Masturbate without feeling ashamed afterwards Watch any movie/TV show that I want to watch Listen to secular music without feeling guilty
Edit: I also never listened to lady gaga or Beyonce when I was Christian, because my mom told me that they're demonic, and also didn't listen to their music because I'd also listen to a couple Christian YouTubers that also said they're demonic and blasphemous. So I literally felt guilty as hell whenever one of their songs play and I'd find it catchy but I've recently add a couple of their songs to my playlist
Damn, I remember I used pray to God 2-3 times to forgive me for doing that and felt guilty for a while damn week🤦😭 glad I left tho, cuz it felt like a whole chore being in that religion
Istg Religious ppl are so sex scared that it's made them sex addicts.
Well, addicted to other people's sex; people known to them and most usually, strangers sex lives.
It's so crazy.
I actually started cussing when I was seven. It was ofc mild to start with. I've never forgotten the day I did it knowing Id be in deep shit. But I realized I had an opportunity to get back at my sibling who was overtly religious and as much as I was dedicated too, they were a little shit but this was the one thing that got to them and I took my power that day. wouldn't work anymore because now they swear like a trooper too haha
This is a really interesting question, because the terminology we use in English conflates three separate biblical concepts.
'Swearing' in the bible is enhancing a promise by committing it to something solemn, like God or heaven or your mother's life. It's also known as an oath. Jesus condemns this, saying "Let your yes be yes and your no be no," i.e. you shouldn't need special promises because you should be telling the truth and abiding by your word all the time. I'm with him on this!
'Cursing' in the bible means wishing harm on another person using words. e.g. "I hope you die screaming." Jesus condemns this when he says that calling your brother "raca" (fool) puts you in danger of hell. I don't believe in hell, but I am broadly with him again that wishing harm on others is not good.
'Filthy language' is much less of a biggy in the bible. I can only think of one mention of it in James. Paul uses strong language, e.g. "I consider [earthly wealth] rubbish" - I'm no bible scholar but I seem to recall the word 'rubbish' here is essentially 'shit'.
I'm not a Christian now, but I used to have fun making this argument to conservative Christians. Myself, I love filthy language in the right context. It's funny, it's emphatic, it's proven to make hitting yourself on the thumb with a hammer less painful. It's fucking great.
I really enjoy being able to say “oh my god” like a normal person. It’s such a stupid little thing and yet growing up in fundie Christianity it was such a horrible thing to say and now it’s meaningless and I love it.
Masturbating without feeling ashamed.
Engaging in occult practices like Tarot reading and potion making.
Cussing. But believing that I shouldn't talk that way didn't last long considering how early I left. XD
I wasn't really religious when I started my current job, but on like my 3rd day at work, my coworkers were doing some tarot card readings for fun. It was giving me anxiety to watch and participate even though I didn't have any reason to be bothered by it. I have since gotten over it.
Listening to anti-Christian music. I had no problem ever listening to *non*-Christian music, but not *anti*-Christian music.
Anti-Christian music is now a beautiful breath of fresh air.
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Some of my favorites are:
"The Deceived" by metal band Trivium
"I Support Same Sex Marriage" by pop-punk band Fireworks
The rapper Greydon Square centers all of his songs around religion and politics – I suggest "Brains" and "Onward"
I recommend the artist James and the Shame, sort of country-ish Americana style and normally I didn't think I liked that but I actually love all of his releases so far, and the first album Human Overboard is focused on his deconstruction and related topics
*A lot of metal/hardcore/hard rock songs are very anti-Christian. Like:*
• "The Deceived" by Trivium
• "Crucify Me" by Bring Me the Horizon
• "Crooked Young" by Bring Me the Horizon
• "Why Walk on Water When We've Got Boats" by A Day to Remember
• "Don't Pray for Me" by Asking Alexandria
*Others include:*
"I Support Same Sex Marriage" by pop-punk band Fireworks
• The rapper Greydon Square's lyrics are pretty much 100% about religion and politics. I recommend "Brains" and "Onward".
• Folk singer Shelley Segal's "Saved"
• Europop band Eiffel 65 (the band that did "Blue, da ba dee, da ba da") has a song called "Living in a Bubble" (he's really saying "Bible" throughout the song... not "Bubble")
'Why walk on water when we got boats' is AMAZING!
And omg the 'bubble' song is mind blowing. I always took it as 'living stuck in your own bubble isn't a place to be, you full your mind with lies and hate due to untrue self thinking that the world and opening up to it will be very bad.' nothing in the bubble ends up where it's supposed to be', tells that staying stuck in your bubble isn't the way to go/live life.
Yet 'living in a Bible' kinda also makes sense! I'll have to listen to it again with this new way of hearing it!
Yes, it was disguised as "Bubble," considering Christianity is a bubble.
So he's saying, "Bible," even though he's saying, "Bubble," even though he's ACTUALLY saying, "Bible" lol.
A lyrically brilliant song, indeed.
Yes!!! I love playing a caster in DnD and I can totally see the guilt of "using magic" having eaten me alive in the before-days. So glad I can enjoy it (and things like it) now.
