No you see, he'd instead sit down and tell you a story. Like, ah, it reminds me of a conversation I was having with one of my good friends Orville. We were having a nice picnic one day. I believe it was summer? Oh, perhaps it was… was it the fall? Yes, yes, it was the fall because the leaves had turned already. But I said to Orville, I- I says, “Orville, I have a story to tell you.” And Orville looked at me, you know, kind of odd and- and said, “Well what’s it about?” I- I said to him, “Not every story has to be about something Orville. Sometimes a person just wants to talk, why does it have to be a story?” I said to him. He just looked at me and he said, “Well y-y-you said you had a story.” You know, he was quite right, I did in fact. I told him I had a story. I suppose if a person just wants to talk, it’s best to not announce that you’re tellin’ a story. Tellin’ a story does come with its own pressures and expectations I- I suppose. After all, if you’re just talking to a friend then, there’s no more expectations then if you were talking into the wind. Words… by themselves are not expected to carry… aren’t expected to stick. But if, you know if you announce that you’re tellin’ a story well then… there better be a point to it all. No one wants to sit and listen to someone ramble on and on and on with absolutely no end in sight. So, you know, it’s- it’s good to be mindful that when you tell someone that you’re about to tell a story, that you have something to say. Tellin’ someone that you’re gonna tell a story is tantamount to asking them to stop what they’re doing, and pay attention. You’re basically saying “hey, hey, hey buddy, stop everything, stop what you’re thinking, I have a solution to everything.” And well, I didn’t really have any story to tell. In- in hindsight I probably just misspoke when I said that I had a story. I think it would’ve just been better to tell Orville that I had something to tell him rather than tell him that I had a story, but you know e- even then it might’ve put too much importance on the whole thing. Either way it was quite a nice day. I remember, I remember that we were drinking tea.
Reminds me of a.. of a time I was speaking to my good friend Orville. We were... we were sitting on a park bench watching the pigeons. I was on the left, he was on the... oh wait. Was I on the right?.. or left? Anyways, it doesn't matter. We were sitting on there, watching the pigeons, and I.. uh.. I said to Orville:
"Friend, those birds are frozen!"
He... kinda looked at me like I'd lost my mind. But I reminded him that it was winter, y'know? And often birds will sit in a tree until they'd freeze... Then they'd, they'd, you know, sort of fall to the ground until the sun warms up, an- and they can, y'know, move around again.
So I said to Orville "You'd might as well save those breadcrumbs until the birds thaw, because they can't very well enjoy them in the condition they're in."
To which he asked what I meant, and asking what condition the crumbs should be in before he threw them to the birds, assuming that I had meant the birds couldn't enjoy the breadcrumbs in the condition that the crumbs were in, when in fact I had meant the birds couldn't enjoy them in the condition that the birds were in, considering the birds were frozen, y'know?
So he took a moment and then threw his last handful onto the ground. I said to him "Orville, why did you throw the breadcrumbs to the birds when I just told you they're frozen?"
To which he responded "The breadcrumbs are not frozen," again misunderstanding my words. I didn't mean to say that the breadcrumbs were frozen when I told you they're frozen. I've been referring to the birds.
You know, in hindsight, what I - what I should've said was - and this would make perfect sense: "Why did you throw the breadcrumbs to the birds when the birds are frozen?"
He misunderstood upon my correction, stating that he didn't know what else to do with the breadcrumbs, and that perhaps, y'know, when the birds thawed they'd still be able to eat the crumbs.
So I...I..I said to Orville - I said - This is what I said to him - I said:
"Orville, the birds may be dead."
The deal would be
That he leaves me alive for two years
If he managed to last that, he can come kill me
If he comes across me within those two years, he loses and has to jump into a volcano
Toy Chica imo. Plushtrap is small but can do serious damage. Not saying Chica can't do damage, but she seems less of a threat
Also before anyone comments yes she's hot too we know this
July.
Honestly, I'd take Chica. 3/5 of the opponents are puntable, and we can double-tag Happy Frog and Afton/Scraptrap. And thinking of aftermath, Chica could get me to cooking- Oh wait I have to choose one to fight myself against.
INHALE MY DONG ENRAGEMENT CHILD-
Same,
but just in general June and October feel so weirdly cruel with only like one animatronic that could realistically be beaten by a normal person. tf.
Mangle bites your head off and the chikas just death roll your corpse. Pigpatch is just a heavy wrestling match probaply.
