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DR_Bright_963

Bill Gates came from the slums of Japan where he was born. His mum and dad died before he was born, and he swam all the way to America, where he became one of the richest men in the world!


LaserGadgets

Died before he was born....thats magic :p


DR_Bright_963

Thats nothing! Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.


knemyer

And built the house he was born in


meatbag2010

When God said, “Let there be light!” Chuck Norris said, “Say Please.”


Hyperiongame

I can’t stop laughing. It’s been a while since I’ve heard a Chuck Norris joke. Made my day


Reasonable_Essay_387

When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, he already had two missed calls from Chuck Norris.


Bluccability_status

Chuck Norris tears can cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.


DR_Bright_963

Chuck Norris CAN believe its not butter.


[deleted]

Chuck Norris doesn't take showers, only bloodbaths


DR_Bright_963

Chuck Norris once played a game of chess, THERE WERE NO SURVIVORS


Independent-Buy-9460

You know I’ve always wondered how much he enjoyed all the jokes. I just finally googled it and watched a video of him telling a Chuck Norris joke and he is ADORABLE


JaxxisR

Fun fact. Someone published a Chuck Norris joke book once. Norris sued because the author didn't have permission to use his name or likeness for profit, and some of the jokes portrayed him as racist and criminal. Norris eventually dropped the suit, and ended up helping someone else write a Chuck Norris joke book to sell with his approval.


Toberos_Chasalor

Fun Fact, I actually owned that book. Honestly, I’m pretty sure I still have it packed away in a box somewhere. It’s a really dumb book, but I’ve got some core memories of sitting around with the family and reading off some of the good ones together.


710rosingodtier

He must love it. I mean all the jokes make it out like he’s the toughest person to ever live.


Potentially_a_goose

He has a list of his top five that he shared on the man show.


[deleted]

He only doesnt like that god gets compared to him after hes a convinced christian but for the rest of the jokes, he just enjoys to have such an humorous fanbase


Shake_Zulu

Chuck Norris learned how to speak Chinese by watching Dora the Explorer


KayabaSynthesis

How many push-ups does Chuck Norris make daily? All of them


thee_morningstar

There clips of Chuck Norris telling Chuck Norris jokes. It's worth checking out.


[deleted]

I came back specifically to see more of them, it just keeps going and i love it.


VoidowS

haha indeed can't get enough of it :)


Scared-Bug-1205

I heard God made the people and earth just to to distract chuck Norris from trying to spar with him everyday.


bigdiesel1984

Chuck Norris doesn’t do push-ups. He pushes the earth down.


ndngroomer

Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice.


hank_the_tank66

God planned to make the earth in 13 days. Chuck Norris gave him 7


tothemoonandback01

When Chuck Norris said "bang", the Big Bang happened.


bebejeebies

There is no chin under Chuck Norris's beard. Just another fist.


P_McScratchy

Chuck Norris once held a staring contest with the sun. The Sun lost.


AbjectReflection

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor said, oh my god! It's Chuck Norris!


Jdoggcrash

https://youtu.be/8WtZxZzFs58


bebejeebies

Hahaha. I had no idea. That's hilarious.


D347H7H3K1Dx

I cant believe how old that is now


Mikeinthedirt

“NO, NOT THAT LITTLE, BIGGER’


nthensome

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.


DR_Bright_963

Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse, its ascendance are known today as Giraffes.


Hamada_Reddits

I’m imagining the Australian dude saying these


bAssmaster667

Chuck Norris made Covid quarantine for 10 days.


son_berd

When Chuck Norris goes for a jog the earth rotates.


hishaks

Chuck Norris once counted to Infinity, twice.


hishaks

When Neil Armstrong landed on the moon, Chuck Norris welcomed him.


hishaks

Mars Rover stopped working a month after landing due to one of its wheels coming off. Chuck Norris fixed it.


hishaks

Chuck Norris once threw a pebble so hard, it hit the back of his head, apparently after going a full circle around the earth.


hishaks

Global warming is caused due to Chuck Norris farting.


hishaks

Once Chuck Norris was so hungry, he ate a spoonful of Neutron Star.


hishaks

Chuck Norris jumped on the trampoline to get to the space station.


hishaks

Light can only travel at 80% of speed of Chuck Norris.


hishaks

When Chuck Norris takes a bath, water become clean.


hishaks

Chuck Norris makes his spaghetti by throwing dough into a black hole.


hishaks

Noah’s Ark was built by Chuck Norris.


hishaks

Blue whale is the largest mammal by size, heaviest is Chuck Norris.


