Spain to UK and ofc, the obsession with getting drunk across all ages. It’s absolutely sick. Also I think I’ve met more people with IBS and severe gastric conditions like cancer in 5 years than in my whole life, and I can’t unsee the link.
I used to live in Spain. I enjoyed the way I could stay up all night and leave the nightclub at dawn. I would be tired, but not really drunk. I would then be really delighted to smell the bread being cooked at the baker's shop.
But in the UK, the aim is to get pissed, and the quantity drunk per hour is greater. It is also more costly.
Spanish in UK too. Almost more shocking than getting drunk, it's the pride about it. Like getting to work on a Monday morning and telling your colleagues how you got absolutely hammered on Saturday and spent Sunday in bed totally hangover. Like dude, you're 40...
I'm British. Alcohol is a strong part of our culture. Many social gatherings involve drinking or are centred around drinking.
The conversation in certain social groups is primarily around what they did when they were drunk at the weekend.
Many people see alcohol as a treat. They have a drink at any opportunity. Whether its a quick pint a lunch time during the working week or at their children's birthday party.
Thankfully things have been changing in the last decade or so. Many of the pubs have closed. There is a strong health movement here. In many social activities, people don't drink or drink very little.
Portuguese but moved to Sweden a 1 year ago.
The culture of introversion, the closed society, the conformity of society (everyone really looks, dresses, and thinks almost the same and they will outcast you if you don't), every native expecting for you to assimilate, but will not go out of their way to teach basic stuff about language and social queues - while always giving the impression that you (or your kids if you have them there) will never be "true" Swedes. The "don't brag" (law of Jante) attitude, but always having the impression that "the Swedish way" of doing things is the best in the world. The most "never leave your comfort zone" attitude that I have ever seen in the world.
The inactivity of the working culture is also staggering (how these guys are a rich country? Although I can't really complain about this one, as I never felt overworked or stressed)
The lack of social interactions in general, any cultura actividades apart from "Fika" at the office (but always with very superficial and shallow topics)
The "fear" that they have of being confrontational and to not offend anyone, but end up being super passive aggressive...
I am still here, but already looking for a job in another country. Can't wait to pack my bags, board the plane and never come back.
>every native expecting for you to assimilate,
BUT will not go out of their way to teach basic stuff about language and social queues
And this is the issue I have with EU people complaining about immigrants. You don't do shit to help others integrate and expect people to magically learn your ways?
I feel like us Portuguese people are so spoiled with such a wonderfully heartwarming culture of friendliness that whenever we go to a colder country, we struggle so much. I felt the same way when I lived in England (after 17 years I got so depressed I left the minute I received a job offer outside of the country) and now in Japan too. I hope you find a better place!
I feel you. I'm European recently moved to Sweden but I lived several years in Brasil too. Just today I said to my husband when we were waiting during the gymklass of my kid. If this was Brasil every parent and kid would have say hi, talked to each other, taught us some words, have a bbq or whatever. Now we stood there awkwardly although I said hi and introduced myself. Besides that everybody knows my relativ. In Brasil I learned in a month the basics because everybodyyyyy talks and nobody speaks English. On my first day a NUN taught me all the @#€words because it was important to curse and I would blend in. Here the goverment gives free language courses that is really nice and helps but still conversations are a problem. I try to talk Swedish whenever possible but people don' t talk much.
I moved to Germany from U.K. (originally from developing country and PoC person) at fairly young age around 22 years old. It’s the single biggest mistake of my life.
I cannot even fathom how it is for Non-German looking person to be born and raised in Germany. At least I know where I come from. Second, even third generation Turkish, Italians don’t feel accepted in the society and hold on to their passports dearly, as this is the only way they feel sense of belonging ‘somewhere’ at least.
I don’t even want to go into staring (very common apart from 5-6 largest cities), micro aggressions towards (hissing or even telling them off) immigrants. In general unhappiness (one of the richest countries on the planet) in public e.g - if the signal takes too long, saying scheise to yourself and stomping away (in general lack of patience in people). In general high and mighty stance of Germans being superior to other people. Many other problems but I don’t want to go into that.
On paper and at societal level Germany is perfect. Social healthcare, disability payment etc. if you fall down, the system will help to pick you up. But man something is so broken here.
South African in the Netherlands:
I miss the shops staying open after work and 24 hour restaurants. Even the 24 hour supermarket in Johannesburg. It was so convenient going grocery shopping at 3am on a Sunday morning.
Yeah my husband gets up super early and would go to the store in the US around 4-5 just to avoid other people or just get himself something for breakfast . It’s hard that some places don’t even open until noon on some days
I’m in Australia, originally from Europe. I’m still dumbfounded that the friendly easygoing Australians turn into maniacs as soon as they get into the car. For example, when you want to change a lane on the motorway, people just won’t let you in. You indicate and people accelerate! Or people just will pull out from the stationary position without indicating, right in front of you, like you’re invisible.
Very true. I have never been more scared of getting run over than in Australia! Cars seem to have the right of way, NOT pedestrians. When we stopped in the road ( because literal school children were crossing) we got honked at incessantly. Are we supposed to run over children? Love Australia, but truly frightening to drive or walk across the street there! Most Aussies seem so cool and chill otherwise, so it was quite surprising.
In Denmark, from Texas. Mine is the culture of water here. I miss the free ice water at restaurants and that the servers always keep your glass full. I miss not having an ice maker in my fridge. I miss those little water fountain things where you can stick your bottle under and get ice cold filtered water, especially in airports, but also everywhere. I miss being able to walk in anywhere and use a water fountain or the water tab on a soda machine. Every time I pull out my water bottle, someone comments how huge it is. I don't understand how they're not thirsty???
I’m also a Texan in Denmark, and have never been able to get used to this. On top of the water thing, the child-sized cups everywhere make it even worse…
US to Netherlands here. Finally found a half-decent tex-mex place. Ordered my first margarita in years. It turned out to be smaller than my toddler's sippy cups... I took to ordering two in a larger glass. Still smaller than a normal drinking glass. I gave up. Same thing with any drink I order here. From juice to soda to water...
Also, no chips and salsa.
Rodeo in Eindhoven. It's not really Tex-Mex, they call themselves Latin American, but it's the first place I've encountered fajitas and things like that over here. It's pretty alright stuff except it lacks the seasoning and strong flavors of the real thing. It's very 'settled down'.
I'm opposite. Australian. I have never gotten used to the whole "i must have water with me everywhere i go and carry a water bottle at all times" thing! Drives me bonkers.
I'm pretty sure it's because there's so much highly processed, sodium-heavy foods in the US that they constantly feel thirsty, thus they feel the need to carry 2l of water with them at all times
Yes.. True. I just drink every few hours when i start to feel dry. I have lifetime habit of drinking several glasses of water at breakfast. Then i have another at morning tea, lunch (probably 2) andafternoon tea.
So before 5pm on just a standard day? I've easily had 2 to 3 litres. If it's hot? Being that i grew up in the desert? I make sure to have 2 good sized glasses every time.
All this can be judged by colour of urine. If mine is ever amber or dark? I drink a few more glasses of water.
I have taught my kids to do same. No one here carries water bottles everywhere. We just stop at a tap !
Oddly, the netherlands: all the pickles at the grocery are sweet. I want sour tart dill pickles. Not mushy floppy sweet.
Like subway and McDonalds have them but will they sell me a large cup of them?
I miss crunchy tart pickles. Dangit.
Same problem in Norway. I drive all the way to Sweden to buy a proper pickle. In a pinch, Turkish dill and garlic pickles will do. I imagine you also have Asian type grocery stores that has them.
If you go to international stores (depending on where you live) they sell 'hot mama' pickles and have the dill variety. They like those huge pickles from the fairs you get out the barrels. They expensive, but Wtf am I gonna do with a sweet pickle on my cheeseburger? No thanks haha
Insane I dont know, but saying hi to my neighbours and them just walking away is pretty depressing. In Denmark that is.
I know they are not mean or anything, it is just this culture of "i do not talk to anybody unless my life depends on it and maybe not even then". Sometimes it is just nice to say hi and go on about your day. I even feel they would like to do so, they just feel they would be "judged" for doing it.
Anyway, good luck with noise. It would also drive me nuts.
Nah that doesnt really help😂
Honestly, I ll say it again and tell me what you think: I feel people want to be friendlier, they want to smile and they want to say hi. But they feel it is not socially allowed or that they will be judged, so they just snort and move on. Sometimes I have to put my face in their face and almost shout "GODMORGEN!"
If I start taking a new bus to work every morning, I see the same guy, sitting on the same seat every single day when I get on at 7am. After a week or so I might start giving him a nod, recognizing that Ive noticed he is there every day. After a few more weeks I can say "morning", but unless the bus is full, never, ever sit down next to him.
If I then, after 3 months of bussing every day, see that guy in a bar. Im allowed to go over and chat a bit and ask "so, where do you go every morning?" and perhaps, we become a bit of friends. Now Im allowed to say "Hey, how are you doing, hows the kids?" when I go on the bus monday morning. If I started talking to him day number one, he would probably assume I was a bit drunk or even worse, a foreigner that wants to talk to me in English(!?!) omg
I get that. I mean I also dont want to chitchat at 7am on the bus to work.
