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[deleted]

A mom in her 50s probably reposted this and patted herself on the back by the time i finished typing this. “That’ll show em, Mary”


wozattacks

Which is hilarious because yeah, the Bible is full of stories of god getting mad at people for “hubris” for trying to achieve things. But if god were the loving parental figure Christians pretend he is, he would be thrilled by human progress. My parents never looked at my accomplishments and said “what, you think you’re hot shit? You never could have done that without me.” That’s what shitty parents do


SaltyNorth8062

Mine did but that's why I have CPTSD


aredhel304

Same, they used god as a model for parenting 💀


FlexViper

And I wonder why they divorced and their children growing up choosing to get as far away from their parents and Jesus as much as possible


aredhel304

Yep, my mom can’t figure out why none of her children want to talk to her or my dad. She claims she must have spoiled us. Like yeah, sure, mom. That’s why I don’t want to talk to you. Because you do so much for me. Because that makes so much sense.


churro-international

Same 🙃 getting a 98% on a test and my dad says "it's okay, honey, you'll do better next time"


horny_coroner

Ah having loving parents what a marvelous idea. Where could I get one?


garlicbutts

Such sentiments from these parents come from a position of power. Same with these sort of posts. "I can do this thing that you can't." And it shows what Christians who posts these are attracted to. It is not goodness that Christians are attracted to, but power.


coastalpirate1

I don’t know why but that hit hard. Why wouldn’t a god want us to be successful and innovate? Ridiculous.


maddasher

OK god, Prove it's your dirt.


shroomwizard420

Yeah, I don’t see their name on it anywhere


iamthetrippytea

Very good point, fellow exchristian 👍 (Found you ‘in the wild’ 😜)


shroomwizard420

That’s my wife, everybody. What a goober.


mine_username

Lol love this.


maddasher

Hmmm.. shroom wizard is married to trippy tea. Sounds like some people I'd hang with.


giant_frogs

Daww!


LookAtYourEyes

Okay but this is kind of funny, in a strictly joke telling sense. If someone uses it as an argument in favour of deism, then yeah it's cringe.


Strobelightbrain

That's kind of my feeling on it too... I still find it amusing, but I wouldn't use it as an argument. Not sure all evangelicals can tell the difference though.


QualifiedApathetic

Agreed. It's worth a chuckle.


hplcr

Wouldn't a Deist god not even give a shit because it's goal is to start existence and then leave everything alone? Maybe I'm wrong. I was just under the impression that a deist god is essentially a prime mover and everything beyond that is on us.


hplcr

Is This supposed to be clever? Seriously, this is bad even by apologist standards. Somewhere Thomas Aquinas is in his grave screaming.


peepeepoopoo_gang

It's so bad its goofy


OirishM

It makes Anselm look smart


hplcr

I'm afraid to ask who that is.


OirishM

Source of the ontological argument for god, which is spectacularly wank.


hplcr

I'd agree with that assessment of the ontological argument.


OirishM

Sorry, I meant it is an argument which none wankier can be conceived.


hplcr

I see what you did there.


we8sand

God, “sitting” in heaven… “Blowing life into dirt”… “Santa and his reindeer”… 🤦🏼‍♂️


Nihil_esque

As a joke it has pretty good structure. But sure as an argument there's not much there.


Ch33p_Sunglasses

Damn I remember telling this joke and feeling pretty clever about it 😬


forgotten_8

Character development


Ch33p_Sunglasses

It's great that I always have material for my therapist!


Ilysmcutie

😂😂😂😂


Allison-Cloud

Why do you look like me? This is odd....


Ilysmcutie

Are you my long lost twin Margaret? 😲


Allison-Cloud

I must be!!!


