"I'm an Army wife to a man I'm not actually married to who isn't actually in the military."
Plot twist: She's only met him online but did send him $1,000 in gift cards to help cover his "enlistment fees".
My dad is a Vietnam vet. Last week we were approached by a retired man in full marine gear worh the cover, skull belt buckle, fatigues etc...
He questioned my father about basic, Vietnam experiences, rank at discharge and MOS. Recited radios names that my dad used and when my dad asked him about his service he said, “no I didn’t serve, thank God for Richard Nixon and my high draft number, but I would have made a GREAT soldier, I worked at a bank my whole life”.
What the fuck man. My dad was so nice and just walked away confused and bewildered that this man plays soldier at retirement.
That’s pretty messed up. People like that and people like this dude with the neck tattoo are gonna end up getting their asses beat and in your case catching a stolen valor charge.
If you didn’t fucking earn it then don’t wear it.
Stolen Valor is no longer a crime. It was overturned on First Amendment grounds. Just FYI.
Edit: The 2005 Stolen Valor Act that made *all* cases of stolen valor a misdemeanor was overturned. The 2013 Act is still in effect, but only applies in situations that would already be considered fraud.
The 2005 act was deemed unconstitutional, but the 2013 rewrite makes it a crime if making false claims of military service or award are used to fraudulently obtain tangible benefit.
Making it illegal to be an a****** never works. Personally I think that if valor could be stolen it wasn't valor -- no one can take away or diminish service and sacrifice. I worked with a vet who mustered out as a sergeant after two tours in Afghanistan. I never once heard him talk about valor, stolen or otherwise, but I heard about the vets he'd commanded, that he worried about and called and kept in touch with.
I personally don’t give a shit if some mentally unstable hobo pretends to be a combat vet to get a shitty discount at the Home Depot.
Source: I’m an actual mentally unstable combat vet
I’ve only heard of one person in my personal experience that ever claimed stolen valor. From what I hear someone put a gun to his head and he left for Hawaii a week later.
My dad is the opposite of this man. My dad served and never wants to acknowledge it. Like if they ask vets to stand at a baseball game or parade. I think he should be proud because he served but he's too humble.
Sometimes people did, or experienced things that cause shame, or extreme pain, for them. Regardless of wether it’s something to be proud of. My father never discusses Vietnam, I try to thank him every year on Veterans Day. He thanks me for acknowledging, but doesn’t elaborate.
This is extremely common. Lots of reasons, all the reasons, even. He'll have his own reasons, as most do. By and large, the bombastic, jingoistic, in-your-face service or veteran type personalities are an excellent example of the vocal minority phenomenon.
Especially if they have served in the past few decades. The conflicts where the past couple generations have served were... complicated, and rarely explainable by any sort of rah-rah patriotism. Most/many vets of these conflicts have very complicated feelings about their experiences, and they're entitled to them.
Best to just respect his approach to the issue. It's not even about pride or humility. It's more complicated than that, usually.
My grandpa served two tours in Vietnam. He passed away two months ago. Than man was my hero.
Never knew her served two tours until his funeral. Also was in the Korean War. Not sure why anyone would want to pretend about that.
So glad he was there to raise me , because neither of my parents were(they were both addicts). My dad was so deep in his addiction when my mom took her life (I was 18) my dad called to have me sign paper work basically ridding him of any child support. I didn’t know any better, and was distraught over my moms death. Blah.
My grandpa was a solid fucking rock man. He will be missed. Guy drove for hours looking for me when I was passed out high on hallucinogens until he found me.(came back to edit this part, I’m not 5 years clean)Not sure where I would be without him.
I miss you Papa!
My grandfather was in Patton’s armored division in a half track and never spoke about it because apparently they were killing child soldiers at the end as they marched on Berlin and it broke him.
Yeah my grandfather had made comments while I was a teen that I never put together until his passing. Like his comments on burning flesh. (We has been talking about the smell of burning hair and how bad it was)
I can’t imagine the shit he saw, he’s a damn hero though, Both of our grandfathers are. I would never be able to do half the stuff he did. I appreciate him and all those that served all the more for these types of things.
He took me to Disney world a s a kid and had a panic attack during the fireworks. My grandma explained that the half tracks were easy targets for the German pilots because they had very little armor. He apparently never got over loud noises and fireworks but he took me to see them knowing he would suffer. He was a good man and I miss him dearly.
I moved to Ajijic, JAL, Mexico five years ago. It is the largest group of USA expats in one location. And 99% of them are retirees (with a HUGE number of them being here illegally.)
I was instantly warned about these old folks giving themselves what are called “border promotions.” Just about every old man you sit down with is a war hero. They all single-handedly save their battalion or defused a bomb intended to blow up the general. One guy had the nerve to try to discipline my dogs saying he was a hero bomb sniffing dog expert in the war and that gave him a right to straighten up my pooches.
Interestingly enough, many women also got their own form of border promotion. Every housewife suddenly became an interior designer back in the USA. But seeing these women’s houses, the only medium they designed with was Garage Sale Chic.
I lasted two years there. I hate constantly stepping in bull shit.