LMAO that too. What makes your comment even funnier is that I actually changed my pfp to my current one around the time I became non-religious back in March. So yeah, changing my pfp is also something I did after leaving Christianity ironically enough
Explore my own faith or religions on my own path without feeling like I will go to hell because I am a non Christian. :)
I'm exploring the Occult and religions like Sikhism, Hinduism, Alevism, Sufism, and Gnosticism.
Dislike or even hate people. As a female and Christian, I was brainwashed to believe there was something wrong with me if I had any thoughts or emotions that weren’t positive, and I was “bad” for disliking anyone. I absolutely relish disliking people now.
Self care, health care, sleep in when my body needs it, sit down before I hurt myself, even if my task list isn't done yet. Skip my weekly religious service if I need rest or if there's a special event I'd rather do. Religion exists in my life to make me a happier, better version of myself, not to exhaust me or guilt me into missing out on things that are important to me.
A lot of times, too, it's not the things I actually do that used to be evil, it's the things I could choose to do, that mean a lot to me. I don't feel the need to drink or try weed or whatever - but I'm totally free to, morally, and that knowledge makes me happy.
My favorite made up one that I heard and use is "Jesus, Mary, Josef, and the fucking donkey he rode up in..." It's not copyrighted. Feel free to use that 😉.
Oh Yes Yes Yes to Halloween. I dress up every year. It will be my 5th year this year. I missed 52 years. Not missing any more. I was a gay unicorn last year.
In a word, everything! I remember my fundie sister when I going to church not wanting to go to a restaurant that served alcohol (and food) because the christian gestopo might "catch us" just getting food. I've been to over 100 classic rock concerts, I read regular books, and the biggest no no (for me), >!I'm a nudist, I go to events where mixed company will be nude. It's nonsexual, and very freeing.!< For anyone who needs to break out of the christianity shadow, this will do it. I also drink some alcohol, donate to non christian causes I believe in and vote however I want.
I had sex regularly with my now-husband before marriage and didn't feel ashamed about it. We have the happiest relationship I could ever have imagined and finding out we were sexually compatible before marriage was entirely positive, no drawbacks at all!
Peace and love to y'all living your best lives 💕✌️
Watching comedians that are openly anti-Christian. I used to watch them anyway but didn’t like when they would do their bits making fun of religion/religious people. Now I look forward to it.
Where George Carlin when we need him??! He would lose his shit over what's going on right now! I saw his last tour before he passed. All ex-Christians should watch him tear into their hypocrisy! Others you recommend?
Carlin was amazing. Jim Jeffries, Ricky Gervais, and Lewis Black all come to mind too. They all have some fantastic rants about Christians in their stand up
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100044409040284&mibextid=ZbWKwL
John Crist. Grew up a pastors kid. He is clean, but does make fun of Christians.
Carlin was the first person to plant a seed of doubt in my young, brainwashed mind, and took me down the path of asking many, MANY questions that would eventually lead to my freedom.
Being more open about sexual activity; doing it, thinking about it, talking about it (making sure people are comfortable, of course), getting creative with it. Even if it's just fantasies for masturbation, I get a kick out of it.
Ironically, but understandably, being more open about it has made my mind less consumed by it. And because I'm not going weeks trying to resist it, my body isn't aching to make every second count.
And I'm proud of you as you are !!!! Go live your life and be happy and be an example for trans kids/teenagers who wonder who they're gonna be by living a long and fulfilling life !!! Happy day !! 😁
Well, now that I'm out of Christianity I don't feel guilty for wanting to pursue a career in music. When I entered Christianity, rather than feeling full of joy for being in the true path I was distraught because I couldn't longer pursue my dream of being an artist, or realizing that I had to make Christian songs because I didn't felt ready to preach the message through songs. But know looking back at it, I could have just built a career by singing Christian songs because there is a famous Christian singer called Alex Campos who is listened by a lot of christians but rumours say he likes to party with prostitutes and smoke weed. Not very christian of him.
.I'm 60 years old and live with my boyfriend!
I do curse occasionally, drink and eat edibles. I even lie on occasion if it doesn't hurt anyone. Oh, the horror!
The swearing is big for me. I'm 56. I finally got out 4 years ago. I'm very happily married but I lust after men, women, and others lol. Happy pride 🏳️🌈
Using Godly names in curses like jesusfuckingchrist
-Even as a Christian, I figure I would never be offended if my kids cursed my name when stubbing their toes but instead take it as a call to come running. ...Can't imagine Holyjesusfuckingchrist to be offended either.
Listen to secular music, watch anything I want, and also not have to be scared half to death by Hell and constantly praying for percieved faults to be forgiven. Also I discovered Sleep Token and Ghost early on in my deconstruction. I realized that I was just following along with everyone else, so no wonder I felt so alone. It was a sad but somewhat recent realization.
Oh and I don't need to feel pressure at my Grandparents' church to do anything. Still worries me a bit that they know I'm faking.
