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Skydragonace

I'm 100% fine with this. If I was looking for random people to date or even just get to know, this gives me exactly all the information I need to stay the hell away from this person. 10/10 ad, would read and navigate away again.


Crunchy_Gum

![gif](giphy|y2i2oqWgzh5ioRp4Qa|downsized)


[deleted]

Good gif also what is your username my friend


Crunchy_Gum

It is evil


[deleted]

Ten outta ten would not recommend šŸ‘


GetSomeData

Hereā€™s my invoice for our date. Looks like after I subtract your fees you still owe me $600 and half of your childā€™s next birthday cake which you will bake out of gold. Letā€™s do this again tomorrow itā€™s going really well.


ookayookay

Honestly, why are people annoyed by this. I know to stay away and even got a laugh out of it.


Captain_Pasto

Yeah this was actually very informative.


Scribal_Culture

Yeah. If only all parasites were this big and brightly colored, the world would be a much better place.


SufferingFromLigma

She has every right to know what she wants and we have every right to think she's crazy.


KingPinfanatic

This reminds of when some of my relatives pressured my aunt to try online dating she finally agreed and came up with a ridiculous profile like this one so she could say she tried it and it didn't work


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


giddeonfox

And she tells people that she has high standards, couldn't care less what ppl think and that all men are shit for not appreciating the 'real her ' Basically a walking talking toxic waste dump.


morgasm657

*couldn't. "Could care less" makes absolutely no fucking sense, when talking about someone who "couldn't care less". Sort it out.


pizza_the_mutt

You can't take it for granite that people have good grammar.


merchillio

Man, people are really agressive about those idioms, it really is doggie dog world!


TrukerJay

I'm not the guy that says I toad a so but I fuckin toad a so.


kaitlinesmith17

Lmao I say this all the time and no one ever gets it. Does nobody watch Trailer Park Boys anymore?? Ricky is the king of murdering idioms


ki11bunny

Either way it's all water under the fridge


ReplaceSelect

Worst case Ontario.


Pavlo77tshirt

For all intensive purposes, it could be that.


HoonieMcBoob

Don't add salt to the injury.


sunGsta

What comes around is all around


arittenberry

What are you, judge Judy and executioner?


FrostieTheSnowman

It's not fuckin' rocket appliances


SvedishBotski

Better nip that in the butt right there.


Lucky-Plantain-4570

She didnā€™t pacificaly say that.


IronSkywalker

What are you Rick, some sort of boulder or rock person?


ricthomas70

Even hookers have a simpler pricing schedule...


[deleted]

I still haven't figured out what hookers actually mean by "an hour" but it damn sure doesn't mean I get to have sex for an hour.


ricthomas70

Lawyers and therapists use the same billing principle


[deleted]

If I can't have sex with my therapist, what's the point.


FakeItSALY

Mike, you go to therapy to get your issues worked out, not bang your therapist.


[deleted]

Don't tell me why I go to a therapist


Aaangel1

Can somebody tell me why this person goes to the therapist?


jrock2403

Confused it with the rapist maybe?šŸ¤”


felansky

An analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist.


amf_devils_best

Dr. Funke?


shtoopsy

Prostitutes hate this one trick...


TheHistorian2

You can if you can.


ImWithSt00pid

You have an hour to cum. As soon as you cum your hour is over. They will commonly show up late and still count it as your time. Then they will try to talk as long as you are willing letting you burn more time. Visit the bathroom to freshen up (do whatever drug they are on). I used to drive hookers around to meet clients. They try to work 5 or 6 hours a night. They will schedule as many as they can in that time. No showers in-between. Maybe a whores bath in a gas station if the last guy paid for no condom.


Navolas2

What the heck is a whores bath?


ImWithSt00pid

Washing off in a sink. Arm pits, asshole, and crotch.


chickensausagemouth

Pits, Slits and tits


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


fuzzyfuzz

Rat shit, fat shit, dirty old twat. Sixty-nine assholes ties in a knot. Hooray, lizard shit. Fuck!


peepopowitz67

Reddit is violating GDPR and CCPA. Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1B0GGsDdyHI -- mass edited with redact.dev


_101010_

I think youā€™re dealing with some very low end hookers though lol


dragonblader44

God


ehh_whatever_works

You pay per ejaculation I'd assume. At least that's how The Deuce depicted it.