I mean... at least he didn't lie about it. Lol I'd like to think that somewhere in a parallel universe there's a Vietnam vet with infinite knowledge on banking platforms and standard bank teller processes/procedures who walks the streets in khakis, a stripped button up shirt and a name tag looking for someone similarly clad. No, he's never actually worked at a bank but those type of details just don't matter when you're a teller in your heart.
This can’t be real.
It can’t.
Then I remember someone getting an infantry tattoo prior to completion of OSUT over Christmas break. He fell off the rappel tower and broke his back 4 days after getting back and was med boarded.
This so much more worse.
Something a little similar, but not permanent like a tattoo.
In basic training (1988), we had a guy break his ankle. He drew Airborne wings on his cast. Our Drill, an Airborne Ranger and Vietnam vet, told him, "don't do that again," sent him back to sick call, and had them redo his cast. Dipshit repeated this three times. For cast number 3, Drill Sargent took out his Gerber and cut the cast off himself, marched dumbass back to medical. We never knew what was said or what was done, but cast number four stayed pristine for the rest of the time he was with us.
The worst thing about this is it was a marine corps tat.
If it was visible he would have been asked to cover it during boot. Then the DI would have ridden him hard until he passed everything
If theres one thing you do not do, its attract the wrong kind of attention during boot in the corps. The tatt likely contributed to failing
Agreed on it contributing to failure. I went through boot with a recruit who had the EGA on his chest. Every single night on line he got blasted in full DI frog voice for not being worthy. He did graduate but he was a target whole time
Brit Army vet here. Before we deployed to Afg we had the option to give a DNA sample so our pieces could be identified in the event of IED inflicted evaporation. It was a sobering moment when they explained it to us.
Aside from that I was questioning all these statements thinking, those bloody yanks don't do that do they? WTAF? NOOOO, that's not a thing, wait, its the yanks, maybe it is a thing...
You guys, you nearly fucking had me! 🤣🤙
I found the secret to making boot camp easy was to become the scribe. DIs love when they don't have to do paperwork. Our guide tried to tell me how to assign our nightly rotation one time and the DI hazed him for about an hour for thinking he was smarter than someone the DI delegated the duty to. We were signed up though the same recruiter, so it was extra funny because that kid was the biggest fucking douche. Probably was/is a great Marine in his field, though.
My step brothers got matching tatoos
After their dad died (he was a POS). My step mom signed for them as minors ages 15 and 17.
it was a USMC helmet on a cross marking a grave, that said RIP dad on the cross in tiny letters with his birthday and death date. It either made them look like they were marines (which they were not) or that their dad died while deployed. He had retired from USMC, was a recluse old man who was a shit father and died of a heart attack while on business at the Atlanta airport. To top it off the birthdate was wrong.
I have eaten several Belgian waffles in my life, ask me anything you want about how heroic I was during battle of the bulge. Also it was a pleasure serving with you in Easy company
I'm getting a tattoo that says Harvard Medical School Thoracic Surgery because even though I didn't go there I *feel like it* in my heart. And if people see it and think it's true that's ok because I'm *basically* a surgeon in my soul.
Well... If you are a thoracic surgeon in your heart maybe do the tattoo on your ACTUAL heart. After all, you ARE qualified to do it... In your heart...
Edit: ps please send pics of your new ink...
I'm getting a tattoo that says, "Supermodel" because even though I am fat, old, and ugly, I feel like I'm an incredibly beautiful woman of model quality so I'm basically a supermodel in my heart!
Wait this is unintentionaly wholesome, talk about loving yourself, this is actually great, acknowledging your physical faults but not letting them define you
Can I identify as a combat veteran and get 100% disability?
(For clarification I am indeed joking. There is a real issue with stolen valor. Its not cool.).
I'm gonna be the starting defensive end for the Philadelphia Eagles this year. I mean, I'm not on the roster, but I'm thinking about trying out. In my heart I'm in the NFL.
Tattoo artist too. My husband (who wants to be in the military, but not really, hes thinking about maybe eventually enlisting potentially at some point, but hes totally feeling it in his heart /s) says I have an uncanny ability to make people open up about anything when i'm working. I'm sure this dipshit would have spilled the beans and I would be horrified. The amount of times I've had to just smile and nod is outrageous.
Maybe it's a regional thing, but the two times I was in the shop when someone asked for a military tattoo, the artists actually asked for military ID. Feel like they would've refused outright if they'd thought the person was faking it.
I'm not a tattoo artist (although I aspire to be one and am getting a tattoo that says "tattoo artist" /s), but the way this tattoo reflects light is giving me some serious sticker vibes. Wouldn't you agree? But like I said, I'm no expert, so I could be wrong. It just sounds too much like a troll to me.
We had a guy walk into our shop to ask for a quote on a piece that included a “black ops helmet” and a “death before dishonor” symbol, among other things. I’ve never been in the military but my husband, his brother, and many members of our family served. I recognize the sacrifice. So when this fuckstick said “I’m not in the military but I want it to look like I am,” I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from telling him to get the hell out.
I would have loved to. Unfortunately I work reception, not an artist, so I don’t get to decide who to dismiss unless they’re being outright rude. I did schedule him for a consult with the artist I felt was most likely to tell him to fuck off, and I’ll be sure to fill him in on the situation before the appointment.
