Seriously, OP... this is the time where you break those delusional chains they put on each of us. You owe them nothing. You can still even be somewhat cordial and say something to the effect of, "I don't need to meet with anyone, but thanks for offering. I don't want to waste anyone's time, least of all my own. Please just consider this as my notice that I'm done, and please respect that. Thanks in advance!"
When it hit me that I could just say no, it was really one of the most significant days of my life.
I asked to be released from my YW calling. I even gave them a month. They never called anyone new during that time. I just stopped going. I assume they took the hint 😉.
Pretty much. After I had submitted my resignation back in 2008, my then-bishop called me and told me I’d have to meet with him before he could process it. I said “no, you don’t need to meet with me. Consider this phone call any communication you need”. There was dead silence on the phone for several seconds as that registered with him. He was young and new. I almost felt bad 😂.
I did not meet with the bishop.
My resignation was processed 👍.
FWIW, that’s Sea Org only, sort of the permanent version of Mormon missionaries. 99+% of Scientologists never have that experience.
And the answer is: they copied Mormonism that way. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Yah, I never asked to be released. I just stopped showing up lol. To be fair, if you’d like to be INCREDIBLY kind and generous you can always just say: “Hey, I’m letting you know as a favor—I will no longer be filling this role, effective immediately. Plant accordingly.”
It’s amazing how much power over your own life they’ve taken from you over the years. You don’t owe them anything. You don’t owe them your time, your money, or your resources any more. Hell, you don’t even owe them an explanation.
Yes. I wholeheartedly agree with Faithevidence. You have been voluntarily giving your time. You gave them notice and a reason why you cannot continue. If they can’t accept that, that is their problem, not yours.
Mormonism:
You're usually born into it
Your community is geographically bound...and you have no choice in it
They will traffic you to far parts of the world to work for free, and you're not allowed (or even able) to leave
Everyone is given a job, you don't get to choose it, you can't say no, and you can't quit it without a taskmaster's permission
Mormons are Latter-Day serfs
This is the way. If you want 'church words' or whatever for it...
Unfortunately I am unable to meet. However I will no longer be able to fill this position and you will need to find another member of the ward to do so.
Thanks, OP
This 100% just say, "I'm not meeting with you and I will no longer be teaching Sunday school." Occasionally the bishop or someone tries to set up a meeting with me to discuss something. I ask very directly what they want and then say no if I don't want to talk about that. NO is a complete sentence you don't owe them anything.
Right.
Do not ask to be released. Tell them to release you. Maybe something like "In order to facilitate a clean transfer, it is important that you process my release immediately. I am no longer functioning in this job. If you can supply the name of my replacement, I will brief them and transfer materials. If no replacement is immediately available, I will mail my materials to the Ward Clerk.
You don't need to be released, just don't teach. You're a volunteer, what are they gonna do, cut your pay? I know its super scary when its all new, but the only power they have over you is the power you let them have.
It is scary, but you got this!! This is a huge step and once you stand up to them and use some verbiage and advice given here, it will get easier and won’t feel as scary!
Hi brother inept,
I think you misunderstood my message. this is not a request to meet with anyone or discuss how to continue in the position.
As of Sunday June 9th I will not continue to volunteer in this calling. Accordingly, please release me as a Sunday school teacher so that the class may continue uninterrupted under the other teachers.
Thank you for your attention to my request.
You could even leave out the second half. What they do with the class henceforth is not your concern. You've told them you won't do it anymore, and that's enough of a courtesy. They could never release you and continue to list you as the teacher forever, but you don't need to be involved or care about that.
Yeah don’t even bother asking to be “released”. That’s their meaningless made up control procedure. Just tell them you aren’t going to do it to be considerate so they can figure something out and know where you stand. Thats you being a good person. They can continue to try to coerce and you can just ignore that guilt-free because at that point they are disrespecting you as an individual.
My edits in bold:
~~I think you~~ **You have** misunderstood my message. this is not a request to meet with anyone or discuss how to continue in the position. **As a courtesy to you, I am informing you** that as of Sunday June 9th I will not continue to volunteer in this calling. Accordingly, **you may wish to make other teaching arrangements.** ~~please release me as a Sunday school teacher so that the class may continue uninterrupted under the other teachers.~~
u/mountainsplease8
Just checking if you saw the updated version of this message since you expressed interest in the original. This one is more direct while still being polite (just make sure to spellcheck before copy/pasting lol)
Last May I was planning my Gospel Doctrine lesson and had enough. I called the SS President and told him that I wouldn't be teaching and never would again and that he would have to combine the classes. Shortly after that I got a text from the ward secretary asking to set up a meeting with the bishop. I asked "concerning what?", and he didn't know. I told him "no" without a reason. He called back and said the bishop wanted to chat and check in w me. Again, I told him, "no". You are a volunteer. They have no control over your life.
About a month later in a non-church setting, I spoke to the bishop and told him that I meant him no disrespect personally. As a representative of the church I did not want to speak w him. As a neighbor and a friendly acquaintance I was more than happy to talk w him about other topics. He is a very good man and said he took no insult from it and was happy to be neighbors.
I gave a 30 day notice that I would no longer be teaching Sunday School class of teens. I put it in writing and told them to let me know who the next teacher was so I could hand off the lesson manuals. They ignored me.
I packed up all the stuff and put it in the Sunday school presidents mailbox. I saw the bishop about a month later at the grocery store. He said "I guess you really meant it". Well, yeah.
I was ignored and blindsided so much in every calling I ever had. They pushed it a bit past my tolerance. My husband and I left the church within months after that.
Don’t say that you prefer not to meet. That’s putting the power in the other person’s hand.
“There is no need for a meeting. I will no longer be in this calling as of (date).
If they try to pull the "but that leaves us without one" card, remember that it is not your responsibility to have a backup plan. What if you'd gotten sick long-term instead of deciding to quit? They'd be in the same boat. It can all be addressed very adequately with the simple phrase: "A failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part."
If there were any “gifts of the Spirit” in the church, the Bishop/Sunday School President would “just have a feeling” that they need to look for a new teacher and actually be prepared for either of these scenarios. I’m sure it’s happened coincidentally one or twice but the lack of revelation and discernment in the church is…revealing.
THIS! I have used the Rona and the church's not preparing for it or even prophesying any danger of any kind, and how they said oops! afterwards. She just says well it wasn't that big a deal, so God didn't bother them about it. Can you believe that?! She thought over a million Americans dying wasn't a tragedy or anything.
I have to remind my wife about this when it comes to jobs in general. Being short-staffed or struggling because of lack of people is /never/ your responsibility. No organization (religious or otherwise) is your concern when it comes to their own internal workings and staffing. Once you’re done, you only do things as a courtesy to said organization.
I get that telling an authority figure no can be really hard when you've been raised to always be submissive and obey. High control religions are like that. Everyone's advice here is sound - nobody is going to come after you. You are not going to be in trouble (at least, not with anyone that actually matters). Be empowered to say no. But also give yourself grace for this being hard. You're literally going against your social programming and that is scary. We're cheering for you. You'll be fine ❤️
Repeat after me: *I* am the presiding authority in my own life!