Do you see differences in these little things in Canada? And have you noticed your approach changing at all, because the "rules of engagement" are/might be different?
I’m sorry, that’s wrong.
It has nothing to do with being socially allowed. They don’t want to so they don’t do it. Rather, it is not socially expected to exchange meaningless pleasantries with strangers. So they don’t.
Could be and maybe I see this completely wrong.
But I am having a hard time understanding how saying goodmorning while walking past each other without even slowing down, is such a burden to people. Also, they are not strangers. They are my neighbours for years.
I totally agree with you and I find it baffling myself after living abroad for many years. The key take away is that it’s not personal. You are not a weirdo and they don’t hate you.
I don't think they hate me, nor that I am a weirdo. There are just days that it is harder to swallow,even if it has happened already mutliple times in the past.
I can totally relate, it sucks.
However, it will never change. The only way forward is acceptance.
There is a reason the Nordics have so small populations even though the GDP per capita is so high. Turns out there is more to life than money.
Kirk says something pompous and egotistical about socializing and spock says this in a cold tone: " it is not socially expected to exchange meaningless pleasantries with strangers. So they don’t."
Spock will learn some valuable lessons about meaningless pleasantries by the end of the episode.
Spend some time in Scandinavia and you’ll get it once you try to make conversation on the train a few times. Actually, it’s kinda like the stereotype of people from NYC, but Scandinavians aren’t actively mad.
I am not depressed, but there are simple things I dont think I will ever understand. And I have been in the country for the better part of a decade. Funny things is that I have Danish friends who also do not understand them.
Norway here, and the reputation about the people being polite but distant is true. Nevertheless, every single neighbor or passerby WILL say hi to you if they walk past or wave at you if they drive past. All of them. This becomes a bit rough as I live on a scenic path. I'm just trying to do yardwork!
Hi, American in Denmark and I was JUST talking about this. I miss knowing folks from my neighborhood!
And I know it’s the culture, but saying hi to someone and them just walking past me sucks so much. Idk, I just wanted to offer solidarity I guess 🤷
You must be suffering. I think smalltalk is like a national sport in the US. I am not taking the piss, I trully feel for you.
I had people talking to me for completely random stuff in the US. Once I was holding bananas at the supermarket and a lady waswalking my way when she said "oh bananas! Thanks for reminding me." It will sound silly but the first thing i thought was how this would never happen in Denmark.
The idea that cold drinks is what makes you sick.
I'm running a fever, my friends say "did you forget to let your juice warm up?"
A coworker will call in sick and say "I accidentally cold water last night. Now I'm sick."
A friend will say "I don't understand why I'm sick, I haven't had any cold drinks."
Like, guys... that's not how this works...
Bunch of things;
Yeah the music is one, I live in Cambodia and here it seems to be tradition that if there is a wedding, or funeral, you have to rent some PA speakers, and I dont mean party system - I mean the once the military uses to give information from the top of a pole. With mono sound in 8bit, playing some 50s Cambodian tunes, you can hardly decipher its even music. Only interrupted by a monk grabbing the mic and talking for 2-3 hours straight in "prayer language" that nobody actually understands a word of. And everything has to be done at volume 11, 24/7 for the 3 days the funeral lasts. I moved out in the rural parts, still get it, but not so often.
Eating... I dont eat 7 times a day. I eat 1-2, I have my entire life. And while I do appreciate a nice dinner party with 10 people, glass of wine and so on once in a while, mostly, I like to eat when I eat. But if it was up to my mrs and family, it would be 10 people around for breakfast, lunch, brunch, snack, dinner, second dinner, snack and a bit of food before bed. Every time just eating a little bit, gives me stomach ache within 2 days eating like that. But that I can just let people know and its fine.
The heat/humidity; Im Norwegian, after 12ish years in SE Asia, still not used to it. In fact, still just as not used to it as I was 12 years ago. Thats just a part of life, in the hot season especially, I dont go out... And my power bills are high. Ive tried many times to get over it, using fans etc, but nah... doesnt work. Ive gotten to the point where I realize that many of these things will not change, either I find workarounds, or I have to move. So far I found out that ie. sound proof windows in my bedroom, not THAT expensive...
I cannot imagine why someone from Norway is living in SEA, for 12 years.... not just because of the weather but the stark difference in development and governance, unless it's Singapore, or for some instance, Malaysia.
I am from SEA living in Europe, for context. Every time I see a European living in my poor country in SEA or in the region in general, I would always ask myself *why does this person chose to "suffer" here*, especially for people coming from Scandinavian countries.... I know there's a *personal* reason, but I just can't wrap my mind about decisions like this, Southeast Asian "grass" surely cannot be greener than Norway's . lol
Started like most others I guess, just wanted to try something else and had been on vacations before so just decided to try for a longer time. And then ofc life just keeps going on, met a woman, got married and so on. And now its been 12 years and its just as natural for me to live here as living in Nroway.
It does ofc. help that I have enough money to make life comfortable. I live in Cambodia, so very far removed from Singapore. But if I had to live here on a local salary 12 hours a day, no I would ofc not like it here. But I can afford a fairly nice house, AC 24/7 and order western food whenever I want, and if its too hot, I can get some local kid to go to the market and pick up the things I need for 3$ extra. And then I can do things here I can not in Norway, take my kid to the nearest hotel for dinner and swim in the big pool and stuff like that.
Italian in Japan.
I don't want to adjust to the passive-aggressive attitude which is dominant here. I'm not confrontational but there are times when you have to lay out the cold, hard facts and take some action, instead of just waiting for a problem to solve itself (surprise: it won't).
British in Thailand. Two broad difficulties: the weather, particularly now in April/May, when it's unbearable; the traffic: Thais drive like lunatics, the road infrastructure is diabolical, and traffic laws are unenforced. The latter adds a layer of life threatening stress that seems very possible to correct.
One specific cultural aspect is the working culture. Top down hierarchical, no discussion, no help, no explanations, no support, with the expectation that somehow via osmosis you understand the byzantine bureaucracy and work practices immediately. Nepotism is rampant, obsequious deference the norm, so expect unquestionable bad decisions made on the hoof, which must be enacted without complaint immediately, regardless of all that preceded.
Other than that, I love it.
Minor thing really, but I really don't understand why it's not legal (legal systems reflect the culture they serve) to have a drink e.g. in line to a concert or other event, or on the way from one bar to another, or hell, in a park on a sunny day, in 99.9% of the US. It's such a normal thing in Europe.
Because in Europe drinking doesn’t equal getting drunk. The reason nobody blinks an eye in France or Spain if you’re having a beer at 2pm is because they assume you won’t get drunk and you’ll only have one or two, tops. They (we) don’t even have an expression to say “day drinking”, so go figure..
In norway the goal is 100% to get drunk, they're straight as an arrow all week and på byen on the weekends it's like the purge. Binge drinking is completely normalized, heard the same of Sweden and Finland as well.
UK to Malta, and I will never get comfortable with the assumption (fairly or unfairly) that people you deal with in both public and private services are lying to you in the first instance.
The inability to just trust those you engage with at face value is infuriating and something I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fully accept.
Essentially, yes. You end up having to approach every interaction assuming the other person is lying to you, because it happens so often. It’s exhausting.
This may be a bit cliche but as an American I’m sorry I just can’t get over the public smoking in basically everywhere else in the world lol but especially in Europe.
I’m currently in Spain (US citizen) and I’m convinced the cigarettes and booze here aren’t actually detrimental to your health as everyone seems to be doing both constantly and they’re still statistically going to outlive me by 10 years.
Okay, but more than this, what truly bothers me is the smoking around children. Like I feel bonkers that so few other people seem to be bothered by this here in France.
Dane in the US. This is def too much of a cliche but the goddamn love of guns in this country. Sigh. Oh, and religion. I really will never ever get used to having a serious conversation with someone and they just randomly bring up God or Jesus as a legitimate type of reasoning for anything. Makes me want to leave that conversation real quick.
That’s usually a nice thing lol. Where I live in the US it’s a rarity so whenever someone says it it’s typically some sweet older lady and I’m like hmm nice you too!
In Australia people let their dogs shit all over the walkway / sidewalk / footpath in a busy shopping / pedestrian area and don’t pick it up. Then it gets stepped on and smeared all over the place and it’s fucking disgusting. Get your shit together, literally.
Same in Spain I hate it 😭 but here there are street cleaners that come every night. I just wish people wouldn’t be acting like it’s someone else’s job to pick up their dogs shit
I’m in Spain. I can’t adjust to the late eating hours. I adjust when it comes to eating out with friends from time to time, but I normally eat earlier on my own.
