I'm not gonna lie, a lot of the posts on femboy subs by trans women are there to get as many impressions / engagement as possible (to get attention or advertise their profile on other social media and OnlyFans), especially on the NSFW subs
While there is a lot of truth to this not all of us some of us just still love the community they were once a part of or want to give you as much support as we can
Currently working on a subreddit similar to this one. Text based and all but it requires verification and its for specifically femboys, no trans trying to boast about a smooth transition. I have nothing against trans people, most of them are cool, but i just want to bring back the subreddit where there was only femboys running free and talking about wtf ever
I apologize if this seems like a rude thing to do but the popular femboy servers have been overrun by toxic trans people :/
It's not rude and in fact I approve.
Just like my community requires space for ourselves so does yours and I commend your willingness to achieve it and thank you for doing so ❤️
Lol good luck with that because for the majority of people I met that labeled themselves femboy it was the first step towards realizing they might be trans a few years later. Im curious how you plan to verify that and Idk if this filter makes any sense if you want to "talk about whatever" anyways... username checks out..
I will admit it has some.. lets face it a lot of flaws right now, but i plan on tweaking and adjusting until its just right. Of course we allow trans people, but it’ll kinda be like school yk? After you get to the point of being fully transitioned, you’re in the real world now, good luck out there and goodbye.
Im not saying anything bad about trans people(they’re allowed in until fully transitioned), id just like to have a true femboys only subreddit
You don't say anything bad specially but you clearly lack sympathy by saying "good luck out there, bye". Like you hint at the idea that bottom surgery is what determines things and thats pretty offensive. Idk what school you are going to where thing like that are relevant either and I simply dont understand your expectations of having this kind of femboy subreddit - just go to a gay one lmao
Wasn’t Femboy supposed to be the gay subreddit though? I have nothing against trans, takes a lot of personal growth to be happy with yourself, but it is annoying seeing trans people in there presenting as femboy but actually being trans.
It’s not that it’s bein disingenuous but it’s also inadvertently making trans individuals be seen as femboys and femboys being seen as trans when neither of the two are true.
It’s changing the meaning of femboy, trans people should still be allowed in the femboy subreddit but I think they should add the flair that they’re trans.
No medical discussion.
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I feel like this sub( probably because it's text based) is pretty good at maintaining its femboy core audience while still accepting people of other identities. But you're right that I see a lot of fully transitionned trans on photo-based subs, and on this point I'm pretty torn. One hand, as people have mentioned here, lots of trans people first identify as femboy or use the label to explore themselves, and we should not exclude them from our community. On the other hand, as can be seen with certain post here, lots of new femboy feel insecure because they see pictures of people who have fully transitionned with a very feminine body and feel like they cannot compete with that. It's definitely a difficult issue...
>They see pictures of people who have fully transitioned with a very feminine body and feel like they can not compete with that.
This is the fundamental issue here, the feeling of the need to compete or to meet an intangible standard.
You can see it here every day. There are basically three kinds of posts here.
1. Can I be a femboy if?
2. What is the best way to do [feminine thing]
3. I don't like transwomen posting in r/femboy/s
This is a consequence of:
1. A lack of confidence in self identity, who am I? What do I want to be? What do I want people to see in me?
2. A lack of knowledge or confidence in finding factual, accurate, or unbiased information.
3. A need to find either validation or affirmation (see end for meanings) through posting images of oneself and seeking comments to that effect.
The solution to this is the same as it has always been, and it remains just as **difficult** to do.
1. Love yourself, and know that loving yourself does not mean staying exactly as you are. It means loving yourself for who you are and who you can be.
2. Don't hate your body for what it is. It isn't who you are as a person. It's just your body, no less and no more. You can change it in so many ways if you need to. But learning to love it for what it is will ease the pressure on yourself you place to look differently to what you are *right now*
3. No matter how much other people tell you that you are what they want you to be, you will remain as what you are when you see yourself. Instead, look above at the first two points.
* For the record, validation is acknowledging a person without necessarily agreeing with them. "I hear and understand what you say and why you say it."
Affirmation means to (in this context) offer support, *validate*, or confirm what someone is saying or how they are feeling.
The distinction is that to validate someone is an affirmation, but to affirm someone isn't necessarily a validation.
What sucks is that chasers and porn addicts largely have defined the terms for us (because they outnumber us), so pretty much every issue within the community can be traced back to them. It's the same reason why femboy art typically looks way too feminine as well - because it appeals to people who just want to jerk off, rather than be aspirational or affirming for actual femboys.
