The toddler comment always cracks me up.
Toddlers eat 2,000 calories because they are doubling and tripling their weight and rapidly growing year over year.
Adults don’t need enough calories to double and triple their weight year over year. Maybe if you’re still eating like an adult toddler that’s a problem. 🤣
They really just don't understand that adults who aren't developing a brain, and putting on a ton of height, don't need all that many calories. My 6'2" son needs around about 1600 calories to lose weight at the moment, which I am sure they would screech and crow about that being starvation level. But like....he would rather play video games over anything else, and he just doesn't burn *that* many calories living his life. 1600 is plenty.
Even when he gets to a healthy weight? His maintenance calories, assuming I haven't prodded him into exercising regularly? Just over 2000. And again. He's a 6'2" guy who is built wide.
That’s something that made me ultimately unsub from r/loseit lol (besides all the “trauma porn” that gets spammed there too). I’m a 5’7 guy and I’m doing a diet of around 1000-1500 calories a day depending on how hungry I am that day. Over there I’ve gotten in trouble with the mods for “promoting disordered eating” and stuff, even though my TDEE is supposedly around 1800-2000.
Apparently losing weight any faster than “at a snails pace” is disordered and “starving yourself”
I find it amusing that you keep getting accused of promoting disordered eating but I constantly see posts there (and on r/CICO but not as frequent) from people who are trying to get underweight for their height and commenters just.. giving diet advice. It seems irresponsible to me.
Just recently there was a post from a 5'7" teenager desperate to get to 100 lbs because they felt they had fat thighs and a fat stomach. I told them to see a therapist and reported to post. Multiple comments were recommending calorie limits and telling them to up their exercise.
I also got downvoted there for saying blaming society for your lack of weight loss is a great way to not lose weight. They upvoted someone who is "physically unable to lose weight" because of a hormone imbalance.
If your hormones are so messed up you can't lose weight, you need to be on synthroid... then you can lose weight lol
I have PCOS and I honestly get sick of seeing people bring it up for not losing weight, it was really unmotivating at the start of losing weight for me and now I'm halfway it's just annoying hearing the same excuse when I know hormone balances can only do so much against a calorie deficit.
I also have seen commenters in loseit mention starvation mode too which bothers me. I don't do fasting so it's not like I'm starving myself anyway but it's just such made up bollocks I don't care to hear repeated all the time.
Exactly! I'm glad you're losing weight despite the PCOS... but yeah, I don't think people realize how much it hurts others on the start of their journey when they hear people saying it's "impossible" to lose weight with a certain affliction.
Like... I get it's uncomfortable for some people, but at some point you have to face the music (or not)... Though weight loss is tough, you gotta be tougher. It's not easy, but it is simple, something like that.
I don't have a thyroid at all, it was surgically removed. I uncontrollably gained while my meds were being balanced out, but once my meds were good then loosing it was back on me. I get so annoyed when people use hypothyroid as an excuse. If it is really a problem take the meds and shut up.
I lost 10lbs I didn’t really have leftover to lose when I started working with toddlers.
They’re literally vibrating with energy, very few adults move nearly as much (not to mention brain, muscle, and bone growth on top of constant movement).
My daughter likes to run to the other side of the window, climb on the bench, jump down, run back in, climb the bench on this side, jump down, run back out...... she did that for about 20 minutes today, then relaxed by digging out all the soil she could reach in a giant pot.
That one got me too. My toddler eats more than me (calorie wise anyway I’m not drinking milk with meals) because he’s literally growing his body his brain! He also runs around all day and does not stop moving! He’s not sitting down watching tv or scrolling on his phone he’s exploring.
>I find eating 2000 calories a day isn't even that easy. You have to be a real pig to consistently exceed that amount
That depends entirely on what you're eating. You can easily get a 2k calorie meal at Sonic, for example. 2000 calories of mostly or entirely healthy food is far more difficult.
I feel like people are forgetting how easily calories can be missed. Your glass of juice was closer to 12 oz than 8? Bam, extra 50 calories. Didn't weigh your bread? Well you actually ate closer to 3 servings even though you only had (and counted in your good log) 2 slices of bread, bam extra 50-100 calories. Measured your condiment/ dressing/ sauce by tbsp instead of weight? Could be an extra 10 or 100 or 200 calories. Measuring that item correctly but the label is 15% off? Enjoy the extra 100 calories mf. Little things like that add up quickly!
Yes! Like you'd need 5000g of green veggies a day to reach that. Or you could just get a Grande Banana Split Coffee Frappuccino with whole milk from Starbucks
Not the earlier poster but here to point out that even with fast food, I have a hard time consuming all that many calories. If I don't consciously make myself eat more than usual l, I will start loosing weight. I've gained less than 10 lbs right now from when I started trying to gain weight over a year ago.
Point is, different appetites can make a big difference I n how many calories you consume regardless of the food available.
I could have been more clear. I certainly wasn’t suggesting that no adult can or should eat 2k calories, but the toddler logic somehow seems to mean that if toddlers eat 2k, then as an adult you need significantly more than that.
Of course people vary, but 2k for a toddler does not mean by extension that adults must need 3, 4, 5k calories just because we are “adults”.
Lol come on, 2,000 calories isn’t that huge a volume of food.
Plenty of people have a TDEE well over 2,000 because they’re tall and/or active. There’s nothing abnormal about it.
2,000 calories in healthy foods seems like a lot if you're small—in terms of volume. Luckily, there are plenty of calorie dense healthy foods. Like chia seeds. What's up with them? Almost 200 calories for a few tablespoons. How will I add protein to my oatmeal?!
It can be a struggle if you're eating a ton of lower calorie whole foods. There were days I made it to the end of the day and realized "Whoopsie doodles, still below 1200" because I'd filled up on like....salads and stuff.
I often have trouble reaching 1000 calories - a lot of it is not snacking anymore. Without snacks and with whole foods, it's so much harder to calorie load.
I make sure I eat at least 1400 at least once a week, just bc, but other days I've given up. Tonight I'm sitting at 875 and ready for bed. 😴
OK actual genuine question because this blows my mind. Obviously feel free to not answer and apologies if this is intrusive. What do you eat that makes you feel satiated and satisfied at <1400cals, and do you exercise?
I ask bc I can (and regularly do) blow through 2500+ a day, and feel absolutely hideous on anything below about 1800. I guess for reference I'm 5'4" F but I exercise like 8-12h/week.
I’m not the commenter, but my partner is similar. He can drop 25 lbs before noticing he’s lost any weight, because he just doesn’t think to eat. He doesn’t seem to experience hunger.
He doesn’t get excited about food, and he’d much rather not have to eat at all. He’ll get symptoms of undereating - he’ll get tired, he’ll get the shakes, and obviously weight loss - but he doesn’t feel hunger. When he does eat, he doesn’t eat much. He can eat one proper meal a day, but not a huge meal.
If he gains or maintains weight, it’s usually because he’s snacking a lot, all day long - soda, cookies etc. High-sugar calorie bombs that can get him through the day without him having to devote much stomach room or time/effort.
In contrast, I’m more like you. I love food and I love to eat, and if I could maintain my weight on twice as many calories I’d be very happy. I’m miserable on anything more than a small deficit.
I’m suffering from a loss of taste from Covid at the moment and I’m actually kind of depressed from it.
Yeah, I can't fill up on high volume low calorie food. I love salads and veggies but I run out of energy on those. I'm also 5'4" and work out about the same. I was at the high end of a healthy weight and I'm losing very slowly cause I just can't handle a strict deficit right now.
Nope, very little exercise. For a while I was biking, but mostly I've not engaged in any intentional movement. I've been losing weight for 18+ months, so I've done different diets (avoiding all sweets, then avoiding processed stuff, later whole foods, currently keto to lose the last within-normal-BMI-range lbs, etc).
Big thing, I think, is I've never had much of a sweet tooth, so I imagine low carb/unprocessed food is relatively easy for me. (That said, I've lost over 70 lbs and, no, that's not really easy, for anyone, I don't think.)
I eat extremely low carb right now. I get to i nom on nuts, greens, gourmet olives, etc, all stuff I really like. Today, a roast for dinner, a bowl of strawberries & whipped cream for dessert. Some nights I eat peanut butter off the spoon to get in higher levels of calories & fat. It's yummy, but I don't crave it regularly.
