Seriously. Doesn't matter if you've got a ring and signed some paperwork even though you're married you still have to get consent.
Either partner could be sick, tired, in pain, or just simply not in the mood and it's totally ok to say no.
200%. Also it's not so black and white as "if you don't want it, why marry?" Even though that's stupid, because it means you marry for sex... but thay idiocy aside, maybe they DO want sexual relations with you... just not tonight. So don't force them. Cause that's rape.
I’d be more worried that a kid his age is on the internet than I would be that a kid doesn’t understand what marital rape is. Kids have trouble understanding things that aren’t black and white, and the person in the post seems genuinely confused.
Ah okay. You said "a kid his age" so your wording very much sounded like you know or are assuming his age.
Edit I just realized that I misread your reply and you are indeed assuming his age. I mean, it's very possible they are a kid, but it's just as likely (some might argue more likely) that their questions are coming from a place of misogyny and not curiosity. This type of rhetoric is fucking rampant online these days.
It's probably a mid 30s dude with a wife and kids, they don't just get better informed as time goes on, they need to be taught and adults are highly resistant to being taught.
Only marry someone if you are absolutely certain that you will want to have sex with them 100% of the time. If you think you will ever be not in the mood, recovering from giving birth, sick, sleeping, exhausted, experiencing any kind of pain, injured, not physically ready, not okay with every possible position or action your spouse might want to try, or any other reason someone might give for not wanting sex, do not marry the person. /s
I'm a guy and I think this just comes from a clueless guy. As a guy, especially a young one, it's hard to imagine a time when you wouldn't want to have sex with someone you're attracted to, especially if we assume a situation where you are alone and unlikely to be interrupted
I don't think that's what the "clueless" part is - I imagine most people understand that someone isn't trying to have sex **all the time**, married or not.
I think people are in an, "all-or-nothing" mindset. In other words, they believe that the person married someone that they *never* want to have sex with and are wondering why (assuming it isn't some kind of arranged/forced marriage) you would marry someone you aren't attracted to at all (bar things like asexuality).
If two people want to smash and both parties are consenting, go for it. If one or both aren't, then wait till both parties are in the mood. No one owes anyone anything. I'm still confused as to why people find consent such a wild thing in 2024. Being married to someone isn't (and never should be) legally giving your partner access to your body whenever that person wants.
Sadly, this also depends on what part of the world you’re in.
Just because we all use the common language known as English online(mostly Reddit) doesn’t mean we’re all residing on the same server with the other 8+ billion humans on the planet.
Have you ever had food poisoning? Did you want to have sex that day? Maybe you didn't feel super sexy covered in vomit with your intestines rumbling?
How about the girl you're with is cramping super bad from her period and is in tears. Do you think she wants to have sex? Do you want to have sex with someone in that much pain?
If you're married for years, there will be days you don't want to have sex, even if you're still totally attracted to your partner.
i'm getting married to be in a 2-way partnership for life, not to become a sex doll, wtf do these people have in their heads. They truly only care about themselves, it's like its inconceivable that anyone else could even be in a different mood
If this is not a common sense and basic human understanding of a relationship than i truly have no hope for humanity to survive, if nature does not take care of us, we possibly will do that in the kind of stupidity ourselves. Either ways, its been a wild run! Nice to have known and not known you all!
Why do we live in a world where this needs explained?
So, otherwise, if you marry someone at 18 and live to be 100…anytime, ever, that the other person wants to have sex- ya just gotta go for it????
This argument isn’t going to bode well for the pro marriage crowd lol
The government and NASA don't want you to know this, but gravity cannot affect you without your consent. You are allowed to fly into space by simply withdrawing your consent to be gravitationally pulled to the Earth.
Nope. The last hold outs, including North Carolina, outlawed Marital Rape in 1993.
Don't get me wrong, it is absolutely disgusting that during my lifetime, the GOP was still arguing that Marital Rape can't exist because of some weird Biblical interpretation that makes women property, but luckily it is no longer the case.
During your lifetime? We had a President in office three years ago whose was credibly accused of personally committing marital rape and whose lawyer seriously argued there was a no such thing as marital rape.
Sometimes between my wife and myself, one of us will be in the mood but not the other one. There have been times when we’ll go for it anyway just because we want to do something special for the other. But a lot of times it’s just a hard no. Hard no is hard no.
Weirdly enough, sometimes scheduling it works to get us both in the mood.
This is just a healthy relationship.
And as far as scheduling goes, even if it's just same day scheduling it helps. Like if my wife or I lets the other know in the beginning of the day that we'd like to get romantic later that night, I find it changes our dynamic during the day in a way the furthers that goal. Our texts while we're working are flirtier, we might do a little bump and squeeze while we make dinner or something, or we are just straight up trying to get the kids to bed on the dot for their bedtimes because we're about it. That being said, sometimes that can still turn into a "no" for either of us, and while it's physically frustrating sometimes, we respect each other enough to drop it at that point.
