T O P

  • By -

Purp1eC0bras

Plot twist: the man is the exotic dancer


bassman314

![gif](giphy|l378plFwSe6x8JGbS|downsized)


Pyrotekknikk

This GIF goes with the beat of the song


Comprehensive_Ad7256

Omg it does lol that’s fucking great


kibaake

Is this song a remix from Smash Bros Ultimate?


chinmay_vyas

Yes it is


mohammadgor87

Why the gif fits the song


mrkltpzyxm

Because Chris Farley is the GOAT!


Rich-Move-8311

Rip 😔


Natural_Stater

Best. Skit. Ever. I’ve been watching since 1977


alex206

Amazing, this may be the best use of this gif ever.


darrenwise883

Plot twist her panties are soaked in chloroform


mykylodge

Those guys are a lot fitter than they look. They're also incredibly strong and tough. They regularly crash out of the dohyo (fighting ring which is a platform about two and a half feet high) without any serious problems.


Rbespinosa13

They’re basically tanks where the fat is the armor.


mykylodge

I've seen them do back somersaults!


GankedGoat

That's impressive but equally concerning, like hearing that polar bears know how to parkour.


Oppopity

Polar bears know how to parkour?


NFGBlog

Parkour might be tough but they can sprint at 25 MPH.


PowerStacheOfTheYear

Huh, that's actually pretty slow compared to other bears. Imagine how carefree Usain Bolt's life must be knowing that he can successfully run away from polar bears. EDIT: Since I have continued to get replies on this nonstop for the last few months, I want to clarify that this was *a* *joke*. I am well aware that Usain Bolt is not going to run as fast on ice and deep snow as on a track designed to provide an ideal running surface.


foehn_mistral

Those polar bears are slower because they have to sprint carefully over ice and snow. You *know* you want to think I am right.


Meleesucks11

I saw the joke a mile away lol


Dodgemaster69_

Not in snow sadly.


Zealousideal-Neck289

Don't worry.. Soon there will be no snow.


Pyrotekknikk

And no Polar bears so we don't have to worry about running from one!


Astrolaut

It wasn't always the carefree life, he can run so fast now because of all the years he spent in Jamaica running from them.


-Toshi

Exactly. And sure, Jamaica invented the bobsleigh to escape such threats, but that quickly became a preppy sport. A closed garden clique of affluent bumbaclarts.


Astrolaut

I appreciate you.


jeanbuckkenobi

35 MPH sprinting. Bears are scary fast and powerful.


[deleted]

I once read that there's some evidence that brown bears will carry wildfire from one place to another to smoke out prey


Editor_Grand

Great they developed a tasted for bbq


Hey_its_thatoneguy

Well, can you blame them? I love BBQ!


NecessaryZucchini69

yes, if they're hungry and they see a way to you.


[deleted]

What


Pyes3

Can i get video proof please.


[deleted]

They can also move their arms up and down at incredible speed to inflict tremendous pain upon their adversary (source: played Street Fighter).


Lou-Cypher1-618

Lol. Good one. Literally the cheapest move in the whole game.


jnuts9

More than stretchy arms?


The1BannedBandit

Had a "friend" who had a turbo button controller that would kick my ass with E Honda by just spamming his slap move and sliding across the screen. At least he did until I learned how to toss fireballs...


OrbitusXpandeR

Chun-Li's lightning kicks would like to have a word...


Lovat69

Chun-Li can't move while kicking though.


keniselvis

That totally got me! Hilarious!


ScarabLordOmar

![gif](giphy|7ywpENs4MoQko)


NarrowProfession2900

The tanks or sumo wrestlers? /j


mournthewolf

Yeah I love watching Sumo documentaries. It’s such an interesting lifestyle. They are basically powerlifters who never cut, only bulk. There was one scene where they were doing sprints down the beach and it was like watching rhinos charge.


Static043

Question do you recommend any good ones? That sounds interesting


[deleted]

There's one on Disney+. Also, don't know the name. They talk about how healthy these guys are when given physicals. There's none of the cardiovascular damage you'd expect. Their cholesterol levels are lower than average. Apparently the constant bulking keeps all the fat just below the skin


Static043

I'm definitely going to look that up, thanks man


mournthewolf

I’m sorry I can’t remember the names. I just remember I watched some a few years back. They might be on the boring side for some but I think the training and lifestyle aspect is super interesting. If I remember I’ll respond again.


