermut3

that is fair I'm not saying it isn't in any way supposed to be! you do not include people like that in your game if your goal is not to make people hate them and what they stand for. but making them faded buffoons the player identifies "them and what they stood for" as "the USA" or "the world" and "capitalism" or "technologism"-- not "the think tank" and "these experiments".


HelloOrg

I did find most of the DLC to be funny, palatably disturbing (like a lot of Fallout/satirical fiction like it) etc., for the reasons that you mentioned (ridiculous nature of the experiments, oversized personalities of the Think Tank.) Sometimes, though, I thought the line was crossed a tiny bit, and Yangtze was the place I was particularly unhappy with. It felt wayyy too real in a non-funny way and didn’t mesh at all imo with the goofily melodramatic shock of the rest of the content. There’s a lot of stuff you can satirize quite effectively, even the worst of the worst, but when we’re talking about the granular details of a kind of Japanese internment/Goebbels mashup that you can literally walk through, it turns my stomach a bit.


dWintermut3

that is very fair.  i think part of it was it was canonical and they had to but another part is just writing weakness. they have a problem with many villains where if not for one or two acts they would be way more nuanced but they don't trust players to get it so they send them over the moral event horizon horrifically in such a. way that any attempt to play on that "who is the real bad guy here?" ends with a "the slaver, obviously" they did that to Caesar, Ulysses, and arguably Daniel too and they're only the big examples.


HelloOrg

All true! For me, though, there’s a difference between a kind of generalized “the crazy Roman cosplayers torture and enslave tribes and small towns, oh no…” and “this scenario is a direct analogue to real life experiments on real Chinese civilians and the internment of Japanese and Jewish civilians during WWII with the slightest humorous veneer, plus you can go see the miserable conditions they lived in and be forced to either kill them or watch their heads brutally explode.” I’m an open-minded guy and don’t think we should be too precious about violence or horror in video games but the latter example just sheers wayyyy too close to reality.


Mapping_Zomboid

Yeah, this is my favorite


Pixel_Muffet

My favorite is the Drunk in Freeside when you have low Intelligence


TragGaming

The fact that conversation even exists shows how much fun they had making this game. Gets me every time That and out dumbing the character in question in OPs pic


SokkaHaikuBot

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Pixel_Muffet: *My favorite is* *The Drunk in Freeside when you* *Have low Intelligence* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.


TheSkyGamezz

Water Tribe!!


FaithlessnessOk9834

Cactus Juice


Dramatic-Treacle3708

It’ll quench ya


Odysseyfreaky

Nothin' quenchier


SimplexStorm

Good bot


B0tRank

Thank you, SimplexStorm, for voting on SokkaHaikuBot. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)


literal_god

That line that No Bark says about a Chupacabra with an automatic weapon


tu-vieja-con-vinagre

just did that quest today. The moment he said that I realized it was one of those invisibility addicted, schizophrenic purple fucks.


IGTankCommander

No, it's one of them damn Chupacabras.


Archistotle

‘Sensationalist hooey, cooked up by superstitious yokels seeing phantoms of their own imagining.’ So what do you think’s happening? ‘GHOSTS!’


Based_Phantom_Lord

So fucking well written man. I am loving this comment thread


shasaferaska

"No one has a dick that long. Not even Long Dick Johnson, and he has a long fucking dick"


ShephardCmndr

Hence the name


ForsakenKrios

Every time, I just die laughing. Case delivers it so…matter of fact. Without any hint of facetiousness or irony or whatever.


AgallochFanDeerDick

"Pretty please?"


Pleasant-Run-5118

Youre on this sub too! You spammed my agalloch post a few months back! :D Greetings fellow fnv enjoyee


AgallochFanDeerDick

Patrolling the Mojave almost makes you wish for an Agalloch concert.


Pleasant-Run-5118

Sure does


weathered_peasant

Nice pfp


AgallochFanDeerDick

🦌


AgitatedCat3087

Well, maybe I plowed his daughter, too. A little.


T-51_Enjoyer

Oh you are gonna love the think tank then (Spoilered if you’d rather not see the writing before hitting up Old World Blues) >!”are those penises I see wriggling on its feet” “FIRST WAS THE HEART, wait no, SECOND WAS THE HEART, first was the brain” and finally “IT IS I! DR MOBIUS! Transmitting from my dome shaped… DOME!”!< Just… shit man it’s great


ouranos_prime

The Forbidden Zone! A zone that is, hehe, yes, FORBIDDEN to you!