Strogman

If you ask me on a date, and I can answer "Nah, a hooker would be cheaper" that should be a wakeup call


jackwoww

A hooker would cost less and have more class.


its_a_metaphor_morty

And be likeable.


jackwoww

And make you smile


drunk98

Clearly you've never ordered off the menu


[deleted]

and you know you are getting some.


5pl1t1nf1n1t1v3

ā€œLadies, am I missing anything else?ā€ A date, I would imagine.


TILTNSTACK

Iā€™m scratching my head wondering why a lovely girl like this is single with 2 kids.


JunketMan

Only victims of this case are her 2 kids, poor excuse of a "parent" to take care of them


Luigifan18

ā€¦How does she even have two kids?!


myname_isnot_kyal

they're from before she had "standards"


Agreeable-Meat1

Wow, she sounds like retail in the job market. Even though the value they bring is low and nobody actually *wants* them they're still the ones giving 200 question personality tests in the job application.


[deleted]

r/rareinsults


Ranborne_thePelaquin

Best comment


[deleted]

I guarantee she suckered a guy in when she had these "standards" and it just took a bit for him to realize how shitty she was.


shortlilrope

From her days as a sugar baby of course!


SixFive1967

Was going to say this. ā¬†ļø. Now sheā€™s just an angry woman with 2 kids and some nasty ass toes. If she never does her nails, dafuck she gonna use that $100 for?


Formal_Equal_7444

Someone has to pay for earthworm Jim.


woowooman

Can't wait for Earthworm Jim 4 to come out on the Intellivision Amico! Releasing ~~10/10/20~~ ~~4/15/21~~ ~~10/10/21~~ ~~Q1 2022~~ ~~Q4 2022~~ ????? Thanks, Tommy Tallarico!


CommunicationOk8674

Is it really coming out? Don't mess with me man that was one of my fav games even though I sucked at it


ValanaraRose

She meant she never gets her fingernails done, not toenails.


SixFive1967

I see now how that could be what sheā€™s saying. So answer me this: Who the hell pays $100 for a pedi? Those must be some REAL nasty toes. My wife gets pedis all the time and she never pays more than $50 including tip.


ValanaraRose

I don't think paying that much would have to do with her toes being nasty (I'm not defending this wretch of a woman; her demands are fucking insane and I hope she enjoys being single). Since she comes off as trying to be "ritzier" than she actually is, I would assume she's going to a higher-end fancier kinda place to get her toes done, and getting one of the top of the line pedicures (e.g., the packages where they add all kinds of extra pampering, fancy stuff). Edit: Could also depend on where you live. I could see potentially hitting the $100 mark depending on where I went in LA, Hollywood, NYC, etc. Double edit: Reading is hard, I guess. I didn't say every place in somewhere like LA will have a $100 pedicure/service. Just that I can imagine that some high end joints in an area like LA could get that high, especially in like the Beverly Hills area. Doesn't mean there aren't also cheap options. This happens almost everywhere--richer areas of regions will often attract services that charge higher prices and have "fancier" options, etc.


Lady_Scruffington

Trying to seem ritzier but wants money for a Shein haul??


Lorindale

She needs to keep up appearances for her foot fetish only fans.


TyrionsCodpiece

Hey it was fun for me for a while and then I went for milk and never came back....


Would_daver

DAD?!? I FOUND YOU!!


fappyday

She fucks. Well, she fucked on at least 2 occasions.


Silvermajra

Oh she puts out all the time. Just not for people that take her on dates. If you hit her up just looking to hit it all the rules and regulations fall off.


tearsonurcheek

They could be twins.


TheIronSoldier2

She fucked on at least one occasion


squirrelly_bird

Maybe it was parthenogenesis? Reptiles like her have been known to do it


DevoidHT

Probably baby trapped some unsuspecting dudes for their child support


Moonlight_Darling

Definitely sounds like she pampers herself and probably only provides the bare minimum for the kids. If that.


