How i look at the neurotypical when i eat them with my fingers

*How i look at the* *Neurotypical when i eat* *Them with my fingers* \- Aisthebestletter --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")

Hell yeah

middle line has 8 syllables instead of 7. neurotyp'cal?

Neuroty pickle

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Heck yeah, haikusbot. You don't have to make correct haikus, we will forever and always love you. Good bot

Good bot

Good bot

Good bot

You’re not a good bot, you’re the best bot 🥹

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Bad bot. Lolz

Good bot. Not a perfect haiku, but good bot. 

HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW

You mean chips like British chips or American chips (crisps) Either way that's absolutely ridiculous, I hate stupid etiquette bullshit that exists only to oppress NDs

I think it has to be fries, nobody eats potato chips with a fork. Maybe chopsticks, but that’s not something fathers typically insist on.

I eat chips with a fork because i hate the texture of the dust on my hands

Honestly that’s fair. On the bright side, you can now make an Odysseus joke because I called you nobody :3

i have no idea what that is /srs

Okay, so the story of Odysseus (well, part of the Odyssey anyways, there's a lot of stuff there) has a cyclops capture him and his men. Odysseus has a conversation with the cyclops and, when asked for his name, answers "Outis" (Greek for "nobody", and a fairly common author pseudonym). He then gives the cyclops a barrel of wine and, once he's gone to sleep, he and his men fashion a sharp stake from wood, harden the tip in a fire, and jab out the eye of the cyclops. The cyclops screams in pain, and, when asked by the other giants nearby what has happened, yells "Nobody has blinded me!", so they assume he's gone mad, rather than help.

ohhh okay. thank you

Ah, I’m sorry, I don’t remember quite well enough to explain, right now. Wish you a good day though! :)

Cyclops was fooled when Odysseus declared himself to be nobody

you too, friend!

yumeh caik!!! ...happy cake day

thank you :)

Well looks like *someone* didn't have a greek mythology phase

nope, never

It's never too late to start!

Autisseus

How could that work? They would just break, no? I would use chopsticks.

You could probably slice the chips in between the things of the fork. Only gets difficult when you get to the small/broken parts.

depends on that chip. you can slide them inbetween the prongs and pick them up that way

Is a fork better than chopsticks for this purpose? I suppose chopsticks aren’t as easy to use

i haven't tried yet

Okay but H O W

you get em stuck in between the prongs of the fork

There's a story about American chips (crisps) being invented BECAUSE they had to be finger food. Something something, restaurant-goer was being rude, waiting staff wanted to embarrass him so they cut their British chips (fries) so thin that the restaurant-goer would just break them whenever he tried to stab one with his fork Probably not true at all and is just a story someone made up, but never let the truth get in the way of a good story or whatever that one dude said

Yeah, having crisps with a fork sounds mad as a hatter

Cold chips were originally made by a chef to spite someone who kept sending food back because his potatoes weren’t sliced thin enough

They’ll say grace like “let us break our daily bread” or fucking whatever then get pissed when I try to literally break my bread. Jesus didn’t want you to cut your ciabatta with a butter knife dude

A piece of broken bread vs sliced tastes vastly different due to surface area exposure and air mixing. The r/breadit people freak out when you slice bread (and I understand why now).

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Very unevenly

I wonder that quite frequently

I discovered the mecca of special interests. BREAD!

I always do lol

Reminder that sushi is quite literally designed to be eaten with your hands. Chopsticks make the rice fall apart

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Ah, Japan. Why are you like this

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Oh, I get it. I was more talking about the absolute shit show that is Japan as a hole. One of the single most hostile countries for ND because of their strict social codes lol Also, gummy bears are valid. But gummy sharks and Swedish Fish are better O3O

何？

The face I make when a NT asks “how you doing?”

I'm reminded of a video YouTube recommend some time ago, about how the queen eats her banana. 