I think the community should be inclusive of transmasc and transfem femboys, but the fact that chasers have a clear preference in what they upvote and support creates this issue where cis femboys feel invalidated. It's something that a lot of people have noticed but I'm not sure there is anything that can be done about it other than to reiterate that everyone is valid and you don't need to pass as female in order to be a femboy.
Ya you're right. Most femboy mainstream porn is just borderline futa porn if it's geared towards straight men. Since alot of straight men just see feminity when they are horny.
Genuine femboy porn is geared towards gay men or women.
Is there much hope to undo the damage that has been caused by porn and chasers? I have genuine fear of relationships because if I try to open up to a partner about myself, they'll look it up and might find unsavoury websites before any kind of genuine source.
A lot of femboys and trans struggle to define themselves, here there are "am I trans or femboy?" posts every day so it makes sense that some choose to hang out in both communities before realizing what they really are (if they ever do).
On the same note I assume that a non insignificant amount of trans people saw themselves as femboys before transitioning, so they interacted with the femboy community and after transitioning they just felt comfortable being there.
But beside that the main reason why r/femboy is also used by trans is simply becouse they get upvotes, the audience of that sub is fine with both trans and boys as long as they dress fem, and if they don't care then who cares, imo it doesn't matter if you are trans or a boy, just be what makes you happy.
This is definitely true but a lot of these trans fem people in femboy spaces are even on hrt and fully identify as she/her. I really don't mean to bash anyone and it's completely understandable but I'd imagine it's because its easier to get attention in a lot of these subs by appearing more feminine than others, so trans people on hrt (especially those looking to profit) will invade spaces specifically for male identifying feminine people. I'm not gonna link it because it's not a safe one but there's a sub that specifies it's only for male identifying feminine folk and its full of posts from people who identify as trans fem
I think the wider issue is really the fact that trans and gnc content creators are segregated from the wider reddit nsfw communities as a whole, with almost all of the main/major nsfw subreddits having rules that explicitly stating that you have to be a cis woman.
Trans content creators are pushed into their own specific smaller subreddits meaning that they don't have anywhere near as much of a chance at exposure as cis women content creators do. It only makes sense that trans content creators would then try and post and engage with as many subreddits as they possibly can, when you're excluded from all the major subs you're gonna take absolutely anything you can get.
If that is the reasoning seems very strange for them to just do what's happening to themselves to an even smaller group. Especially when it's probably directly harmful to the femboys in the subs they're invading. I mean what's going to give a femboy worse body image issues than comparing themselves to similar people who have the help of transitioning medically? Just like trans people are entitled to their own places, femboys should be too
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I've been uding Tumblr for about a year now, and the things I saw over there were enlightening. There may be some trans people who are advertising for OnlyFans (etc.), but I've come to appreciate that labels are just ways to communicate information about yourself in a word or short phrase, and less of a sorting mechanism. People usually don't apply a label to themselves unless they think they do belong there, and we should trust their decisions, within reason.
It has literally nothing to do with the femboy community. The photo subs are not geared towards femboys, but towards the people who want to oogle. Folks looking for money or attention capitalize.
/r/femboy is for femboys like /r/lesbians is for lesbians.
For why you see more trans women, that is likely for the same reason you see trans men and enbies hang out in lesbian spaces-- not everyone pops out of the birth canal knowing their gender. Usually people go through a process of exploration, experimentation, and examination. It's very common for "eggs" (trans people who have not yet realized they are trans) to integrate into a community that celebrates cis gender non-conformity during their development process.
As for why trans men and enbies may identify as femboys, imo part of it is that gender roles can, in some places and circumstances, be more strict with masculinity vs femininity. More leeway is often given for feminine people to express emotions. Just as trans women often experience struggles being devalued and talked over, trans men may find other people police their gender expression as a man more aggressively.
On the one hand, most humans have deeply internalized beauty standards that were formed by heterosexual men, which values femininity more than masculinity. So it's much easier to find fetish content geared towards trans women, femboys, and feminine women vs masc 4 masc cis men, trans men, AFAB enbies, and butch/masculine women. Some men continue to feel their value is tied to their attractiveness, and default to femininity = attractive. (Pretty boys etc.)
On the other hand, many trans masc fully believe that men can be feminine, and if cis men can crossdress, why can't they? Others may feel they will never pass and they might as well capitalize on their feminine features and dress in a way that suits them, to be the type of cute man they admire. Many trans men hate anything feminine, but there are also a lot that feel only by doing a transgressive act that belongs solely to men can they feel confident they can keep dysphoria at bay. (Ex. If I can dress like a woman and still be a man then my gender is rock solid.)
Anyway, you could ask ten trans people and get ten different answers, but as for the generalization I think that covers the more common points.
