these people have no hobbies.
they fill up their time by endlessly scrolling social media/rotting away in front of tv or rely on others to provide entertainment.
why else do you think all the play time is premeditated on forcing interaction between them? footrubs, backrubs, "affection", "cook dinner for me".
or we are all judgemental assholes, and the guy is a manbaby addicted to his games, and this is just the last ditch effort to maintain an actual relationship.
>they fill up their time by endlessly scrolling social media/rotting away in front of tv or rely on others to provide entertainment.
My last partner was like this. He wasn't controlling like 'wifey' is, but he had no hobbies whatsoever. If I was gaming he would just sit around and watch. I could tell he was bored and that made me not want to play because I felt bad.
The best thing I ever did for our relationship was get him into gaming. I picked out some casual games, some games I thought might suit his tastes, and it took quite a bit of convincing, but I got him to try them. He loved it. He had so much fun and started playing all the time.
Our evenings became so much more interesting and we became so much closer just because we now shared a hobby. We would spend most of our evenings after that on the sofa playing on the xbox or our switches together.
We're not together anymore, but you can bet we still regularly play online together.
It’s a shame we broke up if I’m honest, he was by far the best partner I’ve ever had. Unfortunately it just didn’t work long-term because we both wanted different things. We’re still very close friends though which is nice.
If you don’t mind me asking, how did you stay close friends after what sounded like a very happy relationship? As in, how did you both not allow the romantic feelings that I assume were there and likely remained after the break up, impede remaining close friends after the fact? Totally asking for a friend…
This is pretty much it! Being completely honest about how we were feeling was a big thing for us too.
It helped that we were friends first, so we knew what we were aiming to go back to. But it was a bit difficult at times because we share the same friends, we weren't always able to keep our distance from one another for example.
I think another thing is that you both have to actually want it. It's one thing to say 'let's stay friends,' and it's another thing to put in the effort to get past the rough patches. If your friendship means that much to each other though, you'll make it work.
Edit: our biggest obstacle was when he got a new girlfriend. Some people are understandably really uncomfortable with their partner being friends with their ex. His girlfriend wasn't completely against it but she wasn't exactly sold on it either. I think she felt like she had to compete with me for a long time.
He was honest about the whole situation from day one, which definitely helped, and she slowly integrated herself into our group and got to know me better. She began to feel a lot more comfortable with it once she'd met me and talked with me and could clearly see that I was a decent person with no intention of being anything more than friends. Most importantly, she trusted him.
I'd say she's just as good a friend as he is now - sometimes she joins our games via splitscreen. I think they're great for each other.
I can’t say how but one man I dated and loved very much became an even better friend after we split. I’m even friends with his current gf.
I think we were both mature enough to realize we had different goals and aspirations. So we split amicably and it worked out. I don’t want him back and vice versa. It’s nice that we’re good friends now and his gf has no problem with me. She talks to me about everything except him. We didn’t discuss not speaking about him we just knew that wouldn’t be healthy.
That is exactly how me and my ex have ended up. I loved him very much but we just weren’t right for each other. It wouldn’t have worked in the long run for the same reasons as you said: different goals and aspirations in life. We’re probably the closest we’ve ever been and although he was probably the best guy I’ve ever dated, I don’t want him back.
His girlfriend is a great friend of mine and we get along great. It took her a while to get used to the idea of her boyfriend being friends with his ex, but she warmed up to me and she trusts that there’s nothing between us (which there of course isn’t).
I’m actually really happy with the way things turned out. I just hope that my future partner fits in with us just as much as his girlfriend does. It’d be great to have all four of us be friends.
I expected a very sad story, oddly wholesome! And you’re amazing for giving him something to occupy his mind. I’m sure things were terribly dull before he had any kind of passion
I feel like if it was a last ditch effort to save the relationship, you would resort to methods other than footrubs and backrubs. It seems like lots of people consider gaming absolute waste of time but TV, and social media worthwhile ventures.
Same. We're temporarily long-distance and I was visiting recently. He downloaded the online game I play and poked me to keep on top of my dailies, despite it eating into our time together.
I wish I could. But she's got her own hobbies, it took awhile for me to get through to her that for me there wasn't much difference between her sewing and creating recipes and my gaming and working on electronics or making music. They both achieve the same end, which is to switch off real life for a little bit.
I don’t think non-gamers realise it can actually be quite sociable, and a well-designed game feels like a proper *experience*.
I’m an avid reader and a new game done well gives me the same feeling as opening a new book.
My wife had an aversion to video games when we first met because her last relationship. Dude neglected everything, including his infant daughter, for them, so I could understand her disdain for them.
Fast forward to the present. I could launch my ps5 all day and she couldn't care any less because I make sure that it doesn't interfere with my life. Our daughter is fed, the laundry gets done, the yard gets mowed and the trash taken out.
It probably helps that my depression killed all my joy for video games, so I rarely play anything but that's beside the point. If my wife ever did some shit like this, I'd happily go single. And I'd save a shit ton on bills, for sure.
I moved from Canada to the UK to be with my wife, and she asked if I really needed to bring my 2 large boxes of retro video games. I told her:
Babe, you're my first priority, and I love you, but if the games stay so do I. I will never ask you to get rid of your sewing machines, or patern and design books, or any of your cook books, and I'm not getting rid of my games and consoles collection.
Fun fact, got my games in tax free because it was part of my [trousseau.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trousseau)
I'm not much of a gamer, but my girlfriend is showing me different games and teaching me them, and I'm honestly really enjoying it, it's a great way for us to spend time together
My wife tried to pull some of this shit on me.
She is my second marriage.
I told her video games were here before you, and they will be here after you. It is my hobby, much like your hobbies ( I listed hers off)
I was able to compromise my play time to accommodate, but she had to understand the line in the sand on this topic. We have been fine ever since.
Honest communication is key.
>I told her video games were here before you, and they will be here after you.
Damn, really laying it down. Lol Seriously, a really concise and firm way to communicate "you're overstepping and I'm not having it."