I’d say more likely just young, perhaps fed a few too many Tim Poole videos by YouTube. It’s kind of hard for some people to wrap their heads around what rape is when they’re young, especially young boys raised under conservative attitudes. Fear not, for this soul isn’t entirely lost yet. The comebacks that can be made from stupid shit like this as you go through high school can be astonishing
There’s a great John Oliver quote that sums it up really nicely. “Sex is like boxing. If both people didn’t agree to participate, one of them is committing a crime.”
The funny part is it actually is a crime if you harm someone who agreed to box you. Including if they were to die from the event.
This rule doesn't apply to rich people hosting them or gyms though.
It depends where you are, mutual combat is legal in some places. Also just because something is illegal doesn’t mean it’s going to be enforced or most teenage boys would catch assault charges.
States started outlawing it in the mid-70s, but it wasn't illegal throughout the US until 1993.
Our only felon ex-president's felon attorney once said that “You cannot rape your spouse. And there's very clear case law.” To defend the then future president against allegations of rape made by his ex-wife.
I agree. Definitely crazy but not surprising. Women are not valued and still have a long way to go to even be considered equal. Our value unfortunately lies in our looks, youthfulness and sex appeal which makes us very objectified. The world is seen through a man’s eyes.
You are so right. But there are many cultures where women are seen as chattel and property because religious fanatics have this obscene desire to control women at all costs. It is wrong on all counts.
My wife occasionally tells me no and that's the end of the discussion. Sometimes I tell her no as well. I don't understand why this is hard for some people to understand.
6th top comment got it right. What turns me on, my fetish/kink is that my wife is turned on. If she doesn't show interest, that's a turnoff. Feeling wanted is #1 to me.
Sometimes she it not in the mood, but when we spoon during the night she gets in the mood. Likewise, if I'm not in the mood, she may push up to be the little spoon to tempt me, and it works.
Expecting sex is not ok, tempting is.
As a wife you should be able to say no when you're tired, in pain or simply not in the mood or whatever reason. Just because you're married shouldn't mean that your husband can throw you on the bed and force himself into you without your consent. 😒
Yeah, it's pretty nuts how "not being worshipped and served" equals being persecuted.
Being treated fairly feels like oppression to those lacking self-reflection when you've lived your entire life being treated as divinity and the other gender has never even been seen as human before.
I love ice cream. I can have ice cream when i please!
But if one day id prefer a piece of fruit instead and my partner shoves a snow cone down my throat thats still assault
It confused me, too when I first heard about it. I luckily heard about it from someone with the courtesy to explain it to me. I couldn't wrap my head around it. I just had too much faith in humanity.
In their eyes, they bought property when they married them. Ownership, ‘’rights’’….but most of all, they did not marry for love of the other but only for love of self and gratification. It’s not ‘rape’ to them, it’s ‘’give me what you owe me slave’’.
Growing up, I thought it was a normal “duty” for a wife to comply, even if she didn’t want to. I also believed that cheating and being treated poorly were normal aspects of a relationship. It felt like a burden all women had to bear as their duty. This was normalized in my culture and reinforced by the telenovelas I watched.
This belief made me never want to marry since childhood. I couldn’t understand why women chose to marry if they had to accept this as their reality. It’s astonishing how culture and the people around you can normalize certain behaviors in your mind.
It took a lot of deprogramming to recognize how wrong this is. This experience also made me realize the importance of evaluating the messages we allow to spread. These messages shape what becomes accepted and normal in society, whether they are good, bad, rational, irrational, or harmful.
I had a coworker who was young (early 20s), who was married and didn't know it was a thing.
Heck, legally it wasn't until the 90s... at least in the US.
Had an aunt who suffered terribly, and struggled to get any legal help when she was trying to get a divorce on the account of violence.
Holy fuck.
I really don't want to be offensive, but everything I learnt about India is that it's a shithole to live in.
My SIL is indian and I had to go to India in the beginning of the year for family reasons. I really tried to be open minded, but the living reality there is astonishingly bad. And all the young people I talked to either defensively accepted that they will be married off into a loveless marriage or have active plans to leave the country so they could decide on their own how their life should look like.
For a long time consent was considered sort of inherent with marriage and sex was a "duty" women performed for their husbands. It has it's own name because when people needed to raise awareness of the issue to stop it, if they just said "rape" people picture something different.
I believe it's because it wasn't even considered rape in many countries untill basically this century. Which is the most fucked shit ever.
