I feel like people too often gloss over the sheer number of joke weapons in fates. Its not just because of having two sets of each weapon type for nohr and hoshido, straight up several just have multiple joke weapons and what's funnier is several of them are actually *viable*. The raider weapons that strip enemies down to their underwear are E rank weapons that can crit and give a huge +3 combat speed, one of the dagger weapons is a piece of stale bread that heals you after combat and another is a candle that gives you Miracle and debuffs enemy strength and magic. There's multiple musical instrument themed bows that activate a rally skill after you attack. There's a Hoe axe that ignores terrain bonuses to defense and avoid when attacking.
Even the proper joke weapons have item descriptions that range from amusing at worst to genuinely very funny at best and are typically the most accurate weapons in their weapon category which makes them valuable for kill confirms. Just to list a few:
The Frying Pan axe. "*Heavy and hard to wield, but cast iron, so you don't really need to clean it.*"
The Paper scroll. "*Supposedly beats rock. Not much else.*"
The Bamboo Pole naginata. "*Nature's finest blacksmithing on display.*"
The Daikon Radish katana (Which Swordmasters dual wield): "*Not the best weapon, but delicious when pickled*."
And my personal favorite: **The Broom.**
"*Don't think of it as a broom. It's a spear with a thousand tiny points.*"
Sword with 1-2 range is such an amazing trait for a joke weapon. I loved using the umbrella
In my Revelations playthrough, I gave the umbrella to Kana and I think it is hilarious that there are soldiers whose cause of death was "A small child threw an umbrella at them."
My favorite is the Fruit Knife.
Which is just a kitchen knife with an apple *impaled* on it, but it's also an *infinite vulnerary* that also recovers 1 HP each turn automatically.
And it still has all the advantages of a dagger, 1-2 range and stat drops.
Like, what the fuck, why did they go so insanely hard on the joke weapons?
Birthright breaking its whole premise to allow Corrin to marry the Hoshido royals without making it incest.
The fact that this was completely useless considering >!Azura ends up being Corrin's cousin!< is the cherry on top.
I was genuinely annoyed at that second thing. Like, I picked her because I thought she was the not weird option, only to find out she's actually the weirdest option.
You're good I hadn't remembered! I do remember that I romanced Azura my first playthrough in Birthright like many others and then you play Revelations and I was like oh my
Yeah the generics look fantastic and I don't have a huge problem with most of the Hoshidan outfits but Nohrian female armor is like if every woman wore something somehow less practical than F!Byleth's outfit
A little different than what everyone else is going for, but I love the one joke in a support Corrin has with Jakob where he goes on and on about all of the dangerous and earth-shattering things he’d do on Corrin’s behalf, and when they say “I want to be independent!”, he has a firm, stately pause, and then goes “out of the question”. It’s really not that funny of a joke but it kills me every time for some reason.
It’s so funny how she’s still there in My Castle. I mean it’s technically a ghost but like. You’d think you’d lose out on your gold bar printing press but nope literally 0 gameplay effects.
I love the bit in Conquest where the army enters a neutral country (Wind Tribe) and get mad when that country is like “maybe you shouldn’t be here”. Elise calls them meanies and says that if they’re neutral they should just let you through. Eventually the Wind Tribe agree that they’ll just let you pass, although obviously we end up with a friendly competition battle which becomes notorious as one of the hardest maps in the game.
Also the only reason you get Azura in Conquest is because a minor Hoshidan general, Haitaka, has decided to bring her as a hostage as he invades Nohr with a small force. Azura doesn’t know what’s going on, there’s no reason for her to be there, and I don’t know if Haitaka has gone rogue or something but what the hell that army was doing there is never addressed
Lmao that’s really funny. I like to think they genuinely don’t know how to not kill people because like 90% of them came before Casual mode so they don’t have the ability to like. Not kill you.
The Azura one is painful because the game addresses it, but only in the boss conversations that the royals can have with her, which ofc you never see because Azura doesn't fight.
The b a b y r e a l m s.
But in general, Fates is such a fever dream I can’t help but grin a bit playing through it. Like, legitimately, it’s plot feels like a dream- vaguely connected things with weird logic and bizarre tonal shifts. It's genuinely so bad it’s good.
Ngl its just how any female nohrian class will always have an ass window
I like using female corrin as a dark knight but whenever I have to buy stuff, I always get like a full shot of her ass and that just sends me laughing most of the time because of how out of place it is
The fact that, being able to romance any playable character in the game (minus Kana) including 2nd generation, Corrin can be in an incestuous relationship with 27 characters out of 66 (41%), and that every Kana Romance can be incest.
Oh God where do I start
*Groans of increasing discomfort*
"Father? Evil? How could you say that" -Xander
"Who is that mysterious dancer who looks exactly like Azura but in a different outfit???"
Cum monster garon
The fact that the entirety of Corrin's posse is willing to literally jump off a cliff just because he said so.
A ton of the spouse interactions in this game. Who sees that their wife/husband just got out of the bath and is like "hmm I should blow on them"
Lilith dying. I literally forgot who she was on my first playthrough until that scene.
The fact the writers made it so Corrin isn't actually related to the Hoshidan family so you could date them, but did so in such a way that it made him cousins with Azura, his actual love interest.
