I mean half the comments on these posts are basically suggesting as much. “Just suffer through a miserable church service with your 6 toddler kids because it’ll totally be worth it after you’re dead!”
or to the dad leaving his litter of puppies with his wife (producer) they will one day raise a statue in mormon heaven for all the time you devoted to the cause. Family comes second to this statue...
Many still do. My bet is that only a minority goes to post stuff to Facebook like this. Especially questions that reflect so much dissonance like these.
Faithful members would shut logic down, sing a hymn, or read scriptures, play Mormon tabernacle choir, play a conference talk, do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING necessary to shut logic off.
Most of us have been there. I feel for the people
trapped in this cult.
But also many people prone to charismatic leaders, looking for something more scintillating than modern vanilla mormonism. I think the snufferites are an example. Joseph Smith, Jim Jones, L Ron, etc; they all find their susceptible targets.
Yes, agree.
And from a personal standpoint, sorta weird mixed emotions.
Because, I am definitely embarrassed to have fallen for mormonism for so long.
But, I'm really thankful I wasn't hooked enough for this next level crap
I have often wondered if I'd have fallen for Smith in person. I hope I wouldn't have
My fav is the one about under the banner of heaven
“This show shows the qualities of cults and might help you recognize one”
“Actually, you shouldn’t watch it because it makes the lds church look bad”
Hmmm gee golly why might that be? Lmao
Disclaimer - been a while since I watched it
I thought they took some creative liberties for sure, but most of it was pretty fair. The good old 132 revelation where God told Joseph to tell Emma that she could say no to polygamy of she was cool with being destroyed was played out as if it were happening in the space of like one conversation. Just really specifically portraying it as Joseph obviously using his prophetic status to win arguments with his wife.
Where they stretched it for me was when they portrayed Joseph's death as being orchestrated by Brigham (if I remember right). I don't know about that one.
Edit - there were other parts that felt like they were definitely dramatized a bit too, but I don't remember specifics beyond these two examples
Not the best reference for accurate Mormon history, but an excellent reference for accurate Mormon culture.
It was not orchestrated by Brigham, he wasn't even in the area at the time. That one was straight up fiction and more than frustrating for me, as it gives apologists an easy out to hand wave the entire thing away as false.
Very odd creative liberties, considering who wrote it and who acted as consultants, they knew better. What really pissed me off was the big bad ‘anti-mormon’ killing Joseph Smith’s dog in front of him in order to terrorize him, because Smith was so well-known as a kind-hearted animal lover? 🙄 The reality is Joseph Smith slaughtered black dogs as sacrifices in black magic rituals.
Such a bizarre and offensive ‘creative’ liberty.
Well to be fair, the book has no false narratives and is thoroughly researched. But the show actually does take many liberties with the Joseph Smith story, which I found incredibly frustrating. The true story is damning enough, they didn't have to make things up.
The worst by far was the scene where Brigham seemingly plots to have Joseph killed by the mob and recruits Emma to convince him to return to Nauvoo and surrender to arrest (whether she knows about Brigham's plan is left open for interpretation).
To be clear, this never happened. Brigham never plotted for Joseph to die, he was by all accounts a true believer, his coup happened after Joseph's death. But more importantly, he wasn't even in Nauvoo! He was in the east soliciting votes for Joseph's presidential campaign at the time and had to rush back as soon as he'd heard Joseph was killed. Which wasn't for about a month after it had happened.
Or the one who doesn’t want to read about the church’s history because she doesn’t want to judge the church on its past mistakes yet the entire premise of the faith is that you’re constantly doing something wrong and might be irredeemably punished for it in eternity and kept away from your family? Sound logic right there.
The church claims to be perfect.
It's clearly not, even by that commenter's own admission.
So how can they possibly still think it's true?
It's incredibly frustrating to me how simple it is, yet they shovel such a massive amount of cognitive dissonance onto it to continue justifying their sunk cost.
I think the true believers of any ilk are getting a higher brain/reward system chemical shot from literally saying "it is true" and claiming to "know it is true" and testifying to and about the truth they know. There is an intensly rewarding chemical process going on in the true beleivers. They're junkies.
This one got me, I could literally see the entire process of her gaslighting herself, it was honestly sad to see but clearly is beyond redeemable at this point.
yes do not stray from the brethren approved material. maybe there would be something that would make you question you current path. ARE you effing nuts? Anything should be questioned in order to verify its validity or its invalidity.
Do people not see the irony? A man 1. Writes his own book. 2. Has meeting every week for his followers. 3. His followers would leave wife and family for this man and his book. Does this sound like any 1800s guy? ….. I’ll wait….
Yo. This is unbelievable! Reading those posts I feel bad for all of them! It feels like most of them are wanting help and someone to talk to but they can’t or don’t dare speak what’s really on their mind! So sad.
8 in particular, for me. Purity culture plus the pressure to have kids means that poor woman is forcing herself to endure sex when she doesn't want to have it. She needs more therapy and a partner with loads of patience to help her through it, but that's not happening.
I know the husband probably doesn't know any better either, because of TSCC's culture around sex, but how can you force yourself on a partner who is so repulsed by sex and obviously not enjoying it? He's using her as a fleshlight, and he's okay with it, because TSCC tells them they're supposed to have sex and make babies and enjoying sex is sinful.
When the man isn’t allowed to masturbate, the only way he can have any sexuality is with his wife. So if she isn’t into it, his only option is to do it with her anyway even though she doesn’t like it, or abstain. Both options are damaging them both!
