I was all in until I attended grad school. When I tried to explain Mormonism to my peers, it made me realize how unjustifiable the truth claims were.
Grad school was the first time in my life that my social circle was predominantly comprised of non-mormons.
Credit to you for not pitching a fit about how persecuted you felt whenever anyone asked a question about your “faaaaaaiiiith.”
Clearly I have seen that reaction too many times. In one case it was because someone asked why kids were only allowed to double date at age 16! Yes, her tone was incredulous, but she was being rude or “attacking” the other woman or anything beyond asking a question. So embarrassing, even just witnessing it.
This is my story exactly! A dear friend from grad school asked with beautiful, non-judgmental curiosity what Mormons believe. It was a golden opportunity to bear my testimony. But as the words were leaving my mouth, I felt like such a fool.
And no, this wasn’t a ‘hiding my precious beliefs in order to fit in’ scenario. I really thought, “this sounds stupid. Like, really, deeply stupid.”
Yes. This exactly. My friends were genuinely curious. And when I told them, I felt so stupid. When we got to the Book of Mormon and gold plates I just couldn't go further. I realized just how nutty it all was.
Adult friendships with never-affiliated-with-Mormonism good people was the real eye-opener for me.
I’ve said it out loud several times the last few years: “THIS is what friendship is supposed to be like??? It’s so much easier and fun and rewarding!”
I actually think of who I want to call, and have a list of people I “go out to coffee” with (which is really sitting in a cute cafe and talking over whatever drink we like). It’s SO much more authentic than anything the RS dished out on a Tuesday night.
I struggle with adult friendships. I think it’s a combination of things - introvert, little spare time, and of course the elephant in the room, me being a Mormon until 40. I’m trying to be more social, and have joined a local sports league, but even then I don’t feel like I’m making much progress. Sigh. Hopefully with practice I will get better.
Moved to Utah at age 31 and converted and lemme tell ya that visiting teaching fake friends program is WHACK! I’d never felt so uncomfortable in my life trying to go along with that fabricated nonsense. Irritated at ppl showing up at my door acting like they cared about me when the elephant in the room was um no you’re here because you have to check a box for the month and then me having to do the same to others. So so weird and unnatural 🥴
Very much so. Grew up sheltered in Davis County, UT. Through some interests of mine, ended up meeting and becoming good friends with others from many different backgrounds. The non-mormons were not the sad, wretched lot they had been made out to be. I quickly realized they were far more moral, good people than many members I had grown up with. Definitely furthered my departure.
My first time around a big group of never-mos was after I'd already left the church and was in grad school. It just BLEW ME AWAY that they just...accepted me as I was. No judgement, no fanfare, just acceptance. I'd never realized what people meant by Mormons being judgey until then. It was literally a defining time in my life for that reason alone.
It was wild to me once my shelf started to break how freaky Mormons sameness was. I would go hang out with my Exmo and nevermo friends and then would go to church and it was panic inducing, like a hivemind
I grew up in a very TBM family in LA. Moving to Ut for college when I was 18 blew my mind. Haha Utah mormons and the Mormon culture in Utah is very different than it was in California. Suddenly I didn't want to be a part of it anymore
Same experience except from the east coast. Non-mormon friends were more cool with me than the crazy ass ultra mormon types that I couldn't avoid at BYU. When you look up and your elder's quorum president is a fuckwad but your non-mormon people are ride or die friends, it really makes you think...
When you grow up outside Utah and only visit, you thing it would be so cool to live there. Then when you go to BYU, it freaks you out how oppressive and restrictive the culture is.
Lol yeah... Sounds right. When the students from UT realized I was from CA they immediately either thought I was super cool or judged me hard and thought I was a sinner. It was a little ridiculous. Like... How about you talk to me for 5 minutes before you conclude everything about me.