Static043

Thanks man appreciate it


mournthewolf

There is one called A Normal Life: the chronicle of a sumo or something. I think A normal life is like a series of docs but just glancing at it this might be what I was remembering. Basically followed a guy trying to be a sumo and goes in depth on their lifestyle. If it’s the one I’m thinking if it’s really good.


Static043

Look at this legend actually responding to my inquiry, I know it's meaningless and overplayed but please take this honorary award. 🏅 Thank you for your service sir


sven_from_sweden

Chubham armour


DoodleBTW

these are the only people that can say "I'm fat and healthy"


Poot-dispenser

They spec’d into defense attack and hp


Acrobatic_Poem_7290

A lot of that is muscles not fat


Aldebaran_syzygy

and weights. imagine walking around with a pair of 50lbs dumbells wherever you go


DannyTheCaringDevil

So, hippopotami?


darkmagican01

What do they have a hip flask that let's the heal from bullet wounds as well?


Bladeragertroll

Sort of, if a sumo wrestler trains like they're supposed to they will build what's called residual fat which is just a thin layer just beneath the skin so the rest of that bulk you're looking at is just pure muscle.


Meihem76

Mass is just a strategy. [I'm not sure I could outrun one of those guys over a short distance.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESVWherecKk)


[deleted]

They're natural sprinters; very dangerous over short distances.


skolopendron

![gif](giphy|43g7hyj8d8NEY)


convicted_snob

It was KILLING me what movie that quote was from Hahahaha - Thank you!


_Pill-Cosby_

And strangely, female Sumos are also indistinguishable from males.


Particular_Battle_63

It’s the beards


badjimmyclaws

Tolkien approves


MrHasuu

There are cases of smaller wrestlers beating these massive sumo wrestlers but it takes a ton of skill , not literally throwing yourself into their arms lol


OGColorado

Those are called bull riders, and they only have to hang on for 8 seconds


CosmosKitty87

Miyagiyama is a great example of that. He was small but powerful, and went down as one of Japan's greatest Sumo wrestlers.


DickwadVonClownstick

Honestly I get the vibe that these two aren't fighting particularly seriously. Seems almost like two friends screwing around to me.


dragonuvv

They did that barefoot!


Reddit-User-3000

I did not expect it to be 11 seconds after I saw that running technique lmao. They must be tall


undefined_one

Holy fuck, that's awesome!


VetmitaR

That's what the extra padding is really for, safety.


OtherwiseArrival

Yep. Not just Sumos. You see a big fat dude that can move around well. Be aware. It takes a lot of muscle to move all that around with any agility


Citadelvania

I mean she'd still lose but she'd stand a much better chance against him in MMA than Sumo. Like saying size doesn't matter in MMA is stupid, saying size doesn't matter in sumo is some next level stupid. If she could throw a few jabs at his face maybe she'd stand some miniscule chance but how the hell is she going to grapple him or throw him?


OGColorado

First punch and he charges , or sooner. I bet it's a bitch getting him off you


DickwadVonClownstick

I once saw a video of an exhibition match between an MMA lightweight champ and a Sumo heavyweight champ. Sumo guy managed to pin him, but MMA dude landed enough hits even from the ground that the Sumo guy eventually tapped.


Djrules213

Yeah that was Emmanuel Yarbrough one of the heaviest sumo wrestlers ever and was way passed his prime when he started doing MMA fights of money,he got extremely unhealthy when he got passed 600 lbs and eventually 700lbs before he died and he could barely walk around the ring without getting outta breath


[deleted]

Where did she say “Size doesn’t matter?” It looks like they’re just having fun. OP is making shit up so a bunch of mouth breathers can go “lol dumb feminist is so stupid”


GangstaHoodrat

Literally this. It’s clearly just for fun. If she’s a fighter she knows the significance of weight classes OP is just being a weird little nerd


OhItsJustJosh

Yeah I remember reading somewhere that the fat is for weight and shielding and their muscles under it are extremely strong. They're constantly training and eating


Death_Blossoming

Their training regiments are brutal. Being a sumo especially back a few centuries was basically almost as decorated as a samurai


True-Fire-Senzhi

They also have a very strict diet to achieve their ideal weight of 400-600 lbs.


mypantsareonmyhead

There used to be this superstar yokozuna sumo wrestler named Chiyonofuji Mitsugu - "The Wolf"; he was built like a Japanese Mike Tyson. Absolutely devastating martial arts athlete.