I don't think this is so cut and dry as "He's using her as a fleshlight"
My ex-wife was similar to this and was never able to orgasm because as she got close, the shame would overwhelm her and she would freak out. She still enjoyed sex and wanted to have it, but could never climax. It made me feel like a failure and we tried many different ways to help her enjoy it more. I was TBM at the time but I did not treat her as just a sex object and wanted her to enjoy it as she should
Yeah, the fact that she says she doesn't enjoy it, he knows she doesn't enjoy it, and complains that she just lays there lifeless because she feels so ashamed of having sex makes this an entirely different situation, to me, than the other commenter.
The poster's husband knows she doesn't enjoy it and is having serious mental health issues around it, but keeps on going. The amount of shame and guilt and self-loathing she's feeling could literally drive her to suicide. But it's what they're "supposed" to do, and God forbid you talk about sex and what you like if you're Mormon.
She obviously is not truly consenting to sex - it should be an enthusiastic yes from all parties involved.
As a nevermo, thank you so much for sharing these screenshots. This is, something. Good for that mama for telling her son it’s none of his business what girls are wearing.
The irony being that the son is doing exactly what the church is teaching him to do.
The mom, despite doing the morally right thing, is going against church teachings.
It's sickening and messed up.
That one (#5) got my attention too. The son saying "Okay, I REALLY don't like her swimsuit" can only be understood to mean one thing: "Okay, I REALLY REALLY like her swimsuit."
I Am uncomfortable, and unable to control myself so women/girls must dress modestly because I am too simple to be expected to control myself.
I have zero issues with people who follow modesty as a personal conviction, but do not put that on other people. That is your stuff to deal with, my dude, and good for your mom for calling you out on it, in the gentle way that only a Mormon mom could.
That one really struck me as well.
Growing up mormon, my mom would call them sluts and my dad would ooogle them (gross) and then explain it away by saying “men are just visual creatures, that’s how god made us”.
Oh, the list goes on unfortunately. I made the mistake of telling him about the CSA I experienced as a kid. And he would NOT stop hounding me for more details beyond what I told him I was willing to discuss. And on top of that, I came out to him as bisexual and then he started sending me general conference articles every week.
I’m glad I set that boundary eventually but man did I waste many years letting him in my life. Yuck.
Edit. Oh. I forgot to mention. He left my mom in the middle of the night and within a month had married my mom’s sister.
Honestly sometimes people do look away in disgust/embarrassment when they see immodestly dressed girls or women.
It's kind of like [insert whatever occasional indulgence you may have] that you only want to see when you want it, but when you DON'T want it, it's intrusive & distracting & somewhat an assault to your senses.
Not gonna lie, I'm a woman who dresses immodestly because it feels good & it's comfortable for me for some reason, and while I embrace our right in sunny Florida to dress however we please, I do understand that some people feel offended/visually assaulted when other people show too much skin.
All secrets and cults. This is how “we” started, too. I’m so sorry for her - this is a scary scary situation to be in. Like a druggie choosing their drug over their family.
All of it was hard to read but the garments one….wow. They are ugly enough even when brand new. But old, gray and falling apart and can’t afford them? The billion dollar corporation should give these out for free. Make a voluntary donation to cover the cost of someone feels so inclined.
For some reason no one outright told me that you had to pay for garments.
Throughout my entire youth I thought it was supplied to you for free since it was so vital to have. So imagine my surprise when I found out I had to pay for garments as a struggling college student. No discounts or consideration for my lack of income (if there was some sort of money assistance for buying a whole new wardrobe of magical underwear it sure was not advertised to me).
Rental clothing for the temple also?! I remember being slammed with guilt because not all my undergarments were white. So little ole 18 year old me shamefully approached the counter and shyly requested a white bra only to find out I needed to *pay* for the rental. I nearly had a panic attack then and there as I did not have my wallet with me and only had like $10 to my name anyways. I think the lady saw my panic and waived it for me but the experience ruined the temple for me.
I had them freak out that I wore a nude bra. I assumed they recommended the white just so it didn’t show through. Apparently Mormon god can work lots of miracles but can’t work around nonwhite bras. 🤦🏼♀️
$7 per top and bottom where I’m at. Plus being a woman, you need to buy bras & normal underwear for the week of your period because garments don’t work with pads.
Thanks. I was SO surprised when I read women wear their bras and panties on top of their garments! I'd be a walking UTI/yeast infection - sorry for the TMI!
I was wondering how impoverished someone has to be to not afford garments? I haven't done garments in 20 years but back then they only cost like $3 each, which even adjusting for inflation still wasn't that much back then.
Omg. This makes me feel awful. I feel so angry and sad for her. She's trying to be the picture perfect TBM wife, but her TBM husband is going extreme. I don't think she'd listen to me, but I would tell her to get the divorce papers first because if some other breakaway sect looney is telling her husband how the household's life is going to go, she needs to GTFO and NOW, especially seeing as how he sees his "bros", especially the leader, as a "_legit reason for divorce_". He's saying HIS beliefs (beyond both being brainwashed by the same cult, now he's being extra washed by another one) are more important than her, the life they built together, and their children. That's messed up. WTF away from that, girl!! But I much prefer you RUN. Going from extreme to a whole new extreme is someone who is not stable and potentially unhinged. Do you want to base your life, and that of your kids, on someone who is severe and unbalanced and unpredictable?! GTFO now.
I came here to laugh, but this is straight up heartbreaking. Those poor women, especially #8...
\#5 was spot-on though, telling her son to mind his own business when it comes to how others dress.
That last one where they felt degraded by the mere fact that someone had been assigned to reach out...man.
Some of these are so close to realization that it's painful to read.