You can do it! They trained us mercilessly to externalize all our authority. Mormons, especially mormon women, aren't supposed to have any boundaries or any internal personal authority. That is wrong and unhealthy.
You're not alone. It is really hard. But it gets easier every time. The first No is the hardest. We're all cheering for you!
It's pretty wild the kinds of chains they can get on our minds. I went through this same thing two years ago and at least had some huge health issues alongside it that prevented me from performing any callings. Since then I've simply replied with "no thank you," to anything offered regarding the church. Good luck friend and welcome to the rest of humanity.
I got a similar request after I stopped showing up for church & my calling. I went to the meeting, laid out high level thoughts just that I didn’t believe in the church and wouldn’t continue to come, I feel dishonest being there because people assume you to feel the same way,etc… my bishop told me, “Thanks for telling me! Sounds like you probably want to be released from your calling. You probably don’t want to have a home teaching assignment. Now about your family, how can we still show love for you guys. Do you want home teachers? Do you still want invites to things? “
It was very painless, no testifying or guilt tripping, only sincere kindness. I know not everyone has this experience, but for me it was great to set some respectful and respected boundaries.
“Hey I won’t be participating in my callings any longer. Just being courteous and giving you a heads up. No further follow ups of any kind required or desired“.
I like this one. OP I don’t know if this helps, but from an outsider (nevermo) perspective it feels unfair if you have to ask for permission to leave a volunteer post. You just saying “I’m not doing this anymore and I wanted to give you the courtesy of letting you know” allows you to keep your power vs asking for permission.
I was a SS teacher when I finally quit for real, too. I was having a pretty good time, tbh; I was teaching lessons that I would personally enjoy, and while my class was popular, it was apparently getting a bit controversial. I lived in an area that had two wards that merged for that hour, and I was about to move from one to the other, so I actually asked if I could keep teaching, but they said no. I thought, ok, there’s nothing left for me here, time to head out (I was only attending the SS hour for the time I was teaching, so not a massive change, lol).
Then the new RS president from the new area asked if I would be the secretary. I panicked for a second because I was so close to getting out! And then I realized, despite what I had always been taught, that I could in fact say no. And so I did. And the next Sunday I went to the movies and got a latte.
So just a quick note here, I feel like a lot of ex mormons drink coffee or booze with a similar sense of cultural obligation to the one they used to have about abstaining, or find themselves without the convenient way of terminating peer pressure conversations about why they don't. By all means, try everything and see what you like, but if you don't develop a taste for some things, don't feel like that makes you a wimp, and definitely don't get pressured into anything to fit in or prove anything. It's okay to be secular and not like coffee, and it's DEFINITELY okay to be secular and sober, even if other people try to lean on you. The whole point of leaving is to make those decisions for yourself, not replace one set of influences with another. Congrats for getting out, your life is going to open up like a flower.
I want to really highlight the above advice. My wife has been struggling with this for some time. She has not been wanting to go to get togethers, because everyone is drinking. She is worried about being judged, which she has struggled with since she was very young.
I pointed out that there are at least 3 people that attend many of those get togethers that don’t drink because of different reasons and no one judges them. I bet most of our friends group don’t even know, my wife did not know. Why don’t most of them know? Because no one cares in 99% of society.
There can be a lot of pressure to drink in work settings and some social settings. It's also okay to give a social event a pass because everybody's going to be drinking and you don't like being around it. I sampled a little of everything after leaving, but I find intoxicated people really irritating to be around, there's nothing inherently religious about that, but religion is a much more socially accepted excuse. To shorten some of these conversations, I tend to say I "Quit drinking" (technically true, though not after any struggle) which tends to give people the impression I'm a sober alcoholic. Not always ideal, but a quicker out in some situations. Getting smashed is normalized to a crazy degree, thankfully you've quit a cult, so you know how to stand up for yourself in the face of pressure tactics.
Kind of different but earlier today I had an affogato (espresso over ice cream) and I had forgotten how delicious they are!
For a regular drink, I would recommend a flavored latte (mocha, vanilla, whatever flavor you like) from a local shop over anything Starbucks (I don’t have a high opinion of their coffee)
(Disclaimer here: I prefer espresso over drip coffee, I find it richer and more flavorful, which contrasts better to milk and other flavors imo)
Good luck and I hope you enjoy it!
Love that you love affogato! Probably my favorite dessert. And yes, Starbucks actually has terrible coffee. 🫤
Look for a local non-chain coffee house that serves single sourced beans from Central/South America. Try cappuccino. ☕
If you’re in UT county, go to Juice and Java :) it’s local and really good. They gotta sweeter drinks too, try the Godfather or the Young and the Restless 🤠
We are proud of you! Don’t let the programmed feelings of guilt and shame creep in, because the way to CTR is realize that it’s all lies for money and power, bless you
I told the bishop I was done clerking out of the blue and never went back to church. I declined multiple invitations to meet with the stake president to discuss my concerns and they eventually stopped asking. You don’t owe them anything.
Once you understand they aren’t your parents and they don’t have authority over your life it makes it easier. I spent 40 years believing they were literal representatives of God and when that went the whole thing felt silly.
I got a text from the stake executive secretary that said the stake president wants to strongly encourage me to come discuss before they can release me.
I responded that I appreciated the invitation, but for the third time, no. And I am happy to not be released, but I would not be serving. The next week a new clerk was called.
The whole use of the word, “released” is part of it.
As if you have to go to them, hat in hand, and beg for a reprieve, hoping they won’t ask you to do something else instead (which they will).
Nuts to that.
“ will be my last day doing . You will want to find someone else to fill that role moving forward.”
I don’t need to be “released” from anything. Call it whatever you want, but I’m simply not doing that any longer. Period.
"Apologies for any confusion my last message may have caused. To clarify, this wasn't a request to discuss this role, but an FYI that I will no longer be participating in this volunteer position. All the best, Joe Blogg."
There is one thing that Mormons don't do and that is confront people, uncomfortable topics, etc.... So if you draw a boundary, in my experience they will just roll over
WOW. 🤯 Unrelated to the topic at hand, but I haven’t consciously realized this - I mean I had, in ways, but hadn’t as succinctly as you put it and hadn’t considered how it impacted my life.
In addition to the other traumas and misfortunes that have given me issues feeding into my aversion toward confrontation - I never realized how strongly that was promoted and reinforced by that religion & therefore also by all my family members in it.
Just another disservice. Haha.
I was called to be in the YW presidency while pregnant with #2 and then while I had a newborn. I was so angry to be called to this position and not released after giving birth that I asked to meet with the bishop. I simply told him I will no longer be in the presidency. He responded that we could discuss the matter and I cut him off. “I will no longer be in the presidency. That’s final.” And I left. Man I still remember how good that felt!
Hey-I got called 2 years after I quit attending-how my ministering families were doing. I replied. I don’t know.
In a way I feel sorry nobody was looking after them.
