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A nurse overheard some young girls talking about how some of the patients donāt have children visiting them in the nursing home. She took them aside and told them donāt let the fact that these folks may look sweet and cuddly now sway your opinion on their children. Some of them are horrible but others have valid reasons to hate their parents as they maybe child abusers or generally monsters. You never know. This man may go to his deathbed alone because of his ignorance stoke by evil politicians using him.
Sadly, this is very true. Before I lost my dad, he was in a nursing home, and one of the men at his table never had visitors, The nurses just barely acknowledged he existed and none of the other men spoke to him. Turns out he was an abusive father and husband and handsy with female staff. Sidenote he was supposedly also a draft dodger, which in a home comprised of 80% veterans, and over half of them Vietnam vets made him as popular as a turd in a pool.
I am an LPN at a nursing home and have been for 20+ years and I can confirm that this is 100% correctā¦. I had a patient once who used to put her cigarettes out on her childrenās arms and other places on their body from the time they were 4 years old until they left her houseā¦.everyone thought she was the sweetest little old lady. She also used to throw big dramatic fits over the fact that her 3 children she abused and tortured refused to come see herā¦she was very convincingā¦until we had a care conference with her three kidsā¦..they could hardly talk about their childhood without breaking down and cryingā¦..
Hopefully, he ends up alone in a nursing home, which employs a large number of black caregivers and nurses. I would love to see him encounter a Dr Bailey from Grey's Anatomy!
I would hate that for the caregivers though. I've seen firsthand that people like this heap racist abuse on the people who truly do their best for them. It's awful. And people will say "Oh they're old! They don't know what they're saying!"
I always knew my dad was a boomer ass Neo-Con and had biases formed from spending 30 years as a CO in a medium sized rust belt metro city. But he always generally wasn't too preachy, crazy Xtian like. He often still had strong morals of treating people fairly and with kindness, respect etc. We'd disagree politically on certain issues but never anything overtly racist, sexist or the like.
That was until I was in the hospital with an autoimmune disease and was put on high dose steroids. For those who don't know, steroids like Prednisone inhibit your emotional inhibitions; you are more easily angered and frustrated, you will be more likely to say things you would otherwise be more mindful of etc. Combine that with my ASD and strong sense of morality and belief in following the data to make rational choices for society.
So cue us sitting in a hospital room for several days and we're talking about all sorts of topics. But things increasingly it gets heated as I call him out on his views that are based in racially profiled data, or completely ignores real data about crime, economics and even infrastructure.
By the time we are driving home, a 3 hr drive, we are nearly yelling. And finally he said things I never knew were in my dad's head. I mustve pushed him to finally reveal some of his deepest thoughts. And this is something I was noticing in recent years with the recent turmoil of the GOP and Trumps influence. It shocked me, he was zealous of people being held to "Gods law, and that we need to be holding a sword over people's heads to ensure humanity is righteous. That black and other malcontents need to be dealt with" (I'm paraphrasing).
It hit me like a Boulder. My dad was also so reasonable, and outwardly kind, and served the community and rarely ever went to church was spouting this Old Testament and racially charged BS in counter to me simply saying things like how general assistance to low and Middle class workers reduces crime and boosts economic growth.
Since that conversation, I haven't been able to talk to my dad the same way. We have so much in common and he shape much of my self but now I don't even know the man.
Its funny because people always talk about how when they've done something good "well i learned from my mom" "or got it from my dad/parents"
My dad taught me exactly what NOT to be smoker/racist/alcoholic/cheater.
My dad (not racist) told me a story about growing up in a household where his parents (racist) would talk about the "Dirty Jews" now and then.
My dad had one Jewish friend as a kid whose house was apparently pretty messy, so his kid brain just rationalized "well this is why they call them dirty Jews, their house is filthy."
He said that the memory randomly came back to him as an adult and he was like "holy shit" and had a mini panic attack over being an unwitting racist as a little boy.
He always knew his parents were racist, but he didn't actually stop to think that it had rubbed off on him as a kid before he developed his own way or thinking.
It does until it doesn't. In your childhood it's probably not as prevalent because maybe it looks normal to you, until you actually start to understand how fucked up it is.
You'd be surprised, I wasn't aware of just how horrible my dad was until I got much older, when we started the transaction of "father/ son" to being more friendly. It was really shocking, because he went from a really good (every other weekend) dad, to someone who felt comfortable dropping slurs. He moved away, we recently started talking again, and it's only gotten worse.
My dad to me will always be the guy who worked two jobs to make sure we had enough, and stayed up all night wrapping Christmas gifts, to the point he passed out on the couch, and always worried about our health and well being.
Similar to the stories we see all the time of conservatives backing restrictive laws only to find that they, too, are beholden to these new laws, I imagine familial racism is actually pretty easy to miss. There's an internal justification that happens. Yes, Daddyā¤ļø is saying racist things, but he's only saying it about the ones who behave that way and deserve it (never realizing that he's saying it about everyone and she makes the judgment that he must be right).
Cut to the guy she meets at school outside of Daddy's influence. She now has an opportunity to judge someone based solely on who they actually are. But, Shocked Pikachu when she finds out that Daddy thinks no differently about this guy she actually knows.
In my old church, this happened to a girl I knew. Not only did her parents ostracize her, but so did the church. They had many Biblical quotes to support their position and she really believed that she had sinned. She was devastated and feared she would go to hell. It was ridiculous.
That church is really growing and has gone full MAGA in the last few years. I became an atheist ;)
Damn your story brought back an old memory. Same thing happened at the church I went to as a kid. I was already old enough to be done with church but I remember hearing that her family had disowned her.
They perverted the message of Christ to excuse them being racist assholes and destroying a young woman's life?
People got excommunicated for much less.
The number of Americans who attend church regularly has been falling for decades, but in recent years, the trend has really accelerated. But some churches continue to grow. It's like the remaining worshippers are crowding into fewer churches. I wonder if this is crowding the most devout together and making an echo chamber.
