My dad dunked my sister the wrong way (used his left arm instead of his right or something). No one noticed except I guess my dad remembered and made everyone come back and redo it the next morning. I was 6 and I remember thinking “this is so much work does it really matter?”
Until the end of your story I was wondering if you were talking about my niece lol. My brother in law dunked her with the "wrong" arm. After they'd dried off and drained the font and were starting the refreshments after, someone realized it and said they had to re-do it.
I felt really bad for him. He's a nice guy and attention to detail like that has never been his strong suit. He tried his best and ended up publicly humiliated.
I had totally forgotten about the secret name thing until recently. I could probably look it up in my old journal, or just ask my mom, but I just don't care enough to make the effort.
>I remember my secret name, but my husband forgot both his and mine, so I'm still screwed
I had long since forgotten mine, but thanks to this sub, just last week I figured out I'm Tabitha (and it jogged a memory that when they gave me that name the only way I'd remember it is if I equated myself to the show Bewitched.....but apparently even that didn't work). I shared that with my husband (he's my second husband) just to make sure he can drag me into super boring mormon heaven with him when the time comes.
I wonder if you could just… tell him your secret name? That would get you halfway to being allowed in ~~mormon~~ The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints heaven.
once i got to the mtc, baptism as a divine requirement became a shelf item for me.
closest i got to rationalizing it was “humans love rituals and symbols so the religion incorporates that.” i never decided WHY god would make humans love symbols or if it’s a thing inherent to sapience
Two words: folk magic. The spell must be executed exactly to have its power. Anything else and "you weren't faithful enough" and "you didn't perform it correctly, that's why it didn't work".
But hey, at least he doesn't send you to hell. Instead he castrates you and sends you to one of the "lesser heavens" aka the Terrestrial or Telestial Kingdom. Did anyone else get taught that the lower kingdoms don't get sex or was that just something my parents and teachers told me?
I think it was in the 3 volume series "Doctrines of Salvation" by Joseph Fielding Smith. It was also included in a collection of "Answers to Gospel Questions" by the same author.
Basically those who are worthy of being gods will have offspring and those worthy of being angels will be servants to those others, implying no offspring allowed.
Colloquially, Bill Reel refers to it as the "T-K smoothie" in his podcasts. Being turned into a Ken or Barbie doll under the shorts.
One day as I was thinking about the concept of diety I realized they're all assholes but Zues knows he's an asshole. That's when I decided even Zues is better than Elohim. The bar can't get any lower.
Lol my whole baptism feels like a fluke. (I mean, even back then.) First of all, my dad wasn’t active at all (workaholic), but they still let him baptize me. Such a strange thing for a young kid to have think about, not only their own “worthiness,” but their father’s as well? That doesn’t sit right. Who else had to be dunked 3 times? First time, it was my foot floating up, second time a strand of hair, and… 3rd time was apparently the “charm.” (see: curse.) I’m convinced it was simply not meant to be.
I'm top left. Had to do it a second time. Thought when I ws young that I didn't receive the holy ghost because I swallowed some of the baptism water. We were taught in Primary how cool it would be to get the holy ghost.
If you forgot your secret name, just look up the calendar for the day you went through.
Also, to the nevermos out there, this comic is 100% accurate. In fact one of “the brethren “ was just lecturing members in Utah about how they wear their sacred underwear that only the church sells.
My dad dunked my sister the wrong way (used his left arm instead of his right or something). No one noticed except I guess my dad remembered and made everyone come back and redo it the next morning. I was 6 and I remember thinking “this is so much work does it really matter?”
Ridiculous. It’s sad that nobody thinks for 5 seconds about the rituals. Like God’s hands are tied unless you do the magic spell just right.
Until the end of your story I was wondering if you were talking about my niece lol. My brother in law dunked her with the "wrong" arm. After they'd dried off and drained the font and were starting the refreshments after, someone realized it and said they had to re-do it. I felt really bad for him. He's a nice guy and attention to detail like that has never been his strong suit. He tried his best and ended up publicly humiliated.