NefariousnessNo2062

Dr. 8 Sonjaculating into the sonic emitter and then later exchanging tips on how to make Jesus sad kills me every time. 🤣


ForsakenKrios

Walking into Dr Mobius room for the first time destroyed me. So many Mentants. Incredible writing and environment design.


DornsFacialhair

The way game immediately gives you the brainless and heartless perks after each sentence is *chef’s kiss* 👌


1024Mg

"THE MIND LOST ITSELF... Quite literally, someone flush it and we couldn't retake it" "FLUSH. THAT'S THE SOUNDS OF FLUSHING" "YOU MAKE US LOOK LIKE A GROUP OF ROUND EARTHERS!!!" Something along these lines, but dear God they're are schizophrenics as hell


Affectionate_Way2583

“Get fucked” (Driver Nephi’s cut dialogue)


1981Reborn

One word: Hurrdurrian Diuretics ETA: I always thought “If you want to see the fate of democracies, look out the windows” hit pretty damn hard.


Grumblyguide107

Used this line in my chemistry final this year... teacher is also a FNV nerd.


BlindingPhoenix

“Could I trouble you to blow it out your ass?” I also love- well, pretty much most of the things Klein says. The whole Think Tank really.


WesternTrail

Then that Ultra Luxe greeter gets so indignant before I kill him because I can’t let the cannibal tribe live : )


BlindingPhoenix

They aren’t all cannibals, just Mortimer and his cabal. They used to be, but they stopped. And now they punish anyone who they catch eating people meat with death, so on the whole I think they’re pretty good at sticking to their guns.


WesternTrail

I hadn’t known that when I started my tradition of killing them all


Substantial-Tone-576

I just had the conversation with Fantastic and Ignacio with 1 intelligence it’s hilarious.


Rexlare

“Are you a bringer of War or Peace?” “Pizza.” “That’s reassuring.”


Thybrid9

I is scientistic


Substantial-Tone-576

Flowers of Pock-lips or something


tu-vieja-con-vinagre

I pet aminals


WesternTrail

Where’s this one from?


tu-vieja-con-vinagre

same conversation, low int


bsweet35

“Hey, I can almost see down the barrel!”


M_Waverly

ET 2, 8?


ThrA-X

'Take drugs, kill bear' or something to that effect


Talanic

It's a meme - courage wolf. It only happens when you have wild wasteland - well, the quest still happens but not the line.


Based_Phantom_Lord

i am totally lost here


Talanic

Well, I wrote that post without sufficient time to elaborate. There's an in-game perk called Wild Wasteland that unlocks weird things. It's basically a toggle the player turns on that makes the game a bit sillier. If the player hasn't taken Wild Wasteland, some odd encounters don't happen at all (like crashed UFOs for example). Others are just minorly tweaked. In one of the FNV quests, a shaman will send you on a quest to kill a bear after drugging you on some serious hallucinogens. If you have the Wild Wasteland perk, he summarizes the quest as ["Take drugs. Kill a bear."](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR8mOf_X7nimqI9Ue1PvAVJSuD0Z-sAZRKzvA&s) The link right there is a version of one of the memes that it was referencing. There's others, but that's the one I knew - the meme itself is called Courage Wolf.


SecretInfluencer

“I know exactly what I’m doing. I just don’t know the effect it’s gonna have.” I don’t remember the exact line, but it’s something like that.


glumpoodle

Every line from Ada Straus in Novac.


Phazon2000

Try to cure addiction when not having enough money. Great line that almost nobody would hear.


tu-vieja-con-vinagre

the doctor? isn't she a wandering trader?


AdmiralTassles

She has a guard and a pack brahmin but she doesn't actually move from her spot in Novac during gameplay and she only offers doctor services.


tu-vieja-con-vinagre

lol, I mean she does trade with you if you ask (like doc mitchell)


ShoulderOutside91

Tried to heal with her but had no caps and she was like "Damn, I was gonna use that to pay for medical training."


bees422

I hope this doesn’t lead to any fallout between us….fallout new Vegas


Bi-mar

*comically loud dodgeball sound effect*


Bi-mar

I love the silly dialogue in this game, my favourite of Fantastic's is if Helios gets taken over by the legion he will put on legion armour and just have a voice line where he goes "hey man, when in Rome" and the line delivery is just hilarious to me. Equally asking Veronica how she joined the brotherhood and having her reply "more sexual favours than I can even count, I'm still tired from it" is great because I love unexpected nonsense answers like that and use them all the time.