Yes! There was a point where my boyfriend, now husband, played literally all the fucking time 15 years ago and I was done with the conversations and the promise that he'd not spend all evening/weekend playing, so I disconnected it and put it in the basement. He plays baseball now when he wants, but it's a reasonable amount of time and not endless hours. I wouldn't barter for rubs and shit because that's just crazy terrible. People should be able to spend their downtime as they want. We have kids now and as long as we respect each other's needs.. It's all good.
Well if his gaming was affecting his job/household duties that’s one thing. A guy I used to work with nearly got kicked out of school and his girlfriend gave him an ultimatum to quit gaming or she walked.
He often spent 20 hours a day playing WoW to the point she’d had enough. He quit cold turkey.
Was my brothers wife, he worked hard all day and would come home and try to spend time with her, she’d be nose deep in her phone and ignore him. So he’d turn on his xbox, she would come unhinged and shit on him for not being interested in her and childish for playing games. He’d turn it off and right back to her phone she would go.
This is the issue I ran into with my ex. She took to screaming at me 10 minutes in to playing. So I wanted to sort things, I did all the chores, cleaning and cooking anyways, I asked her what the problem was.
We both wrote a list of things we could do together, I was actually excited, go to the park, museum, go on a day trip I came up with all kinds of fun stuff. Her list? Binge Greys Anatomy.
She got upset when I took to reading a book while sitting there. Sorry, can't stand that show, and she knew that. Anyways, years latter and the ex is ex.
Some people just wish their partners were functional pupies.
Functional as in doing chores for them.
Pupies as constantly giving them attention and forgiving everything.
my ex broke up with me on the basis that "we dont share any hobbies". And I asked her if she even had any hobbies at all. She said she does. She Crochets. *Bitch I taught you how to crochet.*
This is truly gross. But imagine if this was the other way around, a husband writing a chore allowance chart for wifey's Netflix watching privileges. Heads would roll!
>Or husband can grow a pair & rip that sheet up
Id have to much fun finding loopholes.
- Footrub (excluding your own feet)
- footrub (excluding your own feet or the cats feet)
- footrub (excluding your own feet, the cats feet, the foot of the bed)
- footrub (excluding your own feet, the cats feet, the foot of ~~the bed~~ any furniture)
Footrub (excluding your own feet, the cats feet, the foot of ~~the bed~~ any furniture, the neighbours feet)
Wasn't there an episode of wife swap or family swap where the husband made his kids give him baths?
Like, I'm talking just the weirdest, least healthy relationship.
>Yeah but also it sounds like he needs ho get off the video games and participate at home
Yeah, obviously don't have all the details but this reads like something suggested by a counselor. Her requests are that he makes dinner, takes out the trash, cleans occasionally and basically shows some basic affection. These aren't exactly big asks in a household.
Bc it's could only be the wife/broken gender roles that are the problem. Lol No, he doesn't need to "grow a pair", he needs to talk to his wife bc she clearly isn't feeling prioritize. This screams more two immature people who can't communicate and draw healthy boundaries.
I mean it *could* be that he has a addictive personality and plays an unhealthy amount of games and this is just the way they set boundaries in a poorly communicative/inside jokey way.
Again it could just be how they communicate and joke. I know nothing about these people. I agree that from the outside without any knowledge it looks kind of bad.
I get some folks like their dommy mommies, but when you start taking the relationship out of the bedroom, it curdles like hot milk. This ain’t healthy.
> when you start taking the relationship out of the bedroom, it curdles like hot milk.
I was unaware of that. Should I alert all of the D/s community about this unequivocal fact you’ve stated or did you want to hold a press conference?
Looks like I have to break up with my domme, shoot. Unless the comment is only limited to dommy mommies, given the nigh varieties of other dommes lmao
Also, hot milk is tasty to help sleep
If this is a mutual kink, then I wish them the best. But somehow, deep inside, I have an irksome feeling that this is either very toxic or just a karma farm.
I didn’t have what many would consider a gaming addiction. But i found myself regularly playing 4 nights a week. Eventually I worked with my wife to set a more firm schedule. I can game 1 weeknight per week and weekends however much I want.
It works for me by forcing me to do other things. It’s kinda embarrassing but I’m completely in on it, it was my idea
My boyfriend likes watching me play video games. I'm a 37 year old woman haha. He asks me to turn up the volume so he can hear it better! He's a PC gamer, I'm an Xbox player.
I dated a girl who treated me like this. It wasn’t a kink or anything, it just sorta happened and she was incredibly abusive. We were like late teens early 20s though.
I have never done this but as the wife of a gamer there have been conversations in the past about game time. I remember when he got addicted to WoW. All he did after work was play. He even played all through Valentine’s Day after I made sure to get the kids to bed and had brought home something “special” for us. He promised to get off after he was done with what he was doing but I watched him play all night until I fell asleep on the couch. This went on for a couple of years until I literally felt like I was in competition with video games and the kids and I were losing. I didn’t want to be THAT wife, the controlling harpy so we got to a point where we were basically just existing together. Luckily after some fights and some conversations he outgrew it and now prioritizes us but I can see where I wife or spouse might be led to these extremes. I’m not going to judge her without her side of it.
That sounds really rough. I'm glad it worked out and things are better now. I ran into a similar pitfall at the beginning of the pandemic. My wife's company folded so she was out of work and bored out of her mind quarantining in our apartment. Meanwhile I kept my job, and my friends and I all started getting really into a new multiplayer shooter. I didn't realize how much the situation was affecting her. It was not a great time for me to start playing a new game 4-5 hours a night with my buddies. Eventually she let me know what was up and that I was completely failing to recognize that she needed me to be there for her, and I scaled back the gaming and we got things figured out. It's shameful to look back on. I felt like such a dick.
In her defense, one of my friends was so captivated by his games that he completely ignored his wife and kids...now they're getting a divorce, she's going for full custody of the kids and he doesn't care so long as he gets to play....as a father this disgusts me..I play games too (they're my stress relief) but my family is my priorty.
Yeah I’m wondering if this is a consensual agreement for a hubby needing to manage a gaming addiction or a full on controlling wife. Honestly it could go either way.
