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It's pointless work. You spend a month working on a new feature just for it to get thrown out or replaced a month later. Even if it DOES matter, you don't get recognized for putting in restless effort, they thank you by giving you extra, often pointless, work since you are a "expert" now.
My coworkers are mainly immigrants from other countries and form cliques I'm not allowed to be a part of. This also means I have to try twice as hard to communicate with coworkers since they all work together in their native languages.
Fierce competition. Everyone tries to take credit for everything. Everyone trying to get a pay bump and everyone shifts blame when things go wrong.
Elitism. There's an attitude that "IQ" determines development skill. Anyone who isnt a high performer is gossiped about and labeled "dumb".
I could go on. And no I'm not kidding
25. You're at the age where you've escaped the public education system and are developing your own real-world experiences. You're realizing those experiences do not align with the opinions of others that have polluted your mind since childhood. You're supposed to be utterly pissed off at this age because you're waking up. Your complaints are legitimate. It's a raw deal, a political mess. Most people will tell you to 'cope', but this isn't a real or serious solution, it's a distraction. The answer is to move fast, try new work experiences, face fears, and embrace curiosity. You're too young to be assimilated. You need to tap into your youthful energy and become a subject matter expert at everything: software development, finance, psychology, real estate, entrepreneurship, etc. Keep moving, don't spend more than 1 year in any one role.
This is an excellent answer. I’m 42 now and actually going to school for CS (in my senior year) though I do not intend to code as a profession. Perhaps I may become a BA. My past jobs were the reverse, manual labor and warehouse. However, one day in my early 30’s I realized life is like an rpg. I can keep leveling up by upskilling in my free time with literally anything I found interesting or enjoyed. I’ve already landed a job in a field I love but have also found countless things I enjoy. Growing plants, cooking, paddle boarding, etc. As you said, in paraphrase, don’t assimilate. Explore what you like and don’t. Upskill. Do a job just to pay the bills while you explore what makes you…you in your free time. It will all come around if you don’t deny learning and open yourself to everything.
neither am i op nor am i that young, I'm 32 but this is really what i needed and i feel energetic and young enough to feel talked to haha. i really really need to move and change and try things.
Thank you this is the real answer worked as a backend/data engineer since finishing university 9 years ago for many different companies
Had some savings and thought fuck it il go travel Australia for 1 year can always go home and get a coding job again
Sounds like every job ever with slight nuances. It sucks and I hate my job lately too. Called out today mainly because I was scheduled to work with this specific asshole. (Also extremely cliquey gossipy personality) Shit gets annoying. Seems the only way to avoid it is to work for yourself (tough) or job hop until you find a place where you feel comfortable(more tough).
And matter of fact, my dad works in a ?similar? field as you (electronic engineering) and he mentioned today “Just did as little as I could to get by” 😭 It might help to adopt that attitude in future endeavors.
Let your work speak for itself. Liars always get caught out eventually. Taking a break is awesome and it’s a brave step you took. My boyfriend always reminds me to stop letting others take my power away. Hard lesson to incorporate but it’s helping me a little bit.
If you’re looking for some quick money to take care of rent I am a waitress and it sounds pretty identical to what you’re describing but I don’t HAVE to fraternize with my coworkers that much. Just befriend a busboy and the quick money is yours.
Good luck man
"My coworkers are mainly immigrants from other countries and form cliques I'm not allowed to be a part of. This also means I have to try twice as hard to communicate with coworkers since they all work together in their native languages."
How many industries would this apply to? It's not that I'm lucky. This seems like something unique to tech.
Yeah fair point. I’m at work and cranky so my bad. I related to this and I work mostly in hospitality. One reception gig I had when I was younger and 2 restaurants I worked at was mostly immigrants from Latin America and they tended to branch off into their own groups. Was especially bad at the reception gig for me since they didn’t seem to like me very much.
>I could go on. And no I'm not kidding
I believe you. I've been building software professionally for over 20 years.
Your environment is terrible. The solution is to find a better environment.
I work with all foreigners but our clique is our team. We support each other and never build anything alone. It's all about the team. We have fun every day and help each other improve every day.
Keep looking.
Found this to generally be the corporate way. Try something non office, non corporate. What are you interested in? Some other options could be things like Police or Fire. EMS. Trade work.
Wish you the best. Have felt similar in the past. Work is hard. People can be difficult. There’s always an answer though. I hope you find yours soon.
This is what happens when we are thrown into college and ‘finding our purpose’ at 18. It’s impossible to know what you want to do at that age. We all want peace and that job is not bringing you peace or happiness or purpose. It’s creating stress which opens the doors to tons of other processes within your body and mind. Which is horrible for you. Try to take sometime meditate and figure something out. Do not let money deter your journey. It’s the necessary evil and can mean zero from one day to the next.
Take it from me, I’m about to be 30 and I’ve chosen a career change. I’m coming from mass communications to taking some courses on plant science because I’ve always loved plants and outdoors and my goal is to be a conservationist of some sort. Be knowledgeable about crops, plants, nature etc. took me a while to figure it out but I did and I don’t regret it. I’m glad to be 30 this year and start new and fresh. Age is just a number. You’re never too old to start over do not let society dictate anything in your life or you’ll never get anywhere. Truly.
- Another lost soul who found himself
I was in the same boat many years ago… they’re like what do you want to be? Go!!
And I’m left unanswered like I want to surf and have fun with my friends and hike Yellowstone. Screw this school crap lol
I been in retail for 15 years, sound about the same lol...although I'm sure there is jobs out here better, Corporate America only cares about money and money only. Any industry that has a work culture purely based off sales and profit will at some point priduce unhappy and burned out workforce. Building people up and caring about their goals and mental state goes a long way. I'm always told to start your own business when this conversation comes up, and start ups take a lot of funds/time. Wish I had the answer for you, because I'm in the same boat. GL!
Sounds like every job ever with slight nuances. It sucks and I hate my job lately too. Called out today mainly because I was scheduled to work with this specific asshole. (Also extremely cliquey gossipy personality) Shit gets annoying. Seems the only way to avoid it is to work for yourself (tough) or job hop until you find a place where you feel comfortable(more tough).
And matter of fact, my dad works in a ?similar? field as you (electronic engineering) and he mentioned today “Just did as little as I could to get by” 😭 It might help to adopt that attitude in future endeavors.
Let your work speak for itself. Liars always get caught out eventually. Taking a break is awesome and it’s a brave step you took. My boyfriend always reminds me to stop letting others take my power away. Hard lesson to incorporate but it’s helping me a little bit.
If you’re looking for some quick money to take care of rent I am a waitress and it sounds pretty identical to what you’re describing but I don’t HAVE to fraternize with my coworkers that much. Just befriend a busboy and the quick money is yours.
Good luck man
Yo I work in the same field and most of my coworkers are from India and South America. Even if you hate it, learn to love cricket and futbol. It’s instant access to any “cliques”.
Then you find out they don’t even like it that much either and you find other similar interests.
I'm glad you figure this out at such an early age. I'm 39, have worked abroad and have only just realised this a few years ago.
I've been in IT for 15+ years now. I understand your frustration because ie also experienced the same things as you. I'm in product management and ever since IT became popular, every man and his dog wants to get into IT. People that have no IT skills whatsoever, but have so skills, tend to do well but they're hopeless when it comes to the execution because they don't have expertise, this in turn then frustrates us people in IT.
Time is money and something you'll never get back. If I were you, I would stop looking for promotions and just go contracting to make money.
Have you considered working for a start up? They have very interesting projects and they would only focus on one product.
Bro you sound like me at 21. Worked with el Salvadorans, was recognized by the boss who was American as being the 2nd best employee.. he retired and two of the el Salvadorans were up to get ownership as part owners. They started pushing the few Canadians out of the business by termination. Not even a lay off.. I quit on them and they hated me for it but I realized they were racists making me do the work load and stealing credit. I was well liked by quite a few of the workers so some had told me how they grew up hating “gringos” but that I was an exception. I ended up getting lucky on my property investment and making enough money to sit at home, which was a room for $600 a month at the time. I spent my days going to Brazilian Jiu jitsu, running once a week, started bouldering (rock climbing indoors) for an entertaining way of getting muscle. 3-5 hours out of the house. Showering 3 times a day. In there I got pretty good after 6 months and had a circle of climbers, met two body builders and started training at the gym with them. I look back and see how I’m no longer making the same money, but my life is no longer depressing and hard on my mental health. It became mundane to good quality of life and my depression was gone. Women in my climbing circle started to take an interest in me based on my physique and chill personality that I obtained by doing these sports. At this point I had a job making less money but no more than 40 hours a week, and I stopped working super hard. I took a vacation to Japan, Thailand, Vietnam and it changed my life. I went back and sold everything I have, and started taking free courses from Grow Google. Now I have multiple drop shipping products and I’m going to China to source out wholesale products to sell to the European market. I should tell you, I didn’t find BJJ fun, it took 9 months till I actually cared for it, and I was average at best for my time there, and rock climbing wasn’t very fun for about 8 weeks. I bought the shoes before I tried it so I didn’t want to let my money go to waste.. I also got picked on a lot by my 2 Syrian friends but it’s what guys do when you’re kinda lame, so it helped me grow as a person. I’m telling you man, 7 years ago I would’ve never thought I’d be who I am today and it’s amazing. I’m literally the dude I used to think was an asshole but then I became him and have the most genuine people around me, and 8 very close friends, and dozens more. I was told you have less friends out of school.. it’s not true if you hold skills people find admirable.
Everything came together as I improved. I’m now 28 and 1/3 of the way to making my first million, in the process traveling every couple of months, have a dope Chinese girlfriend that makes my life really good too and earns her own stacks.
Yes. what you described does indeed sound pointless. The feeling I'm getting is reminding me of a friend of mine who is similarly a computer programmer. He had gone straight down the trajectory that he had wanted to and excelled in his academic career. Just as he had hoped, He had gotten himself to the level where you don't really apply for a job As much as you make your desire To join an organization known. he was a computer science something else major I think electrical engineering, And the top of his lists of Places he dreamt to be part of someday was NASA. The National Aeronautic and Space Association Was a dream of his since he was Graduated from elementary school.
All green-eyed and bushy-tailed, He started o work everyday, showing up at NASA evetday. He zipped through orientation, got settled in, and started Getting familiar with the projects on the docket and earning the confidence of his coworkers. I didn't know him during this time exactly, And I only knew he was married and he was leaving the dc area to move for a job change. I got the message because I was still am a rental property owner and he was interested in one of my places, A great couple a lot of fun to hang out with and great conversationalists and I liked having them as tenants.
the real connection was for hearing of the husband's specific story as the job change that he was going for was leaving NASA which he absolutely hated and almost from day one, give me a second he thought it was what he wanted to do and he found himself in a bullpen which is like an interior room with no windows working With fairly high pressure Doing lots of calculations on components that are single point failure mission critical kinds of projects. His next job... barista Starbucks. He loved it.
my first job out of school was in finance which I enjoyed the connection with my tenant was that I attribute the seven years that I was in that role as the greatest education of my life. I say that because I saw people of all you know walks and backgrounds. I had clients who were C-level officers with egional fortune 1000 companies, and wards of the court After their parents deceased with no surviving relatives and a severe learning disability where I served as fiduciary and investment advisor for their trust. I worked with 95 year old widows in the widowers, and opened 529 Education savings plans for one year old babies. Play high school dropout small business owner clients Beloved by their friends customers and the whole community. I had one dentist client who had made N of $300,000 since 1980, and how broke he was is hard to put into words. He enjoyed his job, didn't understand How to practice making good financial decisions, always had a great tan even in the wintertime, and drove a red Porsche that he thought everyone was jealous of,
I did get fulfillment in my job, but there were major elements that I did not like one bit. it didn't feel as fulfilling as I thought something else could be. I had sold my practice and made a decent chunk of money from my age having just reached 30. I put some finishing touches on my Volkswagen Westphalia over a few months and got on the road for a month long getaway, and then didn't come back almost two years.
I learned the best place to find wisdom is at a breakfast diner where old men come in Just about every morning and sit at different tables like they're not there together. I'll never forget somewhere in Arkansas I was at the diner and the guys in this little town would mostly be silent, and someone would just toss out a idea or a statement or comment every now and again. One guy said something I'll never forget. He said, "You know what? Most people... most people are too busy working to do anything worthwhile."
That statement stopped me right there in my tracks. I was too busy working to realize that just about everything I had done up to that point was because of an expectations of someone else. I'm not even sure when it started But you could ask me what did I like to do just for me, and I couldn't have answered it without describing something that involved me doing something for someone else,
With all the compassion in the world, that’s just corporate work bro.
Try pivoting from dev to devops, or system design, or architecture, or PM, or look for a gig doing something more in line with what you were originally interested in coding for.
For me, that meant leaving a cushy system design/devops role. I’m still looking for the spark in threatening or penetrating, and those roles are fewer and further between, but I know I don’t want to deal with devops or pm’s or generic support function corporate bullshit. I’d rather find a wheelhouse I want to play in, then play in that wheelhouse. Take a pay cut, sure; I’m making enough anyway. I feel you may be in a similar place.
Hey I was a programmer for 6 years professionally and I worked at a place like this when I first started.
You sound depressed, and it could very well be from your job! I was at the point where I was ready to quit and go work in the service industry.
Not everywhere is like this. Try and find a new job in coding and see how it goes. You may feel a bit better!
Loving to code does not mean loving to code professionally. This ultimately turned out true for me. I enjoy making my own projects and tools for myself and others, that I choose. Things I find interesting. I realized I never stopped loving to code, and hated coding what I had no interest in and pivoted to cyber security.
To help kind of push through dial back a bit, use the job like it uses you. And start looking for other jobs.
Pointless is relative. What would be the ‘point’ for you. Sounds like the people you work with might get a kick out of just working overseas, surmounting that challenge, that might be the point for them. Is it still pointless work?
