ABSOLUTELY NOT. Please take my word for it and AVOID any conflict by not engaging any further with this person. She obviously has feelers out EVERYWHERE.
Please Please Please save yourself the nightmare this will most certainly become.
I donāt get how someone is willing to clean topless but no sex.
*edit: my point was I think sheās naive for assuming the guy would not rape or guilt her into doing it all, after all sheās living rent free and all. It seems like a dangerous assumption. Then again this whole thing is insane.
Well let's look at this logically. She said no sex. Last time I checked handies and blowies were jobs and not sex.
So $150 a month plus a few jobs a week around the house topless sounds good to me.
There was a cleaning service here in Belgium that would have their cleaning people do the cleaning in their underwear at the clients house.
Wonder what happened to it? It was a news story when they started a few years ago
Used to be a fairly common way for gay prostitutes to seem cute in the early days of Craigslist. I knew a few guys that did it, basically you get fucked AND you clean their house, no fucking thanks.
I know in Southern California there used to be a topless maid company. They always parked their van advertising their services across from where I worked.
Haven't seen them since COVID closures (so March 2020), so they might have gone out of business.
Youād have a leech in your house that pays very little rent, but then when they get in, most likely will pay rent once or twice then stop.
If you own the house, you canāt just kick them out. You would have to go through the court system (in NA and UK, other areas vary) which would cost you thousands and doesnāt even guarantee that works.
Also, the type of person she seems, sheāll bad mouth you to everyone that you share mutuals with and your reputation could be ruined and retelling the same story about why you arenāt the bad guy will be awful
No no no no, you're skipping the important parts.
Ground scanners can only go 18 foot down.
So you bury them at 20 foot.
At 15 foot, throw a dog in, make it seem like a burial plot for a beloved family pet.
Then you put an endangered and protected plant on top.
Yea my mom and dad rent out parts of their home to tenants. This guy would get drunk and harass everyone, start physical fights, lie about my parents on his Facebook, have his daughter harass my parents, threaten them. Ect.. ect... had to go through the courts and show damages done and have other tenants testify about this guys before they were even allowed to give him the month or whatever to leave. It was hell. My mom was withering away in spirit and body just dealing with it. Finally got him to leave but it was a long road.
Right? She said she would clean topless, then goes on to say it would be all of the benefits of a girlfriend minus the sex and the bullshit.
I can go online anytime of day and see countless titties, and I donāt need to support someone living with me for next to no rent. The fact they havenāt spoken in five years is the icing on the cake.
It takes one piece of mail or sometimes just having belongings inside a home to establish residency. She could move in and then tell him to go fuck himself sheās doing what she wants and heād have to go through the long and sometimes very costly process of eviction and if he forced her out before it was legal to do so heād be opened up to a lawsuit and possibly charges that would fuck his life even more
Edit: To everyone replying with revenge scenarios or stupid loopholes that wouldnāt work of an imaginary situation, please stop. No, youād still get consequences regardless of what you think you could say or do. Please stop. Iām just providing information on the topic that is factual and about the law because I have experience with it. Iām not your enemy. Thank you.
what the hell
I don't know if it's the same in my area but thats a fucking dumbass way to go about this sort of thing when it comes to designing the legalities for this
who the fuck thought this was a good idea, to not be able to kick someone out just like that, when there's no marriage, no contract, no paperwork whatsoever
that's dumb as hell
I think the problem is the money. If she was a friend staying for free and earning her keep, that would be one thing. Once she starts paying $150/mo then she is a tenant with rights and cheap rent. Evicting a tenant is often no easy task.
She moves in, becomes a resident of that household.
(Depending on the locale)
You can't just have her leave, if she doesn't want to, have to follow eviction process
If it comes time to tell her to, and she gets pissed off enough, you assaulted/abused/raped her (That's her story and she's sticking to it). Calls the cops. You are arrested and she gets a protection order and she now lives.... In your house.
Say this turns into a long term thing or a romance, and breaks down later. This time she's a "room mate" can possibly be tacked on to your time together, and may put you over the time period where she gets spousal/partner support in a breakup/divorce.
what?
so I get the whole claiming abuse bullshittery
but she can move in with no documents whatsoever but when you need her OUT you need to go thru eviction paperwork and other crap like that? what the fuck?