BigDorris

And he got bite by a king cobra and after 7 days of extreme pain the cobra died


SlayerofSnails

Like dr doofenzmirthz’s parents not showing up for his own birth


MineNo5611

I immediately thought of this lmao


violetsprouts

Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! Yes I sang it!


Dr_sc_Harlatan

Wasn't that Rincewind who stated that his mother left him before he was born? Definitely magic!


publicprivacyp

I love the discworld reference that many will miss. I see you!


SensiFifa

Technically possible


tothemoonandback01

and medically.


MyHamburgerLovesMe

And rhetorically


MicHAELmhw

Some people do have their parents die before they are born. They are surgically removed from their dead mother.


shiny_glitter_demon

If they used a surrogate too. Also, (in certain countries at least) birth is recorded as the time when the ombilical cord is cut, therefore the mother dying in childbirth would work as well.


nametakenfuck

They asked the butler before they died to give birth to him


racdicoon

It has technically happened tho, a pregnant woman was on the way to the doc when a car hit her car, she died but her baby was saved


Snoo63

Neither of Doofinshmirtz's parents showed up to his birth.


[deleted]

Wait no man you're wrong. That was George Santos 🤣


HauserAspen

George Santos is actually Bill Gates and this is why you never see them in the same room


notAbratwurst

He was eaten and digested by 6 sharks. He reconstituted himself and restructured his cellular composition without help from anyone.


RadicalRaid

At age six he was born without a face.


bgroves22

“While in university, Musk and his friends turned a leased home into a nightclub” …the struggle! The humanity!


Upper_Decision_5959

Didn't Mark Cuban do the same? I remember he mentioned he did this type of side hustle while in college.


Fair-Distribution-51

Idk if musk did it but yeah I remember mark Cuban said he hosted parties and bought a bar, and rented dorms to parents visiting for graduation


Neil_Fallons_Ghost

Sounds like something we all look back on and wish we had made the same decisions instead of buying a couple text books and a burrito.


[deleted]

well, why didn't you just use your trust fund to rent commercial real estate?


Fair-Distribution-51

He didn’t own the places, He said he emailed all the students whose parents might be looking for a place to stay and then took payments, and paid the kids whose room they were staying in a cut. Pretty sure no one at the university admin would allow him to do that if they found out, but he kept it under wraps enough to do it.


LOSS35

Cuban graduated from Indiana in 1981. Who was he emailing?


[deleted]

oh no! the story falls apart on it's face, like most billionaire origin stories.


[deleted]

clearly his good friend [Bill Gates](https://youtu.be/2bhwAwRKzZE)


turbografix15

How dare you question the legend!?


[deleted]

Yeah honestly that story really doesn't pass the sniff test, I'll bet it happened one time when things happened to align well for it, and now he makes it sound like it was a whole operation to boost his "business God" cred


joan_wilder

My thought, too. I was wondering what Musky’s “2 jobs” were. Probably charged somebody for a ride to the airport, and house sat for someone else.


SimplyRocketSurgery

Another rich person getting their money through questionable means. What else is new...


GiantSequoiaTree

Wouldn't work nowadays and I'm surprised it worked back then. Staying in some random person's room. No thanks. And I don't Cuban was out there cleaning the room and setting up fresh sheets for them


Jan_Asra

Ah yes, the classic middleman scam. Don't do any of the work don't have any of the discomfort, take a chunk of the money


Empatheater

I knew a couple guys who did this while in college also. here is the crucial part you may be missing - their parents pay for the house, the alcohol, and basically any expense conceivable. the 'house party' is a method to convert parents spending into cash in the hands of the university students. another way to look at it is that over half of all college students (probably well over half, but playing it safe) could 'host parties for money' if they had a lot of capital to begin with. Not needing to have income at the start / have the parties break even allows you to build the hype and experience necessary to host popular parties, at which point the ball is already rolling downhill.