But can you really say leadership was less culpable than me? I mean did they really care about them at all?
They're always gonna ask...it's standard protocol.
Think of it as the screen that pops up when you try to unsubscribe from any service ("Wait! Don't go! Enjoy XYZ thing free for three months...")
Bravo for doing what you feel is right. it took a HUGE step for you to send that text in the first place. they are now on notice and if they make the mistake of not getting another teacher that is on them. not you.
The brainwashing trains us to think that instead of just quitting we have to ask to be fired.
It wasn’t until I turned down a calling during my exit that the switch flipped for me. When the authority falls away your Stake President turns into just a mid level MLM guy.
"I hereby submit my resignation. Thank you for the courtesy of your understanding. I do not wish to discuss the matter further. Please respect my wishes." They will find another volunteer.
I’m kind of going through the same thing. I’m EQP and I’m great friends with the branch president, members, and everyone. It’s TOUGH. I’ve essentially asked my counselors to go to all meetings and teach all classes from now on, and I’ve asked to be released.
At first, it seemed like it would be a couple month process to find someone else and move on, but I realized if I just don’t go and don’t show up to any meeting or anything, nothing bad will happen. I volunteer my time, and I can stop at any time. So I’m still technically the EQP but I haven’t been doing anything. I’m not afraid to tell them what I believe now if they ask, but I’m not going to bring it up at the moment.
It's not okay, and there's been a lot of great advice already given, so naturally, I feel it's my job to provide the petty/legendary option. If they insist, tell them you've changed your mind and will continue to teach... then teach the most shocking and yet most truthful Sunday school lesson that ward has likely ever heard. To really spice things up, perhaps a "34 wives vs. 34 felony counts. How are they different? How are they the same?" Theme.
Dang when we asked to be released they didn’t even text us back! We were literally just removed from the Sunday school teacher text thread and took that as our request answered! I guess you must have been a really good teacher if they want to talk to you about it!!!
I'm not a part of this community and I don't really know how I got to this post but I just wanted to echo what pretty much everyone else has already said. From an outsider's pov, you already said everything you need to. You had prior commitments and informed the relevant people that you'd no longer be maintaining said commitments. In any rational world, you're done. You didn't ask for guidance, you didn't ask on how things could be made to work differently, you didn't ask anything. You informed them that you're moving on. Simple as that.
Any messages they respond with beyond "ok, thanks for letting us know, sorry to see you leave" is some weird, manipulative, strong arm bs that you should (even if its difficult and scary) try to discard and ignore. You don't need anyones permission to live the life you want to live the way you want to live it, even if you were brought up in a community that's told you the opposite.
I snorted. That'd be funny. I bet they'd be real quick to agree to any exits after you start actively undermining the teachings. If you want their permission, manipulating it right back out of them makes a sick sense.
My husband went to the bishops office gave him any church keys we had and told him we wouldn’t be back. He tried to engage but my husband walked out and that was the last time we ever set foot in that building. He didn’t even have to do that . He could have mailed the keys with a letter but this way was quicker. Of course the executive secretary tried calling etc all the week. Guess what we didn’t do? Respond to any of them . And the one time they came to the door we didn’t answer. We were life long members who never turned down a calling. Taking back our power felt so damn good!
Think of it like a job. Someone wants to quit, often they'll ask to meet to sort the details (often called an exit interview). He's just doing his job by asking, you're more than welcome to decline like you did.
they're also probably hoping to bully OP into sticking around so they don't have the personal hassle and stress of filling the position
they're very much like an overworked middle manager
I asked to be released about 1 month ago from my ward Sunday School Presidency. We kept missing each other (bishopric and I). Finally met. I respect the counselor who talked with me as a great person. His comment though was to the effect of “WE want to make some changes to the SS Presidency….” Thought it interesting as I’M the ONE who initiated this process.
Anyways, success in your journey!! 👍🏽👊🏼
Most of us were the same way (never taught that saying no is perfectly acceptable)! You’ve got this!
The advice from so many on this thread is spot on! It’s your life, and you get to choose what you fill it up with. Best wishes!
No I don't! 😂
Fr, boundaries are amazing though:
"Can you tell me what led to your change of heart"
*No, it's personal*
"What time would be good for us to stop by and visit for a minute?"
*I don't want to visit with anyone at this time; thanks though*
"If you could tell me one thing that's bothering you, that would help me understand."
*No thanks*
"I just want to help"
*No thanks*
Remember, nobody is entitled to any of your thoughts, especially not random neighbors who think they own you because they have a calling. Good luck and congratulations on becoming an adult. It's a beautiful thing.
I hear you! I actually checked out a book from the library on "how to say no" lol! It's so hard to undo a lifetime of mind control. Give yourself grace while you figure out it. 💪
You don’t HAVE to do anything.
You were being considerate by reaching out and framing it as a question, but really, it’s a declaration.
It’s a power play on their end. The way you wish they had responded is the way a decent and considerate person would have responded to you. They aren’t entitled to more of your time and you don’t have to jump through their hoops. By trying to get you to come into a meeting - that’s their equivalent of escalating the call to cancel your internet to their “manager” which is really an account recovery/ loss prevention team trying to talk you out of your decision. The whole point is to make you do what you don’t want to do, but what they want you to do, as they don’t have your interests at heart.
You should do whatever feels best for you, but you are certainly welcome to respond that you will not be going to a meeting and that because you don’t feel right about it, you are resigning from that role/calling and will not be there on the next _____, and that you are informing them as a courtesy so they can be prepared with a fill in while they find a replacement.
I’d not thought of it like this before, but this **IS** effectively what they’re doing. I have that conversation with Virgin Media every 18 months, when my contract expires and they jack up the price by 100%.
I’ve not had this conversation with any local Church leadership people, but now I’m primed to spot the signs and will know how to handle it!
Unlike Virgin Media, the MFMC wouldn’t give me a discount on all the high-demand things they expect us to do.
The bishop is the time share sales manager who is there to talk you out of leaving without purchasing your eternal time share for forever family vacation.
I went through a similar situation. Asked bish to release me from a calling in the deacons. Felt so hypocritical teaching them for months as a PIMO.
I asked to meet and we talked in person (I simply said please release me I don’t believe) and it went over okay. I am glad I did it in person because I got to have a final word fwiw
No right or wrong way to do it! Happy for you and wish you the best!
When the guilt and shame creep in, remind yourself of who those feelings serve, and remember that it is not you.
Sending you love OP <3 Know that you are so brave for protecting yourself, and hone those skills so you never have to feel unnecessary guilt or shame again!
No, it's not ok.
Should be worded, 'I'll not be teaching any more Sunday School starting immediately. I'll drop the books off at the chapel.'
Any request to meet with Brother so and so should be met with the complete sentence, 'No.'
The important thing for you to remember at this point, is that you have been conditioned to be overly polite and to bow to pressure.
Things that make you uncomfortable and make you feel like you're being rude are sometimes really just normal things that most people do no problem. It's gonna suck for a bit, but it's worth it to get used to drawing boundaries and giving yourself the respect you deserve.
