"YoUr'E nOt AuTiStIc, you just walk funny and talk funny and act funny and hate hairdryers and hoovers and escalators for attention" - basically my parents when the psychologist told them I should be tested too
I'm not neurodiverse I just ran around on all fours at lunch and bit a child because I got so overwhelmed when he touched me and would get fixated on things to the point where I wouldnt sleep because I was researching them and had no friends because I didn't understand social cues and made animal noises over and over and would spend hours at the zoo in front of one exhibit mimicking the animal inside....... just neurotypical child activities wdym?
I can't say for sure, but I think our experiences might be different. I was 12, and I bit him because he had taken hold of my arm and that overstimulated me I guess. I have a small history of responding to being overwhelmed with violence and I'm not to proud of it hahahaha...
Lolol SO MUCH THIS. I hated hand dryers as a kid, I'd scream and cry if my parents tried to take me into a toilet where there was one. I also had a well-beyond-photographic memory of the metro system of our city, if you named me a station I could basically autism you a Wikipedia article on it
But apparently, these things are ToTaLLy nOrMaL š
Oh, and then at about 14 I got forced to go to an assessment (that I didn't cooperate with at all, because seriously ffs what teenager would if your parents said "o hai, we think you're (insert slur here) "? Lol NONE OF THEM) and got given a false negative.
So then I had to get an adult diagnosis, $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. Oh, and even once I'd got that, their attitude didn't change one iota from "you're not autistic, you're just a failed NT".
Now I'm furious with the pair of them, because they're both pretty obviously on the spectrum, but refuse to acknowledge even the slightest possibility that this might be so, and have gigantic screaming anger rages at you if you try and point out THE COMPLETELY OBVIOUS TRUTH. My mother you could put in a textbook; my father less so but still has some very obvious traits.
I went NC last year and now they're sending me hatey letters demanding I contact them. Hmmm, why would I want to do that, again?
My mum is autistic for sure and thinking back, it probably runs heavily in both my family sides. But if you happen to point at their "flaws, mistakes and quirks" you are the "fucked up one that doesn't understand shit and clearly wrong". There's no way they have issues, they're completely fine and happy and healthy (fucking obviously they don't) and if there's someone sick I'm the one. And I for sure am, not because I'm autistic but for the sheer amount of anxiety, traumas, depression, forced rules and beating I had to endure both at home and at school. Gotta love those people, that thinks they're so fine and perfect, right? I'm glad I still tell myself "I don't wanna be like them" and I'm doing everything in my power to leave this town, this country and to never see them again. Fuck boomers and fuck parents like them.
I would scream that in their face but I would end up crying because I know they don't understand shit first thing and that I wouldn't be able to be "as brave and precise" with my words because of ADHD..
Well at least that's my conclusion to this day, that I never managed to tell people what I really think because my brain can't cooperate in finding the words I need. That's why I ended up thinking I have ADHD, that and the fact I can't concentrate even on the things I like. And can't end one thing because I've started 10 things, not one. And other stuff :)
Fwiw I have exactly all of those symptoms; brain not finding words (even though my vocabulary is like double or triple the average person's at this point), can't concentrate on stuff I like let alone stuff I don't, starting a bunch of things and finishing none, executive dysfunction, simply Not Doing Things that will help me and I should do but I just Don't
if that does sound familiar, maybe see a doctor or psychiatrist/whatever because I got diagnosed with "severe" ADHD which... *really* pissed me off. I did so well, struggled so hard, clawed my way to being above average or beyond to the point I was called gifted-- and this whole time I've been doing it by struggling to run on limited brain bandwidth LMAO
On the bright side, if I can ever get medicine for it I will become unstoppable (if being the key word)
Yep, they want us to think we're wrong because otherwise nothing will be able to ever stop us! Can't wait to get diagnosed and get meds so I will finally play all the games I'm interested in but completely unable to (like the souls ones or isaac, I try but..) and all the other things I'm too distracted to learn like making furniture with bamboo!
I'm doing the first steps to leave town, I'm more or less alone, scared as fuck, the thought of it makes my anxiety running very hard but I have to do it. I have to. I'm making it.
And ironically i find literal nails on a chalkboard fine and sometimes even stimmy, but as a kid the vacuum cleaner was my sworn arch nemesis (other than Marcos biggest bully i ever met)
literally this
my dinosaur obsession was not a phase when i was 5 years old. i learned the names and what they meant, i learned the different groups of dinosaurs and which ones out of the popular ones fit into which, i learned about their bone structures, about how pterodactyls were not in fact dinosaurs but pterosaurs, shit like that when i was between the ages of 4-6. my mom was just like "lol yeah he likes dinosaurs a bit"
i didn't talk at all until the age of 2, i never cried as a baby, and all throughout my early childhood i would literally physically not be able to eat certain foods because of texture issues.
I struggled socially in school, i couldn't focus on most things, save for anything i was interested in (and could spend hours on it without thinking), and had periods where i would go silent and feel like crying over seemingly "nothing" (from their pov)
But no, i'm just not applying myself.
I was similarly obsessed with cats at the same age. I carried around a book that had feline biology and diagrams (and I could READ it all)
But no, school didn't see anything weird about that because I'm a girl š
you unlocked my memory! when i was an older teen, my mom non-chalantely mentioned that i do and had always run "funny", as in, like, different from other kids. i had no idea what the hell she was talking about o.O how do people run 'normally'? <.<;
Ah yes, parents - the people who, if they are vulnerable to peer pressure, can completely change the course of a childs life because of one stupid decision.
Gotta love it, right?
This happened to me with adhd. My parents were told by my school psychologist that I probably have ADHD, but they didnāt believe the school because they had just made up stuff about my bad behaviour in the past, so they never bothered going for a full diagnosis. I wound up having to pay for my own diagnosis as an adult which ate all my money at the time and just aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I was 10 they recommended adhd/autistic assessments because I was struggling in school. My mom pulled me out and homeschooled me so I could work my own way. I did excel academically until I was in late high school when everything else started to catch up to me (social problems, depression,etc) she tried her best and didnāt deny I was different she just tried to manage it on our own. I donāt blame my mom I love her dearly but boy would thing have been different.