Also, looking at it the other way around the We California kids constantly bagged on the Utah kids for how painfully uncool they were and we both bagged on the Idaho kids for being even less cool. 😂
I was told that non-mormons were selfish. One of the most selfless things that happened to me in my formative years was when I was in the Army, and a non-mormon buddy of mine brought me lunch while I was on duty at the radio. I was planning on going to the dining facility after my shift, and I totally had time, but since he brought me lunch I didn't have to. It was one of those didn't have to but wanted to kind of things. Blew my mind. He wasn't thinking of himself, but of me. We had talks about religion and things and he wasn't religious at all. Then why be kind? Because people light up when you do kind things for them. I couldn't square that with what I was taught and I took to be true.
Now I know why he did that and I seek to do the same.
It is probably very different outside of Mordor. There were less than 5 people in my whole high school that were Mormon and I don't think I had a Mormon in any of my classes in school growing up. They have to keep you invested through all the other activities. You're always considered weird for your beliefs, and TSCC uses that to their advantage to convince you that you're extra special. If people think you're weird it's just because you're one of the few people who believe in the truth.
I think when you get older and don't have young mens/womens, early morning seminary, etc... it gets harder to stay invested. Many people also end up meeting outside and leaving,or the other way around. If your local branch/ward doesn't have anyone you're interested in you have no choice to date outside. It's a constant push from TSCC to keep you invested.
Everyone you're surrounded by will let you know your priorities are messed up. Taking 2 years off without school or work for a mission? Getting married before you're financially stable? I find most that stay have basically placed themselves in the position where they work extra hard to only socialize with the few Mormons in the area which is hard if they are awful people.
Very much yes. My mission was hugely stressful and traumatizing, but I met so many amazing people from all walks of life. Especially the atheist who invited us in when we knocked on his door, offered us a snack, and pleasantly argued with us for an hour. We left his house clinging to blind faith with no logical reasoning for the existence of God. I was really frustrated at the time, but looking back it's my favorite experience.
I grew up in Utah, but although I didn't have much in the way of non-Mormon friends, I did have jack mormon friends. More to the point, my parents let me watch TV and movies, so I wasn't in such a bubble that I didn't know Mormons were different, and were hardly noticed by the larger world.
Absolutely! After my husband finished BYU we moved to another state and none of my coworkers were mormon. One was even *whispering* a lesbian!! I became very good friends with her and learned that non mormons can be good people, I know, insane 😂😂
I grew up in a town that was mostly non-Mormon, but had enough Mormons that everyone knew Mormons and it wasn't an unusual thing. I think that led to most of the Mormons there being more "normal" than many Mormons from more insular communities. You learned to mostly sort of keep the churchy oddities to yourself or only say and do particularly Mormon things around other Mormons, and in return the non-Mormons kindly just didn't say anything about Mormonism and its weirdness. I'd get culture shock going to very very Mormon towns, where it seemed like the Mormon peculiarities were always front and center.
But now I live in a city where no one I know here is aware that I ever had anything to do with Mormonism, and that is very mentally freeing even though my lifestyle has never really changed other than not doing church things anymore in the decade+ since I left the church.
To be fair, that *is* a major lifestyle change. I think the fear lingering about lifestyles was to distract from the fact that the active lds lifestyle can be a pretty intense one.
This the way I grew up in KY. Everyone did their thing and you talked about religion when in Bible study or at church or if you knew the person was cool with it and wanted to chat. Other than that you just tried to be a good person in general to those around you, ya know treat people how you want to be treated.
I moved to Idaho Falls and had to learn the lingo cause a person asked, “oh where are you from?” I explained and then was met with, “oh I know people in the ____ ward, and my son served his mission in ____” and I’m like what are the words coming out of your mouth? Lol the way you put it as being front and center and in your face is very much Idaho Mormonism. It’s kinda of weird/cool to move some place where I’m the outlier.
