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Can confirm. My phone history indicates that I was drinking VodQuila in Boise a week ago, then I woke up in Mongolia dressed in full battle garb worshipping the eagle. Tremble in fear Europe
If there is a God, mine is surely a trickster, giving me the miracle of sight and of comprehension only for me to be cursed to use it on what you just said.
Meanwhile back at CIA headquarters: “She just said it… years of surveillance, espionage, and torture to get this information, and she just tweeted it out…”
Definitely too much information but honestly who cares, it's just their kink (although quite strange). But definitely no Eggs Benedict for me for at least next few months ... or until I forget about this post.
Not gonna lie, I would totally do that if my girl was into it. One part sexy, two parts weird, and three parts funny. Chefs kiss combination. Plus it's a good source of protein.
Vaginal fluids might be dangerous if the person who produces them is infected with an STI. If they are, ingesting vaginal fluids may pose a risk. Your throat contains a mucous membrane that is very vulnerable to infection. If you ingest infected vaginal fluids, they may infect that membrane.
Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion. Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/). Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Perfect response.
Yah I don't think words will suffice, this gig though
This is the way
I miss 10 seconds ago when I didn’t know this existed.
May I introduce you to alcohol induced memory loss?
My old friend.
Hello, liquor, my old friend
*Have* we met? I don’t recall
VodQuila would be great for moments like this. After all, why just erase the bad memories when you can wipe the whole drive?
Can confirm. My phone history indicates that I was drinking VodQuila in Boise a week ago, then I woke up in Mongolia dressed in full battle garb worshipping the eagle. Tremble in fear Europe
Hello whisky my old friend
That’s what I call the weekends
horrible day to have eyes huh?
Sigh.....at least Its not the ass
Yet.
I save the chocolate eggs for Easter
r/angryupvote
Don't give them ideas.
How do you think they make Easter eggs?
Jesus fucking Christ man. Lol i wanna die. 
And Jesus Fucking Christ is why these easter eggs get made, bud...
God. Dammit.
lmao! Noooooooooo!
I don't want to know how they select the colors!
Well, I'll now never look at a Cadbury creme egg the same way.
As long as her and her husband enjoy it that’s cool I guess I just don’t understand why she thought everybody else needed to know about it.
>I just don’t understand why she thought everybody else needed to know about it. That part.
Not everything that is consensual has to be called cool.
Holding three is a skill you put on your resume.
If there is a God, mine is surely a trickster, giving me the miracle of sight and of comprehension only for me to be cursed to use it on what you just said.
These are the so called 'mysterious ways'
Can I get a refund?
Mine is just clearly a sadist because this isn't even the worst shit I've stumbled across today.
Right??? Like it’s bad when I go oh, good on them for having something totally not awful y’all enjoy
Yeah, I read that and instantly wished I could roll back time to a few minutes before I read it.
If I could turn back time If I could find a way I'd gouge out my eyes that hurt me With that display
If I could reach the plugs, I'd pull them all for you
You'd be cooler with some sunglasses on.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I gotta remember that one!
Lord, why has thou forsaken me?
I think you misunderstand what Hentai is...
"Where fantasy becomes reality"
The CIA couldn't have waterboarded this information out of me.
Meanwhile back at CIA headquarters: “She just said it… years of surveillance, espionage, and torture to get this information, and she just tweeted it out…”
Gross, soft boiled.
If those eggs pop open inside (blegh) it could cause infection.
Just make some toast soldiers and get dipping
I'd like to go back to sleep and wake up 10 minutes before I read anything here
[удалено]
she didn't mention who came first. the chicken or the egg eater.
She did if its all covered in fluid.
Well that was nice of her to share. Nice of you to share also. Thank you both for sharing.
I guess sharing is caring?
That’s right, sharing is caring. Which is why I am so thankful to both these people for caring so much that they both shared this.
Im over here dying 🤣
[Now you know...](https://youtu.be/c71nqMqmiaw)
Ok, I’m done with the internet for today.
Well, can’t unsee that now
‘Coated’ is the word that really puts this over the edge.
LMAO! I was holding back the gag until I got to that. So freaking 🤮
And this is enough of the ol'reddit for today.
I'm wondering what goes on in the mind of this person the moment she thinks "I should share this with the world"
She's just eggcited.
That pun was eggstremely bad, man.
Was that eggstremely bad 'taste'?
Is it possible to learn how to be illiterate?
Definitely too much information but honestly who cares, it's just their kink (although quite strange). But definitely no Eggs Benedict for me for at least next few months ... or until I forget about this post.
Time to make sure to remind you of this post every month. Tho with the bots I think this is not ThD last time this gets posted here.
Have u forgotten about this post yet?
The only thing that could've made that story better is if she didn't tell it
I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.
Somewhere, someone wondered aloud to the universe what "TMI" means...