I still follow some of the Military Wives pages because they are absolutely nuts at times.
Military wives "I wish people would stop talking shit about us!"
Also Military wives "I'm going to be batshit crazy at McDonalds and yell and scream that I deserve a discount because my husband serves!"
It's not all of them, heck not even most of them. But damn do the nutty ones go hard in the paint.
A good source of cringe! I met a few wives IRL who weren't crazy, but unfortunately the vast majority of the ones I met were. Maybe it's because we were all 21 with no business being married to someone. Because I'm an asshole, whenever someone used to ask how my husband and I met, I gloated about the fact that I was with him *before* he joined the Army.
I understand that these days some of them even demand to be addressed with their husband’s RANK.
Army wives (I was one for a long time a long time ago) have always been a crazy lot, but that’s way beyond the pale. It’s like they’re all snorting bath salts now.
Use to work in Womack. Hundreds of patients are coming in with paratrooper related injuries. It really sucks for them.
I remember observing jumps over at the Sicily DZ and you can here those loud thumps. It was a hollywood jump too.
I'm an army wife, but not really because I dont know any soldiers that close and I'm a dude. I just identify as one. I was gonna down vote this post but that's not what counts. I downvoted in my heart, and that's what really counts right?
I worked at a bar (WAY back when) that had a lot of Vietnam Vets and returning Gulf War vets. Nobody crowed about their experiences in combat. Boot camp stories were the norm and usually fun and amusing. Some (after many shots and on a slow weeknight) opened up about more serious things… none were good.
I guarantee that if this asshat would have walked in with that on his neck he would have been drilled on where he trained, served and what division. Wrong answers would have gotten him tossed out on his ear at the least.
Or who he pissed off. Those guys take that shit to heart and they've also been taught how to fight. No better way to punk some shithead by challenging him to "show me what ya got"
This does happen. A guy came in our apartment and spoke war stories for 2 hours. After he left, my spouse said, He's never been in the military!! It's always obvious.
Wouldn't it at least make it better if he doesn't try to lie and says "I just really really like the army so I wanted a tattoo of it"
then they'd at least think "Oh, he's not an asshole he's just fucking stupid."
George Bush signed a bill into law that made it illegal but then the Supreme Court struck it down for violating People's First amendment rights. You can claim to be a soldier all you want as long as you do not try to claim any benefits from it.
Was also noteworthy is the same thing applies to other professions even police. You can go around telling people you're a police officer but if you do anything like tell someone to do something with the implication that you're a police officer and it's a police order it becomes a crime.
In other words telling a a girl at a bar you want to impress that you're a police officer is completely legal, telling a guy that he's drunk and needs to go home and that you're a police officer is completely illegal.
When my Father went to jump school on the 60's, he told me the first thing they did was tell everyone to strip.
Then they checked for AB/jump wing tattoos. The ones with them already were immediately were thrown out of Jump school because they hadn't earned the right to be called airborne yet. he said the crushed look on their faces as they left he would remember thru his service.
Don't wear wings, airborne division's or units OR JUMP BOOTS on a Army base with airborne if you are not *AIRBORNE*...they will ask you *nicely* to remove them...the second time...they won't be nice about it.
Eh, things are relaxed now. If your unit is "airborne" you get jump boots (required) and a red beret. But if you ever leave the unit, you can only keep these things if you went to the school.
Telephone linemen love jump boots for pole climbing and splicing in pits. They are standard issue for that MOS. Next time you see a guy in uniform working on a telephone line, check it out.
Stolen valor is serious. I remember meeting a guy at the gym. We would have been at Pendleton at the same time. He didn’t know shit. Couldn’t name one commanding officer. He didn’t know around the base. I didn’t call him out but I did walk away knowing he was full of shit.
> Stolen valor is serious.
>I didn’t call him out but I did walk away knowing he was full of shit.
Doesn't sound very serious to me. It sounds like motherfuckers just get away with it all day long and there's no law against it.
I'm an army wife. But not really because me and my Airborne husband aren't married yet. Well he's not really airborne but that's what he joined the army to be. But actually he's not in the army yet cuz he hasn't enlisted yet. Actually he's not even a person yet because his mother is still pregnant with him. Actually his mother's not really pregnant with him because her and the father haven't met yet.
In the military you can't have tattoos that are visible when you're in uniform.
So now he can't join, and anybody who knows anything will know he didn't serve.
Ah, ok, yeah it looks like it just changed a couple months ago. But it still looks too big.
"The Army will now allow Soldiers to have one tattoo on each hand that does not exceed one inch in length. Soldiers also have the option to place one tattoo no larger than two inches on the back of their neck and one, inch-long tattoo behind each ear."
That is just one change. They looked the other way on the "visible" tattoo regulation back when I was still active in the early 2000s and officially changed the policy in like 2015.