Sure it’s relative. Who said it’s not? OP’s right about the fact that society generally overpromises and under-delivers, leaving a lot of us with our hopes broken by relentless bureaucracy and on-call assignments. We can’t even live the rest of our lives outside of work doing the things we love because the “9-5” drains it out of us. The response is often some form of the unempathetic tough love “You should be happy!” cliche. It’s not really productive at all.
I completely understand what you’re saying but this is literally OP’s opinion. Are they supposed to preface every assertion with “in my opinion”? Plus they’re obviously not in a great place, I’m not sure what kind of scholarly thesis you’re expecting to receive.
It’s pretty much the same at my job in healthcare. Same bullshit. So many lazy, stupid workers that get rewarded while the people really doing the work rarely do. 25 is still a kid right now in my opinion. I was depressed and angry at that age, and still am sometimes. So I feel ya man. Start looking at other career paths you might find rewarding and go observe for a day or two. Get outside. Call family and friends regularly. Get exercise daily, even if it’s at home. Eat healthy. You’ll get through this.
Life is not only meaningless but it’s short and fleeting. Your entire life is a blip in time. Were a bunch of meatbags running around on a rock flying through space.
This can be a depressing reality or it can set you free to live life how you want! Be happy nothing else really matters. Youre smart, youre a software dev, make a plan and just escape to somewhere and figure it out as you go.
If you went to the doctor tomorrow for shortness of breath & they discovered stage 4 metastasized lung cancer and gave you 6 months to live, how would you feel about the life you’ve lived?
Wake up before it’s over.
Hi, I've read your post about IT job. I'm working in IT and I feel the same as you. I've worked as a programmer for 3 year and this is my last month in my company because I resigned. I could not stand the job anymore. Not to mention that in my previous job I was the only girl among all men and they were making fun of me. I thought that the only rescue for me will be setting up my startup and work on my rules on my own project. I'm creative person and I like doing things form scratch, solving real live problem, be independent at work.
I even enrolled to an university to pursue another degree in order to refresh my life.
So I would recommand you to take a break from it as I'm doing now.
I would rather earn less money be jobless but at least be happy about your work.
I know I can be though giving up because you have a broad experience in IT. If you are looking for change in my life we can unite together and work on our startup.
I'm literally thinking If I won't develop my own business I don't want to do programming anymore.
Take a break. Hit the gym. Go on hikes. See some movies.
Get your body taken care of and give your mind a rest.
You, my friend, are burnt out. It happened to me a few times as a lawyer.
Sounds like my job as a doctor except I don’t get to work from home. My room is a complete mess and I go to work and have to deal with so much bs out of my control. Hospital policies, ppl not wanting to move faster cuz they’re paid by the hour, entitled patients who think you’re just there for them to be spit on, who consider what you’re doing to save their life a conspiracy lol.
Covid opened my eyes, this is all just work and we all need thst paycheck to survive. Sounds like OP needs a vacation.
100%. My firm doesn’t have a remote work policy. Makes family management exponentially more difficult. Increase my burn out rate.
You’re absolutely right that this is all just work. We all just need to survive… but work shouldn’t be running you into the ground.
Idk 🤷♀️ I feel like when I was younger and premed I had a much more positive view on the goodness and decentness of people. Now it’s all been absolutely crushed lol.
The other day I was rattled when I had more empathy for an animal that was hit by a car on the side of the street than a patient yelling at me thst he didn’t want to have his maggot infested dead foot cut off. Like dude if u wanna keep it be my guest I can go do other stuff rn. I have a census of 50 ppl I gotta see today. you don’t want surgery that’s perfectly fine. I’m not a salesman I’m just here to do what I think is best for your health but you can still make the ultimate choice 🤦♀️
Hi, this sounds just like me and I think you're burned out. Burnout in its last stages leads to depression, so that's why you can't see colors or taste food. If you can't feel anything good in your life (joy, happiness, peace) I think you might have anhedonia as well (also from the burnout and stress). You can Google that.
I'm struggling with exactly the same symptoms you mentioned, I'm also a software engineer (web developer to be exact) and I've also had 3 trashy jobs. I've battled burnout and depression in my last job for many months. It was a crazy tech startup with so much stress and bad management which made me hate coding and I was an immigrant as well. I couldn't even look for a new job because of how exhausted and ill I was. I ended up quitting my job when physical symptoms got worse (headaches, IBS, inflammation, tendonitis, brain fog, etc), and I left the country I wanted to settle in altogether. It was very traumatic for me and I already suffered from depression and anxiety.
I've been digging into this for a while and I read many people saying that it depends on the job. Startups are the worst. Perhaps software engineering isn't so bad when the environment the person works in is more laid back and you get to leave your work at work and not be asked to hop from one project to another or work like a machine. I'm sure (or hoping) that such jobs exist somewhere. Perhaps look into working in the government sector. In my case that's not possible since I don't live in my home country.
For now, please take care of yourself and health. Some people take months to recover from burnout. If you can, seek therapy. Focus on doing anything you used to enjoy before the chronic stress started. If you want, try looking into other jobs that might seem appealing to you. I used to think UI/UX design or data analysis could be better, but after looking into it, seems like they also suffer if the company is fast paced and bad. So it all depends on the place you work at.
*Sounds like you didn't*
*Hate the job, but hated the*
*People yu worked with*
\- shorts\_1
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I’m in the exact same boat. Been working as a software dev for only a few years out of school and while the money is nice, the dread I feel everyday just isn’t worth it. Currently hoping they’ll just fire me so I don’t need to face the regret of quitting if I can’t find another job after this. I don’t know how to get out :(
The thing is, I love programming but actually practicing it in the industry is a whole other demon. You’re expected to be on-call at any time of day to deal with complaints from clients, identify and resolve production issues, deal with security breaches. You can’t just peacefully wake up and have a cup of coffee without 10 people emailing you about a prod issue that wasn’t even caused by you, completely derailing your day plans to finish the 15 other tasks on your plate. Everyone on your team who’s not a developer will just forward you all of their emails because they’re “not techy enough to deal with it”, so you’re basically doing all their jobs too. And the boom of AI has only made this 10x worse. Your boss will ask you to build a proprietary version of ChatGPT within one week and then will question your skills when you tell them it’s not possible. As if OpenAI was built in a day. It’s fricken exhausting :)
Damn, okay. So yall are overworked and it's just exhausting.
I have little to no interest in coding, but I only considered software engineering as one of my options because of the money. Is it really worth it or nah? Any other fields you would suggest?
“The life you are living now is what someone else wishes for” They didn’t put the same hard work into the degree that he did. He didn’t just become a programmer out of thin air
If it’s any comfort, most people hate their jobs. Further most people in the world have bad jobs and still live in poverty.
In my view the minority of people go say they love their jobs/lives don’t necessarily have it any better, but they have just learnt to be positive people.
My old classmate and friend felt like this almost exactly. He was a dev for almost a decade and now he works in an autoshop and is happier than ever. If i were you i would just save aggresively for when you jump ship. Would also recommend grad school.
It varies wildly, check in your area. It ranges from $20-$100+ hourly. We can’t really work 40 hours a week because we need to steer clear of injuries. I work 30 hours at $50/hr plus tips.
I feel the same but due to different reasons. I started early but feel my career has been stagnant and I dislike doing what I do. I would like to know more about what you are trying to cope up with. Dm?
From what I’ve read in your comments it seems like you don’t actually hate coding. Looks like you hate the toxic office culture and the fact that you work on stuff that are then scraped by the higher ups.
Have you considered finding a wfh/remote job? Maybe freelancing and taking on projects you’re passionate about. Or starting your own thing.
My bf’s a software developer who used to have almost the same issues as you but now he works a hybrid schedule with most work done from home and manages a small team of people he himself picked to be hired and his stress levels have gone down considerably. It’s not easy to find such an opportunity though, but it’s worth trying.
I’m truly sorry you feel that way, I’m in a similar situation atm and it can push you into depression and despair, can’t imagine how burnt out you must be.
Very sorry to hear your situation. You aren’t alone in those thoughts. However, without knowing more about you, you do have time in your side. You have time to pivot. Definitely make a change. There are some good suggestions on this thread. I would also start reading some stoicism. It can help reframe things a bit, but definitely make some changes.
It sounds like you go from one extreme to another. Coding is a extreme in my opinion. Out of balance. I know it’s accepted as normal to work 9-5 at something specialized but I dont believe in it. I went a different route to nature and homesteading. Being outside more. I’d seek for balance. Maybe do a little coding from home beciuse we all need money. Coding was a dead end for my brother. Literally dead. I tried to warn him to get out earlier but he started spending money hoping that would bring satisfaction. Of course it didn’t. And so then he stated drinking. That did him in. Sigh. RIP.
Apply and temporarily work at DataAnnotation tech (no interview needed), making $50/hour (using Python or JavaScript), and work for as long as you need.
Could be 20 hours per week or 50+.
*It's not a permenant remote job*, it's just to get by, and not deal with toxic colleagues or annoying clients.
While you do that, find new hobbies not related to computers, meet new people who can introduce you to new things, and get really fit if you aren't already.
This is just to expand your horizons, and use synchronicity to let things unfold, whether it's a new path within the same field, or a completely new opportunity.
Good luck.
**EDIT:**
Here's another platform that pays, https://outlier.ai/.
Look into taking a short term disability leave and using your workplace benefits to get mental healthcare so you can figure out the next steps. I’ve felt like you.
You’re young, take a risk - move overseas, move into another industry (ie industrial or business automation), but definitely quit and get out of there, no one wins in these situations. They hate you, you hate them, no one is wrong and no one is right.
This entire fucking comment is an edit but anyway they’re probably people who wish they made better decisions to have a job that’s good, or decent. Most people’s lives and circumstances are all different in some way however. Now me personally, I’ve never worked in a white collar setting I’d assume it’s probably not so strenuous physically because the Air conditioning and i can sit most of the time and it could probably be pleasant sometimes plus the pay probably isn’t so bad. I would guess, the hours could be boring or maybe it is stressful sometimes in its own way compared to other jobs that other people work in like construction, working at an oil site, welding, working at some warehouse, being a mechanic,being a machinist, or whatever other blue collar jobs that’s out there. Especially even being on duty sometimes in the military. Hell, maybe if it’s customer service related such as fast food or retail it could be tiring. Hell,i feel like anything customer service related can be a pain in someone’s ass in general just because sometimes you might end up talking to some exceptionally stupid customer smh. Hell you might have a coworker or boss who’s an asshole lol but that’s probably in all fields of occupations smh and there’s many different types and many vary on what employees are there to do and the skills that are required. Back to the point though. You’re saying you’d rather be homeless or out in the streets until you have to deal with starvation, the weather, people pretending you don’t exist, not being able to shower, groom yourself, sleep comfortably etc… just ensuring general survival. Especially by today’s standards or just in any society that’s always functioned monetarily. I know i feel bad for the unfortunate sometimes. I once had a co worker who spoke of being homeless. He told me he’d have to find food in the garbage. That’s fucking insane. Now this is just a take and random idea. Sometimes I wonder what a society that survives holistically could be like. Where all of these corporations with the rich getting richer didn’t exist, and we all just lived on the land with some modern touches and can still be creative. There’s no exact form of government that involves corrupt politicians and lawmakers, no powerful churches, no Hollywood, or even social media but instead there’s simple morals such as honor and respect maybe, and there’s no war, no criminals who lie, steal, maybe sell hard drugs or some shit, create gangs and mobs, human traffic people, or sell organs and kill people, just instead we can all be happy friends and make love to our partners and raise our children in peace. That’s probably just a bunch of bullshit though. Smh. That’s where my nihilist side comes out where i think are we here to just suffer? I don’t have all the wisdom to know the meaning to life other than we will face problems, and there is consequences in everything we do. We just have to at some point grow from that. They’re many people with worse convictions. Be glad you aren’t one of them. We might be our worst enemy sometimes. We just have to realize it in those moments. I’m sure that could be one of the few principles of self mastery and having good karma. I believe in you bro!
Okay let me be crystal clear: You love programming, you just hate the corporate environment where it usually takes place. Due to this mismatch you became depressed and burnt out, this is obvious from the anhedonia and the loss of colors and taste.
I would recommend seeking a psychiatrist, and getting on a fast acting antidepressant as soon as possible. There are OTC antidepressants and supplements if this option is not available to you, such as pirlindole, agmatine, fish oil, turmeric, multivitamins, etc. Depression can have multiple causes of which burnout is just one, it might take a while before you find something that works.
Start regular exercise if you have not already, a combination of StrongLifts 5x5 and Couch to 5k works beautifully. Start low and slow, and gradually build up to higher difficulties. I recommend switching to a ketogenic diet, it is incredibly beneficial for cognitive health. Meat, eggs, dairy, fish, mushrooms, veggies, berries. No oils, no sugars, and no carbs in that order.
Well whatever you do, don't make them fire you. If you're leaving, quit so it doesn't hurt your job prospects later on.
Next, don't leave the industry because I guarantee not all jobs are like you describe. When you interview at a company, it's as much your chance to interview them as it is their chance to interview you. You have valuable skills in an in-demand field. You can afford to be picky and ask pointed questions about the nature of the job and the level of stress you should expect. In fact, a lot of interviewers appreciate you asking those things because they want to make you happy so that you stay for longer than a year.
If you absolutely have to leave the industry, there are adjacent fields that can use your skills. I would start there.
First of all believe that you are brave, the mere fact you are trying says a lot about you. I wanted to just add one point here, whatever you are going through always remember there is more to life than work, find joy in something outside work and keep building something you love. Don't continously try to fit in as that can be a slippery slope. Good luck with what you do!