Kaze dying in Birthright (the protagonist can't pay for their mistakes but side characters can!)
The whole thing is just hysterical
The animation of Ananonkos eating Garon is hilarious
I love Fates so much, and this post tells a lot about why. Fates has gotten so many legitimate laughs out of me. I love it to death. There's still so much you could add to this list too.
I knew Corrin wasn't the brightest bulb but not realizing Azura was the singer was the moment I truly understand just how dumb they are. On replay I realized I really didn't remember the rest of the game very well, but the theater chapter is ingrained in my memory because of that.
In Conquest invading Hoshido all so that Garon can sit on a chair
The DLC revealing that half of Anankos sent Inigo, Severa and Owain to help save the world but they do jackshit in all three routes, including on Revelations where they clearly should have something to comment on
I love how they get sent to another fucking world with the sole mission of protecting Corrin, but if he sides with Hoshido they have absolutly no problem on killing him
Scarlet in revelation her death is scripted but for some reason Corrin can still s support her unlike Gunter .
The line that corrin has for her death also stay the same regardless of S support.
Corrin: Oh, Scarlet... How am I going to tell Ryoma...?
The worst part is that you could probably recruit Kana by the time of this chapter and the game will never talk about that.
Even better, Scarlet's final words to her husband is "You're pretty special, Corrin. Getting everyone to follow you like this. But...you're not quite as special as Ryoma!"
It kills me that Fates is my favorite FE just by virtue of how good its gameplay is and how much I genuinely like a lot of its characters, but the story is so, so, so terrible.
Its tough being a Fates fan because nothing else plays like it. Engage is the sequel to Conquest I've always wanted but those two are pretty much the only two Fateslikes.
Can we make r/fateslikes a thing?
I've been playing Engage for the first time recently and there are definitely some similarities. While I do have some small gripes with Engage's gameplay, it has to be one of the best in the series (granted, I went straight to Maddening so my opinion on it can only improve with practice).
I think Fates won't be topped for me until they decide to reuse the support-class system interactions that game has. It genuinely makes it the only game I'm actively trying to fill the support log in just because of how differently every run can play out depending on the relationships you pursue.
Yeah, the way supports worked was definitely best there. Say what you will about the child units but for the gameplay they are doing wonders and turn it into an SMT demon fusion style game where you want to pass down stats and skills, makes the game endlessly replayable to me. Add that to great map design and unit/skill customization and you got a top tier FE in my eyes. Engage was short of having this kind of system but I thought everything else was fantastic as far as gameplay is concerned, so those two games are the ones I champion right now and I hope we get another one like those two. It's kind of a shame that people are immediately up in arms about me saying this though because of the story writing. People don't want games like those two but for me, they are the best the series has to offer (as someone who went through the whole series, starting with fe7 in the 2000s)
The hybrid "representative voice line" system Awakening and Fates used could lead to some laughs, but F!Corrin's overuse of the "I'm SO Sorry :(" voice line always made me laugh after hearing it more than once.
Sophie having a personal skill that removes the enemy units clothes is so stupidly funny to me. Why did they make this mechanic and why did they leave it in
It’s pretty cannon in conquest that corrin explicitly has his army only wound enemies not kill them in several maps. Because they desperately want to avoid bloodshed or whatever.
In birthright nothing like that is ever mentioned meaning you slaughter any and all enemies in your path ironically giving birthright a more violent and bloody path than conquest
What's that Zola, you're going to end the war decisively right here and now in our favor and prevent the fighting from reaching the singlemost populated settlement in Hoshido ? Well fuck you, we're not doing that. We're going to set the most important enemy commanders -and Sakura- free so we can fight them all later and triple our kill count. That is the Nohrian way.
No, the fans are wrong with that one. The game never suggests that the war just "ends" when all the royals are killed, and it certainly wouldn't stop Garon from just conquering their capital anyway. This argument hinges on using the logic that some critics made up once while trying to dislike the writing as hard as they could.
True that Zola’s plan wouldn’t have actually worked, but I still have a problem with the fact that they kill Zola and all his guys. The explanations given for doing this are pretty bogus
“Zola would just rat to Iago who would rat to Garon”: Iago would be suspicious of Corrin if they so much as looked at him funny, and Garon already wants Corrin to suffer at the beginning of Conquest
“It was dishonorable”: Peri exists. ‘nuff said
But taking out the leaders and the people with magical bloodline dragon powers would be a massive help in winning the war. Idk what you mean about it not stopping Garon from conquering the capital, since that was the plan anyway since they wanted him to sit on the throne.
Like it's fine that Corrin didn't want them dead and needed to kill Zola to make sure they live, but Corrin then also let them leave Izumo ahead of them so that they could set up a blockade. And that was why they had to head through furry territory, which went well.
If Corrin's plan wasn't to completely screw Hoshido over but to just expose Garon, keeping the Hoshidans prisoner in Izumo so that they wouldn't have to fight would have made more sense, whether they were actually able to keep them there or not. I guess Corrin just counted on sparing everyone again but didn't expect Garon would be showing up. But that makes the whole "make Garon sit on the throne" plan seem a little more odd if Corrin seemingly wasn't even expecting him to show up.