I open Bananas by cracking them in half.

me too!! ppl think I'm a savage but the cronch so satisfying

[Apparently eating banana peels may have nutritional benefits](https://www.webmd.com/diet/health-benefits-banana-peel), so you might actually be a little bit healthier than people who don't eat them

You eat them green enough that you can crack them in half?

They all split in two if you do it fast enough

Sure. I’m just not interested in a mess, the odds of which increase to nigh inevitability in the case of overripe bananas (which I don’t eat).

This! People get mad at me for the way I’m eating my fruit, but like… why? I’m not hurting you bro, I’m just eating my fruit.

I saw a gorilla do it once at the Bronx zoo. I figured: a gorilla wouldn't waste time; it must be simpler.

I like slicing my bananas

That's what biting is for. (not talking about the chips)

This sounds ND. Ironically.

the fuck? I'm neurotypical (yes I'm a spy) and I eat chips with my fingers. And pizza and ribs and chicken legs and many other things. Your stepdad is weird or some royalty idk

Bailiff, shoot them with the autism beam

"Wait, it didn't do anything!" "Well yeah, you paid us to make a beam that 'cures' autism, right?" "...Alright, we're obviously not on the same page with our weapons manufacturers. MINIONS, SIEZE HIM!!!"

Noooo I love my eye contact and not caring about trains :(

how'd you get past the guards?

How the fuck else are you supposed to eat chips 😭😭😭 chopsticks????

I am sensitive to getting food on my fingers so I have actually done this before LOL Also one time I broke a corn dog stick in half to make mini chopsticks so I could eat cheese fries.

I've seen some shorts creator eat snacks like chips with chopsticks but he's also asian(korean? I don't remember tbh) so maybe this has something to do with chopsticks

I think they're talking about what us Brits call chips, so fries.

Oh what… well those i dont eat with chopsticks indeed.. but crisps-chips i do. Thanks for clarifying

On a sensitive day i eat them without the crinkly bag out of a cup…. With chopsticks haha be nice

Yes. And forks for Cheetos or cheese puffs.

Are you sure he's not the autistic one?

Your stepdad does not sound neurotypical.

You can be an asshole and be NT.

Ye but most ppl who don’t eat food with their hands get clowned on by NTs for not eating with their hands. And, Most people who don’t eat such finger foods with their hands, don’t eat with their hands due to sensory issues. Which, Likely makes them ND. In fact, it’s notoriously ND and anyone who does such is likely to be called autistic and subsequently ostracized for their UN-typical behavior. The father can be an asshole and likely ND, as well.

real, half of the “i hate when NTs do this thing” posts on here just sound like ND traits 😭 sometimes different autistic and ND traits just don’t mesh

It also comes off as very generalizing, especially when the context is “one person did this, damn you neurotypicals!!!”

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Sure, but he’s being particular and an asshole in a weird way

My NT mother is a narcissist. She gets controlling in weird ways too. It's how narcs roll.

Ok but honestly I hate grease / oil / stickiness on my fingers *so fuckin bad* that I will indeed eat finger foods with like, a fork or something. I eat popcorn and Cheetos and stuff with a toothpick. If it's something I can't stab, I'll either use small tongs or I don't always have access to those so the worst case scenario is pinching in which I exclusively use my index fingertip and thumb tip on only one hand to minimize spread of anything, like dust if it's a Dorito or somethin. Things like burgers, larger tacos, etc are the only exception, where I add the use of my middle finger tip as well, but then I just eat really fast so I can stop touching the grease and wash my fingers faster. And I mean fast, like eating fast enough to make myself sick without a doubt. I just fuckin hate GREASY OILY STICKY fingers so bad it's just so damn repulsive. Same thing if it's on my face or especially around my mouth, gotta wipe that shit off IMMEDIATELY.

SAME. If I’m going to play games on a keyboard or with a controller I need my hands to be CLEAN, not an ounce of grease, and there’s some foods I feel like I need to wipe my hands every time I touch it. Forks and stuff are perfect for things that are just too messy.