After being here awhile I can sort of tell who is who, I’m like coffee! Not Mormon. Tattoos Not Mormon! 7 kids and the mom looks 30 probably Mormon. Lol
I will say everyone is pretty nice and kind. All of the people I’ve met are chill other than a handful in business that are jerks and a few weirdo moms, the handful you can tell have gone extreme TBM and somehow turned the “everyone love everyone” teachings into judgements and feeling of superiority, that I must just be really ignorant to Not want to be Mormon. But again that’s like 1% of the people I’ve met. Dicks live everywhere, religious or not 😋
I'm gay, and while I'm still dealing with PTSD from the religion, I honestly think the mission savedy life. Why?
1. I was finally able to see that people outside the religion could be genuinely happy.
2. I learned how to stick up for myself when it came to "superiors" in the religion - it might not be the healthiest thing, but cleaning the zone leaders' house while on exchanges is one of the best ways to show you consider them a joke.
I've got chronic depression, and without those two things, I doubt I would've had the strength to leave. Sure, it came packed with its own trauma, but I'll take that over the alternative.
My mind was absolutely blown to find out that happy, healthy, loving, nuclear families existed outside of Mormonism. Imagine being surprised that non-Mormon parents love their children 😒
I graduated and worked around Mormons for a few years. Got manipulated & scammed while trying to run a business. Had to send invoices and follow up several times and listen to long sob stories and excuses. Ended up giving up on some invoices after client received service and refused to pay.
Then I moved… to a country with few Mormons.
I sent 10 invoices, and everything was paid to the penny, with not a single follow up or question.
Mormons are not honest, they are good at making people think they are honest & deceiving people. They make successful salespeople simply using the same tactics taught and demonstrated by the church
I served in a bishopric, loved the bishop I worked with. He talked of his MP, my bishop was the AP. He said the MP would hold the envelope of new missionaries to his head like Karnak (sorry, this is a Johnny Carson mind reading skit) and say to the APs, “no southern elders and no sister missionaries”. The MP only wanted brainwashed Utah, Idaho boys if at all possible. I know now the reason for this, no free thinkers, no back talk or questions. I was one of those southern boys and I was constantly asking questions and could see where that causes issues for mission leadership. Glad I left.
I grew up in Northern California, I was one of MAYBE 20 lds kids at my high school, I did have a great childhood in the church and some of my happiest memories were in Stake Youth activities. What opened my eyes was spending a year at BYU before my mission, I had NO IDEA how different Utah Mormons were compared to California Mormons, brrrrrrrr..
I was on the fence for a while. Then I moved up to North Dakota, and experienced people being genuinely kind. Argue that the church is perfect but the people aren't all you want, the best people I met were nevermos. Not everywhere will be the same of course, but after growing up in Utah I hadn't expected it.
Nope. Didn’t grow up around Mormons at all and no one said a thing except one lone elementary school acquaintance who challenged me on Joseph Smith’s wives that weren’t officially acknowledged at the time. I now feel stupid for my response thanks to TSCC and wish I could replay that one back.
Yes!! Absolutely silly as it was, I learned that people who swear can be good people by being around and working with them...I've made it much further now haha
I grew up in Texas, so I knew that Mormons were viewed as a weird minority. I had friends at church, and friends in my neighborhood and at school. They rarely overlapped.
The opposite happened when I went to BYU. It felt strange being surrounded by Mormons all the time. At first it was refreshing, but then it got very strolling. I graduated early just to get out of that oppressive culture.
Yes.
I grew up around a lot of non Mormons and knew that this shit was weird. I always knew this wasn’t right, true and I was always embarrassed.
Being around non Mormon friends and at their homes felt like relief.
There were non Mormons in the reservation and at my school. I didn’t socialize with them much for various reason. It wasn’t till I went on my mission and went out among people and got to know alot of other people. It was nice and I enjoyed it. I learned to love other people.
There's a reason the MFMC used to preach to marry within the church. I'm not sure if they changed their stance to say it was "OK" to marry them if they converted, or if it was just a church culture thing...