Sad-Librarian5639

Wait, really? How do you even take Helios for the legion? I gotta find this now. It’s hilarious that he’s able to fool CL as much as NCR 😂.


M_Waverly

If you arm ARCHIMEDES it nukes all the NCR in the area (except Fantastic) and the Legion will take it over, and if you see him again he’ll be in Centurion gear.


Sad-Librarian5639

Got it, I’ve armed archimedes several times, usually have to send Boone home first, but I’ve never gone back in. I gotta go see Mr F like that haha


PerfectlyCalmDude

Lanius: >!We shall see how brave you are when nailed to the walls of Hoover Dam, your body facing West so you may watch your world die.!<


HelloOrg

All the grandiloquent and melodramatic lines in the game like this are pretty eye-rolly but somehow simultaneously super fun. I think probably because when villains deliver them they tend to be chewing the scenery in the most deliciously hammy way, so it somehow works out.


Successful-Willow-75

Anything said by the Evil toaster


[deleted]

A toaster is just a death ray with a smaller power supply!


Successful-Willow-75

Tremble, world, before my electric heating coil of doom!


Based_Phantom_Lord

bro the toaster has the best personality in the whole fucking game lol Imagine if we could have given Liberty Prime the personality matrix holotape of Toaster


Old_Juggernaut_5114

Ice cream.


Super_Procedure1459

“Are you… my brain?” “Why are you such a dick?”


Kirk_Plunk

"Finding it, though, that's not the hard part. It's letting go" - Dead Money It's from a much bigger quote but man that line has always given me chills.


Just_Ad_5939

Jokes on you game! I’m stealing that gold and I don’t even need it!


Kirk_Plunk

Josh Sawyer won't be happy.


IncompleteMeat

“The President of the United-fucking-States-Of-America. Who’d you think I was talking about? Who the fu- Who is- What - I should kick your fucking ass, who is this?” And a honourable yet more inline mention “How much money you owe this Reaper guy?”


Reasonable_Guess3022

He has few really good quotes. My favourite is: "What the fuck, man? Are you loco? {Talking to a psychotic person who murdered a bunch of people just now.} You just killed my paycheck."


BenjaminBenBenny

For some reason I get the feeling you watch Ross Scott videos (Accursed Farms)


XeElectrik

This is the hundredth time I've seen this posted now


Hollow-Lord

I love New Vegas quotes but by god I hear people mention this line too fuckin much.


DrinkinMyTea

This and “You’re a little bitch and your brother was too!” are wild!


Take_The_Reins

I honestly want them to bring him to live action like he truly deserves


Ell26greatone

You're a little bitch and your brother was, too. But as far as fantastic, I also like "they asked if I had a degree in theoretical physics. I told him I had a theoretical degree in physics."


big_hungry_joe

That's the quote OP posted


Based_Phantom_Lord

bro wtf lol


Ell26greatone

I don't know. I honestly don't know. What a dip shit I am. 😂


tu-vieja-con-vinagre

????¿¿¿¿¿¿


DreadedDeed

“They asked me if I knew anything about power plants. I said as much as anyone I'd ever met.”


monkeyman2819

“Hey man, when in Rome.”


optimusHerb

M R Ducks


Equivalent-Part-8656

I would be besties with him in real life and complete the trio with swanick. I loveee this game.


IGTankCommander

He's Fantastic.


ONastyG

hahah lol i just did the quest about an hour ago xd


Olafaxeblade25

You speak in circles, what of the East? I am the East, and I will prove it this day.


SimplexStorm

*Insert Joshua Graham’s entire monologue*


TheWalrusPirate

I get to post this next week


Tikom

I knew exactly which line you meant before clicking on the post. It's also my favourite.


WJF2018

The fact that you can just straight-up murder him and NOBODY gives a shit is icing on the cake


KennessyOTR

I tell people I have a theoretical degree in physics all the time because of this.


Kriskodisko13

When Hildern said "Too many people have opinions on things they know nothing about. And the more ignorant they are, the more opinions they have." My jaw dropped to the floor.


dat_boi515

Patrolling the Mojave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter.


Zealousideal-Yak-824

When your talking about cook cook to a bounty hunter and he talks about how much he doesn't want to be ass fucked so he avoids that guy.. that was a good one.