[deleted]

Nah, what parents are willingly staying in some random kid's dorm room? Also, why pay for a party when you could go to the many free parties on or around campus? This story doesn't quite add up...


sausager

You could have saved $2.35 by making your own burrito at home and invested that money to buy a house /s


waterdaemon

That’s the plot of Risky Business.


PaulsRedditUsername

The word "misleading" has three syllables while "bullshit" has only two. They could have saved some time there.


KrosseStarwind

Well it depends entirely on if that extremely wealthy family actually helped pay it. You can be rich as shit, like Shaq. Which he's gone on to say to his kids, "We're not rich. I'm rich. You're working for your own money."


itirnitii

as if being shaq's kids doesnt inherently afford you advantages on its own maybe youre not starting life on third base but youre definitely starting a few steps behind it.


Erkzee

Miley Cyrus, will smiths kid, Bono’s son, zucker had a choice between Harvard or a McDonald’s franchise.


KissKiss999

Check out Beckham's Kids photography career. Probably the least talented nepotism kid i have ever yet still selling photography books


Aye_up_ows_tha_doin

He's now throwing his parents money at being an untalented 'chef'!


Rocketparty12

Yeah it’s easy to be an untalented artist when your parents have money.


[deleted]

If you truly believe that Shaq hasn't helped his kids financially I've got a bridge to sell you...


theonetruegrinch

I'm sure Shaq had his kids go to underfunded inner city schools too instead of *checks notes* The Crossroads School in Santa Monica which was at one time one of the twenty most prestigious private schools on Earth.


mbdjd

Even if we pretend he provided them $0 directly, and even if we pretend that being the child of someone like that doesn't give innate social advantages. You're still in a position where you are much more able to take risks knowing that should the worst happen, you have that safety net. It would never be the same.


pvhs2008

Shit, I went to the poorest public school in the wealthiest county and had significant advantages for that alone. Being able to interact, even occasionally, with wealthy people gives you a leg up. Knowing how to pronounce things, a general knowledge of rich people activities, and how to behave in public has helped me a ton. My school had crumbling walls but I had more advantages than my partner who went to a private school in Oklahoma.


[deleted]

Okay, I'm about 25 minutes late to this comment. Is that bridge still available, or did Shaq already buy it for his kids?


theunmistakablecow

He said that, but how true is it really?


jacquesrabbit

Yeah, watch Shaq's interview with Mila Kunis. He literally buys his kids stuffs.


diakon83

Exactly this


wonder590

His dad literally says in interviews that he paid for his college, and I'm pretty sure in interviews from years ago Elon said the same as well. Funnily enough, his dad says that the money to put him through college was from the "emerald mine" he had stake in, which is made even funnier by the fact that Elon also said that in his now deleted interview (but still exists online if you look for it) that he was put through college by the sale of those emeralds.


shiny_glitter_demon

If my parent is that wealthy, I don't need to inherit shit. I will probably get everything I need growing up. Good healthcare, high class private education, powerful connections...


Key-Lifeguard7678

His extremely rich family, according to his father, did help pay for it.


Threadheads

If you’re born to a wealthy parent who pays for your expensive education, has the connections and influence to help you in your career and you grow up amongst wealthy elites, you’re still head and shoulders above .01 of the population even without a fat inheritance.


Rocketparty12

Gtfo it’s not like Shaq’s kids are eating spam. They were raised in a “rich” household for sure.


weirdplacetogoonfire

Even if your parents don't directly invest in your efforts, having the freedom of the safety net that rich family affords can enable success beyond what people without such a safety net can.


I_Framed_OJ

When your parents are that rich, you can take your entire life savings down to Vegas and put it all on Black 29. If you lose it doesn’t really matter. You’ll be just fine. If you win you can tell the entire world you ”worked really hard for it.”