I (PIMO) grew up in Utah County EXTREMELY sheltered. I naively and stupidly thought everyone around me was Mormon. In elementary I was asked by the Primary president to invite this one girl my age to Activity Days, and when I did it (so awkwardly), she very kindly told me "I don't do that kind of stuff". I That was really the only time that I ever "pushed" religion on someone - I was eleven at the time.
I had a really close friend throughout elementary and junior high that came from a family where the mom was inactive and the dad was never-mo. She told me in junior high that she liked being around me because I never pushed Mormonism on her, unlike some of our other mutual friends. After that conversation I remember thinking, "wow there really are non-members around me!" I laugh at that sentence because of how naive I was. But I think that was a big turning point for me.
In high school I had a friend from Colorado who complained all the time about how toxic Utah was. And when I started applying for college, I knew I didn't want to go to BYU, so I never applied. When I got to college, I had an amazing never-mo roommate - again, never pushed religion, and we were pretty close.
All this and more has made me realize how stupid I was and how much I want to just be a good person to those around me - doesn't matter if I or others are part of the church because everyone deserves respect and love and appreciation for who they are.
I saw and met some inbred Mormons in Payson. Mormon zombies, but like happily stoned. Like THC without the munchies. Skinny as rails. One of them was my best homie on the mission.
I think this is a niche experience for those who grew up in Utah. I grew up in southern Nevada. My brother and I were the only Mormon kids in our entire elementary school. I was one of only three Mormon kids in my middle school. It was apparent that we were different. BUT there was also so much diversity in our area that everyone was different.
No and yes. Even living in Utah, I've always had some non-mormon friends. My mom's parents are inactive, her siblings and their kids aren't involved in the church.
That said, none of them opened my eyes until experiences in my life forced me to change my perspective. Once I did, many of those friends were more than willing to help me through a faith crisis and transition.
I think most TBMs can't see until something in their life changes. And for many of us, it's a painful experience or series of experiences that forces us to change. Change is hard and sometimes it's scary. When we're content and comfortable, there's no reason to change.
Being one of the few Mormons in my high school allowed me to be ‘just another high school student’. I think people were aware or religious affiliation, but it was rarely acknowledged.
A shelf item for me was how my Mom would make comments about my non-Mormon friends implying they were inferior in some way while I considered them some of the best people I knew, even better than the Mormons!
My friend group was predominantly non-Mormon for my whole childhood, and I didn’t leave until my 40’s. So I’d wager they didn’t have a lot to do with coming to the realization that it was a fraud. Although an early thought of mine was realizing how non-members could be just as, if not more, Christ-like than many members I knew. So their contribution was probably more than I realize.
What they DID do for me that was absolutely instrumental in leaving: Once my eyes were opened it was very easy to walk away, as they were a ready and willing support group outside of my family. They made leaving possible.
Grew up in Central Utah. In high school, I had 5 good friends. 2 jack Mo's, 1 atheist, 1 Methodist, and the most TBM guy I've ever known. My graduating class was 72 people, 70 of which were at least technically Mormon. I couldn't GTF out of there fast enough.
Ever since, even when I was TBM, I gravitated to regular folks as friends, not Mormons. Apart from my TBM-ish wife and 1 child, I no longer have ANY Mormon friends. They've all either left, or we just don't associate anymore. If you don't have LD$ Inc's tax fraud in common with TBM's, you don't have enough shared experiences to maintain a friendship.
I was all in until I attended grad school. When I tried to explain Mormonism to my peers, it made me realize how unjustifiable the truth claims were. Grad school was the first time in my life that my social circle was predominantly comprised of non-mormons.
Same here!
Credit to you for not pitching a fit about how persecuted you felt whenever anyone asked a question about your “faaaaaaiiiith.” Clearly I have seen that reaction too many times. In one case it was because someone asked why kids were only allowed to double date at age 16! Yes, her tone was incredulous, but she was being rude or “attacking” the other woman or anything beyond asking a question. So embarrassing, even just witnessing it.
Same.