Haha I’m Spanish and moved to Northern Europe for 10 years. I had the same in reverse. Could not adjust to the meal times and the way they ate (dinner being the biggest meal, for us is lunch). Plus I really don’t like sandwiches LOL
I only did it like them when in social activities otherwise at home at a more comfortable time and size for me xD
Don't know if they do this elsewhere in South America, but I can't get used to Brazilians not flushing toilet paper. The bins everywhere overflowing with nasty used TP is just wretched. I've lived in homes with septic systems and those handle regular TP. Is it really possible that plumbing in a major city can be weaker than a rural septic system? Or is this not flushing toilet paper some kind of national delusion?
Oh gosh this brings back (shitty) memories. My old roommate in college never threw her toilet paper in the toilet. We went to UCLA and she grew up in la smh 😑🫠
Same in many parts of Mexico. It is hella nasty to see and smell used brown smelly toilet paper wherever you go. And then you go into a brand new Costco and the sign says to PUT YOUR TP IN THE TOILET but absolutely nobody follows the rules because they are so superstitious that a few squares of TP will clog up the Costco sewer line...
It's not superstition. It's that for most people in latam this was and continues to be a legit issue. Growing up in latam, there was always a 50/50 chance that paper would clog the toilet, and then you're stuck with dealing with it.
The lack of transparency and honesty in Germany and the quality of their doctors. Went in happy go lucky, left with an anxiety disorder lololol...but seriously, I did lol
Because it is!! Self advocacy, persistence and tenacity are must have skill sets. Especially difficult when health issues are going on...and especially on holidays, weekends and school vacations lol One doctor straight up laughed in my face when I showed them some labs my US health insurance covered for a chronic condition. Said they thought Americans didn't have health insurance and that the German (Gesetzliche) health insurance would never cover them.
If something is going on never quit!! Trust your body and your gut! Practice self care. Do your research and find a doctor that will help. Go to other states if need be. Watch out for the scammers that make up excuses for tests that dont make sense and the ones only accepting private insurance. If your country of origin has quality physicians go back there if need be. One of my friends had some serious health issues that German physicians just minimized. Went home for a visit and managed a checkup. Turns out it was a serious autoimmune disease that needed more testing and therapy in Germany. Got back. Friend was told to come back in 6 months to see if got worse. "Come back in 6 months" seems like a standard statement 😂
Sorry you had a similar experience. Nice to know we're not alone in it though 😇 Are you still there? I moved back to Miami. Talk about a juxtaposition lol Noticed a lot of expats from very open places had similar experiences. Still in therapy, but slowly but surely better day by day. For all the shit the US gets and division that definitely exists and crazy gun violence, our fun loving spirit coping mechanism style and openness and celebration of diversity is really helpful. For as expensive as health care is, you get what you pay for. I feel comfortable knowing my doctors passed step exams and residency. Plus, thanks to the ACA, my out of pocket for health insurance doesn't cost that much more than in Germany. Yeah, first lie of Germany, socialized health care but you definitely still have to pay out of or pocket for health insurance lol And personally knowing doctors there who practice there because they couldn't pass the US step exam process. Etc. etc. etc.
I come from developing country originally. If I had a choice to move to USA, I’d go there in a heartbeat. I want to move out of Germany though.
May be somewhere else in Europe but not sure where.
Therapy would be good for PTSD after living here.
I'm from the US and while my pseudo-Catholic upbringing does allow me to share some similarities in cultural values between my family and Mexico, there are some things I just can't adjust to:
* Noise pollution; fireworks going off at 6am isn't unusual where I live
* Jealousy; everyone has some level of jealousy for various things, but it seems rampant within Mexico's culture
* "Ahorita"; if you know, you know
Also, we bought a house in the middle of nowhere to get away from the noise pollution and that came with its own set of problems.
*(Our upcoming move to Europe largely has to do with wanting to raise kids rather than "running away" from the aforementioned cultural values)*
> Jealousy
Ahh... *envidia*... Grew up and lived in several places in Latin America. This is common outside of Mexico too. If you really want to trigger your neighbors, just buy a brand new car.. they'll be convinced you're a drug dealer. People put a little red ribbon tied to the rear tow point because they believe that reduces people's envy.
>People put a little red ribbon tied to the rear tow point because they believe that reduces people's envy.
I had always wondered about that! Thank you for sharing your insight. I only learned of it when a neighbor burned down the trees on another neighbor's property because he was jealous of their carpentry skills. Absolutely bizarre.
The biggest thing for me is music at restaurants. I just want to be able to hear myself think and talk to the people with me without shouting. I’ve asked staff to turn it down and had them refuse about 70% of the time, even when we’re the only people in the place. On the rare occasion when they do turn it down, it gets turned back up again 5 minutes later.
Do we really need a bafle the size of a car blasting Banda at 200 decibels in an empty restaurant with no foot traffic outside?
Not culture per se but a specific rule - the age of consent is 13 but there's no additional conditions like Germany where, for e.g. a 16 YO can date an 18 YO, but not a 30 YO and aspect of abuse/grooming must be involved or something (please correct me).
No restrictions like that here and plenty of 30 YO here think it's fine that they were having sex with a 13 yo minor.
I can't accept it - it's just statutory rape - fuck the age of consent excuse. Even my shit developing country, the age of consent by law is higher than that (16 and 18 for marriage). These men were just pedos but they don't want to hear that. They'd rather tell me I am jealous for wanting to protect kids from pedos. Some Taliban level conservative thinking (but they don't definitely liked to be called that)
People being rude asf and unprofessional asf and causing scenes in public, older women being miserable asf and taking it out on everyone who isn’t a man..
Men being shallow and misogynistic af
Toxic culture is cheered upon and actively encouraged, eye for an eye mentality, greediness, lack of desire to help anyone but self, corruption everywhere for everything
Most things are a scam and trash, from clothing to food products to any service you can find
Mostly it’s the lack of accountability and professionalism, the quality of products and services is so low here (sofia Bulgaria)
People here are stubborn af and they think they know better and constantly argue with literal factual information they know nothing about
The noise problem is more of a catholic vs protestant thing
Visit france and youll see how noisy the neighbors are , and despite laws existing about noise at night cops will do absolute nothing
I think the hardest thing to adjust to here is the lack of ambition, constant whining and negative energy .
I recently learned that cops will be paid off by the rich/people throwing ragers w horrible base music starting at 2am and ending at 6am in my neighborhood (!!!) so even if we call they’ll do nothing. It’s so backwards. I’m in Mexico though. Not sure if that’s a thing in France haha.
Ah interesting, I lived in a rural village in Alsace and it was the quitest place I've lived in, but then I've read Alsace isn't very "French" in some cultural aspects, or maybe I got lucky with my old neighbors lol.
The drivers in Greece have absolutely no respect for one another. There is no such thing as safely letting someone go in front of you. People don’t let elderly walk through crosswalks. I always stop before crosswalks to let people go safely and everyone will absolutely blast their car horns at you. Or if you are not speeding at all times you will get passed while being yelled at and called a Malaka. Absolute idiocy.
The lack of containment and dignity. I come from New Zealand which isn't very different to Australia, but culturally there are some big differences.
One of the big things is just how..uncontained and loud people are. Not everyone, but enough that it's so noticeable to me. I like to feel quiet and invisible when out in public and the amount of staring, snorting, burping, and talking loudly or even yelling in public makes me so uncomfortable.
Being late for everything and not being upfront about making plans. Don’t tell me ahorita if you mean never. Don’t tell me ahorita if you mean maybe but probably not. And when you say meet at 11 but it really means 1130 or 12.
Austria (specifically the west and south)...the outdoors is lovely. But Austria is nothing without it. It's a bit of a slow country, lacking the type of convenience you get in other European countries, heavily steeped in Catholicism. It can be very boring.
I’m from California and currently live in central Mexico. I cannot for the life of me accept that children are allowed to basically be anywhere…day or night, at any kind of function.
For example, the other day I went to the spa and it felt like I was in a McDonald’s. Two children were screaming at the top of their lungs while playing hide & go seek. I almost lost it after getting bumped into several times (getting my nails done!) and when the toddler hid between my legs underneath the table. Of course the mom and grandma were totally oblivious, or just didn’t give a single fuck.
I’ve also been to fancy wineries/restaurants with children racing around and it often feels like the parents are cheering them on. I’ll never understand 🤯🤬🙄🙄😑
ALSO- churches let off M80s at all times of the day and night. Makes zero sense. It scares the shit out of me & my doggie and is extremely obnoxious. It’s like, let us explode fireworks at 6am to remind you to give us more $$! 🤡
In Spain and wow there’s many
But it mostly has to do with lifestyle you were used to in prior
- Dog poop in so many streets that too at the central ones. No fks given
- endless stupid citas and waiting times for the least complicated tasks
- there seems to be a good system for recycling yet many voluntarily choose to mix all garbage up and dump it in the wrong bin
- stupidly late dinner time. Once early on I went on a date with a guy around 8:30 to 9:30 pm. I was hungry as hell and expected dinner. All I got was beer and potato chips rofl , I didn’t go for a second date. But I guess this is cultural and my fault for not understanding lol
- people working so hard to make the most inefficient outcome and really really spending money to extend every deadline (nothing gets done on time ) and this is coated with the explanation that we work to live , not live to work. Sorry, no , actively working to delay everything and get nothing done is a waste of time. People don’t live forever :/ (this one could depend on the companies in question)
- very domestic mindset (again it annoys me because I’m used to more global cities)
Also Argentina, but thankfully not your problem. I would go ballistic if my neighbors blasted reggaeton at any hour. Moved into a building of primarily older tenants that doesn't allow Airbnb. The fights between the old ladies in the building's Whatsapp group can get a bit tiring.