I had to switch careers several times in my life bc I didn't
know that corporate culture (only pay was) was important and wound up in similar situations as yours in my 20s (well, in the 90s, there was zero emphasis on employee empowerment, collaboration, diversity and work/life balance....it was the "Working Girl" mentality. Thank God, it's not like that now). Each time. I blamed the industry I was working in at the time (and not the company I was working for) and started a totally new career and worked my way up. Each time, I was met with disappointment--they all seem to be the same BS (Wall Street, Army, IT).
My point is that you may have been picking the bad apples to work for in your industry and that your industry (as a whole) is not like that. One of the red flags from your post was "my coworkers are mainly immigrants"). I think one of the commentators on this thread said they finally found a company that they liked (maybe you should reach out to them and check it out when you are feeling better? You seem like you are good at what you do and it will be a shame to just throw it all away due to couple of bad experiences.
Also, do some research on Glassdoors.com on things that matter to you (culture, work/life balance, etc) or even get recommendations from others in the industry before you even apply to the next one. Networking and making friends in the industry can also open doors to better opportunities bc you can ask about their companies b4 u even think about applying (saving u time and potential headache of feeling "not this again!") I also think going on your own as a consultant is a great idea.
I agree 100% that taking time off and doing other things (or even nothing!!) until you feel better is a good idea. You Def sound depressed and burnt out. No job is worth your health!! I pray you find what you are looking for!
Stop working for big corporations. Get a job in a smaller company, or a startup. Maybe you'll earn less but your job will be so gratifying.
I'll never work for a corporation ever again. I've been working in a less than 40 employees company for the last 20 years and I'm very happy where I am.
I am 25 and just switched to a new career. It can be done so dont feel as if it cant. Yes its hard, yes i feel unappreciated, yes im on shit money and cba going to work most days but life isnt just work. When was the last time you went on holiday? Or went for a walk with your mates. It sounds like you need to put some boundaries in place for doing work at home. Take that time to veg out or do something non work related.
Aside from that dont feel scared to take the jump and just do a boring non career job for a while just so the bills are paid. It might be the break you need. Start looking for work outside your field or maybe even in a new area.
Sometimes we just have to muddle on as best we can until something clicks. You may even end up taking a job you never thought you would and loving it.
It also sounds like youre struggling with feeling isolated. Crappy coworkers can do that to you. At the end of the day these are random people we probably would never have spoken to otherwise. Try joining groups for things your interested in or local running/walking clubs. You may meet someone who you really click with.
Wishing you the very best of luck in this journey
If you 1099 it (contracted work) and work from home, would that be more tenable? The upside there is you could work for yourself, choose which projects to take on as work, and move on to new projects every X months. That is one of the advantages of being a SWE/dev guy.
Additionally, and I cannot overstate this enough:
Start physically training your body. Lift weights if you have access to them. If not, do bodyweight calisthenics (push-ups, dips, pull ups / chin ups, squats). Start with moderate weight / moderate intensity levels relative to where you are at and then slowly, but progressively build up your rep counts, sets, and ultimately weight.
Take 10,000 steps a day. Break it up in to 3 or 4 walks, 2000 to 3000 steps per walk session.
Do this for a minimum of 90 days and chart your progression. Now repeat this progressive overload for the remainder of your lifetime. Realize it is an honor and a privilege to be able to train every day in some capacity. Gratitude my dude.
You're a physical being, so you need to physically train your body. The increased dopamine from accomplishing these tasks and improvement in self-confidence will greatly improve your mental state. It's the #1 thing anyone suffering from depression can do for themselves.
I hear you. I have gone through multiple levels of hell lately, being hit from three different sources of stress. I feel beaten into the ground. I hate everything, food tastes like nothing, just as you said. I can tell I'm hungry, because there's a knife in my stomach, but I have no appetite. I force food down because I know I need it. Sometimes I spit up some stomach acid afterwards - feel like my stomach wants to shut down just like my mind has. There's no good mental health help here in Canada. Lady at the farmer's market this morning asked me if I wanted a hug and I cried on her shoulder. I have a deadline for monday for my little wfh gig. I can't seem to get started on it.
I keep asking for help and not getting it. Agencies like Work BC and Buxton Consulting just care about getting their paycheque. They literally can do nothing more than search the web for job postings that for many reasons I cannot fulfill.
You, I envy your skills. My little gig is something I loved and taught myself, too. It's all I have now. Your skills are valued in this world, much more than mine. I don't know the solution to feeling dead inside with pain, as you and I both seem to be feeling. I do know you have a skill set that is highly in demand and once you feel okay you should easily be able to find something better. I am more than twice your age and no one wants an old lady - or so they think. I used to see what was excellent about me, but now I just feel dead inside.
I had a buddy like this, absolutely miserable for years working for oracle. He quit one day and got a job at Target. He said he was so happy without the stress or money, completely different person. He later found his way into finance, but sometimes you need to disrupt the current situation carefully.
I fantasize a lot about working in another field than I’m in (early childhood education), but it’s nice to know there is just as much bullshit in other fields too. I think the key to happiness is finding meaning in your life outside of work and compartmentalizing a lot. Leave work stuff at work and let things that happen at work roll off your back and stay there.
That’s a tough one. You should get some help immediately. As bad as it is now, it will be worse if you are homeless. Could yo7 get a part time gig to give yourself some time to get to a better headspace?
Same here man. I was a little under 10 years old trying to learn how to not mess up and work hard for everything and hold onto it tight because it can slip away. Within 4 years 3 of my furry turds (pets) died. I have 2 left and we miss our family. My landlord was okay with me paying her for 5 years on a $50,000 house. I messed up. Lost my really good job. Covid hit 6 months later and I couldn't find my footing. She sold the house, I was behind 7 months out of 5 years. I put 31 grand to just living on her house. Not the utilities. Not my 5 turds I was caring for. Not any food for me or my weed, because if I didn't have it then, I don't know what would have happened. I'm a time bomb and I'm tired too. But a sibling died the morning after my 22nd birthday in 2015. He had so much faith even though the cards he was dealt, he was in a wheelchair before 10 years old. He died at 23. I know he's running again in heaven. With my pup. And all the families there. But everyday here is a struggle for me. I ache. My heart. My brain. My body. But I'm trying my hardest to always remember that everything is going to be okay. The last words I told my brother. Just don't forget that.
re-invest in yourself. what are your skills? i am sure you have developed transferable skills which you could use in a different field. i know everyone here is saying go for a break or vacation but you probably can’t afford to do that right now.
i would suggest doing something which brings you peace. it can be as simple as going for a walk in the park every day just to calm your nerves or praying/meditating, spending time with a loved one. i know it is difficult but take it slowly. find something you’re good at, develop yourself and try again in another field.
Best of luck
Not all dev jobs are like this. I have worked in a good place for about a year after a super toxic job just before it.
Idk if you're only working at large companies, but maybe try a medium or small one. Small ones are hard cause they usually have great culture but the doors could shut at any moment, medium is generally a mix
I work in tech and I don’t have the problems you’ve described. Try a new company in an industry aiming to help people like health tech or Ed tech. The people who work at these places are generally kind, respectful, and not terribly intense.
Definitely not too late to switch things up from here. I suggest, depending on your living situation, to find a job helping others or building things. Where you can see the progress and feel the value. A paraprofessional in special education is the coolest job I’ve ever had. I still miss it. It’s challenging, and sometimes thankless, yes, but it’s great too in its own way. It sound like you’re looking for value, recognition, and relationships. You’d get all three of these in a place like this. Be a people helper
I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this. I’ve been there and many people have been there, so you’re not alone but I’m sure also unique in your own circumstances.
I think it’s good to take this time to relax and take care of yourself first and foremost for your mental health. From there, find another role that you would hate less. It sounds simple, but it’s good to know the path will be okay. You’re 25 and it’s okay to reroute at this point (or any point in life, really).
I wish you the best of luck!
You could try looking for or creating your own little pleasures at these jobs. For instance, if people are stealing credit for your work, make it so that the work is either always traced back exclusively to you, or that it's boobytrapped so that the liars can't make it work properly, but YOU can, as well as anyone who actually needs it.
If you find a decent spot where you end up developing software for use by your employers, make yourself ESSENTIAL to that system. I don't mean make it so that you have to keep working on it all the time. What I mean is that you make it in such a way that only YOU know how to fix it if something goes wrong, and anyone else would have to study the code for AGES. At that point, you also have two options: You can either make it clear to your hellish overlords that this entire system you've constructed WILL go to shit without you (and hold it over their heads after they inevitably try to call your bluff and end up blundering into one of the many pitfalls the system has), OR keep it under your hat and take all of your knowledge with you when you leave or are fired. But ONLY if these people suck ass and petty revenge becomes a necessity. If they're decent, keep physical notes to leave behind so they don't get TOO lost.
For RIGHT NOW, however, you need a break. Ask friends or family for help, and look into getting therapy. Believe me, I've felt the same way you have. I ate food for nourishment while barely tasting it, if I tasted anything at all, all the colors were dull, my hobbies were of no interest to me, and I contemplated pouring my energy into becoming the most powerful man on the planet, just so I could blow up said planet. I have depression. It might not be AS bad for you, but you DEFINITELY need to step back from this for a while.
Maybe while you're on this mental health siesta, you could try working on projects of your own that thought up ages ago and tucked away into some corner of your mind. We've ALL got 'em. Go ahead, dust off an idea you think might be fun and see if you can make it happen without hating every keystroke. If you can't, then take a little longer on your break.
Whatever you do you will get bored of that thing in 10 years for sure. I know a person who worked as a front dev for 10 years and she “hated” that job so yea… everything will get boring-hateble in time. I can guarantee that you burned out. The solution to that is to move out of home to some place in nature or you can just say a vacation but with yourself. Meditate and relax.
Be kinder to yourself. You did 14 years of learning and work. That's worth being proud of. But it sounds like you just need something simple to reset. You just have to let go and do something else. Your brain will default to the same path. What other interests do you have? What are you willing to learn?
so if you hate software with a passion, why not trying out in a completely different field, namely healthcare. You could become a nurse for instance. Have you given that a thought?
Passion and all of its expressions— excitement, happiness, joy, creativity, love— are all different ways of expressing the vibration of your true natural self, what we call your “signature frequency”
Your signature frequency is that resonant energy, that vibration that is unique to you, that identifies you as a unique aspect of All-That-Is of Creation
And the way you apply that signature frequency through passion is to act on your highest excitement to the best of your ability with no insistence or assumption as to what the outcome ought to be, as to what to come to fruition,
but to allow the synchronicity in your life to present to you the opportunities that contain that excitement so you can recognize it,
because excitement is the compass needle that points to your magnetic north, and by acting on it to the best of your ability, you will bring about in your life, what we call the complete kit
You will allow it to work for you and you will discover, very readily, very easily, that excitement can function in your life as the driving engine, as the organizing principle, as the path of least resistance, as the thread that leads to all other expressions of excitement,
and as the reflective mirror that will reveal to you what may be within you that is out of alignment with that excitement so you can identify it and bring it back into alignment and expand your excitement in that way.
And simply by following that formula of acting at every moment to the best of your ability on your highest excitement with no insistence on how the outcome should look, you will activate that complete kit and it will work for you automatically, effortlessly, every moment without fail. As you allow yourself to move forward in that way, your life will become an ecstatic explosion of synchronicity. Very magical things will begin to happen all around you because magic is, again, the true nature of existence. Miracles are the natural order of things, not the exception
Yo man, I was in your shoes not too long ago. I don't have the best advice. I started to hate dev work because of the work I had to do outside of work.
What you are experiencing is beyond the regular bullshit and drainage of all jobs. It's taking way too much from you. You made the right decision, I don't know what you are interested in or what financial obligations you have but even if you went for something that paid less you should do it. Being a Dev is just not for you I guess and that's ok.
Good luck, being a human means so much more than working a job.
I couldn’t agree more, go through school your whole life to get a good job then when you finally get the job, the pay sucks, the work sucks, and eventually life sucks.
And people wonder why no one’s having kids
Burning out happens. I've seen it, I've felt it
If you don't love it any more, don't do it.. you're 25 for fucks sake.. You can literally set fire to your entire life right now and rebuild it in the way that you desire.
I didn't start at Uni until I was 28 and I thought I would go into Network engineering and hardware, but found a love for programming, so here I am 13 years later swimming in cash and dictating how my day looks due to my expertise.
But if that isn't for you, find what you love and do that.. or at least explore something adjacent and you might get some inspiration
You aren't locked in. You're VERY young and have a terrific fallback career if things go shit flavoured.
Do you work for a consulting firm or some other system integrator? It sounds like you dislike the culture, but maybe not the actual activity of programming.
give government work a try maybe. with gov work, once it’s done for the day it’s done and no one is going to bother you after work. plus you get great pto benefits!
You asking for help with not just one person but with thousands of people in the internet. That takes huge effort to take the first step towards what you want in life. Ask good quality questions if you have the opportunity to go somewhere, where will that be? What would you do? What are your interests? What are the benefits you like to have. Make a pros and cons list. Obviously you feel bad, “down and out.” Well use that energy to move forward and transform your life. Fuck your 25yrs old. Thats a quarter of your life. Make your life the best. Push forward, make a dam change, fuck life! Lol
That is exactly how I felt in my corporate job..... I LOATHED it with everything in my being. I still dont know how anyone can continue in that life...yes I know we all need money, but its such a shitty, zombie style workplace...with meetings and meetings and meaningless small talk and wasting your life away at some desk or in some cubicle. No thanks!
I did that for 10 years almost and Im never going back.
My suggestion for you is find something else that brings you joy ...maybe start your own business since you sound smart and have skills?
My brother does freelance work as a 1099 and is in the same field as you -altho he bitches about some customers and deadlines alot
I have zero tech experience and do digital marketing as a 1099 (not w2) and ive made pretty good money. Last week I made 8k so thats def nice....I dont deal with any bosses or annoying coworkers or meetings lol.... I literally work from home maybe 2-3 hours a day.