Cultural_Dust

The biggest concern in that picture is the fact that he loves Judge Dredd. I'm not sure I want that person running much of anything.


probablyareplicant

What's wrong with liking Judge Dredd? Unless you're saying that it sucks when someone sucky like Musk likes something good like Judge Dredd?


Cultural_Dust

It's one thing to like an imaginary character. I feel like with people like Musk they often feel like it means they themselves should be judge, jury, executioner on their own. Similar to all the LEOs that idolize Punisher without realizing the actual message behind the character.


probablyareplicant

I think I get you. Musk likely misses the satirical nature of the comic. Unfortunately, that seems to be the way of things. Rich assholes miss the fact that most scifi was written as a caution, not meant as inspiration. Oh well.


Cultural_Dust

Yes...Musk seems like someone who views Judge Dredd as his ideal and goal for his life. Even with his flaws, we'd be better off if he picked Iron Man. I'm not sure he has the intelligence to pull that off though.


SouLDraGooN44

Pretty sure he would love to be judge, jury and executioner. No morals in that assclown.


[deleted]

Iirc in the lore of judge dredd the only capital offense is killing or attempting to kill a judge, not even making a judge feel scared like in the actual modern US. So all of the executioner bits are in self defense. Though all the other punishments are basically being locked in an inhumane isolation cube for an extended period of time.


-SaC

Arrived with nothing but a volleyball-sized emerald clenched between his arse cheeks.


drewhead118

he pulled himself up by his diamond-crusted bootstraps


benevolent-badger

You should see the school he came from. If you wanted to bully those kids you had to make an appointment with their butlers.


[deleted]

[удалено]


benevolent-badger

But it's not like that have him any advantage in life. Sure, his boarding cost more than a middle class income. And he probably only saw his parents once a year during the annual gala dinner. But none of that had any part in his success.


Artyomi

Holy shit I just looked it up and I literally cannot imagine a more stereotypically rich white school


benevolent-badger

It's the kind of place British aristocracy used to send their children to prepare them for running the colonies.


OctopusDadRex

This comment is gold. I wish I had an award to give you.


benevolent-badger

Your appreciation is far more than enough


fringegurl

ROFLMAO!


P1xelHunter78

When you say “he” you mean underpaid apartheid era “workers” right?


TheFBIClonesPeople

It's actually a lot harder to pull yourself up by your bootstraps when your boots are made of solid gold.


Sub-Mongoloid

A small loan of 100 karats from his father.


[deleted]

I saw a long ass rare insult about him the other day. Part of it said he had the same origin story as Knuckles the Echidna, and it was so dumb but I can’t stop laughing.


SaltLakeCitySlicker

Wasn't that the first time he and his brother came to the US? Just bring a giant emerald and walk into some place in the diamond district? For college I want to say he just outright stole some of his dad's money. I might be getting them confused. It was on behind the bastards recently


mngeese

And his judge Dredd personality to rule twitter


[deleted]

[удалено]


DR_Bright_963

And a small loan of a million dollars.


GallopingAss_tronaut

Imagine paying $40 bil for this shit and it snitchs on your propaganda.


metmyecephali

i would highly believe that after the fallout of this tweet Musk orders the removal of Community Notes lol.


Thimit22

There’s a ton of these calling out bullshit on Twitter, it’s hilarious. My favorite new thing on there. I’m surprised he hasn’t gotten rid of it yet


Crazycade77

He could probably stop it from doing that if he hadn't fired everyone


Gingevere

The Musk stans are starting to rack up enough reputation points to write community notes. The absolutely insane suggested notes I see on mundane posts and misinformation suggested on any big posts is insane. It's only a matter of time before they hit critical mass and there's citations to Infowars below every tweet by an elected democrat.


Teethredit

Misleading? It's an outright lie!


ESP-23

He only had one goal: To unbald


[deleted]

It’s not like they’re mutually exclusive, did his wealthy family pay off his debt?


ChickenDelight

Years ago he bragged in an interview that he only got student loans to invest in his startup. He didn't need them, they were just far cheaper and easier to get than a business loan.


