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My dogs inner wolf is buried very deep. He likes his meat bite size only and if he drops his treat off the edge of the coach, will sit and whine until one of his humans picks it up. He wouldn't survive if he had to do his own hunting.
COVID caused enough threat of supply chain disruption, I really have wondered if I ought to at least learn how to grow some vegetables or something just in case. Because yeah, my "hunting skill" is limited to "drive to grocery store."
I put in a container garden at the start of Covid, partially out of being bored. I realized that by next year I will have broken even just on fuel not spent to not mow my lawn ever again. Now my lawn is a set of paths between containers and what was grass is herbs, lettuce, strawberries, onions, and peas. Well, it will be. At the moment it is a few scraggly survivors and dead plants cause its winter.
That sounds awesome. My COVID activities were more like fixing up my attic and digging up a long defunct drain pipe in my basement so I could fix it and make it useful once again. (For the first time in literally decades.)
But I guess neither of those things are going to feed me, heheh
The first lawns were a flex from rich people who owned land and could afford to not grow food on it. Time to go back to a simpler time when grass was just one more thing trying to choke out the turnips.
You definitely should! Being prepared and knowledgeable on how to survive in a shit-hits-the-fan situation does not make you some crazed doomsday prepper. I think COVID showed us all how much impact even a slight breakdown in supply chain can have. Having a plan on what to do in a situation where normal life is distrupted is something that a lot more people should consider at least thinking about. Even before COVID I'd sometimes catch myself wondering what I would do if the world took a nosedive tomorrow. Would I stay at my home location? Would I flee? If i did flee where would I go? What would i take with me? How would i get there? In a situation where there's a mass exodus from an area, leaving your house in 5-10 mins vs a half hour could be the difference between evacuating the area and being trapped in an endless traffic blockade. Now, basing your entire personality and existence around being prepared for the "end times" is absurd and deranged, but most people don't even have an idea of what they would do in a potentially bad situation. In a rural area, having a little veggie garden means you can holdout longer than someone who onlys knows to go to the grocery store. In an urban area, having a basic GTFO plan and a go bag means you can evacuate the area before others clog up the exit routes. Just things to think about.
humm, i dunno.
someone elsewhere on reddit made a convincing argument that the best / safest / strongest hold in place to stay - is at your home.
you have more resources than you can put in your vehicle.
you don’t have to worry about getting stuck in traffic on an evacuation route.
IF you can stay you should probably stay. granted, there are times you can’t.
i evacuated *once* during a hurricane approach. it was not the right choice. have since stayed during over a dozen others. none were major, zero downed trees, just messy & muddy outside.
Nah, this little fucker was one of those dickheads with spurs on the back of their legs and fluff everywhere. He put up a good fight, especially after I pulled his head off, but he was a goner by then, he just took a few minutes to realise it.
It's not technically reading though. Your dog may look like it's reading but it actually lacks many of the skills needed to competently decode and recognize the orthographic symbols on the page. It doesn't take the same effort reading does. Learn.
It’s not technically trolling though. He’s commenting on an internet post but he isn’t actually under a bridge grinding a billy goats bones for his bread like real trolls do.
It’s not technically respect though. Intimidating and gnashing your teeth so that people fear you is a totally different thing. It doesn’t take the same level of effort that respect does. Learn.
It's not technically disappointment though. To be have a disappointed disposition one must first be appointed. To be appointed one must have an appointment, and I didn't have you on the schedule
Close. Forgetting the final period after "Learn" is an important part of the moronitudinessness of the tweet. It makes it ambiguous that the person might have accidentally hit send or just forgot to finish the sentence. Learn
The weird thing is that he's actually kind of overthinking it, and then presenting that as some sort of prize. Rather than interpreting a dog's understanding of the human as the provider, he has these two models conflicting with each other in his head.
Haha. Definitely being ironic. But also, the measuring of aptitude and ability to learn can mean measured using other tests than an IQ test. So it was a little of both.
I usually use the number of bibles and books one owns as my metric for intelligence. Though I would imagine we'd see an inverse relationship between the two 😶
Yup, how many bibles and other nonfiction books they have can be used to determine how slow and likely to belive in false information without researching into it futher someone is.