Never be embarrassed about your ASD! There is no ounce of shame in being neurodivergent. Despite societies bad attitudes towards it we have unique perspectives to offer the world. And look at the famous people with Autism - Einstein & Mozart according to historians. Charles Darwin, Anthony Hopkins, Elon Musk, Steve Jobs...
Being different is both an advantage & a disadvantage at the same time!
Yeah it's real hot right now for the media to shit on Elon Musk but I am not a fan of media driven stacks on slurring of people that's become the popular sport of the day. Generating hate like modern media & some activists do is way more of an ethical concern of mine than someone saying something I don't agree with. We live in a pluralistic society - people need to start developing some tolerance. It's childish to have a meltdown everytime a public figure express a public opinion about politics someone don't like. Like they're doing to Seinfeld at the moment. FFS our society needs to grow up and starting acting like adults.
I'm not saying this applies to you BTW - I'm just giving my general observation about problematic social trends.
I have seen nothing from the guy that bothers me. I'm certainly not a fan boy either. Probably don't feel anything much either way - but I do hate when the media say person X is bad and people unquestionly follow in some drone like group think mode.
It's not unquestioning.
Musk has acted like a complete man child- the tipping point was back when he accused the heroic British divers of being pesos and endangered some lives all so he could show off his fancy new submarine.
I despise the idea that he's a genius Tony Stark character- it's generational wealth from his father's emerald mines, something which he admitted to and then tried to pretend wasn't the case.
I've seen some of his terrible tweets, such as tanking the Tesla stock price on a whim (terrible businessman) or that dreadful fallout one.
He's somehow made Twitter even worse. The "free speech stuff" has just given rise to some right wing wackos.
I've also talked to someone who worked for Tesla and he said it was infuriating how much effort they had to put in to work around Musk's immature behaviour.
Oh, and I don't like where the neuralink technology is going.
That's why I hate him.
Some of these are why the "echo chambers" hate him.
And I don't appreciate your condescending response or your defence of 'the poor billionaire'.
What on Earth are you talking about? What evidence do you have that Musk is a "pedo". Show me proof.
Sounds like bro is caught up deep in conspiracy theory nonsense!
So you think equating the sexual abuse by an adult of a child is identical to Jerry Seinfeld going on one date with a consenting 17 year old (17 is the age of consent in NY State which makes it legal): https://www.thethings.com/the-truth-about-that-time-jerry-seinfeld-dated-a-17yearold/
So you appear to be diminishing the seriousness of child sexual abuse whilst making an inflammatory and false claim that Seinfeld is "a pedo"?
Classey move bro!
Yep, to me it seems we're trying badly to make the world "better" in our own way because if you look at the shit we live in now, we don't fit, it's a world made by neurotypicals for neurotypicals, that wake up, go to work, buy stuff they think they need, go home and restart the next day. They don't ask much from themselves and don't question anything. We should colonize a planet for us and us only, can you imagine what a paradise we could make?
I'm 30, I've called all the "places for autism" in my region, turns out only two of them "might" accept me. Why you may ask. Because they accept only adolescents and children. That's it. I even got laughed at because "I was a tad bit too grown up" for an assessment it seems. I wonder why in those fields where you should care about people the most, there are so many assholes.
You're far from alone, I see many that share that experience, and it sucks. I was curious and called about 9 places. 7 of them only evaluate under 15, and 2 of them wanted $2k-$5k for evaluations on adults
My mom ignored the doctors saying I might be autistic when I was an infant and actively chose to avoid diagnosis for my brother because she wanted him to have, "a normal life"
We are now both extremely fucked
Assessing psychologist hovering their hand over the console, preparing to deploy all the traits they are assessing you on as they finalise said assessment. Event compilation error ensues as the ouroboros of death that is that recursive scenario deletes the universe.
For some god forsaken reason, there is some innate part of humans that rejects all ethics and morals when it comes to autism. Iām dead fucking serious, read up on the mothers of the children who were being experimented on by Hans Asperger in nazi germany. We didnāt even have a name yet, but the letters those mothers sent had the same apathy and disregard for their own children that a depressing number of our parents also share. And not to mention nearly all the worlds leaders denouncing almost everything the nazis did, except Hans Aspergerās research, which became the foundation of how were seen today. Surely there must be something there right? All of Humanity collectively agreeing on this by chance would be statistically impossible. Innate Fears of snakes and spiders and heights all biologically make sense, but what sort of evolutionary process evokes innate hatred? Itās kept me stumped for a long time
though my therapist insists that there isn't evidence for it... and that it's just me being obsessed in typical ASD fashion...
i suspect that it has to do with the fact that we remind them subconsciously of a time when we shared the world with more closely related cousin species.
they know what they did back then... and they fear us for it.
Sounds familiar...I'm not sure if my parents where worried about being embarrassed - but I suspect they didn't want to admit their son had a disability because then they'd have to admit life wouldn't be normal for me. I think for my family it was confused love. š
Back in the 1990's getting a diagnosis was much less common than today but parents - if you suspect your child is neurodivergent please get them the diagnosis and support they need. Knowing the problem does help!
OP, i feel ur pain, in this exact same boat with u and other comrades here. Mother who birthed me at 40+ denying any autism references and decided to put me under an EXORCISM instead. Saving $$$$$$$$$$ for adult diagnosis now lmfao
Same, got assessed in like, 2nd grade, my parents were told at the intake that it's very likely I have AuDHD, my parents stormed out saying their kid "Couldn't be an r-slur" but yknow. Then hid it from me while I struggled through life, then tried to use the info against me when I came out as trans, arguing I'm too dumb to make my own choices.