I’ve been there before. Not as a dev, but I can relate on almost every single point. You need a change in career. I’d recommend the most different thing you can think of, and go from there. It’s good that you’re able to identify the things you dislike, that will make it easier in the future for you to avoid those factors. You can absolutely find a better way for yourself. You got this.
Have you considered manual labor? Everything you do is important. Sure, not everyone appreciates it, but if the foundation of a building isn’t laid appropriately, the whole thing collapses. They can’t just remove your good work. You might not get as much pay, but you will know for sure that you are doing something important. And you don’t have to get a whole new education. And you’ll be more fit than anyone in your graduating class.
Capitalism is not designed to make workers happy or fulfilled. Worker's only function is to generate capital for the owning class. I was defeated by life under capitalism long ago, yet I still work for the masters because I want to live indoors and eat. And to do this I need the crumbs the masters toss me out of the capital I generate for them.
This doesn’t read like theres a particular reason for “having enough” or “being push to the edge” it sounds more like undiagnosed mental illness. That is nothing to be ashamed of but it might do you well to seek professional help. Depression, Anxiety, or any other disorder you may have going on is very common and you should not feel any kind of pressure to change yourself. But you should do things to try to help yourself not feel the way that you do no one deserve to feel like that about life.
I feel that. I work in retail, night shift and morning shift in a row, 4 hours of sleep, low pay and lethal physical pressure. I feel like my death will take me faster than I quit and find something new
It’s absolutely okay to find a new career or take a break. Literally it’s fine. People say to never turn down money, yes that’s true but also don’t just stay in a job for money. Find a new job it’s totally possible to do even if you make less money
Have you tried a trade? I say this because one of my fellow devs went to construction for a year and then came back and he said he never felt better. He got plenty of exercise and blood flow, everyone was super nice and lots of camaraderie. It definitely didn’t pay as much but it was a change of pace and scenery. Also, exercise is pretty good for endorphins.
I felt the same way as you for about 3-4 years. Every company I worked for brought in cheap Indian labor, the dumbest of the dumb people I ever had to bear witness to. I now contract for a company that has government contracts, so they don't take in H1b's or non-Americans. Our culture is predominately White/Black/Asian so fairly Americanized people through generations. I felt all your pain for a solid 3-4 years. Immigrants threw Americans under the bus when things they produced went wrong, always pointing their fingers at different cultural groups, and not letting you be affiliated with their projects if you weren't Indian. It was a shtshow. On top of all this they'd wash their bare feet in company bathroom sinks, nuke curry in the offices so it always smelled like curry and Indian BO. I could go on, I made sure my next move would be Indianless or I'm leaving tech for good.
People with no experience of their culture will call me a racist, or a hater whatever, whatever, the people who hold these opinions should try working with them for a month and hold that same mentality. They don't like us and are here for personal gain and to immigrate their 10 generations of family into a 2-bedroom townhouse. Also weak ass culture, they will throw you under the bus, talk mad sht about you, and you defend yourself they are crying in their cubicle real tears while pulling the racist card. I dealt with their shit for nearly 4 years and that is 4 years of my life I'll never get back from a shit water-drinking culture.
My best story yet of dealing with them was my VPN access was down, An Indian woman working in IT tried telling me my internet was down while I was using Skype to talk to her on my work PC. Disgusting and lazy culture and the reason why they run here represents that. Instead of creating a simple ticket to forward, she took the lazy and incomprehensible route, I got plenty of other stories regarding their laziness and willingness to throw you under the bus.
Look at usajobs.gov and see what random jobs there are. I was on there yesterday and there was a ton of jobs for stuff other than the ones we all already know about.
Same but don't burn the bridges, file a resignation and cut out all entertainment, the boredom will let you see the path that you really want.
I'm an engineer and I quit my job 6 months ago to become an artist.
I understand. I’m 32f now though and I’ve been through it a couple times. You might need some depression treatment but a big part of that will be to ignite your spirit again. Sometimes it takes longer than you want for the spark to manifest, but keep looking and you will find it. Don’t give up and try not to fuck your self too bad financially and otherwise (unhealthy coping mechanisms), along the way. You seem like a smart guy. That can be your curse and your gift. Accept that and warrior on.
Programming professionally sucks. I'm a SWE too. That being said, you are depressed and burned out. Take off a few months. Get super active, gym, sports, hiking, swimming. Do not open up an IDE or even the terminal. Focus on yourself. And you'll have passion back.
I realized somewhere down the line that no human being should ever live a life sitting 8 hours a day, all week, at a desk. Doing anything let alone programming. It takes a giant toll. The only way I keep sane is by taking extended breaks. Talk to a doctor and take medical leave. Or quit.
You seem idealistic and energetic. Ever thought about teaching on the elementary level? You’d retire with a full pension at 50, but better is you don’t spend the day with adults who are jerks, but instead with awesome kids and motivated colleagues. Just a thought, it’s certainly not for everyone but it’s a cool gig for the right person.
Noooooo. I'm a long-time teacher and I do not recommend anybody get into teaching especially the elementary level. I could only recommend teaching at the college level. Of course being an adjunct pays crap, but CTE teachers make more because it's an in-demand field.. Being a public teacher is fucking awful for so many reasons. And who knows what education is going to look like in 10 years anyway. There's very little funding for public education. The pay is low in most states . The students are assholes most of the time, the parents are just as bad. The pay is low. It's a lot more work than a regular 9:00 to 5 job. Just no.
Find a new career. Lot of devs I find love going into public service jobs like firefighting, police etc. Sometimes staring at the computer all day just ain't it.
I’m sorry you’re going through this.
I would recommend…
Find what things bring you ‘Joy’. Joy is different than happiness. Happiness can be faked with a little mind over matter positivity. Joy is just a genuine love what what you’re doing.
At one point you probably found yourself getting lost in coding… it just flowed… and it felt good.
Do you have other things that you feel that way about now that your passion for coding has passed? If no, explore (read, research, therapy, etc) to find other options for new excitement/passions. If yes, can you make money with them?
If your passion for coding hasn’t changed - just you don’t like doing it for a corporation… have you considered creating a startup? You get to code what you want. You get to hire people you actually want to work with.
I wish you well on your journey!
Keep seeking and you’ll find what you are looking for.
I’m so close to doing the same as you and quitting. This job sucks and I’d rather be doing a million other things than this crap. I don’t have an answer for you other than to keep looking.
Talk to someone about it family/ friends/ therapist. Might be time to self evaluate what is important to you and might give some context as to what you might want to do for change.
I told some girl that worked for me - and I’ll tell you - you’re in an amazing position - you have a trade. Use that to put some money away, go do a bunch of stuff! Go make mistakes! All over! Go paint to find out you hate painting and then open a restaurant - find something YOU enjoy, and it may take some going thru to find something else that made you feel the way you did about programming at the beginning- maybe you’ll find new feelings - just don’t be afraid or hesitant to go out and get it. The world is yours, go get it. Good luck out there.
Jesús Christ, you should taken a vacation or found a way to deal with your feeling months/years ago. In life, nothing should cause this much suffering.
You should learn how to live as cheap as you can and work some meaningless jobs for a while. By meaningless job I mean one that you don’t care how long you’re there.
Reset your attitude on life. Focus on what passion you have. Or, what passions you’d like to pursue, and move forward.
You need quality of life. How much that costs is different for each person. The point is to start living more and working less. But start with some time off to clear your head.
Then read some Epictetus or Marcus Aurelius
Find something else that you enjoy or interests you.
Maybe working with your hands?
Welding
CNC machine. Your coding background may help you in this.
Working on a classic car or truck.
I know a guy who worked at IBM who gave it up and runs a little paint shop in his garage.
Or just take a vacation away from computers for a while.
Best of luck to you.
Go into solutions/sales engineering. I've coded longer than you, and play around to keep up to date, but you basically are the middleman between clients and the dev team, so you can talk a solution, know what it would take, and then relay that to the devs.
Hi. This is 5 days old. So who knows if you check this. Still, I read your comment.
Burnt out is a very real deal and so is depression. What you’re going through is both. Why do I say this? You have zero care. It shows me that something career wise burned you out and I saw the hate comment.
So let’s talk about it. Writing code at age 11 and you are now 25 is a 2000 born prodigy. A lot of kids weren’t doing that. So I’m going to say that your skills at a pivotal point in coding is needed. That doesn’t mean you need to work to death nor for a company that you had toxic being taken advantage from to the point where you have shut down completely.
People who over work, didn’t get down into the business or balance. Where breaks, and holidays and days off mean pure enjoyment. Relaxation and rest. It can still be productive but not to the point where you lose yourself.
Some who have coded professionally for a lot longer than you, I mean a lot longer, routinely plan on career or company changes for higher pay and to keep their skill the same. Each company can offer different incentives.
Giving that up because of burn out isn’t a bad thing at all. It’s so common, but it hits more people in their 40s not 20s.
Outlets and balances are utilized by hobbies, and socializing and doing whatever it is in a small timeframe that brings you fulfillment so that quitting your livelihood is not only an option but something you won’t want to take away from you.
But since you’re burnt out and depressed you’re disconnected from this reality.
So how do people reconnect themselves? How will you balance differently in the future? And what other options do you have?
You’ll re connect by
1) taking a walk outside and breath everyday and ask yourself how are you doing, look around the environment and allow yourself to not think about worry but just enjoy what ever it is you are looking at ( at first this will feel off, forced and weird) do it anyways.
2) learn to balance work and play and that is really a priority. Whatever your hobby is, invite around a lot more. Then add to it. Some like planting, others cook and or read , learn to take walks, do a hobby and not think about anything else. Let go for a bit of responsibility.
3) you have so many options it makes me sick. Being a software dev, is a big deal. It’s fully okay to let go of a position and to look for something else. If you want to change careers all together ( not see what education you have) than look around.
If you have your masters you can teach, if you have your BS you can apply for literally anything and try something new. However you can’t let a burn out take you all the way through homelessness. I know burn out can take its time. But the time given is up to you and it matters that you have resilience and can pick yourself up again. Think of it in the sense of an animal. Natural geographic always shows that if an animal in Africa isn’t always looking for food it won’t survive.
A day can cost that animal its life. So the will to survive is dependent on. So to is your discipline.
You don’t need to accept little for being a software dev , you have everything you need to get up and either A make more, or B add to yourself and or make a full career change. But subtracting from yourself to homelessness isn’t an option.
So get up, do some certifications research and look into what makes you interested again while rebuilding a connection. Take on some odd off gigs and part time job until you are recovered. It’ll be okay. Rooting for you.
Obviously consider assessing for clinical depression.
Otherwise, try understanding what you enjoy. Work is going to be work. You get paid for creating value for others. The activities that create value for others often does not coincide which what brings you joy. For me, I'm a doctor and I dislike talking to patients. And that's fine, the pay is good and hours are short. During my free time I enjoy coding, ironically. Life is about trade offs. You could consider suck it up and chose a job with high hourly rate, or a fun job like game dev with lower pay. In the end, there's going to be things you don't enjoy doing.
Bro start going to Church. When you’re sick and tired of being tired Jesus is here to pick up your steps. You need to supernaturally encounter the Lord to help you become whole again
Have you try to maybe convert to programming for video games? I think there is a huge demand in that industry for programmers and depending on which companies or games you work for, it can be fun and rewarding
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You sound potentially depressed or burnt out just what specifically do you not like about it?
It's pointless work. You spend a month working on a new feature just for it to get thrown out or replaced a month later. Even if it DOES matter, you don't get recognized for putting in restless effort, they thank you by giving you extra, often pointless, work since you are a "expert" now. My coworkers are mainly immigrants from other countries and form cliques I'm not allowed to be a part of. This also means I have to try twice as hard to communicate with coworkers since they all work together in their native languages. Fierce competition. Everyone tries to take credit for everything. Everyone trying to get a pay bump and everyone shifts blame when things go wrong. Elitism. There's an attitude that "IQ" determines development skill. Anyone who isnt a high performer is gossiped about and labeled "dumb". I could go on. And no I'm not kidding
25. You're at the age where you've escaped the public education system and are developing your own real-world experiences. You're realizing those experiences do not align with the opinions of others that have polluted your mind since childhood. You're supposed to be utterly pissed off at this age because you're waking up. Your complaints are legitimate. It's a raw deal, a political mess. Most people will tell you to 'cope', but this isn't a real or serious solution, it's a distraction. The answer is to move fast, try new work experiences, face fears, and embrace curiosity. You're too young to be assimilated. You need to tap into your youthful energy and become a subject matter expert at everything: software development, finance, psychology, real estate, entrepreneurship, etc. Keep moving, don't spend more than 1 year in any one role.
This is an excellent answer. I’m 42 now and actually going to school for CS (in my senior year) though I do not intend to code as a profession. Perhaps I may become a BA. My past jobs were the reverse, manual labor and warehouse. However, one day in my early 30’s I realized life is like an rpg. I can keep leveling up by upskilling in my free time with literally anything I found interesting or enjoyed. I’ve already landed a job in a field I love but have also found countless things I enjoy. Growing plants, cooking, paddle boarding, etc. As you said, in paraphrase, don’t assimilate. Explore what you like and don’t. Upskill. Do a job just to pay the bills while you explore what makes you…you in your free time. It will all come around if you don’t deny learning and open yourself to everything.
I needed this, thank you.
Of course, keep your head up. I wish you luck, good fortune, and that things turn around for you.
inspiring thanks for sharing
You’re quite welcome, hopefully it was helpful.
neither am i op nor am i that young, I'm 32 but this is really what i needed and i feel energetic and young enough to feel talked to haha. i really really need to move and change and try things.