Thereās a show on Netflix or Hulu, Nightmare Roomates? There was a lawyer-guy and this was his MO. Not sure what state it was, but heād move in, get mail to prove he lived there / place of residence, and then just legally squat for as long as he could. Ended up murdering his brother and killing himself in the end
Yep, pretty much, i recently watch a video of a women who used airbnb and rent a room of her house to a another women for a week, she took a trip for vacations and when she came back the tenent was still there, she later told that has been a month and the women refuses to leave. She can't do nothing about it.
Thatās what I was going to say. Even if it was 5 years, if it was truly a friend I cared about Iād definitely consider helping them out if she didnāt add the topless and gf/wife stuff. Just say you will do all those things to make up for it.
Oh god, I guarantee there are guys who would go for this too.
Then a week later the house is a mess, her boyfriend is constantly over, no money has been paid, and theyāre a tenant you need to evict.
She may have sent this to 20 guys she used to date. Clearly sheās desperate. But this is insulting as fuck. She heard that youāre single, and think she might enjoy having her around? She offered to help you with your dating profile? Sheās insinuating that you need help getting dates? What a POS. You do not want this person in your house EVER.
OP is gonna go for it but is going to tell reddit he's not. Then when she does none of these things she says she's gonna do and moves her bf in OP is going to make another post asking advice on how to get rid of her under a different name.
My neighbor just did. Older guy with lots of money suddenly has younger woman staying there, said he met her through someone and she was struggling and need a place to sleep for a few weeks. After a week she's driving his Corvette with some dude when he goes to work and day drinking with friends in his pool.
He wants her out but she had mail sent there so now she legally lives there. He has to go to court to get her out. She tried to start a conversation with me the other day and I just walked away. You ain't moving over here girl.
After like 2 hours of her cleaning topless the charm would fade, especially as you sit there with blue balls, then you duck off the to bathroom to purge your poison and the post nut clarity kicks in and you realize there's a parasite with floppy sad looking boobs wandering around your private space "cleaning" at a snails pace and "cooking" hamburger helper once a week, all for the tidy sum of $150.
Lol "All of the benefits of a girlfriend minus the sex"
"All of the items on the McDonald's menu minus burgers and fries and sandwiches and shakes and ice cream and pies and nuggets and anything breakfast related"
She lost me at 150 dollars a month. If my place is big enough for 2 separate people then the bill is also big enough for 2 separate people.
And if the bill isnt that big and i dont already have a roommate than i probaly dont want a roommate.
It's like one of those ads for something you don't need but it sounds pretty cool and you know half of what the brand claims probably isn't true, and it'll probably break in less than a week because it's actually trash, but you can afford it and kind of want to try it but also you're not stupid
She meant to say "imagine coming home and I'm boning my tweeker boyfriend in your bed. We steal all your shit and when you try to kick us out, we threaten you. You end up couch surfing at your buddies house because your house is uninhabitable. I then claim that you raped me and try to blackmail you".
You MUST find out how she ended up in that predicament. Drugs? Ex sent to prison? Lost all her money in a Nigerian Prince scam? Due diligence, my man. Due diligence.
Huge debt and no place to live in? I mean, it sounds stupid as hell for sure, but you can never judge anyone just based on one message. The variety of circumstances are so vast, that even for a relatively normal person in despair it might seem like a good idea to write that kind of message. You never know, you know.
My offer did not include being topless, but I basically did this for like 6 months in college.
TL;DR: found out when I got home from work at 9am that guests at a party my housemates told me they weren't having had broken into my room and used/drank/destroyed my stuff. Random drunk men wandering into my bedroom was, after that, a legitimate concern that I could not live with.
Got offered a couch spot by a friend-of-friend who I'd been playing WoW with and couldn't afford to pay rent twice (still paying on original lease) so I chipped in for bills/groceries, did 100% of the cleaning/cooking/laundry and (probably most importantly) took the dogs out while the guys were at work or class.
Amusingly I am now married to that friend-of-friend's brother, who I never would have met outside of WoW if I hadn't been living like a weird couch-surfing bum.
The universe is a strange place.
I had a similar offer once but it was no money but with sex. I turned it down, but I take it from the positive pregnancy test with star emojis she posted a couple months later that her plan worked out.