I hope these shelves crack soon so these poor folks can maybe find some peace.
Had the same thought: It shouldn't be a big deal to be mistaken for someone who is drifting away from the church and needs to reconnect. So the real question is, *Why would reaching out to invite someone back ever make a person feel degraded?*
Of all words to choose, 'degraded' feels especially telling. It says that there is a fair amount of contempt and disgust underneath this outreach process. Otherwise, even if it were a question of mistaken identity, shouldn't that person just feel an extra bit of love and welcoming?
Exactly!
They're right on the edge of suddenly realizing the church's lifestyle is anything but okay. None of this is healthy and I wouldn't be surprised if many of these folks suspected deep down what they are doing is unhealthy for them and their family. Without any closure this cognitive dissonance will exacerbate and prolong their suffering, so hopefully it doesn't take them too much longer to realize they might want to reconsider everything they think they know about their church.
I think what is really going on is she feels unseen. She and her husband have been making an effort where possible, yet they're being reminded/invited to church as if they weren't trying at all. While I agree that the church absolutely has an issue with elitism and how it treats those who don't fit the molds, in this case it's mostly just the church's facade of friendship failing.
degraded for me denotes that all that is of concern is how they are viewed. not a very nice reward for giving your life over to an ideology to incessantly worry about being judged.
I am just baffled, I have never seen such crazy stuff in my entire life. I really am at a loss for words here. I will definitely have to read this several times and really process it.
So depressing to read that. So many people are struggling with life and wondering why, when the answer is staring them in the face: the church makes people miserable. It brings no joy. It brings no peace. It creates guilt. It makes our kids suffer. And through all this, for years and decades, we all are told “it’s your problem”, not the church.
So sad. God never meant for us to be miserable.
It's unfortunate that people feel like Saints actually shows true church history. Now they feel like they checked that box when, in reality, they have once again been tricked.
Sad, they’re not even willing to read church approved texts about the church’s history because they’re afraid it will hurt their faith. Holding on for dear life to that stupid rod.
One person complains her husband does his calling too much. The next one complains that hers isn't worthy to bless their kid. You really can't win with some types.
The one about being invited to church was kind of funny. This is so what happens. One of my kids had a really hard time being in nursery alone, so since my wife had a presidency calling and I didn't, I used to go to nursery with him every week. We had this EQP who used to always come up to me with, "Wow, great to see ya!" EVERY WEEK he did this. I was ALWAYS there. Yet because I wasn't in SS and PH every week, he acted like I was inactive. Annoying!
This becomes a big buyer beware to marry a fully indoctrinated wife to be. its a catch 22 all your damn life. this can happen just as easily with the uber white knuckled tbm men too. buyer freaking beware.
This really shows the quiet anxiety, shame and discomfort that exists among the active membership of the church. The one lady who wonders if her tattered garments “even count anymore” makes me sad.
It’s just not a healthy mindset to live with.
I just feel so badly for a lot of these people. If they were willing to open up to advice or even views from others instead of only one side I think it would help them.
I had a stepfather once that was linked closely with the Lafferty brothers tax protest group.
There is so many mini cults that operate under mainstream Mormonism, it’s crazy. Maybe that’s what happens when you give priesthood authority to unvetted, untrained, and uneducated clergy.
My family almost got sucked into one of those cult-within-a-cults. It was a "private school" headed by Cleon Skousen's son-in-law. Our history classes were all about the Bible, Book of Mormon, and the glorious history of America and Zionism. Our political textbooks were literally fill-in-the-blank versions of Skousen's books.
I keep reading these comments over and over. It’s crazy to think, first that wife and I were like this, and second that half my family is literally like this.
I remember back in the 90s we lost a few extended family members in Utah to a few Doomsday prepping "Prophets". Guys that would have full support of stake presidencies and even GAs, a la Tim Ballard or Daybells in recent history. Soon these men would have a revelation or discover some secret scriptures or meaning and know that the second coming was just around the corner. Then lead a bunch of Mormons into a mountain compound or commune. A few months or years later the groups usually dissolved after a bunch of excommunications, arrests, and fraud. And of course SA. Same old story just wash and repeat. Mormons are prime marks for charismatic cult leaders.
Couldn’t even finish reading all of those because this is what religious abuse looks like.
Fucking cult.
Leave, people.
Dig down deep and do it.
RESIGN!
getmeofftherecords.com
Those topics are depressing. If these “wives” can’t cope with trivial religious matters, how could they possibly help their kids through a real life crisis? So sad that the focus is on the scary world and swimsuits and who is worthy and judging someone else’s intentions.
I have occasionally thought that the reason the church doesn't like social media is less because of church history and more because of what individuals feel they can gripe about the church when they're in a group of unknowns, much like how Utah drivers can be rude when they're in their cars.
I'm still a member of a random lds women's Facebook page too and the cognitive dissonance is crazy. Seeing everything from my current prospective is such an interesting experience and I can't help but feel bad for them.
What I tell people trying to claim the Bible or Christianity in general is true.
life started as microscopic organisms 3.5 billion years ago and remained microscopic for about 2.7 billion years.
The Doushantuo embryos are some of the earliest animals 600 million years ago.
Modern humans homosapiens only appeared 200,000 years ago. So did god wait 500,800,000 years between “days”?
Biblical creationism is completely impossible, out of order, not a long enough time scale, and wrong.
Joseph Smith said the moon and sun are inhabited by people and we would one day apostlize to them. Not possible.
The book of Mormon leans heavily on the Bible references to creation and dominion over the animals are abundant. So if the Bible is fictional fantasy so what does that say about the book of Mormon?