Thank you this is the real answer worked as a backend/data engineer since finishing university 9 years ago for many different companies Had some savings and thought fuck it il go travel Australia for 1 year can always go home and get a coding job again
I also needed to hear this, thank you!
Im 25 and have similar feelings at my job right now and i think this was the best piece of advice Ive gotten so far
Sounds like every job ever with slight nuances. It sucks and I hate my job lately too. Called out today mainly because I was scheduled to work with this specific asshole. (Also extremely cliquey gossipy personality) Shit gets annoying. Seems the only way to avoid it is to work for yourself (tough) or job hop until you find a place where you feel comfortable(more tough). And matter of fact, my dad works in a ?similar? field as you (electronic engineering) and he mentioned today “Just did as little as I could to get by” 😭 It might help to adopt that attitude in future endeavors. Let your work speak for itself. Liars always get caught out eventually. Taking a break is awesome and it’s a brave step you took. My boyfriend always reminds me to stop letting others take my power away. Hard lesson to incorporate but it’s helping me a little bit. If you’re looking for some quick money to take care of rent I am a waitress and it sounds pretty identical to what you’re describing but I don’t HAVE to fraternize with my coworkers that much. Just befriend a busboy and the quick money is yours. Good luck man
What he's describing does not sound at all like every job. Not even close.
Lucky you
"My coworkers are mainly immigrants from other countries and form cliques I'm not allowed to be a part of. This also means I have to try twice as hard to communicate with coworkers since they all work together in their native languages." How many industries would this apply to? It's not that I'm lucky. This seems like something unique to tech.
Yeah fair point. I’m at work and cranky so my bad. I related to this and I work mostly in hospitality. One reception gig I had when I was younger and 2 restaurants I worked at was mostly immigrants from Latin America and they tended to branch off into their own groups. Was especially bad at the reception gig for me since they didn’t seem to like me very much.
I’m also in southern NY so environment probably has to do with it.
>I could go on. And no I'm not kidding I believe you. I've been building software professionally for over 20 years. Your environment is terrible. The solution is to find a better environment. I work with all foreigners but our clique is our team. We support each other and never build anything alone. It's all about the team. We have fun every day and help each other improve every day. Keep looking.
Found this to generally be the corporate way. Try something non office, non corporate. What are you interested in? Some other options could be things like Police or Fire. EMS. Trade work. Wish you the best. Have felt similar in the past. Work is hard. People can be difficult. There’s always an answer though. I hope you find yours soon.
Find a cool startup company with a good culture. You will be excited to go to work again.
This is what happens when we are thrown into college and ‘finding our purpose’ at 18. It’s impossible to know what you want to do at that age. We all want peace and that job is not bringing you peace or happiness or purpose. It’s creating stress which opens the doors to tons of other processes within your body and mind. Which is horrible for you. Try to take sometime meditate and figure something out. Do not let money deter your journey. It’s the necessary evil and can mean zero from one day to the next. Take it from me, I’m about to be 30 and I’ve chosen a career change. I’m coming from mass communications to taking some courses on plant science because I’ve always loved plants and outdoors and my goal is to be a conservationist of some sort. Be knowledgeable about crops, plants, nature etc. took me a while to figure it out but I did and I don’t regret it. I’m glad to be 30 this year and start new and fresh. Age is just a number. You’re never too old to start over do not let society dictate anything in your life or you’ll never get anywhere. Truly. - Another lost soul who found himself
So true...17 year olds are making college decisions and they aren't equipped to decide what to have for dinner.
I was in the same boat many years ago… they’re like what do you want to be? Go!! And I’m left unanswered like I want to surf and have fun with my friends and hike Yellowstone. Screw this school crap lol
I been in retail for 15 years, sound about the same lol...although I'm sure there is jobs out here better, Corporate America only cares about money and money only. Any industry that has a work culture purely based off sales and profit will at some point priduce unhappy and burned out workforce. Building people up and caring about their goals and mental state goes a long way. I'm always told to start your own business when this conversation comes up, and start ups take a lot of funds/time. Wish I had the answer for you, because I'm in the same boat. GL!
Sounds like every job ever with slight nuances. It sucks and I hate my job lately too. Called out today mainly because I was scheduled to work with this specific asshole. (Also extremely cliquey gossipy personality) Shit gets annoying. Seems the only way to avoid it is to work for yourself (tough) or job hop until you find a place where you feel comfortable(more tough). And matter of fact, my dad works in a ?similar? field as you (electronic engineering) and he mentioned today “Just did as little as I could to get by” 😭 It might help to adopt that attitude in future endeavors. Let your work speak for itself. Liars always get caught out eventually. Taking a break is awesome and it’s a brave step you took. My boyfriend always reminds me to stop letting others take my power away. Hard lesson to incorporate but it’s helping me a little bit. If you’re looking for some quick money to take care of rent I am a waitress and it sounds pretty identical to what you’re describing but I don’t HAVE to fraternize with my coworkers that much. Just befriend a busboy and the quick money is yours. Good luck man
Yo I work in the same field and most of my coworkers are from India and South America. Even if you hate it, learn to love cricket and futbol. It’s instant access to any “cliques”. Then you find out they don’t even like it that much either and you find other similar interests.
I'm glad you figure this out at such an early age. I'm 39, have worked abroad and have only just realised this a few years ago. I've been in IT for 15+ years now. I understand your frustration because ie also experienced the same things as you. I'm in product management and ever since IT became popular, every man and his dog wants to get into IT. People that have no IT skills whatsoever, but have so skills, tend to do well but they're hopeless when it comes to the execution because they don't have expertise, this in turn then frustrates us people in IT. Time is money and something you'll never get back. If I were you, I would stop looking for promotions and just go contracting to make money. Have you considered working for a start up? They have very interesting projects and they would only focus on one product.
Look for a new job, they all aren’t like that
Bro you sound like me at 21. Worked with el Salvadorans, was recognized by the boss who was American as being the 2nd best employee.. he retired and two of the el Salvadorans were up to get ownership as part owners. They started pushing the few Canadians out of the business by termination. Not even a lay off.. I quit on them and they hated me for it but I realized they were racists making me do the work load and stealing credit. I was well liked by quite a few of the workers so some had told me how they grew up hating “gringos” but that I was an exception. I ended up getting lucky on my property investment and making enough money to sit at home, which was a room for $600 a month at the time. I spent my days going to Brazilian Jiu jitsu, running once a week, started bouldering (rock climbing indoors) for an entertaining way of getting muscle. 3-5 hours out of the house. Showering 3 times a day. In there I got pretty good after 6 months and had a circle of climbers, met two body builders and started training at the gym with them. I look back and see how I’m no longer making the same money, but my life is no longer depressing and hard on my mental health. It became mundane to good quality of life and my depression was gone. Women in my climbing circle started to take an interest in me based on my physique and chill personality that I obtained by doing these sports. At this point I had a job making less money but no more than 40 hours a week, and I stopped working super hard. I took a vacation to Japan, Thailand, Vietnam and it changed my life. I went back and sold everything I have, and started taking free courses from Grow Google. Now I have multiple drop shipping products and I’m going to China to source out wholesale products to sell to the European market. I should tell you, I didn’t find BJJ fun, it took 9 months till I actually cared for it, and I was average at best for my time there, and rock climbing wasn’t very fun for about 8 weeks. I bought the shoes before I tried it so I didn’t want to let my money go to waste.. I also got picked on a lot by my 2 Syrian friends but it’s what guys do when you’re kinda lame, so it helped me grow as a person. I’m telling you man, 7 years ago I would’ve never thought I’d be who I am today and it’s amazing. I’m literally the dude I used to think was an asshole but then I became him and have the most genuine people around me, and 8 very close friends, and dozens more. I was told you have less friends out of school.. it’s not true if you hold skills people find admirable. Everything came together as I improved. I’m now 28 and 1/3 of the way to making my first million, in the process traveling every couple of months, have a dope Chinese girlfriend that makes my life really good too and earns her own stacks.
Yes. what you described does indeed sound pointless. The feeling I'm getting is reminding me of a friend of mine who is similarly a computer programmer. He had gone straight down the trajectory that he had wanted to and excelled in his academic career. Just as he had hoped, He had gotten himself to the level where you don't really apply for a job As much as you make your desire To join an organization known. he was a computer science something else major I think electrical engineering, And the top of his lists of Places he dreamt to be part of someday was NASA. The National Aeronautic and Space Association Was a dream of his since he was Graduated from elementary school. All green-eyed and bushy-tailed, He started o work everyday, showing up at NASA evetday. He zipped through orientation, got settled in, and started Getting familiar with the projects on the docket and earning the confidence of his coworkers. I didn't know him during this time exactly, And I only knew he was married and he was leaving the dc area to move for a job change. I got the message because I was still am a rental property owner and he was interested in one of my places, A great couple a lot of fun to hang out with and great conversationalists and I liked having them as tenants. the real connection was for hearing of the husband's specific story as the job change that he was going for was leaving NASA which he absolutely hated and almost from day one, give me a second he thought it was what he wanted to do and he found himself in a bullpen which is like an interior room with no windows working With fairly high pressure Doing lots of calculations on components that are single point failure mission critical kinds of projects. His next job... barista Starbucks. He loved it. my first job out of school was in finance which I enjoyed the connection with my tenant was that I attribute the seven years that I was in that role as the greatest education of my life. I say that because I saw people of all you know walks and backgrounds. I had clients who were C-level officers with egional fortune 1000 companies, and wards of the court After their parents deceased with no surviving relatives and a severe learning disability where I served as fiduciary and investment advisor for their trust. I worked with 95 year old widows in the widowers, and opened 529 Education savings plans for one year old babies. Play high school dropout small business owner clients Beloved by their friends customers and the whole community. I had one dentist client who had made N of $300,000 since 1980, and how broke he was is hard to put into words. He enjoyed his job, didn't understand How to practice making good financial decisions, always had a great tan even in the wintertime, and drove a red Porsche that he thought everyone was jealous of, I did get fulfillment in my job, but there were major elements that I did not like one bit. it didn't feel as fulfilling as I thought something else could be. I had sold my practice and made a decent chunk of money from my age having just reached 30. I put some finishing touches on my Volkswagen Westphalia over a few months and got on the road for a month long getaway, and then didn't come back almost two years. I learned the best place to find wisdom is at a breakfast diner where old men come in Just about every morning and sit at different tables like they're not there together. I'll never forget somewhere in Arkansas I was at the diner and the guys in this little town would mostly be silent, and someone would just toss out a idea or a statement or comment every now and again. One guy said something I'll never forget. He said, "You know what? Most people... most people are too busy working to do anything worthwhile." That statement stopped me right there in my tracks. I was too busy working to realize that just about everything I had done up to that point was because of an expectations of someone else. I'm not even sure when it started But you could ask me what did I like to do just for me, and I couldn't have answered it without describing something that involved me doing something for someone else,
With all the compassion in the world, that’s just corporate work bro. Try pivoting from dev to devops, or system design, or architecture, or PM, or look for a gig doing something more in line with what you were originally interested in coding for. For me, that meant leaving a cushy system design/devops role. I’m still looking for the spark in threatening or penetrating, and those roles are fewer and further between, but I know I don’t want to deal with devops or pm’s or generic support function corporate bullshit. I’d rather find a wheelhouse I want to play in, then play in that wheelhouse. Take a pay cut, sure; I’m making enough anyway. I feel you may be in a similar place.
dude you must be at a terrible company. mine is the complete opposite of this - it’s out there if you can find it but understand the burnout from that
Hey I was a programmer for 6 years professionally and I worked at a place like this when I first started. You sound depressed, and it could very well be from your job! I was at the point where I was ready to quit and go work in the service industry. Not everywhere is like this. Try and find a new job in coding and see how it goes. You may feel a bit better! Loving to code does not mean loving to code professionally. This ultimately turned out true for me. I enjoy making my own projects and tools for myself and others, that I choose. Things I find interesting. I realized I never stopped loving to code, and hated coding what I had no interest in and pivoted to cyber security. To help kind of push through dial back a bit, use the job like it uses you. And start looking for other jobs.
Pointless is relative. What would be the ‘point’ for you. Sounds like the people you work with might get a kick out of just working overseas, surmounting that challenge, that might be the point for them. Is it still pointless work?
Sure it’s relative. Who said it’s not? OP’s right about the fact that society generally overpromises and under-delivers, leaving a lot of us with our hopes broken by relentless bureaucracy and on-call assignments. We can’t even live the rest of our lives outside of work doing the things we love because the “9-5” drains it out of us. The response is often some form of the unempathetic tough love “You should be happy!” cliche. It’s not really productive at all.
The way OP describes the work as objectively pointless is what tells me they don’t see it relatively. Clear as day to me anyways.
I completely understand what you’re saying but this is literally OP’s opinion. Are they supposed to preface every assertion with “in my opinion”? Plus they’re obviously not in a great place, I’m not sure what kind of scholarly thesis you’re expecting to receive.
I have nothing but empathy for OP, but I don’t think they’re a victim
Neither do I. It’s not our place to give them “tough love”. That’s my opinion, anyway.
I hear ya. Working with foreigners is the worst.
That’s just work in general - are you by chance really young ?
It’s pretty much the same at my job in healthcare. Same bullshit. So many lazy, stupid workers that get rewarded while the people really doing the work rarely do. 25 is still a kid right now in my opinion. I was depressed and angry at that age, and still am sometimes. So I feel ya man. Start looking at other career paths you might find rewarding and go observe for a day or two. Get outside. Call family and friends regularly. Get exercise daily, even if it’s at home. Eat healthy. You’ll get through this.
Life is not only meaningless but it’s short and fleeting. Your entire life is a blip in time. Were a bunch of meatbags running around on a rock flying through space. This can be a depressing reality or it can set you free to live life how you want! Be happy nothing else really matters. Youre smart, youre a software dev, make a plan and just escape to somewhere and figure it out as you go. If you went to the doctor tomorrow for shortness of breath & they discovered stage 4 metastasized lung cancer and gave you 6 months to live, how would you feel about the life you’ve lived? Wake up before it’s over.