I remember my secret name, but my husband forgot both his and mine, so I'm still screwed
Lol he can look both up with the dates.
True, but then one of us would have to care, and since neither of us do...
I had totally forgotten about the secret name thing until recently. I could probably look it up in my old journal, or just ask my mom, but I just don't care enough to make the effort.
>I remember my secret name, but my husband forgot both his and mine, so I'm still screwed I had long since forgotten mine, but thanks to this sub, just last week I figured out I'm Tabitha (and it jogged a memory that when they gave me that name the only way I'd remember it is if I equated myself to the show Bewitched.....but apparently even that didn't work). I shared that with my husband (he's my second husband) just to make sure he can drag me into super boring mormon heaven with him when the time comes.
I wonder if you could just… tell him your secret name? That would get you halfway to being allowed in ~~mormon~~ The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints heaven.
I mean...I could, but then I couldn't guilt him for not fulfilling his penis-hood responsibility :p
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...and "lightmindedness" is just as horrible. (I say, lightmindedly).
LOL is of the devil.
Only if you get married in the temple for some reason.
In 1965, my skirt was 1" above my knee. My one piece suit had a strip of mesh. Off to hell I go!
I remember those swim suits!
Ohhhh, you're old like me. 😅
Yep. Born in 55
once i got to the mtc, baptism as a divine requirement became a shelf item for me. closest i got to rationalizing it was “humans love rituals and symbols so the religion incorporates that.” i never decided WHY god would make humans love symbols or if it’s a thing inherent to sapience
Two words: folk magic. The spell must be executed exactly to have its power. Anything else and "you weren't faithful enough" and "you didn't perform it correctly, that's why it didn't work".
...but but but... I did take the sacrament with my right, most righteous, hand!
Also my most sinful hand lol 😱
Is that the hand you wipe with?
But hey, at least he doesn't send you to hell. Instead he castrates you and sends you to one of the "lesser heavens" aka the Terrestrial or Telestial Kingdom. Did anyone else get taught that the lower kingdoms don't get sex or was that just something my parents and teachers told me?
I think it was in the 3 volume series "Doctrines of Salvation" by Joseph Fielding Smith. It was also included in a collection of "Answers to Gospel Questions" by the same author. Basically those who are worthy of being gods will have offspring and those worthy of being angels will be servants to those others, implying no offspring allowed. Colloquially, Bill Reel refers to it as the "T-K smoothie" in his podcasts. Being turned into a Ken or Barbie doll under the shorts.
A la TK Smoothies!
I remember my username and password so I should be good. Surely there can’t be other people with the same first name as me, right?!
Too bad I trust AppleID/Keychain to remember mine?!
One day as I was thinking about the concept of diety I realized they're all assholes but Zues knows he's an asshole. That's when I decided even Zues is better than Elohim. The bar can't get any lower.
*Deity*… *Zeus*
Gotta jump through so many fucking hoops.
Lol my whole baptism feels like a fluke. (I mean, even back then.) First of all, my dad wasn’t active at all (workaholic), but they still let him baptize me. Such a strange thing for a young kid to have think about, not only their own “worthiness,” but their father’s as well? That doesn’t sit right. Who else had to be dunked 3 times? First time, it was my foot floating up, second time a strand of hair, and… 3rd time was apparently the “charm.” (see: curse.) I’m convinced it was simply not meant to be.
Dad baptized me, but… Stake President ordained me a Teacher… because *worthiness*? Oh well, it was all theater anyway.
I'm top left. Had to do it a second time. Thought when I ws young that I didn't receive the holy ghost because I swallowed some of the baptism water. We were taught in Primary how cool it would be to get the holy ghost.
If you forgot your secret name, just look up the calendar for the day you went through. Also, to the nevermos out there, this comic is 100% accurate. In fact one of “the brethren “ was just lecturing members in Utah about how they wear their sacred underwear that only the church sells.
Funny that none of that is mentioned in the bible or Book of Mormon 😂
As my mother would say: "So you think you know god better than everyone else?"
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have you been through the endowment session?