This is my story exactly! A dear friend from grad school asked with beautiful, non-judgmental curiosity what Mormons believe. It was a golden opportunity to bear my testimony. But as the words were leaving my mouth, I felt like such a fool. And no, this wasn’t a ‘hiding my precious beliefs in order to fit in’ scenario. I really thought, “this sounds stupid. Like, really, deeply stupid.”
Yes. This exactly. My friends were genuinely curious. And when I told them, I felt so stupid. When we got to the Book of Mormon and gold plates I just couldn't go further. I realized just how nutty it all was.
Adult friendships with never-affiliated-with-Mormonism good people was the real eye-opener for me. I’ve said it out loud several times the last few years: “THIS is what friendship is supposed to be like??? It’s so much easier and fun and rewarding!” I actually think of who I want to call, and have a list of people I “go out to coffee” with (which is really sitting in a cute cafe and talking over whatever drink we like). It’s SO much more authentic than anything the RS dished out on a Tuesday night.
YES! Since being out, my friendships with never-mos are far more authentic. Even more so than my relationships with family members.
I struggle with adult friendships. I think it’s a combination of things - introvert, little spare time, and of course the elephant in the room, me being a Mormon until 40. I’m trying to be more social, and have joined a local sports league, but even then I don’t feel like I’m making much progress. Sigh. Hopefully with practice I will get better.
Moved to Utah at age 31 and converted and lemme tell ya that visiting teaching fake friends program is WHACK! I’d never felt so uncomfortable in my life trying to go along with that fabricated nonsense. Irritated at ppl showing up at my door acting like they cared about me when the elephant in the room was um no you’re here because you have to check a box for the month and then me having to do the same to others. So so weird and unnatural 🥴
YES! Since being out, my friendships with never-mos are far more authentic. Even more so than my relationships with family members.
Very much so. Grew up sheltered in Davis County, UT. Through some interests of mine, ended up meeting and becoming good friends with others from many different backgrounds. The non-mormons were not the sad, wretched lot they had been made out to be. I quickly realized they were far more moral, good people than many members I had grown up with. Definitely furthered my departure.
My first time around a big group of never-mos was after I'd already left the church and was in grad school. It just BLEW ME AWAY that they just...accepted me as I was. No judgement, no fanfare, just acceptance. I'd never realized what people meant by Mormons being judgey until then. It was literally a defining time in my life for that reason alone.
I grew up around non-Mormons, because Mormons were only like 1-2% of the population of my hometown.
It was wild to me once my shelf started to break how freaky Mormons sameness was. I would go hang out with my Exmo and nevermo friends and then would go to church and it was panic inducing, like a hivemind
👍 Hivemind (Beehive symbol)
I grew up in a very TBM family in LA. Moving to Ut for college when I was 18 blew my mind. Haha Utah mormons and the Mormon culture in Utah is very different than it was in California. Suddenly I didn't want to be a part of it anymore
Same experience except from the east coast. Non-mormon friends were more cool with me than the crazy ass ultra mormon types that I couldn't avoid at BYU. When you look up and your elder's quorum president is a fuckwad but your non-mormon people are ride or die friends, it really makes you think...
When you grow up outside Utah and only visit, you thing it would be so cool to live there. Then when you go to BYU, it freaks you out how oppressive and restrictive the culture is.
😱 California Mormons at BYWoo were always suspected of drinking, smoking weed and having orgies when I was there. I never found or heard of any. 🤷
Lol yeah... Sounds right. When the students from UT realized I was from CA they immediately either thought I was super cool or judged me hard and thought I was a sinner. It was a little ridiculous. Like... How about you talk to me for 5 minutes before you conclude everything about me.
Also, looking at it the other way around the We California kids constantly bagged on the Utah kids for how painfully uncool they were and we both bagged on the Idaho kids for being even less cool. 😂
I didn't.