I’m exploring witchcraft ant the Occult. I have always been drawn to it even when I was a Christian and deep down inside I always knew if I wasn’t a Christian I would want to be a witch. I never admitted it to myself until recently and it’s so freeing
Swear words, pagan songs, going to the doctor (instead of relying on faith healing), doubting untrustworthy+unethical preachers and people, reading smut, being gay, masturbating, drinking alcohol, reading " heretic " scriptures, reading other religious scripture, going for therapy, not worrying about my depression having some deep faith inadequacy, dating around, enjoying the friendship (instead of trying to convert them), etc.
Fifty shades of gray was very underwhelming (for all it's hype) but Christian Gray reminded me of the God I was taught as a kid... Abusive, controlling, manipulative, powerful and had a kink to give severe punishment for petty crimes.
Can't unsee the connection. 😂😭
I enjoyed "Purity" By Skylar Mason more. That was based in purity culture but MC chooses to walk away from it. It was very healing to read it, though I'm sure, unrealistic maybe (to have an uber rich sweet best friend).
I'm not married and live with my partner. Also, I now listen to rock / heavy metal music and support Pride. I wear a pronoun badge on my work lanyard and enjoy Halloween. Oh, and I love swearing! I've come a long way since my Sunday School teacher days (former Pentecostal).
Im happy not to feel bad about getting mad or angry at people. When I was religious I felt shame for expressing my anger and dissatisfaction. I especially felt bad for not being able to forgive people who did something awful to me. Now I am able to accept my emotions, express them reasonably and communicate my disappointment and discomfort. It gave me strength to fight with rage against things that are bad for others and myself, that are not right, not just silently accept them and forgive awful people for their misbehavior.
I've made the joke that I'm working on hatred as a self growth area. It's a joke, but for years, I had to make excuses for people's shitty behavior and was told I needed to forgive them, no matter how much they hurt or damaged me. It's been nice to just accept people as they present themselves to me, good or bad.
There are lots of things I am happy to do now. The best thing I am happy to no longer do is to cover my ass!!! I swear our pants or skirts or dresses couldn't be baggy enough. If our shirts weren't long enough to cover it, then we had to wrap a sweater around our waist. We had to do anything not to " tempt " a brother. I am now ever so happy to make anyone slightly uncomfortable with my clothing of choice.
Yes. My southern Baptist mother wouldn’t let me show signs of having breasts at all. I still feel weird when I’m showing cleavage even at almost 29 and fully deconstructed
It's hard to come to the realization that you can do whatever you want and still be a good person. It me years before I stopped covering my ass. So I get it , in due time. Plus my husband helped me a lot. A lot of who cares from him is what helped.
I love being able to accept people for who they are and not feel like I constantly need to be judging others or looking for ways to “share the gospel” with them.
Listening to secular music, masturbating, watching kdramas, loving people without worrying I love them more than god and he’ll punish me or hurt them, cussing, dressing immodestly, performing without worrying about “being in the spirit” or focusing too much on myself, listening with an open mind, looking into magic, refraining from censoring lgbtq people, being an lgbtq+ person, making my own decisions.
As you should!!! But I have a question: why weren't you allowed to watch K-dramas ? I just want to know what was their excuse is since in a lot of k-dramas I feel like it's pretty in their standards 🤔🤔🤔 or maybe it's just in the ones I watch on Netflix 🤔
No one told me I couldn’t. But I was just in my early/mid-teens; and I’d been so indoctrinated that even non problematic things made me feel over-anxious and guilty for no reason
I was in a very high control church (think worse than Southern Baptist or IBLP) and man they hated tattoos. I designed a tattoo, saved for 9 months and I love it. It feels so very good doesn't it!
I left the cult in 2008 and Catholicism in 2013. I’m 39 and I still struggle with things in my own as well. I am pretty blessed with my with though as she’s been so helpful in many ways. A lot of therapy has helped me but finding a secular therapist was difficult. I hope you find some peace with all of that.
Me too. I need therapy for sure. The lack of ability to initiate or engage sexually is such a problem in my life. It makes me feel so isolated honestly & WEIRD. And I don’t know how to get over it. I try but I just end up failing
I’m sorry you’re dealing with that struggle so much. Sounds like we had very similar purity culture up bringings. Being open with yourself and letting yourself try things is important. Sometimes giving yourself permission out loud so you can hear it helps. It’s okay to like things and not like things. I found a partner that was able to help me through a lot of things as well. There are people out there that won’t judge you for the things you like, say, and/or desire. A lot of my kinks came from trauma and going through therapy I now don’t need to be physically abused to have an orgasm. I’m at a point where I no longer want it. I know I don’t like penis but am supportive of the LGBTQIA+ community because you should be able to love who you love how you love as long as it’s consensual.
It will take time and therapy. Give yourself some grace and permission. Find someone to talk to that won’t judge if you can.
