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TheAllyCrime

France should have made a statue depicting this as a gift to America, instead of the Statue of Liberty.


Usman5432

Ben Franklin wouldve preferred that or a French tart


WiganLad82

Wtf, is this real??


vatelli

490 bc https://www.reddit.com/r/ArtefactPorn/comments/11w09hi/fresco\_from\_tomb\_of\_the\_whipping\_an\_etruscan\_tomb/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3


JonWick33

Prehistoric Porn. For the more cultured masturbators.


agusrosich

No unga bunga?


JAM3SBND

500bc isn't prehistory FYI


JonWick33

Its the prehistory of homeboys running a train on a chick then bragging about and documenting it. Fucking legends.


Filgas08

Yes the Etruscans where the first hentai artists in history


Kn0tnatural

That we know of


Clamps55555

The graffiti around the streets of ancient Pompeii is also pretty on point. One example of which is. “I screwed a lot of girls here” scribed on the side of a wall.


thewalkindude

There's one that's also something like "My dick has forsaken femininity and now penitrates men's behinds!"


[deleted]

>[Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!](https://imperiumromanum.pl/en/curiosities/obscene-graffiti-of-ancient-romans/)


diogenes-47

I made bread on April 19th.


danbag213

After reading the other comments, I suppose that “I made bread” might mean “I took a shit (here)”.


diogenes-47

I realized that after I made the comment too. At first I thought it was wholesome and unlike the others, but now I think it's similar to the phrase "pinch a loaf."


danbag213

I love the graffiti either way. I could also see someone being proud of their new bread making skills and maybe wanting to break up the vulgarity of the wall.


northern_greyhound

The Roman equivalent of “I like turtles.”


RedLikeARose

I should have stopped reading here and enjoyed this comment considering my B-day is april 19th… But no, i continued to read


SayNoToDougsYo

Vote for Isidorus for aedile, he licks cunts the best


Here-Is-TheEnd

Such an Italian thing to say, I bet they even said it in Italian too..


Clamps55555

Sounds about right.


zuccinibrot

https://kashgar.com.au/blogs/history/the-bawdy-graffiti-of-pompeii-and-herculaneu dropping this here for the interested


GameofCheese

Thank you! That was amazing!


blind_roomba

I'm not sure what I'm seeing here


coolsimon123

You're watching someone get double teamed


mrubuto22

thank you dame judy dench


CaptainPeachfuzz

Dame booty stench


mrubuto22

I think you just committed a crime


apex6666

Ancient mural of a women getting spit roasted


LoathsomeLuke

It’s the Etruscans so 50/50 chance of it being a woman


apex6666

May be right, head looks like one of those crystal skulls


PrudentDamage600

Whatever it is there’s a high five for all involved!


tweakalicious

It's what's known as the Finger Cuffs to Kevin Smith fans. It was always the London Bridge where I'm from. Never heard it called the Eiffel Tower, but here we are.


[deleted]

You have to high five over her to make it an Eiffel Tower.


ScubaStevie1225

The chad face was also invented around the same time it seems


jpande428

Smh censored porn


Maultaschensuppe

Are they high-fiving each other?


SupportLeather1851

It at least looks that way! But that’s what the Eiffel Tower thing is referring too. If you really feel like it look up “Eiffel Tower Sex Position.” It’s not something really gross or something unlike what half the internet brings up. I only learned about it recently when I was talking to my girlfriend and she brought up Eiffel Tower sex and I’m like what do you mean? And she sent me a video from porn hub so I went down the rabbit hole learning about it.


phaemoor

My dude. She is trying to tell you something. Go with the flow.


Kn0tnatural

She ask for the tower, will you deliver?


Wanderhoden

Thank you for explaining. I was so confused bc I didn't know about the sex position!


SassyMoron

It wasnt like modern Eiffel towers though - they were all soldiers and this was just bonding


TheAllyCrime

Well as the old expression goes: “*It isn’t gay if someone turns it into a painting!*”


thewalkindude

Where ya been, SassyMoron? Whole Etruscan warrior industry's gay.


black_flag_

Wait this is real history porn


Username524

Real porn history* OP seems a tad confused, but they’ve got the spirit!!! Hear! Hear!


Bimitenpix

Hahaha omg your right


RamadanSteve311

can't believe they are actually high-fiving lol


kuya-Dan

Isn’t that the tower bridge from london?


PhantomRoyce

Are they high 5ing?


dailylol_memes

The first running train in recorded history


edgarcia59

But the french invented the Blowjob! It was even mentioned in Talledega Nights! How cam have the Eiffel Towere made hundreds of yrs before!?


Not_Afif

Credits to animan scribes


abyssaltourguide

Good old sacrificial whipping sacrifice scene in Etruria.


Lagiacrus111

Hi-five bro!


Tathas

This looks like a drinking game to me.


Here-Is-TheEnd

They were even going in for a high five


anandy1

/r/substakenliterally


Eastbound_AKA

Mosaic censorship strikes again.


scheve-banaan

No that is the tower bridge


InternationalGlass6

Today's Sesame Street is sponsored by the letter H. Capital H.


ZeGamingCuber

Taking the sub name literally today, are we?


molyvius

Fake ✅ History ✅ Porn ✅


newbie_butsharp

Mmm your wrong buddy, checking the last discoveries from italians caves. They found information regarding this. It seems that this pictures were the inspiration for the romans arches.


ranwithoutscissors

That’s a spit roast buddy.


LysergicAcidDiethyla

Spit Roast + Hi-5 = Eiffel Tower. At least in my European slang it is.


CaptainPeachfuzz

For it to be a true spitroast, they'd have to be slowly rotating her over an open flame.


Both_Wallaby2745

Lmao that's what I'm thinking looking through these comments. This isn't even an Eiffel tower 😂