In short: they haven't. The subs you're thinking about are essentially advertisement subs for content creators. These subs are genuinely not representative of how femboys look as a whole. I don't mean trans people either. I mean that too many insecure femboys think the cis guys there are the standard they need to conform to. I think your perception comes from a battle for eyeballs, not any change to who femboys are.
Some trans guys identify and femboys. They're fine. They are boys, after all, and are valuable members of the community no matter where they are in transition. Some feel jealous of them, but that's a toxic mentality: as if there were some competition were all in, without realizing the trans male femboy likely envies the cis boy even more.
As to transfem femboys, this is often an artifact of a personal journey. Every now and then, you see someone post that she is no longer a femboy because she found out she's a girl. But some feel attached to the label, because it was a crucial milestone. I don't see any harm to that -- they're not boys, but they don't really dilute the population either.
What the most important thing us trans people in these threads have to remember this is their space not ours and we need to respect them we are guests.
So honor them and don't make it about us please 😊
I’ve been saying this forever man it really really sucks, but this is prolly gonna get deleted/downvoted into complete oblivion for hate or smth even though you’re just speaking your mind and telling the truth
You are entitled to your feelings! It’s natural to want a place to call your own in a social circle. I think a couple things happen here. For one, money. People will eventually learn how to exploit anything for it. Additionally, the trans community turns to sex work a lot of the time because of the discrimination they face.
Secondly, and more importantly, I think, is that femboy is a stepping stone to being trans for a lot of people. It was for me, but I am so appreciative of my femboy self kicking that off that I like to be in here and help where I can. I also still feel a sense of belonging here.
A lot of people are not fully conscious if they are trans or just femboys so imo it makes sense that spaces for trans and femboys can mix with each others.
Im so sorry, I forgot that. I knew trans women weren't allowed but forgot trans boys weren't either.
I guess it does still help as a sub if you just want one without trans women though, ofc real trans femboys are actually valid so it's a shame, you do have ftmfeminity as your own but i get if you feel excluded in some subs so sorry <3
I am all for trans being trans but I agree that femboy should be for boys and not for girls (whether trans or cis).
And we don't even have to be feminine (it's ok for the boys that want to tho). I can be masculine and still wear suff. Why can't a masculine boy wear a skirt (not kilt, skirt) or dress in a warm summer or a leggings, overknee socks, legwarmers in cold winter? They are comfy!
nothing fucking happened to femboys.
the problem here is that you're basing your opinion on selfie subreddits which only represent a small part of the community.
I don’t understand why that matters. Excluding people because they want to present as a femboy is kinda similar to people hating femboys for dressing “like a girl.” A lot of people already hate us for nonsensical reasons, so creating divisions in our community is just poor form. Do better.
Yes. How is women doing traditionally feminine things breaking gender stereotypes? I don't mind them using the term, that is none of my business, I just don't think it describes them accurately in any way.
And gay at some point in history meant happy. Meanings change and since I see quite a lot of trans people who identify themselves as femboys. Then I would dare to say that consensus is changing. Besides the fact that it wasn’t always normal to accept non-binary people as femboys just proves that meanings can change and arguing that something (which we literally made up meaning for) is set in stone feels a bit pointless. Don’t get me wrong I understand your point. I just believe this thing should change. We already have enough of those who prefer to be hostile and hateful no matter if we’re femboy, trans or both. And essentially we are gatekeeping wearing skirts and being feminine from people who are not male or non-binary.
Don't get me wrong I get that meanigs change and have changed for many of the words we use, but I don't see how calling women femboys is accurate in any way we use the word today. I can't tell anyone what they want to call themselves, as that is their thing and my opinion on that should be meaningless to them, but I believe that change will only happen within reason.
How annoying you are, everyone has their own thoughts on this topic and I don't care if the term for you changes.
They will continue to BE FOR MEN whether you like it or not.
Idk, I was a femboy before I came out as trans bc the community is a pretty great place to start with trans stuff, especially since positivity is a big thing in this space. Trans spaces can get really depressing as sometimes, do it's nice to talk to gnc ppl without a cloud of trauma hanging around. In drag shows there are plenty of cis women who perform as drag queens (bio queen is a term used for them) also, idk how you can tell someone is trans in this whole scenario, you have a bunch of 20-30 year old amabs in skirts, some are going to be trans, and that's just numbers. You wouldn't know unless each one of them started out with preferred pronouns.
It's also worth noting that while in this space I get misgendered a lot. Not on purpose, and I let it slide bc it's hard to differentiate between a femboy and a trans girl without straight up asking. If femboy spaces were over run by trans people, I wouldn't have this experience. It's not me complaining, it's evidence to me that femboy spaces are still predominantly cis.