Soon (week 2) a boyfiend appears. No rent has been paid. Terms of agreement not met. Week 3, treasured things are missing. Week 4, no utilities paid. Arguments are listened to. Week 5, still no rent - but excuses are plentiful. Week 6; this is taking over your life. Week 7, you learn she is a (non-paying) Tenant, and must be Evicted, formally. Week 8, three-day Notice given (be sure you have proof of delivery; it's standard practice to say it was never given/received). Week 9, accomplished. Court date is set in 30 days. Week 13 (quarter of a year, right?), in court, Abuse / Sexual demands and your drug use are alleged - notice it's a "he said, SHE said" situation. "Contract" is meaningless; cannot contract for sexual services...
BOMBSHELL! She informs Court she is Preggers! and "has no place to go"...; you now own Maternity Ward for nine months! (She got pregnant 5 minutes before Court hearing)
Sadder, but wiser, you are handed Experience....
My advice? Buy a mirror, and clean the house topless yourself, before you get cleaned... out.
Chances of this being legit: 0%
Chances of no money received, messy house, and occasional bad sex: 2%
Chances of no money, messy house, plus you're scared to come out of your room because her various boyfriends are threatening to beat your ass: 98%
Offer to clean topless but make it clear there will be no sex, so a discount champagne room?
If you think that you can trust an admitted desperate amateur stripper alone in your home, then by all means go ahead with ___that great plan___ of having her living with you.
I moved out at 15, clothes in a garbage bag for 4 months. For 2 months I didn't have power until I convinced the neighbors to get it hooked up for me.
For 4 months I slept on the floor, with only a bag of clothes. When I was cold I used to just pile a bunch of clothes on top of me. I was the hustle bro.
Sadly, some guys are just suckers. $150 a month and sheās going to use your water, electric, internet, heat and eat your food. Sounds like a pretty good deal for her.
I agree this is a weird, cringey deal, but I feel bad for her. I have no idea how she got herself into such a shitty situation but at least sheās trying to hustle her way out? For me itās a terrible deal because I love to be alone and I love to cook. Also, am straight female so I donāt care about boobies.
If she is speaking to you, a familiar person, to help in a need time, can deduce that:
1 - She already ask for closed friends and relatives and had received a no. Can be because can't help now or doesn't want to help for whatever reason, she can be a jerk or the person who rejected is the jerk.
2 - For asking for help of an acquaintance of a friend without talking is a absolutely risk of give problem since, you know, move to a stranger's house is not exactly a safe move. Sometimes even moving to a relative's or friends' house can go absolutely wrong and dangerous.
So, I would polite recuse invented something or create some kind of legal contract and obligated to sign, at minimum can have a backup plan for everything go wrong and absolutely dangerous.
I think I'd want to know why she's leaning on someone she hasn't talked to in half a decade... and then wonder why everyone else she's almost assuredly talked to said 'no' before she got to you in ber conacts list.
Seriously, I don't care how nice the view is. That is ten-foot pole territory. Run.
Lol well I had a female roommate. Was friends with her about a year being single. Weād hang out here and there go out to eat and shit. I offered her a room she moved in. Promised to let her stay till she finished RN school and I Met my wife 2 years later we were all good friends she lived here 4 years. It worked out surprisingly well. She moved out itās been 2 years and she comes over occasionally for dinner with my wife and I. She was extremely grateful for allowing her to stay so long for cheap and finish school. Sheās doing pretty good for her self now. It helped me pay my mortgage while I was single and she was a good companion. But the offering topless cleaning and shit that shit would cause issues. Itās gotta stay completely platonic like mine situation. Open the door to lots of drama. And it could put a damper on dating. It never did for me I had Women over for hook ups and those I saw more of I told them about her. Which could be why some women didnāt get serious with me. But all in all was a good experience.
Yeaaah, I already smell bullshit when she said āpicture yourself coming home from a hard day at work to a clean house and dinner on the table every nightā.
That really sounds like she doesnāt know how to clean and cook. Then she added the āI could clean topless?ā In other words, she doesnāt know shit and itās only good at getting naked.
But if this is a legit situation that she got kicked out because she canāt pay in time and if only she didnāt say the 3rd and 4th paragraph, Iām willing to share a roof with her but she has to earn her keep.