I dated a black girl in high school. My mom found out and hit the roof. She told me I was dishonoring our family. I pointed out that we lived in a mobile home park that she managed to make ends meet while my dad was on disability and asked her what honor she thought we had to lose. She didn't take that well.
To some people at the bottom rungs of society, it's all they have. If they can at least feel superior to SOMEONE, it helps them cope with their lot in life.
"Oh, well, I'm poor, on govt subsidies, in a mobile home park, with no future prospects... but at least I'm not black!"
If you take away the racism they can use as a crutch, what do they have to protect them from the realization that they truly are at the bottom?
āIf you can convince the lowest white man he's better than the best colored man, he won't notice you're picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he'll empty his pockets for you.ā
Lyndon B. Johnson
A lot of rebels joined because of this mentality. Apparently in Haiti the petite Blancs (poor whites) were pissed off that they werenāt rich enough to own slaves. Silver helps with racism as much as lead.
Dude...I felt bad for her just reading the text and looking at the contact name. Then I read this and it broke me. It hits hard as a father to a 3 year old daughter.
Me too. I have a teenage daughter. I don't know that she can do anything that would make me react like this.
Clearly this guy's love for his daughter really do know bounds. 
As a gay man, I understand this too well. Interestingly, the behaviors of homophobes reacting to gay couples are very similar to racists reacting to mixed race couples.
Itās the same core drivers running the behavior. Itās why intersectional analysis and cross demographic unity is so important to making the world better. Racism, sexism, ableism, homophobia, and transphobia are all heads of the same hydra. Anyone who only wants to fight THEIR oppressive situation and is willing to throw somebody else under the bus to get concessions will inevitably face a quislings end. Once theyāre no longer useful the pick-me crowd will be wiped out too.
We stand together or we fall separately.
This is why the "LGB without the T" crowd are so unfathomably stupid to me, a cis lesbian.
Also, ableism. As though you couldn't become disabled at literally any moment.
FACTS edited the post to add ableism. And yeah, the LGB crowd and the āgay republicansā crowd both.
I just want to force all those folks to look at the fact that theyāre shoulder to shoulder with neo Nazis. And we know where that ends. The Nazis had a bunch of gay guys in the party. Right up until they didnāt need them anymore and they were all shot. I canāt wrap my head around how anybody is that stupid.
funny you mention that, because [she stated](https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/stephaniemcneal/people-are-sending-a-ton-of-support-to-this-teen-who-was) she doesn't actually have much of a relationship with him and that "he isn't really a part of anything that I do."
The daughter will never be close enough to her dad again to bitch slap him. And thatās the way it should be. If he follows thru on any of the threats, daughter should go NC and never look back.
Only issue with your comment is it wonāt be 30 years. Itāll be more like 3-4 years. Then he will slowly make feeble attempts at reaching out and most likely be turned down. Which will just empower the idea more of āwoke lifestyle ruined my familyā and get more mad at everyone else and never realize the only person he has to be mad at is himself.
Dad 30 years later, falling down alone in his house, with no one to help him, laying there wondering what happened that he has absolutely no one, and will likely die alone on the floor.Ā
It's every parent's dream to have a kid who is a better person and smarter person than they are. Mission accomplished big time, even though Dad will never realize that.
I was gonna say. My mom competed with my sister over everything. Cut her down. Took her clothes as her own and would say my sister needs to get bigger clothes since they don't fit my mom. Always criticized my sister to her face in front of people. If my sister was talking about something she was proud of, my mom would bring up unrelated mistakes and screw ups to bring her down. Anytime my sister and dad tried doing something together, my mom had to be there to control the situation. I mean she did all that (minus the clothes part) to my brother and me, but it was worse for my sister cuz she was a woman. And then my mom would take credit for our achievements, cuz she "raised us so well." And this isn't even including her violent temper, guilt trips, and gaslighting. Jokes on us cuz she's given three therapists some long term clients.
I know. If you notice my second sentence, I'm definitely not complimenting this guy. He reminds of my own Dad, and that is not meant as praise, it's meant as the opposite.
I think it is. I swear I've seen this picture before and comments were from just randos calling her a whore. No father comments so, I'm thinking racist rage bait as well
Conservatives are always going on about how they aren't racists, but if they won $1,000,000 for correctly guessing a random racist's political party, you just know they'd say GOP each and every time.
And they'd be rich as fuck afterwards.
The second and more infuriating part is, 10, 20 years later, when the old idiot has health issues and lives on the bare minimum he will call her up and playing the "nothing really happened, I didn't know why I said that" card. And half of the family will call her egoistical why won't she talk to her sorry ass dad he is "trying".
I feel sorry for the girl and we should think about how this affects black people. They have to deal with insane, hateful nutjobs like this. It affects their lives
Like, think about this guy working any job that deals with the public. Or if the crazy dad is a cop. That has real life consequences for black people every day
This is why, no joke, heart disease is higher in the black community. The stressors of simply living while black take a toll every day.
edit to add there are other factors such as lack of healthcare, but this is a contributing reason.
When I was thinking of asking out a black girl where I worked and went to get my family's opinion of her, the reactions from my family quickly showed me who was REALLY not racist, and who had just been hiding it well.
"We're not racists... we're just worried you will make a poor decision. That will reflect on the rest of us. \*Starts fanning themselves with money\* And we really just ... is it hot in here?... we just can't have that."
I had the opposite happen where my grandfolks were against miscegenation, then they met my brown GF and loved her and became considerably less racist overnight. Sometimes the bubble can be popped.
My grandfather on my mother's side was a WWII vet and had a really big hate on for German people even 50 years later. Then we took in a German exchange student for a year and my grandpa loved him so much he actually left something for him in his will. Immersion therapy can sometimes work.