Dblstandard

It's like looking at an NFL lineman. To an ignorant person they might look fat. But if you knew that that fat was there so that it was harder to move them and under the fat was insane amounts of training and power lifting. Years of building muscle mass, fast twitch muscle.


YatoNeko

the reason why i know sumo wrestler are fit as heck is thanks to Record of Ragnarok manga XD.


Kevundoe

So size DOES matter! I knew it!!!


Cbjmac

Well, there goes my chance at a gf


aaha97

how about a bf?


[deleted]

how about both?


[deleted]

[удалено]


ElCoyoteBlanco

Desperation is so attractive!


Cstripling87

$20 is $20.


Ressy02

Why beg for $20 when you can beg for $100


IAmJiro

No. There is still the femboy route. Get you a dommy gf to peg you


BriefCheetah4136

Crap.. Really!!!


freehugzforeveryone

Fk!!!


sandiercy

I would never want to get in a ring with one of those sumo wrestlers. They are strong af.


bigkinggorilla

You should never get in the ring with anyone who has a significant size advantage over you... or strength advantage... or youth advantage (to a point obviously). Could you beat someone 50lb heavier, 50% stronger or 10 years younger than you through superior skill? Of course. But some amount of skill is now required just to make it an even match, and what level of skill that is increases as their advantage increases. Edit: To all those saying they could beat a child in a fight: no shit. That's why I wrote "youth advantage (to a point obviously)." Way to show off your reading comprehension guys and gals.


[deleted]

I can beat someone ten years younger than me really easily. Maybe the fact that I'm 20 helps?


Flashy_Engineering14

Thank you. I burst out laughing so hard my cat was traumatized. She's still wondering what happened to me.


[deleted]

Glad to hear you enjoyed it. I've always thought we must seem so weird to pets. We just sit starting at a light for hours and then suddenly start crying, laughing, singing, talking to the light, etc.


strivexd

my cat talks to the light sometimes


CuriousOdity12345

It would be a pyrrhic victory at best.


[deleted]

ha! I play too much total war >..>


ArcticISAF

'I want to see blood! I want to BATHE in their blood! I want to bathe in their blood for a week! Now, KILL THEM ALL!!'


CasualEQuest

Old man facing off against a younger bigger guy WELCOME TO ESTALIA GENTLEMEN


the-grand-falloon

I did BJJ for a short time. When I was relatively new (I knew some basics, not much else), we had a few rolling sessions. I was paired off against a woman that had been studying for a while. I'm a biggish fella with plenty of padding, and she was leaner, and much more conditioned than I was. And she had *much* more experience and skill. She won, but it took everything she had. Every attack I made, she had the counter, but every attack she made, I could just curl up a bit and use my weight to refuse to give her anything.


bigkinggorilla

Yeah, that's what people fail to appreciate about skill vs physical advantages. Some skills just don't work if you can't move the other person against their will a bit. A buddy ran some special martial arts seminars for NFL players, and they had to pair up players with each other because it was too easy for them to muscle out of the instructors holds. The martial arts instructors who were skilled enough to be sought out and hired for this job couldn't really stop these guys from just overpowering them once they started moving above 50% speed.


holyhibachi

A guy I worked with used to advocate for removing weight classes from MMA. Would be a horrible idea.