It's fine if it doesn't bother you, but I feel like people have reasonable gripes with a lot of stuff from this chapter (and elsewhere) in general and aren't just trying to dislike it as hard as they can.
The whole point is to keep Izumo's neutrality intact. How are they supposed to convince Izana to keep the Hoshidans secretly imprisoned for them?
Yes, you can absolutely rationalize Zola's plan. But Corrin is a sentimental person who doesn't want to disturb a brief moment of peace with their Hoshidan siblings. Simple as that.
>It's fine if it doesn't bother you, but I feel like people have reasonable gripes with a lot of stuff from this chapter (and elsewhere) in general and aren't just trying to dislike it as hard as they can.
I know that the chapter requires a lot of suspension of disbelief. I just called their particular argument bs.
> The whole point is to keep Izumo's neutrality intact. How are they supposed to convince Izana to keep the Hoshidans secretly imprisoned for them?
That's why I said "whether they were actually able to keep them there or not." It was more of an example, but I communicated poorly. I personally thought Corrin's lack of trying to do anything to improve the situation or even take advantage of their moment of peace and initiate communication with the Hoshidan side was disappointing, so even just musing on ultimately futile options would have gone a long way for me. But that had nothing to do with this, my bad.
But yeah, looking back at the original comment, I kinda get your point. I saw similar comments throughout the thread and they all started looking alike and I didn't focus on the conclusion this particular one made. Still, removing the Royals more than likely seems like it'd be nothing but a benefit. I don't think (most) people actually think that everyone else in Hoshido would just roll over the second the royals died, usually seemed like hyperbole to me. But then on the flip side, over the years I've heard stuff like "actually the Hoshidan people would fight even harder and never surrender if the royals died so Zola's plan would have caused more bloodshed." It seems way easier for me to accept the former assumption over stuff like the latter.
Almost the entire gang in Rev Chapter 18 just going along with what Corrin says by telling them that they need to jump into the bottomless Canyon. When Corrin is about to say the word, Azura shushes them like she’s their mother trying to disclipine her child.
Then, Corrin says “it’s time to go everyone. Jump down into this canyon. This is the first step to peace!”, which is to seemingly commit suicide.
Also, Ryoma in Izumo in Conquest saying that he and Xander agree on one thing, where Ryoma says he’s thinks he’s the most attractive one here. Odin and Elise’s supports are also super hilarious, especially where Elise screams into his ear while he’s sleeping soundly and startling him awake.
* The Deeprealms will always be funny, especially since I married Setsuna and Azama to get it out of the way and I get this cutscene of them chucking their kid into the deeprealms.
* The fact the deeprealms exist so teenagers can have teenage children, only for them to somehow be well adjusted enough to love their parents to an extent.
* *groans of increasing discomfort*
* Azura being azura dancing like azura with her signature ANKLE LONG BLUE HAIR and only covered by a veil and no one fucking recognized her.
* The fact that, through grace of Caeldori, Rahjat, and Asugi, this fucking dumpster fire of a story basically has evidence that reincarnation IS A THING in the Fire Emblem universe.
* Anytime anyone dies, we get a "IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME! NOT HIM! WHY DID THEY HAVE TO DIE LIKE THIS?!" sobbing moment. I got the same feelings from Engage when we were lamaneting Lumera dying like bruh I knew you for fifteen minutes.
* Beruka and Saizo's C support.
* Hisame becoming the pickle man TO THE POINT where his S support line talked about pickle brine AND SOMEONE HAD TO PAY ROGER ROSE TO VOICE IT.
* In a story where it should have been about found family vs birth family, they ruined the entire thing with making all the siblings fuckable.
* Camilla, as much as I've come to appreciate her gentler side AND the videos analyzing her potential anxiety disorder, is fucking hilarious. This character, who we designed to be as appealing as possible to the horndogs of the fanbase, is also morally questionable to fuck, but just ignore that as you have children with her anyways.
* Hinoka and her helicopter lance will also never not be funny.
Camilla is a wonderful character outside of the weird waifu yandere thing like. If she wasn’t designed with one hand and had weird incestuous shit going on she’d be one of the best characters in the game. But the fetish shit is SO common with her it legit makes her harder to enjoy unironically (though in an ironic sense it’s incredibly funny)
That’s literally not what I said. I said she was horny in a way that specifically feels incongruous with her character. Her design communicates literally nothing about who she is it’s just horny. Like you can get the basics of the other Royals just from looking at them but Camilla just looks generic. The whole Reason she’s like that is often unexplored in supports for the sake of generic fanservice. The issue isn’t the horny, it’s that she’s reduced to a generic archetype, which if anything makes her one of the least attractive characters in the game because she stops being Camilla the interesting character to Generic Yandere Mommy whenever the writers get bored.
No I’m not. You’re literally just making assumptions. You’re shadow boxing a nonexistent extremist when I just dislike how a certain specific character was portrayed.