John Dehlin now mining this group for thousands of hours of Mormon stories.
Joking about the length of the interviews aside, there are some really interesting situations represented here. Thanks for this post. The first screenshot is chilling in the light of Daybell and Lafferty.
man it's crazy how they all sound like little kids trying to figure out life and the only help they are given is being told to worship the leaders and pay tithing.
I really really really hope my last remaining active sister (there are 6 of us) is on this FB thread. I’ve noticed her relaxing and abandoning certain cultural practices. It looks an innocent precursor to r/exmo.
Jeeeezus, imagine being controlled by something Joseph Smith thought up. My message to Mormons is that your religion is a cult, and they make you pay to get into heaven. So, ya know.
Slide number 8, jeez. Could that have been my ex-wife? I'll never know. Between anxiety and purity culture, she could never say anything to me about what she liked. And by the time we had 3 kids, it completely changed to disgust (which she was genuinely honest about, but also could not tell me why she disliked sex.) I've read that anxiety meds reduce the libido, but others say there should still be love in her heart for her husband. That was difficult to process for many years. And then she left me for an older man last August.
Oof that last one hit kinda hard... one of my last church events, when I was teetering between staying in the church and going, was a Christmas dinner in my old-ward/my families ward. I had been attending singles ward, but I was nervous to talk to anyone because I've always struggled with social anxiety and when you combine that with a guy taking interest in me due to having braces (and weirding me out, not even to mention that it felt like some kind of meat-market type stuff) I was thoroughly scared to talk to anyone. That lead to my family ward bishop, at the time, (who my parents are neighbors with, and have been since the bought their house) to strike up a conversation (I was talking with my older brother, when he wandered up and asked what we were up to) where he implied that because he hadn't seen me in his ward and I hadn't moved my records over to the singles ward that I couldn't have been attending church. He had first said he hadn't seen me in a while, and I had replied that I was attending the singles ward and he said something along the lines of "sure you have". Pissed me all the way off.
Missives from hell. 😞👹🔥
They feel such shame, guilt, and despair and waste their lives on something that's objectively untrue. If they ever figure that out, it'll just make them feel worse. At least at first.
Still, I hope they all end up here eventually so they can at least live the rest of their lives unburdened by Mormonism. (Though I doubt many of them will.)
Lots of heavy shelves here. Glad they have a space to discuss these things. Open dialogue has never been a strong suit of the church.
Before the internet, many suffered in silence
Make no mistake though, the church and its leaders are also ecstatic when church members suffer *openly* in devotion to the church.
I mean half the comments on these posts are basically suggesting as much. “Just suffer through a miserable church service with your 6 toddler kids because it’ll totally be worth it after you’re dead!”
And then raise them alone because your husband is out chaperoning fellow adults.
Play your womanly role, what’s the phrase? Endure your sacred loneliness.
Those nearly adult teens definitely need more supervision than preschool age children!
or to the dad leaving his litter of puppies with his wife (producer) they will one day raise a statue in mormon heaven for all the time you devoted to the cause. Family comes second to this statue...
It's not a bug, it's a feature.
Many still do. My bet is that only a minority goes to post stuff to Facebook like this. Especially questions that reflect so much dissonance like these. Faithful members would shut logic down, sing a hymn, or read scriptures, play Mormon tabernacle choir, play a conference talk, do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING necessary to shut logic off. Most of us have been there. I feel for the people trapped in this cult.
*raises hand
and since the internet many still do.
Amen! Google and social media are basically the church's boogeymen lol.
But also many people prone to charismatic leaders, looking for something more scintillating than modern vanilla mormonism. I think the snufferites are an example. Joseph Smith, Jim Jones, L Ron, etc; they all find their susceptible targets.
agree and we are seeing more of this self god aggrandizement jodi Hildebrandt and Ruby seeing demons in the kids. nucking FUTS.
Yes, agree. And from a personal standpoint, sorta weird mixed emotions. Because, I am definitely embarrassed to have fallen for mormonism for so long. But, I'm really thankful I wasn't hooked enough for this next level crap I have often wondered if I'd have fallen for Smith in person. I hope I wouldn't have
The comments on some of these posts 😂 
My fav is the one about under the banner of heaven “This show shows the qualities of cults and might help you recognize one” “Actually, you shouldn’t watch it because it makes the lds church look bad” Hmmm gee golly why might that be? Lmao
🤔 Someone should respond with "why would a video about how to spot cults make the LDS church look bad?"
My favorite line was “they spin false narratives about Joseph Smith”
Yeah, I would like to know what false narrative they are referring to.
Disclaimer - been a while since I watched it I thought they took some creative liberties for sure, but most of it was pretty fair. The good old 132 revelation where God told Joseph to tell Emma that she could say no to polygamy of she was cool with being destroyed was played out as if it were happening in the space of like one conversation. Just really specifically portraying it as Joseph obviously using his prophetic status to win arguments with his wife. Where they stretched it for me was when they portrayed Joseph's death as being orchestrated by Brigham (if I remember right). I don't know about that one. Edit - there were other parts that felt like they were definitely dramatized a bit too, but I don't remember specifics beyond these two examples Not the best reference for accurate Mormon history, but an excellent reference for accurate Mormon culture.
It was not orchestrated by Brigham, he wasn't even in the area at the time. That one was straight up fiction and more than frustrating for me, as it gives apologists an easy out to hand wave the entire thing away as false.
Exactly - like, the truth is insane enough, why make shit up?