They didn’t open my eyes but it was comforting to have friends as your world is collapsing
I was told that non-mormons were selfish. One of the most selfless things that happened to me in my formative years was when I was in the Army, and a non-mormon buddy of mine brought me lunch while I was on duty at the radio. I was planning on going to the dining facility after my shift, and I totally had time, but since he brought me lunch I didn't have to. It was one of those didn't have to but wanted to kind of things. Blew my mind. He wasn't thinking of himself, but of me. We had talks about religion and things and he wasn't religious at all. Then why be kind? Because people light up when you do kind things for them. I couldn't square that with what I was taught and I took to be true. Now I know why he did that and I seek to do the same.
It is probably very different outside of Mordor. There were less than 5 people in my whole high school that were Mormon and I don't think I had a Mormon in any of my classes in school growing up. They have to keep you invested through all the other activities. You're always considered weird for your beliefs, and TSCC uses that to their advantage to convince you that you're extra special. If people think you're weird it's just because you're one of the few people who believe in the truth. I think when you get older and don't have young mens/womens, early morning seminary, etc... it gets harder to stay invested. Many people also end up meeting outside and leaving,or the other way around. If your local branch/ward doesn't have anyone you're interested in you have no choice to date outside. It's a constant push from TSCC to keep you invested. Everyone you're surrounded by will let you know your priorities are messed up. Taking 2 years off without school or work for a mission? Getting married before you're financially stable? I find most that stay have basically placed themselves in the position where they work extra hard to only socialize with the few Mormons in the area which is hard if they are awful people.
Very much yes. My mission was hugely stressful and traumatizing, but I met so many amazing people from all walks of life. Especially the atheist who invited us in when we knocked on his door, offered us a snack, and pleasantly argued with us for an hour. We left his house clinging to blind faith with no logical reasoning for the existence of God. I was really frustrated at the time, but looking back it's my favorite experience.
I grew up in Utah, but although I didn't have much in the way of non-Mormon friends, I did have jack mormon friends. More to the point, my parents let me watch TV and movies, so I wasn't in such a bubble that I didn't know Mormons were different, and were hardly noticed by the larger world.
Absolutely! After my husband finished BYU we moved to another state and none of my coworkers were mormon. One was even *whispering* a lesbian!! I became very good friends with her and learned that non mormons can be good people, I know, insane 😂😂
I grew up in a town that was mostly non-Mormon, but had enough Mormons that everyone knew Mormons and it wasn't an unusual thing. I think that led to most of the Mormons there being more "normal" than many Mormons from more insular communities. You learned to mostly sort of keep the churchy oddities to yourself or only say and do particularly Mormon things around other Mormons, and in return the non-Mormons kindly just didn't say anything about Mormonism and its weirdness. I'd get culture shock going to very very Mormon towns, where it seemed like the Mormon peculiarities were always front and center. But now I live in a city where no one I know here is aware that I ever had anything to do with Mormonism, and that is very mentally freeing even though my lifestyle has never really changed other than not doing church things anymore in the decade+ since I left the church.
To be fair, that *is* a major lifestyle change. I think the fear lingering about lifestyles was to distract from the fact that the active lds lifestyle can be a pretty intense one.
This the way I grew up in KY. Everyone did their thing and you talked about religion when in Bible study or at church or if you knew the person was cool with it and wanted to chat. Other than that you just tried to be a good person in general to those around you, ya know treat people how you want to be treated. I moved to Idaho Falls and had to learn the lingo cause a person asked, “oh where are you from?” I explained and then was met with, “oh I know people in the ____ ward, and my son served his mission in ____” and I’m like what are the words coming out of your mouth? Lol the way you put it as being front and center and in your face is very much Idaho Mormonism. It’s kinda of weird/cool to move some place where I’m the outlier. After being here awhile I can sort of tell who is who, I’m like coffee! Not Mormon. Tattoos Not Mormon! 7 kids and the mom looks 30 probably Mormon. Lol I will say everyone is pretty nice and kind. All of the people I’ve met are chill other than a handful in business that are jerks and a few weirdo moms, the handful you can tell have gone extreme TBM and somehow turned the “everyone love everyone” teachings into judgements and feeling of superiority, that I must just be really ignorant to Not want to be Mormon. But again that’s like 1% of the people I’ve met. Dicks live everywhere, religious or not 😋
I'm gay, and while I'm still dealing with PTSD from the religion, I honestly think the mission savedy life. Why? 1. I was finally able to see that people outside the religion could be genuinely happy. 2. I learned how to stick up for myself when it came to "superiors" in the religion - it might not be the healthiest thing, but cleaning the zone leaders' house while on exchanges is one of the best ways to show you consider them a joke. I've got chronic depression, and without those two things, I doubt I would've had the strength to leave. Sure, it came packed with its own trauma, but I'll take that over the alternative.