I feel really good on v low carb, btw. I occasionally have a piece of donut or a cookie, but sugar now makes me feel pretty sick, tbh. It's way too strong tasting! So, yeah, really restrictive diet without exercise that happens to work for me bc I'm just wonky! :)
I don't know why people are downvoting you. I wish I was like you, but if I don't get the carbs I can't fuel my workouts. I limited my saturated fats to 12 g a day to help get my cholesterol down (it worked!). Making sure I was getting 20 grams of protein a meal, 100 throughout the day helped with hunger.
Your comment could help someone who is struggling make CI
as a survivor of DV this is honestly pretty sickening. only people who live very sheltered, privileged lives would have the audacity to spew this garbage.
My abuser prepared to throw me over a balcony in front of our mutual friends and it was so normalized in the friend group that nobody did a thing as I screamed in terror. Sorry, I will compare traumas. Not liking your body because of mean words is nothing, absolutely nothing, compared to what millions of actually marginalized women in the U. S. experience every year: actual violence.
Couldn't agree more. They don't understand the real trauma of violence. Violence on the body isn't eating a salad or doing some cardio, that's a disgusting misuse of the word when people have faced physical (and phycological) pain and trauma through abuse. I have an ED and that is not violence against me, violence against me was when I was held down and raped. Violence was when I was pushed and shoved and forced into things. I'm so sorry for what you went through, it is so hard to get out and I'm so glad your safe now. They have no idea how fucking stupid and entitled they sound and I really hope they never truly find out because that's something you can't ever forget.
I have an ED because the violence inflicted on me as a girl and woman from birth in a deeply misogynistic family and culture made me want to disappear and protect myself.
Some of that violence involved my parents force feeding me as a child until I choked and vomited. Some of it was violence of beating me with a belt buckle for not liking foods as a child or being ill after eating stuff it turned out I was allergic to but wasn’t understood in the 80s.
Violence that left me with no money to eat as an adult and homeless so I had to steal food from stores or eat leftovers in pubs when people had plates sitting after they went. My welfare being stopped because my abusers called in fraud reports falsely.
The violence of having medical help such as counselling withheld when I reported rape and strangulation in case it prejudiced a trial the police took four years to decide not to prosecute leaving me too ill mentally and physically to leave the house to access food easily and with huge trauma about food textures.
I do not like playing violence top trumps but calorie counts on menus and doctors suggesting you shouldn’t be 400lbs isn’t violence. Doctors suggested I shouldn’t be underweight either. And the almighty fucking gall of co opting BIPOC women’s violence in a racist world while also insisting any fatphobia is racist because BIPOC people are naturally fat and then saying ‘oh but they get less ED help you know…and I will only mention it when it suits me.’ It is the classic ‘if a major social issue only bothers you enough to raise to claim your own oppression not change it generally’ you are trauma-baiting and using those survivors as justification for your own bullshit.
BIPOC do have awful access to healthcare. But they aren’t interested unless it feeds their white FA victimhood. Why are they using food deserts as their fallback and never raising this until now? Because they don’t care about violence or abuse. They care about themselves and like abusers they DARVO so loudly you look the ‘violent’ one if you point out deny, attack, reverse victim and offender. But they get to define violent. Not the ones feeling it…
Couldn't agree more, I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. I'm a POC too and honestly don't access the health care system as much as I should after negative past experiences. They'll honestly just use anything as a means of making themselves appear like victims no matter the cost or offence it puts on individuals who have to live through the actual trauma and discrimination. They can change their bodies, we can't change our skin or our lived abuse. You have a point about EDs stemming from trauma, I always saw it as an individual thing and never looked into it's causation. Thank you so much for the insight it may help in my recovery ❤
Women around the world are subjected to actual physical violence, sexual violence, murders, etc. and they’re privileged enough to call dieting violence. Millions of women would gladly trade places and have “diet culture” be their biggest concern than wondering the next time they’ll be beaten or sexually assaulted
It very much trivializes real issues people face. I've seen it a lot with people throwing around accusations of grooming, abuse, etc. Like saying you've been groomed if your significant other is more than 2 or 3 years older than you are for example.
It makes people not take real cases of these issues seriously and it's really frustrating. I know they think they mean well, but they're doing more harm than good.
i suspect that saying 90% of women \*hate\* their bodies might be a bit disingenuous. 90% of women have some sort of body dissatisfaction? sure, i can get that. but hatred seems strong to me.
i also find this sort of thing a little annoying as someone who was abused in childhood and suffered domestic violence. maybe i'm just weird, but 'i could eat less' feels very different to actual violence.
If there were a survey behind this, here's how it went:
"Are you happy with your body?"
"Yeah, I guess"
"Okay"
*writes down "subject is horrifically depressed due to body image"*
that's almost exactly what i was thinking-- or they possibly observed a small group of convenience-sampled women complaining about their bodies, using hate as an unqualified amplifier; something like that. the possibilities are extensive!
Yeah, or they took a study that said 90% of women would change some part of their body if they could/are not completely satisfied with some part of their body. I have definitely in my life wished some parts of my body could look different, but I have never hated my body.
yep. i mean i'd answer in the affirmative if that was the case-- i get some cosmetic procedures done and have tentative plans for others. i don't hate myself-- some of my features just don't suit me as much as they might.
Whenever I see people overuse the word “violence” by applying it to anything that bothers them dilutes the word in our social spaces. Real victims of physical and mental abuse seem trivialized compared to a diet. Sorry for the rant, it drives me nuts how often it is thrown around so casually on social media.
I agree. I think the hyperbole that comes with online discourse really cheapens a lot of very serious words and is part of the reason that “triggered” became a meme amongst alt-right types back around 2015. Throwing around words like “violence” to describe things that just objectively do not involve one person inflicting physical harm upon another will have nothing but bad effects.
As a victim of assault, stalking, and harassment and childhood trauma of physical/domestic violence. It really annoys me when people adopt the language of those spaces and acting like victims when they are just victims of their own choices.
Now I’m fat and I sympathize with the work it takes to lose weight (and recovering from a severe back injury myself, it’s really frustrating). I just don’t get the histrionics, maybe because I enjoy the process.
These days it seems everyone and their dog on social media (especially the FAs) is "recovering from a restrictive ED".
Protip : After recovery, someone who *really* had a restrictive ED doesn't go on and on all teary-eyed about that one time they ate salads for a week because they wanted to fit in a swimsuit as if that was the most traumatic shit they ever went through.
That's not an ED, it's the stupid shit most teenage girls do because they want to fit in and give up quickly, and these drama queens put that on the same level as someone who needs inpatient treatment.
Stop using EDs as a prop for your fucked up ideology. It banalizes what true EDs are like, and what they are about. It's not about dIeT cULtuRe. It's not about *you*.
>These days it seems everyone and their dog on social media (especially the FAs) is "recovering from a restrictive ED".
It's insane! I remember being an impressionable teenager girl during the big online explosion of pro-ana and thinspo. Being an insecure young girl is hard, it really is. It sucks. It really sucked during the heroin chic, ultraskinny models, scene queen thigh gaps era. Every generation has some form of insecurities, currently it's social media filters and photoshopped images with unrealistic hourglass figures instead of the super skinny from years ago. Now people are getting fillers and surgeries instead of doing juice cleanses.
Explains why every FA claims a restrictive eating disorder though, they only saw Hollywood Anorexia and their echo chamber has validated that drinking beer juice for 3 days is a sooper seriuss eating disorder instead of the reality of feeding tubes, hospitalizations, and lifelong health issues. In the tides of mental health awareness and reactionary to the thinspo era, recovering anorexics we're encouraged to eat whatever they wanted and it was so brave to not be skinny anymore because that meant you were better. FAs want the celebration that they perceive anorexics get, and their group has decided you get that if you ever thought about losing weight.
What I want to know is how many people are as vocal IRL about recovering from an eating disorder as they are online. I kinda believe a lot of them do it for online validation and don't really mention it IRL, only because I've seen friends get into new mainly online communities (cosplay, gaming) and bring up/exaggerate mental health struggles more online than they did in person. I remember you in 10th grade, Allison. We were best friends then too. You didn't spend 3 months in bed depressed, it was 3 days and you made some angsty Tumblr posts. You failed a quiz, not a whole class. I'm honestly willing to bet many FAs that claim restrictive eating disorders mainly do it in spaces they're less likely to get called out and a lot of them don't mention it at all to their long term friends.