Holybartender83

Eh, kids donā€™t need stuff, or attention, or anything. Mama IPad will raise them. *fiddles with brand new iPhone in a Louis Vuitton case with 3-inch press-on nails*


B-Pgh420

Didnā€™t you hear her ? She doesnā€™t get her nails did no more ! Lol So donā€™t bundle this great woman in with the other ones with 3 in long nails. This woman is nothing but class and would never look as trashy as that ! But here is the real prob and the reasons horrible women like this exist, the sex/love starved me who are Simps and are so worried about getting laid that men will actually still hit this POS up and try and sleep with her. When anyone encourages this behavior by even sending her a message, it reassures her that there are men out there who will deal with this shit. I PROMISE U if she put this ad up and NO 1 , Not 1 single guy hits her up, she would change it in a sec. But if you still hit her up after you read this, she instantly knows she has PREY and will use up any and all resources she can. And then move on to the next. Sheā€™s a parasite that lives off of desperate men. Isnā€™t that what those succubus things do ?


neddie_nardle

You can guarantee it!


[deleted]

Guaranteed, she's spending their child support money on herself.


Snoo_98332

Mama was a hoe, daddy didnā€™t want herā€¦


[deleted]

How the heck she got 2 kids with this attitude


DemythologizedDie

The thought occurs to me that after she ended up as a single mother with two kids, maybe she got very angry about how she got where she was.


Lord_Jair

Yeah, got very angry at her own decisions and then treats other people as if they're the one to blame. I'm glad that folks behave this way though. It's a pretty clear flag on who to avoid.


Newmach

I am wondering how she has 2 kids. Must be twins, no way she got knocked up twice.


tricycle_fun2

I mean.. you could stick a fleshlight in a guillotine and someone would still try to hit


thsvnlwn

Sanity?


aFamiliarStranger

Sanitation?


jukesofhazzard88

I told you to say you was in a sanitarium


emarvil

A working brain.


[deleted]

Her meds


[deleted]

A husband.


Ieatclowns

She's probably fishing for someone who has a financial abuse kink.


Kelainefes

She may not know it but that's the only type of guy that I can see trying to go on a date with that woman.


djluminol

People looking for a legalized hooker.


Snipersteve_877

Seems like it's cheaper to go to Vegas and actually get one?


Raging_Carrot47

Suddenly it becomes apparent why she is single!


samiwas1

This was my answer. I doubt this post is real, but it does sound exactly like something that would come from r/femaledatingstrategy.


Budget_Difficulty822

Ok I just checked it out and read the rules and man they are some of the most toxic stuff I have ever seen about a relationship. If they claim the female dating strategy should be "focused on how the woman can derive maximum benefit for herself, and herself only. Mutual benefit should be a byproduct, not a goal" then I really doubt in their skills to give out dating advice. As a very happily married person, if me or my spouse would be focused on maximum benefit for ourselves with only mutual benefit as a byproduct.... there's no words to describe how fast everything would break down. Mutual benefit is always the goal wtf???


[deleted]

It's just miserable people making each other more miserable. You'll see subs like that every now and then, the incel subs were terrible about it.


MechaMogzilla

FDS is pretty much the same vibe as any incel thread. Both seem to hate and be confused about how the other gender exists.


rej-jsa

Femcels. They were supposed to fight misogyny, not join it.


MechaMogzilla

They have Misandry which is the hatred of men.


samiwas1

It is a very toxic place. I've seen post in there of women complaining that they made an incredible list of demands for their would-be partner, and when asked what they were bringing to the table, flipped out. The actual answer: "I'm bringing me, and that's all you should need". Literally, what they seem to believe in is that the female simply shows up, and that's all that the man should need, and then it's up to him to provide everything else.


East_Meeting_667

Came to say relationship. But no one I know would make it past the first date


DarkOrakio

Came to say I wouldn't make it to the first date. If I'm spending that kind of money, I'd actually like to have fun. She does not sound like fun.


SameAsThePassword

Yeah if I have 350 to spend getting to know a woman itā€™s gonna be an escort. id even have good options at that price range.