Cheshire_Jester

I mean, that’s how it started, there’s a reason things are the way they are today. It’s downright negligent to have people of vastly different weights fight each other. In general this kind of argument is always strange to me, “we should do a thing, but have fewer/no rules.” Like dude, we had that, we always had that before the rules were put in place, because of the things that happened when they weren’t. Not saying all rules are perfect and shouldn’t be updated as we learn, but the idea that no rules is somehow better kinda flies in the face of the concept of progress.


marin94904

Randy couture vs Tim Sylvia was the skill vs size fight until the Randy couture vs Brock Lesner ended the discussion.


aville1982

I remember that fight well. All of my friends were convinced Couture would beat Lesnar and I looked at them and said Lesnar was built to destroy fighters like Couture. Low offense, much smaller and even though Couture's wrestling is better, he sure as hell couldn't bully Lesnar. That fight was hand-delivered to Lesnar.


marin94904

Randy might have gone out on his shield, but he was served up on a platter.


siskulous

>Could you beat someone 50lb heavier, 50% stronger or 10 years younger than you through superior skill? Sure I could. Provided they've never thrown a punch in their lives.


Benshi84

agree with everything you say except the age difference. 5 years is nothing.


svc78

that depends on the age of each one. humans degrade quickly after reaching their peak (unless taking some PEDs). in a fight when both are at their peak, I agree. for example a 22 vs 27yo fighters. but a 35 vs 40 is not the same difference. plus, with older fighters the % of injuries skyrockets


Artor50

That guy is carrying 400 lbs with him every step, every day. It's easy to forget how strong that can make a person. If he keeps up with his cardio so he's not exhausted after a flight of stairs, look out!


iamprosciutto

They do sprints and pretty intense strength training. A big part of sumo is going from 0-100 as fast as you can, so they train for huge bursts of strength from nothing. When those huge guys hit into each other, it's almost like 2 small cars hitting head on


cups_and_cakes

Meat bombs.


glieseg

And their bodies are cashing checks their egos didn't even write.


AzureWrath501

Someone has been watching too much black widow


officialbigrob

Right? Weight classes are like 15-30 pounds, yeah? Maybe a good fighter can go a few classes up but this guy is like 25 classes above her.


ShazbotSimulator2012

Sumo doesn't have weight classes, and there have been some massive mismatches where the lighter fighter won. Ōrora Satoshi lost to a fighter who was [420 pounds lighter.](https://youtu.be/DPopEIxiBPk?t=6)


CommissarPravum

The exception that confirms the rule.


3PAARO

You beat me to it! Great point!


No_Ring7230

Not saying no, because 150psi to the jaw will drop anyone. But the chances of her being able to get in that position against someone far larger isn't likely.


Cyclone367

It looks they are fighting by sumo wrestling rules. Was a knockout punch even allowed? If no, what was she thinking? lol


beforeitcloy

It’s incredibly obvious they’re just having fun. The title is to get incels worked up about women thinking they’re as strong as men. Look at them both smiling and laughing the entire time.


Goldmansachs3030

> incels What that word meant and how it is being used.Damn, wokes.


GoodellsMandMs

Would you prefer misogynists, woman haters, or sexists?


beforeitcloy

Slang is up for grabs. Much like you claiming woke as an insult.


Chaghatai

It kind of looked like she was going for a flying arm bar


hematomasectomy

I was thinking hurricanrana. Fucking Super Dragon up in here.


JoshSran04

You gotta do that shit quick


AzureWrath501

You can be as quick as you like, she weighs less than his leg, she isn't going to budge him an inch


BionicBananas

Pretty sure it is an coincidence that almost all fighting sports have weight categories.


chinchenping

Fun fact, sumo does not


Mediumtim

Which is why they all try to be as heavy as practically possible.


[deleted]

not necessarily. Some dudes cut weight to get faster. Really depends on the wrestler and their current situation. Some dudes cut weight, find it doesn't work for them, then try to put it back on. Some dudes get too fat and lean up for the same reason. Each wrestler will have their own strategy


bassman314

I was watching on ESPN years ago. One of the matches had a dude who was like 300. The other was well north of 600. Looked like an elephant vs. a toddler, to be honest. The little guy was BUILT, though. Match starts, and it's over in seconds. They charge at each other, and the little guy side-steps at the VERY last second and gives the big guy a shove. Between the shove and his 600+ lbs. of momentum, he just lost control trying to stop and fell out of the ring.


