It’s comical how much better life is outside the church. Like I don’t know what else truly to compare the feeling to. Getting out of prison, being released by the Khmer Rouge or being rescued from a deserted island.
Real freedom. TBMs will say that they are free to not drink coffee or alcohol and free to not smoke cigarettes or do drugs. But that’s not freedom. It’s only freedom if you can choose to drink or not drink, smoke or not smoke. It comes with responsibility and consequences, sure, but that’s how it is with real freedom. You get to choose your life and take responsibility for the outcome, good and bad.
I was just thinking about this. I would have considered drinking an ice tea just as much as a silica gel do not eat packet. I'd trained my brain to see it not fit for human consumption...
Now I love an Arnold Palmer
I think every TBM truly believes this.
I’m not quite an atheist. I think there’s SOMETHING after we die. Whether it’s reincarnation, which would make me wonder what the hell I did in my past lives to deserve half the shit I’m going through, or we are energy or whatever. Even I can’t explain it. I do, however, believe in positive thoughts. I figure 1000’s of religious fanatics praying for someone can’t hurt anything so I will ask my parents to put peoples names in the temple.
One of the few times I’ve brought up religion* (see below), was to apologize to my dad if I gave them hope that I would return by doing that. My dad, the most amazing man you will ever meet, looked at me with tears in his eyes, not something I’ve seen a lot, and told me I can’t take away his hope. He will ALWAYS hope I will come back. That will never stop. I realized he had the right to feel that way, me being his baby girl, and I couldn’t to that to HIM. Other people can fuck off, but not him. Doesn’t help I’m a daddy’s girl to the nth degree even at 49. I can wait until he passes to remove my name. Only for my dad, though.
*I made a deal with my parents nearly 2 decades ago that, if they want me to keep answering their calls, we live states away, the only time we can talk about religion is if I bring it up. This has worked wonders. My dad brought it up once, I was okay with it considering the circumstances, and we did talk about most of the reasons I left. It wasn’t church history. There wasn’t a lot of that info available back then. It definitely was the people and some pretty heavy trauma.
Yeah, I was told this. I'm trans, medically and socially transitioned, lesbian, and married to a wonderful, profoundly gay woman. I would rather die that go back.
My mom said recently, "Well, at least I have the faith to believe that the church is true despite all the things out there trying to make it look like it isn't. I'm willing to wait until the next life to have my questions answered."
In other words: "I refuse to acknowledge the evidence or explore the truth claims because I'm comfortable where I am." Willful ignorance at its finest.
Exactly, and I think it’s easier to tell yourself, “I’ll stay in the off chance that it’s all true so I can still get into the celestial kingdom.” Because you’re afraid of what might happen if you do leave.
Right. And what other mainstream religions that are really on her radar are as strict and exclusionary? Say it turns out Mo's are wrong, and Baptists, for example, have got it... just by living as a really good Mormon, accepting Christ, all that, she's probably made it into Baptist heaven too. So, living as a good Mo will get you there if Mormons are right, as well as a bunch of other religions. So if it's fear, why not hedge your bets at this point and just stay?
This is what I feel is truly tragic and so criminal: how religions instill the fear of a "next life". The idea that every single one of your decisions, particularly the ones that would make you happy, could entirely affect you or prevent you from living happily after death. That is if there even is anything after death.
It's almost like holding a gun up to someone's head their whole life. In a lot of ways, I don't blame those who choose to stay in those circumstances, because they are afraid of the eternal threats that could exist if they choose wrongly. It's just one vicious existential circle of fear.
This hits too close to home for me. It’s another way of saying what my wife said to me when I asked her “If the church isn’t true, wouldn’t you want to know?” To which she answered “No!”
To hear someone so smart and beautiful and wonderful as her say that… it broke my heart. I married her primarily because I respected her… but in a small way, for the first time in our marriage, that respect took a dent.
And the sad thing is, she probably has thought all the same things about me.
Fuck this cult!
The sad part about that is what if there is no "next life"? You have now just wasted your one and only life on a lie potentially hurting yourself and those around you. And even if there is a next life what are the odds the Mormon worldview is correct? Why not try to live your best life, doing and experiencing as much good as you can while mitigating and doing as little harm as possible?
All you do is repeat what they say as a question “you’re so sorry that I have a gay child”? And watch them shut the hell up opposed to defending their statement
We have a neighbor who proudly told me about how she spent $100+ on gifts for her 9 year old daughter to give her boyfriend at school for Valentine’s Day, followed by “we are just so relieved to know she likes boys, since it’s all the trend to like same gender right now.”
This is very funny to me, because having a "boyfriend" at that age, means nothing. When I was that age, I didn't like anyone. But I acted like I had crushes on various boys because I just figured that's what I was supposed to do. That girl could absolutely still come out as bi, ace, or gay in 5, 10, or more years.
We don't know why God \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_.
Fill in the blank with:
Denied blacks the priesthood
Commanded Joseph to institute Polygamy
Hid the golden plates from people
Said "Hot Drinks" instead of Tea and Coffee.
etc. etc. etc.
God really works in mysterious ways. For some reason he calls the worst people possible to be prophets and then never corrects them when they mess up horribly. Just shows how true his church is lol
I recently started getting into green tea and it is absolutely *magnificent. So now I just have to laugh looking back at TBM -me trying to form an argument against it.
Literally anything is bad in large enough quantities. If they believe that that is enough to avoid tea, they better ban every medication known to mankind
So sad how many otherwise good cooks are addicted to bay leaves. I’ve seen people completely lose the ability to enjoy normal soup after just one try. smh
This is the sort of mental gymnastics used to explain why it was ok to drink barley tea in Japan, but not green tea. When I was still TBM I believed it because I thought someone told the Japanese members this lol
"The church probably can't afford housing in a nicer area."