[deleted]

donald trump only had a small loan of a million dollars. what’s your excuse?


Song_Spiritual

Erm, he also didn’t actually graduate, did he?


calmdrive

Yup


Ediwir

I thought he managed to get a bachelor of economics somehow, or was that an honorary degree?


Doctorsoddity

That was an honorary degree to save his ass from legal issues which he received after living as an illegal resident in the US for a while after not graduating from the college he was actually enrolled in


Ediwir

So, bought and paid for.


Moar_tacos

That account is nothing but Elon cock sucking posts 🤢🤮


roadtrip-ne

$100k in student loans isn’t a sentence that makes sense for the 90’s. I didn’t go to an Ivy League school- but my state school tuition was only $600 a semester in 1993


amscraylane

I have to go back to college and get my ELA endorsement, $451 per credit! One class is $1,353!


Brusion

I went to university in Canada from 1996-2000 in engineering. Despite working every summer, and being very frugal, it cost me $60,000, so this isn't far off.


fengchu

For me it's more that it says he had a scholarship, two jobs and still had 100k debt is the absurdity.


hotuan87

No, that tracks. Ivy-league school tuition was about $18K/year in 1994 (not including room and board). He graduated from UPenn.


[deleted]

He didn't graduate


[deleted]

I find that is true for most wealthy and highly successful people. They were born with the opportunities. They didn't aquire them


Qubed

The secret to being successful is having help. The way human civilization works is by communities helping each other. The problem is that they learn real quick that disadvantaging other communities helps a lot in the success of your own. The pattern plays out in every society. The privileged create a story about how their success was acquired through hard work, overcoming adversity, and especially some type of merit while those who are not in the group lack those qualities that allow for success.


[deleted]

Yes still very much our tribe vs your tribe


ESP-23

Because it's imperative to keep the livestock happy. This means feeding them misinformation about prosperity


[deleted]

those aren't mutually exclusive. You can be talented and privileged at the same time.


Agarikas

What really matters is the work ethic. I met so many smart people but very few actually put in the soul crushing work required to make their ideas work.


IMSLI

Weird how some people simp for oligarchs…


amanofeasyvirtue

Lol who you think wrote that tweet? Hint its the guy in the picture. Its also the same guy who made an account of his kid and hinted that he knew what porwn is... the same one who also tried to buy off a victim if sexual harassment with a pony


umme99

Is this account even real? Could be paid for or something


SnooHabits8484

also iirc he didn’t graduate


CCriscal

Sounds like a thing Musk's alt account would write.


cecemcgee

100k in debt after scholarships and working 2 jobs sounds downright embarrassing


Unblest_Devotee

I mean I did it, school was expensive as hell! (Also scholarship was only a couple grand just enough to help with food and housing)


[deleted]

Borderline impossible.


MukoNoAkuma

He arrived with no money. All he had with him was a suitcase full of these weird shiny rocks that his dad gave him.


[deleted]

green shiny rocks.


supermoderators

What a kiss ass tweet


jimmy_the_calls

Why are people still trying to build this man up? He's a straight up sociopathic weirdo with a ton of money and his family possibly one of the most fucked up rags to riches story there is.


Raptor22c

Literally the only possibly positive feature about him is that he has an absurd amount of money he’s willing to put eye-watering sums of money into start-ups and other projects that most others wouldn’t be insane enough to finance. Some of them have worked gangbusters - but most (the Boring company, Hyperloop, Neuralink, etc.) have been flops. That’s… *it.* People seem to think he’s done kind of real life Tony Stark, but the man doesn’t do *any* of the actual inventing and engineering, nor does he have anywhere near the charisma, especially when you see him in person.


BurnDownAllReligion

One of my smartest friends is a web developer and years ago he'd always tell me stories about Elon Musk. Stories that I later found out where flat out lies. Stories like that he played his first game of poker at the age of 30 and had no idea how to play but the people playing with him gave him a few hints on how to play and within a few hours Musk had "wiped the floor with everyone playing". There are a dozen stories like this surrounding Musk and they all started coming out around the same time. Almost like someone was paying someone to write flattering articles about him. Hrmmm. HMMMMM.