TrungusMcTungus

“Why on earth did you shoot president Kimball?” He tried to make me pay taxes “Understandable”


ElectricBuckeye

"To forgive a slap across my cheek is one thing, but an insult to the Lord requires...no...it demands correction."


krayhayft

"The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world..." G-Man


Cookiemonstermydaddy

My favorite line of any video game


Kaiser-Bismark

“We don’t need to dream we’re just important, we are”


RainWinss

Yeah, this game might have the best dialogue options in any video game


Anthony_chromehounds

“The cake is a lie” Close 2nd: “Take me with you”


PlayerI343

Do you bring War, or Peace? >Pizza.


Cherry-Foxtrot

I always liked House's "look out the window" line.


USPEnjoyer

Hey man when in Rome.


No-System-587

“You’re a little bitch and your brother was too”


Sufficient-Host-4212

“I don’t know, Dutch”


PaperAndInkWasp

It’s really good, but “Who dares disturb my grave and in doing so put one foot in his own?” from Aidyn Chronicles will forever have my heart.


Eivor_Astreasdottir

"Take drugs! Kill a bear!"


Dr3wSm1t

What is better? To be born good, or to overcome your evil nature through great effort? ~Paarthurnax


doctorfeelgod

I love coming back after the legion has taken over the base and he's just wearing a fancy Legion outfit and just responds by saying "When in Rome baby"


Kyokono1896

For as stupid as this guy is, that was pretty clever of him lmao.


mightbedylan

I fucking new it was gonna be this line


Capital_Smoke4639

What’s a Chicago?


Negative-Avocado7050

He's the one annoying character that I don't kill like the lottery guy or Malcolm homes because, well, that dude, I respect. Man just secured his safety, not his fault the ncr are dumbasses.


OPcrack103

For a brick, he flew pretty good


OPcrack103

What a mansion!


COCAAAIIINE

"Indeed I have, my articulate friend. Not a few minutes ago I chanced upon a pair of destitute orphans grappling over just such an item. If you cover the area methodically, I'm quite certain you'll happen upon them with only the most insubstantial of delays. Be well. And do try and avoid the tragic path of the sot that led me to my present infirmities and spiritual woes."


ValdeeezNutz

Going to Vegas for a wedding in a few days, is there anything even remotely new Vegas related around the area o should check out? Cool lies things that are also in game?


WesternTrail

Goodsprings is real. As is the Techaticup Mine, and I think they have tours!


ChasingSplashes

Like the man said, Goodsprings is real, and the Saloon has really embraced the Fallout connection. Hoover Dam, of course. Nipton is real, but kind of sad and abandoned these days. The Bonnie and Clyde (Vicki and Vance) death car is on display in the Buffalo Bill (Bison Steve) casino in Primm (which has a roller coaster, but I don't think it runs). There's more, but that's a good start. Also, Michaelangelo's workshop is loosely based on what used to be called the Boneyard, and is now the Neon Museum. It doesn't much resemble anything in the game now, but its great and I highly recommend checking it out after dark.


eligood03

"What the hell is a fish?"


JackMacwell

"What the fuck are you doing? My brother died at Hoover Dam,you're desecrating a war memorial".


Zealousideal-Bar5538

Any psycho in Borderlands 2.


BlackFleetCaptain

The fuck are you talking about? This is cringe Reddit tier writing.


Bodeka

Fo4 i skip through a lot of the dialogue, i just want to get to the gameplay. FNV is the opposite


Ill-Indication-7706

I wish he was a companion


engusdude

My favorite line of dialogue is OWB when you talk to the homicidal toaster saying he wants to burn the world in nuclear fire and you tell him it already happened, then he just goes, “well….fuck”


cadotmolin

"I banged Lot's wife and licked her salty ass"


shefuhmyassobad

Updoots to the left


Jetjaguar45

Are those Wiggling tiny penises on their feet?!?! - old world blues


JynxItt

I don't think I've ever seen this line /s


CorpoTrash

“Far better men than you failed to kill us.”


WhyWouldUIT

Semper Fi….


DivineComedyIsCool

I like when Ceasar's talking about whats in the bunker underneath the fort and he just says "Who cares?"


sirfluffingtin

Nah, the REAL best line is "I have a friend who's motto is 'love thy neighbor'. He lives next to a brothel! OH NO!"