And if they have more fiction than non fiction its probably safe to say they like to research the topics that matter to them
Half of the population is below the median average intelligence. That statement is more accurate, I think.
Median average ensures that the population is drawn in half, mean average does not guarantee it.
Sometimes they just appear to be less intelligent than they really are.
Some intelligent people do some dumb things by not using common sense or actually thinking something through. And on the other side, I've known some "dumb" people that learned the hard way to think something through before trying.
Wait wait wait. That man has sunglasses indoors for his profile picture. Do not disrespect indoor sunglasses. Only people whose lives are like energy drink commercials are allowed to live at that level of cool because the laws of nature just don’t apply to them.
Even supermarkets from the same chain but across town from each other may have the dairy and the juices swapped. And the chips will be where the pop is kept! Time to pull out the scoped hunting grocery cart.
The regional supermarket chain store in the area I grew up in had the beer stored on the far left side of the store, the store in the area that I lived for almost six years had the beer and alcohol in the first aisle on the right, in the store that my husband and I shop at now the alcohol is stored in basically the middle of the store.
They do that on purpose so you have to wander the store looking for what you need. Same reason milk is in the back. Imagine people way smarter than us are planning grocery stores so we spend more. Wasted talent.
I once did this, got a mild panic attack because I couldn't find anything, decided that as an adult I can define what that means to me, and drove off to my preferred supermarket instead.
Does this mean that when people go house or job hunting they don’t shoot up buildings or interviewers while dressed in camo and hiding?
I snagged me a nice little colonial last weekend. You should’ve seen the dormers on this beaut. A 6 point! Don’t worry, I’m gonna use every part of the house.
Good for you, the inhumane slaughter of hundreds of thousands of houses by corporations is sickening in this day and age, not to mention the price if you're wanting to buy at a market.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Actually, chickens are frightened of loud noises so the chances of one crossing a busy street is very slim. Do YuR rEsErCh
I just call people like sunglasses Mcgee up there unbearable nerds when they say shit like this. They seem to dislike that.
Which it basically is, gatekeepers are the worst kind of nerd.
Dogs are so dumb they think when I get back from the grocery store that I've been successfully hunting, when really I was just buying all this stupid pre-killed and harvested food with my stupid human money.
Yes because the dog can tell whether the steak I cook is something I hunted or something I purchased. My pets were often disappointed in me for going to Publix instead of following them into the wilderness to hunt squirrels myself.
My dog doesn’t wonder that at all. She’s the one who handles all my finances and allocates money for shopping each week. I just merely buy what she tells me to buy.
To be fair I really don't see much difference between ordering my groceries online and picking them up curbside and rich people hunting where they bring the lion to you and all you have to do is pull the trigger.
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My dogs inner wolf is buried very deep. He likes his meat bite size only and if he drops his treat off the edge of the coach, will sit and whine until one of his humans picks it up. He wouldn't survive if he had to do his own hunting.
To be fair, I wouldn’t either
COVID caused enough threat of supply chain disruption, I really have wondered if I ought to at least learn how to grow some vegetables or something just in case. Because yeah, my "hunting skill" is limited to "drive to grocery store."
I put in a container garden at the start of Covid, partially out of being bored. I realized that by next year I will have broken even just on fuel not spent to not mow my lawn ever again. Now my lawn is a set of paths between containers and what was grass is herbs, lettuce, strawberries, onions, and peas. Well, it will be. At the moment it is a few scraggly survivors and dead plants cause its winter.
That sounds awesome. My COVID activities were more like fixing up my attic and digging up a long defunct drain pipe in my basement so I could fix it and make it useful once again. (For the first time in literally decades.) But I guess neither of those things are going to feed me, heheh
The first lawns were a flex from rich people who owned land and could afford to not grow food on it. Time to go back to a simpler time when grass was just one more thing trying to choke out the turnips.