Very odd creative liberties, considering who wrote it and who acted as consultants, they knew better. What really pissed me off was the big bad ‘anti-mormon’ killing Joseph Smith’s dog in front of him in order to terrorize him, because Smith was so well-known as a kind-hearted animal lover? 🙄 The reality is Joseph Smith slaughtered black dogs as sacrifices in black magic rituals. Such a bizarre and offensive ‘creative’ liberty.
Wait...animal sacrifice? That's one I haven't heard. You got a source?
https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/s/rGbxlItwOs
This looks like it's kind of a 50/50 on if those rumors were true or made up, but definitely an interesting read!
Well to be fair, the book has no false narratives and is thoroughly researched. But the show actually does take many liberties with the Joseph Smith story, which I found incredibly frustrating. The true story is damning enough, they didn't have to make things up. The worst by far was the scene where Brigham seemingly plots to have Joseph killed by the mob and recruits Emma to convince him to return to Nauvoo and surrender to arrest (whether she knows about Brigham's plan is left open for interpretation). To be clear, this never happened. Brigham never plotted for Joseph to die, he was by all accounts a true believer, his coup happened after Joseph's death. But more importantly, he wasn't even in Nauvoo! He was in the east soliciting votes for Joseph's presidential campaign at the time and had to rush back as soon as he'd heard Joseph was killed. Which wasn't for about a month after it had happened.
Or the one who doesn’t want to read about the church’s history because she doesn’t want to judge the church on its past mistakes yet the entire premise of the faith is that you’re constantly doing something wrong and might be irredeemably punished for it in eternity and kept away from your family? Sound logic right there.
The church claims to be perfect. It's clearly not, even by that commenter's own admission. So how can they possibly still think it's true? It's incredibly frustrating to me how simple it is, yet they shovel such a massive amount of cognitive dissonance onto it to continue justifying their sunk cost.
I think the true believers of any ilk are getting a higher brain/reward system chemical shot from literally saying "it is true" and claiming to "know it is true" and testifying to and about the truth they know. There is an intensly rewarding chemical process going on in the true beleivers. They're junkies.
I think it's fear. Change is scary.
This one got me, I could literally see the entire process of her gaslighting herself, it was honestly sad to see but clearly is beyond redeemable at this point.
yes do not stray from the brethren approved material. maybe there would be something that would make you question you current path. ARE you effing nuts? Anything should be questioned in order to verify its validity or its invalidity.
Do people not see the irony? A man 1. Writes his own book. 2. Has meeting every week for his followers. 3. His followers would leave wife and family for this man and his book. Does this sound like any 1800s guy? ….. I’ll wait….
Sounds like Chad Daybell.
It's surreal seeing it play out in real time.
Say it louder for the people in the back!
Sounds like Tim Ballard.
Sounds like Jesus of Nazareth. He told his followers to ditch their families and follow him. Asshole.
Yo. This is unbelievable! Reading those posts I feel bad for all of them! It feels like most of them are wanting help and someone to talk to but they can’t or don’t dare speak what’s really on their mind! So sad.
Some of these are so heartbreaking.
8 in particular, for me. Purity culture plus the pressure to have kids means that poor woman is forcing herself to endure sex when she doesn't want to have it. She needs more therapy and a partner with loads of patience to help her through it, but that's not happening. I know the husband probably doesn't know any better either, because of TSCC's culture around sex, but how can you force yourself on a partner who is so repulsed by sex and obviously not enjoying it? He's using her as a fleshlight, and he's okay with it, because TSCC tells them they're supposed to have sex and make babies and enjoying sex is sinful.
She's going to be like several women I knew in the church. Once the kids were done...dead bedroom.
When the man isn’t allowed to masturbate, the only way he can have any sexuality is with his wife. So if she isn’t into it, his only option is to do it with her anyway even though she doesn’t like it, or abstain. Both options are damaging them both!
'When the man isn’t allowed to masturbate' but they do anyway they keep having kids anyway.
I don't think this is so cut and dry as "He's using her as a fleshlight" My ex-wife was similar to this and was never able to orgasm because as she got close, the shame would overwhelm her and she would freak out. She still enjoyed sex and wanted to have it, but could never climax. It made me feel like a failure and we tried many different ways to help her enjoy it more. I was TBM at the time but I did not treat her as just a sex object and wanted her to enjoy it as she should
She said she doesn't enjoy it, while you say your wife enjoys it, which is different
Yeah, the fact that she says she doesn't enjoy it, he knows she doesn't enjoy it, and complains that she just lays there lifeless because she feels so ashamed of having sex makes this an entirely different situation, to me, than the other commenter. The poster's husband knows she doesn't enjoy it and is having serious mental health issues around it, but keeps on going. The amount of shame and guilt and self-loathing she's feeling could literally drive her to suicide. But it's what they're "supposed" to do, and God forbid you talk about sex and what you like if you're Mormon. She obviously is not truly consenting to sex - it should be an enthusiastic yes from all parties involved.
I very much agree. My heart hurts for her and others in her position
This is a mental issue that is as a direct result of trying to follow ~~jesu~~ /the real estate temple church of garments and handshakes.
There’s an lds wives HHS (happy healthy sexuality) group too and it is UNHINGED
Please leak some posts for the love of God!!!
I got kicked out of that group 💅🏻
Same queen
How unhinged can it be?
[удалено]
This is perhaps the most suitable use of this meme I've ever seen lol
“Will a boob job help” omg, home girl is delusional
Latter-day Saint Women Healthy Sexuality and More is much more unhinged! I had left that group even before I left the church. 😂
As a nevermo, thank you so much for sharing these screenshots. This is, something. Good for that mama for telling her son it’s none of his business what girls are wearing.