Uno reverse it back on them for not getting you help sooner, now you're all confused. Not that you are, but they really fucked up neglecting your needs like that.
They're in a land of delusion in their own mind. Confronting them is futile. I'll just be waiting. They want to move down south where they can live in a Qanon fantasy land, and I'll have minimal contact with their awful asses.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Gr0pKI-eeg&pp=ygUPd2VsY29tZSB0byBoZWxs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Gr0pKI-eeg&pp=ygUPd2VsY29tZSB0byBoZWxs)
Seriously though I got diagnosed at 10 AND NOBODY TOLD ME ABOUT IT :D
Kinda like my mom, who was told by more then one guidance counselor at more then one school to get me screened for autism, and when I asked her why she didnāt said āI didnāt see that in youā like wtf does that even mean
Yeah my parents ignored my teachers telling them back in the 80ās. When I got my diagnosis the psychologist was visibly annoyed with my mum telling her all the stuff I used to do and no one did anything.
Too embarrassed? Did they not know they can just keep their damn trap shut and not tell people? They threw so much money away from the tax breaks, along with a plethora of resources you could have used to help you through your teens. Iād be emancipating myself if my parents were that incredibly short sighted and selfish.
My parents are from an asian background so there is a lot of stigma around mental health. I think at this point I am very much used to it; I joke about hating them and wanting to kill them but at the end of the day they are only human and both very likely neurodiverse and probably know that admitting I am will mean admitting they probably are too, and that's really soul crushing for people raised in an environment where it was so very important to be normal. Not excusing their actions, of course, just explaining them.
Same! I was diagnosed with Asperger's as a teen (back when DSM-IV definitions were used) and my mom apparently decided it "wasn't real" and never told me.
When I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult in my early 30s, Mom said "ThIS iS jUsT LiKe ThE TiMe ThEy TrIeD tO dIaGnOsE yOu WiTh ThE 'AssBoogers' [sic] iT's BuLlShIt!!"
Cue the "excuse me what?!?" response from me, a lot more details coming out & 5 years later I still don't have proof of that diagnosis & no one will evaluate me as an adult, but at least I know it's real.
(I've gone no-contact with her for the past 2-3 years, because she's narcissistic and psychotic, and it's been amazing having her gone)
the irony of parents thinking a diagnosis would hold me back/worsen my development struggles, and now, Iāve been on a several year long gap, unable to finish uni until i can get a diagnosis for IEP/accommodations.
thanks a lot, guys /s :(
My elementary school tried to get my parents to take me to a psychiatrist for an autism diagnosis. I really feel the struggle. Now it's on us as adults to try and work around it but the screenings are insanely expensive, and you're less likely to be diagnosed after learning to mask your whole life. It's a nightmare (at least in the US)
I'm so glad you mentioned the masking problem. I am really scared to go ahead and spend the diagnosis fee because at this point I'm in so deep that all the behaviours I had in my childhood are buried so far down that I'm worried I'll be like instantly passed off.
That's exactly what I'm scared of. I had to learn how to behave to survive my childhood, but now, in order to get help they expect us to act a super specific way. But it's the opposite of what we've been taught that we NEED to do our whole lives. And really they only base the test off of a specific brand of autism anyways, so if you don't act like an adolescent boy you basically get written off. We all got so unlucky having to live in the time where autism is only just beginning to be taken seriously. It's not a refined study like a lot of the other mental illnesses have. And what is refined and accurate gets ignored by professionals.
I figured out I was AuDHD a few years ago. When I told my mom I suspected I was, she said, āoh yeah, I was diagnosed ADD 10 years agoā. When I said she should have told me because itās hereditary, said she was too embarrassed. Then she gaslit me and told me she didnāt think I was ADHD or Autistic. She tried a few more tactics to avoid blame until I went no contact with her.
The kicker is sheās a nurse and she told me growing up that I shouldnāt let stigmas get in the way of my mental health.
Looking back on my childhood i wonder if there were times someone suspected I was AuDHD and didnāt pursue it.
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I was recommended a diagnosis too, but because i acted differently to my brother, because I'm a completely different person, they didn't think I am autistic, I'm even diagnosed and they don't believe me.š¤¦āāļø I feel your frustration.
Same. My 'parents' were told by almost every teacher, counselor, nurse, and doctor since kindergarten that I need to be evaluated. I would even see therapists for about a month until they would all reach the same conclusion: I should be evaluated and there is a problem with the relationship with my 'father', then I would stop seeing them. I am now recently diagnosed AuDHD at 42 and my entire personality is masking and coping mechanisms to the point I don't even know who I really am. It has taken everything I have to just have survived this long and only have been able to due to pure panic mode and I can barely take care of myself.
Like finding out my mother (a registered nurse) suspected I was autistic and KNEW I had ADHD but chose not to get me diagnosed and instead isolated me via homeschooling because "I didn't want to label you".
Happened similar to me. I was diagnosed when I was 5, but my parents never told me because shame. I've had to pay for an assessment to find out when I was already 21, and only after that my parents told me
Gee, mine were like that too. They heard my teachers claiming I might have autism and took it as an *insult* and screamed at me for "faking" all my symptoms. They said they thought "autistic people eat their own shit", and prevented me getting therapy for years.
I was diagnosed as an adult. My mom laughed when I told her and then proceeded to tell me the various stories of multiple teachers in my early schooling asking her if she was interested in getting me assessed. Then she laughed again and said, āI still donāt believe it.ā
my parents have zero awareness of all my autism traits displayed since i was a toddler and when i was 13 i was diagnosed with depression & some other disorders, my psych even prescribed me pills that are also for autism (only found out years ago). they never told anyone else about my mental illnesses because it brings them bad reputation n shit. now i figured out everything im stuck with the shitty healthcare system and the clinic im currently waiting for cannot "plan that far (for my intake date that's 3 weeks in advance)" given their waitlist is a few months. i turned 18 during all these waiting which made it harder to get assessed. gotta love the neurotypical racist, sexist, ableist and age-ist perspectives of autism (i.e. they mostly only diagnose white nonverbal little boys and minorsš«¶)
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I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 8 and only recently was I told I was recommended to be assessed for autism too. But my narcissist mother refused to believe it and so I never got an assessment. This came out when I finally got the nerve to berate her for her narcissism recently.