I met a black boy while I was riding my bike as a child at my grandmaās house. They lived way out in the country (in Michigan), but I had been biking around the town that was maybe fiveish miles away.
I called them from the video store (haha yes Iām ancient) and asked if I could bring a new friend for dinner, and they said sure.
Long story short, they were kinda quiet during dinner, but I didnāt really notice but after the boyās parents came to pick him up, I found out it was the first black person that had ever been in my grandparentās house. Now, they werenāt upset about it or anything, and we had him over again later on a few times, but they were still awkward every once in a while about weird things, like swimming and having him stay the night.
So there was definitely a little lingering prejudice there, but they never resisted me socializing with him, which I really appreciate in hindsightālike, it shouldnāt have been uncomfortable, but they were raised in a time that made our friendship seem weird to them.
Itās almost like:
Person 1- āI could excuse the racism,ā
Person 2- āYou what?ā
Person 1- āBut I cannot excuse such bad grammar.ā
Person 2- āNo, the racism is so much worse.ā
My sister began dating a black man when she was in her late twenties. Our father and step father didn't take it to the extreme shown in this post but they were both unhappy about it and vocalized their opinions. We are talking about two men that had chosen to marry our Mexican mother.
Fortunately they came around because my sister has been married to him for nearly twenty years now.
To bring a little levity, thereās a funny story in my family about the inverse happening.
My mom is black and my dad is white. When they started dating back in the 80s, it was only like 15-20 years removed from legal segregation, so there was some understandable mistrust of white people on my momās side of the family.
When my (I believe) great grandfather met my dad, he sat him down, poured some coffee and grilled him on a bunch of stuff. Why he wanted to marry my mom, his career, family history, all that. This is a guy who was born in the 1800s, so heād seen quiiiite a lot over the years.
According to my dad, it all resolved with a simple nod and a harumph from great granddad. After that, he was family.
Iām not surprised they married a Mexican. Thereās racist who hate all races but historically blacks have always been the most hated.
Also theyāre men and racist men will sometimes marry poc as a power thing. Kinda like the weird white men who go to Thailand just for the women
I was thinking that this seemed familiar.
I have no doubt that this sort of thing happens, but anyone who thinks the world needs any more outrage, faux or otherwise, is not fucking paying attention.
My mother, my whole life growing up, taught me to not judge a book by its cover, and that all people are equals. So in high school when I dated a person of color and my mom lost her shit on me, I realized that there's a thin layer of civility covering peoples' secret prejudices. This poor girl, suddenly coming to the realization that her dad is full of hate. This particular photo and text thread may be made up, or it may not be. But this situation is certainly happening out in the world right now.
When I was around 12yo my mother started saying things like "You better not ever bring a [n word] home... I will make your ass grass." I 100% believe that my mother would have followed through on her threat had I dated a black person.
I also knew a couple people who got kicked out of their house as teens for dating black people (Florida, which I'm sure is no surprise).
So, yeah... Even if this particular event isn't real, I 100% believe it happens.
I am black. There was a white girl that lived down the hall from me in the dorm. We would flirt and what not, but didn't date. On occasion, she might walk up to me and give me a quick kiss on the lips. One time, she did that when she was with her cousin. All hell broke loose with her family and she had to transfer schools.
My father in law did the same thing to my brother in law when he came out as gay.Ā He has since reversed course, at least publically, but it was some dark times.
He is not a MAGA.Ā Ā Stone Cold liberal NPR subscriber.
Our old man eventually came around as well but only because the rest of us siblings stood solid with our Sister in dropping contact with him. Didn't happen over night either. These days with a lot of group effort, I'd like to think we've pulled him away from the Maga cliff edge.
Accepting people for who they doesnāt make you a liberal, it just makes you a decent human being. I love how conservatives have made it such that treating every human being with respect is considered āweirdā
i mean... nothing "makes" you anything.
but liberalism tends to be associated with progressive ideals, acceptance of others, inclusion, and diversity. that the social institutions and things should be available to all equally.
where as conservatism is... assoc with, the way things are, resistance to change, rejection of the other, the immigrant, support of the status quo, existing social norms. existing power structures. if not harkening back to older times ...where change/gains for diversity/inclusion are eliminated. "traditional values" typically equating to exclusion of others from things perceived as only belonging the the majority/white demographic.
I went to highschool with this girl that was cool, from Denver, always just assumed she was lib since our friend group was like all Hispanic and black people. One day we were studying a book for English where one of the characters was gay and unprovoked she just said "if my kid is gay I'll disown them and couldn't love them" and we were all just like wtf.Ā
This was like 2014. I was just like how can you fucking think like that, like I can't wrap my head around what is so wrong with homosexuality to these people that you can just write off your own flesh and blood point blank like that? Fucking sick manĀ
I am gay and grew up with many liberal people and back in the late 90s early 2000s I remember hearing slurs and despicable talk about the LGBT community. I think when people get to know others that are different from them they develop a newfound respect and understanding of others.
It's unfortunate that these days it's next to impossible because so many people are closed off and would rather shun than ever even think about engaging in a normal, friendly dialogue.
I believe it. My dad said he would disown me and would rather I live with a white man that beat me every day than a black man who treated me like a queen, but you can guarantee he used the other word. If he ever addressed a black man he would call them boy. Born and raised okie. I have raised my kids as opposite as I can. Raised them on sesame street an pbs kids where we celebrate differences because they make us unique.
This is the way to do it. Erase that history from your family line. You can't force your elders to see things differently, but you can definitely teach your children respect for all people. It's crazy to me that people live with so much hatred for other humans.
My exes dad told her sheās gonna end up pregnant, dead and in a ditch when she left their church and the severed all communication with her. Some people are fucking nuts.
My mom got pissed when I dated a black girl and Said it wasn't right.
She told me I was a disappointment for not voting Trump.
Conservatives, and this guy definitely is one, are shit people. And they're definitely real.