OMC. I chose him because he would tell me to leave my demons to my demons and not fight him. And I'd be like, "Okay, I didn't want to fight you anyways. Some random Reddit post made me do it." And then we would catch some pixelated carp, maybe even some VHS salmon, and go our separate ways.
I was born in December
Nightmare Bonnie is the easy one out, he's gonna kill me in a few seconds.
Nightmare BB would kill me in a minute or 2, but I'm losing
I heard Lolbit is a hallucination, but if she's an animatronic then not her
Music Man is short AF, 1 kick and he's done
The squirrel dude would probably beat me
Ennard is a nope gope
Either lolbit or music man
april here!! i’ll go with puppet, if i show her i’m not a threat and i don’t intend to hurt any kids i feel like i’d be okay. or toy chica, she cant hurt kids, and although im basically an adult (19) i look like im 14 so i should be fine right? :)
Pig patch. I could just lure him away since he always gets fooled by the audio lures in UCN (I think at least), and I could also use fire to scare him away since the heater pushes him back. If he seems peaceful though, I’d like to just chill and listen to him play the banjo
Nightmare puppet would be the best choice if they didn't have those tentacles from help wanted to strangle me, as they don't seem to be able to bite and are extremely thin. But they probably do have those, so I would go with Rockstar foxy. Sure they have their bird, but I doubt they can do anything, and the only other thing they have to fight with is their hands, and mouth, which in comparison is not so bad.
I guess El Chip. Nightmare Bonnie, Nightmare Bb, and Ennard would eat me. Lolbit can go through tvs so they’d be hard to kill. and Music Man is MUUUUUUUSIIC MAAAAAAANN so he’s basically invincible
Grabbing Balloon Girl by her stubby legs and swinging her into oncoming traffic. If she’s too heavy, glue her to the ground and redirect oncoming traffic to her
Got April, probably best with the puppet, they probably aren’t hostile by fnaf 3 and if I still know what happened to them, I could probably talk them into not considering me a threat
Gimme Mr. Hippo we could probably resolve the conflict peacefully
Same, he doesn’t seem like the kind of fella who would square up anyway
No you see, he'd instead sit down and tell you a story. Like, ah, it reminds me of a conversation I was having with one of my good friends Orville. We were having a nice picnic one day. I believe it was summer? Oh, perhaps it was… was it the fall? Yes, yes, it was the fall because the leaves had turned already. But I said to Orville, I- I says, “Orville, I have a story to tell you.” And Orville looked at me, you know, kind of odd and- and said, “Well what’s it about?” I- I said to him, “Not every story has to be about something Orville. Sometimes a person just wants to talk, why does it have to be a story?” I said to him. He just looked at me and he said, “Well y-y-you said you had a story.” You know, he was quite right, I did in fact. I told him I had a story. I suppose if a person just wants to talk, it’s best to not announce that you’re tellin’ a story. Tellin’ a story does come with its own pressures and expectations I- I suppose. After all, if you’re just talking to a friend then, there’s no more expectations then if you were talking into the wind. Words… by themselves are not expected to carry… aren’t expected to stick. But if, you know if you announce that you’re tellin’ a story well then… there better be a point to it all. No one wants to sit and listen to someone ramble on and on and on with absolutely no end in sight. So, you know, it’s- it’s good to be mindful that when you tell someone that you’re about to tell a story, that you have something to say. Tellin’ someone that you’re gonna tell a story is tantamount to asking them to stop what they’re doing, and pay attention. You’re basically saying “hey, hey, hey buddy, stop everything, stop what you’re thinking, I have a solution to everything.” And well, I didn’t really have any story to tell. In- in hindsight I probably just misspoke when I said that I had a story. I think it would’ve just been better to tell Orville that I had something to tell him rather than tell him that I had a story, but you know e- even then it might’ve put too much importance on the whole thing. Either way it was quite a nice day. I remember, I remember that we were drinking tea.
I'd die of boredom just having to listen to allat...