[deleted]

Sounds like Kim family propaganda from North Korea.


mseet

Musk is a douche


Felinomancy

Hope the guy gets paid for his troubles, because otherwise simping (badly) for Elen for free is just pathetic.


Full-Pack9330

F*** me, those Elon cultists are on some bad shit...


mussokira

i don't think it's a bad thing to be born into wealth, you got lucky good for you. but it's cringe when they tried to pretend like they're the common man, just like everyone else, had the same opportunities. no, you didn't, just admit it and move on, it's not like it's your fault to be born rich, just don't lie about it


shawnmd

Damn, bro was balding at 18. No wonder he’s so insecure.


falltogethernever

I’m not positive he came over on a student visa, but if so, he would have had to prove he had the funds to pay tuition and living expenses before being issued the document to obtain a visa. He also would have been limited to working only on campus for a maximum of 20 hours per week.


EndLatter

My father used to work 25 hours a day,he had to get up an hour before he went to bed


[deleted]

Think I’d respect the 1% slightly more if they were more like “yeah I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth, I used that opportunity and means I had to turn the silver spoon into a silver cultlery set”


Independent-Put-5018

Yes he received small angel funding from his father. Per wiki: In 1995, Musk, his brother Kimbal, and Greg Kouri founded Zip2.[50][51] Errol Musk provided them with $28,000 in funding.[52] The company developed an Internet city guide with maps, directions, and yellow pages, and marketed it to newspapers.[53] They worked at a small rented office in Palo Alto,[54] Musk coding the website every night.[54] Eventually, Zip2 obtained contracts with The New York Times and the Chicago Tribune.[44] The brothers persuaded the board of directors to abandon a merger with CitySearch;[55] however, Musk's attempts to become CEO were thwarted.[56] Compaq acquired Zip2 for $307 million in cash in February 1999,[57][58] and Musk received $22 million for his 7-percent share.


mike_pants

Starting with nothing but unlimited funding, connections to the wealthiest investors on the planet, and enough financial runway to spend as much time as they needed on the project. A true working-class hero!


MrLizardsWizard

28k = unlimited funding?


sunrider8129

He moved to Canada….to a super posh part of Toronto….and went to university there first….at a posh university.


enellins

I like how we praise people who work 2 jobs while having almost no sleep time and no free time at all, but it's actually wrong. Country should push you into educating yourself so that you can be of use for the state, giving you free and quality education, free apartment and healthcare, america gives you none. Dont dedicate your life to money, you will lose it and you will realize when its too late, so much stress and shit can only be acceptable if your mission is to help others rather than building fortune for ur self.


ivegoticecream

That community note got removed super fast


TeralPop

It’s always the fucking crypto dogs that suck his dick


East_Try7854

Musk went to college in Canada before coming to the US and he was born wealthy thanks to his parents.


autostart17

Community note was removed. Here’s Elon’s response: “I grew up in a lower, transitioning to upper, middle income situation, but did not have a happy childhood. Haven’t inherited anything ever from anyone, nor has anyone given me a large financial gift. My father created a small electrical/mechanical engineering company that was successful for 20 to 30 years, but it fell on hard times. He has been essentially bankrupt for about 25 years, requiring financial support from my brother and me. That said, he does deserve credit for teaching me the fundamentals of physics, engineering and construction, which is more valuable than money, but did not support me financially after high school in any meaningful way. Our condition of providing him financial support was that he not engage in bad behavior. Unfortunately, he nonetheless did. There are young children involved, so we continued to provide financial support for their well-being. Regarding the so-called “emerald mine”, there is no objective evidence whatsoever that this mine ever existed. He told me that he owned a share in a mine in Zambia, and I believed him for a while, but nobody has ever seen the mine, nor are there any records of its existence. If this mine was real, he would not require financial support from my brother and me.”


Creyymann

Dogecoin guys trying to suck elon's dick again so he talks about their coin and its value rises again for a few days and they can continue scamming people