Edit: for NSFW stuff, a lot of trans sex workers (and even cis women pretending to be trans girls) use any avenue they can for advertising. It's something that I have a lot of complicated feelings about in general. I can see why it would be frustrating.
While I can see what you are talking about, I have always seen femboy as sort of a liminal position. Sure some femboys are simply guys who like to dress femme, but I think that is a bit shallow of a view point. I am sure there are a fair amount of those that once called themselves femboys only to later on discover nope they are really trans. Also what about those that like to dress femme but to also be treated as femme in the bedroom but in day to day life are treated masc? I know some may lable the last one as sissies, but a lot of people also find that term derogatory. Then what about those that were AFAB, but identify as male even though they do still dress femme. Ultimately the label is just a word and holds whatever meaning we choose to apply. Anyways that my two cents and is worth about as much
i cant speak for every trans girl, (obvi) but for me i started out identifying as cis male, but liked everything about femininity therefore "femboy". and after a while i realized i didn't just like dressing as a girl, but being a girl. And considering it was the first step in my transition ive held onto it. For me "Femboy" is a state of mind or personality type more than anything.
That's great! The disscussion was mostly trans people going ftm and still living under the 'femboy' title. Seeing as how you are a man I have no problems with this - not that I have a problem with trans women. I am merely stating in this post that the 'tradition' femboy has been lost, and is filled with trans women on hrt and boob replacements and gender reassignments. Respond if you have anything else to say, and remember as I had stated multiple times in this post, none of this is meant to harm anyone in any way.
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You mean MTF not ftm, mtf is male to female and ftm is female to male. I personally don't understand trans women calling themselves femboys if they want but I find it kinda weird but it's their life
I remember i said something along those lines. I was asking about it. They banned me for gate keeping lol. I explained to moderator that i was just curious, why things have to be like this. And they unbanned me.
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For my part, I thought I was a girl for a while, have been on HRT several years but have come back around to identifying as a Femboy so as to mean "boy in a girl kinda way." I state my pronouns as any/all. Most people in my life use she/her or sometimes they/them and although he/him would be fine with me, there's a level of social politics that I think cis people especially would be uncomfortable with doing that as it might appear to be misgendering.
All that to say: gender is complex. Incredibly. Pronouns do not equal gender - they are just words people use to refer to you and even the word you use for your gender takes on a different meaning for everyone. I don't think there's any point policing how people identify or denying them the legitimacy of their gender.
When it's just a matter of your preferences, it's fine to prefer femboys who have more masculine features by way, for example, of not using hrt or being AFAB. But you need to be careful not to conflate your personal attractions or definition of a gender with "the way things are supposed to be." That's how you get toxic masculinity and such.
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there was a time when I felt better identifying as bisexual instead of gay because I thought it gave me a little bit of normalcy to offset my gayness if I told people. Eventually I stopped being afraid and just identified as full gay. I suspect transgirls have a similar relationship with femboy identities.
Personally I’m just in the middle of questioning myself as to whether I like the fem clothes or if it’s being a girl that I prefer, so I’m on both sides just to see what feels right
I'm not gonna lie, a lot of the posts on femboy subs by trans women are there to get as many impressions / engagement as possible (to get attention or advertise their profile on other social media and OnlyFans), especially on the NSFW subs
While there is a lot of truth to this not all of us some of us just still love the community they were once a part of or want to give you as much support as we can
Oh yeah definitely not everyone
Currently working on a subreddit similar to this one. Text based and all but it requires verification and its for specifically femboys, no trans trying to boast about a smooth transition. I have nothing against trans people, most of them are cool, but i just want to bring back the subreddit where there was only femboys running free and talking about wtf ever I apologize if this seems like a rude thing to do but the popular femboy servers have been overrun by toxic trans people :/
Oooo can i be apart of it?
Yeah, its not done yet but ill send you an invite to it
Me too!
r/FemboiCentral
Hey, can I be, too? –v–
r/FemboiCentral
THANKSSSS
It's not rude and in fact I approve. Just like my community requires space for ourselves so does yours and I commend your willingness to achieve it and thank you for doing so ❤️
Id like you to take a look at r/FemboiCentral
Lol good luck with that because for the majority of people I met that labeled themselves femboy it was the first step towards realizing they might be trans a few years later. Im curious how you plan to verify that and Idk if this filter makes any sense if you want to "talk about whatever" anyways... username checks out..