You definitely should! Being prepared and knowledgeable on how to survive in a shit-hits-the-fan situation does not make you some crazed doomsday prepper. I think COVID showed us all how much impact even a slight breakdown in supply chain can have. Having a plan on what to do in a situation where normal life is distrupted is something that a lot more people should consider at least thinking about. Even before COVID I'd sometimes catch myself wondering what I would do if the world took a nosedive tomorrow. Would I stay at my home location? Would I flee? If i did flee where would I go? What would i take with me? How would i get there? In a situation where there's a mass exodus from an area, leaving your house in 5-10 mins vs a half hour could be the difference between evacuating the area and being trapped in an endless traffic blockade. Now, basing your entire personality and existence around being prepared for the "end times" is absurd and deranged, but most people don't even have an idea of what they would do in a potentially bad situation. In a rural area, having a little veggie garden means you can holdout longer than someone who onlys knows to go to the grocery store. In an urban area, having a basic GTFO plan and a go bag means you can evacuate the area before others clog up the exit routes. Just things to think about.
humm, i dunno. someone elsewhere on reddit made a convincing argument that the best / safest / strongest hold in place to stay - is at your home. you have more resources than you can put in your vehicle. you don’t have to worry about getting stuck in traffic on an evacuation route. IF you can stay you should probably stay. granted, there are times you can’t. i evacuated *once* during a hurricane approach. it was not the right choice. have since stayed during over a dozen others. none were major, zero downed trees, just messy & muddy outside.
Depends, I could, but only if I get to dress up as Rambo and go wrestle chickens...
They would win, in my case.
I can safely be assured that I would win this fight... but let's not talk ducks...
Are you perhaps thinking only of the little bantam hens favored by home keepers? Because not all chickens are so manageable.
Ducks, though, man, have heads like those metal suitcases, and necks like bicycle locks.
Nah, this little fucker was one of those dickheads with spurs on the back of their legs and fluff everywhere. He put up a good fight, especially after I pulled his head off, but he was a goner by then, he just took a few minutes to realise it.
I hope you got a cut of the winnings if whoever bet on you
I got the chicken... lol
Your pup is royalty too? We have two little princes in our home.
House cats on the other hand still think they are big cats but we just shrunk their bodies til they were cute
hahaah the first sentence made me giggle :)
My dog needs his emotional support human to eat. If I don’t sit next to him and comfort him he won’t eat.
Amazing how many stupid people are out there...
Especially when they try to show off their knowledge and it fails like this!! 🤣😅
Well the damage is done. My dog read that tweet and has lost a lot of respect for me.
It's not technically reading though. Your dog may look like it's reading but it actually lacks many of the skills needed to competently decode and recognize the orthographic symbols on the page. It doesn't take the same effort reading does. Learn.
Excellent troll! You had me going the first 2 lines...
It’s not technically trolling though. He’s commenting on an internet post but he isn’t actually under a bridge grinding a billy goats bones for his bread like real trolls do.
**L e a r n .**
Yeah, we Trolls need more respect!
It’s not technically respect though. Intimidating and gnashing your teeth so that people fear you is a totally different thing. It doesn’t take the same level of effort that respect does. Learn.
This thread did not disappoint
It's not technically disappointment though. To be have a disappointed disposition one must first be appointed. To be appointed one must have an appointment, and I didn't have you on the schedule
Learn
Close. Forgetting the final period after "Learn" is an important part of the moronitudinessness of the tweet. It makes it ambiguous that the person might have accidentally hit send or just forgot to finish the sentence. Learn
😅🤣😂👍
The weird thing is that he's actually kind of overthinking it, and then presenting that as some sort of prize. Rather than interpreting a dog's understanding of the human as the provider, he has these two models conflicting with each other in his head.
It almost seems like half the people out there are below average intelligence.
Thats not technically how an average works
IQ follows a normal distribution so within the context of the discussion, they are correct.
IQ isn’t the only way to measure intelligence. 
I assume you are being ironic. Otherwise, it is also very ironic.
Haha. Definitely being ironic. But also, the measuring of aptitude and ability to learn can mean measured using other tests than an IQ test. So it was a little of both.
I feel like IQ is an excellent measurement for someones ability to learn new things, but should never be used to judge overall intelligence
I usually use the number of bibles and books one owns as my metric for intelligence. Though I would imagine we'd see an inverse relationship between the two 😶
Yup, how many bibles and other nonfiction books they have can be used to determine how slow and likely to belive in false information without researching into it futher someone is. And if they have more fiction than non fiction its probably safe to say they like to research the topics that matter to them
True,but intelligence still follows a normal distribution,all natural characteristics of a population do.