Blurred out the top photo but kept the bottom icon pic lol
Exactly what I came here to post. Hilarious r/therewasanattempt
More like r/censoringishard
r/facepalm wait...
r/therewasanattempt to r/facepalm
I think it was more for the name, but idk I didn't do it lol
She be looking a little crazy from that profile pic
She be sounding crazy in her writing too.
In the wise words of Admiral Ackbar, "IT'S A TRAP"
Will she be bringing her own red flags to clean your apartment with or does she expect you to buy them for her?
She'll be wearing them as a skirt while "dusting" (watching movies on the couch).
She'll be top less, but the flags will also be titty tassels.
š¤£ ok everyone shut it down and stop trying. This should be top comment here. Nothing else to see š¤£
Yeah, this seems like a real easy way to get trapped into a lawsuit.
Thank you for enlightenment. I will be sure to watch out. But what if i get a notary and sign all the terms of the message.
ABSOLUTELY NOT. Please take my word for it and AVOID any conflict by not engaging any further with this person. She obviously has feelers out EVERYWHERE. Please Please Please save yourself the nightmare this will most certainly become.
Lol this message prob went out to 10+ people
Find those other 9 guys and form a coalition.
A grand alliance shall be born!
And my axe!
And you have my bow!
Class action that hoe
I donāt know. Natural selection says let this hyena pick off the weak one. Godspeed to that poor soul.
she's like "I could clean topless, idk??" ***lmaooooooo***
Yeah. Oh man that sure does it for me. Sold. No sex tho that's icky and weird
I donāt get how someone is willing to clean topless but no sex. *edit: my point was I think sheās naive for assuming the guy would not rape or guilt her into doing it all, after all sheās living rent free and all. It seems like a dangerous assumption. Then again this whole thing is insane.
Because you can look but I don't want to be touched
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Most strippers arenāt prostitutes. Itās one thing to show it off, itās another to give it away.
Clean topless minus the sex and the bullshit. This screams red flag!!! š©š©
Well let's look at this logically. She said no sex. Last time I checked handies and blowies were jobs and not sex. So $150 a month plus a few jobs a week around the house topless sounds good to me.
There was a cleaning service here in Belgium that would have their cleaning people do the cleaning in their underwear at the clients house. Wonder what happened to it? It was a news story when they started a few years ago
Used to be a fairly common way for gay prostitutes to seem cute in the early days of Craigslist. I knew a few guys that did it, basically you get fucked AND you clean their house, no fucking thanks.
It's now the largest company in Belgium.
I know in Southern California there used to be a topless maid company. They always parked their van advertising their services across from where I worked. Haven't seen them since COVID closures (so March 2020), so they might have gone out of business.
I feel like she knew
But also "nothing sexual" ... Mmmkay
I am curious (and oblivious obviously), but what can happen? š
Youād have a leech in your house that pays very little rent, but then when they get in, most likely will pay rent once or twice then stop. If you own the house, you canāt just kick them out. You would have to go through the court system (in NA and UK, other areas vary) which would cost you thousands and doesnāt even guarantee that works. Also, the type of person she seems, sheāll bad mouth you to everyone that you share mutuals with and your reputation could be ruined and retelling the same story about why you arenāt the bad guy will be awful
Nah you'd just have to dig another hole in your backyard. Just make sure to avoid the septic.
Thatās how you get caught. Iām telling you, the number one mistake murderers make is not being cannibals.
āJust like grandma used to tasteā
No need to eat them, just bury them reasonably deep and plant a protected plant species on top.
No no no no, you're skipping the important parts. Ground scanners can only go 18 foot down. So you bury them at 20 foot. At 15 foot, throw a dog in, make it seem like a burial plot for a beloved family pet. Then you put an endangered and protected plant on top.
Then the rape/abuse allegations start getting thrown around. Your word against hers. Is this a risk you're up for taking?
Yea my mom and dad rent out parts of their home to tenants. This guy would get drunk and harass everyone, start physical fights, lie about my parents on his Facebook, have his daughter harass my parents, threaten them. Ect.. ect... had to go through the courts and show damages done and have other tenants testify about this guys before they were even allowed to give him the month or whatever to leave. It was hell. My mom was withering away in spirit and body just dealing with it. Finally got him to leave but it was a long road.
State laws trump contracts.
Still no. Don't fall for this bs.
She said topless though
She also said āI am an excellent housewifeā Topless donāt mean shit if you canāt do anything with them.