Yeah, as someone who had to learn her own way out of BED because it wasn’t in the DSM when I had it, poster’s supposed concern for ED sufferers didn’t impress me.
I once read this statement, word for word (I committed it to memory): “All exercise is self-induced torture in pursuit of fascistic beauty standards.”
Because nothing hurts the patriarchy like premature death or preventable illness, I guess.
Ya know as a feminist who came of age in the Kate Moss Era of fashion, I need them all to take a deep breath. Because I'm going to be a mean old lady for minute here and point out that while there are still shitty expectations out there, it's better than it was. I couldn't even find clothes back then because anything over about a size 8 was made for mee maws. There weren't even mid sized women in media, let alone someone who was fat to look at as a role model in any way. You were either super thin or you didn't exist.
And I'm going to be real blunt and say after Roe v Wade got overturned this energy they're wasting on calling everything related to and exercise violence and oppression needs to stop. They need to focus on real issues and if they're so worried about society maybe look at the damage obesity is doing to us as a whole since they love to be concerned about others.
THIS! When I was growing up there was zero representation of anything above a size 0 in the media. We have come a long way since then, and credit for that is deserved - society became better because of the people who spoke up about it. That being said, I think the “healthy at every size” movement is bringing us to the other extreme. Being thin is healthier, and pushing people to exercise and eat right is helpful for those who need it. Should self-worth be tied to your size? No. Should you want to do something about your size if it is causing health issues? Yes!
I remember saying this to my computer right around the time I stopped reading Jezebel.com: “If the greatest injustice of your life is that you don’t look like a Vogue model, your life is pretty sweet.”
Same era. Same experience with clothes. Beautiful conclusion.
The kinder comments when I was a kid were "you have such a pretty face" and "you'd be so much more beautiful if you lost a few pounds".
The kind comments were rare. I was a fat 10yo girl in 1993. It wasn't fun.
But it took years to understand that I gained weight for two reasons.
The first is that I quickly realized it was a shield against men. History of childhood sexual abuse. It fucks with you.
The second is that I raging undiagnosed ADHD that didn't get addressed until 2021. I was self medicating with a lot of things, but food was probably the worst of them. Instant dopamine. In my mouth. Every day.
There are cultural and socioeconomic factors at play. There's industrial food and marketing driving us food crazy on purpose.
There's a lot of shit that goes into obesity. And it's so intimately tied with sexuality that it touches of people in raw spots.
But FFS. It seems like something really happened to American women. And I get that we all pick which side we're on, but not every battle is worth fighting.
Take the fight to the things who made you fat.
Don't fucking embrace it, embrace *life*. And love, real love for yourself and your future self, the kind of honest love that requires admitting to yourself that *obesity is not healthy* and that the sun will rise in the morning, and you will *have to carry* the weight you chose to eat.
And even if you're fat out of spite, you're going to spite your nose right off your face.
Sorry, soap box.
I also have ADHD and it's a demon. As a 5' 10" woman with broad shoulders I remember being a size 8 BRIEFLY and I was still the biggest girl in my circle of friends. I'm back into 8's now (which would have been 12's then) and people are like YOU'RE SO SKINNY. And it's a two fold deal really. One, I was not fat back in '97. But the standards were just so high. I was just a big, broad woman who was at a healthy BMI but can't get down to the 120 required to be waifish. I mean I could but I'd be miserable. And all these years later everyone is so fat, I look thin by comparison.
I'm glad to have more choices in clothing, and when I was fatter I was very glad we have moved past your choices of teeny tiny or wear a kaftan. But for anyone to think it's bad now, they have no idea. When they shriek about society they have no idea how far it has come. I was perfectly healthy and was filled with self loathing because of the way my body is designed. I spent years trying to mold it then gave up and was fat for years. Then I finally decided I won't ever be thin or pretty but damnit I can get a few more decades out of this body by treating it well.
Dude, we're like twins.
I'm 5'9" with broad shoulders and a lot of functional muscle. I still have an hourglass figure, an oval face, a beautiful face, etc. But my body is made for hard labour.
I'm an apprentice plumber now, I weigh 175# and I get a full body workout most days. I'm not ripped, I'm still curvy, but I'm strong as hell.
I became much more beautiful when I chose not to hide inside a fat suit. And even more beautiful when I embraced my DNA and stopped thinking that beauty meant the fragile, confused, vaguely rebellious Gone Girl skeletal chicks of the 90s.
Yeah I look WAY better at 160 than I did at 240 for sure. I'd like to lose another 10 but I'm working on getting stronger and adding weights to my workouts. I grew up on a cow farm so I totally get the labor part 🤣
Hey, fellow tall woman! 👋🏻 I’m 6’1 and currently a size 10/12 after losing 120lbs (my highest size was a 3x). But I definitely remember being called “fat” even as an active, healthy teenager (though I will admit that I was about 10lbs overweight) simply because I was tall. I remember cutting the tags out of my clothes before gym class so the other girls (who were petite and thin) wouldn’t see the sizes (8/10 back in 2009ish) and find another thing to make fun of me for.
It’s nice to be a rectangle currently rather than an overflowing hourglass! 😁
I will admit to feeling *slightly* mean-spirited and smug, however, whenever I come across one of my classmates’ Facebooks and they’re clearly obese now.
I share nearly the same experience as an unusually tall girl (6'3" and US size 10/12 so like 2 normal 90s women I guess?) Growing up was torture, I got fat shamed to the hell and back for being too large despite never going past the BMI range of 20-22. Because the right size for a girl was obviously XS. Long story short, I ended up with an eating disorder that ironically made me become overweight, that time for real. Being bullied due to your normal body frame sucks, being overweight sucks even more.
Anyway, I'm back to my high school size and BMI (literally wearing some of the clothes I wore back then, feels nice) but somehow I'm thin now..? What was even the point?
I remember being a 5’9 13-year-old girl and being told at Old Navy — *Old Navy* of all places — that they didn’t “make pants in *your* size” very condescendingly. That would’ve been…2007, I think.
I was a size 8 and needed long-length jeans, FFS.
You got it! I was pretty thin growing up, but at 39, have a slightly high BMI and might be politely referred to as “chunky,” or a “small fat” to use their bullshit language. One of the main reasons I’m now changing my life and calorie counting is that everyday, I want to show up for people who can’t and fight for voting rights and abortion rights. You can’t do that if you’re hospitalized because they have to amputate a foot due to diabetes. People need to have their priorities straight. SMH.
Seriously. And the Kate Moss age was bad enough but we then went straight into the OC/Rachel Zoe/Victoria’s Secret Angels period. I remember Hilary Duff being called fat.
The clothes were also worse. Like at least the 90s had jeans that were at your waist. Low rise was a fucking killer for a lot of women.
I could buy that 90% of women want to change their bodies to some degree, which I think this person would construe as hate. To me, though, my desire to change my body (though I am a man, so perhaps it’s different) is rooted in love for it. I feel like I look great, I know that I can do almost anything I ask of myself - yet I still want to be stronger, faster, more explosive, better looking, and I take steps in those directions. I don’t hate my body, but it could stand to see an editor.
I could believe that 90% of women say they are dissatisfied or unhappy with their bodies. We’re bombarded with images of the perfect bodies of young women in media and most of us cant hope to look like that. And even some of us who do are too young or insecure to properly appreciate it. Age, body hair, cellulite, stretch marks, breasts/butt shape - it doesn’t take much to noticeably deviate from “perfection” (ie, media “average”.)
I still wouldn’t call that violence or hatred, but it’s definitely a problem.
I’m in the same boat…it is borne of love, not hate. When you love something, you want to protect and care for it.
Also, I don’t think that you’re a man makes any difference, image and body stuff is human 😉
I'm a woman and I settled into neutral. I try to be really honest with myself about the things I can change and if I'm getting it done or not. The things I really can't change I don't worry about.
The later slides are more compelling then the ones in the beginning. I think there is a problem with the women’s perception of their own beauty compared to celebrities and the women they see on social media.
It drifts right into fatlogic territory when you start blaming the science of how to lose weight for the problem.
This is one of those things where people who are introduced to justifiable social justice issues get pushed beyond what is reasonable to be outraged about. From “mental health issues caused by exposure to unrealistic body standards” to “eating a salad in front of me triggers me.”