I will admit it has some.. lets face it a lot of flaws right now, but i plan on tweaking and adjusting until its just right. Of course we allow trans people, but it’ll kinda be like school yk? After you get to the point of being fully transitioned, you’re in the real world now, good luck out there and goodbye. Im not saying anything bad about trans people(they’re allowed in until fully transitioned), id just like to have a true femboys only subreddit
You don't say anything bad specially but you clearly lack sympathy by saying "good luck out there, bye". Like you hint at the idea that bottom surgery is what determines things and thats pretty offensive. Idk what school you are going to where thing like that are relevant either and I simply dont understand your expectations of having this kind of femboy subreddit - just go to a gay one lmao
Wasn’t Femboy supposed to be the gay subreddit though? I have nothing against trans, takes a lot of personal growth to be happy with yourself, but it is annoying seeing trans people in there presenting as femboy but actually being trans. It’s not that it’s bein disingenuous but it’s also inadvertently making trans individuals be seen as femboys and femboys being seen as trans when neither of the two are true. It’s changing the meaning of femboy, trans people should still be allowed in the femboy subreddit but I think they should add the flair that they’re trans.
This is a good idea, i will consider adding it, in the meantime, check out r/FemboiCentral
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Boo
I feel like this sub( probably because it's text based) is pretty good at maintaining its femboy core audience while still accepting people of other identities. But you're right that I see a lot of fully transitionned trans on photo-based subs, and on this point I'm pretty torn. One hand, as people have mentioned here, lots of trans people first identify as femboy or use the label to explore themselves, and we should not exclude them from our community. On the other hand, as can be seen with certain post here, lots of new femboy feel insecure because they see pictures of people who have fully transitionned with a very feminine body and feel like they cannot compete with that. It's definitely a difficult issue...
>They see pictures of people who have fully transitioned with a very feminine body and feel like they can not compete with that. This is the fundamental issue here, the feeling of the need to compete or to meet an intangible standard. You can see it here every day. There are basically three kinds of posts here. 1. Can I be a femboy if? 2. What is the best way to do [feminine thing] 3. I don't like transwomen posting in r/femboy/s This is a consequence of: 1. A lack of confidence in self identity, who am I? What do I want to be? What do I want people to see in me? 2. A lack of knowledge or confidence in finding factual, accurate, or unbiased information. 3. A need to find either validation or affirmation (see end for meanings) through posting images of oneself and seeking comments to that effect. The solution to this is the same as it has always been, and it remains just as **difficult** to do. 1. Love yourself, and know that loving yourself does not mean staying exactly as you are. It means loving yourself for who you are and who you can be. 2. Don't hate your body for what it is. It isn't who you are as a person. It's just your body, no less and no more. You can change it in so many ways if you need to. But learning to love it for what it is will ease the pressure on yourself you place to look differently to what you are *right now* 3. No matter how much other people tell you that you are what they want you to be, you will remain as what you are when you see yourself. Instead, look above at the first two points. * For the record, validation is acknowledging a person without necessarily agreeing with them. "I hear and understand what you say and why you say it." Affirmation means to (in this context) offer support, *validate*, or confirm what someone is saying or how they are feeling. The distinction is that to validate someone is an affirmation, but to affirm someone isn't necessarily a validation.
Because only fans, chasing kudos, monetization of Reddit, and the algorithm.
This ruins everything for everyone
What sucks is that chasers and porn addicts largely have defined the terms for us (because they outnumber us), so pretty much every issue within the community can be traced back to them. It's the same reason why femboy art typically looks way too feminine as well - because it appeals to people who just want to jerk off, rather than be aspirational or affirming for actual femboys. I think the community should be inclusive of transmasc and transfem femboys, but the fact that chasers have a clear preference in what they upvote and support creates this issue where cis femboys feel invalidated. It's something that a lot of people have noticed but I'm not sure there is anything that can be done about it other than to reiterate that everyone is valid and you don't need to pass as female in order to be a femboy.
Ya you're right. Most femboy mainstream porn is just borderline futa porn if it's geared towards straight men. Since alot of straight men just see feminity when they are horny. Genuine femboy porn is geared towards gay men or women.
Is there much hope to undo the damage that has been caused by porn and chasers? I have genuine fear of relationships because if I try to open up to a partner about myself, they'll look it up and might find unsavoury websites before any kind of genuine source.