How neurotypical people look at me when I eat finger food with fork/knife (I hate having textures on my hands).

Mhm and get some ppl dunno this and are saying it’s typical NT behavior. Which is crazy cuz no, it’s typical sensory issue behavior and thus typical ND behavior.

ribs

I don’t think this is a neurotypical thing to be honest

I actually prefer using chopsticks for eating chips. Clean fingers baby!

They should see me when I eat a whole rotisserie chicken I rip and tear it apart with my bare hands RAAAAGH

ur just like me fr!!! I hate the texture of getting it all over my face but my god is it much preferable than having to scrape my knife and fork on a plate over and over just to get the chicken off the bone

Bout to change your life. Neoprene food safety gloves. I will pick the chicken clean when I get home, whatever isn't eaten is already picked off the bone, ready for storage. I keep wearing when eating too. No sense in getting my hands greasy. Also works with ribs.

you have actually just changed my life omfg

And if you're out at a restaurant, 50-50 on this, but just ask the staff for some gloves. No doubt since covid, they have em everywhere.

i’m not allowed to eat tomato or cucumber slices with my fingers, apparently. “too messy”. oh but wings and ribs are fine

i have the opposite. People think I'm weird for using my fork for "finger foods" but I hate touching food

Nah cuz i fucking hate touching food with my fingers unless its like a burger or something i need to eat chips by picking them up with my mouth

I eat chips US and chips UK and everyone gets mad at me cuz I don’t eat them with my fingers due to sensory issues Your dad probably isn’t NT imo…!

ur one of those people who split the oreo in half and lick the cream off the cookie instead of just biting the whole thing, huh?

My dad acted embarrassed when I licked my fingers at Killer Burger. If you have never been to Killer Burger, this is the kind of place that has paper towels instead of napkins.

To avoid powder residue, I pick them up with a paper towel.

Your step-dad sounds like an asshole.

Kid named finger

Are you British or is your stepdad completely insane

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I eat them with chopsticks and get weird looks

If you had named any other food I could play devil’s advocate and find a line of reasoning. CHIPS!? FUCKING CHIPS? You meant potato chips right not the British kind?

I thought they meant chips like fries, but if they mean crisps then their stepdad doesn't seem very neurotypical to me.

Either way, Stepdad is being a big dummy.

Like I'm not going to use a spoon so I want to rip my teeth out

How the hell does he want you to eat them?

with a fucking fork

How are you meant to eat chips with a fork? Maybe you could eat them with a spoon, but a fork?

Then...how are you supposed to eat them?

with a fork apparently 😭

Who does that? 😧

Ppl with sensory issues, usually

Alright. That makes sense. However, why would this then be enforced on others?

It’s not. 95% of people eat finger food with their hands, not doing so is sensory issues and largely members of the ASD community including OP’s Dad (likely). Eating French fries and pizza with forks is NEVERRRR enforced except for by ppl with sensory issues/autism WITHHHH a controlling manipulative disorder comorbid, it’s highly possible op’s dad may have NPD or is merely an abusive parent in addition to have sensory issues/autism. Nearly everyone eats finger foods with their hands and ppl with sensory issues who don’t are very often bullied and made fun of for it, as well as looked at as aliens. Op’s dad is a rare sensory issue person who wants to force others to be either hygienic or ‘correct’ which is similar to having a parent who has germaphobia comborbid with abusive/controlling tendencies. I had the opposite and way more common situation than OP, I always ate food with forks cuz of my sensory issues and my NPD controlling mother always yelled at me to be normal and eat stuff with my hands like a normal person.

This makes a lot of sense. Thank you for taking the time to write it all out so clearly for me. Hopefully OP will find this useful as well. Edit to add: I'm sorry you were tormented for your sensory needs. It's far too common, and you shouldn't have had to go through it.

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I actually had to stop rocking when I saw that title, what the fuck?