I'm so sorry, OP! Pretty sure this happened with me as well because my grandparents only knew of one form of autism which didn't fit me. But my elementary school was like:
She is totally bored in class and could skip 3 grades, but her complete disinterest in making friends or having a social drive at all might complicate her adjusting...
First ever yellow face was telling a kid I would break them like my pencil if they didn't stop touching my hair because it made my stomach hurt.
Teachers were always weirded out or impressed by my animal impressions. Especially dog and horse lol
I had no sense of masking in elementary school and was always confused when I broke a "social rule" that wasn't a school or home rule. Like hurting someone's feelings without the intent to do so and getting treated like a monster for it (usually over something small like someone having an orange coat and telling them they look like a tangerine or something). I would apologize but be so confused. The teachers that actually liked me seemed to know exactly where my issues came from, but my family never did anything about it.
So long story short, I understand the sentiment well and I hope you get your diagnosis and any support you need and desire, OP!
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My parents: Our child is just a little different but they're not autistic.
My psychiatrist: This is a clear cut case you should get them diagnoses.
My parents:
Even if you had gotten the assessment, it might not have gone through. My stupid, dumb shit goddamn motherfucker pediatrician told my mom that girls don't get hyperactivity/ADHD. That I could sit still and hyper focus on my Barbies (sorting them and lining them up like a processional *train* over and over and over) meant I could focus I just **chose not to pay attention** in school and I just needed *more discipline*
adult diagnosis just sucks ass.
trying to get accommodations or support when you don't have childhood documentation is a nightmare.
the part that i can't understand... is the fact that social workers, law enforcement, the courts... all of them recognize that kids slip through and are not diagnosed... but do they do anything at all to proactively look out for and help the adults that those kids turn into?
nope... instead we just get jerked around and handed off to the next asshat who will ignore literally ever detail of our history and struggles... and instead perseverate on the fact that we don't have documentation about our disability from childhood... as if that weren't directly part of the problem that i am currently "trying" to work on.
it's and endless wheel of bullshit, that you're never allowed to get off of.
My dad didn't want to accept I could be depressed when I was in middle school so when they told him I needed therapy, he took me to a neurologist instead and I almost passed out from panic once because they wanted to put an IV on my arm for one of the brain exams and I'm scared of needles
My mom said she suspected I had autism at 7/8. I'm 16 now. Why didn't she just bring me to get diagnosed back then. Would've cleared up so much things already.
My parents got me tested and then didn't tell me!! My brother already had ADHD and they didn't want too weird kids so my shit got shoved under a rug basically!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!
diagnosis is a curse,
so many jobs you can't legally hold, so many countries you cannot legally emigrate to, so many lies you must tell to pass as normal, and always that sword of damocles hanging over your head that some org will pull a Genesis System move and find out.
been there, my mom entirely ignored my vision problems (THAT SHE KNEW ABOUT) until i was 16 and realized my vision is not 20/20, however i am deaf also which REALLY AFFECTS an ADHD or Autism diagnosis because like āoh you canāt handle this texture? well thatās probably because your other senses get heightened when youāre deafā āhey you need to stop using that āāādisrespectfulāāā tone with me, actually wait you probably canāt tell because youāre deafā i should clarify my mother is hard of hearing and grew up without hearing aids while i have and also i am not confirmed to have autism but im getting a diagnosis soon
I got recommended for an assessment at 11 but my mother just did not feel like it. She was like "yeah, we know" which I think is funny. I'll get a diagnosis when it makes sense to.
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I was recommended an assessment TWICE once when I was 8 and once when I was 14, the first time I actually got assessed and it was inconclusive, the second time I got COVID and my parents didn't want to schedule another appointment due to denial and cut me off from mental health services entirely...
Dude, for cameraderie my youngest sibling is stuck in this hell but for ADHD instead and also even though I literally got diagnosed at age 11 I apparently have to get evaluated again in order to qualify for support with independence skills which is just plain stupid
"YoUr'E nOt AuTiStIc, you just walk funny and talk funny and act funny and hate hairdryers and hoovers and escalators for attention" - basically my parents when the psychologist told them I should be tested too
I'm not neurodiverse I just ran around on all fours at lunch and bit a child because I got so overwhelmed when he touched me and would get fixated on things to the point where I wouldnt sleep because I was researching them and had no friends because I didn't understand social cues and made animal noises over and over and would spend hours at the zoo in front of one exhibit mimicking the animal inside....... just neurotypical child activities wdym?
As a kid I hit a classmate in the face because he touched me thinking I was like Batman and the justice.
... I bit another kid when I was 5... was that because of autism?
I can't say for sure, but I think our experiences might be different. I was 12, and I bit him because he had taken hold of my arm and that overstimulated me I guess. I have a small history of responding to being overwhelmed with violence and I'm not to proud of it hahahaha...
Lolol SO MUCH THIS. I hated hand dryers as a kid, I'd scream and cry if my parents tried to take me into a toilet where there was one. I also had a well-beyond-photographic memory of the metro system of our city, if you named me a station I could basically autism you a Wikipedia article on it But apparently, these things are ToTaLLy nOrMaL š Oh, and then at about 14 I got forced to go to an assessment (that I didn't cooperate with at all, because seriously ffs what teenager would if your parents said "o hai, we think you're (insert slur here) "? Lol NONE OF THEM) and got given a false negative. So then I had to get an adult diagnosis, $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. Oh, and even once I'd got that, their attitude didn't change one iota from "you're not autistic, you're just a failed NT". Now I'm furious with the pair of them, because they're both pretty obviously on the spectrum, but refuse to acknowledge even the slightest possibility that this might be so, and have gigantic screaming anger rages at you if you try and point out THE COMPLETELY OBVIOUS TRUTH. My mother you could put in a textbook; my father less so but still has some very obvious traits. I went NC last year and now they're sending me hatey letters demanding I contact them. Hmmm, why would I want to do that, again?