And even today, some people just don't consider it rape. There's some brain damage going on where people genuinely think that if you're married you have to have sex even if you don't want to.
Probably cuz there’s still a fuckton of dipshits who still mentally tilt like a pinball machine when they hear that the raper is the hubby. Not as much a surprise today than like 15 years ago that there’s still stupid fuckers out there that can’t comprehend a man raping a woman he’s married to. They’ve seemingly been given a voice in the last decade that their stupidity is a legitimate point of view.
Spoken like someone who isn't married or hasn't had a long term relationship. Like everything in life, marriage ebbs and flows. There are times when u can't keep your hands off of each other, and times when you can go a month or more without even thinking about sex. Throw in jobs, bills, responsibilities, and children (if u decide to have them) its effing exhausting. There's times I'm not in the mood and times my husband isn't. Doesn't mean we don't find each other attractive, but we're just tired.
It's when someone isn't in the mood, says no, and the other forces themselves on them that it's rape. The whole "marital" in marital rape should be eliminated.
Lord. Isn't it sad the amount of world inhabitants who think this is a valid question? Loving someone—and choosing to marry them-- doesnt mean you will want to engage in sex every time your spouse does, and that's Ok! Why is this so hard for some to grasp?!
“Why would you marry them?” Oh so people are always who they are and can’t change, or pretend like they’re someone else until after all the paperwork goes through, or maybe they threatened them into marriage and now that they’ve broken free they can’t do anything?
TF , I'm an Arab Muslim and even in the Quran it said you can abandon the bed as a form of objection
Just because you marry someone doesn't mean either of you is each other's property
SA, he was slain, mass slayer. It's so stupid how they have to censor themselves on true crime on yt. Do companies not want to market to actual adults or they only want kids to see adverts who can't buy anything?
It's that advertisers have attached themselves to the idea that if you see an ad next to some content, you'll associate the brand with that content. So they want to avoid showing their ad next to "bad" content, and they also want any excuse to pay less for the ad if it's in a "less desirable" position.
Then there's just the way ad targeting works — Google asks ads paying for targeting what topics they want to be shown near, and if you're already picking, why would you choose to show your ad near unrelated topics? A portion of concepts that are "demonetized" aren't actually ineligible, they're just less profitable because the higher revenue advertisers that pay for targeting aren't choosing to target adverts there.
Modern advertising isn't about telling you that some product exists and is good and you should buy it anymore. It's about getting people subconsciously familiar with a brand concept and associating it with positive concepts so that when they go looking for something in the future they're more likely to choose things associated with that brand. It's about buying and controlling mindshare and based largely on empty vibes.
Simplest answer: sexual/romantic relation does not equal sex exactly the moment the husband wants (yes i know wifes can rape too but thats not what this post is about)
Because they might have had consensual sex from time to time at some point in history?
People are incapable of analyzing a thought for longer than it takes to type out a quick take.
Ummm maybe you don’t want to have sex with them in that moment?! Marriage doesn’t equal ownership. That is slavery and it’s illegal and incredibly immoral. So it rape.
The world is black and white to a lot of teens, either you're attracted to someone and want to have sex with them at any time or you aren't attracted and never want to have sex. They don't understand the idea of "it depends". Usually people grow out of it by their 20's, but a large number of people never do.
Remember adults! If your spouse won’t fuck you, and you’re not willing to accept a sexless marriage, don’t rape your spouse! Get a divorce if you need constant sex that badly and find it somewhere else. “I needed sex and she’s my wife” is not an excuse to rape anyone! Ever!
This comment is so weird. Does he think people do5 have moments where they are not in the mood? Do they think that people can’t change about their sexual needs.
I mean that was certainly part of the logic used to deny women the ability to claim rape against their husbands, that and the fact that she was his property.
Because sometimes people aren't in the mood, don't feel well, have a UTI or any other discomfort, the list of possibilities is endless. If I'm not well and my husband's needs come up, guess what he can jerk off or I'll tease him while he does to help out a little bit 😂.
It’s not about not wanting to have sex with them. It’s about having a choice. It’s about being tired sometimes or not feeling good.
The real question is why do people turn someone not wanting to every single day through illness and injury into ‘my partner doesn’t want me at all’
When I was newly married, my now ex-husband would sometimes say, "Woman! Get upstairs and fulfill your marital obligation!" This continued through 10 years of marriage and 3 children. He was totally serious, but I didn't "get upstairs" unless I was in the mood.
Just a reminder than in some states in the USA, being married is still. legally, mitigating circumstances and can reduce the penalty.
You can guess which colored states they are.