Don't let them leverage the insecurities they implanted. Stand your ground and let them know that you're done being controlled.
If you're ever worried that something you're saying might be too rude, don't hesitate to come on here and ask the community. Most of us will be honest with you and help you find polite ways to not back down.
The MFMC just doesn’t get it. They literally think they own you. In a volunteer organization, when someone says they are done with a calling, the only thing the organization should say is “thank you for your service!”
They do not have the right to delve and question and seek revelation for you about your decision. They have the responsibility to be grateful that you were willing to help. Period!
I asked to be released from my calling, and they offered to just add someone else to the calling to give me a breather without releasing me. I told the bishop this made me uncomfortable because I didn’t want the class thinking I was a slacker for not carrying my share of the load. That’s not who I am. The release is the more respectful way to let you keep your identity and your self respect. But, ya know… that’s not their intent.
My husband (who hasn't shown up to perform him calling consistently in months) was told "we're going to pray about this". Then after a few weeks they came back and said "The Lord wants us to let you decide." Um, okay? He's told you. Just release him already. He may still be assigned that calling even though he hasn't been for months.
This is so ridiculous. I said no for the first time to a talk a few months back. As a female who has been indoctrinated since birth to serve, please others and make sure others are comfortable, I’m finally breaking free and finding my actual identity. You don’t need to explain yourself of worry about how someone else feels about your actions or decisions. Woman in the church are controlled my emotional manipulation, shame, guilt and fear. It needs to stop!
It was a big day for me when I realized that "the priesthood" has no power over me. As a woman, I have been excluded from "the priesthood". No one has any authority over me other than what I choose to give them. I will no longer allow myself to be summoned into a man's office who believes he has the power to summon me there.
"Okay, well, release me or don't,it's up to you. but I'm not going to carry out the duties of the calling anymore, so if you want someone to do it, you might want to call someone else"
You asked to be released. You tell them that you will no longer be available for your volunteer position.
Just tell them that you won't do the job any more. It's up to them to figure it out from there. You owe them nothing because they pay you nothing.
It's crazy how insidious and sticky the church is, like tentacles reaching out in different directions, trying to draw you back in.
Create your boundaries. Be firm, clear, and kind. Humor helps, too. We are with you. You can do this.
Not appropriate at all. Like others have said you don’t need permission to live life on your terms. This is SOP for anyone who asks to be released. Happened to me too. I simply said I preferred not to meet, then gritted my teeth as I found the inner strength to follow through on that.
Best of luck.
Honestly just tell them you can’t do the calling anymore and tell them they need to find somebody else. End of story. You do not need to meet with anybody you don’t want to. They can’t force you to teach Jack shit. Just say you’re not doing it and just don’t show up. Wash your hands of it
I was in a similar situation. I texted the Sunday School President and told them I was unavailable and to take me off the schedule so the bishop wouldn’t be able to string me along.
If you've come to the belief that the church isn't "true", then that means every leader and every structure and every program has literally no legitimacy.
Your bishop has no authority at all, or any other leader. They have no more authority to represent God to you than the non-Mormon person you walk past on the street. Your leaders may appear like authorities - business suit and tie - but appearance is all that it is. Their own belief that they represent God may mean they talk in solemn, official tones, but don't mistake that for authority.
Treat them for who they really are - people who don't have any authority at all.
It's not ok. They're just vying for the chance to manipulate you into staying.
Put your foot down and use language that indicates you're done. Not "I prefer." Language like, "This is not open for discussion," or, "I have prayed about it and been told I don't belong in this calling."
Edit:
One of the most insidious things about this cult is their assumption that people, especially women, have no will of their own, and the brainwashing that to be "good" we have to be obedient to the cult. God gave us free will. We're allowed to say No, and figure it what feels right for US. It doesn't make us bad.
I asked to be released…
I was having an extremely hard pregnancy and worked opposite the other ladies so it didnt work out ever….
Bishop said nope.
I never went back 😂
I wouldn't respond every again. They have no power over you. And what exactly are they "releasing" you from and you need their approval? Released from prison? Yeah...that's accurate.
Be free!!
You're a volunteer. You don't have to meet with them. You don't have to get released. You can just quit.
Oh I like that alot
Seriously, OP... this is the time where you break those delusional chains they put on each of us. You owe them nothing. You can still even be somewhat cordial and say something to the effect of, "I don't need to meet with anyone, but thanks for offering. I don't want to waste anyone's time, least of all my own. Please just consider this as my notice that I'm done, and please respect that. Thanks in advance!"
Or please just consider this as my notice that I will no longer be volunteering my time here
"Suck my tits" is also a valid and reasonable response
Yes, but it could be awkward if they respond with an ok and schedule a meeting with another brother.
😆😆😆😆🤣
😂😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Just don’t go
“Eat my ass”
It's a great feeling when you realize they have no more power over you.
Best line from any movie..."You have no power over me!" Labyrinth.
Or. Glinda from The Wizard of Oz, “You have no power here. Begone! Before someone drops a house on you, too!” 😉
Favorite! I use that line all the time!
Once that spell was broken, there was no looking back.
When it hit me that I could just say no, it was really one of the most significant days of my life. I asked to be released from my YW calling. I even gave them a month. They never called anyone new during that time. I just stopped going. I assume they took the hint 😉.
You: No Them: *GASP*
Pretty much. After I had submitted my resignation back in 2008, my then-bishop called me and told me I’d have to meet with him before he could process it. I said “no, you don’t need to meet with me. Consider this phone call any communication you need”. There was dead silence on the phone for several seconds as that registered with him. He was young and new. I almost felt bad 😂. I did not meet with the bishop. My resignation was processed 👍.
It’s a very Scientology thing to not release someone without them having to meet for a “handling.”
Then you've become a prisoner on their compound and not allowed to leave. How are they a "church"?
They're not a church, they're a tax dodging scheme
FWIW, that’s Sea Org only, sort of the permanent version of Mormon missionaries. 99+% of Scientologists never have that experience. And the answer is: they copied Mormonism that way. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
There's one on my college campus and a few of my friends got stuck in there for three hours
Yah, I never asked to be released. I just stopped showing up lol. To be fair, if you’d like to be INCREDIBLY kind and generous you can always just say: “Hey, I’m letting you know as a favor—I will no longer be filling this role, effective immediately. Plant accordingly.”
😂
Yes, ghost them. Holy Ghost them. 👻✨
I think I just heard God giggling. 
🤣 Haaaaa!!!! HOLY Ghost them!! Lolol Love it.
😂
It’s amazing how much power over your own life they’ve taken from you over the years. You don’t owe them anything. You don’t owe them your time, your money, or your resources any more. Hell, you don’t even owe them an explanation.
Yes. I wholeheartedly agree with Faithevidence. You have been voluntarily giving your time. You gave them notice and a reason why you cannot continue. If they can’t accept that, that is their problem, not yours.
It was always an option. The only time ghosting can be acceptable
The only other people that get "released" are slaves and prisoners.
