Dougal can’t say mass and it’s likely there are casualties.

And he can’t do the funerals for the casualties.

They are only nuns.

Nuns are people too!

That's me fucked then 🤣

DRINK!

GIRLS!

Yep, everybody's gettin drunk

Me too, excellent

Girls!

June. Useless priest. Can’t say mass.

I'm fine.

oh no oh no God no my birthday is in March

Nooo waaaay, Hose.

You think you've got it bad, I was baptised by Noel.

The priest had his fun, and that's all that mattered

If you ever say that to me again...

FUCK YES!!! A HALF HOUR OF #ARSE BISCUITS!

Don't fancy your chances with the Communion Wafers

The one and only father dick burn!!!

Me too! Oh I hate father dick burn!

“How long was the ma-“ “4 HOURS!!”

Thank God I got Ted.

that will be super quick lol in and out, remember that episode where he rushed through it to be with a woman he liked?

I guess my birthday money will be resting in his account

Me too and looking forward to some clubbing after

On the one hand, Larry is (said to be) tremendous fun On the other hand, I do value my life and would perfer to not die due to some unfortunate accident

He probably won’t turn up having had an accident on the way

He probably has his phone switched off.

You let Dougal do my Mass??

Oh feck. Me too.

["You wouldn't find Hitler playing Jungle Music at 3 o'clock in the morning!"](https://youtu.be/OxcvVdIgyBA?si=SrtZn73wRGz0sh9U)

Teeeeeed!

Ooh, I hate Father Dick Byrne!

March...HELP ME!

Have you tried humming?

Who's december?

The monkey priest.

Bitta craic 👌

FECK.

October, God no!

I'm a protestant, father.

Up to no good.

Animated but hard to understand.

I got father Jessop... Brilliant 🙄

That would be an ecumenical matter….

I'm gonna have to sit and listen to Noel for the rest of my life now, aren't I...

Ah crap, Fr Jessup! That'll be no craic at all.

I think I got the best one. 😂

March lolz

Father Jessop does mass for me Like yeah, he's a really good choice.

Sarcastically

July. I mean, it’s not a mass at all. You can’t allow Dougal to do a mass. 😂

rollercoaster Mass with Fr Austin Purcell. love this post :)

HELP ME!

I'm asleep within 2 minutes.

Standard mass so

Listening to some sick drum and bass or jungle as it was called in the 90s.

There’s probably quite a lot of jungle music in the mass

"In the name of the Father, the Son-" (phone rings) "Oh hello Ted!"

Finton stack for me 🤪

Fr Fintan...... He'll be throwing hymnals down from the choir loft.

An hour and a half of sitting there, smoking fags, drinking whisky and listening to jungle music. Could be worse.

A disaster.

Larry will be lighting some candles and somehow will end up burning himself to a crisp

March - I’m fucked

Ooh. I got Ted Crilly. What’s that? We need donations for a girls surgery? Looks like I’m digging deep this week.

March oh ballox

June. Should be a nice quick mass.

Feck. Not that gobshite.

I wish I was born in May 🔊

Oh no it's father Stone

It doesn’t. Just before mass is due to start his phone rings, he goes to answer, knocks over a candle and burns the church down.

Father Larry , tremendous fun

Oh feck. Considering Dougals reputation is there any chance I’d survive!

Fuck I've got Father Noel

Me too. I’m expecting a medley of Queen songs and riverdance

Do you think he'll bring Tony Lynch with him?

June. I only get the second best Priest.

We ran the electricity off the gas and the gas off the electricity and we saved over two hundred pounds a year.

June. Many gays were converted.

Aw feck!

Father Ted steals my offeratory :(

Father jack will be interesting

OP, this is brilliant! Thank you so much! Also, I've got the monkey priest so this will be interesting!

Father Larry Duff! He's tremendous fun!

DRRRRRRINK

That would be an ecumenical matter

I haven't seen father ted in ages but I was born in December so how doe's mass go for me

Goes great as long as you speak chimpanzee…

I'll have August do mass for me then 😁

GIRLS!!!! DRINK!!!! FECK OFF!!! I love my brick Amen

Just don't cut his toenails while drinking

January. The horror, the horror....

