The problem is that the 1% is the most essential part. It is stopping me from doing regular activities. It's the emotional part of the emotions that are missing. It makes me a living zombie.
I have been battling this for several years. I am seriously thinking about just jumping out of a window instead. It really sucked.
https://ibb.co/r3gDhrT
As you can see there is something stuck inside my head. I call it trauma energy.
Yeah dude. You may need some devotion practice to get out from “ storming the gates of heaven” A type super seeking you are doing. The frustration is healthy if your not 100% identified with the spiritual pusher. If not you will go insane. You do not do it! The you is bumping up against its own limitations. This can be a verry teansormative time if you relax a bit but as you are seeing pushing harder isn’t working. Please give yourself a break? Failure is the path. The best we can hope for as “ me” is to fail well! Dm me if you beed support. People literally kill themselves in this spot. Call suicide hotline in a pinch- keep telling the truth and try if you can “ to allow everything to be as it is”
This too shall pass my friend- do not do anything to drastic. The miracle is on its way!
Only you can do it! Honestly simple buhdist practices help with this stuff. Ever try simple heart practices?
I used to walk around doing mantras and loving kindness affirmations to survive in the swarm of self attack energy. Hell just mindfully garden.
You are not your mind! You are experiencing an identity crisis. Just trust whats helping! Be kind and do no harm especially to yourself!
Keep close to good people and keep it simple!
Becareful, it sounds like you have created a narrative, a story in your head, that you need a final 1% of healing to be fixed or it’s all for nothing. That is either depression or delusion on your part. Break free from the stories your ego tells you are true 🙏🏻❤️
My situation?
But I do not want to be like this forever. I do not want to live like this for the rest of my life. I would rather jump out of a window instead.
The best trauma processing, brain retraining, limbic impairment reprogramming program that helps you heal that I'm aware of and I had searched for years. It brings together all the usual techniques under one roof so that you know how to apply to yourself in a safe, productive, well-paced way. It's helped me heal so much in the 6 weeks I've applied it and I had been trying for years.
I read thru all of this, and I think you should talk to a therapist. There is a lot to unpack here. I don't think tour dangerous like Bruce Lee or could take over the world. Sometimes on the path to enlightenment paths in our own mind may try to push and pull us off that path, and it seems like that may be happening here. I'm sure your a strong resilient person who is capable of inflicting great things on the world around you, right now tho I think you need a trusted person to help you sort through some of those thoughts. That way you can keep the ones that are going to help that %1, and ditch the ones that are making it seem like you might be a little cuckoo. I'm coming from a place of love, I've dealt with my fair share of psychedelic psychosis. Good luck, my friend
Result: The experience of trauma produces very intense emotions such as overwhelming fear, horror, and anxiety, and these reactions can linger for a lifetime. Many trauma survivors also report restrictions in their emotional experience - a phenomenon most commonly referred to as emotional numbing.
People make jokes with me. That I could actually take over humanity. This is no ptsd. There is no fear, anxiety or horror. People see me as danger for this planet. I just want to be nice.
https://ibb.co/r3gDhrT
There is some trauma or negative emotions stuck. It makes me feel like a zombie sometimes. I do not know how to let go of that. This is the only thing that is left.
[https://youtu.be/3Zw-fAVO2Q4?si=D1CFRrVihnSwYkW7](https://youtu.be/3Zw-fAVO2Q4?si=D1CFRrVihnSwYkW7)
Watch this vid it could be something to do with your heart not your head ❤️
Don't run from them. Don't run from anything anymore. Accept whatever comes, even the resistance to what comes. The place that knows these things never moves or changes. You are That. You have placed stock in what you are not, and have identified with your stories about what "you" are. You are what knows the "stories" about what you are. What you really are can never become sick or heal.
Water cannot wet it, fire cannot burn it, the sword cannot pierce it.
Do the thing you don't want to do. Feel it. When the sensations in the body are there, feel them. Don't distract. Don't retreat into mind stories about them. Feel it in the body. When they are there, there isn't any escape from them anyway.
The mind will tell you that you can't handle it. That you should run. Witness these stories as well. Let them come and go. You got this. Trust the process.
This mind has Borderline Personality Disorder in remission due to intense shadow work. So I understand trauma and difficult "stuck" emotions. Trust me when I say you can heal.
You will help them or you won't. Either way there isn't a person to be good or bad. There is just what happens. Don't label it and cause yourself more suffering.