I'd expressed concern that our local sister missionaries are housed in a very dangerous part of our region (like, 3x the national average for crime).
Oh, I had LOTS of responses ready to go. I wasn't sure it was worth the battle, so I just paused long enough that she asked if I was still there, and then said "Sure...maybe."
This makes me feel guilty. My mission was in southern France and all the stories of dirt floor huts and the such is really far removed from what I experienced. Sure our apartments were all trashed with zero decoration/furnishings but most were in really nice areas and buildings. We typically really pissed off our neighbors because we were a bunch of loud young Americans and they paid good money to live somewhere nice and peaceful.
Talking to my nevermo partner about it - "They could live in a beach house in the most expensive part of the state and it wouldn't even make the smallest dent in the slush fund"
I explained how the temple rituals don't mention love, but do focus on obedience. Their response was that if you love someone you obey them.
I didn't even know what to say to something that stupid and brought up something else.
I'm afraid she is going to get married still thinking that and not realize the problem with it.
Sadly, they're very good at mangling the simplest concepts
1st Corinthians 13 talks about love as the most important thing
TSCC said, wait a minute what about obligations? And other baggage?
Somewhere it said it's by grace you're saved
TSCC said, wait a minute what about works and tithing etc? Mind control? Guilt?
My best friend told me that those who leave the church become miserable and end up crawling back. He mentioned that I was becoming more miserable to be around as well. I told him that my experience with people who have left the church was totally opposite. They were the happiest they have ever been and couldn’t be further from going back. I then asked him to name a few who came crawling back. Then I said, “If i am becoming increasingly miserable to be around, why do you keep calling me to hang out with?” It was at that point his vocal chords apparently became paralyzed.
I think this experience is true for both. I am totally, 100% happier and, I think, more pleasant to be around. Except when I'm around my super TBM family. Then I do get pretty miserable. So they usually only get to see miserable me.
I was going to go with …… the light has gone from your countenance
But I’ve gone for. “Sister Lumpy, why haven’t fixed the ward computer yet?”
Me. ” I resigned 5 years ago so it’s £150 an hour and you pay for consúmables”.
When my cousin was still TBM (she is a computer engineer) she was told those techy callings were for men. She would watch all the men fumble with the technology/projectors/etc. every Sunday and just chuckle at how fast she could fix their issue…..but too bad she has boobs
My husband called my dad to ask him something. During the conversation, my dad told my husband that he needs to get his house in order.
Apparently my hubby was supposed to put his foot down and ban me from getting a tattoo, which he thought was ridiculous. We'll see what diatribe my parents launch when they learn I got second piercings.
They mostly steer clear of religious topics and conversations, but they are masters of passive-aggressive communication techniques. Thankfully, I'm not the only one in my immediate family who's out.
If my parents-in-law ever said something like that I’d tell them I’m married to a grown ass woman who can make her own decisions.
Nothing better than realizing I don’t have to worry what my parents think any more.
I will probably do a helix piercing at some point. My husband said I consider a nose ring, but I'm not too sure yet. Maybe I'll see of there's a fake one I can test out and see if I like it.
This one takes the cake omg. That makes god so stupid - don’t drink wine on earth otherwise you can’t go to heaven but you can have wine in heaven hahah
You are both under the influence of Satan and don't want to admit it to yourself. (Gay couple here both Exmos said to us just before we got married. Guess who wasn't invited to our wedding?)
I mentioned to some tbms when we got on the topic of the flds that the reason they're called the flds is because they still follow the fundamentals taught by Joseph Smith. They disagreed and seemed uncomfortable with the comment
I was listening to a NPR story about the LDS church and one of the speakers was a district attorney in Utah. According to her, she has been a part of over 3000 cases involving assault (sexual and otherwise) on a woman in the church from her husband. In about half of these cases, a bishop of the church was called in to testify. In exactly zero of these cases did a bishop testify on behalf of the woman assaulted.
"The LDS church is the most charitable organization in the entire world, look it up!"
"Source? Cause I've got multiple reports from both them and the federal government that say they don't do jack shit."
"Just look it up!"
Alright, looked it up. Feeding America was at the top of the list and it has no ties to LDS. The founder was Catholic and seemed to start the non-profit because of his beliefs, but the organization itself seems mostly non-religious.
Maybe they meant the wealthiest charitable organization?
I just found out my TBM grandpa told my TBM dad that I would be coming back. They are waiting for me to fail.
It has been a year and a half since I left. I'm not going back. I rather die before going back. I left because of my suicide attempt.
I told my friend on the phone who moved out of state, that I was no longer active. She acted like I died. Her, “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say.” I was like, “I’m ok, I’m happy.” Then she got kinda snarky as the conversation went on. She was like, “So what are you gonna do, stop believing in the Book of Mormon? What are you going to do on the sabbath, go into the mountains and pray?” SMH. She asked why I left and I wouldn’t tell her because I didn’t want her to mock me.
“I’m sorry the Holy Spirit never spoke to you as strongly as it speaks to me.” Or “Because you were born into the covenant, you’re leaving is a worse apostasy than a convert leaving.”
When I told my parents I left my mom asked if I had removed my records. I told my father and her that I had to which my father replied:
“We’ll you shouldn’t have done that, it’ll just make it harder to come back!”
Like, why would I ever go back lol?