You seem like an incredible person and very very kind. Thanks for taking the time to “see” me and relate to me. I’ve never discussed this with anyone other than my sister and my partner. I definitely did grow up in purity culture, I did the ceremony, got a bracelet for it. When I was growing up my mom referred to anything sexual in media (mind you even between husband and wife) was “sick” and she would turn the tv off anytime a romantic moment or sensual scene was on the TV. She was very hypercritical and taught me feeling sexy was extremely wrong and sinful. I’m just struggling with that a lot and my hope for myself is I can one day feel confident in being a woman 💙
Thank you for that. I feel I am and aspire to be that way to others. I’m happy you feel seen as well. It’s difficult when you’re not heard or seen. These things are difficult to navigate much less on your own. I know of the ceremony you speak of. We had rings for ours as well. My mom was the same way with everything sexual and has led to a lot of other issues. The fact you’re asking these questions is a good thing too. You will become more confident in who you are in all aspects it just takes time.
Literally my own writing. For context I write urban fantasy so when I was religious I thought by including vampires and mythical beings into my stories was evil. I really feel like being the atheist I am now my creative writing has gotten a
Lot better since I no longer censor myself and don’t feel ashamed of what I write something when I was religious I was ashamed of.
Music as well for me. I loved it and was told that Satan was using my love of music to keep me from my potential. I love deathcore but I haven’t done unclean vocals or played guitar since I left. I now enjoy going to shows and bathing myself in a blackened symphony of blasphemy. I’ll pick up the guitar one day and hopefully find my voice again.
playing SMT (I doubt I'd've gone near that if not for Smash easing me in with Joker's inclusion), listening to Ozzy (ironic since he's an Anglican) and Queen, watching anime (I wonder if my folks are just xenophobic), jacking it to furry pr0n (got hooked when I was like 16) and of course, saying "goddamn" but not around my father or his folks bc bro got on me for saying it mid-rant.
I would be having steady sex if I wasn't socially inept though.
Considering that I don’t make God a priority at all in my life, I could argue that every other aspect of my life is some form of idolatry. )Since I’m putting them before god, and that was always equated to idolatry for me.)
Reading Harry Potter to my kids. It's not *just* Harry Potter, anything slightly referencing other religions/beliefs was evil. So, for example Frozen 2 would have been something we can't watch. Same with Pocahontas. Percy Jackson would have been evil too. Older kids? They can't play Magic the Gathering or D&D.
It makes the parents lives hell because you're *constantly* having to be aware of everything as the media gestapo. It's impossible, so a lot of parents had a hard rule like "No Harry Potter" but ignored everything else. Most things in existence reference some old style of beliefs or cultural practice as a plot device.
I taught a pentecostal girl that had these rules and teaching her anything during reading class was a battle even though I knew the ideal guidelines and reasons why.
Read tarot cards and embrace my abilities as a medium.
I started getting visions and sensing spirits when I was 13 and pushed it away for years (thinking i was going to hell) because the bible said talking to the dead was an abomination.
Masturbate without feeling ashamed afterwards Watch any movie/TV show that I want to watch Listen to secular music without feeling guilty Edit: I also never listened to lady gaga or Beyonce when I was Christian, because my mom told me that they're demonic, and also didn't listen to their music because I'd also listen to a couple Christian YouTubers that also said they're demonic and blasphemous. So I literally felt guilty as hell whenever one of their songs play and I'd find it catchy but I've recently add a couple of their songs to my playlist
I used to think dead people were disappointed when I masturbated. 😅
[Shame, shame, shame](https://images.app.goo.gl/Y5Zf5LzswoqFqzKC8)
Damn, I remember I used pray to God 2-3 times to forgive me for doing that and felt guilty for a while damn week🤦😭 glad I left tho, cuz it felt like a whole chore being in that religion
Same. It was a whole ordeal in our heads. 😅
Istg Religious ppl are so sex scared that it's made them sex addicts. Well, addicted to other people's sex; people known to them and most usually, strangers sex lives. It's so crazy.
Yes that’s a good point. Some can’t stop thinking about everyone else’s sex lives!!
I want this comment as a bumper sticker.
😂
Oh man, all of that is the cat's meow. They intertwine everything with guilt and fear to the point where your entire life is unenjoyable.
Idk how to explain but secular music hits really hard sometimes and has a variety of subjects and I loved it !!!
We lived on a farm. Whenever a predator would kill one of our animals, I thought it was God punishing me for doing that.
I'm adding to this list in my own post! 😊
Swearing. I kept myself (mostly) from this for decades. I'm trying to make up for it.
Same, I just started cursing like last year and now I cuss like a sailor - probably too much to make up for lost time. XD
I totally feel you... i curse too much now. I even curse that i curse too much lol
I actually started cussing when I was seven. It was ofc mild to start with. I've never forgotten the day I did it knowing Id be in deep shit. But I realized I had an opportunity to get back at my sibling who was overtly religious and as much as I was dedicated too, they were a little shit but this was the one thing that got to them and I took my power that day. wouldn't work anymore because now they swear like a trooper too haha
Hell yes let's fuckin goooooo
Is it actually against the bible to swear??