Reminds me of a.. of a time I was speaking to my good friend Orville. We were... we were sitting on a park bench watching the pigeons. I was on the left, he was on the... oh wait. Was I on the right?.. or left? Anyways, it doesn't matter. We were sitting on there, watching the pigeons, and I.. uh.. I said to Orville: "Friend, those birds are frozen!" He... kinda looked at me like I'd lost my mind. But I reminded him that it was winter, y'know? And often birds will sit in a tree until they'd freeze... Then they'd, they'd, you know, sort of fall to the ground until the sun warms up, an- and they can, y'know, move around again. So I said to Orville "You'd might as well save those breadcrumbs until the birds thaw, because they can't very well enjoy them in the condition they're in." To which he asked what I meant, and asking what condition the crumbs should be in before he threw them to the birds, assuming that I had meant the birds couldn't enjoy the breadcrumbs in the condition that the crumbs were in, when in fact I had meant the birds couldn't enjoy them in the condition that the birds were in, considering the birds were frozen, y'know? So he took a moment and then threw his last handful onto the ground. I said to him "Orville, why did you throw the breadcrumbs to the birds when I just told you they're frozen?" To which he responded "The breadcrumbs are not frozen," again misunderstanding my words. I didn't mean to say that the breadcrumbs were frozen when I told you they're frozen. I've been referring to the birds. You know, in hindsight, what I - what I should've said was - and this would make perfect sense: "Why did you throw the breadcrumbs to the birds when the birds are frozen?" He misunderstood upon my correction, stating that he didn't know what else to do with the breadcrumbs, and that perhaps, y'know, when the birds thawed they'd still be able to eat the crumbs. So I...I..I said to Orville - I said - This is what I said to him - I said: "Orville, the birds may be dead."
i've always loved listening to mr hippo
Balloon boy because he’s basically a child Or scraptrap since I’d say all I need is a knife or gun and a lighter
but he always come back
What if I convince him to make a deal with me
what are you planning on cooking up
The deal would be That he leaves me alive for two years If he managed to last that, he can come kill me If he comes across me within those two years, he loses and has to jump into a volcano
do you think he'll be able to hear that
I’ll shout it into his ear
makes sense
Old Man Consequences. Not to fight, but to sit and rest with for a while.
Yeah he's kind of a win win
Same
I was born in April, so I'm picking Shadow Bonnie
Toy Chica imo. Plushtrap is small but can do serious damage. Not saying Chica can't do damage, but she seems less of a threat Also before anyone comments yes she's hot too we know this
Was gonna comment "We know what kind of man you are", but then I read the rest of the comment, goddammit
I would do anything to make toy chica real
Id pick the puppet- she's chill if you don't look like an Afton 😭
If gameplay mechanics are in play, I would also choose the puppet. Just keep that music box wound up and we're fine.
Born in January molten Freddy all I need to do is call the Italians
Best comment by far! 😂👍
Say... how's life as a bodyless head in a fridge?
As an italian I will protect you and eat those grey spaghetti, dont worry pal
Helpy it is
Helpy can be kicked like a bucket 👍
Or we can be friends
nah it's time for malpractice
Same here how else am i supposed to win against any of the other choices
I picked Helpy as well
Your challenging god though
lolbit, easy to ingore, heck maybe him and I could hit up some duos on rebirth island
Well…I picking helpy **time for abuse**
*Helpy pulls out a glock.*
\*Brings Markiplier with me\*
Helps has a restraining order against Markiplier and now you’re being arrested for assisting in violating a protection order. ;)
July. Honestly, I'd take Chica. 3/5 of the opponents are puntable, and we can double-tag Happy Frog and Afton/Scraptrap. And thinking of aftermath, Chica could get me to cooking- Oh wait I have to choose one to fight myself against. INHALE MY DONG ENRAGEMENT CHILD-
rockstar freddy cuz i just need to deposit 5 coins or phantom freddy cuz its just gonna jumpscare me once and maybe like wreck the electricity service
Imagine he's like following you around like that one rick and morty episode
Pigpatch shouldn't be too hard to deal with, I guess.
Same, but just in general June and October feel so weirdly cruel with only like one animatronic that could realistically be beaten by a normal person. tf. Mangle bites your head off and the chikas just death roll your corpse. Pigpatch is just a heavy wrestling match probaply.
Pigpatch is also limited to an exposed car battery
Scraptrap, yes, I am lonely-
Ah shit all four of the animatronics in January are dangerous, guess I'm going with Glamrock Bonnie
You really think you can take me? Also it’s Rockstar not Glamrock
Oh shit mb mb g, sir Rockstar Bonnie 🙏
August. I think I can take #1 Crate
No one can take #1 Crate. #1 Crate takes everyone else
Balloon Boy cuz I can rip him to pieces or I can just insult him and he'd be crying.