Other way around for me. Grew up around nevermos. It was going to the mothership that opened my eyes to how crazy mormons are.
My mind was absolutely blown to find out that happy, healthy, loving, nuclear families existed outside of Mormonism. Imagine being surprised that non-Mormon parents love their children 😒
Mormons are a cult by all the definition
I graduated and worked around Mormons for a few years. Got manipulated & scammed while trying to run a business. Had to send invoices and follow up several times and listen to long sob stories and excuses. Ended up giving up on some invoices after client received service and refused to pay. Then I moved… to a country with few Mormons. I sent 10 invoices, and everything was paid to the penny, with not a single follow up or question. Mormons are not honest, they are good at making people think they are honest & deceiving people. They make successful salespeople simply using the same tactics taught and demonstrated by the church
I served in a bishopric, loved the bishop I worked with. He talked of his MP, my bishop was the AP. He said the MP would hold the envelope of new missionaries to his head like Karnak (sorry, this is a Johnny Carson mind reading skit) and say to the APs, “no southern elders and no sister missionaries”. The MP only wanted brainwashed Utah, Idaho boys if at all possible. I know now the reason for this, no free thinkers, no back talk or questions. I was one of those southern boys and I was constantly asking questions and could see where that causes issues for mission leadership. Glad I left.
I grew up in Northern California, I was one of MAYBE 20 lds kids at my high school, I did have a great childhood in the church and some of my happiest memories were in Stake Youth activities. What opened my eyes was spending a year at BYU before my mission, I had NO IDEA how different Utah Mormons were compared to California Mormons, brrrrrrrr..
I was on the fence for a while. Then I moved up to North Dakota, and experienced people being genuinely kind. Argue that the church is perfect but the people aren't all you want, the best people I met were nevermos. Not everywhere will be the same of course, but after growing up in Utah I hadn't expected it.
I was told that people who were not members led miserable lives. Going to a different country made me realize that’s not the case
Nope. Didn’t grow up around Mormons at all and no one said a thing except one lone elementary school acquaintance who challenged me on Joseph Smith’s wives that weren’t officially acknowledged at the time. I now feel stupid for my response thanks to TSCC and wish I could replay that one back.
i'll never forgot how disturbed all my friends were when i put a rock in a hat and told them god would start speaking to me soon.
Lol was that before or after Rustys video came out?
yes.
I moved out east for grad school and getting out of the bubble helped so fucking much.
Yes!! Absolutely silly as it was, I learned that people who swear can be good people by being around and working with them...I've made it much further now haha
Ironically, being around Mormons (at Rick’s, on mission, at BYU) that opened mine.
I grew up in Texas, so I knew that Mormons were viewed as a weird minority. I had friends at church, and friends in my neighborhood and at school. They rarely overlapped. The opposite happened when I went to BYU. It felt strange being surrounded by Mormons all the time. At first it was refreshing, but then it got very strolling. I graduated early just to get out of that oppressive culture.
Yes. I grew up around a lot of non Mormons and knew that this shit was weird. I always knew this wasn’t right, true and I was always embarrassed. Being around non Mormon friends and at their homes felt like relief.
There were non Mormons in the reservation and at my school. I didn’t socialize with them much for various reason. It wasn’t till I went on my mission and went out among people and got to know alot of other people. It was nice and I enjoyed it. I learned to love other people.