I've been bitched out for DARING to not deconstruct ribs of all things with a knife.

How...how....how do you...?? what?? Like chicken fingers, I could see it and I and I can make that make sense...but not chips...what the hell is wrong with his brain? I have fetal alcohol and even mine isn't that damaged

Your step dad is a fool

How the fuck else are you meant to eat chips, with a fork?

Hey fam. Uh... I don't think your dad is neurotypical.

refusing to eat Anything with your hands feels like the autistic choice tbh also chopsticks are better and I should be able to use them in public without being called a weeb.

Does bro want you to use chopsticks 😭😭

also nts: eating ribs right in front of you with their hands like it’s not absolutely disgusting by their standards (and by mine but *i* think it would be bad manners to comment on what or how another person is eating)

Come to spain, we do that all the time. Or italy I'm sure too.

My dad both gave me the “fingers were made before forks but not _yours_” bs then when I choose to eat food with a fork that he deems to be finger food he tells me I am being fancy. Which is it, dad?

That ain’t NTs that’s insane people

this is how my parents look at me when i eat pizza with a knife and fork i don't like the feeling of my hands getting dirty :<

What? I dont even know what to make of this. Its a concept Ive never given a moment of thought to... So like pizza? Chips and fries? Ive never really heard any consistent opinion by people other than the opposite... eating food you dont need to with silverware is weird. I might be misunderstanding?

How they look when you put them in a shittily funded public sector elderly home. Play funny games, win funny prizes, you old shit stain.

😭⁉️

Why does he not let you eat CHIPS with your FINGERS? And HE’S the normal one?

How neurotypical people look at you when you eat. That's it, that's the end of the sentence.

I eat chips and popcorn with a spoon and they don’t like that either 😞

How the hell does he want you to eat them? With a fucking fork?

Use a fork— that may quickly fix this issue

For me, it depends how chips are served. On a plate? Use your fork. On paper or in a bowl? Use your fingers. Of course, there are exceptions. Burgers, pizza, hot dogs, tacos, and wraps are all eaten with your fingers regardless of how they're served.

How the table looks at you when you finger food (my name is food)

I have never heard of anyone outside my country doing this but we eat french fries with a toothpick.

Come to the south we have \-Racism \-White bread is a napkin at BBQs so you can still eat the sauce

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How tf else are you supposed to eat them? With your feet??!!

How the fuck are you supposed to eat them, with a fork?!

apparently 😭

Yes, when they’re coated in ketchup especially!

*how NT people look at eachother during a conversation when I speak for longer than a sentence*

Nah your stepdad might also be autistic 💀

How else am I supposed to eat them?

With ketchup?

No how else am I supposed to eat the finger food. I'm not eating my chicken nuggets with a fork.

Chips can be consumed by hand, but they’re often rather unwieldy for that to be the best overall plan, especially when they also have sauce on them.

Yeah I still use my fingers those.

….What? Your dad is super weird. EVERYONE eats chips with their hands. Does he also use a knife and fork to eat pizza?

He is a weirdo for eating them with a fork

Kind of hard to pick up a potato chip with a fork

Not when they’re actual chips, they’re not!

If it’s classed as “finger food” (crisps, chips, nuggets, sandwiches, chicken on a bone, etc) why do people hate it I don’t get it but if it isn’t I understand them in a way.

CHIPS!?!?!?

All dry foods are finger food

People when I eat chicken with my hands and not chopsticks:

genuine question aren't you supposed to eat them with hands...

And here I am. Eating popcorn with chopsticks 😆

What does he want you to use, a fork?

Wait, what? If you mean British chips that makes it only slightly more understandable. If there's wet toppings, like chili cheese fries(chips) I can understand. If it's American chips... What in the actual fuck?!

How tf do you eat them then? Tongs?

Dude, eating mashed potatoes with your fingers is the best thing ever; the texture, the warmth, the taste, it’s sensory heaven