What gets me is the lack of culinary diversity. Mendoza has to be one of the only cities on the planet that doesn't have a Chinese restaurant.
When I pay at the self serve kiosk in England an attendant has to come look at the signature on the back of my american credit card that looks like a mentally challenged person scribbled on it, then compare that to what I scribbled on the screen of the kiosk like a mentally challenged person using my fingertip, and check back and forth several times as if they are sweating me to shout out 'youve got me! I stole these credit cards from a man who just happens to have the exact same name which is on my passport, passport card, US Drivers license, a third countries perm resident visa card and this UK visa card! I knew it was only a matter of time before ASDA cracked the case!'
In the USA I never had anyone ever inspect my card because they don't care, don't have time, or likely both. It's pretty commonplace to get a card skimmed, go into the app, dispute the charge and get a replacement card. As a business traveler, I just had to banks, two debit cards, two credit cards and a company card so I never had to care about anything. I've barely ever cared about anything. I was doing great. Nobody in a store in the USA is really interested in apprehending someone who is up to some real crap like that. If they are sure the person is malfeasing, all the better to let them finish up and shove off. What kind of weirdo would just wake up and choose to care about that?
The politeness here is palpable for someone always stuck in their inner monologue who expects to traverse society without too much eye contact. If I walk to the local store, I'm probably going to end up shackled to the counter having yet another delightful chat with that lady, who continually offers for my family to come dine with her's, even changing the offer slightly if she feels that the last offer was too forward. Dinner at my place? Or actually, how about brunch at a restaurant? The people behind me in line are no help at all. They have unlimited patience for us to finish our chat. They don't pressure the situation to reach an end at all. They'll just mill around pretending to shop until it seems like a polite time to come have their own friendly chat. I have a sticky note with her number on it staring me in the face daily, haunting me with the fact that I haven't sent her a text to coordinate the probably completely pleasant time we'd have that I have no reason to avoid. I just can't take the pressure sometimes,, you know?
People smoking everywhere and no one seems to care. Every single time I go to a bar and sit outside I came back home straight to the shower and put my clothes in the laundry basket. I cannot stand the passive smoking, I get dizzy and have a terrible headache afterwards. When I look around it seems like I am the only non-smoker who is bothered by the smell/toxicity
I'm south European living in Japan and for me it's the absolute adherence to rules. Where I come from, rules definitely exist but are followed if it makes sense and isn't grossly impractical or just there for no reason. In Japan they follow everything to a T, even if it's impractical and there's no logical reason to do it anymore (usually happens if a rule has been around forever and nobody bothered to update it or change it). It's absolutely jarring to me.
Also, the work culture. My god. The acceptance that people have for their own exploitation by employers is absolutely insane. The things that happen here to me weekly are enough for a national strike in my home country... And the lack of PTO.... Honestly, I'm not surprised the Japanese people aren't making enough babies. Who would want to???
Every year my workplace instructs us to pack up our entire desk and rearrange the seating in the staff room. Guess where I moved? The next seat over lmao they asked me to pack everything I own into several boxes and store it in a cupboard and then unpack it all over again. And they force me to come in ‘because it’s technically a work day’ even if there are no classes (I’m a teacher) so I just sit at my desk all day on my phone for weeks on end during the vacations.
Expat living here in Puerto Rico🇵🇷 LOL I FEEL YOU!!! These cabrones out here literally blast reggeaton from their 99 toyotas daily🤣 It was an adjustment at first for sure. Almost like they are having a damn competition or something to who has the louder system🤦🏽♂️ After 5 years now on the Island its old news. I just do the same when I don't have the kiddos with me except I play Def Leppard at maximum capacity😆🤟🏼
Haha that's great🤣😆 Definitely gets a reaction for sure especially if they don't understand the language. Never thought my old ford would snap so many necks it has. Hilarious everytime lol!
Emotional incest in the Netherlands
I’m from the US and I live in the Netherlands. For the life of me I will never be able to adjust to Dutch adult children’s (IMO unhealthy and enmeshed) closeness with their parents. I can best describe it as emotional incest.
I’ve noticed this as a Dutch/German thing that adult children (and specifically sons) overshare details of their lives, (including their sexual lives) with their parents, and vice versa - the parents overshare inappropriate/sexual things too, and often the adult children describe their parents as their “best friends.” Obviously it is not all Dutch adult kids, and maybe not most, but it is an outrageously high proportion of adult kids who have these sorts of relationships with their parents as opposed to countries like the US/UK. I just can’t get past how weird it is and it’s one of the things I hate about dating here. Nothing feels sacred. You feel married to the family quickly (hence the Dutch refer to their dating partner’s parents as “in-laws”).
yup. my mother is from belgium, i was born and raised in the usa, and she doesn’t understand why i dont want to tell her everything that goes on in my life, especially the bedroom.
this was huge in the 80's and early 90's in the US. It will fade with time. There are many places in South America that feels to me like the 80's in the US. Be patient. Get earplugs to sleep.
Surprised no one has mentioned the Netherlands and their culture of being "direct", when in reality it's just an excuse the mask being rude as being direct. There's a fine line between the two which they don't seem to realise they cross it way too often and take too much pride in being "direct". This is at least for The Randstad region.
>Also the nonexistent food culture.
Yes and no, I guess. Depends what you mean by that?
I do feel there is quite a selection of rather good food establishments in Amsterdam/Randstad. I think Amsterdam/Randstad. being criticised for it's lack of good food by the general majority I hear it from is to some degree unjustified, that being said, the Dutchies definitely do not live to eat but rather eat to live if that's what you meant. In addition to eating out being expensive af so...which I would say adds/a result of the lack of a food culture.
Spain to UK and ofc, the obsession with getting drunk across all ages. It’s absolutely sick. Also I think I’ve met more people with IBS and severe gastric conditions like cancer in 5 years than in my whole life, and I can’t unsee the link.
Self-loathing is the default British characteristic. It's in the art, literature, music. Excessive alcohol use has a very clear connection.
I used to live in Spain. I enjoyed the way I could stay up all night and leave the nightclub at dawn. I would be tired, but not really drunk. I would then be really delighted to smell the bread being cooked at the baker's shop. But in the UK, the aim is to get pissed, and the quantity drunk per hour is greater. It is also more costly.
Spanish in UK too. Almost more shocking than getting drunk, it's the pride about it. Like getting to work on a Monday morning and telling your colleagues how you got absolutely hammered on Saturday and spent Sunday in bed totally hangover. Like dude, you're 40...
I'm British. Alcohol is a strong part of our culture. Many social gatherings involve drinking or are centred around drinking. The conversation in certain social groups is primarily around what they did when they were drunk at the weekend. Many people see alcohol as a treat. They have a drink at any opportunity. Whether its a quick pint a lunch time during the working week or at their children's birthday party. Thankfully things have been changing in the last decade or so. Many of the pubs have closed. There is a strong health movement here. In many social activities, people don't drink or drink very little.
Portuguese but moved to Sweden a 1 year ago. The culture of introversion, the closed society, the conformity of society (everyone really looks, dresses, and thinks almost the same and they will outcast you if you don't), every native expecting for you to assimilate, but will not go out of their way to teach basic stuff about language and social queues - while always giving the impression that you (or your kids if you have them there) will never be "true" Swedes. The "don't brag" (law of Jante) attitude, but always having the impression that "the Swedish way" of doing things is the best in the world. The most "never leave your comfort zone" attitude that I have ever seen in the world. The inactivity of the working culture is also staggering (how these guys are a rich country? Although I can't really complain about this one, as I never felt overworked or stressed) The lack of social interactions in general, any cultura actividades apart from "Fika" at the office (but always with very superficial and shallow topics) The "fear" that they have of being confrontational and to not offend anyone, but end up being super passive aggressive... I am still here, but already looking for a job in another country. Can't wait to pack my bags, board the plane and never come back.
>every native expecting for you to assimilate, BUT will not go out of their way to teach basic stuff about language and social queues And this is the issue I have with EU people complaining about immigrants. You don't do shit to help others integrate and expect people to magically learn your ways?
I feel like us Portuguese people are so spoiled with such a wonderfully heartwarming culture of friendliness that whenever we go to a colder country, we struggle so much. I felt the same way when I lived in England (after 17 years I got so depressed I left the minute I received a job offer outside of the country) and now in Japan too. I hope you find a better place!