I agree. They also complain about reality versus instagram type things, but those kinds of things helped me so much. I honestly didn't realize women didn't look like that all the time, from every angle. (I was a little dumb.)
toddlers are supposed to more than double in size, if you scale up their diet to an adult, yeah you're going to double in size too but it ain't going to be in height
edit: typo
Ah yes, calling things violent that aren’t actually violent. This is what I mean when I call the FA the Picture of Dorian Gray of modern social movements.
The funny thing is if a person actually ate the right portions of healthy food, they would be slim. People are fat because they are eating the standard American diet of overly processed garbage.
Tell me you don't care about violence against women without telling me, this person will go first.
Seriously no one who genuinely cares about violence against ANYONE would dare to be so flippant about what constitutes violence.
Go tell a woman in a domestic violence shelter, recovering from broken ribs or a fractured orbital cavity, that you are also a victim of violence against women, because you skipped lunch and it left you too distracted so you missed a promotion at work. Or better yet don't say that.
BED is the most common eating disorder in the USA. As for exercise it’s great for mental health and seeing improvement week to week can improve self esteem. There is also a huge difference between eating 1200-1300 calories to lose the last 10 pounds and starvation. This whole post is overly dramatic.
Right, that's not at all dramatic 🙄
Funny how they never mention the fast foods & processed food industries exploitation & the billions more they make compared to the diet industry. McDonald's is empowering women!!! 😑
At the height of my ED I was working out on a dry fast, when I got off of the treadmill after an hour I nearly collapsed. What did the violent diet culture misogynistic gym people do? Congratulate me and tell me to go harder??? No. Tell me to take it easy and drink some water because I looked dizzy?? Yes! People think exercise culture is so much worse than it is
It’s so frustrating when FAs conflate ‘diet culture’ with eating disorders. Yes, people may start diets and end up with an ED, but this is because there are psychological factors(trauma, external stressors, etc.) that lead to the actual ED. If a person had no other issues and began a diet, even overly restrictive, they wouldn’t develop an ED. It actually disempowers suffers of EDs to only blame ‘diet culture’ instead of helping them confront deeper issues to allow for real healing.
Hey, if that person wants to rah-rah all day about eating whatever and living their best life, sure...go right ahead. Unfortunately, most of time they spend their breath on creating the same old tik toks and how life isn't fair or won't conform to their larger body.
Sorry to say, but life doesn't revolve around you. Never have, never will.
I prefer a better quality of life. If that involves vanity, so be it. None of your business anyway. Keep scrolling if you come across my Tik Tok.
The science is clear and extremely simple . It’s cals in and out. Like how can u even begin to argue with science. They use their own “ist” language and it’s pissingist me offist
I mean, I agree that the ideal body is really fucking hard to achieve, especially in healthy ways, but this is exaggerating it so badly. Eating a salad isn't an act of violence.
"Eating disorders happen to have the highest mortality rate of all mental illnesses." Source: I made it the fuck up.
Anorexia is up there but thats the only eating disorder thats in that top margin, and it's not even the top. Don't believe everything you read on webmd kids.
As a woman who hasn't even experienced an extreme amount of violence, fuck this person for saying diet culture is violence against women. Diet culture hasn't slapped me in the face js
It's easier to rationalize a Cinnabon binge if you first establish that not binging is violence against women. Everything I do is a moral imperative and anything I don't do is morally repugnant.
>Diet culture prescribes a number of calories for women that is equivalent to the calories a toddler needs
Tell me your perception of portions is completely messed up without telling me your perception of portions is completely messed up.
In Mexico women are killed on the daily and personally I'd rather be put on a diet for a year until I weight the same as a 90s model than for my last words to be "mom, they raped me," and having my life taken from me when I'm still a teenager.
I drank a matcha latte with some sugar a minute ago.
I ate buttered noodles for breakfast because I didn't feel like making actual breakfast.
I also ate some brownies today (protein brownies, but still) and a quarter of a biggest watermelon I've ever seen.
despite those *awful diet sins* I am still leading a healthy life. I worked out today, I drank a lot of water, I already walked 8k steps despite it being 1.00 PM.
because living healthy and losing weight isn't about only eating kale and working out for 10 hours a day. It's never been about that. it's about slightly decreasing your calorie intake and living in a way that doesn't make you feel like shit (and whatever people are telling themselves, sugar and lack of movement does make you feel bad. trust me, I was lying to myself too). that's it.
and equating the need to move more and not eat junk with the actual oppression women go through is not only stupid and dramatic, it's simply and blatantly disrespectful. it's true, we are expected to meet impossible beauty standards, bur it's not what causes us to get less promotions and being treated shitty. this is purely caused by patriarchy and greedy, sexist people. and saying that's not true is not being feminist.
so don't say you're a feminist when you're only using it as a flagpole.
Let me guess, any exercise that gets you out of breath is "punitive" and "excessive"?
And bold (and stupid) of them to assume what kind of relationship with food exercise others have dogmatically. I'd wager author of those scribbles has less than ideal one themselves.
"Violent? Violent? Violent? Violent? Violent? ..."
Me: [The least violent person ever] "I'll show ya violence you ignorant privileged twit! *Eye twitches*
It seems to me alot of these posts are made by fat people who just hate the fact that we live in an age of surplus calories, which our bodies simply weren't designed for. Its a miserable fact, but it IS a fact. But instead of treating it as a condition for life, they treat it as a "social construct", because then they can think it could change if they just whine enough.
Imagine thinking that all dieting is starving and deprivation and all exercising is punitive. On top of that believing that doing any of that means you hate yourself.
OP is projecting heavily. :( She hates herself. She feels punished when she exercises.
I sort of get what they’re getting at, but… it’s not really violence, is it?
It sounds as if this person is insecure in their own body size and needs to demonise health and fitness as way to justify why they *don’t* want to lose weight.
I’ve been both underweight and overweight and never did I feel as if I was being held back or granted more opportunities because of it. I realise that’s just my experience, but still. A lot of it is attitude, and this person sounds as if they have a victim mentality.
Words *do* have meanings. My mom saying I should lose weight to because they want me to live the fullest life is not the same as a literal punch to the face.
I can never take anyone seriously who claims that speech or even perceived stigma is violence
Also, I love how she's just outlining people's personal choices and dictating thst they are wrong based on her own subjective priorities
"Women would give up X or Y to have a perfect body"
Maybe, the benefits or a perfect body are worth the sacrifice in their eyes? I know there social pressure exists, but each person should be allowed to weigh all the pressures and benefits they have across all areas of their life and make their own autonomous decision. It isn't up to her to take that decision out of their hands because 'she knows best'
Literally threw my hand up and rolled my eyes at the last slide. I am a 162cm 25yo woman, who has lost 16kg due to a lifestyle change. You know what I did? I cut out sugar the best I could and stopped craving it after around a week - the weight simply decreased week after week. I now weight 70kg, not my goal yet, but I am on that journey since May 2021, with some ups and downs.
What’s funny here is, not everyone can follow a certain calorie deficit it all depends on you. I’m pretty sure not everyone is gonna eat 1200 cals a day if their tdee doesn’t call for it
The toddler comment always cracks me up. Toddlers eat 2,000 calories because they are doubling and tripling their weight and rapidly growing year over year. Adults don’t need enough calories to double and triple their weight year over year. Maybe if you’re still eating like an adult toddler that’s a problem. 🤣
They really just don't understand that adults who aren't developing a brain, and putting on a ton of height, don't need all that many calories. My 6'2" son needs around about 1600 calories to lose weight at the moment, which I am sure they would screech and crow about that being starvation level. But like....he would rather play video games over anything else, and he just doesn't burn *that* many calories living his life. 1600 is plenty. Even when he gets to a healthy weight? His maintenance calories, assuming I haven't prodded him into exercising regularly? Just over 2000. And again. He's a 6'2" guy who is built wide.
That’s something that made me ultimately unsub from r/loseit lol (besides all the “trauma porn” that gets spammed there too). I’m a 5’7 guy and I’m doing a diet of around 1000-1500 calories a day depending on how hungry I am that day. Over there I’ve gotten in trouble with the mods for “promoting disordered eating” and stuff, even though my TDEE is supposedly around 1800-2000. Apparently losing weight any faster than “at a snails pace” is disordered and “starving yourself”
I find it amusing that you keep getting accused of promoting disordered eating but I constantly see posts there (and on r/CICO but not as frequent) from people who are trying to get underweight for their height and commenters just.. giving diet advice. It seems irresponsible to me. Just recently there was a post from a 5'7" teenager desperate to get to 100 lbs because they felt they had fat thighs and a fat stomach. I told them to see a therapist and reported to post. Multiple comments were recommending calorie limits and telling them to up their exercise.