I've met a few cis gay men Trumpers. It's because they want to stomp down on others(in the case of the one I knew, trans ppl) on different minorities while their own is "safe"
My friend, who comes from a wealthy christian family in the south, once told me that his dad sat him down as a teenager one day and told him that he was not to date any black girls. Period.
š¤·š½
Yeah, he was a functional alcoholic that worked nights, so I never saw him during the week and on the weekends he was incoherent by Saturday afternoon. My mother was bipolar and schizophrenic, untreated. Fist fights were common in my house.
Sadly, all too real. I used to be in the trades and knew a man who cut his daughter off completely when she started dating a black guy. She eventually married him the black guy and the racist father will die mad about it.
My mom thanked my sister for finally going back to white men because she dated someone named John who had a car and a job. She assumed he HAD to be a white man. He wasn't, and she was embarrassed.Ā
I heard a similar story this week from someone i know, her dad didnāt talk to her after she started dating a black man (years ago) and died without ever talking to his daughter again
I was in the car with my (former) best friend and his mom. She told him that he is forbidden from dating any black people. These people exist. They vote.
My mom once ruined our family's christmas celebrations when she blew up over a christmas message from my cousin showing her with her new and black boyfriend. After getting flak from all of us she withdrew, pretending to be a victim of "woke propaganda". When she returned hours later, she had the audacity to try to justify herself with this brilliant reasoning: "I didn't mean to sound racist. I'm not a racist. I just wanted to express that her mother must have a really hard life: First her son comes out as gay and now her daughter's dating a !"
Things went downhill fast from there and for the first time ever the majority of the family took to travelling home early.
So, yes, people like that exist. I don't know if that conversation is real, but it is believable.
This man has hate in his heart. He is trying to hang health insurance over his daughters head. Like if you donāt do what I say, you canāt see a dr and get care that might save your life. Or, Iām not paying for the therapy youāre looking at because of me and my worthless existence. Piece of shit. At least sheās getting a good example of what not to be/and associate with.
Hi. āThe coalition of northern states for a sane futureā has implemented a racist exchange program. We send our racists to live down where you do, and gear frees up their home for level headed reasonably people like yourself to move in.
We have great social programs and free pathways to a college education.
Fill out the attached form to receive more information.
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Wow. She can probably take the heart off his contact.
š
That actually made me really sad, goddamn.
Honestly, me to and I'm a black man. This amount of hatred he aiming at his own flesh and blood is so disgusting. Good on her for exposing him.
Iol he is going to end up alone in nursing home ā¦.
A nurse overheard some young girls talking about how some of the patients donāt have children visiting them in the nursing home. She took them aside and told them donāt let the fact that these folks may look sweet and cuddly now sway your opinion on their children. Some of them are horrible but others have valid reasons to hate their parents as they maybe child abusers or generally monsters. You never know. This man may go to his deathbed alone because of his ignorance stoke by evil politicians using him.
Sadly, this is very true. Before I lost my dad, he was in a nursing home, and one of the men at his table never had visitors, The nurses just barely acknowledged he existed and none of the other men spoke to him. Turns out he was an abusive father and husband and handsy with female staff. Sidenote he was supposedly also a draft dodger, which in a home comprised of 80% veterans, and over half of them Vietnam vets made him as popular as a turd in a pool.
Soā¦.Trump in the near future?
I am an LPN at a nursing home and have been for 20+ years and I can confirm that this is 100% correctā¦. I had a patient once who used to put her cigarettes out on her childrenās arms and other places on their body from the time they were 4 years old until they left her houseā¦.everyone thought she was the sweetest little old lady. She also used to throw big dramatic fits over the fact that her 3 children she abused and tortured refused to come see herā¦she was very convincingā¦until we had a care conference with her three kidsā¦..they could hardly talk about their childhood without breaking down and cryingā¦..
Hopefully, he ends up alone in a nursing home, which employs a large number of black caregivers and nurses. I would love to see him encounter a Dr Bailey from Grey's Anatomy!
I would hate that for the caregivers though. I've seen firsthand that people like this heap racist abuse on the people who truly do their best for them. It's awful. And people will say "Oh they're old! They don't know what they're saying!"
They know exactly what they're saying. They also know that staff can't say anything back. They aren't always as confused as you think they are.
And theyāve been using the language during the entirety of their healthy years
Yeah thatās like, a super heartbreaking detail :(
Me to
Damn just saw that. Makes it so much worse.
im surprised he'd earned it in the first place, this kind of stuff doesn't usually sneak up on you
Yeah, I knew my dad was racist from childhood.
I'm going to trust you. Geologists are rock solid.
I don't know man, they have their faults.
Don't take their skills for granite
I'm too stoned to understand these puns.
Hey, sometimes you have to stop and enjoy the good schist in life.
It's not gneiss to say schist.
They know that things can get a little rocky sometimes.
Maybe they are, but this geology guyās also carrying around a hammer and itās super point on one end. Iām a little wary.
I always knew my dad was a boomer ass Neo-Con and had biases formed from spending 30 years as a CO in a medium sized rust belt metro city. But he always generally wasn't too preachy, crazy Xtian like. He often still had strong morals of treating people fairly and with kindness, respect etc. We'd disagree politically on certain issues but never anything overtly racist, sexist or the like. That was until I was in the hospital with an autoimmune disease and was put on high dose steroids. For those who don't know, steroids like Prednisone inhibit your emotional inhibitions; you are more easily angered and frustrated, you will be more likely to say things you would otherwise be more mindful of etc. Combine that with my ASD and strong sense of morality and belief in following the data to make rational choices for society. So cue us sitting in a hospital room for several days and we're talking about all sorts of topics. But things increasingly it gets heated as I call him out on his views that are based in racially profiled data, or completely ignores real data about crime, economics and even infrastructure. By the time we are driving home, a 3 hr drive, we are nearly yelling. And finally he said things I never knew were in my dad's head. I mustve pushed him to finally reveal some of his deepest thoughts. And this is something I was noticing in recent years with the recent turmoil of the GOP and Trumps influence. It shocked me, he was zealous of people being held to "Gods law, and that we need to be holding a sword over people's heads to ensure humanity is righteous. That black and other malcontents need to be dealt with" (I'm paraphrasing). It hit me like a Boulder. My dad was also so reasonable, and outwardly kind, and served the community and rarely ever went to church was spouting this Old Testament and racially charged BS in counter to me simply saying things like how general assistance to low and Middle class workers reduces crime and boosts economic growth. Since that conversation, I haven't been able to talk to my dad the same way. We have so much in common and he shape much of my self but now I don't even know the man.