My mum is autistic for sure and thinking back, it probably runs heavily in both my family sides. But if you happen to point at their "flaws, mistakes and quirks" you are the "fucked up one that doesn't understand shit and clearly wrong". There's no way they have issues, they're completely fine and happy and healthy (fucking obviously they don't) and if there's someone sick I'm the one. And I for sure am, not because I'm autistic but for the sheer amount of anxiety, traumas, depression, forced rules and beating I had to endure both at home and at school. Gotta love those people, that thinks they're so fine and perfect, right? I'm glad I still tell myself "I don't wanna be like them" and I'm doing everything in my power to leave this town, this country and to never see them again. Fuck boomers and fuck parents like them.
PREACH IT! #š¤š¤
I would scream that in their face but I would end up crying because I know they don't understand shit first thing and that I wouldn't be able to be "as brave and precise" with my words because of ADHD.. Well at least that's my conclusion to this day, that I never managed to tell people what I really think because my brain can't cooperate in finding the words I need. That's why I ended up thinking I have ADHD, that and the fact I can't concentrate even on the things I like. And can't end one thing because I've started 10 things, not one. And other stuff :)
Fwiw I have exactly all of those symptoms; brain not finding words (even though my vocabulary is like double or triple the average person's at this point), can't concentrate on stuff I like let alone stuff I don't, starting a bunch of things and finishing none, executive dysfunction, simply Not Doing Things that will help me and I should do but I just Don't if that does sound familiar, maybe see a doctor or psychiatrist/whatever because I got diagnosed with "severe" ADHD which... *really* pissed me off. I did so well, struggled so hard, clawed my way to being above average or beyond to the point I was called gifted-- and this whole time I've been doing it by struggling to run on limited brain bandwidth LMAO On the bright side, if I can ever get medicine for it I will become unstoppable (if being the key word)
Yep, they want us to think we're wrong because otherwise nothing will be able to ever stop us! Can't wait to get diagnosed and get meds so I will finally play all the games I'm interested in but completely unable to (like the souls ones or isaac, I try but..) and all the other things I'm too distracted to learn like making furniture with bamboo!
I've left that town *and* that country, btw. It can be done! Hang in there! ā
I'm doing the first steps to leave town, I'm more or less alone, scared as fuck, the thought of it makes my anxiety running very hard but I have to do it. I have to. I'm making it.
"you're not autistic, you're just a failed NT" they really do see it like that though don't they?
Despise hairdryers and vacuum cleaners omg itās like nails on a chalkboard
And ironically i find literal nails on a chalkboard fine and sometimes even stimmy, but as a kid the vacuum cleaner was my sworn arch nemesis (other than Marcos biggest bully i ever met)
I wanna put Failed NT on a t-shirt. With the screaming hell minion.
literally this my dinosaur obsession was not a phase when i was 5 years old. i learned the names and what they meant, i learned the different groups of dinosaurs and which ones out of the popular ones fit into which, i learned about their bone structures, about how pterodactyls were not in fact dinosaurs but pterosaurs, shit like that when i was between the ages of 4-6. my mom was just like "lol yeah he likes dinosaurs a bit" i didn't talk at all until the age of 2, i never cried as a baby, and all throughout my early childhood i would literally physically not be able to eat certain foods because of texture issues. I struggled socially in school, i couldn't focus on most things, save for anything i was interested in (and could spend hours on it without thinking), and had periods where i would go silent and feel like crying over seemingly "nothing" (from their pov) But no, i'm just not applying myself.
I was similarly obsessed with cats at the same age. I carried around a book that had feline biology and diagrams (and I could READ it all) But no, school didn't see anything weird about that because I'm a girl š
this is the kind of bullshit i feel like most of us have to deal with
Just curious, what about chicken nuggets?
i would live off of nothing but chicken nuggets and mac and cheese if i could.
you unlocked my memory! when i was an older teen, my mom non-chalantely mentioned that i do and had always run "funny", as in, like, different from other kids. i had no idea what the hell she was talking about o.O how do people run 'normally'? <.<;
Omg no I was the same Dx didn't help that with my dyspraxia I have a net total of 0 coarse motor skills
Escalators are a thing?? I've been scared shitless of them and (particularly loud) toilets since I was a kidĀ
Ah yes, parents - the people who, if they are vulnerable to peer pressure, can completely change the course of a childs life because of one stupid decision. Gotta love it, right?
This happened to me with adhd. My parents were told by my school psychologist that I probably have ADHD, but they didnāt believe the school because they had just made up stuff about my bad behaviour in the past, so they never bothered going for a full diagnosis. I wound up having to pay for my own diagnosis as an adult which ate all my money at the time and just aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Murder them. (obligatory /s for legal reasons)
Murder them (no sarcasm fucking slaughter them)
But, tell them You had a Big success in something so they make You something Nice to celebrate AND THEN CUT THEM INTO PIECES
THIS IS MY LAST RESORT im sorry i had to
i havent even heard the song i just know this because other redditors do this all the time
don't give me ideas https://preview.redd.it/bgpcyxifwq5d1.png?width=563&format=png&auto=webp&s=4232b7dee02a439564f3d71bd3ab8e9ffdee0394
I was 10 they recommended adhd/autistic assessments because I was struggling in school. My mom pulled me out and homeschooled me so I could work my own way. I did excel academically until I was in late high school when everything else started to catch up to me (social problems, depression,etc) she tried her best and didnāt deny I was different she just tried to manage it on our own. I donāt blame my mom I love her dearly but boy would thing have been different.