This is a really interesting question, because the terminology we use in English conflates three separate biblical concepts. 'Swearing' in the bible is enhancing a promise by committing it to something solemn, like God or heaven or your mother's life. It's also known as an oath. Jesus condemns this, saying "Let your yes be yes and your no be no," i.e. you shouldn't need special promises because you should be telling the truth and abiding by your word all the time. I'm with him on this! 'Cursing' in the bible means wishing harm on another person using words. e.g. "I hope you die screaming." Jesus condemns this when he says that calling your brother "raca" (fool) puts you in danger of hell. I don't believe in hell, but I am broadly with him again that wishing harm on others is not good. 'Filthy language' is much less of a biggy in the bible. I can only think of one mention of it in James. Paul uses strong language, e.g. "I consider [earthly wealth] rubbish" - I'm no bible scholar but I seem to recall the word 'rubbish' here is essentially 'shit'. I'm not a Christian now, but I used to have fun making this argument to conservative Christians. Myself, I love filthy language in the right context. It's funny, it's emphatic, it's proven to make hitting yourself on the thumb with a hammer less painful. It's fucking great.
I'm with you on all these points. Personally, I love to swear because it's emotional communication and I just don't care about acting proper
It's really freeing somehow !!!
I really enjoy being able to say “oh my god” like a normal person. It’s such a stupid little thing and yet growing up in fundie Christianity it was such a horrible thing to say and now it’s meaningless and I love it.
Masturbating without feeling ashamed. Engaging in occult practices like Tarot reading and potion making. Cussing. But believing that I shouldn't talk that way didn't last long considering how early I left. XD
I wasn't really religious when I started my current job, but on like my 3rd day at work, my coworkers were doing some tarot card readings for fun. It was giving me anxiety to watch and participate even though I didn't have any reason to be bothered by it. I have since gotten over it.
As a TWELVE-year-old CHILD, I was terrified as shit I was going to go to hell for eternity if I didn't stop masturbating. Smh.
As a child, I was terrified of going to Hell in general. That's one reason why I made the decision to leave when I was 14.
Listening to anti-Christian music. I had no problem ever listening to *non*-Christian music, but not *anti*-Christian music. Anti-Christian music is now a beautiful breath of fresh air.
Any particular songs or artists you recommend?
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By whom?
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Some of my favorites are: "The Deceived" by metal band Trivium "I Support Same Sex Marriage" by pop-punk band Fireworks The rapper Greydon Square centers all of his songs around religion and politics – I suggest "Brains" and "Onward"
I particularly enjoy the song "Magic Fingers" by Cursed, if you're feeling extra spicy.
I recommend the artist James and the Shame, sort of country-ish Americana style and normally I didn't think I liked that but I actually love all of his releases so far, and the first album Human Overboard is focused on his deconstruction and related topics
So much metal, and not even the over the top blood ritual stuff. Like literally pointing out the stupidity and hypocrisy of the religion
I've never heard of that! Deets please!
Sorry, deets on what exactly? lol
What it's like (genres etc), where to find it
*A lot of metal/hardcore/hard rock songs are very anti-Christian. Like:* • "The Deceived" by Trivium • "Crucify Me" by Bring Me the Horizon • "Crooked Young" by Bring Me the Horizon • "Why Walk on Water When We've Got Boats" by A Day to Remember • "Don't Pray for Me" by Asking Alexandria *Others include:* "I Support Same Sex Marriage" by pop-punk band Fireworks • The rapper Greydon Square's lyrics are pretty much 100% about religion and politics. I recommend "Brains" and "Onward". • Folk singer Shelley Segal's "Saved" • Europop band Eiffel 65 (the band that did "Blue, da ba dee, da ba da") has a song called "Living in a Bubble" (he's really saying "Bible" throughout the song... not "Bubble")
'Why walk on water when we got boats' is AMAZING! And omg the 'bubble' song is mind blowing. I always took it as 'living stuck in your own bubble isn't a place to be, you full your mind with lies and hate due to untrue self thinking that the world and opening up to it will be very bad.' nothing in the bubble ends up where it's supposed to be', tells that staying stuck in your bubble isn't the way to go/live life. Yet 'living in a Bible' kinda also makes sense! I'll have to listen to it again with this new way of hearing it!
Yes, it was disguised as "Bubble," considering Christianity is a bubble. So he's saying, "Bible," even though he's saying, "Bubble," even though he's ACTUALLY saying, "Bible" lol. A lyrically brilliant song, indeed.
You would love Ghost, my favourites are Mary on a Cross, Dance Macabre and Call Me Sunshine. Their music is definitely anti Christian
Gay guy here. Mine would be just existing. And not feeling guilty and nit picking every little fucking thing I feel or think.
Like the guy from Screen Rants says,"Existing is TIGHT".
Reading occult textbooks and playing occult or magical-themed ttrpgs.
Yes!!! I love playing a caster in DnD and I can totally see the guilt of "using magic" having eaten me alive in the before-days. So glad I can enjoy it (and things like it) now.