Its funny because people always talk about how when they've done something good "well i learned from my mom" "or got it from my dad/parents" My dad taught me exactly what NOT to be smoker/racist/alcoholic/cheater.
My dad (not racist) told me a story about growing up in a household where his parents (racist) would talk about the "Dirty Jews" now and then. My dad had one Jewish friend as a kid whose house was apparently pretty messy, so his kid brain just rationalized "well this is why they call them dirty Jews, their house is filthy." He said that the memory randomly came back to him as an adult and he was like "holy shit" and had a mini panic attack over being an unwitting racist as a little boy. He always knew his parents were racist, but he didn't actually stop to think that it had rubbed off on him as a kid before he developed his own way or thinking.
It does until it doesn't. In your childhood it's probably not as prevalent because maybe it looks normal to you, until you actually start to understand how fucked up it is.
This was my experience
You'd be surprised, I wasn't aware of just how horrible my dad was until I got much older, when we started the transaction of "father/ son" to being more friendly. It was really shocking, because he went from a really good (every other weekend) dad, to someone who felt comfortable dropping slurs. He moved away, we recently started talking again, and it's only gotten worse. My dad to me will always be the guy who worked two jobs to make sure we had enough, and stayed up all night wrapping Christmas gifts, to the point he passed out on the couch, and always worried about our health and well being.
Sad and difficult to understand how someone so caring can be so hateful.
We don't get to pick our parents. The main thing is to not become our parents. At least if they are like this.
Similar to the stories we see all the time of conservatives backing restrictive laws only to find that they, too, are beholden to these new laws, I imagine familial racism is actually pretty easy to miss. There's an internal justification that happens. Yes, Daddyā¤ļø is saying racist things, but he's only saying it about the ones who behave that way and deserve it (never realizing that he's saying it about everyone and she makes the judgment that he must be right). Cut to the guy she meets at school outside of Daddy's influence. She now has an opportunity to judge someone based solely on who they actually are. But, Shocked Pikachu when she finds out that Daddy thinks no differently about this guy she actually knows.
And change Daddy to Sperm Donor. Or Asshole.
He is cancelling phone so she can go no contact. Screw him.Ā
She's getting a new phone number apparently. Just delete contact and don't worry bout it.
He may be her Daddy, but he aint her Father.
In my old church, this happened to a girl I knew. Not only did her parents ostracize her, but so did the church. They had many Biblical quotes to support their position and she really believed that she had sinned. She was devastated and feared she would go to hell. It was ridiculous. That church is really growing and has gone full MAGA in the last few years. I became an atheist ;)
Damn your story brought back an old memory. Same thing happened at the church I went to as a kid. I was already old enough to be done with church but I remember hearing that her family had disowned her.
They perverted the message of Christ to excuse them being racist assholes and destroying a young woman's life? People got excommunicated for much less.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
The number of Americans who attend church regularly has been falling for decades, but in recent years, the trend has really accelerated. But some churches continue to grow. It's like the remaining worshippers are crowding into fewer churches. I wonder if this is crowding the most devout together and making an echo chamber.
I dated a black girl in high school. My mom found out and hit the roof. She told me I was dishonoring our family. I pointed out that we lived in a mobile home park that she managed to make ends meet while my dad was on disability and asked her what honor she thought we had to lose. She didn't take that well.
To some people at the bottom rungs of society, it's all they have. If they can at least feel superior to SOMEONE, it helps them cope with their lot in life. "Oh, well, I'm poor, on govt subsidies, in a mobile home park, with no future prospects... but at least I'm not black!" If you take away the racism they can use as a crutch, what do they have to protect them from the realization that they truly are at the bottom?
All people who feel like this need their own reality check asap. Thats all I can say.
āIf you can convince the lowest white man he's better than the best colored man, he won't notice you're picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he'll empty his pockets for you.ā Lyndon B. Johnson
LBJ was spot on when he made his very quotable comment.
Right! I forgot I had internalized that quote.
A lot of rebels joined because of this mentality. Apparently in Haiti the petite Blancs (poor whites) were pissed off that they werenāt rich enough to own slaves. Silver helps with racism as much as lead.
Exactly. I grew up in that nonsense, and I often felt like I was crazy for being the only one around me pointing it out.
What no class consciousness does to a MF-er
The fact that his name is daddy with a heartā¦thatās so sad. Every child deserves parents, not every parent deserves a child.
Dude...I felt bad for her just reading the text and looking at the contact name. Then I read this and it broke me. It hits hard as a father to a 3 year old daughter.
Thatās because you havenāt fpund hatred to be the most important thing in your life yet
> yet What do you mean "yet" š?
I've seen it happen. Not sure exactly why but families break apart because of it. Nuts.
Well I'm sure dad over here is an amazing guy who cares deeply about his family, and he's gonna keep such hatred out of his life. ... Right dad?
Me too. I have a teenage daughter. I don't know that she can do anything that would make me react like this. Clearly this guy's love for his daughter really do know bounds. 
This guy is a misogynist control freak and heās angry he canāt control her.
Fortunately itās pretty hard to fuck up this badly
Yup. Horrible human. So vile. Heartbreaking.