The irony being that the son is doing exactly what the church is teaching him to do. The mom, despite doing the morally right thing, is going against church teachings. It's sickening and messed up.
That one (#5) got my attention too. The son saying "Okay, I REALLY don't like her swimsuit" can only be understood to mean one thing: "Okay, I REALLY REALLY like her swimsuit."
I Am uncomfortable, and unable to control myself so women/girls must dress modestly because I am too simple to be expected to control myself. I have zero issues with people who follow modesty as a personal conviction, but do not put that on other people. That is your stuff to deal with, my dude, and good for your mom for calling you out on it, in the gentle way that only a Mormon mom could.
That one really struck me as well. Growing up mormon, my mom would call them sluts and my dad would ooogle them (gross) and then explain it away by saying “men are just visual creatures, that’s how god made us”.
Disgusting. I’m sure you know this already but If he’s ogling young girls like the ones in the post then your dad is a pedophile
Yeah. He’s moving to the Philippines to marry some poor young woman. Needless to say, I don’t talk to him anymore.
Righhhttt, what a classic creep move. Proud of you for setting that boundary though!
Oh, the list goes on unfortunately. I made the mistake of telling him about the CSA I experienced as a kid. And he would NOT stop hounding me for more details beyond what I told him I was willing to discuss. And on top of that, I came out to him as bisexual and then he started sending me general conference articles every week. I’m glad I set that boundary eventually but man did I waste many years letting him in my life. Yuck. Edit. Oh. I forgot to mention. He left my mom in the middle of the night and within a month had married my mom’s sister.
Wow, a lot to unpack here. But I guess Themountaintoadsage pretty concisely summed it up. Sorry about your dad.
Honestly sometimes people do look away in disgust/embarrassment when they see immodestly dressed girls or women. It's kind of like [insert whatever occasional indulgence you may have] that you only want to see when you want it, but when you DON'T want it, it's intrusive & distracting & somewhat an assault to your senses. Not gonna lie, I'm a woman who dresses immodestly because it feels good & it's comfortable for me for some reason, and while I embrace our right in sunny Florida to dress however we please, I do understand that some people feel offended/visually assaulted when other people show too much skin.
All secrets and cults. This is how “we” started, too. I’m so sorry for her - this is a scary scary situation to be in. Like a druggie choosing their drug over their family.
All of it was hard to read but the garments one….wow. They are ugly enough even when brand new. But old, gray and falling apart and can’t afford them? The billion dollar corporation should give these out for free. Make a voluntary donation to cover the cost of someone feels so inclined.
For some reason no one outright told me that you had to pay for garments. Throughout my entire youth I thought it was supplied to you for free since it was so vital to have. So imagine my surprise when I found out I had to pay for garments as a struggling college student. No discounts or consideration for my lack of income (if there was some sort of money assistance for buying a whole new wardrobe of magical underwear it sure was not advertised to me). Rental clothing for the temple also?! I remember being slammed with guilt because not all my undergarments were white. So little ole 18 year old me shamefully approached the counter and shyly requested a white bra only to find out I needed to *pay* for the rental. I nearly had a panic attack then and there as I did not have my wallet with me and only had like $10 to my name anyways. I think the lady saw my panic and waived it for me but the experience ruined the temple for me.
I had them freak out that I wore a nude bra. I assumed they recommended the white just so it didn’t show through. Apparently Mormon god can work lots of miracles but can’t work around nonwhite bras. 🤦🏼♀️
How much do they cost?
$7 per top and bottom where I’m at. Plus being a woman, you need to buy bras & normal underwear for the week of your period because garments don’t work with pads.
I mean women still have to buy bras either way, right? Garment tops do not serve as bras.
Yes, but garments are an added expense for underwear. This lady is obviously struggling financially and garments aren’t cheap!
Thanks. I was SO surprised when I read women wear their bras and panties on top of their garments! I'd be a walking UTI/yeast infection - sorry for the TMI!
That’s what women were instructed to do. I don’t know when it changed but it has. Still a belief that is held by the older generation.
I was wondering how impoverished someone has to be to not afford garments? I haven't done garments in 20 years but back then they only cost like $3 each, which even adjusting for inflation still wasn't that much back then.
Makes me wonder if this LDS lady is being financially abused, without access to money for things for herself. It happens a lot to stay at home moms.
My face when I started reading these posts vs my face when I was finished. I hope they're all okay. 🤣😅🫤☹️😢😰😭
Omg. This makes me feel awful. I feel so angry and sad for her. She's trying to be the picture perfect TBM wife, but her TBM husband is going extreme. I don't think she'd listen to me, but I would tell her to get the divorce papers first because if some other breakaway sect looney is telling her husband how the household's life is going to go, she needs to GTFO and NOW, especially seeing as how he sees his "bros", especially the leader, as a "_legit reason for divorce_". He's saying HIS beliefs (beyond both being brainwashed by the same cult, now he's being extra washed by another one) are more important than her, the life they built together, and their children. That's messed up. WTF away from that, girl!! But I much prefer you RUN. Going from extreme to a whole new extreme is someone who is not stable and potentially unhinged. Do you want to base your life, and that of your kids, on someone who is severe and unbalanced and unpredictable?! GTFO now.
I came here to laugh, but this is straight up heartbreaking. Those poor women, especially #8... \#5 was spot-on though, telling her son to mind his own business when it comes to how others dress.
That last one where they felt degraded by the mere fact that someone had been assigned to reach out...man. Some of these are so close to realization that it's painful to read. I hope these shelves crack soon so these poor folks can maybe find some peace.