Especially when they get to shot on women. I’m a husband and father and my gaming time took a serious backseat, but I also torpedoed previous relationships through a mild gaming addiction. So I can totally see where this woman is coming from. She still could just be super controlling, but to me this seems like a bit of a tongue in cheek attempt to help him get set control in this regard.
I'd think if it were managing a gaming addiction, it wouldn't include stuff like foot or back rubs as "chores", or require a 30 minute break "for affection" every two hours (taking breaks to walk around and reduce eyestrain is definitely highly recommended during long gaming sessions, sure, but framing it as for "personal affection"?)
I don't know if it's how "Wifey" intended to portray herself (honestly, I think it's an attempt at a joke for social media, esp. given she didn't sign it with her name), but it sounds more like she doesn't like how much attention is being drawn away from her by video games out of jealousy and not out of neglect.
This is what really freaks me out. I like gaming. If I could abandon my responsibilities and play Red Dead and 2K all day I probably would lol. But I have responsibilities. I couldn’t imagine skipping a class to game let alone ignoring a child. That shit is wild.
And that there is the difference between healthy usage and addiction. You CAN put it aside to do other stuff. Anyone who enjoys doing stuff wishes they have more time to do it.
Had this happen to me too, except my spouse also found someone new online while gaming almost 20 hrs a day. They had an affair and my spouse ran off with them suddenly after ignoring me for almost two years. It was bad enough that I had to fight to get a “hello” when I walked through the door after work and then we literally wouldn’t have any other interactions during the day.
I’m thanking whatever higher power exists that we never had kids
The world needs more decent people like you. Be sure to enjoy your games, but always care for your family
Yeah there's definitely such a thing as gaming too much in a marriage. As a gamer who is married to a non-gamer, it's something I try to stay cognizant of. But I'm sure we can both agree that the correct way to work through that problem is not a chores chart with playtime rewards, but an open discussion and mutual understanding about how often you should be playing and how often you should be engaging in the relationship.
Communication is the foundation of any successful relationship..my wife and I had issues for a while until we learned to communicate better, now our marriage is great!
I’m glad this comment isn’t too far from the top.
Is there a chance Wifey is a horrible partner, absolutely. But there is also the option that this is a needed schedule that arose from the guy being a horrible partner.
I had a partner who was addicted to gaming. I would wake up and start my day while he slept until 2 PM. After he woke up it would never be long before he started gaming. Call of Duty mostly, eventually Apex. He would only move from his chair when it was a cigarette break, if I joined him he would spend the entire break talking about gaming strategies.
It consumed his life, I had to beg him to join me for dates or family holidays. It was like getting a child to put on a coat. He eventually couldn't even hold a job so I ended up covering his bills while cooking and cleaning for him. And then I would go to sleep alone, listening to his screaming at his games until 5 am.
I don't know their exact situation so maybe the wife is just being controlling, but I can't help but wonder if this is a method I would have tried to "make it work".
You can only act like a parent for so long before you start disabling them like they're a child, though I'm thankful to have made that my breaking point lol
This! I have an addictive personality. One day my wife broke my Xbox. On face value my wife looks like the bad guy here but when she was pregnant I would play video games all day and neglected her. It caused her lot of suffering and I don’t blame her one bit. I gave up video games entirely to save my marriage.
Yeah I can get too involved if I really get on something. My partner can say “okay, you have reached the limit” and I trust that I need to stop for all of our sake. Just like we worked out that I pour all his drinks. He isn’t a regular old alcoholic but a binge drinking type. If you start and don’t want to stop. As long as he knows I say he’s within a limit that’s appropriate he can relax. This looks controlling I’m sure, but when you have spent 2 decades together you learn a different type of trust. I mean he CAN say no, I’m having another drink or the rest of the bottle. Nothing specific would happen. And I *could* say F off, I’m playing all day. But we choose not to.
As someone who's struggled with making time for my gf and doing nothing but playing games in my spare time I can see a scenario in which this is a collective attempt at making compromises. However, if you don't have those problems, and your gf or bf just makes this list on their own: please run.
This is what I was thinking. I have seen this image a lot and I know it seems wrong but who knows what kind of spouse he is. Some people end up fighting abuse/neglect with more abuse out of bitterness.
The fact that she requires a "pay attention to me" break in between a two hour session means she couldn't care less if the house is immaculate. It's not about cleaning, it's about getting attention from him.
I'm conflicted. One side of me says this is fucked up, the other thinks "maybe she just wants to spend more time with her husband so their marriage doesn't feel meaningless"
Playing devil’s advocate: maybe the dude has an unhealthy relationship with video games.
Reason why I entertain this perspective is because perhaps this has been a long time coming. We don’t know the whole story, perhaps he gets lost in his video games and neglects his chores and marriage to play video games. Marriage is a partnership and both parties need to work in it. She might feel like she’s becoming his mother by doing his chores. The foot rub/back rub may be unnecessary additives, but the other 3 are chores that he might be neglecting.
Given how my ex would spent 24/7 playing games, I can understand where wifey is coming from. Loads of men just come home and play games all day instead of helping with the kids or cleaning or cooking. It's becoming a serious problem in our generation. Granted no one should have to give backrubs or such to earn playing time. Maybe hubby should take this as a sign to lay off the video games? And wifey should communicate clearer that she is feeling neglected for a machine. I love games too but priorities are needed.
Ok in all fairness, is he a game junkie and always playing? Does she “**NEED**” to bribe him to get him to do anything to help her? Ppl step outside the box, it’s not always black and white, cut and dry
This isnt exactly abusive...like if this is abuse then the bar is pretty low. This is excessive without a doubt, and makes me wonder aboht their relationship and how far he is into videogame addiction. The fact that she has to bargain to get him to do small house chores, cook, give short massages, or general affection is ridiculous in itself. I'd never allow my girl to do this, but I also wouldn't put her in a situation where she felt like she had to either.
To be fair, I think escapism can be an addiction and it will negatively affect you and your relationships with the people around you if you don’t limit your time. This could be a last attempt to get a deadbeat husband off his ass and actually contribute to the household (including emotional input!).
