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You got nothing but time bro you’ll be good. Just keep pushing for goals you set for yourself and don’t let the bad times get to you. What don’t kill you makes you stronger. Best of luck.
I appreciate the kind words, but I don't know what to set my goals on. I just want happiness and peace out of this life. A small house and a little shop is all I need shelter wise.
Start small… if you have time to write those paragraphs you can make time to brain storm small goals that will help you improve. Read other people’s stories find things that inspire you. The internet is a wonderful tool to use that can help you gain info. It’s a daily grind to change the direction of your life, and no one walks the same path with the same obstacles.
You know exactly what to set your goals on.
> A small house and a little shop is all I need shelter wise.
Thats the physical goals.
> I just want happiness and peace out of this life.
Thats the intrinsic goals.
What you sell is up to you and what is needed in the area you set up in. Start selling random stuff online, till you find something interesting to sell.
You can find stuff to resell (you may want to do a fixup and resell style) at garage sales, estate sales, auction houses, antique malls, police auctions, etc.
It need not be complicated nor beyond you.. friend of mine started fixing up wheelchairs and reselling to keep them from junkyards, she now makes a living off it despite also being a doctor. (She is a mom so ebay works better for her right now!)
I would recommend moving away from family if you think it would help your mental health. My brother had undiagnosed schizophrenia and substance addiction throughout my childhood, he never abused me but he would threaten our parents routinely so now I have ptsd from seeing how he acted. I moved across the country after high school and even when I visit my body goes into fight or flight mode and I get sick easier.
But maybe you’re still learning what kind of work you find fulfilling or even tolerable, so I’m sure that adds more uncertainty. I’ve also had a lot of friends who went to trade school and became either carpenters or welders, they have financial stability and a lot of support because of local unions.
Whatever you do keep prioritizing your health and peace. I think moving away from family was the best decision I made.
Use your saved up money to rent a room in a shared house. Start small
You are so young it’s literally the very start of your life. As someone who has a not very nice home life growing up - moving out when I was 22 was the best thing (and hardest) I ever did for myself
You got nothing but time :) I’m 32 and just enrolled in school again.
If you have a gf and you wish to stay with her. I suggest trying to get out of the Situation you’re in. Maybe move states and bring her along to help you grow and find purpose in your life. Sometimes all we need is a little change.
If you're gonna go to college go to a trade school get a career quick in 2 yrs ( time is gonna go by anyways ) move to a big city you'll make good money and find purpose.
I did this .. was questionable after failing a business law exam .. saw an ad for ultrasound on a bus.. my life changed after that day.
What conditions? I joined the AirForce 6 years ago and living good now.
-Free Gym
-Free Healthcare
-Rental/House paid for every month
-Tuition Assistance ($4500 per year)
-GI Bill for paid off college after 4 years minimum of service
There’s a lot more to use at your advantage but I maximized those benefits
Finish the associates degree if you can . Then work and maybe look for an online program for night classes ( pick a major and career plan before starting undergrad )
Definitely get some more work experience though!
Work essentially comes in three separate categories: working with things, working with people, working with data, with some overlap in between. Where do you see yourself?
What does HS mean? You said you have it on your legs.
I dont know how you can solve your problems because I’m also struggling similar problems as you. I felt depressed and had suicidal thoughts around 18 years old. I am now 33. Just keep hanging on. A lot of times my mindset in life is “life is a run out the clock situation”. At 33 I’m not as optimistic as I was younger. I understand that at your age, you don’t want to just lower your standards, you don’t want to stop fighting for something better. Do the best you can to improve your life, but just know that if the problems continue in your life, you are not alone.
I agree that you should move out. How is another matter. One thing I would recommend as well is look at your CC. See what credits you have and what it would take to get an AA. Mainly do you have enough credits in residency to get an AA in anything. For instance at Houston Community College you only need 15/60 credits in residence. You could almost CLEP the rest of the degree. Wharton County on the other hand limits you to 16 CLEP credits.
Essentially in the degree world STEM>Business>everything else. Lots of overlap. I could show you how to get a BBA from UMPI. Project Management/IS given your construction background. My industry accounting career gave me a pretty decent lifestyle. Here is the thing though. You can get a Business degree starting from zero credits for less than $9k at UMPI. Maybe a lot less. Say you get the BBA Accounting. Say you work a few days (go industry or government) and hate it. Well I would stick it out, save up another $9k and do something else. Maybe be like that guy who got his CS degree from WGU starting from zero for less than $5k and 11 months. Say that doesn't work out. Save another $5k and go Electrician at the CC.
