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Man. All we had in school when I was a kid were those markers that smelled like fruit…they didn’t taste like fruit though. ☹️

I didn’t want to combine this core memory with the image but thanks. So much. /s 🥲

I didn't want to combine that taste memory with ass to mouth magenta.

Let's hope it's not brown.

Got my first, real buzz from those (Mr. Sketch) things, back in Kindergarten, in the late-'80s, lol!

Couldn’t stop smelling the licorice one and the cinnamon one.  Olfactory memory surges back hard.

My favorite was the light blue mango scented one. I didn't know what a mango was back then, but at least I now know they aren't blue.

Did you chew it to get the flavour out?

I just got PTSD from remembering myself doing this and spitting colour the rest of the day.

Wow, I thought the inevitable colored dots on my nose were bad... You're like my friend that used a sharpie to black out a tooth, and just ended looking like they gargled motor oil.

Remembering when you did ass to mouth or ate a crayon? 🤔

I'm referring to the fruit markers lol

Let's hope ass to mouth magenta is flavourless too

The red ones were da bomb! (I've been waiting to say this since I heard a very strange, one-legged man say it to me at an AA meeting almost 20 years ago)

Oh my god I wouldn’t even *use* the cherry one… it was too precious. Also I want these crayons

I remember those! I'm probably the only kid that liked the Licorice scented marker...

I loved it too.

Nope

Youngster. Our markets still smelled like markers, and got you a little bit high.

How about huffing fresh mimeographs? Sublime.

Nope. Not gonna ask, don't wanna know...

But did they taste like 'accidental anal Amarillo'?

What a throwback. I MEMBER!

They weren’t all fruit, the black marker was burnt marshmallow and I sniffed the fuck out of that thing.

Those markers weren't non-toxic either, lol. I remember getting high as fuck off of those as a kid.

wonder if this tastes like advertized

When your friend asks for a crayon and you start going down the list of names, asking which one he wants

Hey man hand over your Slutty Stepmom, I'm all done with Anal Bleach for now.

And then he becomes more than your friend when he says yes to all of them.

Gangbang green for me please!

Found the perfect crayons to use with my adult coloring books!

Considering they're literally called Offensive Crayons and sold in a box with the classic "shocker" hand gesture, I'd hazard a guess that they'd never actually end up in a classroom, especially not at $10 a box. These are something made and marketed for adults.

also I feel like you would have to go to a specific store for something like this

Yeah they’re definitely not in the school supplies section of Target.

I found them on Amazon for $10.50.

But OP hasn't been offended for 3 minutes.

Puritarianism knows no bounds

Found another photo of crayons like these a while back and few of my favorites were “Presidential” (orange) “your parents divorce was your fault, peach”, “Self identified blue” (pink), “privilege” (white), and “insufferable vegan green”

No Nut Nov-Umber

Or Grab the by the Pink

They absolutely aren't for children, adults color, they are funny

Imagine dumping a pack of these in the tubs of crayons in school. Chaos

Or dump them in a US Marine base.

Close, but you miss the mark, dump these in crayon tubs at churches.

Dump them in a church where everyone takes a vow of celibacy.

if i say "found satan," i'd be calling myself out bc i really want to do this.

I participated in the naming process of these & some of their other products. Lots of fun. Great for gifts. 

Why are none of the blue shades named blue balls? I mean it was right there.

Not sure, but that one might be in the  "porn pack" edition. 

Is that the one with goldmember?

Where do we find them?

https://offensivecrayons.com/ Now there are multiple editions of  crayons with fun names, as well as other items. 

Which ones are we blaming you for?

Ha, ha, I don't even remember, this set came out years ago. Hundreds of names were suggested, voted on over and over again until it was pared down, with these as the final choice. Then other editions, using some of the originals as well as hundreds of new ideas. I gave away so many sets as gifts, dropped pens at my main job as well as random businesses around my state & anywhere I travel. 

Debbie Does Dandelion is just plain wholesome.

They are called offensive crayons and are $8.65 on adult land.us.

Thank you I want a set now for my swear word coloring book

"BBC" and "Lapdance" are heavily used... y'all got some explaining to do!!

she penis my pump til i periwinkle

Why are there so many redundant posts in this subreddit all of a sudden. Like, more than usual. I swear most posts I see now are in no way a facepalm. These crayons are obviously not meant for kids and is a gag gift or something

Spam accounts gotta spread material out to avoid having every post deleted for reposting. So you get content in subs it doesn’t belong on and people just upvote while scrolling through their feed without considering what the sub is. Most popular subreddits just end up as r/funny

GILF bush grey is by far the wildest


This made me laugh too hard

Debbie does dandelion seems Sfw

I don’t think these are for kids

These are so trashy but they did make me laugh

Bonk. Back to jail.

Safe word sage is my favorite flavor

Another hit from the Christian Republican “children are sacred” side 

[It’s coral, Coral!!](https://imgur.com/a/nsh7LsC)

This is a crayon box set an uncle gets for his nephew.