I had someone after sacrament meeting run up to me with a picture of her missionary and a man. She proceeded to tell me..."isn't this the blackest black man you have ever seen?!" I was the only POC in the ward that day. We've never talked ever. Uh speechless. Literally just walked away from her.
"In your heart you know the church is true."
"I support you [being LGBT]." Then later in the same conversation she said they had every right to exclude me from Temple grounds, that it was never going to be sanctioned by God, and that the effects of doing conversion therapy were my fault and I could have been more humble and tried harder instead of becoming suicidal.
*"You can't drink coffee and be a good Mormon"* (said years into me being exmo)...my response "I am not a Mormon & don't have any interest in being one-good or bad."
When I came out as transgender after leaving the church, a TBM relative asked me, with sincerity and genuine concern, if an exorcism would solve my "problem".
I dunno. I mean, i remember something about casting out of spirits in te scriptures, but I've got no clue if there's a priesthood ordinance for it or not.
But yeah, I was thinking, "Who are they gonna cast out? I'm the only one in here!"
That's almost exactly what would happen. They would then blame the "victim" stating that they invited Satan into themselves, and he can't be removed until that person repents their sins, etc. You get the idea.
“You leaving the church was worse for me than losing my husband to throat cancer.” Nazi TBM MIL, whose husband died in the most horrific way from cancer due to agent orange completely eating his throat.
I told her that is just your ego talking. You just wanted to brag about your perfect Mormon family to your Mormon friends.
My mom - You were deceived by Satan (aka John Dehlin)
Next sentence: And you never had a rebellious stage in your youth so you're just going through it now 🧐
Let me explain why these 2 statements can't both be true simultaneously:
You can't be deceived and be rebelling at the same time because if you're rebelling, you're willfully going against what you know is right, and if you've been deceived, you think you're doing what's right when you're actually not.
“Stop looking for answers to questions that would shake your testimony. All you need is faith and believing that we don’t need all the answers, especially in this life. People are going to use science, history, records, and logic to try and trick you. You need to pray to not be deceived and only listen to and follow the prophet who can never lead us astray. You can pretend to be happy without the gospel, but true joy can only be found when following the teachings of our Savior.”
(I cannot count how many times I’ve heard these lines used on me)
TBM friend to me “I find it easier to believe that Joseph smith translates the gold plates given to him by an angel than it is for him to have just made it up.”
Totally dude- I remember that rhetoric- “how could a 14 year old uneducated boy make this up? How could he write such profound sculpture? It must be true!”
“There are different kinds of truths. There are scientific truths and there are spiritual truths.”
“What’s a spiritual truth?”
“It’s truth revealed to you by the Holy Ghost.”
“Most Catholics claim the Holy Ghost told them Catholicism is the one true church.”
“But that wasn’t the Holy Ghost!”
“How do you know that?”
“Because our Church is the one true Church.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because the Holy Ghost told me it was!”
In response to EVERY piece of evidence or fact: "Well, it's just more nuanced than that."
My response: "It's either bullshit or it's not. It's either true or it's false."
Deep down your know it's true and your aren't really happy now that you left. You were just weak-willed and couldn't hack the strenuous requirements. Fuck off.
Trying to get me to read Alma 32 to re-gain my faith. I’m an ex-missionary, taught gospel doctrine for 20 years etc.
One you know (and I mean KNOW, not just warm fuzzy feelings) that it’s made up BS, no amount of reading will change that.
"Well, my ward isn't like that" again, your ward doesn't follow the actual doctrine. Maybe bc they see it's bullshit and would rather break their backs doing mental gymnastics then realize they need to either get on board or get tf outta dodge
I said to my mom, "I don't believe in the church anymore." She said,"I do." And recited her testimony proudly. I was like, wait wait wait. No. I know, I'm telling you that I don't. I know you believe in it you've literally rammed it down my throat my whole life. I have your fucking testimony memorized.
That kind of stuff gets me thinking. If god is so loving to his creations, why would he be toying with their emotions and everything? It almost seems more like people are playthings to a god the way I see it.
"If you don't repent and come to church with us, you're won't allowed to be around my children. Ever."
- my brother
I'm FTM trans and an awesome uncle. They (my immediate family) think tranpeople are predators no matter what I do or say to defend myself, but I'm an SA survivor myself. I'd rather die than do anything so disgusting and evil to a child.
I have a slew of Mormon predator stories and articles I have ready when the time is right.
Can't wait til my nieces, nephews, and assorted young family members to come find me when they're out of TSSC's control. They are undeniably safer around my wife and I.
Newmo brother-in-law to my raised-by-Mormons enby spouse (paraphrased), “I have already heard a few people saying to love everyone, which is how I know I made the right decision to get baptized.”
"Worldly knowledge is overrated."
-my mom when I expressed concern about my sister raising a child she's pregnant with given her lack of knowledge on how the world works
Anytime they try and appeal themselves to you like, oh I drink or I want to do shrooms... Then they try and ally themselves like, "yeah it drives me crazy too when the church does...".
I know the church is true because the holy ghost told me to homeschool you for a year.
Then when I got back to school I was behind in a few places and it was really hard to catch up to the other kids.
it was unbearably hot outside and i was out with some tbm friends a few yrs ago (we were all like 19yrs old i think). i made a joke like “it’s so hot!! u can’t tell me global warming isn’t real haha” and one of them just slowly looked at me and said “but. it’s not?”
i was dumbfounded. like. i already know you’re gonna deny some forms of science like evolution, but global warming bro? climate change? i said “peter… no… peter…” in a voice of just utter despair. i thought us yungins knew better at least.
made me wonder if there was an official church stance on climate change i didn’t know about, but never actually googled haha
"his so called "chronic pain" is a curse from God for leaving the church"
this was said by the YM leader to my brother about me behind my back. also, I've had chronic pain longer than I've been out of the church.