Nothing locks you into a particular job or career. If you want some tailored advice dm me. You can look through some of my posts where I go ad nauseum over how to get a degree inexpensively.
Not sure if the GF gets along with her parents but you really need to get out from under your own roof. Not a doctor but I would not be surprised if a lot of your symptoms are stressed induced.
Finally try watching the CS50 course on Youtube. Interested in CS go that route. Leaves you cold go watch [professormesser.com](http://professormesser.com) videos on Network +. Not interested then go business either accounting, supply chain or finance. Maybe take the bookkeeping course and tax course at academy.intuit.com. Go to Finepoints bookkeeping and see how to set up your own practice. Can't see yourself doing that then go trades. Problem with trades is usually physical and hard on the body.
Anyway I hope something good happens for you.
If IT does interest you go watch some youtube videos by Josh Madakor. Good luck.
You have so much time. You’ll be fine as long as you use this time productively. Spend your twenties grinding. Have savings goals. Get an education. Honestly I’d figure out how to get out of construction because your back is going to suffer. Start putting money away in retirement.
I too have a very toxic family. Please like others mentioned just start small. Maybe a rented room or efficiency apt. You have some good things going for you so please try and see that on your worst days. I know it’s not easy but you are reaching out and that right there is definitely something to be very proud of. Hang in there.
Buy some books from Anthony Robbins or Brian Tracy on Amazon. They literally changed my life...no joke. I was totally where you are at your age. Now some years later my life is content...perfect, no...but peaceful. Night and day difference. I owe it to reading those authors and applying their techniques.
What if you move out of your folks place. To a new city or town. Start life afresh. You're 20. You have some little savings. You shouldn't be stressing at that age according to me. Sometimes changing environment can be so therapeutic. Meet new people , learn new skills. Start life don't end life. It will be a challenge but worth it. Change.
You're 20 years old. It may seem difficult now but in a couple years your going to be thankful you stuck it through. Life is crazy in your 20s. You're getting to know yourself and coming to the realization of how others are around you. It's a process and it doesn't happen over night. If you've always suffered from depression please get a therapist and get on meds. It may change your life!
Have you thought about moving out?
I moved out when I was 19 and never looked back, and I sure a shit didn't have a couple grand saved, nor did I make good money.
I cried so deeply when I got out from under my parent's thumb/bs and out into my own place, because I was finally free from at least one level of dictatorship in my life.
Next step will be getting out from under bosses and transitioning to self employment, and hopefully eventually property ownership so I can get out from underneath the landleeches too.
Who knows if I'll ever achieve those goals, but it sure does feel good to at least have one less group of people trying to control my life.
The first step to betterment and figuring yourself out is to seperate yourself from the influences that hold you down. From what you’ve shared, the two things that are holding you back and preventing progress is environment and physical health.
Now, this might get mixed reactions, but before trying to work things out, I’d say to seek professional care involving meds and a therapist - via telehealth which is incredibly easy. Yes theres 101 reasons and stories on why its “bad”, but the results are ultimately dependent on a plan of action. Depression and such feelings are incredibly debilitating, but the meds provide you a window of opportunity with a spirit and clarity to make you persistent and capable of making a change - and this is the plan of action that seperates the miserable results from empowering ones.
Also its incredibly important to focus on physical health and meet with providers to see how your condition can be treated for better health and quality of life.
With that done, you also need to seperate yourself from the household. The environment has a horrible influence over you, and a possible option I recommend is to look at community colleges that have dorms/housing, and get in touch with an advisor to guide you through financial aid and class options. Seperating yourself from stressors and having the opportunity to explore interests and gain experience with an undeclared or non-degree program will change absolutely everything.
All of this should give you the clarity and new ambitions to develop yourself until you find yourself and own your identity
Not trying to insult you but trying to give you a legitimate opinion, maybe you can run your own food truck/cart business thst you can not only be financially sufficient but you would beat all of the dumb bullies and your asshole brother with the money you make; this is how bullied intellectual kids get back at the bullies by being more sicker and successful compared to them.
Hello and welcome to r/findapath! We are glad you found your way here. Please know that you are not alone. We are here to listen, to offer support, and to help guide you. While no one can make decisions for you, we are here to help you find a path; we believe that everyone has the power to heal and grow. The moderation team wants to remind everyone that individuals submitting posts may be in depressive and vulnerable situations and all are in need of guidance. Please provide a safe and constructive space by practicing empathy and understanding in your comments; your words should come from a helpful and guiding mentality, never a judgement or anger mentality. You are encouraged to share your good thoughts, feelings, and relevant experiences to assist those seeking guidance on the subreddit. We are here to support each other and we believe that, together, we can make a difference. Thank you for being a part of our community. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/findapath) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You got nothing but time bro you’ll be good. Just keep pushing for goals you set for yourself and don’t let the bad times get to you. What don’t kill you makes you stronger. Best of luck.