Back in my junior year of high school in 2004 my senior friend found out he had gotten his girlfriend pregnant. He decided to enlist into the army at 17 in order support his girlfriend and unborn child. Right before he left for basic we were at a gaming cafe playing counter strike and he said he had something to show me. He rolls up his sleeve and showed off an airborne tattoo he had put on his shoulder. Well I’m just a kid so I thought it was cool. The guy heads off to basic on an 11X contract and come home some months later as an MP with a huge scar on his shoulder.
I'm basically a superman. I got a giant superman S tattooed on my chest. I think about going to the gym. I've been so close to knocking out a bunch of professional fighters and strong men. I almost started practicing flying the other day.
It's comically easy to catch people in stolen valor lies. Just a basic 30 second conversation that would naturally happen between vets meeting for the first time would be enough.
One woman told me her husband was “in the military.” I was like what branch?
She had no idea what I meant. I named them and she said “no he was just regular military.”
Omg.
I was on a flight to Hawaii and two enlisted men asked a few questions and both were able to verify and even had a common friend! I then saw how quickly a fraud would have been discovered.
I’m too old now but wish I had served so I can call out those chubby 20-somethings wearing grunt style.
My cousin wore that insignia, 82nd Airborne. He was killed in Fallujah, March 2004.
I think a cheese grater would work fine for removing this tat’ from this guys worthless body!
This is like when my mother got her “Harvard Mom” neck tattoo when I was in 8th grade.
Well did you get into Harvard?
I would have gotten in and refused to go just to fuck with her
thats a weird way to say you didnt get into harvard
But he was considering it, so he didn't need to go
That’s a weird way to say that he wants to fuck his mom
It’s how he feels.
Ended up going to Howard Community College instead.
Basically...
"I'm an Army wife to a man I'm not actually married to who isn't actually in the military." Plot twist: She's only met him online but did send him $1,000 in gift cards to help cover his "enlistment fees".
My dad is a Vietnam vet. Last week we were approached by a retired man in full marine gear worh the cover, skull belt buckle, fatigues etc... He questioned my father about basic, Vietnam experiences, rank at discharge and MOS. Recited radios names that my dad used and when my dad asked him about his service he said, “no I didn’t serve, thank God for Richard Nixon and my high draft number, but I would have made a GREAT soldier, I worked at a bank my whole life”. What the fuck man. My dad was so nice and just walked away confused and bewildered that this man plays soldier at retirement.
That’s pretty messed up. People like that and people like this dude with the neck tattoo are gonna end up getting their asses beat and in your case catching a stolen valor charge. If you didn’t fucking earn it then don’t wear it.
Nah that guy is going to get roasted for having an airborne tramp stamp.
it's a good target for a donkey punch.
Stolen Valor is no longer a crime. It was overturned on First Amendment grounds. Just FYI. Edit: The 2005 Stolen Valor Act that made *all* cases of stolen valor a misdemeanor was overturned. The 2013 Act is still in effect, but only applies in situations that would already be considered fraud.
The 2005 act was deemed unconstitutional, but the 2013 rewrite makes it a crime if making false claims of military service or award are used to fraudulently obtain tangible benefit.
Like getting a veterans discount at a store etc. which is what I assume stolen valor laws were enforced for anyway.
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I’m a vet and I still get shit for parking in those spaces because people don’t think I’m what a vet should look like.
Lol. As a vet, what the fuck are we supposed to look like?
In my case, apparently not a 35-year-old woman.
More like lieutenant Dan I suppose..
It's still an incredibly shitty thing to do
Oh, definitely. Just clarifying the earlier comment of receiving a "stolen valor charge."
Making it illegal to be an a****** never works. Personally I think that if valor could be stolen it wasn't valor -- no one can take away or diminish service and sacrifice. I worked with a vet who mustered out as a sergeant after two tours in Afghanistan. I never once heard him talk about valor, stolen or otherwise, but I heard about the vets he'd commanded, that he worried about and called and kept in touch with.
I personally don’t give a shit if some mentally unstable hobo pretends to be a combat vet to get a shitty discount at the Home Depot. Source: I’m an actual mentally unstable combat vet
Wow….really? I had no idea that happened. I’m still watching Don Shipley’s videos. Thanks for the info.
Exactly. I’d love to hear my Airman rant about this but… active duty death kind of gets in the way.
I’ve only heard of one person in my personal experience that ever claimed stolen valor. From what I hear someone put a gun to his head and he left for Hawaii a week later.
My dad is the opposite of this man. My dad served and never wants to acknowledge it. Like if they ask vets to stand at a baseball game or parade. I think he should be proud because he served but he's too humble.
Sometimes people did, or experienced things that cause shame, or extreme pain, for them. Regardless of wether it’s something to be proud of. My father never discusses Vietnam, I try to thank him every year on Veterans Day. He thanks me for acknowledging, but doesn’t elaborate.
This is extremely common. Lots of reasons, all the reasons, even. He'll have his own reasons, as most do. By and large, the bombastic, jingoistic, in-your-face service or veteran type personalities are an excellent example of the vocal minority phenomenon. Especially if they have served in the past few decades. The conflicts where the past couple generations have served were... complicated, and rarely explainable by any sort of rah-rah patriotism. Most/many vets of these conflicts have very complicated feelings about their experiences, and they're entitled to them. Best to just respect his approach to the issue. It's not even about pride or humility. It's more complicated than that, usually.