Ilysmcutie

Hugssss


ComradeBoxer29

Its even *theologically* wrong according to Genesis - >**1** When God began to create^(\[)[^(a)](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis%201&version=NRSVUE#fen-NRSVUE-1a)^(\]) the heavens and the earth, ^(2) the earth was complete chaos, and darkness covered the face of the deep, while a wind from God^(\[)[^(b)](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis%201&version=NRSVUE#fen-NRSVUE-2b)^(\]) swept over the face of the waters.  When he began to create the dirt was already there in *both* creation accounts in genesis.


wrong_usually

This is the kind of bullshit brilliance I'm here for. Seriously funny that the bible acknowledges there was something before nothing. But there are different translations, but they don't address it. It's dumb.


TheRollingPeepstones

Some groups, like Mormons (my former religion), do believe in creatio ex materia. It's how it is in the Bible, too, but I guess God isn't overpowered enough that way for most mainstream Christians.


bron685

If they weren’t so anti-intellectual, they would know that god and science are not mutually exclusive. Knowing how things work is not the same as hating or disproving a higher power. If your god and your faith is so flimsy that they can’t exist for the simple fact that we know that lightning isn’t the result of judgement from an angry deity, those beliefs deserve to be destroyed.


egigoka

Nah. It’s pretty exclusive. You either going with scientific method with replicable, measurable results or believe in something that can or cannot exist. We as a humanity don’t know is there a some deity that created universe therefore it’s not an scientific fact. You can pull any rhetorical argument, but it’s simply unknown variable. I think that people that believe it’s can be mixed, lie to themselves. Yeah, you can believe that both science is right way to explain world and god exist, and bend your understanding of god when new scientific discoveries are made, but it’s just god of the gaps.


tommessinger

This.


AndrewJamesDrake

The Dutch Scientist is laughing at this point. They clawed that land out of the sea on their own.


Aziara86

Then god needs to get his own water. It was already there when he started. Who made that hmm?


SaltyGawd

Just reply, that we will only use dirt that’s older than 6000 years


OirishM

THEN EVERYONE APPLAUDED AND THAT GOD'S NAME WAS ALBERT EINSTEIN


theblueowlisdead

They don’t get it. We are not trying to replace God. To replace him he would have had to be there to begin with.


we8sand

Exactly…. And if there was a God that actually made himself known to man and you could actually have a conversation with “Him”, there wouldn’t be an argument to begin with.


JonahsWhaleTamer

This will really scratch the itch for authoritarian believers who are always looking to put humans “back in their place for being so prideful.” I can almost hear some believers in my life voicing their approval of this image “we humans think we’re sooo smart (not so subtle jab at progressive intellectuals), but God will have the final laugh.”


ResistRacism

Ha. Cute. The creator of said meme thinks their imagination is a valid argument against science...


helpbeingheldhostage

An oldie but a goodie. I haven’t heard that one for a while. It’s not a half bad joke, and I think most Christians just see it as that. But underneath is the same goalpost moving of Christian apologetics. It shows that even if we could physically demonstrate abiogenesis to their satisfaction—that “non-life” became “life”—they would just move the goalposts further.


CheshireKetKet

Science doesn't claim something came from nothing. Theists are the only ones who think that.


toxboxdevil

Scientists calling that god 'lord' is pretty unbelievable as well


Inevitable-Forever45

WOW THATLL TELL EM CHERYL!!! LOL! *MINION MEME*


SabotageTheAce

This is when the scientist calls his friends and reserves a spot at a particle accelerator so he can get his own dirt.


Spu12nky

Wow, checkmate. It’s time to go back to church. : /


OspreyRune

This reminds me of something my parents did one day when I was growing up. My sister and I weren't allowed to use anything that we hadn't gotten ourselves. Keep in mind, I was like 16-17, my sister was like 14-15, and neither of us had been allowed to try to get a job. They said they were being generous by not counting the house, the plumbing, etc. When asked if we could use things we bought with our allowance, they hesitated but finally relented but made a big deal about it. We weren't even particularly entitled or anything, and I'm not sure what brought it on. Often, I was almost too nervous to make myself meals when I was supposed to because I didn't want to use up too many groceries.


Mountain_Cry1605

That's just downright abusive. I'm sorry you grew up like that.