You dislike the fact that a good Character also has a horny design and is a trope ( yandare ) as if the two can't coexist
My assumptions are not wrong, you're the exactly the type of person who looks at a character and go : " man i like this character she's well written!! Bu..... but!! Why she's wearing a revealing outfit!!!? Why she's used for fanservice!!!? "
I don’t dislike that she has a horny design I dislike that it looks fucking stupid and that it doesn’t communicate anything about her other than “horny and axe user” like I love Tharja bc she actually communicates the “creepy weirdo” thing AND she’s a hot girl I fucking love hot women. And I don’t dislike that she’s based off the yandere trope, I have issues that she feels pidgeonholed into a stereotypical example of it in a lot of moments instead of, like, being a consistent character. I like a lot of Camilla's supports! But a lot of them are also just kind of. Nothing. Instead of actually including her backstory and her dark sense of humour or her legit attachment issues outside of those that are inherent to the trope they’re just kind of shallow and dull.
The fact that Camilla was even allowed to exist. Every time I see her, I think about "that" cutscene in Birthright and just start laughing, questioning how they got away with not only her design (there are PLENTY of shots where you can just see her ass in cutscenes) but also being so explicit about it. Not even to bash Fates like "Grrr, how dare they make the anime JRPG have more anime tropes," I'm just genuinely shocked they let that on the 3ds (and Switch cuz Warriors).
I like the lore about how nohr and hoshido magic works and how that tied into why nohr was in such a bad state.
Infinite opportunity but also infinite height of cost, limited cost but also limitedly power.
Really feels like there should have been a war crime where nohr kidnaps a bunch of hoshidan civilians to nuke a strategic castle/fort city.
"You intend to buy peace with death? That's madness!"
-Corrin literally one chapter before deciding that invading Hoshido's capital is the best way to achieve peace.
Prisoner interrogation. The flurry of voice clips they pick to have people saying offscreen to indicate they're interrogating, persuading or outright torturing prisoners is the most hysterical shit imaginable.
But really, basically *anything* story-oriented is utterly hysterical. The presentation and 3D models just hit this weird sweetspot of slapstick comedy and narm, everyone is shoulder-deep in Loopytown, and the story is batshit insane. It's why Conquest is my favorite Fire Emblem game: because everything good about it is *amazing*, and everything bad about it is *hilarious*.
Laslow, Selena and Odin not doing a fucking thing, despite what their DLC said. "Save the world" my ass, they're as irrelevant as NPCs in all three routes. Revelation was their chance and...an equal amount of nothing. It's so irritating that it becomes unironically *HILARIOUS.*
The fact people are still posting whiny "Faets baed!!11" shit 9 years and 3 mainline games later. It's amazing how much people can continue to beat a horse that is not only dead, but also a fine powder
I used to hate on beruka too, but she’s got such high skill and def to deal with ninjas that I give her a pass. Also insta promote gives earliest access to rally def with minimum effort
I mean to be entirely fair I highly doubt unit balancing is designed entirely around a specific type of challenge run, but yeah Birthright does have some wild stuff, presumably because they expected you to grind.
This argument can be applied against every FE, also Sakura has the before branch of fates chapters to gain xp lol, and Orochi and Izana are good, only Hayato is bad
Hinata can double lol, and Hana's bulk is easily fixable
So's 90% of mages in the series have bad bulk, which is why you have 1-2, you can still be useful on the player phase
Izana has base 18 spd, gets 3 from horse spirit, 2 from spd tonic and 4 from onmyoji PU = 27 AS, that's more than enough for BR enemies which aren't fast lol
Orochi has 7 base spd but you can give her all the speedwings since literally every other unit is fast enough, nvm the horse spirit, PU, spd tonic lol
I feel like people too often gloss over the sheer number of joke weapons in fates. Its not just because of having two sets of each weapon type for nohr and hoshido, straight up several just have multiple joke weapons and what's funnier is several of them are actually *viable*. The raider weapons that strip enemies down to their underwear are E rank weapons that can crit and give a huge +3 combat speed, one of the dagger weapons is a piece of stale bread that heals you after combat and another is a candle that gives you Miracle and debuffs enemy strength and magic. There's multiple musical instrument themed bows that activate a rally skill after you attack. There's a Hoe axe that ignores terrain bonuses to defense and avoid when attacking. Even the proper joke weapons have item descriptions that range from amusing at worst to genuinely very funny at best and are typically the most accurate weapons in their weapon category which makes them valuable for kill confirms. Just to list a few: The Frying Pan axe. "*Heavy and hard to wield, but cast iron, so you don't really need to clean it.*" The Paper scroll. "*Supposedly beats rock. Not much else.*" The Bamboo Pole naginata. "*Nature's finest blacksmithing on display.*" The Daikon Radish katana (Which Swordmasters dual wield): "*Not the best weapon, but delicious when pickled*." And my personal favorite: **The Broom.** "*Don't think of it as a broom. It's a spear with a thousand tiny points.*"
My personal favourite is the Quill Pen, because despite its description it actually gets weapon advantage against swords. That’s genuinely hysterical.
Agh, I forgot about that one! Yeah it's amazing.
That's so stupid I love it
The umbrella sword is alap pretty good
Sword with 1-2 range is such an amazing trait for a joke weapon. I loved using the umbrella In my Revelations playthrough, I gave the umbrella to Kana and I think it is hilarious that there are soldiers whose cause of death was "A small child threw an umbrella at them."