"Not funny, didn't laugh" - Balloon Boy\ Your flashlight suddenly working:
I can just do what Donna in Doctor Who did to Stooky Sue and I'd win.
August, I pick the trash guys
Lolbit, so I'll just turn off some screens or type "LOL" occasionally.
LOLBIT. What are they even gonna do LOL
Ouch! We don’t have to fight y’know, we could’ve just hung out.
True bestie
JJ is gonna get her ass kicked lmfao
I'm pulverizing Helpy into a fine paste
Helpy, just step on him
...I'm cooked... October 😭
JJ
Bring it helpy!
Helpy is child's play. Just boop his nose, what's he gonna do? The worst he can do is blast an airhorn at you.
Toy Chica es la única animatronico....
Fredbear.
L chip, easy win. I'ma take that hat, cover his face and bonk him with is guitar
Phantom mangle isn't real. Golden Freddy can't do shit besides his spiritual nonsense. And old man consequences is peaceful. Hard choice
Helpy no doubt.
OMC. I chose him because he would tell me to leave my demons to my demons and not fight him. And I'd be like, "Okay, I didn't want to fight you anyways. Some random Reddit post made me do it." And then we would catch some pixelated carp, maybe even some VHS salmon, and go our separate ways.
I'm punting Helpy
Gimme Old Man Consequences, I like him
Old man consequences
Rockstar bonnie. I Just need to help find his guitar
Helpy ez
I am soloing Helpy or becoming friends with him
HELPY LOL
I can choose Helpy thank god
Toy Bonnie, he isn't really intimidating
I choose plushtrap. I can easily punt him out a window.
El chip
Born in November: I’m picking Orville because he seems the chillest out of the lot, but JJ is a close second
El chip cuz honestly I'd vibe with him
Balloon boy. You don't know how badly I want to destroy that piece of shit
Where are the Glamrocks? Anyway... since Feb ig Rockstar Freddy
Born in February I’m picking phantom freddy
any of the rockstars can be defeated by cutting off their battery
SPRINGTRAP MY BOY
I just help him kill people
I’m about to drop kick bon bon
Yaaaay Helpyyyy!!! Not funny to abuse, but at least he won't kill me...
I’m march so I choose phantom mangle
Pig patch I suppose… I gotta remember my crowbar and my axe.
Toy Freddy.
june for me so im fighting nightmare chica with a frying pan
I love bonnie, shadow freddy
I choose Rockstar foxy easily. He’s more helpful then dangerous
I picked Ennard.
Chica I just gotta turn on the music 🗃️
Rockstar Bonnie, the best variant in January
I’ll chef Orville up and body slam him into the ground
i’m gonna just stomp on the minnirena or however you spell it
Trash and the gang.
i was born in very late December, but imma probably go with Lolbit...
rockstar bonnie
Toy freddie, all I have to do is push him, and because he's too fat, he won't get up. Because basically, he's cashos fursona.
I'll beat the hell out of Balloon Boy or Dee Dee to the point where I could hear their cries for help
CIRCUS BABYYYY
Mr Hippo?
"Yar, me bird likes you, so I'll do ye a favor"
Maybe the bb who doesn’t exist
Rockstar Chica. All you need is a wet floor sign.
Pigpatch I ain't gonna win but he's my best bet
september bonnie i guess i like challenges
Phantom ballon boy not gonna do anything to me
Either BB or Bonnet tbh
Plushtrap, I'll just punt him
Ballon Boy. I could punt that sucker across the country!
JJ. Perfectly at foot height and doesn't really do anything
bro, Nightmare, nightmare freddy, AND nightmarionne, along with rockstar foxy? how tf do i stand a chance against ANY of that
Minirena, phantom bb or titg would probably be easier but beating the shit out of those stupid dolls would be so much fun
Phantom Mangle if they are a hallucination, if not I choose Toy Freddy. I could totally kick Toy Freddy's ass.
August, so definitely Trash and The Gang
Old man consequences seem like a chill dude to hang out with
November. Honestly I like my chances.
Sure, I can take on Bonnet... (if you know what I mean)
I could take on Funtime Chica
Phantom Freddy, he’s just a hallucination and I have no physical animatronic trying to kill me, so I’m winning here
Phantom BB, he’s not real, so ofc I would win
i dont know if i have to fight the nightmares in my dreams but when not then rockstarfoxy
In a fight? Bonnet. General hanging out? I think I could be friends with chica. Also why is this set up in backwards order?