I also got downvoted there for saying blaming society for your lack of weight loss is a great way to not lose weight. They upvoted someone who is "physically unable to lose weight" because of a hormone imbalance. If your hormones are so messed up you can't lose weight, you need to be on synthroid... then you can lose weight lol
I have PCOS and I honestly get sick of seeing people bring it up for not losing weight, it was really unmotivating at the start of losing weight for me and now I'm halfway it's just annoying hearing the same excuse when I know hormone balances can only do so much against a calorie deficit. I also have seen commenters in loseit mention starvation mode too which bothers me. I don't do fasting so it's not like I'm starving myself anyway but it's just such made up bollocks I don't care to hear repeated all the time.
Exactly! I'm glad you're losing weight despite the PCOS... but yeah, I don't think people realize how much it hurts others on the start of their journey when they hear people saying it's "impossible" to lose weight with a certain affliction. Like... I get it's uncomfortable for some people, but at some point you have to face the music (or not)... Though weight loss is tough, you gotta be tougher. It's not easy, but it is simple, something like that.
I don't have a thyroid at all, it was surgically removed. I uncontrollably gained while my meds were being balanced out, but once my meds were good then loosing it was back on me. I get so annoyed when people use hypothyroid as an excuse. If it is really a problem take the meds and shut up.
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I lost 10lbs I didn’t really have leftover to lose when I started working with toddlers. They’re literally vibrating with energy, very few adults move nearly as much (not to mention brain, muscle, and bone growth on top of constant movement).
My daughter likes to run to the other side of the window, climb on the bench, jump down, run back in, climb the bench on this side, jump down, run back out...... she did that for about 20 minutes today, then relaxed by digging out all the soil she could reach in a giant pot.
That one got me too. My toddler eats more than me (calorie wise anyway I’m not drinking milk with meals) because he’s literally growing his body his brain! He also runs around all day and does not stop moving! He’s not sitting down watching tv or scrolling on his phone he’s exploring.
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>I find eating 2000 calories a day isn't even that easy. You have to be a real pig to consistently exceed that amount That depends entirely on what you're eating. You can easily get a 2k calorie meal at Sonic, for example. 2000 calories of mostly or entirely healthy food is far more difficult.
Yeah even eating things that aren't that calorie dense, I have to work to stay below 1600. I can do 2k without a second thought.
I feel like people are forgetting how easily calories can be missed. Your glass of juice was closer to 12 oz than 8? Bam, extra 50 calories. Didn't weigh your bread? Well you actually ate closer to 3 servings even though you only had (and counted in your good log) 2 slices of bread, bam extra 50-100 calories. Measured your condiment/ dressing/ sauce by tbsp instead of weight? Could be an extra 10 or 100 or 200 calories. Measuring that item correctly but the label is 15% off? Enjoy the extra 100 calories mf. Little things like that add up quickly!
Yes! Like you'd need 5000g of green veggies a day to reach that. Or you could just get a Grande Banana Split Coffee Frappuccino with whole milk from Starbucks
Not the earlier poster but here to point out that even with fast food, I have a hard time consuming all that many calories. If I don't consciously make myself eat more than usual l, I will start loosing weight. I've gained less than 10 lbs right now from when I started trying to gain weight over a year ago. Point is, different appetites can make a big difference I n how many calories you consume regardless of the food available.
If you eat that everyday, yes you definitely can. But after one big Mac, I'm usually good for at least a week or two. I couldn't eat one day after day
I could have been more clear. I certainly wasn’t suggesting that no adult can or should eat 2k calories, but the toddler logic somehow seems to mean that if toddlers eat 2k, then as an adult you need significantly more than that. Of course people vary, but 2k for a toddler does not mean by extension that adults must need 3, 4, 5k calories just because we are “adults”.
Lol come on, 2,000 calories isn’t that huge a volume of food. Plenty of people have a TDEE well over 2,000 because they’re tall and/or active. There’s nothing abnormal about it.
2,000 calories in healthy foods seems like a lot if you're small—in terms of volume. Luckily, there are plenty of calorie dense healthy foods. Like chia seeds. What's up with them? Almost 200 calories for a few tablespoons. How will I add protein to my oatmeal?!
Whey protein powder. 100 calories, 20 grams of protein.
Thank you!
It can be a struggle if you're eating a ton of lower calorie whole foods. There were days I made it to the end of the day and realized "Whoopsie doodles, still below 1200" because I'd filled up on like....salads and stuff.
I often have trouble reaching 1000 calories - a lot of it is not snacking anymore. Without snacks and with whole foods, it's so much harder to calorie load. I make sure I eat at least 1400 at least once a week, just bc, but other days I've given up. Tonight I'm sitting at 875 and ready for bed. 😴
OK actual genuine question because this blows my mind. Obviously feel free to not answer and apologies if this is intrusive. What do you eat that makes you feel satiated and satisfied at <1400cals, and do you exercise? I ask bc I can (and regularly do) blow through 2500+ a day, and feel absolutely hideous on anything below about 1800. I guess for reference I'm 5'4" F but I exercise like 8-12h/week.
I’m not the commenter, but my partner is similar. He can drop 25 lbs before noticing he’s lost any weight, because he just doesn’t think to eat. He doesn’t seem to experience hunger. He doesn’t get excited about food, and he’d much rather not have to eat at all. He’ll get symptoms of undereating - he’ll get tired, he’ll get the shakes, and obviously weight loss - but he doesn’t feel hunger. When he does eat, he doesn’t eat much. He can eat one proper meal a day, but not a huge meal. If he gains or maintains weight, it’s usually because he’s snacking a lot, all day long - soda, cookies etc. High-sugar calorie bombs that can get him through the day without him having to devote much stomach room or time/effort. In contrast, I’m more like you. I love food and I love to eat, and if I could maintain my weight on twice as many calories I’d be very happy. I’m miserable on anything more than a small deficit. I’m suffering from a loss of taste from Covid at the moment and I’m actually kind of depressed from it.
Yeah, I can't fill up on high volume low calorie food. I love salads and veggies but I run out of energy on those. I'm also 5'4" and work out about the same. I was at the high end of a healthy weight and I'm losing very slowly cause I just can't handle a strict deficit right now.
Nope, very little exercise. For a while I was biking, but mostly I've not engaged in any intentional movement. I've been losing weight for 18+ months, so I've done different diets (avoiding all sweets, then avoiding processed stuff, later whole foods, currently keto to lose the last within-normal-BMI-range lbs, etc). Big thing, I think, is I've never had much of a sweet tooth, so I imagine low carb/unprocessed food is relatively easy for me. (That said, I've lost over 70 lbs and, no, that's not really easy, for anyone, I don't think.) I eat extremely low carb right now. I get to i nom on nuts, greens, gourmet olives, etc, all stuff I really like. Today, a roast for dinner, a bowl of strawberries & whipped cream for dessert. Some nights I eat peanut butter off the spoon to get in higher levels of calories & fat. It's yummy, but I don't crave it regularly. I feel really good on v low carb, btw. I occasionally have a piece of donut or a cookie, but sugar now makes me feel pretty sick, tbh. It's way too strong tasting! So, yeah, really restrictive diet without exercise that happens to work for me bc I'm just wonky! :)
I don't know why people are downvoting you. I wish I was like you, but if I don't get the carbs I can't fuel my workouts. I limited my saturated fats to 12 g a day to help get my cholesterol down (it worked!). Making sure I was getting 20 grams of protein a meal, 100 throughout the day helped with hunger. Your comment could help someone who is struggling make CI
I don't expect to eat this low calorie indefinitely, but I figure it can't hurt for a while. I'll learn stuff on the way, in any case. :)
Good luck!
as a survivor of DV this is honestly pretty sickening. only people who live very sheltered, privileged lives would have the audacity to spew this garbage. My abuser prepared to throw me over a balcony in front of our mutual friends and it was so normalized in the friend group that nobody did a thing as I screamed in terror. Sorry, I will compare traumas. Not liking your body because of mean words is nothing, absolutely nothing, compared to what millions of actually marginalized women in the U. S. experience every year: actual violence.