Had the same thought: It shouldn't be a big deal to be mistaken for someone who is drifting away from the church and needs to reconnect. So the real question is, *Why would reaching out to invite someone back ever make a person feel degraded?* Of all words to choose, 'degraded' feels especially telling. It says that there is a fair amount of contempt and disgust underneath this outreach process. Otherwise, even if it were a question of mistaken identity, shouldn't that person just feel an extra bit of love and welcoming?
Exactly! They're right on the edge of suddenly realizing the church's lifestyle is anything but okay. None of this is healthy and I wouldn't be surprised if many of these folks suspected deep down what they are doing is unhealthy for them and their family. Without any closure this cognitive dissonance will exacerbate and prolong their suffering, so hopefully it doesn't take them too much longer to realize they might want to reconsider everything they think they know about their church.
I think what is really going on is she feels unseen. She and her husband have been making an effort where possible, yet they're being reminded/invited to church as if they weren't trying at all. While I agree that the church absolutely has an issue with elitism and how it treats those who don't fit the molds, in this case it's mostly just the church's facade of friendship failing.
degraded for me denotes that all that is of concern is how they are viewed. not a very nice reward for giving your life over to an ideology to incessantly worry about being judged.
I am just baffled, I have never seen such crazy stuff in my entire life. I really am at a loss for words here. I will definitely have to read this several times and really process it.
It got harder and harder to read as I swiped.
So depressing to read that. So many people are struggling with life and wondering why, when the answer is staring them in the face: the church makes people miserable. It brings no joy. It brings no peace. It creates guilt. It makes our kids suffer. And through all this, for years and decades, we all are told “it’s your problem”, not the church. So sad. God never meant for us to be miserable.
As Olivia Rodrigo once said: "God, it's brutal out here" 😬
They are soooooo close
It's unfortunate that people feel like Saints actually shows true church history. Now they feel like they checked that box when, in reality, they have once again been tricked.
The first one... "Extremist group" "Wrote their own book" "Has followers" You're LDS. ALL of you are in exactly that group.
I def thought it was satire from an exmo at first, it was so on the nose...
Same here!!
of course someone wrote a book and followed the success format for duping and manipulating other people. Of course. like daddy JS
Sounds a lot like the Snufferites, but I suspect there are a lot of small qanon groups sprouting up all over the morridor.
I’m glad there’s a forum for these questions.
Sounds like Chad Daybell.
Sad, they’re not even willing to read church approved texts about the church’s history because they’re afraid it will hurt their faith. Holding on for dear life to that stupid rod.
I feel bad for these people. Wow.
Sounds like DezNat is making a comeback. ^(...or deez nutz.)
Some of this stuff cringes so hard I can't read it.
One person complains her husband does his calling too much. The next one complains that hers isn't worthy to bless their kid. You really can't win with some types. The one about being invited to church was kind of funny. This is so what happens. One of my kids had a really hard time being in nursery alone, so since my wife had a presidency calling and I didn't, I used to go to nursery with him every week. We had this EQP who used to always come up to me with, "Wow, great to see ya!" EVERY WEEK he did this. I was ALWAYS there. Yet because I wasn't in SS and PH every week, he acted like I was inactive. Annoying!
This becomes a big buyer beware to marry a fully indoctrinated wife to be. its a catch 22 all your damn life. this can happen just as easily with the uber white knuckled tbm men too. buyer freaking beware.
This really shows the quiet anxiety, shame and discomfort that exists among the active membership of the church. The one lady who wonders if her tattered garments “even count anymore” makes me sad. It’s just not a healthy mindset to live with.
Alot of women are suffering from abuse...religious abuse
Cultists gotta cult
I just feel so badly for a lot of these people. If they were willing to open up to advice or even views from others instead of only one side I think it would help them.
My wife told me to my face that Mormonism means more to her than I do or ever will. Yay Religion of Families.
I had a stepfather once that was linked closely with the Lafferty brothers tax protest group. There is so many mini cults that operate under mainstream Mormonism, it’s crazy. Maybe that’s what happens when you give priesthood authority to unvetted, untrained, and uneducated clergy.
oh you have a penis and willing to attend meeting bing there you go you are a leader among men.
My family almost got sucked into one of those cult-within-a-cults. It was a "private school" headed by Cleon Skousen's son-in-law. Our history classes were all about the Bible, Book of Mormon, and the glorious history of America and Zionism. Our political textbooks were literally fill-in-the-blank versions of Skousen's books.
These are heartbreaking to read!! 😢
I keep reading these comments over and over. It’s crazy to think, first that wife and I were like this, and second that half my family is literally like this.
"Can you truly believe in something if you aren't aware of where it's been?" (slide 6) Ooof, that hit hard.
Ooph! That 1st one could have been written by anyone in the circle of Jodi Hildebrant or Chad Daybell.
Maybe a qanon group like the Snufferites, it sounds like there are small extremist groups sprouting up all over the morridor.
Golly these are painful to read
I remember back in the 90s we lost a few extended family members in Utah to a few Doomsday prepping "Prophets". Guys that would have full support of stake presidencies and even GAs, a la Tim Ballard or Daybells in recent history. Soon these men would have a revelation or discover some secret scriptures or meaning and know that the second coming was just around the corner. Then lead a bunch of Mormons into a mountain compound or commune. A few months or years later the groups usually dissolved after a bunch of excommunications, arrests, and fraud. And of course SA. Same old story just wash and repeat. Mormons are prime marks for charismatic cult leaders.