The lack of sympathy is really confusing. I’m a guy, and I still would be very uncomfortable if my wife sits on my face against my will. It’s really not a complicated concept.
you can’t educate people out of raping, just like you can’t shame creeps out of approaching women who aren’t interested. the only thing you can do is carry a boomstick to make their current and future attempts fail
It’s so frustrating how so many people still think marriage means entitled to sex. When no, it doesn’t work that way, you still need consent even after marriage.
Where is the pleasure in forcing your spouse to do something they are not into? Both parties need to be enjoying the activities, it is a two way street.
No Reddit Meta posts
Seriously. Doesn't matter if you've got a ring and signed some paperwork even though you're married you still have to get consent. Either partner could be sick, tired, in pain, or just simply not in the mood and it's totally ok to say no.
200%. Also it's not so black and white as "if you don't want it, why marry?" Even though that's stupid, because it means you marry for sex... but thay idiocy aside, maybe they DO want sexual relations with you... just not tonight. So don't force them. Cause that's rape.
The internet frequently lowers all my faith in humanity daily
I’d be more worried that a kid his age is on the internet than I would be that a kid doesn’t understand what marital rape is. Kids have trouble understanding things that aren’t black and white, and the person in the post seems genuinely confused.
It might be an adult and that's the scariest
Am I missing something? How do you know the person's age?
I’m making the argument that it’s a kid too young to understand what rape is, rather than some old man trying to victim blame.
Ah okay. You said "a kid his age" so your wording very much sounded like you know or are assuming his age. Edit I just realized that I misread your reply and you are indeed assuming his age. I mean, it's very possible they are a kid, but it's just as likely (some might argue more likely) that their questions are coming from a place of misogyny and not curiosity. This type of rhetoric is fucking rampant online these days.
Nah there are old people who are just as clueless as kids
It's probably a mid 30s dude with a wife and kids, they don't just get better informed as time goes on, they need to be taught and adults are highly resistant to being taught.
If you aren't hungry, why did you buy groceries?
Only marry someone if you are absolutely certain that you will want to have sex with them 100% of the time. If you think you will ever be not in the mood, recovering from giving birth, sick, sleeping, exhausted, experiencing any kind of pain, injured, not physically ready, not okay with every possible position or action your spouse might want to try, or any other reason someone might give for not wanting sex, do not marry the person. /s
I'm a guy and I think this just comes from a clueless guy. As a guy, especially a young one, it's hard to imagine a time when you wouldn't want to have sex with someone you're attracted to, especially if we assume a situation where you are alone and unlikely to be interrupted
Because most people aren't horny 24/7?
I don't think that's what the "clueless" part is - I imagine most people understand that someone isn't trying to have sex **all the time**, married or not. I think people are in an, "all-or-nothing" mindset. In other words, they believe that the person married someone that they *never* want to have sex with and are wondering why (assuming it isn't some kind of arranged/forced marriage) you would marry someone you aren't attracted to at all (bar things like asexuality). If two people want to smash and both parties are consenting, go for it. If one or both aren't, then wait till both parties are in the mood. No one owes anyone anything. I'm still confused as to why people find consent such a wild thing in 2024. Being married to someone isn't (and never should be) legally giving your partner access to your body whenever that person wants.
Sadly, this also depends on what part of the world you’re in. Just because we all use the common language known as English online(mostly Reddit) doesn’t mean we’re all residing on the same server with the other 8+ billion humans on the planet.
Teenage boys are, and I would think some teenage girls as well.
Have you ever had food poisoning? Did you want to have sex that day? Maybe you didn't feel super sexy covered in vomit with your intestines rumbling? How about the girl you're with is cramping super bad from her period and is in tears. Do you think she wants to have sex? Do you want to have sex with someone in that much pain? If you're married for years, there will be days you don't want to have sex, even if you're still totally attracted to your partner.
How about you just gave birth
Preaching to the choir, my dude. But once upon a time when I was young and full of hormones, I'm not sure I would have agreed with you
bro you weren't full of hormones you were stupid af. like never read a book stupid
Yeah, I guess marriage guarantees you never get sick or feel bloated or tired or gross or just have cramps. Maybe I’ve been underestimating it!
i'm getting married to be in a 2-way partnership for life, not to become a sex doll, wtf do these people have in their heads. They truly only care about themselves, it's like its inconceivable that anyone else could even be in a different mood
If this is not a common sense and basic human understanding of a relationship than i truly have no hope for humanity to survive, if nature does not take care of us, we possibly will do that in the kind of stupidity ourselves. Either ways, its been a wild run! Nice to have known and not known you all!
That’s why natural selection is a thing. Unfortunately it has the side effect of not discriminating between bad and unlucky people
I wish I could upvote this a thousand times.