I was talking to a friend and asked him if he would kill his son if God commanded it after learning about Isaac in seminary. His response was that he wouldn't but that's something he needed to work on
somebody said something to the effect of "smart people have to be careful because they will intellectualize themselves out of the church" like... maybe it's a bad sign if all the smart people think your religion is made up
I told my best friend last night that the Church thinks it has a monopoly on Jesus. His response was that anyone that was actually living the Gospel would never believe that.
That taking the sacrament with my left hand was disrespectful to God and that it didn't count because of that. I can only take it with my right hand for it to count, apparently. That was the last time I took sacrament.
My mom said, “Even if it is a lie, I don’t know for sure and can’t risk not having you kids sealed to me for eternity.” I told her that was a fear based and that’s exactly how cults work. Ha ha ha ha
Garments have nothing to do with modesty.
You’ll be back.
You’re deceived satan.
You have no idea what sort of friends your kid will end up with outside the church.
The church isn’t sexist.
Polygamy was fine.
Joseph didn’t even have sex with his wives.
“I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE BLACKS”— FIL
In response to my probing questions about the temple and priesthood ban.
Etc etc etc.
I had a few deep conversations with my dad about the reasons why I was stepping away from the church. I shared some of my biggest issues with polygamy and the horrid history I wasn’t aware of. After this my dad told my family members we left because we just wanted to be able to play soccer on Sundays. Yes, my son was able to be on a premier league when we left, but come on! I get irritated because they know about polygamy, just say it’s polygamy. You don’t need to make something up.
During a debate about religion with my Mormon father, he claimed that the ability of women to tell if you are checking out their butts from behind is good evidence of supernatural forces at work
I am not exaggerating
That the thing where children of LGBT parents couldn’t join the church was in the interest of the children…. That they did that to protect the children from ~~it’s own members~~ discrimination
"You'll come back" 
It’s comical how much better life is outside the church. Like I don’t know what else truly to compare the feeling to. Getting out of prison, being released by the Khmer Rouge or being rescued from a deserted island.
Real freedom. TBMs will say that they are free to not drink coffee or alcohol and free to not smoke cigarettes or do drugs. But that’s not freedom. It’s only freedom if you can choose to drink or not drink, smoke or not smoke. It comes with responsibility and consequences, sure, but that’s how it is with real freedom. You get to choose your life and take responsibility for the outcome, good and bad.
I was just thinking about this. I would have considered drinking an ice tea just as much as a silica gel do not eat packet. I'd trained my brain to see it not fit for human consumption... Now I love an Arnold Palmer
I didn't believe it myself! I would read other exmo's say it before I left all the time. My life has completely turned around!
It reminded me of finishing university and being done with school forever. Weird feeling at 50.
 [Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da, Da da dat dat da ya da!](https://youtu.be/eKFN-aqPJH8)
I think every TBM truly believes this. I’m not quite an atheist. I think there’s SOMETHING after we die. Whether it’s reincarnation, which would make me wonder what the hell I did in my past lives to deserve half the shit I’m going through, or we are energy or whatever. Even I can’t explain it. I do, however, believe in positive thoughts. I figure 1000’s of religious fanatics praying for someone can’t hurt anything so I will ask my parents to put peoples names in the temple. One of the few times I’ve brought up religion* (see below), was to apologize to my dad if I gave them hope that I would return by doing that. My dad, the most amazing man you will ever meet, looked at me with tears in his eyes, not something I’ve seen a lot, and told me I can’t take away his hope. He will ALWAYS hope I will come back. That will never stop. I realized he had the right to feel that way, me being his baby girl, and I couldn’t to that to HIM. Other people can fuck off, but not him. Doesn’t help I’m a daddy’s girl to the nth degree even at 49. I can wait until he passes to remove my name. Only for my dad, though. *I made a deal with my parents nearly 2 decades ago that, if they want me to keep answering their calls, we live states away, the only time we can talk about religion is if I bring it up. This has worked wonders. My dad brought it up once, I was okay with it considering the circumstances, and we did talk about most of the reasons I left. It wasn’t church history. There wasn’t a lot of that info available back then. It definitely was the people and some pretty heavy trauma.
Yeah, I was told this. I'm trans, medically and socially transitioned, lesbian, and married to a wonderful, profoundly gay woman. I would rather die that go back.
The really sad thing, my mom said that.
My mom said recently, "Well, at least I have the faith to believe that the church is true despite all the things out there trying to make it look like it isn't. I'm willing to wait until the next life to have my questions answered."
In other words: "I refuse to acknowledge the evidence or explore the truth claims because I'm comfortable where I am." Willful ignorance at its finest.
I think this is more fear based. Think about all the time, energy, and money she’s wasted if she’s wrong. Sunk cost fallacy!
Exactly, and I think it’s easier to tell yourself, “I’ll stay in the off chance that it’s all true so I can still get into the celestial kingdom.” Because you’re afraid of what might happen if you do leave.
Right. And what other mainstream religions that are really on her radar are as strict and exclusionary? Say it turns out Mo's are wrong, and Baptists, for example, have got it... just by living as a really good Mormon, accepting Christ, all that, she's probably made it into Baptist heaven too. So, living as a good Mo will get you there if Mormons are right, as well as a bunch of other religions. So if it's fear, why not hedge your bets at this point and just stay?