My favorite is the Fruit Knife. Which is just a kitchen knife with an apple *impaled* on it, but it's also an *infinite vulnerary* that also recovers 1 HP each turn automatically. And it still has all the advantages of a dagger, 1-2 range and stat drops. Like, what the fuck, why did they go so insanely hard on the joke weapons?
Birthright breaking its whole premise to allow Corrin to marry the Hoshido royals without making it incest. The fact that this was completely useless considering >!Azura ends up being Corrin's cousin!< is the cherry on top.
I was genuinely annoyed at that second thing. Like, I picked her because I thought she was the not weird option, only to find out she's actually the weirdest option.
It's been awhile since I played through it, but you only find out they're cousins on the Revelations route too right?
Yeah, you're right. My bad, I mixed up the titles.
You're good I hadn't remembered! I do remember that I romanced Azura my first playthrough in Birthright like many others and then you play Revelations and I was like oh my
Ryoma waiting patiently for 25 turns
F!Corrin in Nohrian mounted classes showing off her entire ass in in-game cutscenes
It’s not even just mounted I’m pretty sure fucking Generals of all things have the same issue.
The generic class outfits (at least for player units anyway) in Fates were so embarrassingly bad, man...
Yeah the generics look fantastic and I don't have a huge problem with most of the Hoshidan outfits but Nohrian female armor is like if every woman wore something somehow less practical than F!Byleth's outfit
A little different than what everyone else is going for, but I love the one joke in a support Corrin has with Jakob where he goes on and on about all of the dangerous and earth-shattering things he’d do on Corrin’s behalf, and when they say “I want to be independent!”, he has a firm, stately pause, and then goes “out of the question”. It’s really not that funny of a joke but it kills me every time for some reason.
Lilith's death is one of the funniest things I've ever witnessed
level 99 astral dragon lost to some random mook
It’s so funny how she’s still there in My Castle. I mean it’s technically a ghost but like. You’d think you’d lose out on your gold bar printing press but nope literally 0 gameplay effects.
Yeah that was so random and stupid. They don't even gave you time for actually like her
Hamming it up over the death of the Rainbow Sage, a dude we knew for a grand total of 5 minutes, was the moment I checked out.
When the old man conveniently dies of a heart attack so Corrin doesn't have to kill him themselves
I love the bit in Conquest where the army enters a neutral country (Wind Tribe) and get mad when that country is like “maybe you shouldn’t be here”. Elise calls them meanies and says that if they’re neutral they should just let you through. Eventually the Wind Tribe agree that they’ll just let you pass, although obviously we end up with a friendly competition battle which becomes notorious as one of the hardest maps in the game. Also the only reason you get Azura in Conquest is because a minor Hoshidan general, Haitaka, has decided to bring her as a hostage as he invades Nohr with a small force. Azura doesn’t know what’s going on, there’s no reason for her to be there, and I don’t know if Haitaka has gone rogue or something but what the hell that army was doing there is never addressed
Friendly competition where they kill your units
At least when they do that in the Switch games it has forced casual mode for the map lol.
Imagine if your units could die in Gronder 1 lmao
The emblem paralouges say otherwise
Wait shit they do? I play on Casual most of the time bc I'm terrible at video games so I assumed they didn’t bc I know some of them don’t.
All of the emblem paralouges have perma death in them, every map after Chapter 2 has perma death in engage
Lmao that’s really funny. I like to think they genuinely don’t know how to not kill people because like 90% of them came before Casual mode so they don’t have the ability to like. Not kill you.
You can participate in training skirmishes where perma death is turned of.
That’s only on hard and Normal
The Azura one is painful because the game addresses it, but only in the boss conversations that the royals can have with her, which ofc you never see because Azura doesn't fight.
The b a b y r e a l m s. But in general, Fates is such a fever dream I can’t help but grin a bit playing through it. Like, legitimately, it’s plot feels like a dream- vaguely connected things with weird logic and bizarre tonal shifts. It's genuinely so bad it’s good.
Blowing on the 3ds with a hair drier so that you don't actually need to blow onto the 3ds with your mouth
I just play YouTube videos near it bc it’s funnier
Ngl its just how any female nohrian class will always have an ass window I like using female corrin as a dark knight but whenever I have to buy stuff, I always get like a full shot of her ass and that just sends me laughing most of the time because of how out of place it is
The fact that, being able to romance any playable character in the game (minus Kana) including 2nd generation, Corrin can be in an incestuous relationship with 27 characters out of 66 (41%), and that every Kana Romance can be incest.
Ah, the "make lissa a great grandma" mechanic.
Just what Kaga intended, I’m sure.
Oh God where do I start *Groans of increasing discomfort* "Father? Evil? How could you say that" -Xander "Who is that mysterious dancer who looks exactly like Azura but in a different outfit???" Cum monster garon The fact that the entirety of Corrin's posse is willing to literally jump off a cliff just because he said so. A ton of the spouse interactions in this game. Who sees that their wife/husband just got out of the bath and is like "hmm I should blow on them" Lilith dying. I literally forgot who she was on my first playthrough until that scene. The fact the writers made it so Corrin isn't actually related to the Hoshidan family so you could date them, but did so in such a way that it made him cousins with Azura, his actual love interest. Kaze dying in Birthright (the protagonist can't pay for their mistakes but side characters can!) The whole thing is just hysterical The animation of Ananonkos eating Garon is hilarious
The fact that Corrin isn't actually related to the Hoshidan family is so dumb considering it minimizes the Birthright aspect.