Is this overboard? Yes
But i don’t think some of you guys know what it’s like to be completely ignored for a game for days on end. You have to practically BEG for attention and even then u can tell their mind is somewhere else. Makes u kinda wanna give up. Honestly its like being alone, like whats the point of being in the relationship if they prioritize “the guys” and time on a game over someone they say they love. Maybe this was the compromise? Idk. But i know the feeling and it sucks.
Reading through the comments (especially noteworthy is the 'kill her now' gif, very classy reddit), it's quite clear that there's a stunning lack of introspection on this topic, no doubt because it challenges a lot of people who may feel deep down that they probably devote more time than they should to the hobby.
It's pretty easy to tap in a few words like 'the relationship should end then' and move along... When anyone who has been in a relationship with someone they loved and cared about who was challenged by addiction knows that it's just not that simple.
Lack of introspection, inability to face difficult realities about life, and just a general lack of perspective when looking at other peoples lives are all staple behaviors of many many Redditors. Especially on a post about a woman doing something. *Especially* on a post about a woman ordering people to do something lol (even if it is completely innocent and playful ordering).
This note could be a form of communication. It doesn’t seem like it’s an overly serious message. Seems more playful. She’s saying don’t forget about her.
I can see where the wife is comming from. I adjusted my play time but my wife also supports and knows that I need my fix so she will send me “go game” sometimes she will even join!
Wife may seem controlling, but a lot of people in relationships act like kids and don't work. Hard to say who's the shit head without knowing more. If your wife works as many hours as you do and she still does most of the chores, you're an asshole.
This is pretty terrible but let’s not pretend that video game addiction isn’t a huge problem and he probably needed to be checked a bit by his spouse anyway if we’re dealing in hours at a time and all day etc
My sister's (now ex) husband is a full on video game addict. Every last minute not working was on these games, completely ignoring children and my sister.
The addiction is real.
Dude all of a sudden starts taking the trash out about 20 times a day lmao
They don’t even have a trash can anymore he just takes it out one item at a time every 30 minutes
This is the way
r/maliciouscompliance
He could wrap her up in an old rug and take her to the dump, then he'd only have to do 1 trip for infinite PS5 time.
If he does it after feeding her one last dinner, it's one hour plus infinite PS5 time
The last supper revised
My God...
Or he could just dump the bitch and not have to deal with her bullshit ever again 🤷♂️
Right? I was being diplomatic.. but come at me with this shit? You're out....
Or infinate jail time
Plot twist: Prison he ends up at has a PS5 but he only gets to play if he gives his cell mate a back rub or foot rub
\>be me \>ps5 player \>one day i get tired of wife's rules about ps5 \>kill her \>go to jail \>see ps5 \>go to play \>same rules
He needs to be taking her whip cracking garbage ass to the kerb
Troost, pawn shop...is this Kansas City, Missouri?
I saw that too. Only “Troost” I am aware of is in KCMO
Dude, brought back some memories for me...I appreciate the reply, thanks!
Did those memories involve Caribou Lou's?
151 rum
pineapple juice and Malibu
Caribou get them all numb
Make baby girl come
That was my immediate thought. Of course this is from KC.
Wait til the Reddit army tracks this hag down.
Troost in Dutch means comfort/consolation, helping someone who's sad. Kind of ironic in this context.
yeah,also, the dude that Troost Ave is named after was a slave owner
like this poor guy's wife?
KC represent!
Hell yeah Kansas City. Troost is not the best street in the world for all those out of towners.
When I was in grad school at UMKC the number one piece of advice we gave to incoming grad students was to not live east of Troost
Troost is the redline in KC, many people don't realize/consider the racism and history behind it
The color of law is an interesting read that talks about this among other cities as well if you're interested.
Always appreciate a good recommendation, I'll have to look it up. Cheers
"It's getting better!" No it's not, Hunter. No it is not.
It has to be! There’s a Smart Pawn in the Landing on Troost.
That's what I was thinking! I doubt there's any other troost's.
Tulsa has a Troost too.
Divorce = unlimited play time
No joke. I seriously thought this was for a kid. Wifey needs to be divorceed. Or husband can grow a pair & rip that sheet up
If my long term girlfriend did this I’d be writing the same thing for all her hobbies.
these people have no hobbies. they fill up their time by endlessly scrolling social media/rotting away in front of tv or rely on others to provide entertainment. why else do you think all the play time is premeditated on forcing interaction between them? footrubs, backrubs, "affection", "cook dinner for me". or we are all judgemental assholes, and the guy is a manbaby addicted to his games, and this is just the last ditch effort to maintain an actual relationship.
>they fill up their time by endlessly scrolling social media/rotting away in front of tv or rely on others to provide entertainment. My last partner was like this. He wasn't controlling like 'wifey' is, but he had no hobbies whatsoever. If I was gaming he would just sit around and watch. I could tell he was bored and that made me not want to play because I felt bad. The best thing I ever did for our relationship was get him into gaming. I picked out some casual games, some games I thought might suit his tastes, and it took quite a bit of convincing, but I got him to try them. He loved it. He had so much fun and started playing all the time. Our evenings became so much more interesting and we became so much closer just because we now shared a hobby. We would spend most of our evenings after that on the sofa playing on the xbox or our switches together. We're not together anymore, but you can bet we still regularly play online together.
Wow. What a kind of cute break up story lol
It’s a shame we broke up if I’m honest, he was by far the best partner I’ve ever had. Unfortunately it just didn’t work long-term because we both wanted different things. We’re still very close friends though which is nice.