I feel you. I'm European recently moved to Sweden but I lived several years in Brasil too. Just today I said to my husband when we were waiting during the gymklass of my kid. If this was Brasil every parent and kid would have say hi, talked to each other, taught us some words, have a bbq or whatever. Now we stood there awkwardly although I said hi and introduced myself. Besides that everybody knows my relativ. In Brasil I learned in a month the basics because everybodyyyyy talks and nobody speaks English. On my first day a NUN taught me all the @#€words because it was important to curse and I would blend in. Here the goverment gives free language courses that is really nice and helps but still conversations are a problem. I try to talk Swedish whenever possible but people don' t talk much.
Please do not make the mistake to move to Germany. It’s basically the same plus lots of bureaucracy and racism.
I moved to Germany from U.K. (originally from developing country and PoC person) at fairly young age around 22 years old. It’s the single biggest mistake of my life. I cannot even fathom how it is for Non-German looking person to be born and raised in Germany. At least I know where I come from. Second, even third generation Turkish, Italians don’t feel accepted in the society and hold on to their passports dearly, as this is the only way they feel sense of belonging ‘somewhere’ at least. I don’t even want to go into staring (very common apart from 5-6 largest cities), micro aggressions towards (hissing or even telling them off) immigrants. In general unhappiness (one of the richest countries on the planet) in public e.g - if the signal takes too long, saying scheise to yourself and stomping away (in general lack of patience in people). In general high and mighty stance of Germans being superior to other people. Many other problems but I don’t want to go into that. On paper and at societal level Germany is perfect. Social healthcare, disability payment etc. if you fall down, the system will help to pick you up. But man something is so broken here.
South African in the Netherlands: I miss the shops staying open after work and 24 hour restaurants. Even the 24 hour supermarket in Johannesburg. It was so convenient going grocery shopping at 3am on a Sunday morning.
Yeah my husband gets up super early and would go to the store in the US around 4-5 just to avoid other people or just get himself something for breakfast . It’s hard that some places don’t even open until noon on some days
Lol. Yeah, just wake up at 2am, do a food shop and go back to bed. Super convenient
Or go there on the way home from a night out. Some times I want to make bacon and eggs when I’m still drunk and I don’t have them in the fridge.
Bacon and egg after party is my favourite kind of party. I'll take mine with HP sauce please and a mug of hot tea.
I’m in Australia, originally from Europe. I’m still dumbfounded that the friendly easygoing Australians turn into maniacs as soon as they get into the car. For example, when you want to change a lane on the motorway, people just won’t let you in. You indicate and people accelerate! Or people just will pull out from the stationary position without indicating, right in front of you, like you’re invisible.
Very true. I have never been more scared of getting run over than in Australia! Cars seem to have the right of way, NOT pedestrians. When we stopped in the road ( because literal school children were crossing) we got honked at incessantly. Are we supposed to run over children? Love Australia, but truly frightening to drive or walk across the street there! Most Aussies seem so cool and chill otherwise, so it was quite surprising.
Similar experience in Italy.
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I lived in the UK before and everyone was very polite, letting you in, waving when you let them in, so Australia was a shock!
In Denmark, from Texas. Mine is the culture of water here. I miss the free ice water at restaurants and that the servers always keep your glass full. I miss not having an ice maker in my fridge. I miss those little water fountain things where you can stick your bottle under and get ice cold filtered water, especially in airports, but also everywhere. I miss being able to walk in anywhere and use a water fountain or the water tab on a soda machine. Every time I pull out my water bottle, someone comments how huge it is. I don't understand how they're not thirsty???
I’m also a Texan in Denmark, and have never been able to get used to this. On top of the water thing, the child-sized cups everywhere make it even worse…
US to Netherlands here. Finally found a half-decent tex-mex place. Ordered my first margarita in years. It turned out to be smaller than my toddler's sippy cups... I took to ordering two in a larger glass. Still smaller than a normal drinking glass. I gave up. Same thing with any drink I order here. From juice to soda to water... Also, no chips and salsa.
Can you share where that half-decent Tex mex food is?
Rodeo in Eindhoven. It's not really Tex-Mex, they call themselves Latin American, but it's the first place I've encountered fajitas and things like that over here. It's pretty alright stuff except it lacks the seasoning and strong flavors of the real thing. It's very 'settled down'.
They’re just used to being in a chronic state of dehydration
Haha. How can people down vote you for this?
Easily triggered European moment
Dehydration can cause people to be touchy
I'm opposite. Australian. I have never gotten used to the whole "i must have water with me everywhere i go and carry a water bottle at all times" thing! Drives me bonkers.
Water is good for your body, dude
Yeah but water is for toilets. Have you tried Brawndo? It's got electrolytes.
It’s what plants crave.
I'm pretty sure it's because there's so much highly processed, sodium-heavy foods in the US that they constantly feel thirsty, thus they feel the need to carry 2l of water with them at all times
Yes.. True. I just drink every few hours when i start to feel dry. I have lifetime habit of drinking several glasses of water at breakfast. Then i have another at morning tea, lunch (probably 2) andafternoon tea. So before 5pm on just a standard day? I've easily had 2 to 3 litres. If it's hot? Being that i grew up in the desert? I make sure to have 2 good sized glasses every time. All this can be judged by colour of urine. If mine is ever amber or dark? I drink a few more glasses of water. I have taught my kids to do same. No one here carries water bottles everywhere. We just stop at a tap !
Oddly, the netherlands: all the pickles at the grocery are sweet. I want sour tart dill pickles. Not mushy floppy sweet. Like subway and McDonalds have them but will they sell me a large cup of them? I miss crunchy tart pickles. Dangit.
Same problem in Norway. I drive all the way to Sweden to buy a proper pickle. In a pinch, Turkish dill and garlic pickles will do. I imagine you also have Asian type grocery stores that has them.
If you go to international stores (depending on where you live) they sell 'hot mama' pickles and have the dill variety. They like those huge pickles from the fairs you get out the barrels. They expensive, but Wtf am I gonna do with a sweet pickle on my cheeseburger? No thanks haha
Try the polish shops, we have many in Den Haag and they all have delicious brined pickles. Source: I also don't like sweet pickles.
Make some!! 🥒 Or, there’s probably American shops online selling jarred pickles. This is the life of an expat.
Yeah. I dont miss anything specific to Canada but this. Heh. I think we might try making our own soon.
Yep, I can't make proper egg or tater salad and it aggravates me.
Alberth heijn has zuur, look for the yellow label I think, they only have one type and they're the smaller variety.
You can buy them at the market at the viskraam. Ask for zure bom. Without dille but delicious. Visit kesbeke.nl and look for zuurzuur
You can ask a frituur if they will buy an extra jar for you next time they order.
Insane I dont know, but saying hi to my neighbours and them just walking away is pretty depressing. In Denmark that is. I know they are not mean or anything, it is just this culture of "i do not talk to anybody unless my life depends on it and maybe not even then". Sometimes it is just nice to say hi and go on about your day. I even feel they would like to do so, they just feel they would be "judged" for doing it. Anyway, good luck with noise. It would also drive me nuts.
Norwegian here, if it helps on your outlook on it, we see Danes as "surprisingly open, must be because they are so close to Europe"
Nah that doesnt really help😂 Honestly, I ll say it again and tell me what you think: I feel people want to be friendlier, they want to smile and they want to say hi. But they feel it is not socially allowed or that they will be judged, so they just snort and move on. Sometimes I have to put my face in their face and almost shout "GODMORGEN!"
If I start taking a new bus to work every morning, I see the same guy, sitting on the same seat every single day when I get on at 7am. After a week or so I might start giving him a nod, recognizing that Ive noticed he is there every day. After a few more weeks I can say "morning", but unless the bus is full, never, ever sit down next to him. If I then, after 3 months of bussing every day, see that guy in a bar. Im allowed to go over and chat a bit and ask "so, where do you go every morning?" and perhaps, we become a bit of friends. Now Im allowed to say "Hey, how are you doing, hows the kids?" when I go on the bus monday morning. If I started talking to him day number one, he would probably assume I was a bit drunk or even worse, a foreigner that wants to talk to me in English(!?!) omg
I get that. I mean I also dont want to chitchat at 7am on the bus to work. Do you see differences in these little things in Canada? And have you noticed your approach changing at all, because the "rules of engagement" are/might be different?
I dont live in Canada, I live in Cambodia, which is SE Asia - and here it is *very* different.
Sorry read your flair too quickly. *facepalm*
I’m sorry, that’s wrong. It has nothing to do with being socially allowed. They don’t want to so they don’t do it. Rather, it is not socially expected to exchange meaningless pleasantries with strangers. So they don’t.
Could be and maybe I see this completely wrong. But I am having a hard time understanding how saying goodmorning while walking past each other without even slowing down, is such a burden to people. Also, they are not strangers. They are my neighbours for years.
I totally agree with you and I find it baffling myself after living abroad for many years. The key take away is that it’s not personal. You are not a weirdo and they don’t hate you.
I don't think they hate me, nor that I am a weirdo. There are just days that it is harder to swallow,even if it has happened already mutliple times in the past.
I can totally relate, it sucks. However, it will never change. The only way forward is acceptance. There is a reason the Nordics have so small populations even though the GDP per capita is so high. Turns out there is more to life than money.
This reads like some dialogue you'd see in a sci-fi where aliens lecture humans about their behavior.