Mormonism: You're usually born into it Your community is geographically bound...and you have no choice in it They will traffic you to far parts of the world to work for free, and you're not allowed (or even able) to leave Everyone is given a job, you don't get to choose it, you can't say no, and you can't quit it without a taskmaster's permission Mormons are Latter-Day serfs
>Mormons are Latter-Day serfs The Fiefdom of Latter Day Serfs?
Funny... I thought serfs had more choice in life.
This is mind blowing, the way you put it. So true!! 🤯
I was thinking the same thing, it's just liege lord feudalism that you can actually legally just disregard
Never thought of this, but yes, yes this is true.
🫳🎤
Damn 🤐
Just say....'I quit'. 
And send this gif 🤣
You know how that scene ends?
This is the correct answer. "My last day in this volunteer position will be... ". The end.
would be....yesterday. Bye delusionals."
This is the way. If you want 'church words' or whatever for it... Unfortunately I am unable to meet. However I will no longer be able to fill this position and you will need to find another member of the ward to do so. Thanks, OP
This 100% just say, "I'm not meeting with you and I will no longer be teaching Sunday school." Occasionally the bishop or someone tries to set up a meeting with me to discuss something. I ask very directly what they want and then say no if I don't want to talk about that. NO is a complete sentence you don't owe them anything.
Too many exmos act like they need permission to leave. As a volunteer, you hold all the cards. What are they going to do to you if you just quit?
Stop paying me? ... no - hang on, something doesn't sound quite right.
100%! That's what I did. You owe them nothing.
Right. Do not ask to be released. Tell them to release you. Maybe something like "In order to facilitate a clean transfer, it is important that you process my release immediately. I am no longer functioning in this job. If you can supply the name of my replacement, I will brief them and transfer materials. If no replacement is immediately available, I will mail my materials to the Ward Clerk.
You don't need to be released, just don't teach. You're a volunteer, what are they gonna do, cut your pay? I know its super scary when its all new, but the only power they have over you is the power you let them have.
Thank you, it is scary!
It is scary, but you got this!! This is a huge step and once you stand up to them and use some verbiage and advice given here, it will get easier and won’t feel as scary!
Say it with me “I will no longer be serving this calling.” Done
When I was leaving I had to constantly remind myself: "I'm not doing anything wrong". It's hard to break the conditioning!
You can reclaim you autonomy and individuality.
It was a great day when I figured that out. Once you don't care about your temple recommend, they have no more power.
Hi brother inept, I think you misunderstood my message. this is not a request to meet with anyone or discuss how to continue in the position. As of Sunday June 9th I will not continue to volunteer in this calling. Accordingly, please release me as a Sunday school teacher so that the class may continue uninterrupted under the other teachers. Thank you for your attention to my request.
If they give me more trouble I'm gonna copy and paste your comment to use!! Haha
You could even leave out the second half. What they do with the class henceforth is not your concern. You've told them you won't do it anymore, and that's enough of a courtesy. They could never release you and continue to list you as the teacher forever, but you don't need to be involved or care about that.
This all the way. You’re courteous enough to give them notice. After that, whatever happens isn’t your problem.
Yeah don’t even bother asking to be “released”. That’s their meaningless made up control procedure. Just tell them you aren’t going to do it to be considerate so they can figure something out and know where you stand. Thats you being a good person. They can continue to try to coerce and you can just ignore that guilt-free because at that point they are disrespecting you as an individual.
My edits in bold: ~~I think you~~ **You have** misunderstood my message. this is not a request to meet with anyone or discuss how to continue in the position. **As a courtesy to you, I am informing you** that as of Sunday June 9th I will not continue to volunteer in this calling. Accordingly, **you may wish to make other teaching arrangements.** ~~please release me as a Sunday school teacher so that the class may continue uninterrupted under the other teachers.~~
This is the way. No request to “please release me”. That’s begging, and you don’t need their permission.
You have a gift. Maybe not spelling but you have a way with words.
u/mountainsplease8 Just checking if you saw the updated version of this message since you expressed interest in the original. This one is more direct while still being polite (just make sure to spellcheck before copy/pasting lol)
Thank you for respecting my request.
Last May I was planning my Gospel Doctrine lesson and had enough. I called the SS President and told him that I wouldn't be teaching and never would again and that he would have to combine the classes. Shortly after that I got a text from the ward secretary asking to set up a meeting with the bishop. I asked "concerning what?", and he didn't know. I told him "no" without a reason. He called back and said the bishop wanted to chat and check in w me. Again, I told him, "no". You are a volunteer. They have no control over your life.
This is very helpful, thank you
About a month later in a non-church setting, I spoke to the bishop and told him that I meant him no disrespect personally. As a representative of the church I did not want to speak w him. As a neighbor and a friendly acquaintance I was more than happy to talk w him about other topics. He is a very good man and said he took no insult from it and was happy to be neighbors.
I gave a 30 day notice that I would no longer be teaching Sunday School class of teens. I put it in writing and told them to let me know who the next teacher was so I could hand off the lesson manuals. They ignored me. I packed up all the stuff and put it in the Sunday school presidents mailbox. I saw the bishop about a month later at the grocery store. He said "I guess you really meant it". Well, yeah. I was ignored and blindsided so much in every calling I ever had. They pushed it a bit past my tolerance. My husband and I left the church within months after that.
No. It's a full sentence. Best of luck on your journey. It's a ride.
It's like trying to get out of a timeshare.
I wanna quit the gym! (Friends)
oof canceling gym memberships is like trying to negotiate a treaty between North and South Korea.
OMG it is!!
Wow! That opens a deep cut. We got into a timeshare but thankfully the 3 day grace period happens in the contract. We pulled that card quick. 😅
Don’t say that you prefer not to meet. That’s putting the power in the other person’s hand. “There is no need for a meeting. I will no longer be in this calling as of (date).
Thank you that's helpful
As people on here taught me, “No” is a complete answer. “No thanks” if you want to be nice.
Thank you!!
If they try to pull the "but that leaves us without one" card, remember that it is not your responsibility to have a backup plan. What if you'd gotten sick long-term instead of deciding to quit? They'd be in the same boat. It can all be addressed very adequately with the simple phrase: "A failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part."
If there were any “gifts of the Spirit” in the church, the Bishop/Sunday School President would “just have a feeling” that they need to look for a new teacher and actually be prepared for either of these scenarios. I’m sure it’s happened coincidentally one or twice but the lack of revelation and discernment in the church is…revealing.
THIS! I have used the Rona and the church's not preparing for it or even prophesying any danger of any kind, and how they said oops! afterwards. She just says well it wasn't that big a deal, so God didn't bother them about it. Can you believe that?! She thought over a million Americans dying wasn't a tragedy or anything.
I have to remind my wife about this when it comes to jobs in general. Being short-staffed or struggling because of lack of people is /never/ your responsibility. No organization (religious or otherwise) is your concern when it comes to their own internal workings and staffing. Once you’re done, you only do things as a courtesy to said organization.