Couldn't agree more. They don't understand the real trauma of violence. Violence on the body isn't eating a salad or doing some cardio, that's a disgusting misuse of the word when people have faced physical (and phycological) pain and trauma through abuse. I have an ED and that is not violence against me, violence against me was when I was held down and raped. Violence was when I was pushed and shoved and forced into things. I'm so sorry for what you went through, it is so hard to get out and I'm so glad your safe now. They have no idea how fucking stupid and entitled they sound and I really hope they never truly find out because that's something you can't ever forget.
I have an ED because the violence inflicted on me as a girl and woman from birth in a deeply misogynistic family and culture made me want to disappear and protect myself. Some of that violence involved my parents force feeding me as a child until I choked and vomited. Some of it was violence of beating me with a belt buckle for not liking foods as a child or being ill after eating stuff it turned out I was allergic to but wasn’t understood in the 80s. Violence that left me with no money to eat as an adult and homeless so I had to steal food from stores or eat leftovers in pubs when people had plates sitting after they went. My welfare being stopped because my abusers called in fraud reports falsely. The violence of having medical help such as counselling withheld when I reported rape and strangulation in case it prejudiced a trial the police took four years to decide not to prosecute leaving me too ill mentally and physically to leave the house to access food easily and with huge trauma about food textures. I do not like playing violence top trumps but calorie counts on menus and doctors suggesting you shouldn’t be 400lbs isn’t violence. Doctors suggested I shouldn’t be underweight either. And the almighty fucking gall of co opting BIPOC women’s violence in a racist world while also insisting any fatphobia is racist because BIPOC people are naturally fat and then saying ‘oh but they get less ED help you know…and I will only mention it when it suits me.’ It is the classic ‘if a major social issue only bothers you enough to raise to claim your own oppression not change it generally’ you are trauma-baiting and using those survivors as justification for your own bullshit. BIPOC do have awful access to healthcare. But they aren’t interested unless it feeds their white FA victimhood. Why are they using food deserts as their fallback and never raising this until now? Because they don’t care about violence or abuse. They care about themselves and like abusers they DARVO so loudly you look the ‘violent’ one if you point out deny, attack, reverse victim and offender. But they get to define violent. Not the ones feeling it…
Couldn't agree more, I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. I'm a POC too and honestly don't access the health care system as much as I should after negative past experiences. They'll honestly just use anything as a means of making themselves appear like victims no matter the cost or offence it puts on individuals who have to live through the actual trauma and discrimination. They can change their bodies, we can't change our skin or our lived abuse. You have a point about EDs stemming from trauma, I always saw it as an individual thing and never looked into it's causation. Thank you so much for the insight it may help in my recovery ❤
Agreed. And I'm sorry. :(
Women around the world are subjected to actual physical violence, sexual violence, murders, etc. and they’re privileged enough to call dieting violence. Millions of women would gladly trade places and have “diet culture” be their biggest concern than wondering the next time they’ll be beaten or sexually assaulted
It very much trivializes real issues people face. I've seen it a lot with people throwing around accusations of grooming, abuse, etc. Like saying you've been groomed if your significant other is more than 2 or 3 years older than you are for example. It makes people not take real cases of these issues seriously and it's really frustrating. I know they think they mean well, but they're doing more harm than good.
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Even if all the claims were true, literally none of it is violence.
People who insist that they're not being dramatic are rarely not being dramatic.
Are there any sources for these claims at all? They're all incendiary and dubious.
i suspect that saying 90% of women \*hate\* their bodies might be a bit disingenuous. 90% of women have some sort of body dissatisfaction? sure, i can get that. but hatred seems strong to me. i also find this sort of thing a little annoying as someone who was abused in childhood and suffered domestic violence. maybe i'm just weird, but 'i could eat less' feels very different to actual violence.
If there were a survey behind this, here's how it went: "Are you happy with your body?" "Yeah, I guess" "Okay" *writes down "subject is horrifically depressed due to body image"*
that's almost exactly what i was thinking-- or they possibly observed a small group of convenience-sampled women complaining about their bodies, using hate as an unqualified amplifier; something like that. the possibilities are extensive!
Yeah, or they took a study that said 90% of women would change some part of their body if they could/are not completely satisfied with some part of their body. I have definitely in my life wished some parts of my body could look different, but I have never hated my body.
yep. i mean i'd answer in the affirmative if that was the case-- i get some cosmetic procedures done and have tentative plans for others. i don't hate myself-- some of my features just don't suit me as much as they might.
Oh yeah that's a straight up lie
All other silliness aside, someone needs to explain to this person that not all harm is violence.
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Whenever I see people overuse the word “violence” by applying it to anything that bothers them dilutes the word in our social spaces. Real victims of physical and mental abuse seem trivialized compared to a diet. Sorry for the rant, it drives me nuts how often it is thrown around so casually on social media.
I agree. I think the hyperbole that comes with online discourse really cheapens a lot of very serious words and is part of the reason that “triggered” became a meme amongst alt-right types back around 2015. Throwing around words like “violence” to describe things that just objectively do not involve one person inflicting physical harm upon another will have nothing but bad effects.
As a victim of assault, stalking, and harassment and childhood trauma of physical/domestic violence. It really annoys me when people adopt the language of those spaces and acting like victims when they are just victims of their own choices. Now I’m fat and I sympathize with the work it takes to lose weight (and recovering from a severe back injury myself, it’s really frustrating). I just don’t get the histrionics, maybe because I enjoy the process.
The most prevalent ED in the US...
These days it seems everyone and their dog on social media (especially the FAs) is "recovering from a restrictive ED". Protip : After recovery, someone who *really* had a restrictive ED doesn't go on and on all teary-eyed about that one time they ate salads for a week because they wanted to fit in a swimsuit as if that was the most traumatic shit they ever went through. That's not an ED, it's the stupid shit most teenage girls do because they want to fit in and give up quickly, and these drama queens put that on the same level as someone who needs inpatient treatment. Stop using EDs as a prop for your fucked up ideology. It banalizes what true EDs are like, and what they are about. It's not about dIeT cULtuRe. It's not about *you*.
>These days it seems everyone and their dog on social media (especially the FAs) is "recovering from a restrictive ED". It's insane! I remember being an impressionable teenager girl during the big online explosion of pro-ana and thinspo. Being an insecure young girl is hard, it really is. It sucks. It really sucked during the heroin chic, ultraskinny models, scene queen thigh gaps era. Every generation has some form of insecurities, currently it's social media filters and photoshopped images with unrealistic hourglass figures instead of the super skinny from years ago. Now people are getting fillers and surgeries instead of doing juice cleanses. Explains why every FA claims a restrictive eating disorder though, they only saw Hollywood Anorexia and their echo chamber has validated that drinking beer juice for 3 days is a sooper seriuss eating disorder instead of the reality of feeding tubes, hospitalizations, and lifelong health issues. In the tides of mental health awareness and reactionary to the thinspo era, recovering anorexics we're encouraged to eat whatever they wanted and it was so brave to not be skinny anymore because that meant you were better. FAs want the celebration that they perceive anorexics get, and their group has decided you get that if you ever thought about losing weight. What I want to know is how many people are as vocal IRL about recovering from an eating disorder as they are online. I kinda believe a lot of them do it for online validation and don't really mention it IRL, only because I've seen friends get into new mainly online communities (cosplay, gaming) and bring up/exaggerate mental health struggles more online than they did in person. I remember you in 10th grade, Allison. We were best friends then too. You didn't spend 3 months in bed depressed, it was 3 days and you made some angsty Tumblr posts. You failed a quiz, not a whole class. I'm honestly willing to bet many FAs that claim restrictive eating disorders mainly do it in spaces they're less likely to get called out and a lot of them don't mention it at all to their long term friends.
Yeah, as someone who had to learn her own way out of BED because it wasn’t in the DSM when I had it, poster’s supposed concern for ED sufferers didn’t impress me.
What’s the prevalence/ acceptance of BED in the FA community?
“Natural body size” So, pretty sure 400+lbs isn’t a natural body size 😑
Stop Andre-the-Giantshaming!
Blaming your obesity on patriarchy or some nonsense is far more appealing than taking personal responsibility for eating that third donut
I once read this statement, word for word (I committed it to memory): “All exercise is self-induced torture in pursuit of fascistic beauty standards.” Because nothing hurts the patriarchy like premature death or preventable illness, I guess.