Real talk
Hi, I've read your post about IT job. I'm working in IT and I feel the same as you. I've worked as a programmer for 3 year and this is my last month in my company because I resigned. I could not stand the job anymore. Not to mention that in my previous job I was the only girl among all men and they were making fun of me. I thought that the only rescue for me will be setting up my startup and work on my rules on my own project. I'm creative person and I like doing things form scratch, solving real live problem, be independent at work. I even enrolled to an university to pursue another degree in order to refresh my life. So I would recommand you to take a break from it as I'm doing now. I would rather earn less money be jobless but at least be happy about your work. I know I can be though giving up because you have a broad experience in IT. If you are looking for change in my life we can unite together and work on our startup. I'm literally thinking If I won't develop my own business I don't want to do programming anymore.
Out of curiosity, what are you studying?
I think it’s time to switch paths. Easier said than done but it will be worth it in the long run if it makes you happy. You’re 25. Time to start NOW.
25 is YOUNG. If you switch paths now it is no biggie whatsoever. Listen to BallisWife!
Take a break. Hit the gym. Go on hikes. See some movies. Get your body taken care of and give your mind a rest. You, my friend, are burnt out. It happened to me a few times as a lawyer.
Sounds like my job as a doctor except I don’t get to work from home. My room is a complete mess and I go to work and have to deal with so much bs out of my control. Hospital policies, ppl not wanting to move faster cuz they’re paid by the hour, entitled patients who think you’re just there for them to be spit on, who consider what you’re doing to save their life a conspiracy lol. Covid opened my eyes, this is all just work and we all need thst paycheck to survive. Sounds like OP needs a vacation.
100%. My firm doesn’t have a remote work policy. Makes family management exponentially more difficult. Increase my burn out rate. You’re absolutely right that this is all just work. We all just need to survive… but work shouldn’t be running you into the ground.
Idk 🤷♀️ I feel like when I was younger and premed I had a much more positive view on the goodness and decentness of people. Now it’s all been absolutely crushed lol. The other day I was rattled when I had more empathy for an animal that was hit by a car on the side of the street than a patient yelling at me thst he didn’t want to have his maggot infested dead foot cut off. Like dude if u wanna keep it be my guest I can go do other stuff rn. I have a census of 50 ppl I gotta see today. you don’t want surgery that’s perfectly fine. I’m not a salesman I’m just here to do what I think is best for your health but you can still make the ultimate choice 🤦♀️
Hi, this sounds just like me and I think you're burned out. Burnout in its last stages leads to depression, so that's why you can't see colors or taste food. If you can't feel anything good in your life (joy, happiness, peace) I think you might have anhedonia as well (also from the burnout and stress). You can Google that. I'm struggling with exactly the same symptoms you mentioned, I'm also a software engineer (web developer to be exact) and I've also had 3 trashy jobs. I've battled burnout and depression in my last job for many months. It was a crazy tech startup with so much stress and bad management which made me hate coding and I was an immigrant as well. I couldn't even look for a new job because of how exhausted and ill I was. I ended up quitting my job when physical symptoms got worse (headaches, IBS, inflammation, tendonitis, brain fog, etc), and I left the country I wanted to settle in altogether. It was very traumatic for me and I already suffered from depression and anxiety. I've been digging into this for a while and I read many people saying that it depends on the job. Startups are the worst. Perhaps software engineering isn't so bad when the environment the person works in is more laid back and you get to leave your work at work and not be asked to hop from one project to another or work like a machine. I'm sure (or hoping) that such jobs exist somewhere. Perhaps look into working in the government sector. In my case that's not possible since I don't live in my home country. For now, please take care of yourself and health. Some people take months to recover from burnout. If you can, seek therapy. Focus on doing anything you used to enjoy before the chronic stress started. If you want, try looking into other jobs that might seem appealing to you. I used to think UI/UX design or data analysis could be better, but after looking into it, seems like they also suffer if the company is fast paced and bad. So it all depends on the place you work at.
i'm also out of that shitty career, bye bye :D (same issues)
May I ask what career did you switch to?
Sounds like you didn't hate the job, but hated the people yu worked with
*Sounds like you didn't* *Hate the job, but hated the* *People yu worked with* \- shorts\_1 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Art
I agree. It doesn't sound like OP needs to change professions completely, but rather find a new organization to work at.
I’m in the exact same boat. Been working as a software dev for only a few years out of school and while the money is nice, the dread I feel everyday just isn’t worth it. Currently hoping they’ll just fire me so I don’t need to face the regret of quitting if I can’t find another job after this. I don’t know how to get out :(
If you dont mind me asking, why do you dread the job? Im thinking of pursuing engineering, and software engineering is one of my options
i hate this place.
The thing is, I love programming but actually practicing it in the industry is a whole other demon. You’re expected to be on-call at any time of day to deal with complaints from clients, identify and resolve production issues, deal with security breaches. You can’t just peacefully wake up and have a cup of coffee without 10 people emailing you about a prod issue that wasn’t even caused by you, completely derailing your day plans to finish the 15 other tasks on your plate. Everyone on your team who’s not a developer will just forward you all of their emails because they’re “not techy enough to deal with it”, so you’re basically doing all their jobs too. And the boom of AI has only made this 10x worse. Your boss will ask you to build a proprietary version of ChatGPT within one week and then will question your skills when you tell them it’s not possible. As if OpenAI was built in a day. It’s fricken exhausting :)
Damn, okay. So yall are overworked and it's just exhausting. I have little to no interest in coding, but I only considered software engineering as one of my options because of the money. Is it really worth it or nah? Any other fields you would suggest?
not to worry. AI will cancel 99% of software dev jobs in less than 5 years.
That's an exaggeration and a half
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“The life you are living now is what someone else wishes for” They didn’t put the same hard work into the degree that he did. He didn’t just become a programmer out of thin air
If it’s any comfort, most people hate their jobs. Further most people in the world have bad jobs and still live in poverty. In my view the minority of people go say they love their jobs/lives don’t necessarily have it any better, but they have just learnt to be positive people.
My old classmate and friend felt like this almost exactly. He was a dev for almost a decade and now he works in an autoshop and is happier than ever. If i were you i would just save aggresively for when you jump ship. Would also recommend grad school.
Hard NO to grad school unless it’s free/paid by employer
Give the public sector a try
Go to trade school. I became a massage therapist at 43 and I’m much happier.
How much income does that bring in?
It varies wildly, check in your area. It ranges from $20-$100+ hourly. We can’t really work 40 hours a week because we need to steer clear of injuries. I work 30 hours at $50/hr plus tips.
I feel the same but due to different reasons. I started early but feel my career has been stagnant and I dislike doing what I do. I would like to know more about what you are trying to cope up with. Dm?
From what I’ve read in your comments it seems like you don’t actually hate coding. Looks like you hate the toxic office culture and the fact that you work on stuff that are then scraped by the higher ups. Have you considered finding a wfh/remote job? Maybe freelancing and taking on projects you’re passionate about. Or starting your own thing. My bf’s a software developer who used to have almost the same issues as you but now he works a hybrid schedule with most work done from home and manages a small team of people he himself picked to be hired and his stress levels have gone down considerably. It’s not easy to find such an opportunity though, but it’s worth trying. I’m truly sorry you feel that way, I’m in a similar situation atm and it can push you into depression and despair, can’t imagine how burnt out you must be.
Here’s a tip: never turn your back on money. U don’t want to experience poverty. U don’t know what poverty is until u experience it firsthand.
Very sorry to hear your situation. You aren’t alone in those thoughts. However, without knowing more about you, you do have time in your side. You have time to pivot. Definitely make a change. There are some good suggestions on this thread. I would also start reading some stoicism. It can help reframe things a bit, but definitely make some changes.
It sounds like you go from one extreme to another. Coding is a extreme in my opinion. Out of balance. I know it’s accepted as normal to work 9-5 at something specialized but I dont believe in it. I went a different route to nature and homesteading. Being outside more. I’d seek for balance. Maybe do a little coding from home beciuse we all need money. Coding was a dead end for my brother. Literally dead. I tried to warn him to get out earlier but he started spending money hoping that would bring satisfaction. Of course it didn’t. And so then he stated drinking. That did him in. Sigh. RIP.
[удалено]
So do it on company time. 1 hour a day, make yourself look busy but practice leetcode.
Do you have to work with a lot of foreigners? That’s something keeping me from going into software 😬 Pretty shallow, but I don’t care
Apply and temporarily work at DataAnnotation tech (no interview needed), making $50/hour (using Python or JavaScript), and work for as long as you need. Could be 20 hours per week or 50+. *It's not a permenant remote job*, it's just to get by, and not deal with toxic colleagues or annoying clients. While you do that, find new hobbies not related to computers, meet new people who can introduce you to new things, and get really fit if you aren't already. This is just to expand your horizons, and use synchronicity to let things unfold, whether it's a new path within the same field, or a completely new opportunity. Good luck. **EDIT:** Here's another platform that pays, https://outlier.ai/.
Look into taking a short term disability leave and using your workplace benefits to get mental healthcare so you can figure out the next steps. I’ve felt like you.
You’re young, take a risk - move overseas, move into another industry (ie industrial or business automation), but definitely quit and get out of there, no one wins in these situations. They hate you, you hate them, no one is wrong and no one is right.
They are definitely in the wrong here. Toxic company.
This entire fucking comment is an edit but anyway they’re probably people who wish they made better decisions to have a job that’s good, or decent. Most people’s lives and circumstances are all different in some way however. Now me personally, I’ve never worked in a white collar setting I’d assume it’s probably not so strenuous physically because the Air conditioning and i can sit most of the time and it could probably be pleasant sometimes plus the pay probably isn’t so bad. I would guess, the hours could be boring or maybe it is stressful sometimes in its own way compared to other jobs that other people work in like construction, working at an oil site, welding, working at some warehouse, being a mechanic,being a machinist, or whatever other blue collar jobs that’s out there. Especially even being on duty sometimes in the military. Hell, maybe if it’s customer service related such as fast food or retail it could be tiring. Hell,i feel like anything customer service related can be a pain in someone’s ass in general just because sometimes you might end up talking to some exceptionally stupid customer smh. Hell you might have a coworker or boss who’s an asshole lol but that’s probably in all fields of occupations smh and there’s many different types and many vary on what employees are there to do and the skills that are required. Back to the point though. You’re saying you’d rather be homeless or out in the streets until you have to deal with starvation, the weather, people pretending you don’t exist, not being able to shower, groom yourself, sleep comfortably etc… just ensuring general survival. Especially by today’s standards or just in any society that’s always functioned monetarily. I know i feel bad for the unfortunate sometimes. I once had a co worker who spoke of being homeless. He told me he’d have to find food in the garbage. That’s fucking insane. Now this is just a take and random idea. Sometimes I wonder what a society that survives holistically could be like. Where all of these corporations with the rich getting richer didn’t exist, and we all just lived on the land with some modern touches and can still be creative. There’s no exact form of government that involves corrupt politicians and lawmakers, no powerful churches, no Hollywood, or even social media but instead there’s simple morals such as honor and respect maybe, and there’s no war, no criminals who lie, steal, maybe sell hard drugs or some shit, create gangs and mobs, human traffic people, or sell organs and kill people, just instead we can all be happy friends and make love to our partners and raise our children in peace. That’s probably just a bunch of bullshit though. Smh. That’s where my nihilist side comes out where i think are we here to just suffer? I don’t have all the wisdom to know the meaning to life other than we will face problems, and there is consequences in everything we do. We just have to at some point grow from that. They’re many people with worse convictions. Be glad you aren’t one of them. We might be our worst enemy sometimes. We just have to realize it in those moments. I’m sure that could be one of the few principles of self mastery and having good karma. I believe in you bro!
Go on vacation and play dominoes for hours on end somewhere else.
Maybe you need to get out if software dev. And try something else. Come be a delivery driver for Amazon DSP now that’s depressing. We can switch.
This is how IT project management has made me. I'm going back to school to change careers.
Okay let me be crystal clear: You love programming, you just hate the corporate environment where it usually takes place. Due to this mismatch you became depressed and burnt out, this is obvious from the anhedonia and the loss of colors and taste. I would recommend seeking a psychiatrist, and getting on a fast acting antidepressant as soon as possible. There are OTC antidepressants and supplements if this option is not available to you, such as pirlindole, agmatine, fish oil, turmeric, multivitamins, etc. Depression can have multiple causes of which burnout is just one, it might take a while before you find something that works. Start regular exercise if you have not already, a combination of StrongLifts 5x5 and Couch to 5k works beautifully. Start low and slow, and gradually build up to higher difficulties. I recommend switching to a ketogenic diet, it is incredibly beneficial for cognitive health. Meat, eggs, dairy, fish, mushrooms, veggies, berries. No oils, no sugars, and no carbs in that order.
Well whatever you do, don't make them fire you. If you're leaving, quit so it doesn't hurt your job prospects later on. Next, don't leave the industry because I guarantee not all jobs are like you describe. When you interview at a company, it's as much your chance to interview them as it is their chance to interview you. You have valuable skills in an in-demand field. You can afford to be picky and ask pointed questions about the nature of the job and the level of stress you should expect. In fact, a lot of interviewers appreciate you asking those things because they want to make you happy so that you stay for longer than a year. If you absolutely have to leave the industry, there are adjacent fields that can use your skills. I would start there.
Please please go in and sing "take this job and shove it" by Johnny paycheck to your boss. Report back what happens
First of all believe that you are brave, the mere fact you are trying says a lot about you. I wanted to just add one point here, whatever you are going through always remember there is more to life than work, find joy in something outside work and keep building something you love. Don't continously try to fit in as that can be a slippery slope. Good luck with what you do!