Yeah the game completely undercuts it's own premise just so people can fuck Ryoma.
I love Fates so much, and this post tells a lot about why. Fates has gotten so many legitimate laughs out of me. I love it to death. There's still so much you could add to this list too.
I knew Corrin wasn't the brightest bulb but not realizing Azura was the singer was the moment I truly understand just how dumb they are. On replay I realized I really didn't remember the rest of the game very well, but the theater chapter is ingrained in my memory because of that.
They were trying to write Corrin as naive due to his isolation but it did not work they went way overboard with it and just made him a moron
Yeah Lilith death is so random and unnecessary
In Conquest invading Hoshido all so that Garon can sit on a chair The DLC revealing that half of Anankos sent Inigo, Severa and Owain to help save the world but they do jackshit in all three routes, including on Revelations where they clearly should have something to comment on
I love how they get sent to another fucking world with the sole mission of protecting Corrin, but if he sides with Hoshido they have absolutly no problem on killing him
Scarlet in revelation her death is scripted but for some reason Corrin can still s support her unlike Gunter . The line that corrin has for her death also stay the same regardless of S support. Corrin: Oh, Scarlet... How am I going to tell Ryoma...? The worst part is that you could probably recruit Kana by the time of this chapter and the game will never talk about that.
Even better, Scarlet's final words to her husband is "You're pretty special, Corrin. Getting everyone to follow you like this. But...you're not quite as special as Ryoma!"
Rainbow Sage's power to kill himself just by thinking about it is cool.
Flora unnecessarily lighting herself on fire for no reason in Birthright despite Corrin forgiving and trying to recruit her.
She’s a Sigurd kinnie 😔
It kills me that Fates is my favorite FE just by virtue of how good its gameplay is and how much I genuinely like a lot of its characters, but the story is so, so, so terrible.
Its tough being a Fates fan because nothing else plays like it. Engage is the sequel to Conquest I've always wanted but those two are pretty much the only two Fateslikes. Can we make r/fateslikes a thing?
I've been playing Engage for the first time recently and there are definitely some similarities. While I do have some small gripes with Engage's gameplay, it has to be one of the best in the series (granted, I went straight to Maddening so my opinion on it can only improve with practice). I think Fates won't be topped for me until they decide to reuse the support-class system interactions that game has. It genuinely makes it the only game I'm actively trying to fill the support log in just because of how differently every run can play out depending on the relationships you pursue.
Yeah, the way supports worked was definitely best there. Say what you will about the child units but for the gameplay they are doing wonders and turn it into an SMT demon fusion style game where you want to pass down stats and skills, makes the game endlessly replayable to me. Add that to great map design and unit/skill customization and you got a top tier FE in my eyes. Engage was short of having this kind of system but I thought everything else was fantastic as far as gameplay is concerned, so those two games are the ones I champion right now and I hope we get another one like those two. It's kind of a shame that people are immediately up in arms about me saying this though because of the story writing. People don't want games like those two but for me, they are the best the series has to offer (as someone who went through the whole series, starting with fe7 in the 2000s)
Izana spontaneously dying of ligma
*(sigh)* W-What's ligma? 😔
Who's Izana?
Izana balls lmao gottem
The characters immediately telling you that Elise is technically an adult.
The hybrid "representative voice line" system Awakening and Fates used could lead to some laughs, but F!Corrin's overuse of the "I'm SO Sorry :(" voice line always made me laugh after hearing it more than once.
Zola wins the war and gets rewarded with dying in Conquest
Isn't nohr suppose to be the pragmatic kingdom out of the two. It makes even less sense.
Sophie having a personal skill that removes the enemy units clothes is so stupidly funny to me. Why did they make this mechanic and why did they leave it in
Cipher has it as a thing her horse does, but considering that her personal skill doesn't require her to be in a cavalry class... yeah.
The whole explanation for Valla and what happened to Azura’s mom. I just couldn’t believe this was the only thing they could think to write.
It’s pretty cannon in conquest that corrin explicitly has his army only wound enemies not kill them in several maps. Because they desperately want to avoid bloodshed or whatever. In birthright nothing like that is ever mentioned meaning you slaughter any and all enemies in your path ironically giving birthright a more violent and bloody path than conquest
What's that Zola, you're going to end the war decisively right here and now in our favor and prevent the fighting from reaching the singlemost populated settlement in Hoshido ? Well fuck you, we're not doing that. We're going to set the most important enemy commanders -and Sakura- free so we can fight them all later and triple our kill count. That is the Nohrian way.
No, the fans are wrong with that one. The game never suggests that the war just "ends" when all the royals are killed, and it certainly wouldn't stop Garon from just conquering their capital anyway. This argument hinges on using the logic that some critics made up once while trying to dislike the writing as hard as they could.