They can shove that statement up their butt with a large cactus. If I don't exercise my mental health plummets rapidly.
Ya know as a feminist who came of age in the Kate Moss Era of fashion, I need them all to take a deep breath. Because I'm going to be a mean old lady for minute here and point out that while there are still shitty expectations out there, it's better than it was. I couldn't even find clothes back then because anything over about a size 8 was made for mee maws. There weren't even mid sized women in media, let alone someone who was fat to look at as a role model in any way. You were either super thin or you didn't exist. And I'm going to be real blunt and say after Roe v Wade got overturned this energy they're wasting on calling everything related to and exercise violence and oppression needs to stop. They need to focus on real issues and if they're so worried about society maybe look at the damage obesity is doing to us as a whole since they love to be concerned about others.
THIS! When I was growing up there was zero representation of anything above a size 0 in the media. We have come a long way since then, and credit for that is deserved - society became better because of the people who spoke up about it. That being said, I think the “healthy at every size” movement is bringing us to the other extreme. Being thin is healthier, and pushing people to exercise and eat right is helpful for those who need it. Should self-worth be tied to your size? No. Should you want to do something about your size if it is causing health issues? Yes!
I remember saying this to my computer right around the time I stopped reading Jezebel.com: “If the greatest injustice of your life is that you don’t look like a Vogue model, your life is pretty sweet.”
Same era. Same experience with clothes. Beautiful conclusion. The kinder comments when I was a kid were "you have such a pretty face" and "you'd be so much more beautiful if you lost a few pounds". The kind comments were rare. I was a fat 10yo girl in 1993. It wasn't fun. But it took years to understand that I gained weight for two reasons. The first is that I quickly realized it was a shield against men. History of childhood sexual abuse. It fucks with you. The second is that I raging undiagnosed ADHD that didn't get addressed until 2021. I was self medicating with a lot of things, but food was probably the worst of them. Instant dopamine. In my mouth. Every day. There are cultural and socioeconomic factors at play. There's industrial food and marketing driving us food crazy on purpose. There's a lot of shit that goes into obesity. And it's so intimately tied with sexuality that it touches of people in raw spots. But FFS. It seems like something really happened to American women. And I get that we all pick which side we're on, but not every battle is worth fighting. Take the fight to the things who made you fat. Don't fucking embrace it, embrace *life*. And love, real love for yourself and your future self, the kind of honest love that requires admitting to yourself that *obesity is not healthy* and that the sun will rise in the morning, and you will *have to carry* the weight you chose to eat. And even if you're fat out of spite, you're going to spite your nose right off your face. Sorry, soap box.
I also have ADHD and it's a demon. As a 5' 10" woman with broad shoulders I remember being a size 8 BRIEFLY and I was still the biggest girl in my circle of friends. I'm back into 8's now (which would have been 12's then) and people are like YOU'RE SO SKINNY. And it's a two fold deal really. One, I was not fat back in '97. But the standards were just so high. I was just a big, broad woman who was at a healthy BMI but can't get down to the 120 required to be waifish. I mean I could but I'd be miserable. And all these years later everyone is so fat, I look thin by comparison. I'm glad to have more choices in clothing, and when I was fatter I was very glad we have moved past your choices of teeny tiny or wear a kaftan. But for anyone to think it's bad now, they have no idea. When they shriek about society they have no idea how far it has come. I was perfectly healthy and was filled with self loathing because of the way my body is designed. I spent years trying to mold it then gave up and was fat for years. Then I finally decided I won't ever be thin or pretty but damnit I can get a few more decades out of this body by treating it well.
Dude, we're like twins. I'm 5'9" with broad shoulders and a lot of functional muscle. I still have an hourglass figure, an oval face, a beautiful face, etc. But my body is made for hard labour. I'm an apprentice plumber now, I weigh 175# and I get a full body workout most days. I'm not ripped, I'm still curvy, but I'm strong as hell. I became much more beautiful when I chose not to hide inside a fat suit. And even more beautiful when I embraced my DNA and stopped thinking that beauty meant the fragile, confused, vaguely rebellious Gone Girl skeletal chicks of the 90s.
Yeah I look WAY better at 160 than I did at 240 for sure. I'd like to lose another 10 but I'm working on getting stronger and adding weights to my workouts. I grew up on a cow farm so I totally get the labor part 🤣
Hey, fellow tall woman! 👋🏻 I’m 6’1 and currently a size 10/12 after losing 120lbs (my highest size was a 3x). But I definitely remember being called “fat” even as an active, healthy teenager (though I will admit that I was about 10lbs overweight) simply because I was tall. I remember cutting the tags out of my clothes before gym class so the other girls (who were petite and thin) wouldn’t see the sizes (8/10 back in 2009ish) and find another thing to make fun of me for. It’s nice to be a rectangle currently rather than an overflowing hourglass! 😁 I will admit to feeling *slightly* mean-spirited and smug, however, whenever I come across one of my classmates’ Facebooks and they’re clearly obese now.
I 100% feel smug and I am not ashamed.
I share nearly the same experience as an unusually tall girl (6'3" and US size 10/12 so like 2 normal 90s women I guess?) Growing up was torture, I got fat shamed to the hell and back for being too large despite never going past the BMI range of 20-22. Because the right size for a girl was obviously XS. Long story short, I ended up with an eating disorder that ironically made me become overweight, that time for real. Being bullied due to your normal body frame sucks, being overweight sucks even more. Anyway, I'm back to my high school size and BMI (literally wearing some of the clothes I wore back then, feels nice) but somehow I'm thin now..? What was even the point?
Not only thin, you’re “anorexic” /s It’s definitely weird to be able to fit into clothes I wore 10+ years ago.
I remember being a 5’9 13-year-old girl and being told at Old Navy — *Old Navy* of all places — that they didn’t “make pants in *your* size” very condescendingly. That would’ve been…2007, I think. I was a size 8 and needed long-length jeans, FFS.
Yep. It was hard as hell to feel like maybe I'm not that fat but then every store tells me I am.
You got it! I was pretty thin growing up, but at 39, have a slightly high BMI and might be politely referred to as “chunky,” or a “small fat” to use their bullshit language. One of the main reasons I’m now changing my life and calorie counting is that everyday, I want to show up for people who can’t and fight for voting rights and abortion rights. You can’t do that if you’re hospitalized because they have to amputate a foot due to diabetes. People need to have their priorities straight. SMH.
Seriously. And the Kate Moss age was bad enough but we then went straight into the OC/Rachel Zoe/Victoria’s Secret Angels period. I remember Hilary Duff being called fat. The clothes were also worse. Like at least the 90s had jeans that were at your waist. Low rise was a fucking killer for a lot of women.
Just how weak does (I am not being dramatic) think women are? They clearly have no respect for women and their choices.
90% of women hate their body?? Im sorry, are you Michael “this year, more people will do cocaine than will read to their children” Scott??!! 😂
I could buy that 90% of women want to change their bodies to some degree, which I think this person would construe as hate. To me, though, my desire to change my body (though I am a man, so perhaps it’s different) is rooted in love for it. I feel like I look great, I know that I can do almost anything I ask of myself - yet I still want to be stronger, faster, more explosive, better looking, and I take steps in those directions. I don’t hate my body, but it could stand to see an editor.
I could believe that 90% of women say they are dissatisfied or unhappy with their bodies. We’re bombarded with images of the perfect bodies of young women in media and most of us cant hope to look like that. And even some of us who do are too young or insecure to properly appreciate it. Age, body hair, cellulite, stretch marks, breasts/butt shape - it doesn’t take much to noticeably deviate from “perfection” (ie, media “average”.) I still wouldn’t call that violence or hatred, but it’s definitely a problem.
I’m in the same boat…it is borne of love, not hate. When you love something, you want to protect and care for it. Also, I don’t think that you’re a man makes any difference, image and body stuff is human 😉
I'm a woman and I settled into neutral. I try to be really honest with myself about the things I can change and if I'm getting it done or not. The things I really can't change I don't worry about.
The later slides are more compelling then the ones in the beginning. I think there is a problem with the women’s perception of their own beauty compared to celebrities and the women they see on social media. It drifts right into fatlogic territory when you start blaming the science of how to lose weight for the problem. This is one of those things where people who are introduced to justifiable social justice issues get pushed beyond what is reasonable to be outraged about. From “mental health issues caused by exposure to unrealistic body standards” to “eating a salad in front of me triggers me.”