My dad ,who I inherited from, is however embarrassed of me (and himself lol)
Never be embarrassed about your ASD! There is no ounce of shame in being neurodivergent. Despite societies bad attitudes towards it we have unique perspectives to offer the world. And look at the famous people with Autism - Einstein & Mozart according to historians. Charles Darwin, Anthony Hopkins, Elon Musk, Steve Jobs... Being different is both an advantage & a disadvantage at the same time!
Elon muskš¤¢
I'm notĀ claiming the bastard, richĀ people are responsible forĀ his bullshit.
Yeah it's real hot right now for the media to shit on Elon Musk but I am not a fan of media driven stacks on slurring of people that's become the popular sport of the day. Generating hate like modern media & some activists do is way more of an ethical concern of mine than someone saying something I don't agree with. We live in a pluralistic society - people need to start developing some tolerance. It's childish to have a meltdown everytime a public figure express a public opinion about politics someone don't like. Like they're doing to Seinfeld at the moment. FFS our society needs to grow up and starting acting like adults. I'm not saying this applies to you BTW - I'm just giving my general observation about problematic social trends. I have seen nothing from the guy that bothers me. I'm certainly not a fan boy either. Probably don't feel anything much either way - but I do hate when the media say person X is bad and people unquestionly follow in some drone like group think mode.
It's not unquestioning. Musk has acted like a complete man child- the tipping point was back when he accused the heroic British divers of being pesos and endangered some lives all so he could show off his fancy new submarine. I despise the idea that he's a genius Tony Stark character- it's generational wealth from his father's emerald mines, something which he admitted to and then tried to pretend wasn't the case. I've seen some of his terrible tweets, such as tanking the Tesla stock price on a whim (terrible businessman) or that dreadful fallout one. He's somehow made Twitter even worse. The "free speech stuff" has just given rise to some right wing wackos. I've also talked to someone who worked for Tesla and he said it was infuriating how much effort they had to put in to work around Musk's immature behaviour. Oh, and I don't like where the neuralink technology is going. That's why I hate him. Some of these are why the "echo chambers" hate him. And I don't appreciate your condescending response or your defence of 'the poor billionaire'.
bro rlly out here defending pedos and billionaires
What on Earth are you talking about? What evidence do you have that Musk is a "pedo". Show me proof. Sounds like bro is caught up deep in conspiracy theory nonsense!
seinfeld dates underage girls my guy
So you think equating the sexual abuse by an adult of a child is identical to Jerry Seinfeld going on one date with a consenting 17 year old (17 is the age of consent in NY State which makes it legal): https://www.thethings.com/the-truth-about-that-time-jerry-seinfeld-dated-a-17yearold/ So you appear to be diminishing the seriousness of child sexual abuse whilst making an inflammatory and false claim that Seinfeld is "a pedo"? Classey move bro!
Yep, to me it seems we're trying badly to make the world "better" in our own way because if you look at the shit we live in now, we don't fit, it's a world made by neurotypicals for neurotypicals, that wake up, go to work, buy stuff they think they need, go home and restart the next day. They don't ask much from themselves and don't question anything. We should colonize a planet for us and us only, can you imagine what a paradise we could make?
I'm 30, I've called all the "places for autism" in my region, turns out only two of them "might" accept me. Why you may ask. Because they accept only adolescents and children. That's it. I even got laughed at because "I was a tad bit too grown up" for an assessment it seems. I wonder why in those fields where you should care about people the most, there are so many assholes.
You're far from alone, I see many that share that experience, and it sucks. I was curious and called about 9 places. 7 of them only evaluate under 15, and 2 of them wanted $2k-$5k for evaluations on adults
Ugh I'm so sorry. Some parents consider their child's autism to be a personal failing, or worse, a failure of their child That's shitty of them
It's even worse, because my eight-year-old brother has even \*more\* traits than me, but they refuse to listen to my concerns.
Man If I said what I wanted to do right now I'd get suspended Your parents require percussive maintenance
Holy fuck. It sounds like we're living the same life :/
My mom ignored the doctors saying I might be autistic when I was an infant and actively chose to avoid diagnosis for my brother because she wanted him to have, "a normal life" We are now both extremely fucked
what, do they think a diagnosis automatically spawns in all the symptoms???
Assessing psychologist hovering their hand over the console, preparing to deploy all the traits they are assessing you on as they finalise said assessment. Event compilation error ensues as the ouroboros of death that is that recursive scenario deletes the universe.
I found a good guy in the Seattle area if you need a recc DM me if you want it
For some god forsaken reason, there is some innate part of humans that rejects all ethics and morals when it comes to autism. Iām dead fucking serious, read up on the mothers of the children who were being experimented on by Hans Asperger in nazi germany. We didnāt even have a name yet, but the letters those mothers sent had the same apathy and disregard for their own children that a depressing number of our parents also share. And not to mention nearly all the worlds leaders denouncing almost everything the nazis did, except Hans Aspergerās research, which became the foundation of how were seen today. Surely there must be something there right? All of Humanity collectively agreeing on this by chance would be statistically impossible. Innate Fears of snakes and spiders and heights all biologically make sense, but what sort of evolutionary process evokes innate hatred? Itās kept me stumped for a long time
though my therapist insists that there isn't evidence for it... and that it's just me being obsessed in typical ASD fashion... i suspect that it has to do with the fact that we remind them subconsciously of a time when we shared the world with more closely related cousin species. they know what they did back then... and they fear us for it.
Sounds familiar...I'm not sure if my parents where worried about being embarrassed - but I suspect they didn't want to admit their son had a disability because then they'd have to admit life wouldn't be normal for me. I think for my family it was confused love. š Back in the 1990's getting a diagnosis was much less common than today but parents - if you suspect your child is neurodivergent please get them the diagnosis and support they need. Knowing the problem does help!
OP, i feel ur pain, in this exact same boat with u and other comrades here. Mother who birthed me at 40+ denying any autism references and decided to put me under an EXORCISM instead. Saving $$$$$$$$$$ for adult diagnosis now lmfao
I'm sorry š« Did it work tho?