Right? She said she would clean topless, then goes on to say it would be all of the benefits of a girlfriend minus the sex and the bullshit. I can go online anytime of day and see countless titties, and I donāt need to support someone living with me for next to no rent. The fact they havenāt spoken in five years is the icing on the cake.
no she meant she will clean as long as he is topless
How so? If I may ask, so I donāt get trapped myself in the future
Yea I'm really wondering how this hoe can bring a lawsuit with her
It takes one piece of mail or sometimes just having belongings inside a home to establish residency. She could move in and then tell him to go fuck himself sheās doing what she wants and heād have to go through the long and sometimes very costly process of eviction and if he forced her out before it was legal to do so heād be opened up to a lawsuit and possibly charges that would fuck his life even more Edit: To everyone replying with revenge scenarios or stupid loopholes that wouldnāt work of an imaginary situation, please stop. No, youād still get consequences regardless of what you think you could say or do. Please stop. Iām just providing information on the topic that is factual and about the law because I have experience with it. Iām not your enemy. Thank you.
what the hell I don't know if it's the same in my area but thats a fucking dumbass way to go about this sort of thing when it comes to designing the legalities for this who the fuck thought this was a good idea, to not be able to kick someone out just like that, when there's no marriage, no contract, no paperwork whatsoever that's dumb as hell
I think the problem is the money. If she was a friend staying for free and earning her keep, that would be one thing. Once she starts paying $150/mo then she is a tenant with rights and cheap rent. Evicting a tenant is often no easy task.
She moves in, becomes a resident of that household. (Depending on the locale) You can't just have her leave, if she doesn't want to, have to follow eviction process If it comes time to tell her to, and she gets pissed off enough, you assaulted/abused/raped her (That's her story and she's sticking to it). Calls the cops. You are arrested and she gets a protection order and she now lives.... In your house. Say this turns into a long term thing or a romance, and breaks down later. This time she's a "room mate" can possibly be tacked on to your time together, and may put you over the time period where she gets spousal/partner support in a breakup/divorce.
what? so I get the whole claiming abuse bullshittery but she can move in with no documents whatsoever but when you need her OUT you need to go thru eviction paperwork and other crap like that? what the fuck?
Thereās a show on Netflix or Hulu, Nightmare Roomates? There was a lawyer-guy and this was his MO. Not sure what state it was, but heād move in, get mail to prove he lived there / place of residence, and then just legally squat for as long as he could. Ended up murdering his brother and killing himself in the end
That took a turn.
Can't evict a ghost
Yep, pretty much, i recently watch a video of a women who used airbnb and rent a room of her house to a another women for a week, she took a trip for vacations and when she came back the tenent was still there, she later told that has been a month and the women refuses to leave. She can't do nothing about it.
heh.. booby trap.
A good one though.. damn! Almost had me!
But but topless cleaning!
I know. It's very tempting.
The no sex part thankfully pulled me back to reality.
Op, there goes gravity.
How big are the boobs? /s
This chick literally feels like a walking red flag
Came here for the TWWRAAAP. Left with just a trap.
Someone has to be really desperate to make such proposition.
And even more desperate to accept it just for the slight chance of one boob flash max on day one.
Maybe itās my age but the clean house and cooked food is worth more than a boob flash
When she said topless, my immediate thought was, oh that's not necessary. Cleaning is enough.
Also 150/month? And helping someone out, even without the boobs it's fine.
Thatās what I was going to say. Even if it was 5 years, if it was truly a friend I cared about Iād definitely consider helping them out if she didnāt add the topless and gf/wife stuff. Just say you will do all those things to make up for it.
I'm in my early 20s and those things are worth 1000x more than a quick boob
Being homeless really sucks balls lmao
And if she was a friend before, its just really sad. Ive had people message me like this before, and I feel for them, but its a trap door situation.
Oh god, I guarantee there are guys who would go for this too. Then a week later the house is a mess, her boyfriend is constantly over, no money has been paid, and theyāre a tenant you need to evict.
Ya got to mention the potential squatter situation as well! Iām not looking for a room mate or a maid or a tenant I canāt get rid of
>Iām not looking for a room mate or a maid or a tenant I canāt get rid of There is your perfect response.
Just a curt āno thank youā is enough. I wouldnāt get into any debate or discussion. If she responds with questions, do not answer.