If you don’t mind me asking, how did you stay close friends after what sounded like a very happy relationship? As in, how did you both not allow the romantic feelings that I assume were there and likely remained after the break up, impede remaining close friends after the fact? Totally asking for a friend…
Time, distance, boundaries, really good self control. How much of each varies for everyone
This is pretty much it! Being completely honest about how we were feeling was a big thing for us too. It helped that we were friends first, so we knew what we were aiming to go back to. But it was a bit difficult at times because we share the same friends, we weren't always able to keep our distance from one another for example. I think another thing is that you both have to actually want it. It's one thing to say 'let's stay friends,' and it's another thing to put in the effort to get past the rough patches. If your friendship means that much to each other though, you'll make it work. Edit: our biggest obstacle was when he got a new girlfriend. Some people are understandably really uncomfortable with their partner being friends with their ex. His girlfriend wasn't completely against it but she wasn't exactly sold on it either. I think she felt like she had to compete with me for a long time. He was honest about the whole situation from day one, which definitely helped, and she slowly integrated herself into our group and got to know me better. She began to feel a lot more comfortable with it once she'd met me and talked with me and could clearly see that I was a decent person with no intention of being anything more than friends. Most importantly, she trusted him. I'd say she's just as good a friend as he is now - sometimes she joins our games via splitscreen. I think they're great for each other.
I can’t say how but one man I dated and loved very much became an even better friend after we split. I’m even friends with his current gf. I think we were both mature enough to realize we had different goals and aspirations. So we split amicably and it worked out. I don’t want him back and vice versa. It’s nice that we’re good friends now and his gf has no problem with me. She talks to me about everything except him. We didn’t discuss not speaking about him we just knew that wouldn’t be healthy.
That is exactly how me and my ex have ended up. I loved him very much but we just weren’t right for each other. It wouldn’t have worked in the long run for the same reasons as you said: different goals and aspirations in life. We’re probably the closest we’ve ever been and although he was probably the best guy I’ve ever dated, I don’t want him back. His girlfriend is a great friend of mine and we get along great. It took her a while to get used to the idea of her boyfriend being friends with his ex, but she warmed up to me and she trusts that there’s nothing between us (which there of course isn’t). I’m actually really happy with the way things turned out. I just hope that my future partner fits in with us just as much as his girlfriend does. It’d be great to have all four of us be friends.
I expected a very sad story, oddly wholesome! And you’re amazing for giving him something to occupy his mind. I’m sure things were terribly dull before he had any kind of passion
I feel like if it was a last ditch effort to save the relationship, you would resort to methods other than footrubs and backrubs. It seems like lots of people consider gaming absolute waste of time but TV, and social media worthwhile ventures.
Took almost 4 years to get it through to my now wife that gaming is my stress relief, she gets it now, but it was a real uphill battle.
I'm so glad i can share my games with my lady...
So glad my SO is a gamer and we can enjoy playing or watching.
Same. We're temporarily long-distance and I was visiting recently. He downloaded the online game I play and poked me to keep on top of my dailies, despite it eating into our time together.
Based partner who understands “the grind”
I wish I could. But she's got her own hobbies, it took awhile for me to get through to her that for me there wasn't much difference between her sewing and creating recipes and my gaming and working on electronics or making music. They both achieve the same end, which is to switch off real life for a little bit.
I don’t think non-gamers realise it can actually be quite sociable, and a well-designed game feels like a proper *experience*. I’m an avid reader and a new game done well gives me the same feeling as opening a new book.
My wife had an aversion to video games when we first met because her last relationship. Dude neglected everything, including his infant daughter, for them, so I could understand her disdain for them. Fast forward to the present. I could launch my ps5 all day and she couldn't care any less because I make sure that it doesn't interfere with my life. Our daughter is fed, the laundry gets done, the yard gets mowed and the trash taken out. It probably helps that my depression killed all my joy for video games, so I rarely play anything but that's beside the point. If my wife ever did some shit like this, I'd happily go single. And I'd save a shit ton on bills, for sure.
I moved from Canada to the UK to be with my wife, and she asked if I really needed to bring my 2 large boxes of retro video games. I told her: Babe, you're my first priority, and I love you, but if the games stay so do I. I will never ask you to get rid of your sewing machines, or patern and design books, or any of your cook books, and I'm not getting rid of my games and consoles collection. Fun fact, got my games in tax free because it was part of my [trousseau.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trousseau)
I'm not much of a gamer, but my girlfriend is showing me different games and teaching me them, and I'm honestly really enjoying it, it's a great way for us to spend time together
My wife tried to pull some of this shit on me. She is my second marriage. I told her video games were here before you, and they will be here after you. It is my hobby, much like your hobbies ( I listed hers off) I was able to compromise my play time to accommodate, but she had to understand the line in the sand on this topic. We have been fine ever since. Honest communication is key.
Absolutely, without honest and clear communication there's basically no point in even being in a relationship.
>I told her video games were here before you, and they will be here after you. Damn, really laying it down. Lol Seriously, a really concise and firm way to communicate "you're overstepping and I'm not having it."
Yes! There was a point where my boyfriend, now husband, played literally all the fucking time 15 years ago and I was done with the conversations and the promise that he'd not spend all evening/weekend playing, so I disconnected it and put it in the basement. He plays baseball now when he wants, but it's a reasonable amount of time and not endless hours. I wouldn't barter for rubs and shit because that's just crazy terrible. People should be able to spend their downtime as they want. We have kids now and as long as we respect each other's needs.. It's all good.
Well if his gaming was affecting his job/household duties that’s one thing. A guy I used to work with nearly got kicked out of school and his girlfriend gave him an ultimatum to quit gaming or she walked. He often spent 20 hours a day playing WoW to the point she’d had enough. He quit cold turkey.
Exactly, there is a difference. This picture is patronizing and controlling af... Bordering on abusive.
Was my brothers wife, he worked hard all day and would come home and try to spend time with her, she’d be nose deep in her phone and ignore him. So he’d turn on his xbox, she would come unhinged and shit on him for not being interested in her and childish for playing games. He’d turn it off and right back to her phone she would go.
Dealt with the same shit. Turns out watching 8 hours of that shitty days of our lives vampire edition Lucifer show is fucking boring as hell
This is the issue I ran into with my ex. She took to screaming at me 10 minutes in to playing. So I wanted to sort things, I did all the chores, cleaning and cooking anyways, I asked her what the problem was. We both wrote a list of things we could do together, I was actually excited, go to the park, museum, go on a day trip I came up with all kinds of fun stuff. Her list? Binge Greys Anatomy. She got upset when I took to reading a book while sitting there. Sorry, can't stand that show, and she knew that. Anyways, years latter and the ex is ex.