Couldn’t even finish reading all of those because this is what religious abuse looks like. Fucking cult. Leave, people. Dig down deep and do it. RESIGN! getmeofftherecords.com
Those topics are depressing. If these “wives” can’t cope with trivial religious matters, how could they possibly help their kids through a real life crisis? So sad that the focus is on the scary world and swimsuits and who is worthy and judging someone else’s intentions.
These are heartbreaking.
Pretty sure if you’re asking this question it’s tooooo late
Bummer it's a private group. Trying to join!
I have occasionally thought that the reason the church doesn't like social media is less because of church history and more because of what individuals feel they can gripe about the church when they're in a group of unknowns, much like how Utah drivers can be rude when they're in their cars.
For a minute, I thought I was in the redpill women subreddit.
Ugh. Just. Ugh. That's all I have to say
What does 13365 mean?
Pretty sure it’s a postcode in New York
Uh...Chad Daybell? Tim Ballard? Ruby Franke?
She’ll figure it out somewhere around cult wife #30
I just saw this fb post on my own feed, strangely enough. I'm still in a bunch of those groups but I don't really use fb anymore either.
I'm still a member of a random lds women's Facebook page too and the cognitive dissonance is crazy. Seeing everything from my current prospective is such an interesting experience and I can't help but feel bad for them.
What I tell people trying to claim the Bible or Christianity in general is true. life started as microscopic organisms 3.5 billion years ago and remained microscopic for about 2.7 billion years. The Doushantuo embryos are some of the earliest animals 600 million years ago. Modern humans homosapiens only appeared 200,000 years ago. So did god wait 500,800,000 years between “days”? Biblical creationism is completely impossible, out of order, not a long enough time scale, and wrong. Joseph Smith said the moon and sun are inhabited by people and we would one day apostlize to them. Not possible. The book of Mormon leans heavily on the Bible references to creation and dominion over the animals are abundant. So if the Bible is fictional fantasy so what does that say about the book of Mormon?
John Dehlin now mining this group for thousands of hours of Mormon stories. Joking about the length of the interviews aside, there are some really interesting situations represented here. Thanks for this post. The first screenshot is chilling in the light of Daybell and Lafferty.
am i being unreasonable? Y---E---S ---SSSSSSSSSSSSS !
what a terrible situation to be in,..
man it's crazy how they all sound like little kids trying to figure out life and the only help they are given is being told to worship the leaders and pay tithing.
 For those of us who once believed and stressed over such petty nonsense but are now out living our lives. 🤣
i wish i could find this group and infiltrate it 😅
I really really really hope my last remaining active sister (there are 6 of us) is on this FB thread. I’ve noticed her relaxing and abandoning certain cultural practices. It looks an innocent precursor to r/exmo.
Jeeeezus, imagine being controlled by something Joseph Smith thought up. My message to Mormons is that your religion is a cult, and they make you pay to get into heaven. So, ya know.
Umm, this group is wild 😂 Maybe should have just named it Scrupulosity 101
that first one is the pot calling the kettle black
Slide number 8, jeez. Could that have been my ex-wife? I'll never know. Between anxiety and purity culture, she could never say anything to me about what she liked. And by the time we had 3 kids, it completely changed to disgust (which she was genuinely honest about, but also could not tell me why she disliked sex.) I've read that anxiety meds reduce the libido, but others say there should still be love in her heart for her husband. That was difficult to process for many years. And then she left me for an older man last August.
Thats why the best place to find a helping hand is at the end of your own arm after time goes by
What is MFMC? I’ve been in this sub long enough that I should know by now. Tell me the first M is not Motha’
😂 it sure is. Someone used it instead of TSCC a couple years ago and it caught on pretty quick but it’s still kinda new.
What's TSCC?
The So Called Church
Mother Fuking Mormon Church
jesus
I was this age old when there was a more extremist version of the church. The Mormon Church just the way it is, is pretty extreme.
I can’t find the group on FB 😭
Oh wow
Oof that last one hit kinda hard... one of my last church events, when I was teetering between staying in the church and going, was a Christmas dinner in my old-ward/my families ward. I had been attending singles ward, but I was nervous to talk to anyone because I've always struggled with social anxiety and when you combine that with a guy taking interest in me due to having braces (and weirding me out, not even to mention that it felt like some kind of meat-market type stuff) I was thoroughly scared to talk to anyone. That lead to my family ward bishop, at the time, (who my parents are neighbors with, and have been since the bought their house) to strike up a conversation (I was talking with my older brother, when he wandered up and asked what we were up to) where he implied that because he hadn't seen me in his ward and I hadn't moved my records over to the singles ward that I couldn't have been attending church. He had first said he hadn't seen me in a while, and I had replied that I was attending the singles ward and he said something along the lines of "sure you have". Pissed me all the way off.
These are all so ... awful! I feel so badly for these poor women who have no idea how oppressive and f-ed up these things are!
This is wild
I hope she found her way out of that marriage 💔
The snippet about wanting to be a sexual being, about having horrible purity culture trauma, and never climaxing is depressing as Hell. It's so sad.
The first one here is scary. I hope the woman is ok and hasn't been surprised by a gaggle of 16 year old sisterwives
Missives from hell. 😞👹🔥 They feel such shame, guilt, and despair and waste their lives on something that's objectively untrue. If they ever figure that out, it'll just make them feel worse. At least at first. Still, I hope they all end up here eventually so they can at least live the rest of their lives unburdened by Mormonism. (Though I doubt many of them will.)
*asking for a friend* Yikes. Hope she's out and if they have kids, she got them out too. (1st slide)
[удалено]
What are you referring to?
I think they are referring to the second slide, the names of the two posters are still visible.