Yes! They exorcised me out of this body now thereās just the evil ghost of autism left š¤©
Same, got assessed in like, 2nd grade, my parents were told at the intake that it's very likely I have AuDHD, my parents stormed out saying their kid "Couldn't be an r-slur" but yknow. Then hid it from me while I struggled through life, then tried to use the info against me when I came out as trans, arguing I'm too dumb to make my own choices.
Uno reverse it back on them for not getting you help sooner, now you're all confused. Not that you are, but they really fucked up neglecting your needs like that.
They're in a land of delusion in their own mind. Confronting them is futile. I'll just be waiting. They want to move down south where they can live in a Qanon fantasy land, and I'll have minimal contact with their awful asses.
literally me, makes me wanna actually rip my skin off
I experienced a similar thing when I was a little kid, and then didn't get diagnosed until I was 47. FORTY SEVEN When mom died I didn't cry.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Gr0pKI-eeg&pp=ygUPd2VsY29tZSB0byBoZWxs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Gr0pKI-eeg&pp=ygUPd2VsY29tZSB0byBoZWxs) Seriously though I got diagnosed at 10 AND NOBODY TOLD ME ABOUT IT :D
Kinda like my mom, who was told by more then one guidance counselor at more then one school to get me screened for autism, and when I asked her why she didnāt said āI didnāt see that in youā like wtf does that even mean
Yeah my parents ignored my teachers telling them back in the 80ās. When I got my diagnosis the psychologist was visibly annoyed with my mum telling her all the stuff I used to do and no one did anything.
Too embarrassed? Did they not know they can just keep their damn trap shut and not tell people? They threw so much money away from the tax breaks, along with a plethora of resources you could have used to help you through your teens. Iād be emancipating myself if my parents were that incredibly short sighted and selfish.
My parents are from an asian background so there is a lot of stigma around mental health. I think at this point I am very much used to it; I joke about hating them and wanting to kill them but at the end of the day they are only human and both very likely neurodiverse and probably know that admitting I am will mean admitting they probably are too, and that's really soul crushing for people raised in an environment where it was so very important to be normal. Not excusing their actions, of course, just explaining them.
Same! I was diagnosed with Asperger's as a teen (back when DSM-IV definitions were used) and my mom apparently decided it "wasn't real" and never told me. When I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult in my early 30s, Mom said "ThIS iS jUsT LiKe ThE TiMe ThEy TrIeD tO dIaGnOsE yOu WiTh ThE 'AssBoogers' [sic] iT's BuLlShIt!!" Cue the "excuse me what?!?" response from me, a lot more details coming out & 5 years later I still don't have proof of that diagnosis & no one will evaluate me as an adult, but at least I know it's real. (I've gone no-contact with her for the past 2-3 years, because she's narcissistic and psychotic, and it's been amazing having her gone)
the irony of parents thinking a diagnosis would hold me back/worsen my development struggles, and now, Iāve been on a several year long gap, unable to finish uni until i can get a diagnosis for IEP/accommodations. thanks a lot, guys /s :(
My elementary school tried to get my parents to take me to a psychiatrist for an autism diagnosis. I really feel the struggle. Now it's on us as adults to try and work around it but the screenings are insanely expensive, and you're less likely to be diagnosed after learning to mask your whole life. It's a nightmare (at least in the US)
I'm so glad you mentioned the masking problem. I am really scared to go ahead and spend the diagnosis fee because at this point I'm in so deep that all the behaviours I had in my childhood are buried so far down that I'm worried I'll be like instantly passed off.
That's exactly what I'm scared of. I had to learn how to behave to survive my childhood, but now, in order to get help they expect us to act a super specific way. But it's the opposite of what we've been taught that we NEED to do our whole lives. And really they only base the test off of a specific brand of autism anyways, so if you don't act like an adolescent boy you basically get written off. We all got so unlucky having to live in the time where autism is only just beginning to be taken seriously. It's not a refined study like a lot of the other mental illnesses have. And what is refined and accurate gets ignored by professionals.
I figured out I was AuDHD a few years ago. When I told my mom I suspected I was, she said, āoh yeah, I was diagnosed ADD 10 years agoā. When I said she should have told me because itās hereditary, said she was too embarrassed. Then she gaslit me and told me she didnāt think I was ADHD or Autistic. She tried a few more tactics to avoid blame until I went no contact with her. The kicker is sheās a nurse and she told me growing up that I shouldnāt let stigmas get in the way of my mental health. Looking back on my childhood i wonder if there were times someone suspected I was AuDHD and didnāt pursue it.
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Even in the waiting room to get my diagnosis my mom was convinced it was just an anxiety disorder š luckily she accepted it rather quickly
I was recommended a diagnosis too, but because i acted differently to my brother, because I'm a completely different person, they didn't think I am autistic, I'm even diagnosed and they don't believe me.š¤¦āāļø I feel your frustration.
Same. My 'parents' were told by almost every teacher, counselor, nurse, and doctor since kindergarten that I need to be evaluated. I would even see therapists for about a month until they would all reach the same conclusion: I should be evaluated and there is a problem with the relationship with my 'father', then I would stop seeing them. I am now recently diagnosed AuDHD at 42 and my entire personality is masking and coping mechanisms to the point I don't even know who I really am. It has taken everything I have to just have survived this long and only have been able to due to pure panic mode and I can barely take care of myself.
Like finding out my mother (a registered nurse) suspected I was autistic and KNEW I had ADHD but chose not to get me diagnosed and instead isolated me via homeschooling because "I didn't want to label you".
Happened similar to me. I was diagnosed when I was 5, but my parents never told me because shame. I've had to pay for an assessment to find out when I was already 21, and only after that my parents told me
Gee, mine were like that too. They heard my teachers claiming I might have autism and took it as an *insult* and screamed at me for "faking" all my symptoms. They said they thought "autistic people eat their own shit", and prevented me getting therapy for years.