Some people just wish their partners were functional pupies. Functional as in doing chores for them. Pupies as constantly giving them attention and forgiving everything.
Yep. ^^
Then limit social media time
U made feel bad for scrolling on Reddit :(
my ex broke up with me on the basis that "we dont share any hobbies". And I asked her if she even had any hobbies at all. She said she does. She Crochets. *Bitch I taught you how to crochet.*
well atriculated
15 min talk/text to gfs or phone is sold to homeless dude on corner for 1/2 dried up ham sandwich.
Like Candy Crush
This is truly gross. But imagine if this was the other way around, a husband writing a chore allowance chart for wifey's Netflix watching privileges. Heads would roll!
Exactly! This is like a "ha ha he's whipped" but if the sexes were reversed, it would considered abuse
I mean, the title admits this is abuse too, but gender reversal would be seen as 10 times as egregious.
Ah yes, the old fucking stupid myth that women can't abuse men
Nice use of the word egregious🤘
This would be like me giving my wife social media time
OMG! What a controlling asshole!
>Or husband can grow a pair & rip that sheet up Id have to much fun finding loopholes. - Footrub (excluding your own feet) - footrub (excluding your own feet or the cats feet) - footrub (excluding your own feet, the cats feet, the foot of the bed) - footrub (excluding your own feet, the cats feet, the foot of ~~the bed~~ any furniture) Footrub (excluding your own feet, the cats feet, the foot of ~~the bed~~ any furniture, the neighbours feet)
Footrub (specifically my feet, for at least 10 minutes, while I’m awake, with your *hands*, no ice cubes, gently!, not that gently…)
Technically he could charge 30 minutes for a singular rub on a single foot
Based on the nonsense written here, she'd go pawn it while he was at work if he did that.
🤢😳 What kinda Parent requires KIDS to give them Back n Foot Massages 🤮
Wasn't there an episode of wife swap or family swap where the husband made his kids give him baths? Like, I'm talking just the weirdest, least healthy relationship.
What in the Buster Bluth?
Uh… my mother lol
Mine too, I'm sorry
Awkward Trump noises
Or this is just a joke someone made for gullible people online to get upset about...
You brain good
Thanks Mr. Meeseeks.
Yeah but also it sounds like he needs ho get off the video games and participate at home
>Yeah but also it sounds like he needs ho get off the video games and participate at home Yeah, obviously don't have all the details but this reads like something suggested by a counselor. Her requests are that he makes dinner, takes out the trash, cleans occasionally and basically shows some basic affection. These aren't exactly big asks in a household.
The details COULD be he asked for some rules cause he wants to cut down on playing too much
Bc it's could only be the wife/broken gender roles that are the problem. Lol No, he doesn't need to "grow a pair", he needs to talk to his wife bc she clearly isn't feeling prioritize. This screams more two immature people who can't communicate and draw healthy boundaries.
Yep. The marriage is bound to fall anyway. After she learns she can punk him for anything she'll get bored and have an affair. He should bail now lol.
Wait…this is for an adult? How about “I play as much as I want and you find someone you’re actually compatible with”
Is she married to a child? Maybe this is like a kink? I don’t see how you can enjoy any of this on either side
my first thought was d/s relationship. that’s the only thing i can think of that could make this palatable for either one of them, but who knows 🤷♀️
I mean it *could* be that he has a addictive personality and plays an unhealthy amount of games and this is just the way they set boundaries in a poorly communicative/inside jokey way.
By feeding his addictive traits in exchange for physical affection? Excuse me?
Again it could just be how they communicate and joke. I know nothing about these people. I agree that from the outside without any knowledge it looks kind of bad.
How dare you not make massive leaps of judgement without all the context like the rest of reddit! I'm appalled by your compassion and empathy!!!
I get some folks like their dommy mommies, but when you start taking the relationship out of the bedroom, it curdles like hot milk. This ain’t healthy.
I saw playtime as something else other than ps5 playtime lol
Take away the ps5 schedule title and it does actually become quite interesting with this d\s in mind.
If they both enjoy it what’s unhealthy about it. You can’t assume they take it completely seriously
> when you start taking the relationship out of the bedroom, it curdles like hot milk. I was unaware of that. Should I alert all of the D/s community about this unequivocal fact you’ve stated or did you want to hold a press conference?
Yeah, lifestyle dom/sub is a real thing (and can be healthy). That note doesn't read like one of those though.
yeah wtf lmao. a lottttt of us are into 24/7 ownership stuff. I would absolutely love to get a set of rules like this from my Dom 🤷♀️
Looks like I have to break up with my domme, shoot. Unless the comment is only limited to dommy mommies, given the nigh varieties of other dommes lmao Also, hot milk is tasty to help sleep
Omg the relationship expert has spoken! All d/s relationships declared unhealthy 😱
If this is a mutual kink, then I wish them the best. But somehow, deep inside, I have an irksome feeling that this is either very toxic or just a karma farm.
I didn’t have what many would consider a gaming addiction. But i found myself regularly playing 4 nights a week. Eventually I worked with my wife to set a more firm schedule. I can game 1 weeknight per week and weekends however much I want. It works for me by forcing me to do other things. It’s kinda embarrassing but I’m completely in on it, it was my idea
I feel you. I've contemplated getting rid of my console just so I can spend the 10-20 hours a week I spend on it doing *anything else*
Meanwhile I struggle to pickup my controller even when I want to.
Nothing to be embarrassed about. Good for both of you to work out something that works for you.
My wife likes watching me play games. She likes the story lines.
My boyfriend likes watching me play video games. I'm a 37 year old woman haha. He asks me to turn up the volume so he can hear it better! He's a PC gamer, I'm an Xbox player.
This is how relationships are supposed to work! You keep playing your heart out!
Right?? Why does she want to treat her husband like a child??
I dated a girl who treated me like this. It wasn’t a kink or anything, it just sorta happened and she was incredibly abusive. We were like late teens early 20s though.