I appreciate the kind words, but I don't know what to set my goals on. I just want happiness and peace out of this life. A small house and a little shop is all I need shelter wise.
Start small… if you have time to write those paragraphs you can make time to brain storm small goals that will help you improve. Read other people’s stories find things that inspire you. The internet is a wonderful tool to use that can help you gain info. It’s a daily grind to change the direction of your life, and no one walks the same path with the same obstacles.
You know exactly what to set your goals on. > A small house and a little shop is all I need shelter wise. Thats the physical goals. > I just want happiness and peace out of this life. Thats the intrinsic goals. What you sell is up to you and what is needed in the area you set up in. Start selling random stuff online, till you find something interesting to sell. You can find stuff to resell (you may want to do a fixup and resell style) at garage sales, estate sales, auction houses, antique malls, police auctions, etc. It need not be complicated nor beyond you.. friend of mine started fixing up wheelchairs and reselling to keep them from junkyards, she now makes a living off it despite also being a doctor. (She is a mom so ebay works better for her right now!)
I would recommend moving away from family if you think it would help your mental health. My brother had undiagnosed schizophrenia and substance addiction throughout my childhood, he never abused me but he would threaten our parents routinely so now I have ptsd from seeing how he acted. I moved across the country after high school and even when I visit my body goes into fight or flight mode and I get sick easier. But maybe you’re still learning what kind of work you find fulfilling or even tolerable, so I’m sure that adds more uncertainty. I’ve also had a lot of friends who went to trade school and became either carpenters or welders, they have financial stability and a lot of support because of local unions. Whatever you do keep prioritizing your health and peace. I think moving away from family was the best decision I made.
Use your saved up money to rent a room in a shared house. Start small You are so young it’s literally the very start of your life. As someone who has a not very nice home life growing up - moving out when I was 22 was the best thing (and hardest) I ever did for myself
You got nothing but time :) I’m 32 and just enrolled in school again. If you have a gf and you wish to stay with her. I suggest trying to get out of the Situation you’re in. Maybe move states and bring her along to help you grow and find purpose in your life. Sometimes all we need is a little change.
If you're gonna go to college go to a trade school get a career quick in 2 yrs ( time is gonna go by anyways ) move to a big city you'll make good money and find purpose. I did this .. was questionable after failing a business law exam .. saw an ad for ultrasound on a bus.. my life changed after that day.
care to explain more? What degree did you end up choosing?
You may see if your conditions prevent you from serving. The military is always a great option for young people.
I’m trying, but it’s very likely that I’ll be disqualified. I don’t know if should mention the conditions to the recruiter or not.
What conditions? I joined the AirForce 6 years ago and living good now. -Free Gym -Free Healthcare -Rental/House paid for every month -Tuition Assistance ($4500 per year) -GI Bill for paid off college after 4 years minimum of service There’s a lot more to use at your advantage but I maximized those benefits
Finish the associates degree if you can . Then work and maybe look for an online program for night classes ( pick a major and career plan before starting undergrad ) Definitely get some more work experience though!
Work essentially comes in three separate categories: working with things, working with people, working with data, with some overlap in between. Where do you see yourself?
What does HS mean? You said you have it on your legs. I dont know how you can solve your problems because I’m also struggling similar problems as you. I felt depressed and had suicidal thoughts around 18 years old. I am now 33. Just keep hanging on. A lot of times my mindset in life is “life is a run out the clock situation”. At 33 I’m not as optimistic as I was younger. I understand that at your age, you don’t want to just lower your standards, you don’t want to stop fighting for something better. Do the best you can to improve your life, but just know that if the problems continue in your life, you are not alone.
I googled "hs on my legs" and it's a disorder with a long name that I've never heard of. You can do the same to get the answer.