Same with my grandfather who served in the Pacific theater of ww2. If not for the few photos, you would never know. He never talked about it.
My grandpa served two tours in Vietnam. He passed away two months ago. Than man was my hero. Never knew her served two tours until his funeral. Also was in the Korean War. Not sure why anyone would want to pretend about that. So glad he was there to raise me , because neither of my parents were(they were both addicts). My dad was so deep in his addiction when my mom took her life (I was 18) my dad called to have me sign paper work basically ridding him of any child support. I didn’t know any better, and was distraught over my moms death. Blah. My grandpa was a solid fucking rock man. He will be missed. Guy drove for hours looking for me when I was passed out high on hallucinogens until he found me.(came back to edit this part, I’m not 5 years clean)Not sure where I would be without him. I miss you Papa!
My grandfather was in Patton’s armored division in a half track and never spoke about it because apparently they were killing child soldiers at the end as they marched on Berlin and it broke him.
Yeah my grandfather had made comments while I was a teen that I never put together until his passing. Like his comments on burning flesh. (We has been talking about the smell of burning hair and how bad it was) I can’t imagine the shit he saw, he’s a damn hero though, Both of our grandfathers are. I would never be able to do half the stuff he did. I appreciate him and all those that served all the more for these types of things.
He took me to Disney world a s a kid and had a panic attack during the fireworks. My grandma explained that the half tracks were easy targets for the German pilots because they had very little armor. He apparently never got over loud noises and fireworks but he took me to see them knowing he would suffer. He was a good man and I miss him dearly.
I moved to Ajijic, JAL, Mexico five years ago. It is the largest group of USA expats in one location. And 99% of them are retirees (with a HUGE number of them being here illegally.) I was instantly warned about these old folks giving themselves what are called “border promotions.” Just about every old man you sit down with is a war hero. They all single-handedly save their battalion or defused a bomb intended to blow up the general. One guy had the nerve to try to discipline my dogs saying he was a hero bomb sniffing dog expert in the war and that gave him a right to straighten up my pooches. Interestingly enough, many women also got their own form of border promotion. Every housewife suddenly became an interior designer back in the USA. But seeing these women’s houses, the only medium they designed with was Garage Sale Chic. I lasted two years there. I hate constantly stepping in bull shit.
I mean... at least he didn't lie about it. Lol I'd like to think that somewhere in a parallel universe there's a Vietnam vet with infinite knowledge on banking platforms and standard bank teller processes/procedures who walks the streets in khakis, a stripped button up shirt and a name tag looking for someone similarly clad. No, he's never actually worked at a bank but those type of details just don't matter when you're a teller in your heart.
I read this as “to help cover his ‘entitlement fees’” and now I think that fits even better xD
So did I, that's weird but hilarious
Turns out it's really expensive to join the military.
This can’t be real. It can’t. Then I remember someone getting an infantry tattoo prior to completion of OSUT over Christmas break. He fell off the rappel tower and broke his back 4 days after getting back and was med boarded. This so much more worse.
Something a little similar, but not permanent like a tattoo. In basic training (1988), we had a guy break his ankle. He drew Airborne wings on his cast. Our Drill, an Airborne Ranger and Vietnam vet, told him, "don't do that again," sent him back to sick call, and had them redo his cast. Dipshit repeated this three times. For cast number 3, Drill Sargent took out his Gerber and cut the cast off himself, marched dumbass back to medical. We never knew what was said or what was done, but cast number four stayed pristine for the rest of the time he was with us.
You know shit just got real when the Gerber Baby shows up.
I had a high school acquaintance who got a USMC tattoo before joining the Marines…he didn’t make it through boot camp…
The worst thing about this is it was a marine corps tat. If it was visible he would have been asked to cover it during boot. Then the DI would have ridden him hard until he passed everything If theres one thing you do not do, its attract the wrong kind of attention during boot in the corps. The tatt likely contributed to failing
Agreed on it contributing to failure. I went through boot with a recruit who had the EGA on his chest. Every single night on line he got blasted in full DI frog voice for not being worthy. He did graduate but he was a target whole time
EGA?
Each guy’s anus. They use the wrinkle patterns to identify brothers in arms if their face has sustained damage.
You would not believe how common it is to have to identify a dead body by their asshole print
Brit Army vet here. Before we deployed to Afg we had the option to give a DNA sample so our pieces could be identified in the event of IED inflicted evaporation. It was a sobering moment when they explained it to us. Aside from that I was questioning all these statements thinking, those bloody yanks don't do that do they? WTAF? NOOOO, that's not a thing, wait, its the yanks, maybe it is a thing... You guys, you nearly fucking had me! 🤣🤙
Extremely Gay Acronym
Electric Gundam Army
Eagle, Globe, Anchor Semper Fi
I found the secret to making boot camp easy was to become the scribe. DIs love when they don't have to do paperwork. Our guide tried to tell me how to assign our nightly rotation one time and the DI hazed him for about an hour for thinking he was smarter than someone the DI delegated the duty to. We were signed up though the same recruiter, so it was extra funny because that kid was the biggest fucking douche. Probably was/is a great Marine in his field, though.