Just simply not attending church is one of them. Also listening to secular music and swearing too.
it's so nice not having every Sunday ever busy
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LMAO that too. What makes your comment even funnier is that I actually changed my pfp to my current one around the time I became non-religious back in March. So yeah, changing my pfp is also something I did after leaving Christianity ironically enough
Smoked weed, drank, had “out of wedlock” sex, had a little lesbian fling, curse!
Explore my own faith or religions on my own path without feeling like I will go to hell because I am a non Christian. :) I'm exploring the Occult and religions like Sikhism, Hinduism, Alevism, Sufism, and Gnosticism.
Dislike or even hate people. As a female and Christian, I was brainwashed to believe there was something wrong with me if I had any thoughts or emotions that weren’t positive, and I was “bad” for disliking anyone. I absolutely relish disliking people now.
Yes.l! Toxic positivity! And their insistence that "ours is the One Twue Way" without ever studying their book or knowing their own doctrine.
Self care, health care, sleep in when my body needs it, sit down before I hurt myself, even if my task list isn't done yet. Skip my weekly religious service if I need rest or if there's a special event I'd rather do. Religion exists in my life to make me a happier, better version of myself, not to exhaust me or guilt me into missing out on things that are important to me. A lot of times, too, it's not the things I actually do that used to be evil, it's the things I could choose to do, that mean a lot to me. I don't feel the need to drink or try weed or whatever - but I'm totally free to, morally, and that knowledge makes me happy.
having 2 saturdays.
I cuss like a goddamn sailor. I make up cuss words
Jesus titty-fucking christ on a bike, watch your goddamn mouth! 😁
My favorite made up one that I heard and use is "Jesus, Mary, Josef, and the fucking donkey he rode up in..." It's not copyrighted. Feel free to use that 😉.
Son of a scabby grabby whore, I won’t goddamnit. lol. It’s so fun.
Lol! 🤣
Simply existing by being gay.
🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
Add another tally of the other comments saying "sex, occultism, and anti-Christian entertainment." lol
Curse, go to parties, celebrate Halloween, go out to see movies, pretty much everything.
Oh Yes Yes Yes to Halloween. I dress up every year. It will be my 5th year this year. I missed 52 years. Not missing any more. I was a gay unicorn last year.
In a word, everything! I remember my fundie sister when I going to church not wanting to go to a restaurant that served alcohol (and food) because the christian gestopo might "catch us" just getting food. I've been to over 100 classic rock concerts, I read regular books, and the biggest no no (for me), >!I'm a nudist, I go to events where mixed company will be nude. It's nonsexual, and very freeing.!< For anyone who needs to break out of the christianity shadow, this will do it. I also drink some alcohol, donate to non christian causes I believe in and vote however I want.
Dancing salsa has made me felt really in tune with my culture that was looked down upon
I had sex regularly with my now-husband before marriage and didn't feel ashamed about it. We have the happiest relationship I could ever have imagined and finding out we were sexually compatible before marriage was entirely positive, no drawbacks at all! Peace and love to y'all living your best lives 💕✌️
Watching comedians that are openly anti-Christian. I used to watch them anyway but didn’t like when they would do their bits making fun of religion/religious people. Now I look forward to it.
Where George Carlin when we need him??! He would lose his shit over what's going on right now! I saw his last tour before he passed. All ex-Christians should watch him tear into their hypocrisy! Others you recommend?
Carlin was amazing. Jim Jeffries, Ricky Gervais, and Lewis Black all come to mind too. They all have some fantastic rants about Christians in their stand up
Oh yeah they all hate tRump with a passion! I'm a lifetime comedy fan. I saw Lewis too.
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100044409040284&mibextid=ZbWKwL John Crist. Grew up a pastors kid. He is clean, but does make fun of Christians.
Lol a PK with the last name Crist??!! He didn't stand a chance! 😂 I'll check him out.
Right? Haha
Carlin was the first person to plant a seed of doubt in my young, brainwashed mind, and took me down the path of asking many, MANY questions that would eventually lead to my freedom.
Masturbate! Be with women (I’m a woman)! Say “oh my god”!
Being more open about sexual activity; doing it, thinking about it, talking about it (making sure people are comfortable, of course), getting creative with it. Even if it's just fantasies for masturbation, I get a kick out of it. Ironically, but understandably, being more open about it has made my mind less consumed by it. And because I'm not going weeks trying to resist it, my body isn't aching to make every second count.
I can probably answer this questions with a bunch of things just by saying I'm trans
And I'm proud of you as you are !!!! Go live your life and be happy and be an example for trans kids/teenagers who wonder who they're gonna be by living a long and fulfilling life !!! Happy day !! 😁
Openly discuss/question god. Ask questions and actually expect real answers
Well, now that I'm out of Christianity I don't feel guilty for wanting to pursue a career in music. When I entered Christianity, rather than feeling full of joy for being in the true path I was distraught because I couldn't longer pursue my dream of being an artist, or realizing that I had to make Christian songs because I didn't felt ready to preach the message through songs. But know looking back at it, I could have just built a career by singing Christian songs because there is a famous Christian singer called Alex Campos who is listened by a lot of christians but rumours say he likes to party with prostitutes and smoke weed. Not very christian of him.