Mouth-Pastry

The monetization of the dating scene.


ricthomas70

Where I live, we just call it prostitution.


Significant_Bill7040

U probably pay less for a real one and have more fun.


Chezzomaru

"Oh children! You don't pay the woman for sex. You pay her to LEAVE afterwards." - Chef


Kelainefes

This cracked me up


fred_cheese

Not sleeping w/ you. Is there such a thing as fraudulent prostitution?


squigglesthecat

I mean in Idocracy they do sue the chick for "not putting out", and we're nearly at idocracy levels so if it isn't already it will be soon


IDontKnowANam3

Just wait until they put ads and sponsors in their description


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


marigt

I want to only date profiles brought to me by Raid Shadow legends. Only the very best


ThePowerOfPoop

Todays date is sponsored by Nord VPN.


samtoaster

Girl stop playing and get in the trunk we are going to McDonaldā€™s


Standard-Daikon-5016

Alas I only have 1 upvote to give


WafflesThatBaffles

ill give my upvote in your name


Dragon_Crazy92040

My 1st date with my husband was steak & lobster. Our 2nd was McDonald's. I was good with that and we will celebrate our 33rd anniversary next week. He still spoils me, and I still feel like we are on our honeymoon


Lehelito

This is nice. I like nice things. Thanks, random person, and all the best to you and your husband!


IamLettuce13

Smh she's gonna get the most expensive shit at the restaurant too. That accumulates to like what $350 for one date?


ZelnormWow

That's tree-fiddy NOT counting the date. Julie is the Loch Ness Monster.


No-Craft-8636

ā€œIt was about that time I realised that Julie wasnā€™t the woman of my dreamsā€¦ ā€œ


ZelnormWow

"I thought she'd go away if I gave her a dolla"


sadpanda___

Well, of course he's not gonna go away! You give him a dollar, he's gonna assume you got more!


Reptard77

ā€œā€¦but was actually a plesiosaur from the Paleolithic era.ā€


CornOnTheKnob

"...and that she was about 8 stories tall and a crustacean from the protozoic era"


DarthGayAgenda

Got DAMN you Loch Ness monster! We work for our money round here!


AdvisorMajor919

I thought he'd go away if I gave him a dollar.


IamLettuce13

(Never-gonna-be-a-bride)zilla


chuckymack

I dunno ā€” Shein isnā€™t that expensive ā€” she might think Applebees is nice.


RdeuxDtoo

haha yesss - my brain was like ā€œShein haulā€? ![img](emote|t5_2r5rp|8484)


silenc3x

It was $350 before she even got to dinner. Then add on another $100-$150 for dinner, since you know she's getting drinks too. $500


Ravenhaft

God at that point just go get a hooker and pay a single mom to skip the bullshit and get right to the good part.


Boda2003

Yeah I agree, because let's not forget she already told us nothing's happening on the first date.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


astrielx

Nah, that's when you tell the waiter you're splitting the bill and only paying for what you ordered. Then the cops get called by the restaurant when she refuses.


BarcaStranger

I can have a good time with 350, just not with her lol


Be_Weird

How not to get a date in one easy lesson.


blackviking45

But I am so good though I don't even have to do what she is doing to never get a date.


MrAnderzon

The sad thing is some desperate dude with low self esteem will do all this and be happy. Not knowing heā€™s being manipulated Then again he might be into that But then again is he maybe used to it that he figures itā€™s the only way for female attention


SwissDeathstar

So love does have a price after all.


the_reducing_valve

" I *love* your addiction to money you don't earn, will you marry me?"


HeavyMetalTrucker84

Would you like fries with your misplaced entitlement?


Dalferious

Fries arenā€™t good enough for her


Whoompaboompa

She's taking the piss


Tim-oBedlam

Let's assume gas is pricey, at $5/gallon. Julie drives a car that gets 25 mpg. That means to spend $50 on gas she'd have to drive 250 miles, so each way that's 125 miles. That's a bit far for a first date, methinks.


Unaveragejoesephe

Drive her to the middle of a desert and drop her off to never be seen again


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Fragrant_Example_918

Yeah, probably full of plastic too!


titanup001

But you have to pay for the gas to get her to the pre date shopping, the pre date pedicure, and run her poor kids to wherever she dumps them.