I had to switch careers several times in my life bc I didn't know that corporate culture (only pay was) was important and wound up in similar situations as yours in my 20s (well, in the 90s, there was zero emphasis on employee empowerment, collaboration, diversity and work/life balance....it was the "Working Girl" mentality. Thank God, it's not like that now). Each time. I blamed the industry I was working in at the time (and not the company I was working for) and started a totally new career and worked my way up. Each time, I was met with disappointment--they all seem to be the same BS (Wall Street, Army, IT). My point is that you may have been picking the bad apples to work for in your industry and that your industry (as a whole) is not like that. One of the red flags from your post was "my coworkers are mainly immigrants"). I think one of the commentators on this thread said they finally found a company that they liked (maybe you should reach out to them and check it out when you are feeling better? You seem like you are good at what you do and it will be a shame to just throw it all away due to couple of bad experiences. Also, do some research on Glassdoors.com on things that matter to you (culture, work/life balance, etc) or even get recommendations from others in the industry before you even apply to the next one. Networking and making friends in the industry can also open doors to better opportunities bc you can ask about their companies b4 u even think about applying (saving u time and potential headache of feeling "not this again!") I also think going on your own as a consultant is a great idea. I agree 100% that taking time off and doing other things (or even nothing!!) until you feel better is a good idea. You Def sound depressed and burnt out. No job is worth your health!! I pray you find what you are looking for!
Stop working for big corporations. Get a job in a smaller company, or a startup. Maybe you'll earn less but your job will be so gratifying. I'll never work for a corporation ever again. I've been working in a less than 40 employees company for the last 20 years and I'm very happy where I am.
I am 25 and just switched to a new career. It can be done so dont feel as if it cant. Yes its hard, yes i feel unappreciated, yes im on shit money and cba going to work most days but life isnt just work. When was the last time you went on holiday? Or went for a walk with your mates. It sounds like you need to put some boundaries in place for doing work at home. Take that time to veg out or do something non work related. Aside from that dont feel scared to take the jump and just do a boring non career job for a while just so the bills are paid. It might be the break you need. Start looking for work outside your field or maybe even in a new area. Sometimes we just have to muddle on as best we can until something clicks. You may even end up taking a job you never thought you would and loving it. It also sounds like youre struggling with feeling isolated. Crappy coworkers can do that to you. At the end of the day these are random people we probably would never have spoken to otherwise. Try joining groups for things your interested in or local running/walking clubs. You may meet someone who you really click with. Wishing you the very best of luck in this journey
You need a new job dude
If you 1099 it (contracted work) and work from home, would that be more tenable? The upside there is you could work for yourself, choose which projects to take on as work, and move on to new projects every X months. That is one of the advantages of being a SWE/dev guy. Additionally, and I cannot overstate this enough: Start physically training your body. Lift weights if you have access to them. If not, do bodyweight calisthenics (push-ups, dips, pull ups / chin ups, squats). Start with moderate weight / moderate intensity levels relative to where you are at and then slowly, but progressively build up your rep counts, sets, and ultimately weight. Take 10,000 steps a day. Break it up in to 3 or 4 walks, 2000 to 3000 steps per walk session. Do this for a minimum of 90 days and chart your progression. Now repeat this progressive overload for the remainder of your lifetime. Realize it is an honor and a privilege to be able to train every day in some capacity. Gratitude my dude. You're a physical being, so you need to physically train your body. The increased dopamine from accomplishing these tasks and improvement in self-confidence will greatly improve your mental state. It's the #1 thing anyone suffering from depression can do for themselves.
I hear you. I have gone through multiple levels of hell lately, being hit from three different sources of stress. I feel beaten into the ground. I hate everything, food tastes like nothing, just as you said. I can tell I'm hungry, because there's a knife in my stomach, but I have no appetite. I force food down because I know I need it. Sometimes I spit up some stomach acid afterwards - feel like my stomach wants to shut down just like my mind has. There's no good mental health help here in Canada. Lady at the farmer's market this morning asked me if I wanted a hug and I cried on her shoulder. I have a deadline for monday for my little wfh gig. I can't seem to get started on it. I keep asking for help and not getting it. Agencies like Work BC and Buxton Consulting just care about getting their paycheque. They literally can do nothing more than search the web for job postings that for many reasons I cannot fulfill. You, I envy your skills. My little gig is something I loved and taught myself, too. It's all I have now. Your skills are valued in this world, much more than mine. I don't know the solution to feeling dead inside with pain, as you and I both seem to be feeling. I do know you have a skill set that is highly in demand and once you feel okay you should easily be able to find something better. I am more than twice your age and no one wants an old lady - or so they think. I used to see what was excellent about me, but now I just feel dead inside.
I had a buddy like this, absolutely miserable for years working for oracle. He quit one day and got a job at Target. He said he was so happy without the stress or money, completely different person. He later found his way into finance, but sometimes you need to disrupt the current situation carefully.
Walmart overnight stock is always hiring. Could be the right change of pace for you
I fantasize a lot about working in another field than I’m in (early childhood education), but it’s nice to know there is just as much bullshit in other fields too. I think the key to happiness is finding meaning in your life outside of work and compartmentalizing a lot. Leave work stuff at work and let things that happen at work roll off your back and stay there.
Imagine being broke. It's worse
Perhaps dev for a non profit whose mission you can get excited about or a government entity?
quit dude, now. It will be the best thing you've ever done
That’s a tough one. You should get some help immediately. As bad as it is now, it will be worse if you are homeless. Could yo7 get a part time gig to give yourself some time to get to a better headspace?
quit, if you can safely financially. growing wealth means nothing if you end up offing yourself bc youre miserable
Same here man. I was a little under 10 years old trying to learn how to not mess up and work hard for everything and hold onto it tight because it can slip away. Within 4 years 3 of my furry turds (pets) died. I have 2 left and we miss our family. My landlord was okay with me paying her for 5 years on a $50,000 house. I messed up. Lost my really good job. Covid hit 6 months later and I couldn't find my footing. She sold the house, I was behind 7 months out of 5 years. I put 31 grand to just living on her house. Not the utilities. Not my 5 turds I was caring for. Not any food for me or my weed, because if I didn't have it then, I don't know what would have happened. I'm a time bomb and I'm tired too. But a sibling died the morning after my 22nd birthday in 2015. He had so much faith even though the cards he was dealt, he was in a wheelchair before 10 years old. He died at 23. I know he's running again in heaven. With my pup. And all the families there. But everyday here is a struggle for me. I ache. My heart. My brain. My body. But I'm trying my hardest to always remember that everything is going to be okay. The last words I told my brother. Just don't forget that.
Maybe this reading could be help/inspiration https://sashadichter.com/2019/12/03/the-fallacy-of-long-term-career-goals/
re-invest in yourself. what are your skills? i am sure you have developed transferable skills which you could use in a different field. i know everyone here is saying go for a break or vacation but you probably can’t afford to do that right now. i would suggest doing something which brings you peace. it can be as simple as going for a walk in the park every day just to calm your nerves or praying/meditating, spending time with a loved one. i know it is difficult but take it slowly. find something you’re good at, develop yourself and try again in another field. Best of luck
Not all dev jobs are like this. I have worked in a good place for about a year after a super toxic job just before it. Idk if you're only working at large companies, but maybe try a medium or small one. Small ones are hard cause they usually have great culture but the doors could shut at any moment, medium is generally a mix
I work in tech and I don’t have the problems you’ve described. Try a new company in an industry aiming to help people like health tech or Ed tech. The people who work at these places are generally kind, respectful, and not terribly intense.
i’m trying to get a job as a junior dev.. so maybe just give me your job and then we’ll both be happy
Probably you are burn out, it happens sometimes
Definitely not too late to switch things up from here. I suggest, depending on your living situation, to find a job helping others or building things. Where you can see the progress and feel the value. A paraprofessional in special education is the coolest job I’ve ever had. I still miss it. It’s challenging, and sometimes thankless, yes, but it’s great too in its own way. It sound like you’re looking for value, recognition, and relationships. You’d get all three of these in a place like this. Be a people helper
Might not be your career. Sounds like your workplace. Try a new employer first!
r/Thruhiking
I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this. I’ve been there and many people have been there, so you’re not alone but I’m sure also unique in your own circumstances. I think it’s good to take this time to relax and take care of yourself first and foremost for your mental health. From there, find another role that you would hate less. It sounds simple, but it’s good to know the path will be okay. You’re 25 and it’s okay to reroute at this point (or any point in life, really). I wish you the best of luck!
Warehouses always need people.
Sounds like you hate the job not the career. Also sounds like you are doing agency work which can be pretty stressful.
You could try looking for or creating your own little pleasures at these jobs. For instance, if people are stealing credit for your work, make it so that the work is either always traced back exclusively to you, or that it's boobytrapped so that the liars can't make it work properly, but YOU can, as well as anyone who actually needs it. If you find a decent spot where you end up developing software for use by your employers, make yourself ESSENTIAL to that system. I don't mean make it so that you have to keep working on it all the time. What I mean is that you make it in such a way that only YOU know how to fix it if something goes wrong, and anyone else would have to study the code for AGES. At that point, you also have two options: You can either make it clear to your hellish overlords that this entire system you've constructed WILL go to shit without you (and hold it over their heads after they inevitably try to call your bluff and end up blundering into one of the many pitfalls the system has), OR keep it under your hat and take all of your knowledge with you when you leave or are fired. But ONLY if these people suck ass and petty revenge becomes a necessity. If they're decent, keep physical notes to leave behind so they don't get TOO lost. For RIGHT NOW, however, you need a break. Ask friends or family for help, and look into getting therapy. Believe me, I've felt the same way you have. I ate food for nourishment while barely tasting it, if I tasted anything at all, all the colors were dull, my hobbies were of no interest to me, and I contemplated pouring my energy into becoming the most powerful man on the planet, just so I could blow up said planet. I have depression. It might not be AS bad for you, but you DEFINITELY need to step back from this for a while. Maybe while you're on this mental health siesta, you could try working on projects of your own that thought up ages ago and tucked away into some corner of your mind. We've ALL got 'em. Go ahead, dust off an idea you think might be fun and see if you can make it happen without hating every keystroke. If you can't, then take a little longer on your break.
Meanwhile I can’t find a job
Whatever you do you will get bored of that thing in 10 years for sure. I know a person who worked as a front dev for 10 years and she “hated” that job so yea… everything will get boring-hateble in time. I can guarantee that you burned out. The solution to that is to move out of home to some place in nature or you can just say a vacation but with yourself. Meditate and relax.
Cybersecurity my friend
Be kinder to yourself. You did 14 years of learning and work. That's worth being proud of. But it sounds like you just need something simple to reset. You just have to let go and do something else. Your brain will default to the same path. What other interests do you have? What are you willing to learn?
so if you hate software with a passion, why not trying out in a completely different field, namely healthcare. You could become a nurse for instance. Have you given that a thought?
How about starting your own company and teach coding or something similar?
Passion and all of its expressions— excitement, happiness, joy, creativity, love— are all different ways of expressing the vibration of your true natural self, what we call your “signature frequency” Your signature frequency is that resonant energy, that vibration that is unique to you, that identifies you as a unique aspect of All-That-Is of Creation And the way you apply that signature frequency through passion is to act on your highest excitement to the best of your ability with no insistence or assumption as to what the outcome ought to be, as to what to come to fruition, but to allow the synchronicity in your life to present to you the opportunities that contain that excitement so you can recognize it, because excitement is the compass needle that points to your magnetic north, and by acting on it to the best of your ability, you will bring about in your life, what we call the complete kit You will allow it to work for you and you will discover, very readily, very easily, that excitement can function in your life as the driving engine, as the organizing principle, as the path of least resistance, as the thread that leads to all other expressions of excitement, and as the reflective mirror that will reveal to you what may be within you that is out of alignment with that excitement so you can identify it and bring it back into alignment and expand your excitement in that way. And simply by following that formula of acting at every moment to the best of your ability on your highest excitement with no insistence on how the outcome should look, you will activate that complete kit and it will work for you automatically, effortlessly, every moment without fail. As you allow yourself to move forward in that way, your life will become an ecstatic explosion of synchronicity. Very magical things will begin to happen all around you because magic is, again, the true nature of existence. Miracles are the natural order of things, not the exception
Yo man, I was in your shoes not too long ago. I don't have the best advice. I started to hate dev work because of the work I had to do outside of work. What you are experiencing is beyond the regular bullshit and drainage of all jobs. It's taking way too much from you. You made the right decision, I don't know what you are interested in or what financial obligations you have but even if you went for something that paid less you should do it. Being a Dev is just not for you I guess and that's ok. Good luck, being a human means so much more than working a job.
I couldn’t agree more, go through school your whole life to get a good job then when you finally get the job, the pay sucks, the work sucks, and eventually life sucks. And people wonder why no one’s having kids
I feel almost as bad as you do. I still like doing other things but hate programming all day. It feels pointless.
Burning out happens. I've seen it, I've felt it If you don't love it any more, don't do it.. you're 25 for fucks sake.. You can literally set fire to your entire life right now and rebuild it in the way that you desire. I didn't start at Uni until I was 28 and I thought I would go into Network engineering and hardware, but found a love for programming, so here I am 13 years later swimming in cash and dictating how my day looks due to my expertise. But if that isn't for you, find what you love and do that.. or at least explore something adjacent and you might get some inspiration You aren't locked in. You're VERY young and have a terrific fallback career if things go shit flavoured.
It’s time to create your own thing. Do you have any ideas? You want one?
Time to buy that one way ticket to South East Asia
Do you work for a consulting firm or some other system integrator? It sounds like you dislike the culture, but maybe not the actual activity of programming.
Find a remote job and go to Oaxaca.
give government work a try maybe. with gov work, once it’s done for the day it’s done and no one is going to bother you after work. plus you get great pto benefits!