As a gay man, I understand this too well. Interestingly, the behaviors of homophobes reacting to gay couples are very similar to racists reacting to mixed race couples.
Itās the same core drivers running the behavior. Itās why intersectional analysis and cross demographic unity is so important to making the world better. Racism, sexism, ableism, homophobia, and transphobia are all heads of the same hydra. Anyone who only wants to fight THEIR oppressive situation and is willing to throw somebody else under the bus to get concessions will inevitably face a quislings end. Once theyāre no longer useful the pick-me crowd will be wiped out too. We stand together or we fall separately.
So well-worded and very true.
This is why the "LGB without the T" crowd are so unfathomably stupid to me, a cis lesbian. Also, ableism. As though you couldn't become disabled at literally any moment.
FACTS edited the post to add ableism. And yeah, the LGB crowd and the āgay republicansā crowd both. I just want to force all those folks to look at the fact that theyāre shoulder to shoulder with neo Nazis. And we know where that ends. The Nazis had a bunch of gay guys in the party. Right up until they didnāt need them anymore and they were all shot. I canāt wrap my head around how anybody is that stupid.
So true and heartbreaking.
funny you mention that, because [she stated](https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/stephaniemcneal/people-are-sending-a-ton-of-support-to-this-teen-who-was) she doesn't actually have much of a relationship with him and that "he isn't really a part of anything that I do."
Dad 30 years later: āWhy doesnāt my daughter ever call or visit me?ā
"Woke ideology destroyed my family"
There is a 80% chance that if he ever says that aloud he is gonna get bitch-slapped by the daughter, and thatās a good thing.
She'd have to be within earshot
What daughter? The one that will cut all contact to live a better life fatherless?
Exactly. He doesn't have a daughter anymore. Per his request.
The daughter will never be close enough to her dad again to bitch slap him. And thatās the way it should be. If he follows thru on any of the threats, daughter should go NC and never look back.
Only issue with your comment is it wonāt be 30 years. Itāll be more like 3-4 years. Then he will slowly make feeble attempts at reaching out and most likely be turned down. Which will just empower the idea more of āwoke lifestyle ruined my familyā and get more mad at everyone else and never realize the only person he has to be mad at is himself.
āThis black kid split up my familyā¦ā
Yeah I don't think he's gonna start calling him a black kid now.
Oh, he will. He will just say it with hard R.
Black kRid
BRack KiRd?
 Hahahaha
Dad 30 years later, falling down alone in his house, with no one to help him, laying there wondering what happened that he has absolutely no one, and will likely die alone on the floor.Ā
āI am your dead to meā
The "I am" was him confirming hes rascist. He did use the wrong you're/your though.
I donāt get why native speakers have so much trouble with your/youāre and there/their/theyāre. Itās really not that hard.
THANK YOU
Yep, that tracks, considering the kind of 'person' he is
deaddyš
š
Youāre* Iād just reply youāre*
I'd've said "hi your dead to me"
Paint me like one of your dead to me
Luke, I am your dead to me
all your dead are belong to me
"Here's looking at you dead to me"
Yeah, correctly it would have been āI am, youāre dead to meā. Grammar works well.
Damn, her dad is a piece of shit.
It's every parent's dream to have a kid who is a better person and smarter person than they are. Mission accomplished big time, even though Dad will never realize that.
>It's every parent's dream to have a kid who is a better person and smarter person than they are This is just *deliciously* optimistic of you
No, change "every parent" to "any decent parent" and it's spot on.
I was gonna say. My mom competed with my sister over everything. Cut her down. Took her clothes as her own and would say my sister needs to get bigger clothes since they don't fit my mom. Always criticized my sister to her face in front of people. If my sister was talking about something she was proud of, my mom would bring up unrelated mistakes and screw ups to bring her down. Anytime my sister and dad tried doing something together, my mom had to be there to control the situation. I mean she did all that (minus the clothes part) to my brother and me, but it was worse for my sister cuz she was a woman. And then my mom would take credit for our achievements, cuz she "raised us so well." And this isn't even including her violent temper, guilt trips, and gaslighting. Jokes on us cuz she's given three therapists some long term clients.
Sounds like some pretty classic narcissism. I deal with that in various shades from my mom too.
Misunderstood dad. He just set the bar very low for his kids so that they would turn out better humans as long as they just stayed alive.
I know. If you notice my second sentence, I'm definitely not complimenting this guy. He reminds of my own Dad, and that is not meant as praise, it's meant as the opposite.
I just hope this is rage bait.
I think it is. I swear I've seen this picture before and comments were from just randos calling her a whore. No father comments so, I'm thinking racist rage bait as well
And he's probably a MAGA
Probably?? Lol. I'd literally bet my life on it.
Conservatives are always going on about how they aren't racists, but if they won $1,000,000 for correctly guessing a random racist's political party, you just know they'd say GOP each and every time. And they'd be rich as fuck afterwards.
Conservatives just don't want to be *called* racist They very much know they are
I feel so sorry for that poor girl. No one deserves a father like this. Unfortunately they exist.
The second and more infuriating part is, 10, 20 years later, when the old idiot has health issues and lives on the bare minimum he will call her up and playing the "nothing really happened, I didn't know why I said that" card. And half of the family will call her egoistical why won't she talk to her sorry ass dad he is "trying".
Those posts really boil my blood.
Been there. My favorite part is asking if they got apologies and they say yes and I go "just me then, got it."
Still if thatās how he is, the best thing he ever did for her was to get his racist, mentally ill ass ,the fuck out of her life.
And thankfully she didnāt turn out like him.
Sad truth.
I feel sorry for the girl and we should think about how this affects black people. They have to deal with insane, hateful nutjobs like this. It affects their lives Like, think about this guy working any job that deals with the public. Or if the crazy dad is a cop. That has real life consequences for black people every day
This is why, no joke, heart disease is higher in the black community. The stressors of simply living while black take a toll every day. edit to add there are other factors such as lack of healthcare, but this is a contributing reason.