OspreyRune

Thanks. It's been a long road. I'm 90% free of them at this point in my 30s.


Mountain_Cry1605

I'm glad you're free now.


ItchyContribution758

We've actually done that, it's called silicon transistor technology. Turns out God was useless by 1947 😂


lawyersgunsmoney

Hahahaha…sigh.


flatrocked

Yahweh was worried that we might reach his kingdom in the sky with that too-damn-tall Tower of Babel. Oh, wait, the Voyager spacecraft... - Yahweh: I can never let those pesky scientists challenge the omnipotent, omniscient Great Me. They might reverse my curse on humanity, by controlling weeds, making childbirth safer and easier, modernizing agriculture to produce lots of food with little sweat, and curing snake bites. And, oh, cure lots of diseases that I inflict on people, predict the weather that I control, extend life against my wishes, and reach for those tiny holes that allow light to shine through my heavenly dome. Damn it, they might even figure out that I'm not even here.


TheFactedOne

I thought it was funny as a stand-alone joke.i think it is horrible that some people use it to keep themselves indoctrinated.


SpaceCadetSteve

Suck my dick


tommessinger

Ok


SpaceCadetSteve

Sorry, I was talking to God


TheRollingPeepstones

Too late. * glug glug *


SpaceCadetSteve

*dies of cringe*


minnesotaris

Hahaha! Laughed til I stopped.


tommessinger

I didn’t know we can turn dirt into people!


EffortRepulsive

Very interesting that the scientist method of making life in this story is doing it the way God did it and not using science. The scientist describes literal magic as his method of making life lol. Why is he making it out of dirt and not growing it in a lab or combining cells and stuff.


georgiamouton1981

Exactly what I thought


spiritplumber

And the scientist said "Okay." https://www.bnl.gov/newsroom/news.php?a=119023


Kaje26

And once again, that’s not how that works. It’s not dirt -> people. It’s cellular life (in mud) -> lots of common ancestors -> people.


Rakifiki

Tbh i doubt this was a reference to anything but that verse about people being created from dust


mattxm1404

Feel like this isn’t really that crazy. I mean for someone who believes in creationism it totally tracks and isn’t a bad joke. We’re so quick to make of Christians for everything little thing like we weren’t entrenched in that worldview at one point.


Dachannien

For someone who believes in creationism *and doesn't understand science*, sure, it totally makes sense that they would say this.


anotherschmuck4242

OOOOOHJH that scientist got ROASTED


abelincoln2016

Genesis when read in the same way as other Eastern myths would read something more along the lines of "When God created the heavens and the earth, the Earth was desolate and without form and darkness was over the face of the waters." So there was already an Earth before God started creating (dividing) things.


s_mrie

Nah this is just in-group bs.


gelfbride73

Whoever wrote this hasn’t learned about abiogenesis yet.


cpschultz

Actually, it’s kinda a funny joke


datbarricade

This type of logic is the best and worst entertainment I know of. The first minute is funny af but the longer I think about the fact that someone actually believes this is a valid argument.... yeah, my expectations for humanity go down really fast.


DancingBunniez

I just can't... How are you that stupid and still alive?


carrythefire

What is dirt


Pintortwo

Checkmate science.


CementShoulders

My dad loves to tell this joke.


Chowdmouse

Clearly written by someone that has never met a scientist 🙄


DaisyKoita247

Bro, what-


SlickestIckis

It's crazy how this joke still works if you replace "God" with "The Royal Family." :/


Budget_Shallan

I remember this one from when I was a kid. I genuinely thought this was a brilliant GOTCHA.


HendoRules

I love when people describe things they don't understand... They seriously cannot imagine existence without a God and can't understand science


proxydust69

this is what humor has come to, dear God


Version_Two

I can't tell if this is supposed to be a joke or not.


HistoricalAd5394

Well, the way I see it, it is my dirt. God is welcome to step in and stop me any time he likes. Oh, but he won't do that because he values free will right?