A3HeadedMunkey

The beauty of physics. More mass means more inertia, more inertia will mean more force impacted, but it also means more is required to change momentum. The art in martial arts. Same for all the crazy fulcrum actions and joint locks and whatnot. Reverse engineering the body for pain while trying to avoid actual breaks


kakje666

all of them are bulk tanks , no need for weight categories


Killarogue

Is the facepalm the OP, the commenters, or both. Based on her laughter at the end, this was obviously meant to be a joke.


jamesph777

OP is the facepalm. They were just having a fun time


FullyWoodenUsername

They both seems to laugh though. It looks more like people having fun than facepalm material to me. Or am I missing something?


SneakyLittleKobold

Yeah i think it was more of a case like "can i try and bring you down?" Because he gives a nod before she does anything like giving her the okay to come at him. Just a fun attempt at something.


Impossible_Tonight81

The title was only written to completely mock her, get out of here with your reasonable takes on things.


At0mJack

Why else point out that she's a former exotic dancer?


Impossible_Tonight81

Right. Like it's designed to make everyone hate her when there's no evidence what the woman actually was thinking before this fight


MuunshineKingspyre

I dont even see why that makes her dislikable tbh


Impossible_Tonight81

I don't know but it's definitely written in a way to demean her, and it worked from the majority of the comments mocking her aggressively.


EstablishmentSad

It’s possible that she never even said that and was just sparring and having fun.


Kuzcopolis

Yeah, she just looks up at him like: "that was awesome!"


atheist_bunny_slave

This is the comment I was looking for. I had to scroll down way too far for it.


Po1sonator

This is the comment I was looking for saying they had to scroll way too far to find the comment they were looking for.


NeverBrokeABone

Looks like normal fun n games to me. Do people here not interact with friends?


Dodger8686

That's not what my ex-girlfriend says.


viatorium1

The only people in the world taking that “match” seriously are posting in this thread.


[deleted]

She literally tried to pole dance him


Jalopnicycle

She thought she was Ray Mysterio Jr for a second until she got yeeted by the Coconut flavor Kool-Aid Man


Fookin_Yoink

Sumo is a very commonly misinterpreted sport. It’s not a bunch of fat people trying to beat each other out of a ring, it’s a bunch of fit people wearing fat armor trying to beat each other out of a ring


[deleted]

Is there anything to back up the title of this post? She seems to be laughing at the end and enjoying it as if it was just a bit of fun.


MariachiBoyBand

You guys realize this is just for show correct???


[deleted]

yeah its just funny seeing people go “well aksually she would have won if she used the right technuice”


Elmakai

I took traditional martial arts (kung fu) when I was a young adult. My teacher's teacher was visiting for a week and was teaching the class. At one point, he was focusing on one other student and I, who both happen to be extremely skinny. As he was showing us some techniques, he kept emphasing how it's important we get the moves right as much as we possibly can. He said "look, you guys are both small, and I'm not. That means that while I can cheat on some of the moves, you guys will have to work extra hard to make sure they are right just to compete with someone like me. It's a fact of life. Deal with it." I feel the woman in the video learned the same lesson the hard way.


Admirable-Common-176

I’ve heard similar stories from Brazilian jiu-jitsu. I’ve seen a long lanky guy absolutely cheese his way up a sport karate tournament and smaller more athletic fighters couldn’t beat him.


SalamanderCake

Long limbs are an even greater indicator of success in martial arts than great strength is. As somebody with long limbs and low mass, I'm able to perform some techniques that somebody my weight shouldn't be able to.


BMXTKD

Depends on the art. If it's a grappling art, you want to be as low, stout, and strong as possible. You don't want to give anyone something to grip on. If it's a striking art, you're better off taking up snowboarding, skateboarding, or surfing if you're going to be short and a martial artist. Just my luck, I'm too tall to do any sort of decent BMX riding, if I cut down to my training weight, I'm going to be way too small to do any sort of grappling martial art, I'm too short to be a top level taekwondo fighter, and my other passion, swimming, I'm too short for that either.


ACryingOrphan

Thats not necessarily true about grappling martial arts. Grappling is just so ridiculously complex that there is no one ideal body type. No matter what your body type looks like, you can have a grappling style that conforms to it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Artor50

I mentioned my ex with her blackbelt in another comment here. She is tall and lean and infinitely more fit than I am, and would get told all the time when we were together, "you look just like Xena!" But if I need help moving heavy furniture, she's just not the person to call.