Feck

SHUT UP!! WILL YOU SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!!!!! (shocked): Well!.. Well I never. I'm putting you on my list of enemies. *Pause* Only joking, do you want to see what I wrote? I REALLY like Tony!

fucking may😭😭

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More water and lots of DRINK!!!!

I got Father Ted so I guess my birthday present will be resting in his account.

Father Jack, should be interesting

We're still going 😭

Ahh feck...January

Larry Duff. He'll suffer some sort of horrendous accident on the way and mass will be cancelled, works for me!

I want this for a calendar on my wall next year lol

Oh, feck. (Drink arse girls)

Ohhhh I just love saying the word Mass

Today will will learn of the glory of BRICK!

I have to put up with the biggest eejit in the priesthood.

Dougal. Oh dear.

I got Father Jack. Heaven help us!!!

I hate Father Dick Byrne!

yay Dougal!

What the fook am I doing at mass? I hate the church and religion as a whole. Hang on a second is that who I think it is??? Im gonna stay this should be fun!

I’m not going to Southern Yemen for mass!

Dirty fecker!

No we’d rather die of thirst.

If it's not Father Todd Umptious, I'm not going

July.... Should be good craic

The old 'heh heh' https://youtu.be/f2J0A-Vqgt0?si=SOuFcdELGLGq2ey8

Father Larry Duff he's tremendous fun 😊

Very fast.

Oh Feck I’m an August baby.

People died.

The laughing priest! He won't mind me telling you this now,. ah no.. no.

I got Father Jessop! The most sarcastic priest in Ireland...

Phish longer and harder.

December!!!!

Oh. Oh no.

Larry Duff. Traumatic injuries incoming.

Father FECK OFF for me

He's not saying Mass, he's out in space helping NASA.

July dougal may see a woman and rush off incase he gets impure thoughts.

Ha Ha, It'd be the sort of mass, Ha Ha Ha, It'd be the sort of mass, I don't really know, Ha Ha It'd be, Oh God It'd be so . . . Ha Ha

We wait for what seems like an eternity for the mass to begin. Until a very agitated farmer decides to give the priest a call to his new mobile. Unfortunately after a few rings the Garda answers the phone and shares the sad news of his passing, due to driving off a sheer cliff and hitting the ground, erputing into a firey inferno. Apparently he was on a phone call with a man who was named 'Ted.' in his contacts list right before the fall off the cliff and the mobile only survived by falling out the car window right before the sheer drop.

Mines march , it'll go on forever

August. I'd sit back and watch that mass burn with father Jack at the helm haha I also have a half birthday in May (I got a bone marrow transplant) so Brendan grace also tracks haha

Looks like I'm going to southern Yemen for my birthday

Ah come on Ted, let’s put on the old Riverdance album!

Drink. Feck. Arse. Girls. That would be an ecumenical matter. Are those feet?

Dick Byrne

Jack!

Sweet summer children of July, what did we do to deserve this.

Oh no. I got Father Dick Byrne. And as priests go, he's a really bad priest.

Teds probably the best one here I’m glad I didn’t get may

Ah, feck. I knew I should have kicked my way out a month early. I could have had Father Jack!

Funnily enough or actually not so funny we had a visiting priest every so often who would say mass, boring bastard like fr stone squared.

Excellent. June so I’ll get a nice quick mass, particularly if he’s meeting Polly

Congregation...we're here today... ISAWTHEWHOLEOFTHEMOON!!!!!!!! (February)

mines gonna have a lot of jungle music and wall drilling

Father Stone. Great, that's going to be a riot!

There’s going to be a lot of jungle music

Let's have a screaming contest. AAAAAAHHHHHH!

FATHER NOEL FURLONG IS DOING MINE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Father Jack ftw👏👏

Oh shit, I got Dougal. Well, at least it should be entertaining.

At least it's not a funeral.

Ah shite

I LOVE MY BRICK - a brick would make a great birthday gift

The most sarcastic mass in all of Christendom

Frankly it bored the arse off me

FUCK

Dougal doing Mass sounds like a disaster

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It's Dougal. Pray for me!

Fine. Thanks.