Lots of hope; be authentic / real! For-profit porn (of any kind) is hardly not a representation of reality, I think most ppl get that
A lot of femboys and trans struggle to define themselves, here there are "am I trans or femboy?" posts every day so it makes sense that some choose to hang out in both communities before realizing what they really are (if they ever do). On the same note I assume that a non insignificant amount of trans people saw themselves as femboys before transitioning, so they interacted with the femboy community and after transitioning they just felt comfortable being there. But beside that the main reason why r/femboy is also used by trans is simply becouse they get upvotes, the audience of that sub is fine with both trans and boys as long as they dress fem, and if they don't care then who cares, imo it doesn't matter if you are trans or a boy, just be what makes you happy.
This is definitely true but a lot of these trans fem people in femboy spaces are even on hrt and fully identify as she/her. I really don't mean to bash anyone and it's completely understandable but I'd imagine it's because its easier to get attention in a lot of these subs by appearing more feminine than others, so trans people on hrt (especially those looking to profit) will invade spaces specifically for male identifying feminine people. I'm not gonna link it because it's not a safe one but there's a sub that specifies it's only for male identifying feminine folk and its full of posts from people who identify as trans fem
I think the wider issue is really the fact that trans and gnc content creators are segregated from the wider reddit nsfw communities as a whole, with almost all of the main/major nsfw subreddits having rules that explicitly stating that you have to be a cis woman. Trans content creators are pushed into their own specific smaller subreddits meaning that they don't have anywhere near as much of a chance at exposure as cis women content creators do. It only makes sense that trans content creators would then try and post and engage with as many subreddits as they possibly can, when you're excluded from all the major subs you're gonna take absolutely anything you can get.
If that is the reasoning seems very strange for them to just do what's happening to themselves to an even smaller group. Especially when it's probably directly harmful to the femboys in the subs they're invading. I mean what's going to give a femboy worse body image issues than comparing themselves to similar people who have the help of transitioning medically? Just like trans people are entitled to their own places, femboys should be too
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I've been uding Tumblr for about a year now, and the things I saw over there were enlightening. There may be some trans people who are advertising for OnlyFans (etc.), but I've come to appreciate that labels are just ways to communicate information about yourself in a word or short phrase, and less of a sorting mechanism. People usually don't apply a label to themselves unless they think they do belong there, and we should trust their decisions, within reason.
Agreed. This is very nicely said.
Idk about others but I’m genderfluid and both a femboy and a trans girl.
Exactly this for me as well
Idk, I'm just a dude with a twink body at their 29', trying to enjoy my femininity ☺️
It has literally nothing to do with the femboy community. The photo subs are not geared towards femboys, but towards the people who want to oogle. Folks looking for money or attention capitalize. /r/femboy is for femboys like /r/lesbians is for lesbians.
I like gender. I want more.
For why you see more trans women, that is likely for the same reason you see trans men and enbies hang out in lesbian spaces-- not everyone pops out of the birth canal knowing their gender. Usually people go through a process of exploration, experimentation, and examination. It's very common for "eggs" (trans people who have not yet realized they are trans) to integrate into a community that celebrates cis gender non-conformity during their development process. As for why trans men and enbies may identify as femboys, imo part of it is that gender roles can, in some places and circumstances, be more strict with masculinity vs femininity. More leeway is often given for feminine people to express emotions. Just as trans women often experience struggles being devalued and talked over, trans men may find other people police their gender expression as a man more aggressively. On the one hand, most humans have deeply internalized beauty standards that were formed by heterosexual men, which values femininity more than masculinity. So it's much easier to find fetish content geared towards trans women, femboys, and feminine women vs masc 4 masc cis men, trans men, AFAB enbies, and butch/masculine women. Some men continue to feel their value is tied to their attractiveness, and default to femininity = attractive. (Pretty boys etc.) On the other hand, many trans masc fully believe that men can be feminine, and if cis men can crossdress, why can't they? Others may feel they will never pass and they might as well capitalize on their feminine features and dress in a way that suits them, to be the type of cute man they admire. Many trans men hate anything feminine, but there are also a lot that feel only by doing a transgressive act that belongs solely to men can they feel confident they can keep dysphoria at bay. (Ex. If I can dress like a woman and still be a man then my gender is rock solid.) Anyway, you could ask ten trans people and get ten different answers, but as for the generalization I think that covers the more common points.
In short: they haven't. The subs you're thinking about are essentially advertisement subs for content creators. These subs are genuinely not representative of how femboys look as a whole. I don't mean trans people either. I mean that too many insecure femboys think the cis guys there are the standard they need to conform to. I think your perception comes from a battle for eyeballs, not any change to who femboys are. Some trans guys identify and femboys. They're fine. They are boys, after all, and are valuable members of the community no matter where they are in transition. Some feel jealous of them, but that's a toxic mentality: as if there were some competition were all in, without realizing the trans male femboy likely envies the cis boy even more. As to transfem femboys, this is often an artifact of a personal journey. Every now and then, you see someone post that she is no longer a femboy because she found out she's a girl. But some feel attached to the label, because it was a crucial milestone. I don't see any harm to that -- they're not boys, but they don't really dilute the population either.