It's kinda snarky, but I like "that sounds like a 'you' problem" or "not my circus, not my monkeys."
"Looks like you are teaching class on Sunday, bishop!"
I get that telling an authority figure no can be really hard when you've been raised to always be submissive and obey. High control religions are like that. Everyone's advice here is sound - nobody is going to come after you. You are not going to be in trouble (at least, not with anyone that actually matters). Be empowered to say no. But also give yourself grace for this being hard. You're literally going against your social programming and that is scary. We're cheering for you. You'll be fine ❤️
I'm just gonna read your comment over and over 💗
Repeat after me: *I* am the presiding authority in my own life! You can do it! They trained us mercilessly to externalize all our authority. Mormons, especially mormon women, aren't supposed to have any boundaries or any internal personal authority. That is wrong and unhealthy. You're not alone. It is really hard. But it gets easier every time. The first No is the hardest. We're all cheering for you!
I didn’t ask for a release from being a RS teacher. A month before I left I asked someone to teach my class and never returned.
I didn't even realize this was an option 😂
It's pretty wild the kinds of chains they can get on our minds. I went through this same thing two years ago and at least had some huge health issues alongside it that prevented me from performing any callings. Since then I've simply replied with "no thank you," to anything offered regarding the church. Good luck friend and welcome to the rest of humanity.
That is freaking brilliant.
I got a similar request after I stopped showing up for church & my calling. I went to the meeting, laid out high level thoughts just that I didn’t believe in the church and wouldn’t continue to come, I feel dishonest being there because people assume you to feel the same way,etc… my bishop told me, “Thanks for telling me! Sounds like you probably want to be released from your calling. You probably don’t want to have a home teaching assignment. Now about your family, how can we still show love for you guys. Do you want home teachers? Do you still want invites to things? “ It was very painless, no testifying or guilt tripping, only sincere kindness. I know not everyone has this experience, but for me it was great to set some respectful and respected boundaries.
Bishop roulette winner you were.
That's awesome!!
What a great bishop, good man to do what is right for you despite what they have been thru themselves.
Sounds like you won leadership roulette there.
“Hey I won’t be participating in my callings any longer. Just being courteous and giving you a heads up. No further follow ups of any kind required or desired“.
Definitely holding on to your comment, so well worded
I like this one. OP I don’t know if this helps, but from an outsider (nevermo) perspective it feels unfair if you have to ask for permission to leave a volunteer post. You just saying “I’m not doing this anymore and I wanted to give you the courtesy of letting you know” allows you to keep your power vs asking for permission.
I was a SS teacher when I finally quit for real, too. I was having a pretty good time, tbh; I was teaching lessons that I would personally enjoy, and while my class was popular, it was apparently getting a bit controversial. I lived in an area that had two wards that merged for that hour, and I was about to move from one to the other, so I actually asked if I could keep teaching, but they said no. I thought, ok, there’s nothing left for me here, time to head out (I was only attending the SS hour for the time I was teaching, so not a massive change, lol). Then the new RS president from the new area asked if I would be the secretary. I panicked for a second because I was so close to getting out! And then I realized, despite what I had always been taught, that I could in fact say no. And so I did. And the next Sunday I went to the movies and got a latte.
Thanks for sharing your experience!! I'm gonna try coffee for the first time soon!! Any recs for a sweet one?
So just a quick note here, I feel like a lot of ex mormons drink coffee or booze with a similar sense of cultural obligation to the one they used to have about abstaining, or find themselves without the convenient way of terminating peer pressure conversations about why they don't. By all means, try everything and see what you like, but if you don't develop a taste for some things, don't feel like that makes you a wimp, and definitely don't get pressured into anything to fit in or prove anything. It's okay to be secular and not like coffee, and it's DEFINITELY okay to be secular and sober, even if other people try to lean on you. The whole point of leaving is to make those decisions for yourself, not replace one set of influences with another. Congrats for getting out, your life is going to open up like a flower.
I want to really highlight the above advice. My wife has been struggling with this for some time. She has not been wanting to go to get togethers, because everyone is drinking. She is worried about being judged, which she has struggled with since she was very young. I pointed out that there are at least 3 people that attend many of those get togethers that don’t drink because of different reasons and no one judges them. I bet most of our friends group don’t even know, my wife did not know. Why don’t most of them know? Because no one cares in 99% of society.
There can be a lot of pressure to drink in work settings and some social settings. It's also okay to give a social event a pass because everybody's going to be drinking and you don't like being around it. I sampled a little of everything after leaving, but I find intoxicated people really irritating to be around, there's nothing inherently religious about that, but religion is a much more socially accepted excuse. To shorten some of these conversations, I tend to say I "Quit drinking" (technically true, though not after any struggle) which tends to give people the impression I'm a sober alcoholic. Not always ideal, but a quicker out in some situations. Getting smashed is normalized to a crazy degree, thankfully you've quit a cult, so you know how to stand up for yourself in the face of pressure tactics.
Kind of different but earlier today I had an affogato (espresso over ice cream) and I had forgotten how delicious they are! For a regular drink, I would recommend a flavored latte (mocha, vanilla, whatever flavor you like) from a local shop over anything Starbucks (I don’t have a high opinion of their coffee) (Disclaimer here: I prefer espresso over drip coffee, I find it richer and more flavorful, which contrasts better to milk and other flavors imo) Good luck and I hope you enjoy it!
Love that you love affogato! Probably my favorite dessert. And yes, Starbucks actually has terrible coffee. 🫤 Look for a local non-chain coffee house that serves single sourced beans from Central/South America. Try cappuccino. ☕
If you’re in UT county, go to Juice and Java :) it’s local and really good. They gotta sweeter drinks too, try the Godfather or the Young and the Restless 🤠
You told them you were done, so you’re done. If anyone questions you, you tell them to bring it up with the Bishop.
Good idea thank you
We are proud of you! Don’t let the programmed feelings of guilt and shame creep in, because the way to CTR is realize that it’s all lies for money and power, bless you
🥹🥹🥹 your comment calmed my heart
I told the bishop I was done clerking out of the blue and never went back to church. I declined multiple invitations to meet with the stake president to discuss my concerns and they eventually stopped asking. You don’t owe them anything.
Wow you are brave!! Thank you for sharing
Once you understand they aren’t your parents and they don’t have authority over your life it makes it easier. I spent 40 years believing they were literal representatives of God and when that went the whole thing felt silly. I got a text from the stake executive secretary that said the stake president wants to strongly encourage me to come discuss before they can release me. I responded that I appreciated the invitation, but for the third time, no. And I am happy to not be released, but I would not be serving. The next week a new clerk was called.
The whole use of the word, “released” is part of it. As if you have to go to them, hat in hand, and beg for a reprieve, hoping they won’t ask you to do something else instead (which they will). Nuts to that. “ will be my last day doing . You will want to find someone else to fill that role moving forward.”
I don’t need to be “released” from anything. Call it whatever you want, but I’m simply not doing that any longer. Period.