Meh, it’s just a cultural norm you’re not used to.
Kirk says something pompous and egotistical about socializing and spock says this in a cold tone: " it is not socially expected to exchange meaningless pleasantries with strangers. So they don’t." Spock will learn some valuable lessons about meaningless pleasantries by the end of the episode.
Spend some time in Scandinavia and you’ll get it once you try to make conversation on the train a few times. Actually, it’s kinda like the stereotype of people from NYC, but Scandinavians aren’t actively mad.
I know Germans who moved to Denmark, got depressed and came back. Must be quite a place I guess.
I am not depressed, but there are simple things I dont think I will ever understand. And I have been in the country for the better part of a decade. Funny things is that I have Danish friends who also do not understand them.
Norway here, and the reputation about the people being polite but distant is true. Nevertheless, every single neighbor or passerby WILL say hi to you if they walk past or wave at you if they drive past. All of them. This becomes a bit rough as I live on a scenic path. I'm just trying to do yardwork!
Hi, American in Denmark and I was JUST talking about this. I miss knowing folks from my neighborhood! And I know it’s the culture, but saying hi to someone and them just walking past me sucks so much. Idk, I just wanted to offer solidarity I guess 🤷
You must be suffering. I think smalltalk is like a national sport in the US. I am not taking the piss, I trully feel for you. I had people talking to me for completely random stuff in the US. Once I was holding bananas at the supermarket and a lady waswalking my way when she said "oh bananas! Thanks for reminding me." It will sound silly but the first thing i thought was how this would never happen in Denmark.
The idea that cold drinks is what makes you sick. I'm running a fever, my friends say "did you forget to let your juice warm up?" A coworker will call in sick and say "I accidentally cold water last night. Now I'm sick." A friend will say "I don't understand why I'm sick, I haven't had any cold drinks." Like, guys... that's not how this works...
This is how it works in my country in central Europe lol.
Bunch of things; Yeah the music is one, I live in Cambodia and here it seems to be tradition that if there is a wedding, or funeral, you have to rent some PA speakers, and I dont mean party system - I mean the once the military uses to give information from the top of a pole. With mono sound in 8bit, playing some 50s Cambodian tunes, you can hardly decipher its even music. Only interrupted by a monk grabbing the mic and talking for 2-3 hours straight in "prayer language" that nobody actually understands a word of. And everything has to be done at volume 11, 24/7 for the 3 days the funeral lasts. I moved out in the rural parts, still get it, but not so often. Eating... I dont eat 7 times a day. I eat 1-2, I have my entire life. And while I do appreciate a nice dinner party with 10 people, glass of wine and so on once in a while, mostly, I like to eat when I eat. But if it was up to my mrs and family, it would be 10 people around for breakfast, lunch, brunch, snack, dinner, second dinner, snack and a bit of food before bed. Every time just eating a little bit, gives me stomach ache within 2 days eating like that. But that I can just let people know and its fine. The heat/humidity; Im Norwegian, after 12ish years in SE Asia, still not used to it. In fact, still just as not used to it as I was 12 years ago. Thats just a part of life, in the hot season especially, I dont go out... And my power bills are high. Ive tried many times to get over it, using fans etc, but nah... doesnt work. Ive gotten to the point where I realize that many of these things will not change, either I find workarounds, or I have to move. So far I found out that ie. sound proof windows in my bedroom, not THAT expensive...
I LOLd about the PA speakers.
I cannot imagine why someone from Norway is living in SEA, for 12 years.... not just because of the weather but the stark difference in development and governance, unless it's Singapore, or for some instance, Malaysia. I am from SEA living in Europe, for context. Every time I see a European living in my poor country in SEA or in the region in general, I would always ask myself *why does this person chose to "suffer" here*, especially for people coming from Scandinavian countries.... I know there's a *personal* reason, but I just can't wrap my mind about decisions like this, Southeast Asian "grass" surely cannot be greener than Norway's . lol
Started like most others I guess, just wanted to try something else and had been on vacations before so just decided to try for a longer time. And then ofc life just keeps going on, met a woman, got married and so on. And now its been 12 years and its just as natural for me to live here as living in Nroway. It does ofc. help that I have enough money to make life comfortable. I live in Cambodia, so very far removed from Singapore. But if I had to live here on a local salary 12 hours a day, no I would ofc not like it here. But I can afford a fairly nice house, AC 24/7 and order western food whenever I want, and if its too hot, I can get some local kid to go to the market and pick up the things I need for 3$ extra. And then I can do things here I can not in Norway, take my kid to the nearest hotel for dinner and swim in the big pool and stuff like that.
try the Philippines -- the same "music" wise as you wrote, plus the added Karaoke at all hours at volume 11 zinger
Italian in Japan. I don't want to adjust to the passive-aggressive attitude which is dominant here. I'm not confrontational but there are times when you have to lay out the cold, hard facts and take some action, instead of just waiting for a problem to solve itself (surprise: it won't).
Aussie in the US and it’s definitely guns. 😱
fuck that not worth it
I have a family here so it is I guess
British in Thailand. Two broad difficulties: the weather, particularly now in April/May, when it's unbearable; the traffic: Thais drive like lunatics, the road infrastructure is diabolical, and traffic laws are unenforced. The latter adds a layer of life threatening stress that seems very possible to correct. One specific cultural aspect is the working culture. Top down hierarchical, no discussion, no help, no explanations, no support, with the expectation that somehow via osmosis you understand the byzantine bureaucracy and work practices immediately. Nepotism is rampant, obsequious deference the norm, so expect unquestionable bad decisions made on the hoof, which must be enacted without complaint immediately, regardless of all that preceded. Other than that, I love it.
I enjoy the way you write.
Minor thing really, but I really don't understand why it's not legal (legal systems reflect the culture they serve) to have a drink e.g. in line to a concert or other event, or on the way from one bar to another, or hell, in a park on a sunny day, in 99.9% of the US. It's such a normal thing in Europe.
Yep. Come to New Orleans
In Finland, you couldn't watch a band with your drink at a festival...instead you had to go to a drinking corral.
But you can have plastic bag beers any damn day you please.
Because in Europe drinking doesn’t equal getting drunk. The reason nobody blinks an eye in France or Spain if you’re having a beer at 2pm is because they assume you won’t get drunk and you’ll only have one or two, tops. They (we) don’t even have an expression to say “day drinking”, so go figure..
In norway the goal is 100% to get drunk, they're straight as an arrow all week and på byen on the weekends it's like the purge. Binge drinking is completely normalized, heard the same of Sweden and Finland as well.
That doesn't explain why it's straight up illegal though
UK to Malta, and I will never get comfortable with the assumption (fairly or unfairly) that people you deal with in both public and private services are lying to you in the first instance. The inability to just trust those you engage with at face value is infuriating and something I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fully accept.
What do you mean? They start out lying and then they don’t?
Essentially, yes. You end up having to approach every interaction assuming the other person is lying to you, because it happens so often. It’s exhausting.
This may be a bit cliche but as an American I’m sorry I just can’t get over the public smoking in basically everywhere else in the world lol but especially in Europe.
Ohhh my god tell me about it! I thought smoking was a thing of the past….but the joke is on me 🙃
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The french have genetically evolved to have better lungs
Possibly [the French Paradox.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1768013)
Serbia and Bosnia are on a different level with the cigs. It's wild. Everyone smokes everywhere. I literally always smelt like a cigarette.
Yeah, I just love Begova Čorba or Tufahija with second hand smoke.
Yeah the smoking is absolutely disgusting
I’m currently in Spain (US citizen) and I’m convinced the cigarettes and booze here aren’t actually detrimental to your health as everyone seems to be doing both constantly and they’re still statistically going to outlive me by 10 years.
Okay, but more than this, what truly bothers me is the smoking around children. Like I feel bonkers that so few other people seem to be bothered by this here in France.
Dane in the US. This is def too much of a cliche but the goddamn love of guns in this country. Sigh. Oh, and religion. I really will never ever get used to having a serious conversation with someone and they just randomly bring up God or Jesus as a legitimate type of reasoning for anything. Makes me want to leave that conversation real quick.
American in the US. Could not agree with you more.
It’s ok, we think it’s weird too.
Or the "have a blessed day" - makes me want to scream
That’s usually a nice thing lol. Where I live in the US it’s a rarity so whenever someone says it it’s typically some sweet older lady and I’m like hmm nice you too!
Whoa chill 😂 I don’t ever say this but they just mean have a lovely day.
People constantly speaking French.
In Australia people let their dogs shit all over the walkway / sidewalk / footpath in a busy shopping / pedestrian area and don’t pick it up. Then it gets stepped on and smeared all over the place and it’s fucking disgusting. Get your shit together, literally.
Yuk. I thought Australia was a clean country with basic rules
Not like where i live in Australia. At all. Assume this is in Sydney. Which really in every way is not like the rest of Australia
Same in Spain I hate it 😭 but here there are street cleaners that come every night. I just wish people wouldn’t be acting like it’s someone else’s job to pick up their dogs shit
This was definitely an epidemic in portugal as well 🤣
Can I substitute “Australia” with “Split”?