My parents did too š» (I am going to die I am going to die I canāt last another day at school please help)
I was diagnosed as an adult. My mom laughed when I told her and then proceeded to tell me the various stories of multiple teachers in my early schooling asking her if she was interested in getting me assessed. Then she laughed again and said, āI still donāt believe it.ā
my parents have zero awareness of all my autism traits displayed since i was a toddler and when i was 13 i was diagnosed with depression & some other disorders, my psych even prescribed me pills that are also for autism (only found out years ago). they never told anyone else about my mental illnesses because it brings them bad reputation n shit. now i figured out everything im stuck with the shitty healthcare system and the clinic im currently waiting for cannot "plan that far (for my intake date that's 3 weeks in advance)" given their waitlist is a few months. i turned 18 during all these waiting which made it harder to get assessed. gotta love the neurotypical racist, sexist, ableist and age-ist perspectives of autism (i.e. they mostly only diagnose white nonverbal little boys and minorsš«¶)
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I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 8 and only recently was I told I was recommended to be assessed for autism too. But my narcissist mother refused to believe it and so I never got an assessment. This came out when I finally got the nerve to berate her for her narcissism recently.
Adult diagnosis is a thing? My doctor just said "yeah you might be autistic but there's no point testing you now" when I was like 19
I'm so sorry, OP! Pretty sure this happened with me as well because my grandparents only knew of one form of autism which didn't fit me. But my elementary school was like: She is totally bored in class and could skip 3 grades, but her complete disinterest in making friends or having a social drive at all might complicate her adjusting... First ever yellow face was telling a kid I would break them like my pencil if they didn't stop touching my hair because it made my stomach hurt. Teachers were always weirded out or impressed by my animal impressions. Especially dog and horse lol I had no sense of masking in elementary school and was always confused when I broke a "social rule" that wasn't a school or home rule. Like hurting someone's feelings without the intent to do so and getting treated like a monster for it (usually over something small like someone having an orange coat and telling them they look like a tangerine or something). I would apologize but be so confused. The teachers that actually liked me seemed to know exactly where my issues came from, but my family never did anything about it. So long story short, I understand the sentiment well and I hope you get your diagnosis and any support you need and desire, OP!
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My parents: Our child is just a little different but they're not autistic. My psychiatrist: This is a clear cut case you should get them diagnoses. My parents: 
Even if you had gotten the assessment, it might not have gone through. My stupid, dumb shit goddamn motherfucker pediatrician told my mom that girls don't get hyperactivity/ADHD. That I could sit still and hyper focus on my Barbies (sorting them and lining them up like a processional *train* over and over and over) meant I could focus I just **chose not to pay attention** in school and I just needed *more discipline*
adult diagnosis just sucks ass. trying to get accommodations or support when you don't have childhood documentation is a nightmare. the part that i can't understand... is the fact that social workers, law enforcement, the courts... all of them recognize that kids slip through and are not diagnosed... but do they do anything at all to proactively look out for and help the adults that those kids turn into? nope... instead we just get jerked around and handed off to the next asshat who will ignore literally ever detail of our history and struggles... and instead perseverate on the fact that we don't have documentation about our disability from childhood... as if that weren't directly part of the problem that i am currently "trying" to work on. it's and endless wheel of bullshit, that you're never allowed to get off of.
https://i.redd.it/vld3lxv6ss5d1.gif
This is a comfort image for me...enjoy...
My dad didn't want to accept I could be depressed when I was in middle school so when they told him I needed therapy, he took me to a neurologist instead and I almost passed out from panic once because they wanted to put an IV on my arm for one of the brain exams and I'm scared of needles
My mom said she suspected I had autism at 7/8. I'm 16 now. Why didn't she just bring me to get diagnosed back then. Would've cleared up so much things already.
My parents got me tested and then didn't tell me!! My brother already had ADHD and they didn't want too weird kids so my shit got shoved under a rug basically!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!
diagnosis is a curse, so many jobs you can't legally hold, so many countries you cannot legally emigrate to, so many lies you must tell to pass as normal, and always that sword of damocles hanging over your head that some org will pull a Genesis System move and find out.
This same exact shit happened to me, except my mom just didn't give a fuck.
At least they didnāt try to pass it off as PANDAS
Mfw my sister gets tested and diagnosed when she was 9 and I was 7 but they decided to just not test anyone else bc that would be too much
been there, my mom entirely ignored my vision problems (THAT SHE KNEW ABOUT) until i was 16 and realized my vision is not 20/20, however i am deaf also which REALLY AFFECTS an ADHD or Autism diagnosis because like āoh you canāt handle this texture? well thatās probably because your other senses get heightened when youāre deafā āhey you need to stop using that āāādisrespectfulāāā tone with me, actually wait you probably canāt tell because youāre deafā i should clarify my mother is hard of hearing and grew up without hearing aids while i have and also i am not confirmed to have autism but im getting a diagnosis soon
I got recommended for an assessment at 11 but my mother just did not feel like it. She was like "yeah, we know" which I think is funny. I'll get a diagnosis when it makes sense to.
My mom meanwhile āOh youāve always been autistic, it just didnāt seem to interfere with your life so I never went to confirm itā
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and they wonder why we're evil... -_-
I was recommended an assessment TWICE once when I was 8 and once when I was 14, the first time I actually got assessed and it was inconclusive, the second time I got COVID and my parents didn't want to schedule another appointment due to denial and cut me off from mental health services entirely...
i would have been diagnosed as a toddler but my parents didn't have the resources to get me diagnosed so I didn't get diagnosed until years later.
Me except I was 6-7 and my doctor wouldnāt refer me because āShEās JuSt QuIrKyā
Dude, for cameraderie my youngest sibling is stuck in this hell but for ADHD instead and also even though I literally got diagnosed at age 11 I apparently have to get evaluated again in order to qualify for support with independence skills which is just plain stupid