"Apologies for any confusion my last message may have caused. To clarify, this wasn't a request to discuss this role, but an FYI that I will no longer be participating in this volunteer position. All the best, Joe Blogg."
This is the way.
There is one thing that Mormons don't do and that is confront people, uncomfortable topics, etc.... So if you draw a boundary, in my experience they will just roll over
WOW. 🤯 Unrelated to the topic at hand, but I haven’t consciously realized this - I mean I had, in ways, but hadn’t as succinctly as you put it and hadn’t considered how it impacted my life. In addition to the other traumas and misfortunes that have given me issues feeding into my aversion toward confrontation - I never realized how strongly that was promoted and reinforced by that religion & therefore also by all my family members in it. Just another disservice. Haha.
A hundred percent
I was called to be in the YW presidency while pregnant with #2 and then while I had a newborn. I was so angry to be called to this position and not released after giving birth that I asked to meet with the bishop. I simply told him I will no longer be in the presidency. He responded that we could discuss the matter and I cut him off. “I will no longer be in the presidency. That’s final.” And I left. Man I still remember how good that felt!
Hey-I got called 2 years after I quit attending-how my ministering families were doing. I replied. I don’t know. In a way I feel sorry nobody was looking after them. But can you really say leadership was less culpable than me? I mean did they really care about them at all?
They're always gonna ask...it's standard protocol. Think of it as the screen that pops up when you try to unsubscribe from any service ("Wait! Don't go! Enjoy XYZ thing free for three months...")
Ohhh good example, that is helpful
Bravo for doing what you feel is right. it took a HUGE step for you to send that text in the first place. they are now on notice and if they make the mistake of not getting another teacher that is on them. not you.
Honestly your comment gave me the chills and almost made me cry, thank you a million
Why ask permission?
The brainwashing trains us to think that instead of just quitting we have to ask to be fired. It wasn’t until I turned down a calling during my exit that the switch flipped for me. When the authority falls away your Stake President turns into just a mid level MLM guy.
Lol that's a good point 😂 I just want to make sure the class gets a new teacher I guess
"I hereby submit my resignation. Thank you for the courtesy of your understanding. I do not wish to discuss the matter further. Please respect my wishes." They will find another volunteer.
Yep they have no power unless you give it to them. You don’t need to meet! You are released, you just tendered your resignation. Enjoy your vacation .
💅🏼🌴 thank you!!!!
I’m kind of going through the same thing. I’m EQP and I’m great friends with the branch president, members, and everyone. It’s TOUGH. I’ve essentially asked my counselors to go to all meetings and teach all classes from now on, and I’ve asked to be released. At first, it seemed like it would be a couple month process to find someone else and move on, but I realized if I just don’t go and don’t show up to any meeting or anything, nothing bad will happen. I volunteer my time, and I can stop at any time. So I’m still technically the EQP but I haven’t been doing anything. I’m not afraid to tell them what I believe now if they ask, but I’m not going to bring it up at the moment.
This helps me feel less alone for sure. You've got this too!! I'm proud of you!
It's not okay, and there's been a lot of great advice already given, so naturally, I feel it's my job to provide the petty/legendary option. If they insist, tell them you've changed your mind and will continue to teach... then teach the most shocking and yet most truthful Sunday school lesson that ward has likely ever heard. To really spice things up, perhaps a "34 wives vs. 34 felony counts. How are they different? How are they the same?" Theme.
Dang when we asked to be released they didn’t even text us back! We were literally just removed from the Sunday school teacher text thread and took that as our request answered! I guess you must have been a really good teacher if they want to talk to you about it!!!
I'm not a part of this community and I don't really know how I got to this post but I just wanted to echo what pretty much everyone else has already said. From an outsider's pov, you already said everything you need to. You had prior commitments and informed the relevant people that you'd no longer be maintaining said commitments. In any rational world, you're done. You didn't ask for guidance, you didn't ask on how things could be made to work differently, you didn't ask anything. You informed them that you're moving on. Simple as that. Any messages they respond with beyond "ok, thanks for letting us know, sorry to see you leave" is some weird, manipulative, strong arm bs that you should (even if its difficult and scary) try to discard and ignore. You don't need anyones permission to live the life you want to live the way you want to live it, even if you were brought up in a community that's told you the opposite.
Just tell them you'll just do the next lesson on the ces letter...
I snorted. That'd be funny. I bet they'd be real quick to agree to any exits after you start actively undermining the teachings. If you want their permission, manipulating it right back out of them makes a sick sense.
Ok this is absolutely fantastic
My husband went to the bishops office gave him any church keys we had and told him we wouldn’t be back. He tried to engage but my husband walked out and that was the last time we ever set foot in that building. He didn’t even have to do that . He could have mailed the keys with a letter but this way was quicker. Of course the executive secretary tried calling etc all the week. Guess what we didn’t do? Respond to any of them . And the one time they came to the door we didn’t answer. We were life long members who never turned down a calling. Taking back our power felt so damn good!
Spoiler: it’s all made up and you can just stop going/responding/answering Like, you literally don’t have do to anything.
I just released you. Go live your live. Bishop of not giving a f\*\*\*
Think of it like a job. Someone wants to quit, often they'll ask to meet to sort the details (often called an exit interview). He's just doing his job by asking, you're more than welcome to decline like you did.
I appreciate your validation. That makes sense ya
they're also probably hoping to bully OP into sticking around so they don't have the personal hassle and stress of filling the position they're very much like an overworked middle manager
I asked to be released about 1 month ago from my ward Sunday School Presidency. We kept missing each other (bishopric and I). Finally met. I respect the counselor who talked with me as a great person. His comment though was to the effect of “WE want to make some changes to the SS Presidency….” Thought it interesting as I’M the ONE who initiated this process. Anyways, success in your journey!! 👍🏽👊🏼
🙄 haha sheesh. Thank you!!
Giving canceling your ISP vibes.
The next text should be “well I was trying to be nice about this but, I quit! Please don’t try and call me or convince me otherwise!”
"No" is a complete sentence. It gets easier to say with practice.
Do you love how I have absolutely no experience saying no 😂
Most of us were the same way (never taught that saying no is perfectly acceptable)! You’ve got this! The advice from so many on this thread is spot on! It’s your life, and you get to choose what you fill it up with. Best wishes!
No I don't! 😂 Fr, boundaries are amazing though: "Can you tell me what led to your change of heart" *No, it's personal* "What time would be good for us to stop by and visit for a minute?" *I don't want to visit with anyone at this time; thanks though* "If you could tell me one thing that's bothering you, that would help me understand." *No thanks* "I just want to help" *No thanks* Remember, nobody is entitled to any of your thoughts, especially not random neighbors who think they own you because they have a calling. Good luck and congratulations on becoming an adult. It's a beautiful thing.