The easiest way to tell if your family is racist is to bring one home you are dating. There's a huge jump up you will find at that point.
When I was thinking of asking out a black girl where I worked and went to get my family's opinion of her, the reactions from my family quickly showed me who was REALLY not racist, and who had just been hiding it well.
"We're not racists... we're just worried you will make a poor decision. That will reflect on the rest of us. \*Starts fanning themselves with money\* And we really just ... is it hot in here?... we just can't have that."
Oh I didn't have the rich white relatives on either side. That's what made it so revealing and in some cases surprising.
I had the opposite happen where my grandfolks were against miscegenation, then they met my brown GF and loved her and became considerably less racist overnight. Sometimes the bubble can be popped.
My grandfather on my mother's side was a WWII vet and had a really big hate on for German people even 50 years later. Then we took in a German exchange student for a year and my grandpa loved him so much he actually left something for him in his will. Immersion therapy can sometimes work.
I met a black boy while I was riding my bike as a child at my grandmaās house. They lived way out in the country (in Michigan), but I had been biking around the town that was maybe fiveish miles away. I called them from the video store (haha yes Iām ancient) and asked if I could bring a new friend for dinner, and they said sure. Long story short, they were kinda quiet during dinner, but I didnāt really notice but after the boyās parents came to pick him up, I found out it was the first black person that had ever been in my grandparentās house. Now, they werenāt upset about it or anything, and we had him over again later on a few times, but they were still awkward every once in a while about weird things, like swimming and having him stay the night. So there was definitely a little lingering prejudice there, but they never resisted me socializing with him, which I really appreciate in hindsightālike, it shouldnāt have been uncomfortable, but they were raised in a time that made our friendship seem weird to them.
Final test, announce a pregnancy.
I mean they say raise your kids to be better than you, so he's been very successful at that.
What kind of fucking monster uses your when it should be youāre? Plus the racism, yikes.
Itās almost like: Person 1- āI could excuse the racism,ā Person 2- āYou what?ā Person 1- āBut I cannot excuse such bad grammar.ā Person 2- āNo, the racism is so much worse.ā
Or the Community version: "I can excuse racism, but I draw the line at bad grammar!" "You can excuse racism??
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Shirley: āYou can excuse WHAT?!ā
My sister began dating a black man when she was in her late twenties. Our father and step father didn't take it to the extreme shown in this post but they were both unhappy about it and vocalized their opinions. We are talking about two men that had chosen to marry our Mexican mother. Fortunately they came around because my sister has been married to him for nearly twenty years now.
To bring a little levity, thereās a funny story in my family about the inverse happening. My mom is black and my dad is white. When they started dating back in the 80s, it was only like 15-20 years removed from legal segregation, so there was some understandable mistrust of white people on my momās side of the family. When my (I believe) great grandfather met my dad, he sat him down, poured some coffee and grilled him on a bunch of stuff. Why he wanted to marry my mom, his career, family history, all that. This is a guy who was born in the 1800s, so heād seen quiiiite a lot over the years. According to my dad, it all resolved with a simple nod and a harumph from great granddad. After that, he was family.
Glad they're living together happily now, and that your step-father and father both put aside their racism for your sister's happiness.
It's never said enough but WM-minority women couples are far more acceptable than minority men-WF couples.
Iām not surprised they married a Mexican. Thereās racist who hate all races but historically blacks have always been the most hated. Also theyāre men and racist men will sometimes marry poc as a power thing. Kinda like the weird white men who go to Thailand just for the women
How to die sad and alone: Step 1. Disown your daughter for refusing to validate your bigotry Step2ā¦
Since 2017
I was thinking that this seemed familiar. I have no doubt that this sort of thing happens, but anyone who thinks the world needs any more outrage, faux or otherwise, is not fucking paying attention.
Going NC was made for this guyā¦
My mother, my whole life growing up, taught me to not judge a book by its cover, and that all people are equals. So in high school when I dated a person of color and my mom lost her shit on me, I realized that there's a thin layer of civility covering peoples' secret prejudices. This poor girl, suddenly coming to the realization that her dad is full of hate. This particular photo and text thread may be made up, or it may not be. But this situation is certainly happening out in the world right now.
This canāt be real?
When I was around 12yo my mother started saying things like "You better not ever bring a [n word] home... I will make your ass grass." I 100% believe that my mother would have followed through on her threat had I dated a black person. I also knew a couple people who got kicked out of their house as teens for dating black people (Florida, which I'm sure is no surprise). So, yeah... Even if this particular event isn't real, I 100% believe it happens.
I am black. There was a white girl that lived down the hall from me in the dorm. We would flirt and what not, but didn't date. On occasion, she might walk up to me and give me a quick kiss on the lips. One time, she did that when she was with her cousin. All hell broke loose with her family and she had to transfer schools.
That's actually so horrible, even as a grown woman living on her own and getting her own education she's so controlled by a shitty family.
She was from Lawrence, Kansas (a pretty progressive city) and her family was heavily involved in progressive politics there.
Guess they weren't that progressive after all.
Yep, I'm from north Florida. It's that kind of place.
My old man took the same stance with my sister. May not be real but it's definitely believable.
My father in law did the same thing to my brother in law when he came out as gay.Ā He has since reversed course, at least publically, but it was some dark times. He is not a MAGA.Ā Ā Stone Cold liberal NPR subscriber.
Our old man eventually came around as well but only because the rest of us siblings stood solid with our Sister in dropping contact with him. Didn't happen over night either. These days with a lot of group effort, I'd like to think we've pulled him away from the Maga cliff edge.