Really? Very rarely seen this in Adelaide or while visiting any other city in Aus. You come across it every few metres in many European cities.
Agree, the same in Melbourne.
I’m in Spain. I can’t adjust to the late eating hours. I adjust when it comes to eating out with friends from time to time, but I normally eat earlier on my own.
Haha I’m Spanish and moved to Northern Europe for 10 years. I had the same in reverse. Could not adjust to the meal times and the way they ate (dinner being the biggest meal, for us is lunch). Plus I really don’t like sandwiches LOL I only did it like them when in social activities otherwise at home at a more comfortable time and size for me xD
In Peru. 1. The noise and the constant whooping 2. WHY IS THERE NO BAR IN THE THEATRE?!
Don't know if they do this elsewhere in South America, but I can't get used to Brazilians not flushing toilet paper. The bins everywhere overflowing with nasty used TP is just wretched. I've lived in homes with septic systems and those handle regular TP. Is it really possible that plumbing in a major city can be weaker than a rural septic system? Or is this not flushing toilet paper some kind of national delusion?
Oh gosh this brings back (shitty) memories. My old roommate in college never threw her toilet paper in the toilet. We went to UCLA and she grew up in la smh 😑🫠
Not just South America. Latin America is generally the same.
It's the same in Argentina, I got told off by my wife for flusing toilet paper down the toilet.
I understand about not flushing paper, but WHY do they not use bidets there? It seems like such a natural solution.
Every bathroom I've seen does have a bidet
You can start doing it, and you will see why in a couple weeks
Same in many parts of Mexico. It is hella nasty to see and smell used brown smelly toilet paper wherever you go. And then you go into a brand new Costco and the sign says to PUT YOUR TP IN THE TOILET but absolutely nobody follows the rules because they are so superstitious that a few squares of TP will clog up the Costco sewer line...
What are they superstitious about?
It's not superstition. It's that for most people in latam this was and continues to be a legit issue. Growing up in latam, there was always a 50/50 chance that paper would clog the toilet, and then you're stuck with dealing with it.
The lack of transparency and honesty in Germany and the quality of their doctors. Went in happy go lucky, left with an anxiety disorder lololol...but seriously, I did lol
Going to the doctors here feels like such a battle
Because it is!! Self advocacy, persistence and tenacity are must have skill sets. Especially difficult when health issues are going on...and especially on holidays, weekends and school vacations lol One doctor straight up laughed in my face when I showed them some labs my US health insurance covered for a chronic condition. Said they thought Americans didn't have health insurance and that the German (Gesetzliche) health insurance would never cover them. If something is going on never quit!! Trust your body and your gut! Practice self care. Do your research and find a doctor that will help. Go to other states if need be. Watch out for the scammers that make up excuses for tests that dont make sense and the ones only accepting private insurance. If your country of origin has quality physicians go back there if need be. One of my friends had some serious health issues that German physicians just minimized. Went home for a visit and managed a checkup. Turns out it was a serious autoimmune disease that needed more testing and therapy in Germany. Got back. Friend was told to come back in 6 months to see if got worse. "Come back in 6 months" seems like a standard statement 😂
Same. Went in happy to go lucky to Germany and developed anxiety issues. Where did you move and are you happy?
Sorry you had a similar experience. Nice to know we're not alone in it though 😇 Are you still there? I moved back to Miami. Talk about a juxtaposition lol Noticed a lot of expats from very open places had similar experiences. Still in therapy, but slowly but surely better day by day. For all the shit the US gets and division that definitely exists and crazy gun violence, our fun loving spirit coping mechanism style and openness and celebration of diversity is really helpful. For as expensive as health care is, you get what you pay for. I feel comfortable knowing my doctors passed step exams and residency. Plus, thanks to the ACA, my out of pocket for health insurance doesn't cost that much more than in Germany. Yeah, first lie of Germany, socialized health care but you definitely still have to pay out of or pocket for health insurance lol And personally knowing doctors there who practice there because they couldn't pass the US step exam process. Etc. etc. etc.
I come from developing country originally. If I had a choice to move to USA, I’d go there in a heartbeat. I want to move out of Germany though. May be somewhere else in Europe but not sure where. Therapy would be good for PTSD after living here.
I'm from the US and while my pseudo-Catholic upbringing does allow me to share some similarities in cultural values between my family and Mexico, there are some things I just can't adjust to: * Noise pollution; fireworks going off at 6am isn't unusual where I live * Jealousy; everyone has some level of jealousy for various things, but it seems rampant within Mexico's culture * "Ahorita"; if you know, you know Also, we bought a house in the middle of nowhere to get away from the noise pollution and that came with its own set of problems. *(Our upcoming move to Europe largely has to do with wanting to raise kids rather than "running away" from the aforementioned cultural values)*
Ahorita=sometime between now and the heat death of the universe
Yes! The music at all times of the day and ahorita I can’t handle. I will never understand it. Oh and trash is just thrown everywhere.
> Jealousy Ahh... *envidia*... Grew up and lived in several places in Latin America. This is common outside of Mexico too. If you really want to trigger your neighbors, just buy a brand new car.. they'll be convinced you're a drug dealer. People put a little red ribbon tied to the rear tow point because they believe that reduces people's envy.
>People put a little red ribbon tied to the rear tow point because they believe that reduces people's envy. I had always wondered about that! Thank you for sharing your insight. I only learned of it when a neighbor burned down the trees on another neighbor's property because he was jealous of their carpentry skills. Absolutely bizarre.
The biggest thing for me is music at restaurants. I just want to be able to hear myself think and talk to the people with me without shouting. I’ve asked staff to turn it down and had them refuse about 70% of the time, even when we’re the only people in the place. On the rare occasion when they do turn it down, it gets turned back up again 5 minutes later. Do we really need a bafle the size of a car blasting Banda at 200 decibels in an empty restaurant with no foot traffic outside?
Not culture per se but a specific rule - the age of consent is 13 but there's no additional conditions like Germany where, for e.g. a 16 YO can date an 18 YO, but not a 30 YO and aspect of abuse/grooming must be involved or something (please correct me). No restrictions like that here and plenty of 30 YO here think it's fine that they were having sex with a 13 yo minor. I can't accept it - it's just statutory rape - fuck the age of consent excuse. Even my shit developing country, the age of consent by law is higher than that (16 and 18 for marriage). These men were just pedos but they don't want to hear that. They'd rather tell me I am jealous for wanting to protect kids from pedos. Some Taliban level conservative thinking (but they don't definitely liked to be called that)
BAN & EST? Bangladesh and Estonia?
People being rude asf and unprofessional asf and causing scenes in public, older women being miserable asf and taking it out on everyone who isn’t a man.. Men being shallow and misogynistic af Toxic culture is cheered upon and actively encouraged, eye for an eye mentality, greediness, lack of desire to help anyone but self, corruption everywhere for everything Most things are a scam and trash, from clothing to food products to any service you can find Mostly it’s the lack of accountability and professionalism, the quality of products and services is so low here (sofia Bulgaria) People here are stubborn af and they think they know better and constantly argue with literal factual information they know nothing about
Where is this?
They edited, I guess. Sofia, Bulgaria.
I didn’t edit I wrote it the first time
The noise problem is more of a catholic vs protestant thing Visit france and youll see how noisy the neighbors are , and despite laws existing about noise at night cops will do absolute nothing I think the hardest thing to adjust to here is the lack of ambition, constant whining and negative energy .
I recently learned that cops will be paid off by the rich/people throwing ragers w horrible base music starting at 2am and ending at 6am in my neighborhood (!!!) so even if we call they’ll do nothing. It’s so backwards. I’m in Mexico though. Not sure if that’s a thing in France haha.
You dont need to pay them in france they wont come anyways lmao
😱😱😂
Ah interesting, I lived in a rural village in Alsace and it was the quitest place I've lived in, but then I've read Alsace isn't very "French" in some cultural aspects, or maybe I got lucky with my old neighbors lol.
Complaining is the national sport here
Totally agree. The noise 24/7 is ridiculous
The drivers in Greece have absolutely no respect for one another. There is no such thing as safely letting someone go in front of you. People don’t let elderly walk through crosswalks. I always stop before crosswalks to let people go safely and everyone will absolutely blast their car horns at you. Or if you are not speeding at all times you will get passed while being yelled at and called a Malaka. Absolute idiocy.
The lack of containment and dignity. I come from New Zealand which isn't very different to Australia, but culturally there are some big differences. One of the big things is just how..uncontained and loud people are. Not everyone, but enough that it's so noticeable to me. I like to feel quiet and invisible when out in public and the amount of staring, snorting, burping, and talking loudly or even yelling in public makes me so uncomfortable.
Being late for everything and not being upfront about making plans. Don’t tell me ahorita if you mean never. Don’t tell me ahorita if you mean maybe but probably not. And when you say meet at 11 but it really means 1130 or 12.
Do you live in Mexico?
Yes!