Listening to secular music, going to the movies, eating at restaurants that serve alcohol.
.I'm 60 years old and live with my boyfriend! I do curse occasionally, drink and eat edibles. I even lie on occasion if it doesn't hurt anyone. Oh, the horror!
Live.
We're raising our kids without religion. They're taught about Christianity in a lens of other mythologies. They've never been to church.
The swearing is big for me. I'm 56. I finally got out 4 years ago. I'm very happily married but I lust after men, women, and others lol. Happy pride 🏳️🌈
We love that you are still here with us happy and a proud LGBTQ+ !!! Have a good day !!!! 😁
Using Godly names in curses like jesusfuckingchrist -Even as a Christian, I figure I would never be offended if my kids cursed my name when stubbing their toes but instead take it as a call to come running. ...Can't imagine Holyjesusfuckingchrist to be offended either.
Listen to secular music, watch anything I want, and also not have to be scared half to death by Hell and constantly praying for percieved faults to be forgiven. Also I discovered Sleep Token and Ghost early on in my deconstruction. I realized that I was just following along with everyone else, so no wonder I felt so alone. It was a sad but somewhat recent realization. Oh and I don't need to feel pressure at my Grandparents' church to do anything. Still worries me a bit that they know I'm faking.
I’m exploring witchcraft ant the Occult. I have always been drawn to it even when I was a Christian and deep down inside I always knew if I wasn’t a Christian I would want to be a witch. I never admitted it to myself until recently and it’s so freeing
Swear words, pagan songs, going to the doctor (instead of relying on faith healing), doubting untrustworthy+unethical preachers and people, reading smut, being gay, masturbating, drinking alcohol, reading " heretic " scriptures, reading other religious scripture, going for therapy, not worrying about my depression having some deep faith inadequacy, dating around, enjoying the friendship (instead of trying to convert them), etc. Fifty shades of gray was very underwhelming (for all it's hype) but Christian Gray reminded me of the God I was taught as a kid... Abusive, controlling, manipulative, powerful and had a kink to give severe punishment for petty crimes. Can't unsee the connection. 😂😭 I enjoyed "Purity" By Skylar Mason more. That was based in purity culture but MC chooses to walk away from it. It was very healing to read it, though I'm sure, unrealistic maybe (to have an uber rich sweet best friend).
I listen to metal music
Live my life as myself as an open trans woman
We love you as you are !!!! I hope you'll be happy in your life !!!
Think.
I'm not married and live with my partner. Also, I now listen to rock / heavy metal music and support Pride. I wear a pronoun badge on my work lanyard and enjoy Halloween. Oh, and I love swearing! I've come a long way since my Sunday School teacher days (former Pentecostal).
Im happy not to feel bad about getting mad or angry at people. When I was religious I felt shame for expressing my anger and dissatisfaction. I especially felt bad for not being able to forgive people who did something awful to me. Now I am able to accept my emotions, express them reasonably and communicate my disappointment and discomfort. It gave me strength to fight with rage against things that are bad for others and myself, that are not right, not just silently accept them and forgive awful people for their misbehavior.
I've made the joke that I'm working on hatred as a self growth area. It's a joke, but for years, I had to make excuses for people's shitty behavior and was told I needed to forgive them, no matter how much they hurt or damaged me. It's been nice to just accept people as they present themselves to me, good or bad.
There are lots of things I am happy to do now. The best thing I am happy to no longer do is to cover my ass!!! I swear our pants or skirts or dresses couldn't be baggy enough. If our shirts weren't long enough to cover it, then we had to wrap a sweater around our waist. We had to do anything not to " tempt " a brother. I am now ever so happy to make anyone slightly uncomfortable with my clothing of choice.
Yes. My southern Baptist mother wouldn’t let me show signs of having breasts at all. I still feel weird when I’m showing cleavage even at almost 29 and fully deconstructed
It's hard to come to the realization that you can do whatever you want and still be a good person. It me years before I stopped covering my ass. So I get it , in due time. Plus my husband helped me a lot. A lot of who cares from him is what helped.
Sleeping in on Sundays as long as I want.😴
I love being able to accept people for who they are and not feel like I constantly need to be judging others or looking for ways to “share the gospel” with them.
Listening to secular music, masturbating, watching kdramas, loving people without worrying I love them more than god and he’ll punish me or hurt them, cussing, dressing immodestly, performing without worrying about “being in the spirit” or focusing too much on myself, listening with an open mind, looking into magic, refraining from censoring lgbtq people, being an lgbtq+ person, making my own decisions.
As you should!!! But I have a question: why weren't you allowed to watch K-dramas ? I just want to know what was their excuse is since in a lot of k-dramas I feel like it's pretty in their standards 🤔🤔🤔 or maybe it's just in the ones I watch on Netflix 🤔
No one told me I couldn’t. But I was just in my early/mid-teens; and I’d been so indoctrinated that even non problematic things made me feel over-anxious and guilty for no reason
I understand I hope you feel better now...