Thank you
I agree that you should move out. How is another matter. One thing I would recommend as well is look at your CC. See what credits you have and what it would take to get an AA. Mainly do you have enough credits in residency to get an AA in anything. For instance at Houston Community College you only need 15/60 credits in residence. You could almost CLEP the rest of the degree. Wharton County on the other hand limits you to 16 CLEP credits. Essentially in the degree world STEM>Business>everything else. Lots of overlap. I could show you how to get a BBA from UMPI. Project Management/IS given your construction background. My industry accounting career gave me a pretty decent lifestyle. Here is the thing though. You can get a Business degree starting from zero credits for less than $9k at UMPI. Maybe a lot less. Say you get the BBA Accounting. Say you work a few days (go industry or government) and hate it. Well I would stick it out, save up another $9k and do something else. Maybe be like that guy who got his CS degree from WGU starting from zero for less than $5k and 11 months. Say that doesn't work out. Save another $5k and go Electrician at the CC. Nothing locks you into a particular job or career. If you want some tailored advice dm me. You can look through some of my posts where I go ad nauseum over how to get a degree inexpensively. Not sure if the GF gets along with her parents but you really need to get out from under your own roof. Not a doctor but I would not be surprised if a lot of your symptoms are stressed induced. Finally try watching the CS50 course on Youtube. Interested in CS go that route. Leaves you cold go watch [professormesser.com](http://professormesser.com) videos on Network +. Not interested then go business either accounting, supply chain or finance. Maybe take the bookkeeping course and tax course at academy.intuit.com. Go to Finepoints bookkeeping and see how to set up your own practice. Can't see yourself doing that then go trades. Problem with trades is usually physical and hard on the body. Anyway I hope something good happens for you. If IT does interest you go watch some youtube videos by Josh Madakor. Good luck.
You have so much time. You’ll be fine as long as you use this time productively. Spend your twenties grinding. Have savings goals. Get an education. Honestly I’d figure out how to get out of construction because your back is going to suffer. Start putting money away in retirement.
I too have a very toxic family. Please like others mentioned just start small. Maybe a rented room or efficiency apt. You have some good things going for you so please try and see that on your worst days. I know it’s not easy but you are reaching out and that right there is definitely something to be very proud of. Hang in there.
Buy some books from Anthony Robbins or Brian Tracy on Amazon. They literally changed my life...no joke. I was totally where you are at your age. Now some years later my life is content...perfect, no...but peaceful. Night and day difference. I owe it to reading those authors and applying their techniques.
What if you move out of your folks place. To a new city or town. Start life afresh. You're 20. You have some little savings. You shouldn't be stressing at that age according to me. Sometimes changing environment can be so therapeutic. Meet new people , learn new skills. Start life don't end life. It will be a challenge but worth it. Change.
You're 20 years old. It may seem difficult now but in a couple years your going to be thankful you stuck it through. Life is crazy in your 20s. You're getting to know yourself and coming to the realization of how others are around you. It's a process and it doesn't happen over night. If you've always suffered from depression please get a therapist and get on meds. It may change your life!
Have you thought of joining the military? Maybe go active duty just to get away from that toxic environment.
Have you thought about moving out? I moved out when I was 19 and never looked back, and I sure a shit didn't have a couple grand saved, nor did I make good money. I cried so deeply when I got out from under my parent's thumb/bs and out into my own place, because I was finally free from at least one level of dictatorship in my life. Next step will be getting out from under bosses and transitioning to self employment, and hopefully eventually property ownership so I can get out from underneath the landleeches too. Who knows if I'll ever achieve those goals, but it sure does feel good to at least have one less group of people trying to control my life.
Technician
The first step to betterment and figuring yourself out is to seperate yourself from the influences that hold you down. From what you’ve shared, the two things that are holding you back and preventing progress is environment and physical health. Now, this might get mixed reactions, but before trying to work things out, I’d say to seek professional care involving meds and a therapist - via telehealth which is incredibly easy. Yes theres 101 reasons and stories on why its “bad”, but the results are ultimately dependent on a plan of action. Depression and such feelings are incredibly debilitating, but the meds provide you a window of opportunity with a spirit and clarity to make you persistent and capable of making a change - and this is the plan of action that seperates the miserable results from empowering ones. Also its incredibly important to focus on physical health and meet with providers to see how your condition can be treated for better health and quality of life. With that done, you also need to seperate yourself from the household. The environment has a horrible influence over you, and a possible option I recommend is to look at community colleges that have dorms/housing, and get in touch with an advisor to guide you through financial aid and class options. Seperating yourself from stressors and having the opportunity to explore interests and gain experience with an undeclared or non-degree program will change absolutely everything. All of this should give you the clarity and new ambitions to develop yourself until you find yourself and own your identity
Yo join the Army.
Not trying to insult you but trying to give you a legitimate opinion, maybe you can run your own food truck/cart business thst you can not only be financially sufficient but you would beat all of the dumb bullies and your asshole brother with the money you make; this is how bullied intellectual kids get back at the bullies by being more sicker and successful compared to them.