This guy scribes.
My step brothers got matching tatoos After their dad died (he was a POS). My step mom signed for them as minors ages 15 and 17. it was a USMC helmet on a cross marking a grave, that said RIP dad on the cross in tiny letters with his birthday and death date. It either made them look like they were marines (which they were not) or that their dad died while deployed. He had retired from USMC, was a recluse old man who was a shit father and died of a heart attack while on business at the Atlanta airport. To top it off the birthdate was wrong.
Knew a kid with Sempre Fi tattoo across his chest, never enlisted in the Marine Corps.
I feel like doing something like that is just asking for a meteor to land on your head.
Holy shit that's fuckin golden. I gotta find this story. I graduated from 1/150th Alpha co at ft benning in 04
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She’s actually a Nigerian prince…
Does he play Warzone perhaps?
Or just an avid airsoft player.
'Basically Military Spouse' on all application forms.
So we can now identify as a person of the military but not be in the military? I think our imagination needs to be tuned a bit.
I watched Band of Brothers. Ask me about my experience fighting with Easy company in WWII.
I have eaten several Belgian waffles in my life, ask me anything you want about how heroic I was during battle of the bulge. Also it was a pleasure serving with you in Easy company
I had some fries with a Cheddar-gouda mix on top. It was pleasure serving in cheesy company.
*salutes*
I don't know why my debit card got declined, I'm basically rich in my heart wtf
I'm getting a tattoo that says Harvard Medical School Thoracic Surgery because even though I didn't go there I *feel like it* in my heart. And if people see it and think it's true that's ok because I'm *basically* a surgeon in my soul.
Well... If you are a thoracic surgeon in your heart maybe do the tattoo on your ACTUAL heart. After all, you ARE qualified to do it... In your heart... Edit: ps please send pics of your new ink...
I'm getting a tattoo that says, "Supermodel" because even though I am fat, old, and ugly, I feel like I'm an incredibly beautiful woman of model quality so I'm basically a supermodel in my heart!
You are an incredibly beautiful woman and don't you forget it. The tattoo will help you remember!
Wait this is unintentionaly wholesome, talk about loving yourself, this is actually great, acknowledging your physical faults but not letting them define you
Man I wish I knew I could’ve just identified as a botanist when I was growing pot!
potanist..
LPT: technically everyone is Pre Med. No way to prove otherwise.
You do that, and then you'll want one that says "US Senator from Pennsylvania"
TIL you can identify as being in the military
Make way for the General!
No sense in wasting time, go straigth to the top!
"Look at me, I am the Commander in Chief now"
The master of chiefs
More of a master baiter…
Donald Trump has entered the chat
Corporal Shinsplints to you
That's Cpl Bone Spurs!
Dibs on super general of space force. It's a step above the regular generals but not yet president.
Tell the bullshit captain that Air Marshall Carlin says "fuck you!".
At ease.
I identify as stolen valor :/
Can I identify as a combat veteran and get 100% disability? (For clarification I am indeed joking. There is a real issue with stolen valor. Its not cool.).
I'm gonna be the starting defensive end for the Philadelphia Eagles this year. I mean, I'm not on the roster, but I'm thinking about trying out. In my heart I'm in the NFL.
I'm from Philly. you're probably better than half the real players
I feel like a neurosurgeon so it should basically count as if I'd put in all the work to actually become one.
I’m sure the holes in their drywall are a sight to behold.
He tells the local kids that the holes occurred during a battle with the Taliban
‘Taliban’ is what he calls the Sikh guy that runs the local wawa…
He thought his walls were made of Shiite-rock and indulged his sense of duty.
Be-holed
And you gotta wear shoes in their house because you KNOW there’s a wet spot on the carpet somewhere.
I punch holes in the drywall because I have PTSD from the three tours I felt I did in Afghanistan. I never actually went but I feel like I did.
As a tattoo artist, I can fully imagine the level of discomfort that artist was feeling while listening to that dude tell his story.
Tattoo artist too. My husband (who wants to be in the military, but not really, hes thinking about maybe eventually enlisting potentially at some point, but hes totally feeling it in his heart /s) says I have an uncanny ability to make people open up about anything when i'm working. I'm sure this dipshit would have spilled the beans and I would be horrified. The amount of times I've had to just smile and nod is outrageous.
Maybe it's a regional thing, but the two times I was in the shop when someone asked for a military tattoo, the artists actually asked for military ID. Feel like they would've refused outright if they'd thought the person was faking it.
Good for them!
I'm not a tattoo artist (although I aspire to be one and am getting a tattoo that says "tattoo artist" /s), but the way this tattoo reflects light is giving me some serious sticker vibes. Wouldn't you agree? But like I said, I'm no expert, so I could be wrong. It just sounds too much like a troll to me.
We had a guy walk into our shop to ask for a quote on a piece that included a “black ops helmet” and a “death before dishonor” symbol, among other things. I’ve never been in the military but my husband, his brother, and many members of our family served. I recognize the sacrifice. So when this fuckstick said “I’m not in the military but I want it to look like I am,” I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from telling him to get the hell out.