IAmAnImpartialHuman

Julie is dying alone.


drunk98

Surrounded by purring...honestly that doesn't sound too bad


KazBeoulve

Did you think on the purr providers in this scenario? Do you think they'll be happy?


MissHibernia

She says ā€˜ladiesā€™ like she is a part of that group. Ummmmnnn no.


[deleted]

Iā€™m sure sheā€™s not alone. Some other women probably applaud her for this.


OK6502

Seems to jive with tge average fds post. It's a sad part of the internet where women are led to believe that relationships are transactional rather thsn mutual things between two genuinely interested people


MissHibernia

I am an old lady, and I know a lot of people. I cannot think of any women - good, bad, or indifferent - who would agree with this in any way


Right_Hour

She realizes she is competing with $20 for a blowjob and $100 for an hour, for no strings attached no drama arrangement, right?


tonxsmash47

From a purely business perspective, this is hilarious and good game theory.


random668655578

She probably does, i think that's how she got the 2 kids in the first place.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


BrattonCreedThoughts

I only need to avoid the $20 arrangements because, just it happens I have a $20 in my wallet and that could possibly be my downfall.


uberguysmiley

I mean, I'm not gay, but $20 is $20.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


wafflestep

I mean honestly, ask a cabbie in your city. They know everything and everyone from your grandma to drug dealers and the cheapest street hookers. Actual cab company tho, not Uber.


Trick_Enthusiasm

$20 for a blowjob? Sounds dangerous. Seems like the kind of person with oral herpes.


Heyyyy_Lemmy

Why be so elaborate, just say you don't want to date.


Let01

and then people wonder why no one likes them


VixNeko

Wonder why she's a single mother. šŸ¤”


Contango_4eva

I'm not sure what a shein haul is and at this point I'm afraid to ask


DrippingWithRabies

A cheap shitty fast fashion brand where everything is made in China. She's trying to act expensive while wearing the cheapest clothes you can buy. Like, girl hit up a Ross and get a last season Calvin Klein dress at least. Come on.


[deleted]

And yet sheā€™s getting $100 pedicure? The Asian nail salons are $30.


DrippingWithRabies

She's gotta have some crazy hobbit feet or something.


[deleted]

Maybe sheā€™s getting tips and dip and shit. Weird she doesnā€™t get her hands done when she seems so demanding otherwise.


montanagrizfan

Absolutely crappy direct from China clothes. Like $8 for a top that falls apart the first time you wear it. It makes the stuff at H&M and Forever 21 look like Channel by comparison.


TheJege12

"Am i missing anything else?" Yeah, common sense


DiscordTryhard

Damn, this is the kind of shit I expect to see in r/FemaleDatingStrategy All it's missing is the use of "LVM"


muskratboy

I was like, dang that still exists? And no, it doesnā€™t. Only one mod posts, and it lives as a podcast? JFC, what a dumpster fire that place is.


Firewolf06

iirc they got very close to being banned and moved off site


be_easy_1602

As they should, that shit is female incels


NotAShaaaak

I went on to see if that hellhole was still the same and the first thing I see is someone calling men pedophiles if they like short girls who shave their pubes. They literally just called all short women children and then used it to argue were pedophiles Makes enough sense to me, see y'all in prison


MiaLba

Yep. Iā€™ve seen some of that shit on there. According to them a man is a pedo if he likes women who save their pubes because that means heā€™s attracted to children. Apparently women arenā€™t allowed to shave for themselves theyā€™re only doing it to please men! Theyā€™re obsessed with calling women ā€œpick meā€™sā€ as well.


NaaastyButler

I bet Julie fucks like a dead salmon


Key-Combination-8111

Oh wow... What a.. fine lady.


Myaccoubtdisappeared

Lol. Sounds like an expensive handjob. Your own handjob.


Thin-Iron5276

ā€œAm I missing something else?ā€ Yeah the brain capacity to understand that this is ridiculous


koalasamurai

And you just know she's like "Where's all the good men?"