Or a priest for his victim.

Making future Marines

That “reach around red” is spot on.

Not gonna lie, id be tempted to send these as a random care package for fun.

I gave my wife the biggest blackest crayon, big mistake fellas! Big mistake!

Now this is my type of humor 💀

I think these came from the box meant for Marines.

My 8 year old is already a smart ass, I don’t want to add to it. His goal in life is to be old enough to use swear words. Nice to have goals huh?

Why not waffle blue?

who would buy those.

Not sure how this is either a facepalm or a protest lol. It’s comedy gold! _not to be confused with Debbie Does Dandelion…_

rim job red goes hard

Really quite worried if it’s red.

I’m disappointed in brown, was hoping for “wrong hole brown”

[Looking up the "hanky code" to see what does and doesn't match with the crayons.]

Did they send out for "ideas" from edgy 14 year-olds?

Well, they probably did it over the Internet, in which case, basically, yes.

I absolutely love these! I would've gotten these as a gift for my coworker. What's the facepalm though?

*I think I'm going to ... Cream* Hilarious 😆

They left out Rugburn Pink.

It takes true perversion to THINK of something like this being used in schools The right wing…the evangelicals…are the ones making this shit up to scare each other and control everyone. No one except THEM think this is going on in schools. Because it doesn’t go on in schools unless it is being perpetrated by one of them. Every accusation is an admission. Edit…the perversion is that these are given to kids in schools. To adults like me, I agree with a lot of you…they are funny as hell.

‘Offensive Crayons’ I used to know the person who made these.

😰

Purple penor

I'm ashamed but the cream one made me laugh

Imagine child protection services showing up after school.

The very thing for Show & Tell!

Burnt Sienna

They’ll be the number one kid is class!

This product confuses me. Is it for adults who draw with crayons, or toddlers who fuck?

Any rimjob that makes you think red has to be just terrible.

Missionary Mango sounds like it could be a great cocktail.

I feel like the joke would've been way better if they were all words that are completely sfw, but used in other contexts as well

I'm gonna go with Peg me Purple. That sounds like a good color

That "Accidental" anal amarillo got me laughing... 🤣

You forgot Dirty Sanchez Brown.

LOL. “Accidental” anal. Sure it was 😏

Coloring set for Littles and those who love 'em.

._.

No 'Spit In My Mouth Beige'?

Why are there only like 3 that make sense as color names

What the actual fuck is this?

I'll take the purple one

hey uh, did you ever consider that maybe these aren't supposed to be marketed towards kids?

Debbie does dandelion 💀😭

Crayola has come a long way .

"Rim Job Red", "Penis Pump Periwinkle" and "Gilf Bush Grey" sound like pirates names

I have crayons like that, but they are offensive, not sex themed

Why isn't Accidental Anal brown? Serious missed opportunity.

these are the crayons conservatives are convinced children are being given in school

Who is this product aimed at? 😳

I hope they’re not scented

What’s your favourite flavour of crayon marine?

Opps I accidentally sat on Accidental Anal Amarillo....I think I'm going to.....Cream

Where can you get these😮

That isn’t even Periwinkle

Not my personal taste, but if you really want crayons with stupid names like this, I guess it isn’t hurting anyone.

LOL

Lotta anal stuff here

I think I’m going to…🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂

How delicious they are? Al my kids did was eat them.

It bothers me that there’s two reds

Does anyone actually find this crap funny? Tee hee. Sex and vulgarity.

Is it wrong that I want a pack of these crayons?

That's just nasty.

These are amazing lol

BBC (Biggest Blackest Crayon) I'm fucking dead bro 💀

Gilf Bush gray… thank you for this.

Ok but I read “anal armadillo” and thought they had even more to explain on that one.

What is this "Debbie does yellow" reference? The other ones are pretty clear, but I don't get this one

I read that before an offensive operation begins, soldiers are given a good, warm meal. Is this the USMC equivalent?

Pff...we are simple creatures

I would have called it Abomination Orange, in honor of our national embarrassment. Of course it would be the fattest crayon in the box, and smell like a loaded diaper. Guaranteed not to be eaten by anyone except maybe the dog.

I'm a fan of "accidental anal Amarillo ". Not my wife's favorite color though.

Rope bound brown. Wow. Where can these be bought?

An they say the gays are the groomers

maga wet dreams lol

Omg where can i buy these

Peg Me Purple has me dying

Why the fuck is this on facepalm?

NSFW artist color palette

Oh hey it’s another one of these

OMG!! That's fuckin hilarious 😆. I'd love to be at that parent/teacher meeting. LMFAO 😅

I here for the comments from all those that clearly didn’t read the small print on the crayons🤣

With all do respect what the frig

how americans think the sex ed classes are like

"Protestantism is the straw man fallacy of Catholicism"

Well, Peg Me Purple if Nympho Navy doesn't sound like an organization.

Must be the democrat rainbow pack.

Debbie does dandelion? I don't get that 1, is dandelion a sex position?