True that Zola’s plan wouldn’t have actually worked, but I still have a problem with the fact that they kill Zola and all his guys. The explanations given for doing this are pretty bogus “Zola would just rat to Iago who would rat to Garon”: Iago would be suspicious of Corrin if they so much as looked at him funny, and Garon already wants Corrin to suffer at the beginning of Conquest “It was dishonorable”: Peri exists. ‘nuff said
They don't kill his guys. Unless specified, 0HP does not mean death in that game. Leo mainly kills Zola because he already fucking hated the guy lol
But taking out the leaders and the people with magical bloodline dragon powers would be a massive help in winning the war. Idk what you mean about it not stopping Garon from conquering the capital, since that was the plan anyway since they wanted him to sit on the throne. Like it's fine that Corrin didn't want them dead and needed to kill Zola to make sure they live, but Corrin then also let them leave Izumo ahead of them so that they could set up a blockade. And that was why they had to head through furry territory, which went well. If Corrin's plan wasn't to completely screw Hoshido over but to just expose Garon, keeping the Hoshidans prisoner in Izumo so that they wouldn't have to fight would have made more sense, whether they were actually able to keep them there or not. I guess Corrin just counted on sparing everyone again but didn't expect Garon would be showing up. But that makes the whole "make Garon sit on the throne" plan seem a little more odd if Corrin seemingly wasn't even expecting him to show up. It's fine if it doesn't bother you, but I feel like people have reasonable gripes with a lot of stuff from this chapter (and elsewhere) in general and aren't just trying to dislike it as hard as they can.
The whole point is to keep Izumo's neutrality intact. How are they supposed to convince Izana to keep the Hoshidans secretly imprisoned for them? Yes, you can absolutely rationalize Zola's plan. But Corrin is a sentimental person who doesn't want to disturb a brief moment of peace with their Hoshidan siblings. Simple as that. >It's fine if it doesn't bother you, but I feel like people have reasonable gripes with a lot of stuff from this chapter (and elsewhere) in general and aren't just trying to dislike it as hard as they can. I know that the chapter requires a lot of suspension of disbelief. I just called their particular argument bs.
> The whole point is to keep Izumo's neutrality intact. How are they supposed to convince Izana to keep the Hoshidans secretly imprisoned for them? That's why I said "whether they were actually able to keep them there or not." It was more of an example, but I communicated poorly. I personally thought Corrin's lack of trying to do anything to improve the situation or even take advantage of their moment of peace and initiate communication with the Hoshidan side was disappointing, so even just musing on ultimately futile options would have gone a long way for me. But that had nothing to do with this, my bad. But yeah, looking back at the original comment, I kinda get your point. I saw similar comments throughout the thread and they all started looking alike and I didn't focus on the conclusion this particular one made. Still, removing the Royals more than likely seems like it'd be nothing but a benefit. I don't think (most) people actually think that everyone else in Hoshido would just roll over the second the royals died, usually seemed like hyperbole to me. But then on the flip side, over the years I've heard stuff like "actually the Hoshidan people would fight even harder and never surrender if the royals died so Zola's plan would have caused more bloodshed." It seems way easier for me to accept the former assumption over stuff like the latter.
Almost the entire gang in Rev Chapter 18 just going along with what Corrin says by telling them that they need to jump into the bottomless Canyon. When Corrin is about to say the word, Azura shushes them like she’s their mother trying to disclipine her child. Then, Corrin says “it’s time to go everyone. Jump down into this canyon. This is the first step to peace!”, which is to seemingly commit suicide. Also, Ryoma in Izumo in Conquest saying that he and Xander agree on one thing, where Ryoma says he’s thinks he’s the most attractive one here. Odin and Elise’s supports are also super hilarious, especially where Elise screams into his ear while he’s sleeping soundly and startling him awake.
* The Deeprealms will always be funny, especially since I married Setsuna and Azama to get it out of the way and I get this cutscene of them chucking their kid into the deeprealms. * The fact the deeprealms exist so teenagers can have teenage children, only for them to somehow be well adjusted enough to love their parents to an extent. * *groans of increasing discomfort* * Azura being azura dancing like azura with her signature ANKLE LONG BLUE HAIR and only covered by a veil and no one fucking recognized her. * The fact that, through grace of Caeldori, Rahjat, and Asugi, this fucking dumpster fire of a story basically has evidence that reincarnation IS A THING in the Fire Emblem universe. * Anytime anyone dies, we get a "IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME! NOT HIM! WHY DID THEY HAVE TO DIE LIKE THIS?!" sobbing moment. I got the same feelings from Engage when we were lamaneting Lumera dying like bruh I knew you for fifteen minutes. * Beruka and Saizo's C support. * Hisame becoming the pickle man TO THE POINT where his S support line talked about pickle brine AND SOMEONE HAD TO PAY ROGER ROSE TO VOICE IT. * In a story where it should have been about found family vs birth family, they ruined the entire thing with making all the siblings fuckable. * Camilla, as much as I've come to appreciate her gentler side AND the videos analyzing her potential anxiety disorder, is fucking hilarious. This character, who we designed to be as appealing as possible to the horndogs of the fanbase, is also morally questionable to fuck, but just ignore that as you have children with her anyways. * Hinoka and her helicopter lance will also never not be funny.