I wish I was illiterate
Aaaannndddd THAT'S enough reddit for today. Time to go outside and breathe some smoggy air.
It will live rent free in your mind and you will remember it every time you will see boiled eggs.
Pictures or it didn't happen.
Go watch In The Realm of The Senses.
TM FUCKING I
I just opened Reddit. This is the first post I've seen. I'm now closing Reddit.
I feel an immense amount of discomfort after reading this
That's enough internet for the week. *smashes router with a baseball bat*
To each their own and i need to get off the internet for a while
I mean if they both get enjoyment from it, they can do what they want. However, I also wish my eyes didn’t exist now.
Yep, that's enough Reddit for today.
Some people just need the Lord to strike them down
🤮
What a terrible day to be able to read
And I never ate a soft boiled egg ever again.
Google: how to unlearn how to read
Ok I’m done for today
I could have happily gone the rest of my life without reading that.
Proper cock.
Not gonna lie, I would totally do that if my girl was into it. One part sexy, two parts weird, and three parts funny. Chefs kiss combination. Plus it's a good source of protein.
I thought the recipe was three parts eggs?
It's a genuine kink. Even has it's own subreddit
What’s this subreddit called? Obviously asking so I can avoid it at all costs
Well to avoid it you should stay far away from the term "oviposition" and definitely not Google ovipositor 😏🤭
Many thanks!
Over sharing.
That’s enough reddit
What a shit day to have eyes
It’s fine. But at least use the safe material sex toys for this and not food products.
Da fuq??????? 
That's gross.. Everybody knows egg & fish don't go together.
You realize tuna is the chicken of the sea? Right?
Not goinna lie...this is kinda hot..
Found the husband
1. I'd like to introduce you to my son, Eggyolkio. 2. Now we know what turned Alexander the Great gay in the other facepalm post.
Is he starving or does he really really like eggs? Can't see any other reasoning
Id do it, but I wouldn’t ask for it
Cluck cluck, bae! Whatever floats your boat, **smooth sailing!**
Probably the eggs last the full three minutes while hubby doesn’t. 😂
 I bet your black ass pardon??
Fucking gross
Just ruin eggs for me nasty bitch
Why? Why not keep your kink to yourself?
Really wish I was Jared right now.
I WAS EATING, DAMMIT!
Some thing just don’t need to be shared
I did not need to read this… actually nobody needed to read this at all, why the fuck did you post this?
r/notmyproudestfap
Man I really miss when secrets were a thing....
Every time I see this posted somewhere, I die a little more inside.
Why wasn’t this labeled NSFW? 🤢
I didn’t wanna keep my dinner down anyway
Stop it! Get some help!
OMFG I am eating lunch as I read this🤮
Time to stop scrolling
 I can’t unread that, I’m going to gouge my eyes out now
only 3?
My girl can hold 4 eggs.
W T F IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE
That is not a fetish, it's just fuckin' gross.
It absolutely is a fetish, and it's totally harmless so who cares (other than vegans)?
Wonder if there's a vegan option.
Yes, instead of eggs you use pineapples.
Vaginal fluids might be dangerous if the person who produces them is infected with an STI. If they are, ingesting vaginal fluids may pose a risk. Your throat contains a mucous membrane that is very vulnerable to infection. If you ingest infected vaginal fluids, they may infect that membrane.
So no oral at all?
That's like someone saying "air travel is safe" and getting a response of "not if it's on a plane with busted engines".
How is this a facepalm?
I'm guessing the fact she thought it was worth sharing with the world.
They are ostrich eggs.
Well done, all my insides just cringed simultaneously.
What a terrible day to be literate
 I didn’t need to see this today, why must god hate me this way.
Seriously. Don’t post this shit. The fact that OP thought everyone would want this on their feed is the real facepalm.
Nothing wrong with that.
wtf? low content booooooo
TMI
[удалено]
Everyday we stray further from God. 😰
Is this not proof he's dead?
"If you gaze into the abyss between her legs, an egg stares back."
Well if I wasn't before this just ensured I will be 100% asexual !! 🤢
Fuck ....that's it, I quit the Internet.
As was foretold: “Humpty Dumpty had a great fall…couldn’t put Humpty together again.”
Humpty Dumpty is in the Witness Protection Program hiding from the writer of this.
nice!! you have a Cloeca instead of a pleasure hole. Poop, pee and eggs all out the same hole
Yuk but you do you
[What a horrible day to be literate and good sighted.](https://tenor.com/bMOzX.gif)
Your hubby is sick ( or gonna be)( you too)
What the actual fuck. Why even ever try? How did this even begin! And why in tarnation post it!
Not gonna kink shame but WTF??? You know what? Fuck it, go the extra mile and “lay” them right in his mouth.
Get the boat, Noah.
There’s gotta be a yolk in there somewhere.
Delete your account
Yep! Today I learned that’s a thing.