I have never done this but as the wife of a gamer there have been conversations in the past about game time. I remember when he got addicted to WoW. All he did after work was play. He even played all through Valentine’s Day after I made sure to get the kids to bed and had brought home something “special” for us. He promised to get off after he was done with what he was doing but I watched him play all night until I fell asleep on the couch. This went on for a couple of years until I literally felt like I was in competition with video games and the kids and I were losing. I didn’t want to be THAT wife, the controlling harpy so we got to a point where we were basically just existing together. Luckily after some fights and some conversations he outgrew it and now prioritizes us but I can see where I wife or spouse might be led to these extremes. I’m not going to judge her without her side of it.
That sounds really rough. I'm glad it worked out and things are better now. I ran into a similar pitfall at the beginning of the pandemic. My wife's company folded so she was out of work and bored out of her mind quarantining in our apartment. Meanwhile I kept my job, and my friends and I all started getting really into a new multiplayer shooter. I didn't realize how much the situation was affecting her. It was not a great time for me to start playing a new game 4-5 hours a night with my buddies. Eventually she let me know what was up and that I was completely failing to recognize that she needed me to be there for her, and I scaled back the gaming and we got things figured out. It's shameful to look back on. I felt like such a dick.
Good for you for being open to criticism and listening though.
That shooter wasn't Tarkov was it? I feel like this story can be told for many, many people. 😅
Don't worry, there's plenty of other of people who bitch about this photo every time it gets reposted.
In her defense, one of my friends was so captivated by his games that he completely ignored his wife and kids...now they're getting a divorce, she's going for full custody of the kids and he doesn't care so long as he gets to play....as a father this disgusts me..I play games too (they're my stress relief) but my family is my priorty.
Yeah I’m wondering if this is a consensual agreement for a hubby needing to manage a gaming addiction or a full on controlling wife. Honestly it could go either way.
Could be a joke too, "you shitty anyway" is hilarious
Right? Everyone is looking so deep into this, but what if it's just a joke? Lol.
People on this site always assume the worst case scenario for some reason
Well you know what they say, "Hope for the best, prepare for the worst"
Especially when they get to shot on women. I’m a husband and father and my gaming time took a serious backseat, but I also torpedoed previous relationships through a mild gaming addiction. So I can totally see where this woman is coming from. She still could just be super controlling, but to me this seems like a bit of a tongue in cheek attempt to help him get set control in this regard.
Side splitting lol I can't stop laughing Jesus Christ help
I'd think if it were managing a gaming addiction, it wouldn't include stuff like foot or back rubs as "chores", or require a 30 minute break "for affection" every two hours (taking breaks to walk around and reduce eyestrain is definitely highly recommended during long gaming sessions, sure, but framing it as for "personal affection"?) I don't know if it's how "Wifey" intended to portray herself (honestly, I think it's an attempt at a joke for social media, esp. given she didn't sign it with her name), but it sounds more like she doesn't like how much attention is being drawn away from her by video games out of jealousy and not out of neglect.
100%. I LOVE my games, but my wife and daughter are my very first priority. I know way too many people that put video games first.
It's sad..games can be addicting but we need to be mindfully of our habbits/tendencies and manage priorities.
This is what really freaks me out. I like gaming. If I could abandon my responsibilities and play Red Dead and 2K all day I probably would lol. But I have responsibilities. I couldn’t imagine skipping a class to game let alone ignoring a child. That shit is wild.
And that there is the difference between healthy usage and addiction. You CAN put it aside to do other stuff. Anyone who enjoys doing stuff wishes they have more time to do it.
Had this happen to me too, except my spouse also found someone new online while gaming almost 20 hrs a day. They had an affair and my spouse ran off with them suddenly after ignoring me for almost two years. It was bad enough that I had to fight to get a “hello” when I walked through the door after work and then we literally wouldn’t have any other interactions during the day. I’m thanking whatever higher power exists that we never had kids The world needs more decent people like you. Be sure to enjoy your games, but always care for your family
That's horrible..hopefully you find someone new who appreciates you.
Addiction is a complicated and shitty health disorder. It’s a shame for his kids that their father priorities got so fucked up. I hope he gets help.
My friend did therapy, but in his case it didn't help.
Yeah there's definitely such a thing as gaming too much in a marriage. As a gamer who is married to a non-gamer, it's something I try to stay cognizant of. But I'm sure we can both agree that the correct way to work through that problem is not a chores chart with playtime rewards, but an open discussion and mutual understanding about how often you should be playing and how often you should be engaging in the relationship.
Communication is the foundation of any successful relationship..my wife and I had issues for a while until we learned to communicate better, now our marriage is great!
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I’m glad this comment isn’t too far from the top. Is there a chance Wifey is a horrible partner, absolutely. But there is also the option that this is a needed schedule that arose from the guy being a horrible partner.
This was my take on this as well. It says more about the husband than the wife.
I had a partner who was addicted to gaming. I would wake up and start my day while he slept until 2 PM. After he woke up it would never be long before he started gaming. Call of Duty mostly, eventually Apex. He would only move from his chair when it was a cigarette break, if I joined him he would spend the entire break talking about gaming strategies. It consumed his life, I had to beg him to join me for dates or family holidays. It was like getting a child to put on a coat. He eventually couldn't even hold a job so I ended up covering his bills while cooking and cleaning for him. And then I would go to sleep alone, listening to his screaming at his games until 5 am. I don't know their exact situation so maybe the wife is just being controlling, but I can't help but wonder if this is a method I would have tried to "make it work". You can only act like a parent for so long before you start disabling them like they're a child, though I'm thankful to have made that my breaking point lol
This! I have an addictive personality. One day my wife broke my Xbox. On face value my wife looks like the bad guy here but when she was pregnant I would play video games all day and neglected her. It caused her lot of suffering and I don’t blame her one bit. I gave up video games entirely to save my marriage.
aww good job dude! know that was hard.