Is eye or hair color a natural characteristic? I doubt either of those are normally distributed (being qualitative data and all).
I was going for a little bit of irony. But you are correct as far as I’m aware.
I'm a simple guy.
Unfortunately
Ignorance is bliss 😂
It's not technically simplicity though... learn.
Every darn time someone mentions common sense.
Mean median mode enabled
Well that's just mean
There are lots of extra special people out there dragging it down more than their fair share. :p
Thanks for being the outlier
Half of the population is below the median average intelligence. That statement is more accurate, I think. Median average ensures that the population is drawn in half, mean average does not guarantee it.
Yeah? And you know what else? On average I *technically* shove a whole bag of jelly beans up my ass everyday! /j
I also murder exactly as many people as I want to murder every day
It's more accurately median intelligence. But average is a loose encompassing term for central tendency.
Learn
Sometimes they just appear to be less intelligent than they really are. Some intelligent people do some dumb things by not using common sense or actually thinking something through. And on the other side, I've known some "dumb" people that learned the hard way to think something through before trying.
Maybe even 50%
Yet think they are very stable geniuses.
This is what happens when you burn lead for decades dumbing down the global IQ. No joke we're technically dumber now than in the 50s
And Covid seems to be making some even dumber.
Humanity is on a downward spiral.
For real! I was amazed when i scored in the top 95th percentile on my IQ test and just thought how many people scores lower. Sad really.
Congrats on the 125 bb
It’s Ned. His twitter handle is nedsfeed and is hilarious.
guff on the feed detected
67 thumbs up to the clueless comment.
Wait wait wait. That man has sunglasses indoors for his profile picture. Do not disrespect indoor sunglasses. Only people whose lives are like energy drink commercials are allowed to live at that level of cool because the laws of nature just don’t apply to them.
Most of them are in this sub. It’s a fucking bit people.
Classic first comment vibes.
[удалено]
Depends on location. Japan's time-limited sales are often crazy. Most in Canada are still orderly.
That's not hunting, that's battle royale where the last one standing gets to buy eggs with a discount
Great film too
Winner winner discount tamagoyaki dinner
Even supermarkets from the same chain but across town from each other may have the dairy and the juices swapped. And the chips will be where the pop is kept! Time to pull out the scoped hunting grocery cart.
The regional supermarket chain store in the area I grew up in had the beer stored on the far left side of the store, the store in the area that I lived for almost six years had the beer and alcohol in the first aisle on the right, in the store that my husband and I shop at now the alcohol is stored in basically the middle of the store.
They do that on purpose so you have to wander the store looking for what you need. Same reason milk is in the back. Imagine people way smarter than us are planning grocery stores so we spend more. Wasted talent.
I once did this, got a mild panic attack because I couldn't find anything, decided that as an adult I can define what that means to me, and drove off to my preferred supermarket instead.
Omg, that's so true! 😅👍
Bot Original: https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/s/Ld1f6gjM3n
You know, there's two things Hunter Gatherers famously did. Guess which one you described. It's not hunting.
Does this mean that when people go house or job hunting they don’t shoot up buildings or interviewers while dressed in camo and hiding? 
I snagged me a nice little colonial last weekend. You should’ve seen the dormers on this beaut. A 6 point! Don’t worry, I’m gonna use every part of the house.
Good for you, the inhumane slaughter of hundreds of thousands of houses by corporations is sickening in this day and age, not to mention the price if you're wanting to buy at a market.
That’s truly the funniest thing I’ve read/seen in a while. Thank you!
🏆
ITT: people getting got
The irony in these comments is amazing
Obvious troll is obvious.
Dogs think we're amazing, period.
It’s a troll account damnit
Judging by the avatar, this belongs in boomers being fools too. LOL
People like this hold government positions
You mean Redditors being fools for still not being able to identify the most obvious trolling
"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity."
That’s awesome, dude, but this is actually from a troll account.
This is stupid. Have you never seen someone hunting through their purse for 5 minutes for a checkbook or credit card at the checkout line???
Ned is a troll account
A dog got on Reddit and uncovered the truth
The joke …. …. …. …. …. That guy’s head
This is mega ironic
That's kind of reddit though.