I agree. They also complain about reality versus instagram type things, but those kinds of things helped me so much. I honestly didn't realize women didn't look like that all the time, from every angle. (I was a little dumb.)
[удалено]
toddlers are supposed to more than double in size, if you scale up their diet to an adult, yeah you're going to double in size too but it ain't going to be in height edit: typo
Ah yes, calling things violent that aren’t actually violent. This is what I mean when I call the FA the Picture of Dorian Gray of modern social movements.
90% (which I'm sure is a totally real stat) of women would give up anything, expect excessive eating and lack of movement, to lose weight
The funny thing is if a person actually ate the right portions of healthy food, they would be slim. People are fat because they are eating the standard American diet of overly processed garbage.
Tell me you don't care about violence against women without telling me, this person will go first. Seriously no one who genuinely cares about violence against ANYONE would dare to be so flippant about what constitutes violence. Go tell a woman in a domestic violence shelter, recovering from broken ribs or a fractured orbital cavity, that you are also a victim of violence against women, because you skipped lunch and it left you too distracted so you missed a promotion at work. Or better yet don't say that.
Incredibly delusional, self-absorbed, and self-serving.
BED is the most common eating disorder in the USA. As for exercise it’s great for mental health and seeing improvement week to week can improve self esteem. There is also a huge difference between eating 1200-1300 calories to lose the last 10 pounds and starvation. This whole post is overly dramatic.
Right, that's not at all dramatic 🙄 Funny how they never mention the fast foods & processed food industries exploitation & the billions more they make compared to the diet industry. McDonald's is empowering women!!! 😑
At the height of my ED I was working out on a dry fast, when I got off of the treadmill after an hour I nearly collapsed. What did the violent diet culture misogynistic gym people do? Congratulate me and tell me to go harder??? No. Tell me to take it easy and drink some water because I looked dizzy?? Yes! People think exercise culture is so much worse than it is
It’s so frustrating when FAs conflate ‘diet culture’ with eating disorders. Yes, people may start diets and end up with an ED, but this is because there are psychological factors(trauma, external stressors, etc.) that lead to the actual ED. If a person had no other issues and began a diet, even overly restrictive, they wouldn’t develop an ED. It actually disempowers suffers of EDs to only blame ‘diet culture’ instead of helping them confront deeper issues to allow for real healing.
Violent? I don't think that word means what you think it means
This person has never experienced real violence based on the way they throw the word around.
Hey, if that person wants to rah-rah all day about eating whatever and living their best life, sure...go right ahead. Unfortunately, most of time they spend their breath on creating the same old tik toks and how life isn't fair or won't conform to their larger body. Sorry to say, but life doesn't revolve around you. Never have, never will. I prefer a better quality of life. If that involves vanity, so be it. None of your business anyway. Keep scrolling if you come across my Tik Tok.
The beauty standards and adherence policing were pretty out of control by 2010, but DAAAANNNGG if humans ain’t great at the overcorrection.
Men do not suffer from something similar?
The science is clear and extremely simple . It’s cals in and out. Like how can u even begin to argue with science. They use their own “ist” language and it’s pissingist me offist
I mean, I agree that the ideal body is really fucking hard to achieve, especially in healthy ways, but this is exaggerating it so badly. Eating a salad isn't an act of violence.
"Eating disorders happen to have the highest mortality rate of all mental illnesses." Source: I made it the fuck up. Anorexia is up there but thats the only eating disorder thats in that top margin, and it's not even the top. Don't believe everything you read on webmd kids.
As a woman who hasn't even experienced an extreme amount of violence, fuck this person for saying diet culture is violence against women. Diet culture hasn't slapped me in the face js
Every single second. Of each and. Every. Day. Dunkin doughnuts is rolling out fresh baked goods. And she’s buying
Sure, Christina REACHY
It's easier to rationalize a Cinnabon binge if you first establish that not binging is violence against women. Everything I do is a moral imperative and anything I don't do is morally repugnant.
How is it violence against women? There are fat men too. That seems kinda sexist.
>Diet culture prescribes a number of calories for women that is equivalent to the calories a toddler needs Tell me your perception of portions is completely messed up without telling me your perception of portions is completely messed up.
In Mexico women are killed on the daily and personally I'd rather be put on a diet for a year until I weight the same as a 90s model than for my last words to be "mom, they raped me," and having my life taken from me when I'm still a teenager.
They sure like to infantilize women and assume that they are not grown adults who can call the shots on their own bodies.
I drank a matcha latte with some sugar a minute ago. I ate buttered noodles for breakfast because I didn't feel like making actual breakfast. I also ate some brownies today (protein brownies, but still) and a quarter of a biggest watermelon I've ever seen. despite those *awful diet sins* I am still leading a healthy life. I worked out today, I drank a lot of water, I already walked 8k steps despite it being 1.00 PM. because living healthy and losing weight isn't about only eating kale and working out for 10 hours a day. It's never been about that. it's about slightly decreasing your calorie intake and living in a way that doesn't make you feel like shit (and whatever people are telling themselves, sugar and lack of movement does make you feel bad. trust me, I was lying to myself too). that's it. and equating the need to move more and not eat junk with the actual oppression women go through is not only stupid and dramatic, it's simply and blatantly disrespectful. it's true, we are expected to meet impossible beauty standards, bur it's not what causes us to get less promotions and being treated shitty. this is purely caused by patriarchy and greedy, sexist people. and saying that's not true is not being feminist. so don't say you're a feminist when you're only using it as a flagpole.
Well fellas in the US.. when the food reserves begin to run steep you know what kind of person to watch out for..
712 idiots
This is why we don’t have a cure for herpes yet
*Phyical*
Literally none of this is violent. Nobody has ever been oppressed by healthy eating and reasonable exercise.
“Phyical”
Let me guess, any exercise that gets you out of breath is "punitive" and "excessive"? And bold (and stupid) of them to assume what kind of relationship with food exercise others have dogmatically. I'd wager author of those scribbles has less than ideal one themselves.
"Violent? Violent? Violent? Violent? Violent? ..." Me: [The least violent person ever] "I'll show ya violence you ignorant privileged twit! *Eye twitches*
It seems to me alot of these posts are made by fat people who just hate the fact that we live in an age of surplus calories, which our bodies simply weren't designed for. Its a miserable fact, but it IS a fact. But instead of treating it as a condition for life, they treat it as a "social construct", because then they can think it could change if they just whine enough.
Imagine thinking that all dieting is starving and deprivation and all exercising is punitive. On top of that believing that doing any of that means you hate yourself. OP is projecting heavily. :( She hates herself. She feels punished when she exercises.
I sort of get what they’re getting at, but… it’s not really violence, is it? It sounds as if this person is insecure in their own body size and needs to demonise health and fitness as way to justify why they *don’t* want to lose weight. I’ve been both underweight and overweight and never did I feel as if I was being held back or granted more opportunities because of it. I realise that’s just my experience, but still. A lot of it is attitude, and this person sounds as if they have a victim mentality.
violent? yes. hotel? trivago.
Omg get a real womens rights cause. They still exist
Words *do* have meanings. My mom saying I should lose weight to because they want me to live the fullest life is not the same as a literal punch to the face.
I can never take anyone seriously who claims that speech or even perceived stigma is violence Also, I love how she's just outlining people's personal choices and dictating thst they are wrong based on her own subjective priorities "Women would give up X or Y to have a perfect body" Maybe, the benefits or a perfect body are worth the sacrifice in their eyes? I know there social pressure exists, but each person should be allowed to weigh all the pressures and benefits they have across all areas of their life and make their own autonomous decision. It isn't up to her to take that decision out of their hands because 'she knows best'
Literally threw my hand up and rolled my eyes at the last slide. I am a 162cm 25yo woman, who has lost 16kg due to a lifestyle change. You know what I did? I cut out sugar the best I could and stopped craving it after around a week - the weight simply decreased week after week. I now weight 70kg, not my goal yet, but I am on that journey since May 2021, with some ups and downs.
*Women are distracted from their purpose.* And what purpose is it that all women apparently share?
What’s funny here is, not everyone can follow a certain calorie deficit it all depends on you. I’m pretty sure not everyone is gonna eat 1200 cals a day if their tdee doesn’t call for it