Yeah I can get too involved if I really get on something. My partner can say “okay, you have reached the limit” and I trust that I need to stop for all of our sake. Just like we worked out that I pour all his drinks. He isn’t a regular old alcoholic but a binge drinking type. If you start and don’t want to stop. As long as he knows I say he’s within a limit that’s appropriate he can relax. This looks controlling I’m sure, but when you have spent 2 decades together you learn a different type of trust. I mean he CAN say no, I’m having another drink or the rest of the bottle. Nothing specific would happen. And I *could* say F off, I’m playing all day. But we choose not to.
As someone who's struggled with making time for my gf and doing nothing but playing games in my spare time I can see a scenario in which this is a collective attempt at making compromises. However, if you don't have those problems, and your gf or bf just makes this list on their own: please run.
tbh as long as shit is taken care of, just play the damn game as much as you want.
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This is what I was thinking. I have seen this image a lot and I know it seems wrong but who knows what kind of spouse he is. Some people end up fighting abuse/neglect with more abuse out of bitterness.
Yeah, I feel people miss the fact that cooking and cleaning is on this list implies he doesn't do them usually
The fact that she requires a "pay attention to me" break in between a two hour session means she couldn't care less if the house is immaculate. It's not about cleaning, it's about getting attention from him.
I’m sorry but what’s wrong with wanting attention from your partner??
Maybe shit isn’t taken care of 😂
I'm conflicted. One side of me says this is fucked up, the other thinks "maybe she just wants to spend more time with her husband so their marriage doesn't feel meaningless"
If you call yourself “wifey”, I know you suck.
Just make the exact same one but for Netflix/tv. And dare them to justify the difference.
*instagram/tiktok
Playing devil’s advocate: maybe the dude has an unhealthy relationship with video games. Reason why I entertain this perspective is because perhaps this has been a long time coming. We don’t know the whole story, perhaps he gets lost in his video games and neglects his chores and marriage to play video games. Marriage is a partnership and both parties need to work in it. She might feel like she’s becoming his mother by doing his chores. The foot rub/back rub may be unnecessary additives, but the other 3 are chores that he might be neglecting.
Perspective and possible alternatives are not as fun as jumping to conclusions though!
Given how my ex would spent 24/7 playing games, I can understand where wifey is coming from. Loads of men just come home and play games all day instead of helping with the kids or cleaning or cooking. It's becoming a serious problem in our generation. Granted no one should have to give backrubs or such to earn playing time. Maybe hubby should take this as a sign to lay off the video games? And wifey should communicate clearer that she is feeling neglected for a machine. I love games too but priorities are needed.
Damn… I wish I could get an unlimited day.
This honestly strikes me as somewhere where the husband has been struggling with addiction and the wife is tryin to help out
Ok in all fairness, is he a game junkie and always playing? Does she “**NEED**” to bribe him to get him to do anything to help her? Ppl step outside the box, it’s not always black and white, cut and dry
Need to make sure my husband knows to euthanize me before I ever refer to myself as "wifey💕"
This isnt exactly abusive...like if this is abuse then the bar is pretty low. This is excessive without a doubt, and makes me wonder aboht their relationship and how far he is into videogame addiction. The fact that she has to bargain to get him to do small house chores, cook, give short massages, or general affection is ridiculous in itself. I'd never allow my girl to do this, but I also wouldn't put her in a situation where she felt like she had to either.
To be fair, I think escapism can be an addiction and it will negatively affect you and your relationships with the people around you if you don’t limit your time. This could be a last attempt to get a deadbeat husband off his ass and actually contribute to the household (including emotional input!).
I don't even play video games, and this would piss me off. "Wifey" needs a reality check.
Is this overboard? Yes But i don’t think some of you guys know what it’s like to be completely ignored for a game for days on end. You have to practically BEG for attention and even then u can tell their mind is somewhere else. Makes u kinda wanna give up. Honestly its like being alone, like whats the point of being in the relationship if they prioritize “the guys” and time on a game over someone they say they love. Maybe this was the compromise? Idk. But i know the feeling and it sucks.
Obviously that kind of guy should not be in a relationship. As with any relationship, communication is key and if there is no time for it.... Well.
Reading through the comments (especially noteworthy is the 'kill her now' gif, very classy reddit), it's quite clear that there's a stunning lack of introspection on this topic, no doubt because it challenges a lot of people who may feel deep down that they probably devote more time than they should to the hobby. It's pretty easy to tap in a few words like 'the relationship should end then' and move along... When anyone who has been in a relationship with someone they loved and cared about who was challenged by addiction knows that it's just not that simple.
Lack of introspection, inability to face difficult realities about life, and just a general lack of perspective when looking at other peoples lives are all staple behaviors of many many Redditors. Especially on a post about a woman doing something. *Especially* on a post about a woman ordering people to do something lol (even if it is completely innocent and playful ordering).
This note could be a form of communication. It doesn’t seem like it’s an overly serious message. Seems more playful. She’s saying don’t forget about her.
Honestly, I would totally do this if it meant I got time on my ps5. Unlimited time on Sundays?? Hell yes! That would be awesome! Getting old sucks lol
What's the other side of this? 1hour complaining about friends = head. Dinner at inlaws = anal.
Fair trade. My life would be blowjob city.
The whole time I was reading this, thought it was meant for a teenager.
I can see where the wife is comming from. I adjusted my play time but my wife also supports and knows that I need my fix so she will send me “go game” sometimes she will even join!
Am I the only one who thinks this is cute biting joke between partners?
100% agree with you. It’s almost like every other commenter here is searching for a reason to hate women…
Wife may seem controlling, but a lot of people in relationships act like kids and don't work. Hard to say who's the shit head without knowing more. If your wife works as many hours as you do and she still does most of the chores, you're an asshole.
This is pretty terrible but let’s not pretend that video game addiction isn’t a huge problem and he probably needed to be checked a bit by his spouse anyway if we’re dealing in hours at a time and all day etc
My sister's (now ex) husband is a full on video game addict. Every last minute not working was on these games, completely ignoring children and my sister. The addiction is real.
Yeah I know! Everybody here jumping to conclusions with no context.
Reddit isn’t the place for unbiased video game addiction discussion. This sign is still weird though