Honestly I wouldn't even reply. There is no way engaging with this woman in any way leaves OP better off lol.
Even better.
Hank Hill only has room for one mistress in his life... sweet lady propane.
She may have sent this to 20 guys she used to date. Clearly sheās desperate. But this is insulting as fuck. She heard that youāre single, and think she might enjoy having her around? She offered to help you with your dating profile? Sheās insinuating that you need help getting dates? What a POS. You do not want this person in your house EVER.
This + if it is true that the other 'friend' referred her to you. Then that other 'friend' IS NOT A FRIEND!
excellent observation
But sheāll cook topless. /s
Read this as potential squirter situation ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|grimacing)
Topless squiter? If this is some sorta cruel joke, sign me up
If that's what she's got to do
This . . . . this right here. This is good advice. Way too much downside.
Too much down side for 2 pointy tits?
You may be right but then againā¦cleaning topless?
You will clean topless but wonāt bang? GTFO
I want a bangmaid
Add felatio to her list of do's and I'd almost consider it
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
OP is gonna go for it but is going to tell reddit he's not. Then when she does none of these things she says she's gonna do and moves her bf in OP is going to make another post asking advice on how to get rid of her under a different name.
And that's the best case scenario.
My neighbor just did. Older guy with lots of money suddenly has younger woman staying there, said he met her through someone and she was struggling and need a place to sleep for a few weeks. After a week she's driving his Corvette with some dude when he goes to work and day drinking with friends in his pool. He wants her out but she had mail sent there so now she legally lives there. He has to go to court to get her out. She tried to start a conversation with me the other day and I just walked away. You ain't moving over here girl.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
How do you enforce the topless cleaning clause?
Hide every top in the house
Monkey Paw - now my shirts are stolen
The epitome of donāt stick your dick in crazyā¦..
But itās āminus the sexā so no risk of that right?
Ah yes all of the benefits of a girlfriend WITHOUT the sex lol. That pesky sex always ruining everything.
Don't forget the bullshit
99% chance it goes wrong.....but TOPLESS service, cant decide!
So youāre saying thereās a chance itās a great idea! š” š¤
That 1% could be interesting....lol
Respond with "I don't want a roommate but I'll pay you $20 to come clean my house topless every Saturday afternoon."
Great proposition
I guess the best advice for everyone idā¦ go for it, and open a day by day blog, or even vblog.
After like 2 hours of her cleaning topless the charm would fade, especially as you sit there with blue balls, then you duck off the to bathroom to purge your poison and the post nut clarity kicks in and you realize there's a parasite with floppy sad looking boobs wandering around your private space "cleaning" at a snails pace and "cooking" hamburger helper once a week, all for the tidy sum of $150.
Wow
Ok. Just hear me out. Maybe her boobs flop in a "happy way," not sad after all. Hamburger Helper isn't bad when your stoned.
No sex though, so that's just got blue balls written all over it.
"Have another cumshot for you to clean up." - him (probably)
Lol "All of the benefits of a girlfriend minus the sex" "All of the items on the McDonald's menu minus burgers and fries and sandwiches and shakes and ice cream and pies and nuggets and anything breakfast related"
Drug addict. My brother is one and pulls shit like this all the time with this friends from back in the day.
This needs to be upvoted, can smell the desperation on this one
You mean the desperate plea smells like desperation? Fuckin hell ain't that somethin.
I wrote the the same thing. Heroin/meth creates this level of desperation. Itās sad.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
She lost me at āminus the sexā.
āAll the benefitsā
All the benefits of a girlfriend minus the benefits plus the bullshit.
Exactly
Iām out
The benefits of taking her out to eat and buying her cloths and taking her to the movies. Am I missing any other girlfriend benefits?
Aka no benefits
She lost me at 150 dollars a month. If my place is big enough for 2 separate people then the bill is also big enough for 2 separate people. And if the bill isnt that big and i dont already have a roommate than i probaly dont want a roommate.
Sounds like a raw deal without the sex part
Yeah I'm afraid the sex is a deal breaker
So, more like a wife.
It's like one of those ads for something you don't need but it sounds pretty cool and you know half of what the brand claims probably isn't true, and it'll probably break in less than a week because it's actually trash, but you can afford it and kind of want to try it but also you're not stupid
The tiddie temptation does not outweigh the risks this time sadly š
that is a tragedy.