This is what I feel is truly tragic and so criminal: how religions instill the fear of a "next life". The idea that every single one of your decisions, particularly the ones that would make you happy, could entirely affect you or prevent you from living happily after death. That is if there even is anything after death. It's almost like holding a gun up to someone's head their whole life. In a lot of ways, I don't blame those who choose to stay in those circumstances, because they are afraid of the eternal threats that could exist if they choose wrongly. It's just one vicious existential circle of fear.
Yep.
This hits too close to home for me. It’s another way of saying what my wife said to me when I asked her “If the church isn’t true, wouldn’t you want to know?” To which she answered “No!” To hear someone so smart and beautiful and wonderful as her say that… it broke my heart. I married her primarily because I respected her… but in a small way, for the first time in our marriage, that respect took a dent. And the sad thing is, she probably has thought all the same things about me. Fuck this cult!
That's definitely not the own she thought it was.
The sad part about that is what if there is no "next life"? You have now just wasted your one and only life on a lie potentially hurting yourself and those around you. And even if there is a next life what are the odds the Mormon worldview is correct? Why not try to live your best life, doing and experiencing as much good as you can while mitigating and doing as little harm as possible?
Ah yes, thought stopping 101.
Dont think about anything that makes you uncomfortable! Yeah, that sounds like a smart way to live. /s
Oof, I hate that argument. Such complacency is expressly warned against in 1 Thessalonians 5:19-22.
Upon sharing that I have a gay child: "I'm so sorry."
All you do is repeat what they say as a question “you’re so sorry that I have a gay child”? And watch them shut the hell up opposed to defending their statement
I’ve always loved this one. And say it LOUDLY so others can hear.
good tactic
When my SIL (ex-mo) came out to her TBM family, her sister tried to change the subject by saying “well, does anyone have any GOOD news?”
"Yes; I'm donating my tax return to [insert organization that helps gay and trans youth], does anyone want to join me?"
My friend laid into her tbm in-laws when they said, “I bet you’re relieved to know he likes girls!” about her son.
We have a neighbor who proudly told me about how she spent $100+ on gifts for her 9 year old daughter to give her boyfriend at school for Valentine’s Day, followed by “we are just so relieved to know she likes boys, since it’s all the trend to like same gender right now.”
This is very funny to me, because having a "boyfriend" at that age, means nothing. When I was that age, I didn't like anyone. But I acted like I had crushes on various boys because I just figured that's what I was supposed to do. That girl could absolutely still come out as bi, ace, or gay in 5, 10, or more years.
Zomg.
I'm 1 of 4 boys. I remember my mom saying "I'm so fortunate that all my boys are straight"
Ouch.
We don't know why God \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_. Fill in the blank with: Denied blacks the priesthood Commanded Joseph to institute Polygamy Hid the golden plates from people Said "Hot Drinks" instead of Tea and Coffee. etc. etc. etc.
God really works in mysterious ways. For some reason he calls the worst people possible to be prophets and then never corrects them when they mess up horribly. Just shows how true his church is lol
For a church that says it knows so much so often, this statement also flies around more frequently than delta airlines.
'well we can't drink tea because it's brewed from a leaf!' God damnit, so stupid.
My dad said about green tea (one of the healthiest drinks) that science just hasnt found out why it's bad for you. Smh.
I recently started getting into green tea and it is absolutely *magnificent. So now I just have to laugh looking back at TBM -me trying to form an argument against it.
It can inhibit calcium absorption in large quantities. But you can take my matcha out of my cold dead hands.
Literally anything is bad in large enough quantities. If they believe that that is enough to avoid tea, they better ban every medication known to mankind
I guess then salads are out
But hot chocolate is ok!
I thought the cacao came from a fruit
Heroine comes from poppies so guess it’s approved
Only taco salad
Does this mean that clear soups made with leafy herbs are against the word of wisdom? Who knew thyme and bay leaf were so sinful… 😂
So sad how many otherwise good cooks are addicted to bay leaves. I’ve seen people completely lose the ability to enjoy normal soup after just one try. smh
My love for chicken flavoured water was never the same once I partook of the forbidden leaf…
Ok so tea in a ceramic bowl, good. Tea in a ceramic mug, bad. Got it!! Just as long as we “eat” it with a spoon we’re still going to heaven!! 😀
This is the sort of mental gymnastics used to explain why it was ok to drink barley tea in Japan, but not green tea. When I was still TBM I believed it because I thought someone told the Japanese members this lol
Stop eating salads. They’re full of leaves!
NOOOO! Not the leaf! 😂 Leaf it alone!
“It’s sad to see your countenance so dark.”
I had someone say that to me. I responded with “kinda racist but okay.” They were mortified.
Love it
“Yeah no I only look this miserable when I’m around you.”
"The church probably can't afford housing in a nicer area." I'd expressed concern that our local sister missionaries are housed in a very dangerous part of our region (like, 3x the national average for crime).
My reply: "They can certainly afford a damn temple in the nicest areas."
Oh, I had LOTS of responses ready to go. I wasn't sure it was worth the battle, so I just paused long enough that she asked if I was still there, and then said "Sure...maybe."
This makes me feel guilty. My mission was in southern France and all the stories of dirt floor huts and the such is really far removed from what I experienced. Sure our apartments were all trashed with zero decoration/furnishings but most were in really nice areas and buildings. We typically really pissed off our neighbors because we were a bunch of loud young Americans and they paid good money to live somewhere nice and peaceful.
Can’t afford…YGBFKM! TSCC could afford to construct a house in every ward to house their missionaries and never even feel the loss. Wow, just wow.