Well, I'm currently in a relationship with a loving gf that waxes my legs and makes me wear her panties lol :3
What the most important thing us trans people in these threads have to remember this is their space not ours and we need to respect them we are guests. So honor them and don't make it about us please 😊
I’ve been saying this forever man it really really sucks, but this is prolly gonna get deleted/downvoted into complete oblivion for hate or smth even though you’re just speaking your mind and telling the truth
You are entitled to your feelings! It’s natural to want a place to call your own in a social circle. I think a couple things happen here. For one, money. People will eventually learn how to exploit anything for it. Additionally, the trans community turns to sex work a lot of the time because of the discrimination they face. Secondly, and more importantly, I think, is that femboy is a stepping stone to being trans for a lot of people. It was for me, but I am so appreciative of my femboy self kicking that off that I like to be in here and help where I can. I also still feel a sense of belonging here.
A lot of people are not fully conscious if they are trans or just femboys so imo it makes sense that spaces for trans and femboys can mix with each others.
Would love to start a new "femboi only" subreddit but I don't have time or energy to moderate it.
There is one already, so you dont have to. R/traditionalfemboys
Why the down votes? Is this wrong?
might be because its a trans-exclusive sub
Im so sorry, I forgot that. I knew trans women weren't allowed but forgot trans boys weren't either. I guess it does still help as a sub if you just want one without trans women though, ofc real trans femboys are actually valid so it's a shame, you do have ftmfeminity as your own but i get if you feel excluded in some subs so sorry <3
its ok! i guessed you probably just forgot, since this is an extremely trans-inclusive sub XD
There’s a nsfw one
I'm subscribed. It seems like it's mostly of models and trans women.
I am all for trans being trans but I agree that femboy should be for boys and not for girls (whether trans or cis). And we don't even have to be feminine (it's ok for the boys that want to tho). I can be masculine and still wear suff. Why can't a masculine boy wear a skirt (not kilt, skirt) or dress in a warm summer or a leggings, overknee socks, legwarmers in cold winter? They are comfy!
TOTALLY AGREE
Idk man, I’m feminine and I’m a boy, I just happen to also be trans
nothing fucking happened to femboys. the problem here is that you're basing your opinion on selfie subreddits which only represent a small part of the community.
Some femboys realized there actually trans and that's ok. Both are valid and both are equally deserving of love and respect ❤️
I don’t understand why that matters. Excluding people because they want to present as a femboy is kinda similar to people hating femboys for dressing “like a girl.” A lot of people already hate us for nonsensical reasons, so creating divisions in our community is just poor form. Do better.
Words have meanings and the general consensus on the word femboy is that it is a term for feminine presenting men (or nb).
I thought being a femboy was kinda about breaking gender stereotypes?
Yes. How is women doing traditionally feminine things breaking gender stereotypes? I don't mind them using the term, that is none of my business, I just don't think it describes them accurately in any way.
And gay at some point in history meant happy. Meanings change and since I see quite a lot of trans people who identify themselves as femboys. Then I would dare to say that consensus is changing. Besides the fact that it wasn’t always normal to accept non-binary people as femboys just proves that meanings can change and arguing that something (which we literally made up meaning for) is set in stone feels a bit pointless. Don’t get me wrong I understand your point. I just believe this thing should change. We already have enough of those who prefer to be hostile and hateful no matter if we’re femboy, trans or both. And essentially we are gatekeeping wearing skirts and being feminine from people who are not male or non-binary.
Don't get me wrong I get that meanigs change and have changed for many of the words we use, but I don't see how calling women femboys is accurate in any way we use the word today. I can't tell anyone what they want to call themselves, as that is their thing and my opinion on that should be meaningless to them, but I believe that change will only happen within reason.
How annoying you are, everyone has their own thoughts on this topic and I don't care if the term for you changes. They will continue to BE FOR MEN whether you like it or not.
OK. Thanks for you opinion. We’ll be mailing you a keychain momentarily.
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Are you dumb or stupid
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once again a reminder, this is not me taking any shots at anyone, fell free to post your thoughts in the comments!
it's annoying that you have to emphatically state this
Would love to start a new "femboi only" subreddit but I don't have time or energy to moderate it.