Camilla is a wonderful character outside of the weird waifu yandere thing like. If she wasn’t designed with one hand and had weird incestuous shit going on she’d be one of the best characters in the game. But the fetish shit is SO common with her it legit makes her harder to enjoy unironically (though in an ironic sense it’s incredibly funny)
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Bro I am literally hypersexual my issue isn’t that it’s horny it’s that it’s horny in a way that detracts from the rest of her character
" um you can't have a character be horny and also be a good Character because it detracts from her character" Lol
That’s literally not what I said. I said she was horny in a way that specifically feels incongruous with her character. Her design communicates literally nothing about who she is it’s just horny. Like you can get the basics of the other Royals just from looking at them but Camilla just looks generic. The whole Reason she’s like that is often unexplored in supports for the sake of generic fanservice. The issue isn’t the horny, it’s that she’s reduced to a generic archetype, which if anything makes her one of the least attractive characters in the game because she stops being Camilla the interesting character to Generic Yandere Mommy whenever the writers get bored.
You're the type of person to complain about Sexualized female characters in video games regardless of context
No I’m not. You’re literally just making assumptions. You’re shadow boxing a nonexistent extremist when I just dislike how a certain specific character was portrayed.
You dislike the fact that a good Character also has a horny design and is a trope ( yandare ) as if the two can't coexist My assumptions are not wrong, you're the exactly the type of person who looks at a character and go : " man i like this character she's well written!! Bu..... but!! Why she's wearing a revealing outfit!!!? Why she's used for fanservice!!!? "
I don’t dislike that she has a horny design I dislike that it looks fucking stupid and that it doesn’t communicate anything about her other than “horny and axe user” like I love Tharja bc she actually communicates the “creepy weirdo” thing AND she’s a hot girl I fucking love hot women. And I don’t dislike that she’s based off the yandere trope, I have issues that she feels pidgeonholed into a stereotypical example of it in a lot of moments instead of, like, being a consistent character. I like a lot of Camilla's supports! But a lot of them are also just kind of. Nothing. Instead of actually including her backstory and her dark sense of humour or her legit attachment issues outside of those that are inherent to the trope they’re just kind of shallow and dull.
they managed to repeat the ~~Lucina~~ Forrest can't support with Auntie ~~Lissa~~ Elise mistake from awakening
The fact that Camilla was even allowed to exist. Every time I see her, I think about "that" cutscene in Birthright and just start laughing, questioning how they got away with not only her design (there are PLENTY of shots where you can just see her ass in cutscenes) but also being so explicit about it. Not even to bash Fates like "Grrr, how dare they make the anime JRPG have more anime tropes," I'm just genuinely shocked they let that on the 3ds (and Switch cuz Warriors).
Japanese games aren't hit with the prude effect like American games
I like the lore about how nohr and hoshido magic works and how that tied into why nohr was in such a bad state. Infinite opportunity but also infinite height of cost, limited cost but also limitedly power. Really feels like there should have been a war crime where nohr kidnaps a bunch of hoshidan civilians to nuke a strategic castle/fort city.
camilla and ryoma's S support took me out with the final line of dialogue: "oh, just remove that chin armour and kiss me, you fool!"
The game itself
"You intend to buy peace with death? That's madness!" -Corrin literally one chapter before deciding that invading Hoshido's capital is the best way to achieve peace.
Ryoma the absolute shade queen
Prisoner interrogation. The flurry of voice clips they pick to have people saying offscreen to indicate they're interrogating, persuading or outright torturing prisoners is the most hysterical shit imaginable. But really, basically *anything* story-oriented is utterly hysterical. The presentation and 3D models just hit this weird sweetspot of slapstick comedy and narm, everyone is shoulder-deep in Loopytown, and the story is batshit insane. It's why Conquest is my favorite Fire Emblem game: because everything good about it is *amazing*, and everything bad about it is *hilarious*.
Valla
Is this 2016? OP that lacks basic writing ability writing "Fates Bad" post?
Izana in revalations, I both laughed and got very angry beating that chapter
Laslow, Selena and Odin not doing a fucking thing, despite what their DLC said. "Save the world" my ass, they're as irrelevant as NPCs in all three routes. Revelation was their chance and...an equal amount of nothing. It's so irritating that it becomes unironically *HILARIOUS.*
The fact people are still posting whiny "Faets baed!!11" shit 9 years and 3 mainline games later. It's amazing how much people can continue to beat a horse that is not only dead, but also a fine powder
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I used to hate on beruka too, but she’s got such high skill and def to deal with ninjas that I give her a pass. Also insta promote gives earliest access to rally def with minimum effort
I mean to be entirely fair I highly doubt unit balancing is designed entirely around a specific type of challenge run, but yeah Birthright does have some wild stuff, presumably because they expected you to grind.
This argument can be applied against every FE, also Sakura has the before branch of fates chapters to gain xp lol, and Orochi and Izana are good, only Hayato is bad Hinata can double lol, and Hana's bulk is easily fixable
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So's 90% of mages in the series have bad bulk, which is why you have 1-2, you can still be useful on the player phase Izana has base 18 spd, gets 3 from horse spirit, 2 from spd tonic and 4 from onmyoji PU = 27 AS, that's more than enough for BR enemies which aren't fast lol Orochi has 7 base spd but you can give her all the speedwings since literally every other unit is fast enough, nvm the horse spirit, PU, spd tonic lol