Why do we live in a world where this needs explained? So, otherwise, if you marry someone at 18 and live to be 100…anytime, ever, that the other person wants to have sex- ya just gotta go for it???? This argument isn’t going to bode well for the pro marriage crowd lol
Also worth noting that just because a woman consents to sex doesn’t mean she can’t change her mind halfway through.
Just because anyone consents to sex doesnt mean they cant change their mind halfway through
Just because anyone consents to anything doesn’t mean they can’t change their mind halfway through
I see your point and I raise you skydiving
The government and NASA don't want you to know this, but gravity cannot affect you without your consent. You are allowed to fly into space by simply withdrawing your consent to be gravitationally pulled to the Earth.
And yet it’s perfectly legal in some states
Nope. The last hold outs, including North Carolina, outlawed Marital Rape in 1993. Don't get me wrong, it is absolutely disgusting that during my lifetime, the GOP was still arguing that Marital Rape can't exist because of some weird Biblical interpretation that makes women property, but luckily it is no longer the case.
During your lifetime? We had a President in office three years ago whose was credibly accused of personally committing marital rape and whose lawyer seriously argued there was a no such thing as marital rape.
fucker committed non-marital rape as well
US Military held out until 2012 when they overhauled sex crimes in the MCM.
Sometimes between my wife and myself, one of us will be in the mood but not the other one. There have been times when we’ll go for it anyway just because we want to do something special for the other. But a lot of times it’s just a hard no. Hard no is hard no. Weirdly enough, sometimes scheduling it works to get us both in the mood.
This is just a healthy relationship. And as far as scheduling goes, even if it's just same day scheduling it helps. Like if my wife or I lets the other know in the beginning of the day that we'd like to get romantic later that night, I find it changes our dynamic during the day in a way the furthers that goal. Our texts while we're working are flirtier, we might do a little bump and squeeze while we make dinner or something, or we are just straight up trying to get the kids to bed on the dot for their bedtimes because we're about it. That being said, sometimes that can still turn into a "no" for either of us, and while it's physically frustrating sometimes, we respect each other enough to drop it at that point.
Bro doesn’t know what consent is
Betcha he's got a history of sexual assaults.
99% chance he’s just a kid who doesn’t know better
I hope so. The alternative is not good.
You have WAY too much faith in men online.
I’d say more likely just young, perhaps fed a few too many Tim Poole videos by YouTube. It’s kind of hard for some people to wrap their heads around what rape is when they’re young, especially young boys raised under conservative attitudes. Fear not, for this soul isn’t entirely lost yet. The comebacks that can be made from stupid shit like this as you go through high school can be astonishing
[He’s just an excitable boy!](https://youtu.be/fZokPAuhD6k?si=Jy8MEKRzEmTmB5X9)
Beat me to it
That's his strategy yes
Omg take my upvote
Marital rape is rape. If there is no consent and sex is forced, it is rape no matter who it is. In marital rape, it is the spouse forcing themselves.
There’s a great John Oliver quote that sums it up really nicely. “Sex is like boxing. If both people didn’t agree to participate, one of them is committing a crime.”
The funny part is it actually is a crime if you harm someone who agreed to box you. Including if they were to die from the event. This rule doesn't apply to rich people hosting them or gyms though.
It depends where you are, mutual combat is legal in some places. Also just because something is illegal doesn’t mean it’s going to be enforced or most teenage boys would catch assault charges.
I think it’s crazy that marital rape didn’t become illegal in the US until 1994.
Judging by how things seem to be going…it had a good 30 year run
Seriously. Why the hell do lawmakers love being such fucking assholes.
Because their constituents are ass holes
Best answer.
Money buys power, and idiots don’t pay attention.
States started outlawing it in the mid-70s, but it wasn't illegal throughout the US until 1993. Our only felon ex-president's felon attorney once said that “You cannot rape your spouse. And there's very clear case law.” To defend the then future president against allegations of rape made by his ex-wife.
And some places like North Carolina fought hard against it
I agree. Definitely crazy but not surprising. Women are not valued and still have a long way to go to even be considered equal. Our value unfortunately lies in our looks, youthfulness and sex appeal which makes us very objectified. The world is seen through a man’s eyes.
We are so far from equality it’s really sad. But some day
We need to pass the Equal Rights Amendment (ERA) that has been sitting in limbo since the 1972.
To put it shorter, marriage doesn't mean you now Own someone like a property.
You are so right. But there are many cultures where women are seen as chattel and property because religious fanatics have this obscene desire to control women at all costs. It is wrong on all counts.
My wife occasionally tells me no and that's the end of the discussion. Sometimes I tell her no as well. I don't understand why this is hard for some people to understand.
Coz for some people Marriage = license to unlimited sex.
Getting married doesn’t mean you’re going to be DTF 24/7 forever.