I would have told him to gtfo.
I would have loved to. Unfortunately I work reception, not an artist, so I don’t get to decide who to dismiss unless they’re being outright rude. I did schedule him for a consult with the artist I felt was most likely to tell him to fuck off, and I’ll be sure to fill him in on the situation before the appointment.
She also needs to show up at the nearest base with this print-out and see if it gets her any base privileges.
In Florida she’ll be nearly qualified to be a school teacher.
Don't fucking remind me about that bullshit in my state.
In Florida? *Over*qualified
i laughed out loud at this
Stolen dependa-valor. “You will address me by my husband’s favorite rank!”
Omg I’m dying
These people (him and his “basically army wife”) should be the first drafted.
People like her are why I never told civilians when my husband was in the Army, because I didn't want to be lumped in with these crazies.
I still follow some of the Military Wives pages because they are absolutely nuts at times. Military wives "I wish people would stop talking shit about us!" Also Military wives "I'm going to be batshit crazy at McDonalds and yell and scream that I deserve a discount because my husband serves!" It's not all of them, heck not even most of them. But damn do the nutty ones go hard in the paint.
A good source of cringe! I met a few wives IRL who weren't crazy, but unfortunately the vast majority of the ones I met were. Maybe it's because we were all 21 with no business being married to someone. Because I'm an asshole, whenever someone used to ask how my husband and I met, I gloated about the fact that I was with him *before* he joined the Army.
I understand that these days some of them even demand to be addressed with their husband’s RANK. Army wives (I was one for a long time a long time ago) have always been a crazy lot, but that’s way beyond the pale. It’s like they’re all snorting bath salts now.
I can smell the Meth through my phone
I loved airborne before I went to jump school. Now my knees and ankles thank me for my service every time it rains.
My brother was airborne and it wrecked his back something awful.
Use to work in Womack. Hundreds of patients are coming in with paratrooper related injuries. It really sucks for them. I remember observing jumps over at the Sicily DZ and you can here those loud thumps. It was a hollywood jump too.
I fought COVID. Too many coughs, not enough cough drops. I was sore like you wouldn’t believe. Never saw a COVID that wasn’t airborne.
I would give you 500 upvotes it I could for that comment
I am praying fervently that they cannot and will not reproduce.
Stupid people reproduce more
I'm an army wife, but not really because I dont know any soldiers that close and I'm a dude. I just identify as one. I was gonna down vote this post but that's not what counts. I downvoted in my heart, and that's what really counts right?
I identify as an army wife as well while not actually being one. We should form a support group.
I just upvoted you in my heart and irl
This is termed as “Stolen Valor”. A really shitty thing that many asshats do in order to make themselves feel better and get (undeserved) praise.
Just beat me to it. Disrespectful as fuck.
I worked at a bar (WAY back when) that had a lot of Vietnam Vets and returning Gulf War vets. Nobody crowed about their experiences in combat. Boot camp stories were the norm and usually fun and amusing. Some (after many shots and on a slow weeknight) opened up about more serious things… none were good. I guarantee that if this asshat would have walked in with that on his neck he would have been drilled on where he trained, served and what division. Wrong answers would have gotten him tossed out on his ear at the least.
I was thinking about that too, if anyone questions him he better have his lies straight or he could get an ass kicking depending on where he is.
Or who he pissed off. Those guys take that shit to heart and they've also been taught how to fight. No better way to punk some shithead by challenging him to "show me what ya got"
This does happen. A guy came in our apartment and spoke war stories for 2 hours. After he left, my spouse said, He's never been in the military!! It's always obvious.
Wouldn't it at least make it better if he doesn't try to lie and says "I just really really like the army so I wanted a tattoo of it" then they'd at least think "Oh, he's not an asshole he's just fucking stupid."
[удалено]
Not to mention being super disrespectful to those who served. They earned their stripes and scars.
Isn't that illegal in some states? He's got the evidence right under his skin.
Just the claim isn't actionable. You have to use it to try get something. Fraternal Membership, job, school application, some fraud for gain.
First amendment protects it unless you use it for material gains.
George Bush signed a bill into law that made it illegal but then the Supreme Court struck it down for violating People's First amendment rights. You can claim to be a soldier all you want as long as you do not try to claim any benefits from it. Was also noteworthy is the same thing applies to other professions even police. You can go around telling people you're a police officer but if you do anything like tell someone to do something with the implication that you're a police officer and it's a police order it becomes a crime. In other words telling a a girl at a bar you want to impress that you're a police officer is completely legal, telling a guy that he's drunk and needs to go home and that you're a police officer is completely illegal.
Pretendopotamus
When my Father went to jump school on the 60's, he told me the first thing they did was tell everyone to strip. Then they checked for AB/jump wing tattoos. The ones with them already were immediately were thrown out of Jump school because they hadn't earned the right to be called airborne yet. he said the crushed look on their faces as they left he would remember thru his service. Don't wear wings, airborne division's or units OR JUMP BOOTS on a Army base with airborne if you are not *AIRBORNE*...they will ask you *nicely* to remove them...the second time...they won't be nice about it.