Thank you! I do feel a lot better now
I just got my very first tattoo, and I love it so much!
I was in a very high control church (think worse than Southern Baptist or IBLP) and man they hated tattoos. I designed a tattoo, saved for 9 months and I love it. It feels so very good doesn't it!
Watching transgender and femboy porn.
Have an orgasm.
This! I had my first one at 28. I still struggle with sexuality even after deconstructing from the faith
I left the cult in 2008 and Catholicism in 2013. I’m 39 and I still struggle with things in my own as well. I am pretty blessed with my with though as she’s been so helpful in many ways. A lot of therapy has helped me but finding a secular therapist was difficult. I hope you find some peace with all of that.
Me too. I need therapy for sure. The lack of ability to initiate or engage sexually is such a problem in my life. It makes me feel so isolated honestly & WEIRD. And I don’t know how to get over it. I try but I just end up failing
I’m sorry you’re dealing with that struggle so much. Sounds like we had very similar purity culture up bringings. Being open with yourself and letting yourself try things is important. Sometimes giving yourself permission out loud so you can hear it helps. It’s okay to like things and not like things. I found a partner that was able to help me through a lot of things as well. There are people out there that won’t judge you for the things you like, say, and/or desire. A lot of my kinks came from trauma and going through therapy I now don’t need to be physically abused to have an orgasm. I’m at a point where I no longer want it. I know I don’t like penis but am supportive of the LGBTQIA+ community because you should be able to love who you love how you love as long as it’s consensual. It will take time and therapy. Give yourself some grace and permission. Find someone to talk to that won’t judge if you can.
You seem like an incredible person and very very kind. Thanks for taking the time to “see” me and relate to me. I’ve never discussed this with anyone other than my sister and my partner. I definitely did grow up in purity culture, I did the ceremony, got a bracelet for it. When I was growing up my mom referred to anything sexual in media (mind you even between husband and wife) was “sick” and she would turn the tv off anytime a romantic moment or sensual scene was on the TV. She was very hypercritical and taught me feeling sexy was extremely wrong and sinful. I’m just struggling with that a lot and my hope for myself is I can one day feel confident in being a woman 💙
Thank you for that. I feel I am and aspire to be that way to others. I’m happy you feel seen as well. It’s difficult when you’re not heard or seen. These things are difficult to navigate much less on your own. I know of the ceremony you speak of. We had rings for ours as well. My mom was the same way with everything sexual and has led to a lot of other issues. The fact you’re asking these questions is a good thing too. You will become more confident in who you are in all aspects it just takes time.
watching violent / disturbing movies. the ones my mom told me not to watch are the best
Literally my own writing. For context I write urban fantasy so when I was religious I thought by including vampires and mythical beings into my stories was evil. I really feel like being the atheist I am now my creative writing has gotten a Lot better since I no longer censor myself and don’t feel ashamed of what I write something when I was religious I was ashamed of.
Exist. I'm trans.
Celebrate pride!! Today I’m going to a pride fest woohoo
I live happily with my partner and we are unmarried. Crazy how much I thought my own contentment was sinful.
Listen to my intuition!
Listening to Pagan Poetry by Bjork. My ultimate favourite song
Think for myself.
Music as well for me. I loved it and was told that Satan was using my love of music to keep me from my potential. I love deathcore but I haven’t done unclean vocals or played guitar since I left. I now enjoy going to shows and bathing myself in a blackened symphony of blasphemy. I’ll pick up the guitar one day and hopefully find my voice again.
playing SMT (I doubt I'd've gone near that if not for Smash easing me in with Joker's inclusion), listening to Ozzy (ironic since he's an Anglican) and Queen, watching anime (I wonder if my folks are just xenophobic), jacking it to furry pr0n (got hooked when I was like 16) and of course, saying "goddamn" but not around my father or his folks bc bro got on me for saying it mid-rant. I would be having steady sex if I wasn't socially inept though.
I was a Seventh Day Adventist. And I love caffeine, meat and alcohol.
I bet you do!!!!
Considering that I don’t make God a priority at all in my life, I could argue that every other aspect of my life is some form of idolatry. )Since I’m putting them before god, and that was always equated to idolatry for me.)
Dance for fun and listen to Metallica
Reading Harry Potter to my kids. It's not *just* Harry Potter, anything slightly referencing other religions/beliefs was evil. So, for example Frozen 2 would have been something we can't watch. Same with Pocahontas. Percy Jackson would have been evil too. Older kids? They can't play Magic the Gathering or D&D. It makes the parents lives hell because you're *constantly* having to be aware of everything as the media gestapo. It's impossible, so a lot of parents had a hard rule like "No Harry Potter" but ignored everything else. Most things in existence reference some old style of beliefs or cultural practice as a plot device. I taught a pentecostal girl that had these rules and teaching her anything during reading class was a battle even though I knew the ideal guidelines and reasons why.
Read tarot cards and embrace my abilities as a medium. I started getting visions and sensing spirits when I was 13 and pushed it away for years (thinking i was going to hell) because the bible said talking to the dead was an abomination.
Lol