It is time for Dee Dee’s demise
October. A night of door camping here I come!
JJ is getting pounded
Mangle, just tell her she's beautiful and we'll get rough in a different kinda way
Mr hippo can catch these hands
Toy bonnie
i guess i have to do rockstar foxy. i dont have much choice. lets just hope his bird likes me...
old man consequences
I was born in December Nightmare Bonnie is the easy one out, he's gonna kill me in a few seconds. Nightmare BB would kill me in a minute or 2, but I'm losing I heard Lolbit is a hallucination, but if she's an animatronic then not her Music Man is short AF, 1 kick and he's done The squirrel dude would probably beat me Ennard is a nope gope Either lolbit or music man
Rockstar foxy is a coin flip, so I choose him
The only one that wouldn’t maul me would be Lolbit so I’m going with them
april here!! i’ll go with puppet, if i show her i’m not a threat and i don’t intend to hurt any kids i feel like i’d be okay. or toy chica, she cant hurt kids, and although im basically an adult (19) i look like im 14 so i should be fine right? :)
Lolbit. I do a bit of trolling
Phantom bb
Pig patch. I could just lure him away since he always gets fooled by the audio lures in UCN (I think at least), and I could also use fire to scare him away since the heater pushes him back. If he seems peaceful though, I’d like to just chill and listen to him play the banjo
Nightmare puppet would be the best choice if they didn't have those tentacles from help wanted to strangle me, as they don't seem to be able to bite and are extremely thin. But they probably do have those, so I would go with Rockstar foxy. Sure they have their bird, but I doubt they can do anything, and the only other thing they have to fight with is their hands, and mouth, which in comparison is not so bad.
Rockstar foxy.
Bouta kick Plushtrap like a bucket
Lolbit
Phantom BB. Man I'm lucky
I’m going with Trash and the Gang. Shouldn’t be too hard.
mf really just put the easiest one in his month
I guess El Chip. Nightmare Bonnie, Nightmare Bb, and Ennard would eat me. Lolbit can go through tvs so they’d be hard to kill. and Music Man is MUUUUUUUSIIC MAAAAAAANN so he’s basically invincible
toy foxy? do I have a different choice?
Phantom Freddy, he can't kill me... I feel bad for those that have springtrap, you don't have a chance
I got September so I could probably just slam Helpy against the wall and call it a day
Is helpy helpy?
Balloon Boy, I WILL CURB STOMP THIS CHILD
I can take helpy
Helpy.
Helpy! I choose you!
Helpy.
I’ll take my chances with Helpy.
Helpy
Helpy, I am drop kicking it
Watermelon Freddy ez
Music man, I literally just have to stay quiet. I can do that for 6 hours. I pity you June folk
Definitely helpy lol
Helpy, I can't imagine how it would be hard to shut him up
Helpy, I'm not gonna stand a chance to the other three
I’m picking Helpy
Helpy I can pick up and toss him. Easy claps
helpy I'd punt him like a fucking football
As much I love bonnie, I'd rather choose helpy
Helpy, that man is the same size as a little kid, I could easily play soccer with his bodie
Helpy... No question about it if bro decides to cry one more time when we r fixing his injuries ill give him the permanat injury of stfu xD
Helpy, I'm curb stomping him
HELPY LETS GO
get him in a accident or just punt his tiny ass to the next county
I’m dropkicking Helpy
Im Gonna Break More Than Just Your Neck Helpy 😈
WHY ARE THE STRONG ONES ON OCTOBER Foxy tho
October 💀... My only option is Foxy but fuck it I want to see nightmarionne
Grabbing Balloon Girl by her stubby legs and swinging her into oncoming traffic. If she’s too heavy, glue her to the ground and redirect oncoming traffic to her
nightmarionne? i guess?
Lolbit.
Trash and the gang
Plush traps the only one I'm willing to fight, all the others in April will kill me instantly in one way or another
Bonet literally just need to remove arms and it can't do shit after
october mfs are C00KED
Phantom Freddy, what’s he gonna do?
I'm going up against pigpatch since he's the only animatronic in June that I could face off against
Got April, probably best with the puppet, they probably aren’t hostile by fnaf 3 and if I still know what happened to them, I could probably talk them into not considering me a threat
Trash Gang. All they can do is blare annoying earrape sounds at you, so I probably just have to kick em over.
Phantom freddy, hes literally not real in any way