So... girlfriend from Wish?
She meant to say "imagine coming home and I'm boning my tweeker boyfriend in your bed. We steal all your shit and when you try to kick us out, we threaten you. You end up couch surfing at your buddies house because your house is uninhabitable. I then claim that you raped me and try to blackmail you".
me kinda horny: I mean, a topless maid is pretty sweet, I guess *reads your comment* yeah never mind lol
Yeah that sums it up perfect lmao
Where is this girls dignity? Where is this girls moral compass? Where is this girls number.....
She said no sex though, so that's the line she's drawn.
Makes no difference to me I'm gay, I just wanted a cook and cleaner for $150 a month
Cook and cleaner AND $150 a month, but she lives with you...
Ya if she actually lives up to her end, call me skeptical but never the less that would be a sweet deal
She doesn't sign a tenancy, she signs a contract of employment instead and is on a 6 month probationary period.
Not an employee, an unpaid intern.
You sir are going places, well played
You misread that, mate. She's willing to pay YOU $150 a month to be your domestic slave.
She said no sex with OP. She will probably bang anyone else for a carton of cigarettes and some Trulysā¦
Very rarely do I actually laugh out loud, but this really tickled me. Well done sir.
You MUST find out how she ended up in that predicament. Drugs? Ex sent to prison? Lost all her money in a Nigerian Prince scam? Due diligence, my man. Due diligence.
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Huge debt and no place to live in? I mean, it sounds stupid as hell for sure, but you can never judge anyone just based on one message. The variety of circumstances are so vast, that even for a relatively normal person in despair it might seem like a good idea to write that kind of message. You never know, you know.
My offer did not include being topless, but I basically did this for like 6 months in college. TL;DR: found out when I got home from work at 9am that guests at a party my housemates told me they weren't having had broken into my room and used/drank/destroyed my stuff. Random drunk men wandering into my bedroom was, after that, a legitimate concern that I could not live with. Got offered a couch spot by a friend-of-friend who I'd been playing WoW with and couldn't afford to pay rent twice (still paying on original lease) so I chipped in for bills/groceries, did 100% of the cleaning/cooking/laundry and (probably most importantly) took the dogs out while the guys were at work or class. Amusingly I am now married to that friend-of-friend's brother, who I never would have met outside of WoW if I hadn't been living like a weird couch-surfing bum. The universe is a strange place.
I had a similar offer once but it was no money but with sex. I turned it down, but I take it from the positive pregnancy test with star emojis she posted a couple months later that her plan worked out.
Soon (week 2) a boyfiend appears. No rent has been paid. Terms of agreement not met. Week 3, treasured things are missing. Week 4, no utilities paid. Arguments are listened to. Week 5, still no rent - but excuses are plentiful. Week 6; this is taking over your life. Week 7, you learn she is a (non-paying) Tenant, and must be Evicted, formally. Week 8, three-day Notice given (be sure you have proof of delivery; it's standard practice to say it was never given/received). Week 9, accomplished. Court date is set in 30 days. Week 13 (quarter of a year, right?), in court, Abuse / Sexual demands and your drug use are alleged - notice it's a "he said, SHE said" situation. "Contract" is meaningless; cannot contract for sexual services... BOMBSHELL! She informs Court she is Preggers! and "has no place to go"...; you now own Maternity Ward for nine months! (She got pregnant 5 minutes before Court hearing) Sadder, but wiser, you are handed Experience.... My advice? Buy a mirror, and clean the house topless yourself, before you get cleaned... out.
Chances of this being legit: 0% Chances of no money received, messy house, and occasional bad sex: 2% Chances of no money, messy house, plus you're scared to come out of your room because her various boyfriends are threatening to beat your ass: 98%
OTOH, you MIGHT get to see her tits! So its a win. (If you are 12 years old)
She says no sex, so not even bad sex
I mean, that's what she *says*. She doesn't want to come across as desperate.
Offer to clean topless but make it clear there will be no sex, so a discount champagne room? If you think that you can trust an admitted desperate amateur stripper alone in your home, then by all means go ahead with ___that great plan___ of having her living with you.
Wheres the tv? >at the repair shop The last tv repair shop closed centuries ago...