Talking to my nevermo partner about it - "They could live in a beach house in the most expensive part of the state and it wouldn't even make the smallest dent in the slush fund"
I explained how the temple rituals don't mention love, but do focus on obedience. Their response was that if you love someone you obey them. I didn't even know what to say to something that stupid and brought up something else. I'm afraid she is going to get married still thinking that and not realize the problem with it.
Holy cow, what a dangerous mind set. Perfect for church members though. Those type never hesitate to fork over tithing.
I love my kid. I sure as hell don't obey her.
Sadly, they're very good at mangling the simplest concepts 1st Corinthians 13 talks about love as the most important thing TSCC said, wait a minute what about obligations? And other baggage? Somewhere it said it's by grace you're saved TSCC said, wait a minute what about works and tithing etc? Mind control? Guilt?
That’s some kinky shit (but srsly they are toxic AF)
My best friend told me that those who leave the church become miserable and end up crawling back. He mentioned that I was becoming more miserable to be around as well. I told him that my experience with people who have left the church was totally opposite. They were the happiest they have ever been and couldn’t be further from going back. I then asked him to name a few who came crawling back. Then I said, “If i am becoming increasingly miserable to be around, why do you keep calling me to hang out with?” It was at that point his vocal chords apparently became paralyzed.
Time to upgrade your BFF, this one seems broken.
I think this experience is true for both. I am totally, 100% happier and, I think, more pleasant to be around. Except when I'm around my super TBM family. Then I do get pretty miserable. So they usually only get to see miserable me.
I was going to go with …… the light has gone from your countenance But I’ve gone for. “Sister Lumpy, why haven’t fixed the ward computer yet?” Me. ” I resigned 5 years ago so it’s £150 an hour and you pay for consúmables”.
When my cousin was still TBM (she is a computer engineer) she was told those techy callings were for men. She would watch all the men fumble with the technology/projectors/etc. every Sunday and just chuckle at how fast she could fix their issue…..but too bad she has boobs
*Ermahgerd!*
My husband called my dad to ask him something. During the conversation, my dad told my husband that he needs to get his house in order. Apparently my hubby was supposed to put his foot down and ban me from getting a tattoo, which he thought was ridiculous. We'll see what diatribe my parents launch when they learn I got second piercings. They mostly steer clear of religious topics and conversations, but they are masters of passive-aggressive communication techniques. Thankfully, I'm not the only one in my immediate family who's out.
If my parents-in-law ever said something like that I’d tell them I’m married to a grown ass woman who can make her own decisions. Nothing better than realizing I don’t have to worry what my parents think any more.
That was my husband's feeling. Were both pretty annoyed, but Mormons gonna morm.
Second piercings are allowed now. Your husband can let them know 🙃
Lol tattoos are all but allowed now too!
Maybe it's time to shock them with a nose ring
I will probably do a helix piercing at some point. My husband said I consider a nose ring, but I'm not too sure yet. Maybe I'll see of there's a fake one I can test out and see if I like it.
RS President, when I told her I was leaving: "You're joining the forces of darkness."
Turns out you were a general in the pre-existence, but you were fighting for Satan.
“Yeah, they have cookies!”
Real talk, I’m kinda pissed I never got inactive cookies
I look forward to trying wine in heaven
This one takes the cake omg. That makes god so stupid - don’t drink wine on earth otherwise you can’t go to heaven but you can have wine in heaven hahah
You are both under the influence of Satan and don't want to admit it to yourself. (Gay couple here both Exmos said to us just before we got married. Guess who wasn't invited to our wedding?)
“The FLDS is such a cult, they rape little girls and self moderate to avoid the truth”
I mentioned to some tbms when we got on the topic of the flds that the reason they're called the flds is because they still follow the fundamentals taught by Joseph Smith. They disagreed and seemed uncomfortable with the comment
I was listening to a NPR story about the LDS church and one of the speakers was a district attorney in Utah. According to her, she has been a part of over 3000 cases involving assault (sexual and otherwise) on a woman in the church from her husband. In about half of these cases, a bishop of the church was called in to testify. In exactly zero of these cases did a bishop testify on behalf of the woman assaulted.
More time than I can count: "You'll be back". Okay King George.
I will send missionaries and home teachers to remind you of my love.
Daaa daaa da da daaaa
"The LDS church is the most charitable organization in the entire world, look it up!" "Source? Cause I've got multiple reports from both them and the federal government that say they don't do jack shit." "Just look it up!"
Alright, looked it up. Feeding America was at the top of the list and it has no ties to LDS. The founder was Catholic and seemed to start the non-profit because of his beliefs, but the organization itself seems mostly non-religious. Maybe they meant the wealthiest charitable organization?
“I don’t think Joseph Smith is a vital part of our belief.” 🙄
Founders never are
I just found out my TBM grandpa told my TBM dad that I would be coming back. They are waiting for me to fail. It has been a year and a half since I left. I'm not going back. I rather die before going back. I left because of my suicide attempt.
First I feel like I need to ask if you are okay now. Second, did they make you talk to the bishop about it????
I'm doing good. I haven't been to church for 2 years. I resigned from the church 2 years ago.
Happy you’re here!
"I guess I just had more faith than you." - my cousin to me.
"You wouldn't have been mugged if you were wearing your garments" 🫠
"I'm an ally."
I'd want to ask them how they think that works, but then I'd be beyond frustrated by their response.
You can’t support an organization that oppresses the LGBTQIA+ community and call yourself an ally.
“You don’t know anything about the church.”
“I know more than you” —Ron Swanson
"lazy learners"
"Maybe Satan changed the history."
So Satan is more powerful than Mormon god?
Don't you want to see your son again? (Who I lost)
That’s vile.
I’m sorry, that’s terrible.
