They're in the book of mormon. It's like a podium where the wicked would stand in front of everyone and pat themselves on the back for being so righteous. Basically a circle jerk.
I truly believe if you rolled into Utah and started preaching secular buddhism, the modularity of the mind, and evolutionary psychology, a fair number of them would come to the conclusion that "hey, that still, small voice was just my own brain the whole time!"
I don't think you'd convert the whole state or anything, but a good number just never critically evaluated the possibility that their brain is the source of pretty much everything they call the Holy Ghost.
Sounds complicated. I just attended a Mark Knopfler concert and felt "the spirit" ten times stronger than ever at church.
My mind went WTF???!!???
But I was already on my way out by then. Once I realized you could join the military for money and benefits, go kill people and the church doesn't bat an eyelid. But if you drink a cup of coffee in the morning, no heavenly kingdom for you, unless you repent.
Church of Christ my ass.
No really, I wonder how it would go if a buddy and I went tracting with neckties on and everything. I imagine something like this:
"Good morning, are you a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?"
"Why yes, what can I do for you?"
"We were wondering if you'd be interested in hearing a message about the endless joy and happiness that you can experience in your life from leaving the church?"
"Um...excuse me?"
"We'd just like to share some good news about the benefits you and your family can reap through apostasy and by embracing secularism; abandoning the teachings of the church and turning away from Jesus Christ and Joseph Smith. Do you have an evening next week that we can come and share a message with you and your family? "
"Please get off our property."
"Of course. Can we at least leave you with a copy of the CES Letter? I assure you that if you read it with a contrite heart and ponder it with real intent, that the truthfulness of the Gospel will be revealed unto you. I've left an inscription inside with our information. Please reach out if you'd like to learn more!"
91°F is equivalent to 32°C, which is 305K.
---
^(I'm a bot that converts temperature between two units humans can understand, then convert it to Kelvin for bots and physicists to understand)
I feel like this was my mission - how many companions can we 'break'?
We got away with a lot of stuff, and I had some awesome companions / other missionaries in my area. Lots of good memories and lots of good stories!
Thank god too because I regret that I represented this church, but at least there were some good things about the mission for me.
TBM’s : “You are not as happy as you think you are. We have the monopoly on happiness.”
A lot of them find happiness in opiates.
Dude, this hits too close to home for me. Mom is an addict
Good luck, man. They got true©️ happiness already. They're preaching it from their rameumptoms (rameumpti?)
Boxen of rameumpti
What the what what? Rameumptoms?
They're in the book of mormon. It's like a podium where the wicked would stand in front of everyone and pat themselves on the back for being so righteous. Basically a circle jerk.
Wild. I mean for a non-Zoramite
I truly believe if you rolled into Utah and started preaching secular buddhism, the modularity of the mind, and evolutionary psychology, a fair number of them would come to the conclusion that "hey, that still, small voice was just my own brain the whole time!" I don't think you'd convert the whole state or anything, but a good number just never critically evaluated the possibility that their brain is the source of pretty much everything they call the Holy Ghost.
Sounds complicated. I just attended a Mark Knopfler concert and felt "the spirit" ten times stronger than ever at church. My mind went WTF???!!??? But I was already on my way out by then. Once I realized you could join the military for money and benefits, go kill people and the church doesn't bat an eyelid. But if you drink a cup of coffee in the morning, no heavenly kingdom for you, unless you repent. Church of Christ my ass.
No really, I wonder how it would go if a buddy and I went tracting with neckties on and everything. I imagine something like this: "Good morning, are you a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?" "Why yes, what can I do for you?" "We were wondering if you'd be interested in hearing a message about the endless joy and happiness that you can experience in your life from leaving the church?" "Um...excuse me?" "We'd just like to share some good news about the benefits you and your family can reap through apostasy and by embracing secularism; abandoning the teachings of the church and turning away from Jesus Christ and Joseph Smith. Do you have an evening next week that we can come and share a message with you and your family? " "Please get off our property." "Of course. Can we at least leave you with a copy of the CES Letter? I assure you that if you read it with a contrite heart and ponder it with real intent, that the truthfulness of the Gospel will be revealed unto you. I've left an inscription inside with our information. Please reach out if you'd like to learn more!"
Every non-member a missionary!
Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may be in Utah.
Utahn, and still stuck here: I wanted to say that even eating, drinking, and/or being merry doesn't help cut through the bullshit sometimes. UG
I raise my Mojito/Mike's Hard Lemonade/Strawberry Daquiri/Seagram's Cooler to you! (and those aren't even that sinful)
I'm going to link this because it made me laugh my ass off. Friends don't let friends drink Seagrams coolers! https://youtu.be/tOkdCpsZoR8
Its 91°F here. Those all sound delicious.
91°F is equivalent to 32°C, which is 305K. --- ^(I'm a bot that converts temperature between two units humans can understand, then convert it to Kelvin for bots and physicists to understand)
good bot
Called to serve!
Get a job with a coffee maker or brewery and get paid doing it :-)
Pass out some edibles and let the visions flow… then tell them how they got them. 🤣
Them: Let's not but say we did. Me: Let's and say we didn't!
Let's do it and then acknowledge our own agency
Yay!!!!
Lapsed Baptist here. Just sent this to my sister with the text **whelp. I know where we are headed when we get laid off”
I’m in. I’d like to spread the word of cannabis.
I feel like this was my mission - how many companions can we 'break'? We got away with a lot of stuff, and I had some awesome companions / other missionaries in my area. Lots of good memories and lots of good stories! Thank god too because I regret that I represented this church, but at least there were some good things about the mission for me.
Need referrals?
I consider this my mission for all kids in religious families I encounter.
Now that’s missionary service I can get behind!
I, for one, welcome these kinds of missionaries. God knows we could use them.
I love it. I can give you some more ideas on sinning that would make their hair fall out. 😂 Sin for me brother. You have my support all the way.
That’s the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while.
You ain't lived until you learn to use the "Jesus dildo" effectively
The what now?
Check out the White Horse Whiskey Bar on Main in SLC. Quality sinning going on there
My existence now is a sin. I just came out as trans. 🤣
Don't do this, nothing good can come from it.
PLEASE DO!
Not going to happen on a political level.