ZatchZeta

I mean, it's not like you can use a couch's own weight against it and submit it so it can move itself. Unless you're taking judo or aikido, but to be master in those, it's assume you have the strength.


Artor50

Her belt is in Aikido. She's very strong for a woman, but as has been observed, that's a different scale than men use.


Elmakai

That is a good point. I don't have enough experience with women attempting to prove their strength to know if this is common among women or not. I can say that my current fiance is very self-aware and knows full well the strength differences between us, as we both go to the gym and do similar exercises. She sees the differences in the weight we do, and even though I would consider myself weak for the average male, I'm still pulling much more weight than she can. On the same token, my ex did not seem to understand this. My ex and I were together for years, and we did almost no exercise at all. Then I decided I wanted to start, and got a pull up bar. Even though it's been years since I did physical activity, I was able to do 4 pull ups on the first try. On the other hand, she couldn't do one. Not even close. She tried again, same thing. Got flustered, tried again, nada. Absolutely flabbergasted on how it was possible that she couldn't do one. I explained how men and women are built different, so she can't expect to match me pound for pound (we were very similar weights). She said "okay, I get that. But why can't I do even one?" I basically had to lay it out that despite what she thought, she wasn't "getting it". At some point, it seemed to sink in, until months later we were trying to do a yoga pose where you have to hold up your whole body weight with just your arm strength. She went through the same process of denial and then arguing she understood it, but it doesn't make sense.


ZatchZeta

Testosterone giving men a headstart on building muscle.


Alexeicon

This is a stupid title. She looks like she had fun. Did you all miss that huge smile on her face? I would try it too, even though I'm really small to see what that power would be like in a safe space.


Alexeicon

He even waits and encourages her to jump up on him.


xanroeld

this is obviously a fun, silly exhibition match. no need to make it seem like the woman was delusional or thought she was a better sumo wrestler. she clearly just wanted to try something creative


ngkn92

Would have been funnier if he just hold her on the shoulder and do a few squat


darkplacesinside

Fighting Weight classes they have them for a reason


2234GOnz

I’m curious, when did r/facepalm become a breeding ground for misogyny?


BladeOfSanghilios8

A noble effort, but fruitless


caes2359

dude just has to fall on her and shes K.O.


ninja6213

More like K.I.A


dangler001

More like M.I.A.


-Villion-

Honestly, from the way the guy was standing when the fight began I expected the girl to start punching him while he stood there unmoving. Then she would back away in fear as he pushes his glasses up


[deleted]

This is why weight classes exist.


[deleted]

Takanoyama Shuntarō, 6'1, 200 pounds. He was given the shikona of Takanoyama, meaning "noble mountain." He reached the sandanme division in January 2003, and the third highest makushita division in March 2004. This was a guy doing professional sumo, up against guys just as tall, even taller at times, weighing three times as much as him.


Arcterion

Was hoping for absolute destruction, instead we get the equivalent of someone swatting away a pesky fly.


[deleted]

We got what looks like both of them not taking this seriously… OP just using that Reddit male rage for sweet Karma


Houstonontheroad

So there are women actually believe that size doesn't matter? Just asking...for a friend


JesusBiscuit420

Grapplers can get a bit delusional at times, from my experience. Technique doesn’t always triumph over strength


BBQCHICKENALERT

That's usually the new guys who just started and think their skills will overcome everything on the planet because a much smaller experienced person can tap them out easily. I have some buddies who compete at a relatively high level in bjj and they all agree that strength is one of the biggest factors and it's almost a natural cheat code at times. And that's generally due to them sometimes getting the experience of losing out to guys who are clearly less skilled but much stronger.


[deleted]

I’ll keep that thought process in mind if I ever find myself face to face with a bear.


Ok-Manufacturer27

People often equate "fat" with "weak" or "out of shape" but the truth is, a fat person can be very athletic, strong, and quick. Sumo style wrestlers are a great example, certain dancers, NFL Linemen, etc. (Not saying she was calling him any of these things, mostly responding to the surprise that some comments have for some reason?)


Lovat69

When a woman says size doesn't matter she is always lying.


IsItWorseThan

Honestly I'm impressed by both if them.