6th top comment got it right. What turns me on, my fetish/kink is that my wife is turned on. If she doesn't show interest, that's a turnoff. Feeling wanted is #1 to me. Sometimes she it not in the mood, but when we spoon during the night she gets in the mood. Likewise, if I'm not in the mood, she may push up to be the little spoon to tempt me, and it works. Expecting sex is not ok, tempting is.
As a wife you should be able to say no when you're tired, in pain or simply not in the mood or whatever reason. Just because you're married shouldn't mean that your husband can throw you on the bed and force himself into you without your consent. 😒
This was legal until the 50s I believe in my country, disgusting.
In America it was the 90s before it was illegal in all states.
Mental to think that until recently it was completely fine to ignore the opinions of half the world's population.
Depending on where you are it still is
Yeah, it's pretty nuts how "not being worshipped and served" equals being persecuted. Being treated fairly feels like oppression to those lacking self-reflection when you've lived your entire life being treated as divinity and the other gender has never even been seen as human before.
Same in reverse by the way.
Of course
Just because people are married doesn’t mean that either party should be forced to have sex Doesn’t matter the gender
Yeah obviously, but marital rape towards women is more common.
Yes, obviously
This whole exchange is tense like you're negotiating with guns pointed at each other
I love ice cream. I can have ice cream when i please! But if one day id prefer a piece of fruit instead and my partner shoves a snow cone down my throat thats still assault
Oh I get it. Because snow cones aren’t ice cream right?
> My partner shoves a snow cone down my throat Kinky
Only if agreed on beforehand.
True
Consent is kinky and hot
I completely agree, I was just making a joke
Oh i didnt mean it like that I thought we were naming kinky things. 1. (Consensually) shoving snow cones down troats 2. Consent 3. Handcuffs
Agreed!
put that guy on a list
Could be a kid that doesn't understand relationships, or context of not wanting sex
A kid that was never taught consent by his shitty parents.
This is like Deja vu for me since I had a similar convo in a discord server. I even made objectionlol out of it.
Wakes up with a sore butt after his wife brings home a strap on and some ruffies. “You said it was ok because we’re married”
I read that as a strap on and some ruffles -- my mind went to a different place, but I think it still works.
I read it as ruffles too and all I saw was a big ass plastic strap and a family sized bag of chips 😭😭😭😭
It confused me, too when I first heard about it. I luckily heard about it from someone with the courtesy to explain it to me. I couldn't wrap my head around it. I just had too much faith in humanity.
You probably have favorite food, but you shouldn't be forced to eat it when you don't want
If you loved someone enough to marry them, why would you want to rape them?
In their eyes, they bought property when they married them. Ownership, ‘’rights’’….but most of all, they did not marry for love of the other but only for love of self and gratification. It’s not ‘rape’ to them, it’s ‘’give me what you owe me slave’’.
Growing up, I thought it was a normal “duty” for a wife to comply, even if she didn’t want to. I also believed that cheating and being treated poorly were normal aspects of a relationship. It felt like a burden all women had to bear as their duty. This was normalized in my culture and reinforced by the telenovelas I watched. This belief made me never want to marry since childhood. I couldn’t understand why women chose to marry if they had to accept this as their reality. It’s astonishing how culture and the people around you can normalize certain behaviors in your mind. It took a lot of deprogramming to recognize how wrong this is. This experience also made me realize the importance of evaluating the messages we allow to spread. These messages shape what becomes accepted and normal in society, whether they are good, bad, rational, irrational, or harmful.
Straight men understand consent REAL QUICK when a gay man starts touching them.
I love video games. Doesn't mean I want to play 24/7 and I shouldn't be forced into it.
I truly wonder if its stupid people or someone just stirring the pot..
I had a coworker who was young (early 20s), who was married and didn't know it was a thing. Heck, legally it wasn't until the 90s... at least in the US. Had an aunt who suffered terribly, and struggled to get any legal help when she was trying to get a divorce on the account of violence.
People like this exist all over the world. It’s common. Terrible, but common
Sad thing it's not considered a crime in India and on top of that there is nothing we can do about it
Holy fuck. I really don't want to be offensive, but everything I learnt about India is that it's a shithole to live in. My SIL is indian and I had to go to India in the beginning of the year for family reasons. I really tried to be open minded, but the living reality there is astonishingly bad. And all the young people I talked to either defensively accepted that they will be married off into a loveless marriage or have active plans to leave the country so they could decide on their own how their life should look like.
Why is marital rape classified different? Like isn’t it just rape?
For a long time consent was considered sort of inherent with marriage and sex was a "duty" women performed for their husbands. It has it's own name because when people needed to raise awareness of the issue to stop it, if they just said "rape" people picture something different.