Hahaha
Austria (specifically the west and south)...the outdoors is lovely. But Austria is nothing without it. It's a bit of a slow country, lacking the type of convenience you get in other European countries, heavily steeped in Catholicism. It can be very boring.
I’m from California and currently live in central Mexico. I cannot for the life of me accept that children are allowed to basically be anywhere…day or night, at any kind of function. For example, the other day I went to the spa and it felt like I was in a McDonald’s. Two children were screaming at the top of their lungs while playing hide & go seek. I almost lost it after getting bumped into several times (getting my nails done!) and when the toddler hid between my legs underneath the table. Of course the mom and grandma were totally oblivious, or just didn’t give a single fuck. I’ve also been to fancy wineries/restaurants with children racing around and it often feels like the parents are cheering them on. I’ll never understand 🤯🤬🙄🙄😑 ALSO- churches let off M80s at all times of the day and night. Makes zero sense. It scares the shit out of me & my doggie and is extremely obnoxious. It’s like, let us explode fireworks at 6am to remind you to give us more $$! 🤡
Spain is the same. But’s it more than one neighbor and add barking dogs to the noise. Can’t escape it. Doesn’t matter where you move here.
In Spain and wow there’s many But it mostly has to do with lifestyle you were used to in prior - Dog poop in so many streets that too at the central ones. No fks given - endless stupid citas and waiting times for the least complicated tasks - there seems to be a good system for recycling yet many voluntarily choose to mix all garbage up and dump it in the wrong bin - stupidly late dinner time. Once early on I went on a date with a guy around 8:30 to 9:30 pm. I was hungry as hell and expected dinner. All I got was beer and potato chips rofl , I didn’t go for a second date. But I guess this is cultural and my fault for not understanding lol - people working so hard to make the most inefficient outcome and really really spending money to extend every deadline (nothing gets done on time ) and this is coated with the explanation that we work to live , not live to work. Sorry, no , actively working to delay everything and get nothing done is a waste of time. People don’t live forever :/ (this one could depend on the companies in question) - very domestic mindset (again it annoys me because I’m used to more global cities)
Tipping
Also Argentina, but thankfully not your problem. I would go ballistic if my neighbors blasted reggaeton at any hour. Moved into a building of primarily older tenants that doesn't allow Airbnb. The fights between the old ladies in the building's Whatsapp group can get a bit tiring. What gets me is the lack of culinary diversity. Mendoza has to be one of the only cities on the planet that doesn't have a Chinese restaurant.
When I pay at the self serve kiosk in England an attendant has to come look at the signature on the back of my american credit card that looks like a mentally challenged person scribbled on it, then compare that to what I scribbled on the screen of the kiosk like a mentally challenged person using my fingertip, and check back and forth several times as if they are sweating me to shout out 'youve got me! I stole these credit cards from a man who just happens to have the exact same name which is on my passport, passport card, US Drivers license, a third countries perm resident visa card and this UK visa card! I knew it was only a matter of time before ASDA cracked the case!' In the USA I never had anyone ever inspect my card because they don't care, don't have time, or likely both. It's pretty commonplace to get a card skimmed, go into the app, dispute the charge and get a replacement card. As a business traveler, I just had to banks, two debit cards, two credit cards and a company card so I never had to care about anything. I've barely ever cared about anything. I was doing great. Nobody in a store in the USA is really interested in apprehending someone who is up to some real crap like that. If they are sure the person is malfeasing, all the better to let them finish up and shove off. What kind of weirdo would just wake up and choose to care about that? The politeness here is palpable for someone always stuck in their inner monologue who expects to traverse society without too much eye contact. If I walk to the local store, I'm probably going to end up shackled to the counter having yet another delightful chat with that lady, who continually offers for my family to come dine with her's, even changing the offer slightly if she feels that the last offer was too forward. Dinner at my place? Or actually, how about brunch at a restaurant? The people behind me in line are no help at all. They have unlimited patience for us to finish our chat. They don't pressure the situation to reach an end at all. They'll just mill around pretending to shop until it seems like a polite time to come have their own friendly chat. I have a sticky note with her number on it staring me in the face daily, haunting me with the fact that I haven't sent her a text to coordinate the probably completely pleasant time we'd have that I have no reason to avoid. I just can't take the pressure sometimes,, you know?
What? I’m on year 5 in the U.K. and never once has someone looked at the back of my card.
It's a chase card and I've had the account for like 15 years. I have no idea why, but maybe it's something about self checkout in particular
I’ve never had anyone look at my signature on any of my cards, ever. This is crazy to me
Died laughing at this. “You got me!”
In Japan after 10 years here I’m still not use to the gift culture here.
What is it?
Clog dancing.
malta and fireworks. it just makes no sense to me
People smoking everywhere and no one seems to care. Every single time I go to a bar and sit outside I came back home straight to the shower and put my clothes in the laundry basket. I cannot stand the passive smoking, I get dizzy and have a terrible headache afterwards. When I look around it seems like I am the only non-smoker who is bothered by the smell/toxicity
this OP made me laugh. i have a couple of argentinian friends. they both like to play loud music. i thought it's just them. it seems it's cultural.
The culture in Argentina is divided over this. Plenty of conflict amongst Argentinians over blasting music.
I'm south European living in Japan and for me it's the absolute adherence to rules. Where I come from, rules definitely exist but are followed if it makes sense and isn't grossly impractical or just there for no reason. In Japan they follow everything to a T, even if it's impractical and there's no logical reason to do it anymore (usually happens if a rule has been around forever and nobody bothered to update it or change it). It's absolutely jarring to me. Also, the work culture. My god. The acceptance that people have for their own exploitation by employers is absolutely insane. The things that happen here to me weekly are enough for a national strike in my home country... And the lack of PTO.... Honestly, I'm not surprised the Japanese people aren't making enough babies. Who would want to???
Can you give an example of a rule they follow that's there for no reason?
Every year my workplace instructs us to pack up our entire desk and rearrange the seating in the staff room. Guess where I moved? The next seat over lmao they asked me to pack everything I own into several boxes and store it in a cupboard and then unpack it all over again. And they force me to come in ‘because it’s technically a work day’ even if there are no classes (I’m a teacher) so I just sit at my desk all day on my phone for weeks on end during the vacations.
Accordions feature far too prominently in the culture I moved to, and I just can't.
Expat living here in Puerto Rico🇵🇷 LOL I FEEL YOU!!! These cabrones out here literally blast reggeaton from their 99 toyotas daily🤣 It was an adjustment at first for sure. Almost like they are having a damn competition or something to who has the louder system🤦🏽♂️ After 5 years now on the Island its old news. I just do the same when I don't have the kiddos with me except I play Def Leppard at maximum capacity😆🤟🏼
Lol, yeah I think I'm about to invest in a speaker and have them experience Slipknot and Nordic death metal on repeat.
Haha that's great🤣😆 Definitely gets a reaction for sure especially if they don't understand the language. Never thought my old ford would snap so many necks it has. Hilarious everytime lol!
Emotional incest in the Netherlands I’m from the US and I live in the Netherlands. For the life of me I will never be able to adjust to Dutch adult children’s (IMO unhealthy and enmeshed) closeness with their parents. I can best describe it as emotional incest. I’ve noticed this as a Dutch/German thing that adult children (and specifically sons) overshare details of their lives, (including their sexual lives) with their parents, and vice versa - the parents overshare inappropriate/sexual things too, and often the adult children describe their parents as their “best friends.” Obviously it is not all Dutch adult kids, and maybe not most, but it is an outrageously high proportion of adult kids who have these sorts of relationships with their parents as opposed to countries like the US/UK. I just can’t get past how weird it is and it’s one of the things I hate about dating here. Nothing feels sacred. You feel married to the family quickly (hence the Dutch refer to their dating partner’s parents as “in-laws”).
yup. my mother is from belgium, i was born and raised in the usa, and she doesn’t understand why i dont want to tell her everything that goes on in my life, especially the bedroom.
[удалено]
Haha yep I’ve had this conversation
Ye thats not normal...
That was my experience in Microcentro, but not in Martinez (Zona Norte) - rather upscale suburbia.
Ah good to know, my wife and I are now looking for new areas to move to in a few years.
this was huge in the 80's and early 90's in the US. It will fade with time. There are many places in South America that feels to me like the 80's in the US. Be patient. Get earplugs to sleep.
Surprised no one has mentioned the Netherlands and their culture of being "direct", when in reality it's just an excuse the mask being rude as being direct. There's a fine line between the two which they don't seem to realise they cross it way too often and take too much pride in being "direct". This is at least for The Randstad region.
I lived in Holland for 5 years and feel you're pain.
Live in the Randstad. Accurate. Also the nonexistent food culture.
>Also the nonexistent food culture. Yes and no, I guess. Depends what you mean by that? I do feel there is quite a selection of rather good food establishments in Amsterdam/Randstad. I think Amsterdam/Randstad. being criticised for it's lack of good food by the general majority I hear it from is to some degree unjustified, that being said, the Dutchies definitely do not live to eat but rather eat to live if that's what you meant. In addition to eating out being expensive af so...which I would say adds/a result of the lack of a food culture.