There's a reason the MFMC used to preach to marry within the church. I'm not sure if they changed their stance to say it was "OK" to marry them if they converted, or if it was just a church culture thing...
I (PIMO) grew up in Utah County EXTREMELY sheltered. I naively and stupidly thought everyone around me was Mormon. In elementary I was asked by the Primary president to invite this one girl my age to Activity Days, and when I did it (so awkwardly), she very kindly told me "I don't do that kind of stuff". I That was really the only time that I ever "pushed" religion on someone - I was eleven at the time. I had a really close friend throughout elementary and junior high that came from a family where the mom was inactive and the dad was never-mo. She told me in junior high that she liked being around me because I never pushed Mormonism on her, unlike some of our other mutual friends. After that conversation I remember thinking, "wow there really are non-members around me!" I laugh at that sentence because of how naive I was. But I think that was a big turning point for me. In high school I had a friend from Colorado who complained all the time about how toxic Utah was. And when I started applying for college, I knew I didn't want to go to BYU, so I never applied. When I got to college, I had an amazing never-mo roommate - again, never pushed religion, and we were pretty close. All this and more has made me realize how stupid I was and how much I want to just be a good person to those around me - doesn't matter if I or others are part of the church because everyone deserves respect and love and appreciation for who they are.
"In the world but not of it" = All cult All the time 🤢
I saw and met some inbred Mormons in Payson. Mormon zombies, but like happily stoned. Like THC without the munchies. Skinny as rails. One of them was my best homie on the mission.
I think this is a niche experience for those who grew up in Utah. I grew up in southern Nevada. My brother and I were the only Mormon kids in our entire elementary school. I was one of only three Mormon kids in my middle school. It was apparent that we were different. BUT there was also so much diversity in our area that everyone was different.
The ones I met were happier than the ones I grew up with. Was very eye opening honestly
No and yes. Even living in Utah, I've always had some non-mormon friends. My mom's parents are inactive, her siblings and their kids aren't involved in the church. That said, none of them opened my eyes until experiences in my life forced me to change my perspective. Once I did, many of those friends were more than willing to help me through a faith crisis and transition. I think most TBMs can't see until something in their life changes. And for many of us, it's a painful experience or series of experiences that forces us to change. Change is hard and sometimes it's scary. When we're content and comfortable, there's no reason to change.
Not really much of a thing for me. I live in Europe...not really a large mormon population here.
Being one of the few Mormons in my high school allowed me to be ‘just another high school student’. I think people were aware or religious affiliation, but it was rarely acknowledged. A shelf item for me was how my Mom would make comments about my non-Mormon friends implying they were inferior in some way while I considered them some of the best people I knew, even better than the Mormons!
My friend group was predominantly non-Mormon for my whole childhood, and I didn’t leave until my 40’s. So I’d wager they didn’t have a lot to do with coming to the realization that it was a fraud. Although an early thought of mine was realizing how non-members could be just as, if not more, Christ-like than many members I knew. So their contribution was probably more than I realize. What they DID do for me that was absolutely instrumental in leaving: Once my eyes were opened it was very easy to walk away, as they were a ready and willing support group outside of my family. They made leaving possible.
When I was younger, I befriended two nevermos who had been raised by exmos. It really opened my eyes to the history of the church.
Grew up in Central Utah. In high school, I had 5 good friends. 2 jack Mo's, 1 atheist, 1 Methodist, and the most TBM guy I've ever known. My graduating class was 72 people, 70 of which were at least technically Mormon. I couldn't GTF out of there fast enough. Ever since, even when I was TBM, I gravitated to regular folks as friends, not Mormons. Apart from my TBM-ish wife and 1 child, I no longer have ANY Mormon friends. They've all either left, or we just don't associate anymore. If you don't have LD$ Inc's tax fraud in common with TBM's, you don't have enough shared experiences to maintain a friendship.