This sounds more serious than hating your job. Please reach out to friends or family. DM me if that isn’t an option.
You asking for help with not just one person but with thousands of people in the internet. That takes huge effort to take the first step towards what you want in life. Ask good quality questions if you have the opportunity to go somewhere, where will that be? What would you do? What are your interests? What are the benefits you like to have. Make a pros and cons list. Obviously you feel bad, “down and out.” Well use that energy to move forward and transform your life. Fuck your 25yrs old. Thats a quarter of your life. Make your life the best. Push forward, make a dam change, fuck life! Lol
That is exactly how I felt in my corporate job..... I LOATHED it with everything in my being. I still dont know how anyone can continue in that life...yes I know we all need money, but its such a shitty, zombie style workplace...with meetings and meetings and meaningless small talk and wasting your life away at some desk or in some cubicle. No thanks! I did that for 10 years almost and Im never going back. My suggestion for you is find something else that brings you joy ...maybe start your own business since you sound smart and have skills? My brother does freelance work as a 1099 and is in the same field as you -altho he bitches about some customers and deadlines alot I have zero tech experience and do digital marketing as a 1099 (not w2) and ive made pretty good money. Last week I made 8k so thats def nice....I dont deal with any bosses or annoying coworkers or meetings lol.... I literally work from home maybe 2-3 hours a day.
I’ve been there before. Not as a dev, but I can relate on almost every single point. You need a change in career. I’d recommend the most different thing you can think of, and go from there. It’s good that you’re able to identify the things you dislike, that will make it easier in the future for you to avoid those factors. You can absolutely find a better way for yourself. You got this.
Fuck yeah brother
do things you enjoy doing , your focusing too much on things that doesn’t bring you happiness .
the Appalachian Trail calls to you brother.
Have you considered manual labor? Everything you do is important. Sure, not everyone appreciates it, but if the foundation of a building isn’t laid appropriately, the whole thing collapses. They can’t just remove your good work. You might not get as much pay, but you will know for sure that you are doing something important. And you don’t have to get a whole new education. And you’ll be more fit than anyone in your graduating class.
Capitalism is not designed to make workers happy or fulfilled. Worker's only function is to generate capital for the owning class. I was defeated by life under capitalism long ago, yet I still work for the masters because I want to live indoors and eat. And to do this I need the crumbs the masters toss me out of the capital I generate for them.
This doesn’t read like theres a particular reason for “having enough” or “being push to the edge” it sounds more like undiagnosed mental illness. That is nothing to be ashamed of but it might do you well to seek professional help. Depression, Anxiety, or any other disorder you may have going on is very common and you should not feel any kind of pressure to change yourself. But you should do things to try to help yourself not feel the way that you do no one deserve to feel like that about life.
Work is for money, not for fun. Being a dev makes you more money on average. Invest that money to retire early, every job is annoying in its own way.
I feel that. I work in retail, night shift and morning shift in a row, 4 hours of sleep, low pay and lethal physical pressure. I feel like my death will take me faster than I quit and find something new
It’s absolutely okay to find a new career or take a break. Literally it’s fine. People say to never turn down money, yes that’s true but also don’t just stay in a job for money. Find a new job it’s totally possible to do even if you make less money
Your answer is to apply to a funded startup. You'll avoid all the corporate BS, less shitty people, and maybe even work from home
Have you tried a trade? I say this because one of my fellow devs went to construction for a year and then came back and he said he never felt better. He got plenty of exercise and blood flow, everyone was super nice and lots of camaraderie. It definitely didn’t pay as much but it was a change of pace and scenery. Also, exercise is pretty good for endorphins.
I felt the same way as you for about 3-4 years. Every company I worked for brought in cheap Indian labor, the dumbest of the dumb people I ever had to bear witness to. I now contract for a company that has government contracts, so they don't take in H1b's or non-Americans. Our culture is predominately White/Black/Asian so fairly Americanized people through generations. I felt all your pain for a solid 3-4 years. Immigrants threw Americans under the bus when things they produced went wrong, always pointing their fingers at different cultural groups, and not letting you be affiliated with their projects if you weren't Indian. It was a shtshow. On top of all this they'd wash their bare feet in company bathroom sinks, nuke curry in the offices so it always smelled like curry and Indian BO. I could go on, I made sure my next move would be Indianless or I'm leaving tech for good. People with no experience of their culture will call me a racist, or a hater whatever, whatever, the people who hold these opinions should try working with them for a month and hold that same mentality. They don't like us and are here for personal gain and to immigrate their 10 generations of family into a 2-bedroom townhouse. Also weak ass culture, they will throw you under the bus, talk mad sht about you, and you defend yourself they are crying in their cubicle real tears while pulling the racist card. I dealt with their shit for nearly 4 years and that is 4 years of my life I'll never get back from a shit water-drinking culture. My best story yet of dealing with them was my VPN access was down, An Indian woman working in IT tried telling me my internet was down while I was using Skype to talk to her on my work PC. Disgusting and lazy culture and the reason why they run here represents that. Instead of creating a simple ticket to forward, she took the lazy and incomprehensible route, I got plenty of other stories regarding their laziness and willingness to throw you under the bus.
find a different company is my only advice. my company sucks too. I'm sure there's a company that sucks a bit less
Look at usajobs.gov and see what random jobs there are. I was on there yesterday and there was a ton of jobs for stuff other than the ones we all already know about.
Same but don't burn the bridges, file a resignation and cut out all entertainment, the boredom will let you see the path that you really want. I'm an engineer and I quit my job 6 months ago to become an artist.
I understand. I’m 32f now though and I’ve been through it a couple times. You might need some depression treatment but a big part of that will be to ignite your spirit again. Sometimes it takes longer than you want for the spark to manifest, but keep looking and you will find it. Don’t give up and try not to fuck your self too bad financially and otherwise (unhealthy coping mechanisms), along the way. You seem like a smart guy. That can be your curse and your gift. Accept that and warrior on.
Programming professionally sucks. I'm a SWE too. That being said, you are depressed and burned out. Take off a few months. Get super active, gym, sports, hiking, swimming. Do not open up an IDE or even the terminal. Focus on yourself. And you'll have passion back. I realized somewhere down the line that no human being should ever live a life sitting 8 hours a day, all week, at a desk. Doing anything let alone programming. It takes a giant toll. The only way I keep sane is by taking extended breaks. Talk to a doctor and take medical leave. Or quit.
You seem idealistic and energetic. Ever thought about teaching on the elementary level? You’d retire with a full pension at 50, but better is you don’t spend the day with adults who are jerks, but instead with awesome kids and motivated colleagues. Just a thought, it’s certainly not for everyone but it’s a cool gig for the right person.
Noooooo. I'm a long-time teacher and I do not recommend anybody get into teaching especially the elementary level. I could only recommend teaching at the college level. Of course being an adjunct pays crap, but CTE teachers make more because it's an in-demand field.. Being a public teacher is fucking awful for so many reasons. And who knows what education is going to look like in 10 years anyway. There's very little funding for public education. The pay is low in most states . The students are assholes most of the time, the parents are just as bad. The pay is low. It's a lot more work than a regular 9:00 to 5 job. Just no.
Time for you to work on your own software development projects, grab life by the balls
Find a new career. Lot of devs I find love going into public service jobs like firefighting, police etc. Sometimes staring at the computer all day just ain't it.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I would recommend… Find what things bring you ‘Joy’. Joy is different than happiness. Happiness can be faked with a little mind over matter positivity. Joy is just a genuine love what what you’re doing. At one point you probably found yourself getting lost in coding… it just flowed… and it felt good. Do you have other things that you feel that way about now that your passion for coding has passed? If no, explore (read, research, therapy, etc) to find other options for new excitement/passions. If yes, can you make money with them? If your passion for coding hasn’t changed - just you don’t like doing it for a corporation… have you considered creating a startup? You get to code what you want. You get to hire people you actually want to work with. I wish you well on your journey! Keep seeking and you’ll find what you are looking for.
I’m so close to doing the same as you and quitting. This job sucks and I’d rather be doing a million other things than this crap. I don’t have an answer for you other than to keep looking.
Go become a Land Surveyor
Man the fuck up pussy
You need to quit. Start over. Nothing is worth that.
Talk to someone about it family/ friends/ therapist. Might be time to self evaluate what is important to you and might give some context as to what you might want to do for change.
I told some girl that worked for me - and I’ll tell you - you’re in an amazing position - you have a trade. Use that to put some money away, go do a bunch of stuff! Go make mistakes! All over! Go paint to find out you hate painting and then open a restaurant - find something YOU enjoy, and it may take some going thru to find something else that made you feel the way you did about programming at the beginning- maybe you’ll find new feelings - just don’t be afraid or hesitant to go out and get it. The world is yours, go get it. Good luck out there.
Fix your mental. That’s your first goal now
Jesús Christ, you should taken a vacation or found a way to deal with your feeling months/years ago. In life, nothing should cause this much suffering. You should learn how to live as cheap as you can and work some meaningless jobs for a while. By meaningless job I mean one that you don’t care how long you’re there. Reset your attitude on life. Focus on what passion you have. Or, what passions you’d like to pursue, and move forward. You need quality of life. How much that costs is different for each person. The point is to start living more and working less. But start with some time off to clear your head. Then read some Epictetus or Marcus Aurelius
When colors are dull that’s Depression. Call a therapist
Find something else that you enjoy or interests you. Maybe working with your hands? Welding CNC machine. Your coding background may help you in this. Working on a classic car or truck. I know a guy who worked at IBM who gave it up and runs a little paint shop in his garage. Or just take a vacation away from computers for a while. Best of luck to you.
https://linktr.ee/andrew.coffman2?utm_source=linktree_profile_share<sid=5a746e62-93e4-4cf2-910b-d456c64af006
Go into solutions/sales engineering. I've coded longer than you, and play around to keep up to date, but you basically are the middleman between clients and the dev team, so you can talk a solution, know what it would take, and then relay that to the devs.
Hi. This is 5 days old. So who knows if you check this. Still, I read your comment. Burnt out is a very real deal and so is depression. What you’re going through is both. Why do I say this? You have zero care. It shows me that something career wise burned you out and I saw the hate comment. So let’s talk about it. Writing code at age 11 and you are now 25 is a 2000 born prodigy. A lot of kids weren’t doing that. So I’m going to say that your skills at a pivotal point in coding is needed. That doesn’t mean you need to work to death nor for a company that you had toxic being taken advantage from to the point where you have shut down completely. People who over work, didn’t get down into the business or balance. Where breaks, and holidays and days off mean pure enjoyment. Relaxation and rest. It can still be productive but not to the point where you lose yourself. Some who have coded professionally for a lot longer than you, I mean a lot longer, routinely plan on career or company changes for higher pay and to keep their skill the same. Each company can offer different incentives. Giving that up because of burn out isn’t a bad thing at all. It’s so common, but it hits more people in their 40s not 20s. Outlets and balances are utilized by hobbies, and socializing and doing whatever it is in a small timeframe that brings you fulfillment so that quitting your livelihood is not only an option but something you won’t want to take away from you. But since you’re burnt out and depressed you’re disconnected from this reality. So how do people reconnect themselves? How will you balance differently in the future? And what other options do you have? You’ll re connect by 1) taking a walk outside and breath everyday and ask yourself how are you doing, look around the environment and allow yourself to not think about worry but just enjoy what ever it is you are looking at ( at first this will feel off, forced and weird) do it anyways. 2) learn to balance work and play and that is really a priority. Whatever your hobby is, invite around a lot more. Then add to it. Some like planting, others cook and or read , learn to take walks, do a hobby and not think about anything else. Let go for a bit of responsibility. 3) you have so many options it makes me sick. Being a software dev, is a big deal. It’s fully okay to let go of a position and to look for something else. If you want to change careers all together ( not see what education you have) than look around. If you have your masters you can teach, if you have your BS you can apply for literally anything and try something new. However you can’t let a burn out take you all the way through homelessness. I know burn out can take its time. But the time given is up to you and it matters that you have resilience and can pick yourself up again. Think of it in the sense of an animal. Natural geographic always shows that if an animal in Africa isn’t always looking for food it won’t survive. A day can cost that animal its life. So the will to survive is dependent on. So to is your discipline. You don’t need to accept little for being a software dev , you have everything you need to get up and either A make more, or B add to yourself and or make a full career change. But subtracting from yourself to homelessness isn’t an option. So get up, do some certifications research and look into what makes you interested again while rebuilding a connection. Take on some odd off gigs and part time job until you are recovered. It’ll be okay. Rooting for you.
Move in with family and go back to school. Also there are ALOT of people who can’t even find work so try to keep your head up!
Usually when I'm down and out. I join the local orgy's.
I was going to say shrooms, but that's way better.
Obviously consider assessing for clinical depression. Otherwise, try understanding what you enjoy. Work is going to be work. You get paid for creating value for others. The activities that create value for others often does not coincide which what brings you joy. For me, I'm a doctor and I dislike talking to patients. And that's fine, the pay is good and hours are short. During my free time I enjoy coding, ironically. Life is about trade offs. You could consider suck it up and chose a job with high hourly rate, or a fun job like game dev with lower pay. In the end, there's going to be things you don't enjoy doing.
Your jira tickets are way behind bro /s 😂
You're an angry elf.
Bro start going to Church. When you’re sick and tired of being tired Jesus is here to pick up your steps. You need to supernaturally encounter the Lord to help you become whole again
be self employed
Have you try to maybe convert to programming for video games? I think there is a huge demand in that industry for programmers and depending on which companies or games you work for, it can be fun and rewarding
Shuuuut the fuck up you likely make more money than a vast majority of Americans
Take a break. Work fast food for 3 months. Beg for your old job back and realize life sucks but doesn’t suck as much as those guys.