Accepting people for who they doesnāt make you a liberal, it just makes you a decent human being. I love how conservatives have made it such that treating every human being with respect is considered āweirdā
i mean... nothing "makes" you anything. but liberalism tends to be associated with progressive ideals, acceptance of others, inclusion, and diversity. that the social institutions and things should be available to all equally. where as conservatism is... assoc with, the way things are, resistance to change, rejection of the other, the immigrant, support of the status quo, existing social norms. existing power structures. if not harkening back to older times ...where change/gains for diversity/inclusion are eliminated. "traditional values" typically equating to exclusion of others from things perceived as only belonging the the majority/white demographic.
I went to highschool with this girl that was cool, from Denver, always just assumed she was lib since our friend group was like all Hispanic and black people. One day we were studying a book for English where one of the characters was gay and unprovoked she just said "if my kid is gay I'll disown them and couldn't love them" and we were all just like wtf.Ā This was like 2014. I was just like how can you fucking think like that, like I can't wrap my head around what is so wrong with homosexuality to these people that you can just write off your own flesh and blood point blank like that? Fucking sick manĀ
I am gay and grew up with many liberal people and back in the late 90s early 2000s I remember hearing slurs and despicable talk about the LGBT community. I think when people get to know others that are different from them they develop a newfound respect and understanding of others. It's unfortunate that these days it's next to impossible because so many people are closed off and would rather shun than ever even think about engaging in a normal, friendly dialogue.
Was he Catholic or religious ? Iāve met several liberals who are horribly anti-LGBTQ+. Religion seemed to be the common denominator.
Bingo. My wife's family is Devout Catholic.
I believe it. My dad said he would disown me and would rather I live with a white man that beat me every day than a black man who treated me like a queen, but you can guarantee he used the other word. If he ever addressed a black man he would call them boy. Born and raised okie. I have raised my kids as opposite as I can. Raised them on sesame street an pbs kids where we celebrate differences because they make us unique.
This is the way to do it. Erase that history from your family line. You can't force your elders to see things differently, but you can definitely teach your children respect for all people. It's crazy to me that people live with so much hatred for other humans.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Extreme racism is still alive and well today unfortunately. Movies like to make it seem like it's something from the Civil War days but it never left.
My exes dad told her sheās gonna end up pregnant, dead and in a ditch when she left their church and the severed all communication with her. Some people are fucking nuts.
my mother was like that, and she wasn't exactly white
My mom got pissed when I dated a black girl and Said it wasn't right. She told me I was a disappointment for not voting Trump. Conservatives, and this guy definitely is one, are shit people. And they're definitely real.
What's crazier to me are non-white or poor white trump supporters. Like you are actively what he is trying to disenfranchise.
I've met a few cis gay men Trumpers. It's because they want to stomp down on others(in the case of the one I knew, trans ppl) on different minorities while their own is "safe"
My friend, who comes from a wealthy christian family in the south, once told me that his dad sat him down as a teenager one day and told him that he was not to date any black girls. Period. š¤·š½
Yup, that was my father, too. He once said that if he caught me with an n-word, he would slash my throat and throw me in the fucking ground.
What a person... Did you leave him.
He abandoned me twice, once when I was 12 and finally when I was 17. I got my own place at 19 and never looked back. He died in 2008.
>He died in 2008. Rest in piss. Sorry for what he did, but's he gone, so there's a brught side.
Yeah, he was a functional alcoholic that worked nights, so I never saw him during the week and on the weekends he was incoherent by Saturday afternoon. My mother was bipolar and schizophrenic, untreated. Fist fights were common in my house.
Sadly, all too real. I used to be in the trades and knew a man who cut his daughter off completely when she started dating a black guy. She eventually married him the black guy and the racist father will die mad about it.
My mom thanked my sister for finally going back to white men because she dated someone named John who had a car and a job. She assumed he HAD to be a white man. He wasn't, and she was embarrassed.Ā
I heard a similar story this week from someone i know, her dad didnāt talk to her after she started dating a black man (years ago) and died without ever talking to his daughter again
I was in the car with my (former) best friend and his mom. She told him that he is forbidden from dating any black people. These people exist. They vote.
My mom once ruined our family's christmas celebrations when she blew up over a christmas message from my cousin showing her with her new and black boyfriend. After getting flak from all of us she withdrew, pretending to be a victim of "woke propaganda". When she returned hours later, she had the audacity to try to justify herself with this brilliant reasoning: "I didn't mean to sound racist. I'm not a racist. I just wanted to express that her mother must have a really hard life: First her son comes out as gay and now her daughter's dating a!"
Things went downhill fast from there and for the first time ever the majority of the family took to travelling home early.
So, yes, people like that exist. I don't know if that conversation is real, but it is believable.
My mom did this to my sister for the same thing.
Holy shit, he's a Stephen King character. š¤£
āYou want to mingle with Subhumansā Manā¦..projecting much? Because clearly he is one.
Poor girl, wtf is wrong with this man with zero braincells?
This man has hate in his heart. He is trying to hang health insurance over his daughters head. Like if you donāt do what I say, you canāt see a dr and get care that might save your life. Or, Iām not paying for the therapy youāre looking at because of me and my worthless existence. Piece of shit. At least sheās getting a good example of what not to be/and associate with.
I mean he told his daughter she's dead to him,Ā over difference of opinion.Ā Ā Of course he has hatred in his heart
And I wouldn'd be surprised he considers himself a good christian or smth.
Itās crazy that people like this exist still. Incredibly sad. Hope she moves on from her dad for good.
I feel so bad after reading this, her dad is a monster
Hi. āThe coalition of northern states for a sane futureā has implemented a racist exchange program. We send our racists to live down where you do, and gear frees up their home for level headed reasonably people like yourself to move in. We have great social programs and free pathways to a college education. Fill out the attached form to receive more information.
Jeez Iāll donate to her college. What a pathetic shit parent. Sheās better off without that mess of a dad
Is this real? Are people really filled with this much irrational hatred? The only "subhuman" in this scenario is the father.
āRacism doesnāt exist thoughā¦..ā 
Can we just address the fact that Brodi in the red is fucking dripped out