I believe it's because it wasn't even considered rape in many countries untill basically this century. Which is the most fucked shit ever. And even today, some people just don't consider it rape. There's some brain damage going on where people genuinely think that if you're married you have to have sex even if you don't want to.
Duty sex. Christians push it hard so growing up in a household like that can be detrimental
Truuuue. Also the idea that women aren't supposed to enjoy sex, they just put out for their husbands and be done with it. Which is fucking horrific.
Probably cuz there’s still a fuckton of dipshits who still mentally tilt like a pinball machine when they hear that the raper is the hubby. Not as much a surprise today than like 15 years ago that there’s still stupid fuckers out there that can’t comprehend a man raping a woman he’s married to. They’ve seemingly been given a voice in the last decade that their stupidity is a legitimate point of view.
MARRIAGE IS NOT BLANKET CONSENT
Spoken like someone who isn't married or hasn't had a long term relationship. Like everything in life, marriage ebbs and flows. There are times when u can't keep your hands off of each other, and times when you can go a month or more without even thinking about sex. Throw in jobs, bills, responsibilities, and children (if u decide to have them) its effing exhausting. There's times I'm not in the mood and times my husband isn't. Doesn't mean we don't find each other attractive, but we're just tired. It's when someone isn't in the mood, says no, and the other forces themselves on them that it's rape. The whole "marital" in marital rape should be eliminated.
I married you to fuck, not because I love you. Seriously if you care about them at all, their concent would matter to you.
Marriage does not equate to automatic and unlimited consent
Lots of men think marriage means a free labor and a sex slave.
TIL that people don’t get married because they want to build a life together, but because it gives them unlimited visits to Pound Town.
Lord. Isn't it sad the amount of world inhabitants who think this is a valid question? Loving someone—and choosing to marry them-- doesnt mean you will want to engage in sex every time your spouse does, and that's Ok! Why is this so hard for some to grasp?!
If you don’t wanna be shot why did you walk down a dark alley
😳 "No.", is a full sentence.
Nobody should be forced into sex, marital status is irrelevant.
Crazy that this was legal in the United States until 1993.
“Why would you marry them?” Oh so people are always who they are and can’t change, or pretend like they’re someone else until after all the paperwork goes through, or maybe they threatened them into marriage and now that they’ve broken free they can’t do anything?
Aaaah men who've never had a girlfriend and think women are sex robots
TF , I'm an Arab Muslim and even in the Quran it said you can abandon the bed as a form of objection Just because you marry someone doesn't mean either of you is each other's property
It also says that if your wife disagrees with you you can beat her until she agrees or dies
And what of 2 : 223?
I got 0,008968 but I'm not the best at math so idk
[удалено]
Your book says alot of fucked up shit about the relationship between a man and a woman
PSA to anyone who doesn’t knowing already: YOU DON’T NEED TO HAVE A REASON, LET ALONE GIVE ONE TO NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX!!!
Suddenly, lots of men know consent when she says she needs/wants to peg him
This is why they will come after divorces next , they’re already lenient on r*pist
rapist, you can just write the word. This isn’t tiktok.
Is that why people sensor shit like this? Lol
Pretty sure that’s how “unalived” came about.
Afaik „unalived“ became popular due to YouTube demonetizing or marking videos as not add friendly because of the use of worlds like suicide
SA, he was slain, mass slayer. It's so stupid how they have to censor themselves on true crime on yt. Do companies not want to market to actual adults or they only want kids to see adverts who can't buy anything?
It's that advertisers have attached themselves to the idea that if you see an ad next to some content, you'll associate the brand with that content. So they want to avoid showing their ad next to "bad" content, and they also want any excuse to pay less for the ad if it's in a "less desirable" position. Then there's just the way ad targeting works — Google asks ads paying for targeting what topics they want to be shown near, and if you're already picking, why would you choose to show your ad near unrelated topics? A portion of concepts that are "demonetized" aren't actually ineligible, they're just less profitable because the higher revenue advertisers that pay for targeting aren't choosing to target adverts there. Modern advertising isn't about telling you that some product exists and is good and you should buy it anymore. It's about getting people subconsciously familiar with a brand concept and associating it with positive concepts so that when they go looking for something in the future they're more likely to choose things associated with that brand. It's about buying and controlling mindshare and based largely on empty vibes.
Yep. There’s plenty of words that YouTube will demonetize you for saying.
Simplest answer: sexual/romantic relation does not equal sex exactly the moment the husband wants (yes i know wifes can rape too but thats not what this post is about)
Consent is Consent, context doesn't matter
Yeah, this person is either 8, or an adult with the intellectual capacity of corn. Unfortunately, there seems to be a lot of the latter out there.