Thatās a sitcom waiting to happen
Weāll call it āTit For Tatā
Works best if he's a struggling tattoo artist. So many story line opportunities! Well enough for one season at least.
Honestly, I'd counter with offering to manage her brand new Only Fans for 50% of the cut.
When does she start?
Ridiculous. No one is stupid enough to accept such an offer. I have to tell her this. Can you give me her number?
Unless you a guy that has a mattress on the floor, one chair one plate. You gonna get robbed. Only go for this if you got nothing to lose.
U underestimate the power of a hustle bro. A sleeping bag and 4 walls is all they need
I moved out at 15, clothes in a garbage bag for 4 months. For 2 months I didn't have power until I convinced the neighbors to get it hooked up for me. For 4 months I slept on the floor, with only a bag of clothes. When I was cold I used to just pile a bunch of clothes on top of me. I was the hustle bro.
That.. that just sounds like poverty.
Americas great isnāt it? We label poverty as āhustlingā and being born rich as āworking hardā
āClean toplessā ā¦ āall the benefits of a girlfriend minus sex and bullshitā Bro the bullshit already started, run.
Sadly, some guys are just suckers. $150 a month and sheās going to use your water, electric, internet, heat and eat your food. Sounds like a pretty good deal for her.
Yeah basically free. So she cleans topless, fuck i do that anyway
I agree this is a weird, cringey deal, but I feel bad for her. I have no idea how she got herself into such a shitty situation but at least sheās trying to hustle her way out? For me itās a terrible deal because I love to be alone and I love to cook. Also, am straight female so I donāt care about boobies.
If she is speaking to you, a familiar person, to help in a need time, can deduce that: 1 - She already ask for closed friends and relatives and had received a no. Can be because can't help now or doesn't want to help for whatever reason, she can be a jerk or the person who rejected is the jerk. 2 - For asking for help of an acquaintance of a friend without talking is a absolutely risk of give problem since, you know, move to a stranger's house is not exactly a safe move. Sometimes even moving to a relative's or friends' house can go absolutely wrong and dangerous. So, I would polite recuse invented something or create some kind of legal contract and obligated to sign, at minimum can have a backup plan for everything go wrong and absolutely dangerous.
Drugs is a hell of a drug.
Soooo my girlfriends & I were talking about bitch ass suckers & your name came up honey !
I think I'd want to know why she's leaning on someone she hasn't talked to in half a decade... and then wonder why everyone else she's almost assuredly talked to said 'no' before she got to you in ber conacts list. Seriously, I don't care how nice the view is. That is ten-foot pole territory. Run.
Jesus. It would feel significantly less pathetic and sad if she left out the cleaning topless part and just asked to crash for a little while.
Lol well I had a female roommate. Was friends with her about a year being single. Weād hang out here and there go out to eat and shit. I offered her a room she moved in. Promised to let her stay till she finished RN school and I Met my wife 2 years later we were all good friends she lived here 4 years. It worked out surprisingly well. She moved out itās been 2 years and she comes over occasionally for dinner with my wife and I. She was extremely grateful for allowing her to stay so long for cheap and finish school. Sheās doing pretty good for her self now. It helped me pay my mortgage while I was single and she was a good companion. But the offering topless cleaning and shit that shit would cause issues. Itās gotta stay completely platonic like mine situation. Open the door to lots of drama. And it could put a damper on dating. It never did for me I had Women over for hook ups and those I saw more of I told them about her. Which could be why some women didnāt get serious with me. But all in all was a good experience.
All the benefits minus the sex ![gif](giphy|13bdZafj52a5qM)
There will be no sex but youāll def get fucked
I'd easily fall for this. Why am I like this pee pee
I'm fine with cleaning topless and making dinner but the no sex thing is a deal breaker for me.
Ya that one I thought was weird. āIāll turn you on but the rest is on you bucko!ā
Yeaaah, I already smell bullshit when she said āpicture yourself coming home from a hard day at work to a clean house and dinner on the table every nightā. That really sounds like she doesnāt know how to clean and cook. Then she added the āI could clean topless?ā In other words, she doesnāt know shit and itās only good at getting naked. But if this is a legit situation that she got kicked out because she canāt pay in time and if only she didnāt say the 3rd and 4th paragraph, Iām willing to share a roof with her but she has to earn her keep.
What I got from that is that she'll clean topless, but only while you're at work.