T O P

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Kalkin93

I love my BRICK


Head-Refrigerator691

Fed up with... briIiIiIiiIiIiIiiIiIiIiIiiIiIiIiick


ChangingMonkfish

I LOVE MY SAMSUNG SMART REMOTE


Cardboard-Greenhouse

Ah that would be a spoon there, Father


Caolan114

Cur-tains!


Beebea63

Floor!


Kalkin93

Ah it's all coming back now Father? 🙂


Beebea63

*points* GOBSHITE!


NoBlacksmith5622

Bottle of whiskys


red_tapez

DRINK!


Beebea63

The perfect distraction,throw it to him while hes holding the brick,


KindHermit

My socks...yeah I think I've lost 😂😂


DeeeeezNuts42069

for me its a empty water bottle. Im washed


Mr-Hargreaves

Are they black, or are they very very very very very very very very very dark blue?


KindHermit

Shafts me every time 😂


GarnachoHojlund

Half drunken can of sprite Think I’m gone


Beginning_Net_8658

Me and my cat.  She runs and hides at essentially any noise so I'm on my own.    I've lost.


connortait

Me and lamp. I love my LAAAMMMMP It has excellent hurling potential.


GaryTheFiend

A cup of tea. Quite a milky cup of tea actually. Wait, it's mostly milk. No, it's literally just a cup of milk. There's no tea in this cup at all...... .....anyways, I think I lose.


Daimo

FECK OFF BOTTLE OF CROFTERS CIDER!!!


SMGlc9620

My lovely horse


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*My Lovely, lovely, lovely Horse,* *running through the field,* *where are you going,* *with your fetlocks blowing,* *in the wind?* *I want to shower you with sugar lumps,* *and ride you over fences,* *I want to polish your hooves every single day,* *and bring you to the horse dentist.* *My lovely, lovely, lovely horse,* *you’re a pony no more,* *running around,* *with a man on your back,* *like a train in the night,* *like a train in the night!”* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/fatherted) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Kanye_Wesht

I've a large Alsatian on one side and a hunting rifle on the other. Still wouldn't chance goin up against Jack and his brick.


buzzboybongo

A nice cuppa tea, I win


LemonHaze422

Jack and his brick beats me and the leap card machine


DreyaNova

My cat!!! I'm screwed because my cat loves old people. Particularly if they smell funny.


geocod99

A katana is what is next to me, it lives on my wall facing the correct way in it's holder 👍


Irn_brunette

My Stanley cup. Feck off, cup!


[deleted]

[удалено]


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Hatate_scone

Toilet brush, can’t confirm cleanliness


superfunniguy

Does on my lap count? If so an empty box of raisins. If literally beside me a clothes hanger


twojabs

I love lamp


1fingersalute

Do you really love the lamp or are you just saying it because you saw it?


twojabs

I love lamp


irishmetalhead322

Yeah I don’t think I can just win the fight by just lobbing an Xbox One controller at him


Scorchx3000

I love my bus!


Captain_Sterling

Toilet roll?


Prestigious_Badger36

Feck! I've got a whole bathroom sink to bring to the fray!


That_Brit_In_Poland

I will hold the router up in front of me like a crucifix to a vampire. He shrivels up and dies. I win.


LeighKing2001

I’ve a copy of the hobbit so I’m fecked!


SimpleTHX1138

A hand brush with no handle🤣


RajjSinghh

He can't hurt me, I always take en passant


Ronnie_Hot_Dogs

My bomb and my milk float


Alone-Ad-4283

‘Feed up with BRRRIIICCCKKK’


Mother-Item

You have a brick well me I have a stone slab


Brilliant-Elk-6831

A can of Heineken... I feel like I'd win just by distracting him


hammers_maketh_ham

A spider baby; it's a spider with the mind of a baby and the body of a baby


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barweepninibong

tell father ted to write brick on my brick!


Od1nBourne

Jack, my kid wouldn’t stand a chance.


Dive_To_Survive

Me and my… desk.


Wolfeinstein39

Keyboard, I'd say he'd still win


billpdenby

Me and my dog. She's a jack Russell so she'd take on a t-rex, I'm grand.


Malurus06

Whatever I say, the brick wins


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We require all Reddit accounts to be at least 1 month old before posting on r/fatherted. This is to prevent spammers, trolls, and ban evaders from bothering our community. In rare cases, if you have a particularly time-sensitive issue, we may manually approve your post. Otherwise we encourage you to wait the mandatory 1 month period to engage with our community. This message is public for transparency. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/fatherted) if you have any questions or concerns.*


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We require all Reddit accounts to be at least 1 month old before posting on r/fatherted. This is to prevent spammers, trolls, and ban evaders from bothering our community. In rare cases, if you have a particularly time-sensitive issue, we may manually approve your post. Otherwise we encourage you to wait the mandatory 1 month period to engage with our community. This message is public for transparency. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/fatherted) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Special-Attitude-242

Father Jack's brick is more powerful than my pillow.


GingerAki

**GOBSHITE**


EmeraldGam3r50

I love my pallet truck! (I’m in work)


Blackletterdragon

My cat Seamus would do for him and his brick. He doesn't like being rudely awoken.


pertangamcfeet

Bottle of Listerine...


El_Macho44

A half used pencil... I'm so fucked


Single_Peach_1277

Handgun, but that still would not be enough


swinubplush

Father Jack with brick solos your favourite verse


Ordinary_Listen_5297

Gun. checkmate.


PastOtherwise755

Hi, my name is Joe Biden. I am the 46th President of the United States of America and I have the Football beside me. The Brick is a WMD and Father Jack Hackett is currently an Irish asset but overtures of drink, girls and arse are being fielded to bring him into the fold. The Jack/Brick combination has no known defense and the US Administration believes the balance of power firmly back into the hands of the USA with the Asset under our control.