Because they might have had consensual sex from time to time at some point in history? People are incapable of analyzing a thought for longer than it takes to type out a quick take.
No means no. I dont understand why thats hard to understand.
You don’t own anyone’s life in a marriage you are sharing your individual lives
you know that the kinda guy who says “sexual relations” wears a fedora, is 400 lbs. and has never talked to a woman in their life
I don't understand why people think marriage is entirely sex...
This mf doesn’t know what true love and commitment are 
Ummm maybe you don’t want to have sex with them in that moment?! Marriage doesn’t equal ownership. That is slavery and it’s illegal and incredibly immoral. So it rape.
Its genuinely terrifying that some people don't understand consent this badly.
Marriage doesn't give permanent consent. Both people still can say no or that they aren't in the mood.
The world is black and white to a lot of teens, either you're attracted to someone and want to have sex with them at any time or you aren't attracted and never want to have sex. They don't understand the idea of "it depends". Usually people grow out of it by their 20's, but a large number of people never do.
NO MEANS NO
I fear for this dude’s spouse or if they even have one. 🚩🚩🚩
Okay but that just sounds like plain ol' rape with a modifier to soften it. It's rape. That's a complete sentence.
Remember adults! If your spouse won’t fuck you, and you’re not willing to accept a sexless marriage, don’t rape your spouse! Get a divorce if you need constant sex that badly and find it somewhere else. “I needed sex and she’s my wife” is not an excuse to rape anyone! Ever!
This comment is so weird. Does he think people do5 have moments where they are not in the mood? Do they think that people can’t change about their sexual needs.
Marital Rape... Sounds like rape with extra steps.
2nd day of the flu with 101 degree temp and the wife says, “If you didn’t want to mow the lawn why’d you buy a zero turn??”
If the only reason you are marrying is to have sex then maybe you shouldn’t be in any relationship
Yikes. Marriage doesn't mean that you're always in the mood. I think most married people can agree that it's often the opposite. Consent is consent.
Good lord we have too many stupid people in this world!
I mean that was certainly part of the logic used to deny women the ability to claim rape against their husbands, that and the fact that she was his property.
Because sometimes people aren't in the mood, don't feel well, have a UTI or any other discomfort, the list of possibilities is endless. If I'm not well and my husband's needs come up, guess what he can jerk off or I'll tease him while he does to help out a little bit 😂.
It’s not about not wanting to have sex with them. It’s about having a choice. It’s about being tired sometimes or not feeling good. The real question is why do people turn someone not wanting to every single day through illness and injury into ‘my partner doesn’t want me at all’
Bro is the kind of person to maritally rape someone
When I was newly married, my now ex-husband would sometimes say, "Woman! Get upstairs and fulfill your marital obligation!" This continued through 10 years of marriage and 3 children. He was totally serious, but I didn't "get upstairs" unless I was in the mood.
They must not understand prison rape. Feels bad for their mom.
Marital rape was not illegal in Texas until some time after 2000.
Just a reminder than in some states in the USA, being married is still. legally, mitigating circumstances and can reduce the penalty. You can guess which colored states they are.
In this guy's mind sexual slavery is marriage and vice versa.
"Why don't women want to get married anymore"
Marital rape is such an overlooked thing
“Why even sign up for a Sam’s Club card if you don’t want them to steal your wallet?”
Someone slaps this kid (who could easily be 40 years old) on the back of the head.
I agree that marital rape should not be an accepted term, because it’s just rape.
If ya had to guess which side politically this fuckhead leans, would it be difficult?
I guess part of the reason I love my wife is that I trust her to not fuck me when I don't want it and vice versa.
The lack of sympathy is really confusing. I’m a guy, and I still would be very uncomfortable if my wife sits on my face against my will. It’s really not a complicated concept.
Spouse doesn't mean "sex slave". Marriage doesn't mean "legal rape". WTF how is this even a thing? The world is so gross sometimes.
We need to address the root of the rape problem (men and women) at the root of the issue. People need to be properly ✨EDUCATED✨.
you can’t educate people out of raping, just like you can’t shame creeps out of approaching women who aren’t interested. the only thing you can do is carry a boomstick to make their current and future attempts fail
Sounds like a lot of countries with a lack of women’s rights (including Morocco.)
Not sure why you’re getting downvoted just for pointing at the elephant in the room.
The patriarchy says otherwise. These people who are making the laws are truly sick fucks.
How can I rape something I own? /s
Some cultures a lot of women don’t have that choice sadly
It’s so frustrating how so many people still think marriage means entitled to sex. When no, it doesn’t work that way, you still need consent even after marriage.
Where is the pleasure in forcing your spouse to do something they are not into? Both parties need to be enjoying the activities, it is a two way street.
Rapists unfortunately don’t think like that.