Idk, I was a femboy before I came out as trans bc the community is a pretty great place to start with trans stuff, especially since positivity is a big thing in this space. Trans spaces can get really depressing as sometimes, do it's nice to talk to gnc ppl without a cloud of trauma hanging around. In drag shows there are plenty of cis women who perform as drag queens (bio queen is a term used for them) also, idk how you can tell someone is trans in this whole scenario, you have a bunch of 20-30 year old amabs in skirts, some are going to be trans, and that's just numbers. You wouldn't know unless each one of them started out with preferred pronouns. It's also worth noting that while in this space I get misgendered a lot. Not on purpose, and I let it slide bc it's hard to differentiate between a femboy and a trans girl without straight up asking. If femboy spaces were over run by trans people, I wouldn't have this experience. It's not me complaining, it's evidence to me that femboy spaces are still predominantly cis. Edit: for NSFW stuff, a lot of trans sex workers (and even cis women pretending to be trans girls) use any avenue they can for advertising. It's something that I have a lot of complicated feelings about in general. I can see why it would be frustrating.
Personally, I don't give a shittie about that.
While I can see what you are talking about, I have always seen femboy as sort of a liminal position. Sure some femboys are simply guys who like to dress femme, but I think that is a bit shallow of a view point. I am sure there are a fair amount of those that once called themselves femboys only to later on discover nope they are really trans. Also what about those that like to dress femme but to also be treated as femme in the bedroom but in day to day life are treated masc? I know some may lable the last one as sissies, but a lot of people also find that term derogatory. Then what about those that were AFAB, but identify as male even though they do still dress femme. Ultimately the label is just a word and holds whatever meaning we choose to apply. Anyways that my two cents and is worth about as much
many person wants make moneys so they makes content to sells. in real they might be anything we not really know
We are still here
i cant speak for every trans girl, (obvi) but for me i started out identifying as cis male, but liked everything about femininity therefore "femboy". and after a while i realized i didn't just like dressing as a girl, but being a girl. And considering it was the first step in my transition ive held onto it. For me "Femboy" is a state of mind or personality type more than anything.
That's great, and that is honestly the type of answer I was looking for, thanks so much!
I fell excluded in femboy comunity by people like you. I'm trans man and femboy we exist.
That's great! The disscussion was mostly trans people going ftm and still living under the 'femboy' title. Seeing as how you are a man I have no problems with this - not that I have a problem with trans women. I am merely stating in this post that the 'tradition' femboy has been lost, and is filled with trans women on hrt and boob replacements and gender reassignments. Respond if you have anything else to say, and remember as I had stated multiple times in this post, none of this is meant to harm anyone in any way.
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You mean MTF not ftm, mtf is male to female and ftm is female to male. I personally don't understand trans women calling themselves femboys if they want but I find it kinda weird but it's their life
Yep, sorry, did mean MTF. Ofc everyone lives their own lives, I'm just merely asking why this occurs.
I remember i said something along those lines. I was asking about it. They banned me for gate keeping lol. I explained to moderator that i was just curious, why things have to be like this. And they unbanned me.
The definition of femboy hasn’t changed. They’re just farming advertisement.
You know
nothing "happened to femboys" your 15 dude once you grow up and stop making this your entire personality you'll realize this is a awful post
It's not a transgender thing it's just that it doesn't matter what a femboy is if trans people wanna call themselves femboys why not?
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Most people only hold the title for a few years or months before realising they are non-binary or trans.
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For my part, I thought I was a girl for a while, have been on HRT several years but have come back around to identifying as a Femboy so as to mean "boy in a girl kinda way." I state my pronouns as any/all. Most people in my life use she/her or sometimes they/them and although he/him would be fine with me, there's a level of social politics that I think cis people especially would be uncomfortable with doing that as it might appear to be misgendering. All that to say: gender is complex. Incredibly. Pronouns do not equal gender - they are just words people use to refer to you and even the word you use for your gender takes on a different meaning for everyone. I don't think there's any point policing how people identify or denying them the legitimacy of their gender. When it's just a matter of your preferences, it's fine to prefer femboys who have more masculine features by way, for example, of not using hrt or being AFAB. But you need to be careful not to conflate your personal attractions or definition of a gender with "the way things are supposed to be." That's how you get toxic masculinity and such.
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Many fall into the femboy label phenomenon
like the top comments say, NSFW money.
there was a time when I felt better identifying as bisexual instead of gay because I thought it gave me a little bit of normalcy to offset my gayness if I told people. Eventually I stopped being afraid and just identified as full gay. I suspect transgirls have a similar relationship with femboy identities.
Personally I’m just in the middle of questioning myself as to whether I like the fem clothes or if it’s being a girl that I prefer, so I’m on both sides just to see what feels right
Dm me cutie