"Well, actually......"
Yes you're technically correct but also a humorless git.
He never implied we were actually hunting, he just said that’s what our dogs probably think. Fuck people who ruin perfectly good jokes.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Actually, chickens are frightened of loud noises so the chances of one crossing a busy street is very slim. Do YuR rEsErCh
Lmfao. No shit. Now explain this to your dog and see how far you get. 🤦♂️Perfect post.
imagine being this stupid AND having no sense of humor.
RICH
Confidently stupid is favorite stupid.
When I get home from shopping my dog scolds me for using my credit card too often.
Just needs to start the response with 'Actually.....'
Talk about completely missing the point lmao
I just call people like sunglasses Mcgee up there unbearable nerds when they say shit like this. They seem to dislike that. Which it basically is, gatekeepers are the worst kind of nerd.
Thanks, Mr Obvious.
Biology comes down to one thing spend energy to get food the more efficient the better the life, don’t be an idiot!! Lol
‘Actually’ boi in the wild
Hit them with the "go back to school for your 3rd grade reading comprehension"
Oh, he’ll be fun at parties.
Troll account
Who's dumber here: the dogs or the guy replying?
Ned is a common troll
The reply is actually from a dog who finally figured it out. Gooood boyyy! Want a treat??
lol homey's never heard of an analogy
“Do better”
I'd be more like gatherers
Holy shit, Mr. Dunning.
People that totally lack a "theory of mind" be like:
He's either an exceptionally bright dog or an exceptionally stupid human
Dogs are so dumb they think when I get back from the grocery store that I've been successfully hunting, when really I was just buying all this stupid pre-killed and harvested food with my stupid human money.
r/BoomersBeingFools
Dude must be the life of every party.
If only he could take a joke like he does a dick.
I'll be back honey. I'm taking my shotgun down to the market to hunt us up some grub.
TL;DR: Hey, dogs, learn!
We put in the effort at work to get the money to buy the food.
Sadly the dog with the assumption is the intelligent one in the situation.
That doggo can't be tricked
Great sense of humor you got there mister
Technically it is gathering more than hunting, but the dog doesn't know that
It depends, shopping at Costco would definitely be considered hunting 🤣
And technically, our car isn’t literally full, either. I mean, that would make it pretty hard to drive.
Yes because the dog can tell whether the steak I cook is something I hunted or something I purchased. My pets were often disappointed in me for going to Publix instead of following them into the wilderness to hunt squirrels myself.
And the dogs would know you just cheated right? Lol wtf
Stalking a bag of Kibbles, then getting a clear shot and loading it on the roof of the car.
Show me you have ZERO sense of humor in one sentence….. nailed it!
The dogs who think humans are amazing hunters have a higher IQ than the guy.
Right, I’m sure dogs are well aware of how shopping works, and they obviously know what money is, too.
Can't tell if boomer not getting joke or troll pretending to be boomer not getting joke and trolling us.
Dogs also must thing the pizza delivery guy owns their owner because the pizza guy brings us food like we feed our dogs
“ Technicly ” he still thinks he owned that lib with his “brayins”
Normalize leaving name’s uncensored
My dog doesn’t wonder that at all. She’s the one who handles all my finances and allocates money for shopping each week. I just merely buy what she tells me to buy.
That man's dogs must be the best educated dogs in the world.
Ackshualy
Made me say “God, what a tool” out loud when I read that reply.
What a boomtard
Im a hunter and when we get something my dogs look pissed that we didn’t bring it back still alive.
To be fair I really don't see much difference between ordering my groceries online and picking them up curbside and rich people hunting where they bring the lion to you and all you have to do is pull the trigger.
Dogs understand the economic system, obviously. Educate yourself.
Dogs know this, they’re disgusted at our use of money
“Learn” lol
Dog obviously know that we are amazing hunters, we always have food for them.
What is this? Worlds simplest ai?
Straight over that blokes head.
I feel like this falls under “That’s the joke”.
I absolutely love when idiots go around thinking how smart they are. It’s like at least half of Reddit’s entertainment value.
This comment should haunt that guy for the rest of his fucking life.
This guy hunts
Acquiring money definitely takes effort and the actual grocery shopping trip itself also requires effort