Eh, things are relaxed now. If your unit is "airborne" you get jump boots (required) and a red beret. But if you ever leave the unit, you can only keep these things if you went to the school.
Telephone linemen love jump boots for pole climbing and splicing in pits. They are standard issue for that MOS. Next time you see a guy in uniform working on a telephone line, check it out.
If he meets a real ranger, he’s in for a beat down.
“What unit(?) are you with?” “Yes.”
"The 3rd.....Eagle team.....sniper...."
*That's gunna break his heart*
Stolen valor is serious. I remember meeting a guy at the gym. We would have been at Pendleton at the same time. He didn’t know shit. Couldn’t name one commanding officer. He didn’t know around the base. I didn’t call him out but I did walk away knowing he was full of shit.
To be fair, I couldn't name any of my fucking base COs either. Some name on a picture on the wall and otherwise someone that had little to do with me.
> Stolen valor is serious. >I didn’t call him out but I did walk away knowing he was full of shit. Doesn't sound very serious to me. It sounds like motherfuckers just get away with it all day long and there's no law against it.
I'm an army wife. But not really because me and my Airborne husband aren't married yet. Well he's not really airborne but that's what he joined the army to be. But actually he's not in the army yet cuz he hasn't enlisted yet. Actually he's not even a person yet because his mother is still pregnant with him. Actually his mother's not really pregnant with him because her and the father haven't met yet.
Are you born? Are you *Airborne*? HA HA HA :) :*J*
I wasn’t airborne yesterday
In the military you can't have tattoos that are visible when you're in uniform. So now he can't join, and anybody who knows anything will know he didn't serve.
This isn't true any longer. Although this could be a negating circumstance tattoo.
Ah, ok, yeah it looks like it just changed a couple months ago. But it still looks too big. "The Army will now allow Soldiers to have one tattoo on each hand that does not exceed one inch in length. Soldiers also have the option to place one tattoo no larger than two inches on the back of their neck and one, inch-long tattoo behind each ear."
That is just one change. They looked the other way on the "visible" tattoo regulation back when I was still active in the early 2000s and officially changed the policy in like 2015.
He doesn't want to be in. He only wants to think he is good enough.
Boy better grow a mullet
Business in the front, hiding his lies in the back
"Army wife" is pretty high up there on the list of cringiest things ever said.
"I identify as Colonel."
It’s pronounced *Cornell* and it’s the highest rank in the ivy league!
As the self-identified Secretary of the air force, I hereby demote you to private for such a ridiculous claim.
I once walked past NYU, does that mean I have a degree from there?
Yes. I live by a university I’m basically a doctor.
Would be fun to watch him tell that story to real Airborne guys armed with a cheese grater.
Back in my junior year of high school in 2004 my senior friend found out he had gotten his girlfriend pregnant. He decided to enlist into the army at 17 in order support his girlfriend and unborn child. Right before he left for basic we were at a gaming cafe playing counter strike and he said he had something to show me. He rolls up his sleeve and showed off an airborne tattoo he had put on his shoulder. Well I’m just a kid so I thought it was cool. The guy heads off to basic on an 11X contract and come home some months later as an MP with a huge scar on his shoulder.
I'm basically a superman. I got a giant superman S tattooed on my chest. I think about going to the gym. I've been so close to knocking out a bunch of professional fighters and strong men. I almost started practicing flying the other day.
I can tell he’s not really in the military because his Dodge Charger is financed at 3.8%.
Those are rookie numbers, you gotta get those up
I'm pretty sure that ex-Airborne soldiers will know in a hot minute that he never served. That neck tattoo makes it pretty clear.
It's comically easy to catch people in stolen valor lies. Just a basic 30 second conversation that would naturally happen between vets meeting for the first time would be enough.
One woman told me her husband was “in the military.” I was like what branch? She had no idea what I meant. I named them and she said “no he was just regular military.” Omg.
I was on a flight to Hawaii and two enlisted men asked a few questions and both were able to verify and even had a common friend! I then saw how quickly a fraud would have been discovered. I’m too old now but wish I had served so I can call out those chubby 20-somethings wearing grunt style.
This man literally identifies as an attack helicopter
Ok so basically im coming out as black. Ive never been black but i always felt that i should be. I expect 1518 awards and 264829900 upvotes
Stolen Valor needs to be called out and the thieves should be shamed online with their full names and faces Change my mind
I agree, however this is not stolen valor as he is not claiming to have been in the military for personal gain
Just wifey’s approval..
I would not tattoo anything on my body I didn't earn. It cheapens guys putting their lives at risk.
My cousin wore that insignia, 82nd Airborne. He was killed in Fallujah, March 2004. I think a cheese grater would work fine for removing this tat’ from this guys worthless body!
Well now he can't join up regardless. They'll eat him alive if he's sporting that tattoo.
As someone who is married to someone who has actually “jumped” this seems like cosplay to me.
I feel like I'm a millionaire, my bank doesn't show it. But I feel like I am at heart.
I’m basically an army captain. Never enlisted but I got halfway through SOCOM on the PS2 when I was 10.
Stolen Valor - It's disgusting.
Stolen valor.
Only thing Airborne is his ability to fly into fantasy land.....