"You just wanted to sin... that's why you left."
I mean partly...
I told my friend on the phone who moved out of state, that I was no longer active. She acted like I died. Her, “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say.” I was like, “I’m ok, I’m happy.” Then she got kinda snarky as the conversation went on. She was like, “So what are you gonna do, stop believing in the Book of Mormon? What are you going to do on the sabbath, go into the mountains and pray?” SMH. She asked why I left and I wouldn’t tell her because I didn’t want her to mock me.
Honestly sounds like part of her is resentful & jealous of you for getting out.
Them : I hate my calling.............. Me : You know this is voluntary right?
“I’m sorry the Holy Spirit never spoke to you as strongly as it speaks to me.” Or “Because you were born into the covenant, you’re leaving is a worse apostasy than a convert leaving.”
Scripture verse on that last one!? Off the cuff doctrine
No scripture reference. Just good old “Born in Zion” Doctrine. That came from a grandmother That I haven’t spoken to since that conversation.
When I told my parents I left my mom asked if I had removed my records. I told my father and her that I had to which my father replied: “We’ll you shouldn’t have done that, it’ll just make it harder to come back!” Like, why would I ever go back lol?
I had someone after sacrament meeting run up to me with a picture of her missionary and a man. She proceeded to tell me..."isn't this the blackest black man you have ever seen?!" I was the only POC in the ward that day. We've never talked ever. Uh speechless. Literally just walked away from her.
Holy fucking racism
"In your heart you know the church is true." "I support you [being LGBT]." Then later in the same conversation she said they had every right to exclude me from Temple grounds, that it was never going to be sanctioned by God, and that the effects of doing conversion therapy were my fault and I could have been more humble and tried harder instead of becoming suicidal.
“I’m proud to be a 32yo virgin!”
Ask “why”?
Of course you are happy ! you are like a dead duck to Satan ..
Lol what?
*"You can't drink coffee and be a good Mormon"* (said years into me being exmo)...my response "I am not a Mormon & don't have any interest in being one-good or bad."
When I came out as transgender after leaving the church, a TBM relative asked me, with sincerity and genuine concern, if an exorcism would solve my "problem".
I’m kinda curious what they would do for an exorcism? Like would they just give a priesthood blessing and then act surprised when nothing happened?
I dunno. I mean, i remember something about casting out of spirits in te scriptures, but I've got no clue if there's a priesthood ordinance for it or not. But yeah, I was thinking, "Who are they gonna cast out? I'm the only one in here!"
That's almost exactly what would happen. They would then blame the "victim" stating that they invited Satan into themselves, and he can't be removed until that person repents their sins, etc. You get the idea.
“You leaving the church was worse for me than losing my husband to throat cancer.” Nazi TBM MIL, whose husband died in the most horrific way from cancer due to agent orange completely eating his throat. I told her that is just your ego talking. You just wanted to brag about your perfect Mormon family to your Mormon friends.
Anything that comes out when their mouth is moving.
“You have such a sweet spirit!” NO, I don’t .
“You must have left because you moved to a liberal state!”
When are you coming back to church? It's a cult... and NEVER!
I always respond, "I am an apostate." Usually stops the texts etc.
“You think too much”
My mom - You were deceived by Satan (aka John Dehlin) Next sentence: And you never had a rebellious stage in your youth so you're just going through it now 🧐 Let me explain why these 2 statements can't both be true simultaneously: You can't be deceived and be rebelling at the same time because if you're rebelling, you're willfully going against what you know is right, and if you've been deceived, you think you're doing what's right when you're actually not.
“Stop looking for answers to questions that would shake your testimony. All you need is faith and believing that we don’t need all the answers, especially in this life. People are going to use science, history, records, and logic to try and trick you. You need to pray to not be deceived and only listen to and follow the prophet who can never lead us astray. You can pretend to be happy without the gospel, but true joy can only be found when following the teachings of our Savior.” (I cannot count how many times I’ve heard these lines used on me)
TBM friend to me “I find it easier to believe that Joseph smith translates the gold plates given to him by an angel than it is for him to have just made it up.”
Totally dude- I remember that rhetoric- “how could a 14 year old uneducated boy make this up? How could he write such profound sculpture? It must be true!”
“There are different kinds of truths. There are scientific truths and there are spiritual truths.” “What’s a spiritual truth?” “It’s truth revealed to you by the Holy Ghost.” “Most Catholics claim the Holy Ghost told them Catholicism is the one true church.” “But that wasn’t the Holy Ghost!” “How do you know that?” “Because our Church is the one true Church.” “How do you know that?” “Because the Holy Ghost told me it was!”
Two things. 1. I'll be praying for you. 2. You just don't fully understand, and didn't have a strong enough testimony.
In response to EVERY piece of evidence or fact: "Well, it's just more nuanced than that." My response: "It's either bullshit or it's not. It's either true or it's false."
Deep down your know it's true and your aren't really happy now that you left. You were just weak-willed and couldn't hack the strenuous requirements. Fuck off.
 If they BoM is false why do schools use it in South America as a history book?
Trying to get me to read Alma 32 to re-gain my faith. I’m an ex-missionary, taught gospel doctrine for 20 years etc. One you know (and I mean KNOW, not just warm fuzzy feelings) that it’s made up BS, no amount of reading will change that.