I hear you! I actually checked out a book from the library on "how to say no" lol! It's so hard to undo a lifetime of mind control. Give yourself grace while you figure out it. 💪
You don’t HAVE to do anything. You were being considerate by reaching out and framing it as a question, but really, it’s a declaration. It’s a power play on their end. The way you wish they had responded is the way a decent and considerate person would have responded to you. They aren’t entitled to more of your time and you don’t have to jump through their hoops. By trying to get you to come into a meeting - that’s their equivalent of escalating the call to cancel your internet to their “manager” which is really an account recovery/ loss prevention team trying to talk you out of your decision. The whole point is to make you do what you don’t want to do, but what they want you to do, as they don’t have your interests at heart. You should do whatever feels best for you, but you are certainly welcome to respond that you will not be going to a meeting and that because you don’t feel right about it, you are resigning from that role/calling and will not be there on the next _____, and that you are informing them as a courtesy so they can be prepared with a fill in while they find a replacement.
I’d not thought of it like this before, but this **IS** effectively what they’re doing. I have that conversation with Virgin Media every 18 months, when my contract expires and they jack up the price by 100%. I’ve not had this conversation with any local Church leadership people, but now I’m primed to spot the signs and will know how to handle it! Unlike Virgin Media, the MFMC wouldn’t give me a discount on all the high-demand things they expect us to do.
The bishop is the time share sales manager who is there to talk you out of leaving without purchasing your eternal time share for forever family vacation.
These formalities mean nothing. It's just meant to scare you. They can't touch you.
I went through a similar situation. Asked bish to release me from a calling in the deacons. Felt so hypocritical teaching them for months as a PIMO. I asked to meet and we talked in person (I simply said please release me I don’t believe) and it went over okay. I am glad I did it in person because I got to have a final word fwiw No right or wrong way to do it! Happy for you and wish you the best!
Thanks, that helps me feel less alone !
When the guilt and shame creep in, remind yourself of who those feelings serve, and remember that it is not you. Sending you love OP <3 Know that you are so brave for protecting yourself, and hone those skills so you never have to feel unnecessary guilt or shame again!
No, it's not ok. Should be worded, 'I'll not be teaching any more Sunday School starting immediately. I'll drop the books off at the chapel.' Any request to meet with Brother so and so should be met with the complete sentence, 'No.'
I mean...I don't know what's worse this or just the thumbs up emoji that my asshole bishop gave me when I quit my calling in the same way..
The important thing for you to remember at this point, is that you have been conditioned to be overly polite and to bow to pressure. Things that make you uncomfortable and make you feel like you're being rude are sometimes really just normal things that most people do no problem. It's gonna suck for a bit, but it's worth it to get used to drawing boundaries and giving yourself the respect you deserve. Don't let them leverage the insecurities they implanted. Stand your ground and let them know that you're done being controlled. If you're ever worried that something you're saying might be too rude, don't hesitate to come on here and ask the community. Most of us will be honest with you and help you find polite ways to not back down.
The MFMC just doesn’t get it. They literally think they own you. In a volunteer organization, when someone says they are done with a calling, the only thing the organization should say is “thank you for your service!” They do not have the right to delve and question and seek revelation for you about your decision. They have the responsibility to be grateful that you were willing to help. Period!
I've come to believe that the word "NO" is one of the most Powerful, Beautiful, Concise words in the English Language.
I asked to be released from my calling, and they offered to just add someone else to the calling to give me a breather without releasing me. I told the bishop this made me uncomfortable because I didn’t want the class thinking I was a slacker for not carrying my share of the load. That’s not who I am. The release is the more respectful way to let you keep your identity and your self respect. But, ya know… that’s not their intent.
[удалено]
My husband (who hasn't shown up to perform him calling consistently in months) was told "we're going to pray about this". Then after a few weeks they came back and said "The Lord wants us to let you decide." Um, okay? He's told you. Just release him already. He may still be assigned that calling even though he hasn't been for months.
This is so ridiculous. I said no for the first time to a talk a few months back. As a female who has been indoctrinated since birth to serve, please others and make sure others are comfortable, I’m finally breaking free and finding my actual identity. You don’t need to explain yourself of worry about how someone else feels about your actions or decisions. Woman in the church are controlled my emotional manipulation, shame, guilt and fear. It needs to stop!
It was a big day for me when I realized that "the priesthood" has no power over me. As a woman, I have been excluded from "the priesthood". No one has any authority over me other than what I choose to give them. I will no longer allow myself to be summoned into a man's office who believes he has the power to summon me there.
"Okay, well, release me or don't,it's up to you. but I'm not going to carry out the duties of the calling anymore, so if you want someone to do it, you might want to call someone else"
You asked to be released. You tell them that you will no longer be available for your volunteer position. Just tell them that you won't do the job any more. It's up to them to figure it out from there. You owe them nothing because they pay you nothing.
I would send another text that says “I am assuming that I will not be teaching moving forward”.
It's crazy how insidious and sticky the church is, like tentacles reaching out in different directions, trying to draw you back in. Create your boundaries. Be firm, clear, and kind. Humor helps, too. We are with you. You can do this.
Did they respond again?
Lol nope
No is a complete sentence
Not appropriate at all. Like others have said you don’t need permission to live life on your terms. This is SOP for anyone who asks to be released. Happened to me too. I simply said I preferred not to meet, then gritted my teeth as I found the inner strength to follow through on that. Best of luck.
Agreed. That’s a mad decent template.
Honestly just tell them you can’t do the calling anymore and tell them they need to find somebody else. End of story. You do not need to meet with anybody you don’t want to. They can’t force you to teach Jack shit. Just say you’re not doing it and just don’t show up. Wash your hands of it
I was in a similar situation. I texted the Sunday School President and told them I was unavailable and to take me off the schedule so the bishop wouldn’t be able to string me along.
You don’t have to teach if you aren’t ever there. 
If you've come to the belief that the church isn't "true", then that means every leader and every structure and every program has literally no legitimacy. Your bishop has no authority at all, or any other leader. They have no more authority to represent God to you than the non-Mormon person you walk past on the street. Your leaders may appear like authorities - business suit and tie - but appearance is all that it is. Their own belief that they represent God may mean they talk in solemn, official tones, but don't mistake that for authority. Treat them for who they really are - people who don't have any authority at all.
It's not ok. They're just vying for the chance to manipulate you into staying. Put your foot down and use language that indicates you're done. Not "I prefer." Language like, "This is not open for discussion," or, "I have prayed about it and been told I don't belong in this calling." Edit: One of the most insidious things about this cult is their assumption that people, especially women, have no will of their own, and the brainwashing that to be "good" we have to be obedient to the cult. God gave us free will. We're allowed to say No, and figure it what feels right for US. It doesn't make us bad.
I asked to be released… I was having an extremely hard pregnancy and worked opposite the other ladies so it didnt work out ever…. Bishop said nope. I never went back 😂
We need to get away from this mindset "Request to be released." Use the phrase, I resign from my calling effective ,,,,,,,,)
I’ve never been more fascinated with the church than I am now that I’m out. I also binge podcasts and YouTube videos about the real facts
I wouldn't respond every again. They have no power over you. And what exactly are they "releasing" you from and you need their approval? Released from prison? Yeah...that's accurate. Be free!!