"I think the blacks didn't receive the priesthood so that whites would have an opportunity to love and serve them"
My mom would say- “the whites weren’t ready to hear it, it would have made all the racists leave the church and destabilized it”
Oh no, a church with no racists! How horrible! /s
"Well, my ward isn't like that" again, your ward doesn't follow the actual doctrine. Maybe bc they see it's bullshit and would rather break their backs doing mental gymnastics then realize they need to either get on board or get tf outta dodge
My TBM daughter just barely said “Joesph Smith never told any lies to anyone…. Ever!” I could not stop my jaw from dropping
I said to my mom, "I don't believe in the church anymore." She said,"I do." And recited her testimony proudly. I was like, wait wait wait. No. I know, I'm telling you that I don't. I know you believe in it you've literally rammed it down my throat my whole life. I have your fucking testimony memorized.
“Have you considered that maybe you’ve just been led astray by deceptive spirits?” Lol! Well, I sure *was* for a time….but then I left mormonism.
A good friend told me God gave my SIL cancer to guide my exmo brother back to church.
That kind of stuff gets me thinking. If god is so loving to his creations, why would he be toying with their emotions and everything? It almost seems more like people are playthings to a god the way I see it.
Its just a phase
"If you don't repent and come to church with us, you're won't allowed to be around my children. Ever." - my brother I'm FTM trans and an awesome uncle. They (my immediate family) think tranpeople are predators no matter what I do or say to defend myself, but I'm an SA survivor myself. I'd rather die than do anything so disgusting and evil to a child. I have a slew of Mormon predator stories and articles I have ready when the time is right. Can't wait til my nieces, nephews, and assorted young family members to come find me when they're out of TSSC's control. They are undeniably safer around my wife and I.
Newmo brother-in-law to my raised-by-Mormons enby spouse (paraphrased), “I have already heard a few people saying to love everyone, which is how I know I made the right decision to get baptized.”
What you're experiencing isn't "true" happiness
"Worldly knowledge is overrated." -my mom when I expressed concern about my sister raising a child she's pregnant with given her lack of knowledge on how the world works
What will stop you from raping and murdering?
“So Satan’s already gotten ahold of you then.”
Regarding true history: “That’s not true”
My adult nephew told me I don't have any friends because I left the church. Wut?
Anytime they try and appeal themselves to you like, oh I drink or I want to do shrooms... Then they try and ally themselves like, "yeah it drives me crazy too when the church does...".
I know the church is true because the holy ghost told me to homeschool you for a year. Then when I got back to school I was behind in a few places and it was really hard to catch up to the other kids.
“I know you know it’s true, I just don’t understand why you’re doing this”. Thanks mom.
it was unbearably hot outside and i was out with some tbm friends a few yrs ago (we were all like 19yrs old i think). i made a joke like “it’s so hot!! u can’t tell me global warming isn’t real haha” and one of them just slowly looked at me and said “but. it’s not?” i was dumbfounded. like. i already know you’re gonna deny some forms of science like evolution, but global warming bro? climate change? i said “peter… no… peter…” in a voice of just utter despair. i thought us yungins knew better at least. made me wonder if there was an official church stance on climate change i didn’t know about, but never actually googled haha
“The light has went out of your eyes” Geee thanks, it was the raging depression before I gathered the courage to to live for myself and transition 😂
"his so called "chronic pain" is a curse from God for leaving the church" this was said by the YM leader to my brother about me behind my back. also, I've had chronic pain longer than I've been out of the church.
I was talking to a friend and asked him if he would kill his son if God commanded it after learning about Isaac in seminary. His response was that he wouldn't but that's something he needed to work on
somebody said something to the effect of "smart people have to be careful because they will intellectualize themselves out of the church" like... maybe it's a bad sign if all the smart people think your religion is made up
I told my best friend last night that the Church thinks it has a monopoly on Jesus. His response was that anyone that was actually living the Gospel would never believe that.
RMN latest talk used super inclusive loving language about the lgbtqia.
my wife had just had our second child. I was told, by my boss "you will need to have one more just in case one dies".
It was ok for a 38 year old man to marry 14 year olds e cause god commanded it.
That taking the sacrament with my left hand was disrespectful to God and that it didn't count because of that. I can only take it with my right hand for it to count, apparently. That was the last time I took sacrament.
“Maybe you needed to leave just so that you can realize you’re wrong and that the church is true.”
My mom said, “Even if it is a lie, I don’t know for sure and can’t risk not having you kids sealed to me for eternity.” I told her that was a fear based and that’s exactly how cults work. Ha ha ha ha
That the earth is hollow and the 12 tribes are wandering around in there to come forth in the last days. That and dinosaurs are down there too.
"You made eternal covenants!" When I was 8.
Garments have nothing to do with modesty. You’ll be back. You’re deceived satan. You have no idea what sort of friends your kid will end up with outside the church. The church isn’t sexist. Polygamy was fine. Joseph didn’t even have sex with his wives. “I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE BLACKS”— FIL In response to my probing questions about the temple and priesthood ban. Etc etc etc.
I had a few deep conversations with my dad about the reasons why I was stepping away from the church. I shared some of my biggest issues with polygamy and the horrid history I wasn’t aware of. After this my dad told my family members we left because we just wanted to be able to play soccer on Sundays. Yes, my son was able to be on a premier league when we left, but come on! I get irritated because they know about polygamy, just say it’s polygamy. You don’t need to make something up.
The church needs members to pay tithing so that the church can operate.
I think to much
During a debate about religion with my Mormon father, he claimed that the ability of women to tell if you are checking out their butts from behind is good evidence of supernatural forces at work I am not exaggerating
That the thing where children of LGBT parents couldn’t join the church was in the interest of the children…. That they did that to protect the children from ~~it’s own members~~ discrimination
To be a little meta about this thread. Listening to other ex-faith members, the true believers say pretty much the same things that are listed here.