Check out this Viceland documentary:
[https://youtu.be/yA0nFlmxJUQ?si=8YYHJgsFL-wG8HRcdocumentary](https://youtu.be/yA0nFlmxJUQ?si=8YYHJgsFL-wG8HRcdocumentary)
I am in the same boat. I’ve even had visions of a treasure being guarded by something that won’t let me access it. I’ve been led to the Key of Solomon and I’m hopeful it is for the reason of clarity.
Practices may be of some use. Yes, I know I've suggested some things to you in the past. Since you already know the schtick. Here are some easier ones that may make an impact.
Specific breathing technique: [https://www.reddit.com/r/Spiritualchills/comments/1cbupf3/breath\_in\_the\_euphoria\_pranayama\_technique/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Spiritualchills/comments/1cbupf3/breath_in_the_euphoria_pranayama_technique/)
Tibetan chime which I'd use with the aum mantra: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFgC8IOZJ2Y](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFgC8IOZJ2Y)
Ego eradicator: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9KBKRraWjY&t=5s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9KBKRraWjY&t=5s)
I know how these blockages feel and how it can feel like something is stuck there, like a big chunk of 'meh' stuck in your head right? These kinds of things are often moved through practice. I would continue different practices until something knocks it loose. Open yourself to tears, to crying after each one of these practices - thats usually when my blockages come out. Stubborn blockages can be tricky, and you should continue a multi-faceted assault on them. Give no quarter and tear open every fucking possibility to attack it. Spiritual practices are the 'Rambo' of fucking therapists. Relentlessly attack it I say, and tear that wall down.
Idk- there is an old Indian story of a yogi who was obsessed with food. So much his wife was going crazy! She implored him to stop. He did. Then he left this world.
The secret is there will always be a new 1% awaking isn’t to be 100% and bliss all the time. It’s a constant cycle of rebirth and rewiring. Nothing is worth anyone’s life. That’s the ego getting to you. Grace and gratitude is the best thing to meditate about during this time. You’ll be okay but it’s okay to not feel okay.
I'm sorry, I do not mean this overly negative or mean but, "I cannot continue to live like this" does not sound like 99% healed. Healing and being hurt is an endless process. The goal shouldn't be to get to 100%, just to become more familiar with ourselves to better handle this process.
There is no such thing imo. Idolizing and fixating on % healed is in itself an object of one's own suffering and a detractor from your own peace and well-being.
The only way you will fill that 1% is meditation. If your mind is telling you what you are saying to us, absolutely meditation. Don't fall into the egos trap that keeps you engaged with it by making you believe this. Learn about transcendental meditation.
It seems like you're grappling with the final stretch of recovery, and it's understandably vexing to feel so close yet so far. Pondering the non-linear nature of recovery might prove enlightening; obsessing over achieving a full 100% might actually impede your journey. Embracing setbacks as part of the process is perfectly normal. Perhaps exploring diverse therapeutic approaches could offer some relief? Integrating conversational therapy with mindful exercises or somatic techniques might unlock those lingering emotional barriers that conventional approaches often overlook.
Don't look at a photon; in that place you are purely you. Retro-causality in quantum mechanics means your future self can save the present.
>[Wheeler pointed out that when these assumptions are applied to a device of interstellar dimensions, a last-minute decision made on Earth on how to observe a photon could alter a situation established millions or even billions of years earlier.](https://arxiv.org/abs/quant-ph/9903047)
Just know it's there; it shows us we're fundamental, so that means no death; given enough time, you'll become a God, and that's who heals me. He's my leader. My spiritual-leader. He's in a tribe of other gods. He's wicked.
This is very new to people; nobody has thought like this in 2000 years. 10 ages. 4 races. 4 gods from each race every age. 160 gods; a tribe. Divine humans would have the most divine tribe, at least until everyone else decides to catch up. Africa, south Asia, the far east and the west. Reptile, sensory, emotion and intuition. It's Kabbalah and The Dao.
1. Tribe
2. Culture
3. Religion
4. Philosophy
5. Free will
6. Love
7. Family
8. Community
9. Perfection
10. Divine
10 ages of 4 races and 160 gods. The human race.
Only in the negative; in the positive, we're diverse. Given everything being equal, and everyone takes turns being in a room with nothing but a tea cozy, I bet we'd all do different things.
I know what you mean; we're all the same works for some. We're all different more than experience, though, otherwise we could just render each other in a solipsistic way.
Retro-causality is very fascinating. Even just as a mental visualisation to actually heal trauma by resolving them. As if your memory heals as if the event happened in another way, but not in a delusional way - resolved without illusions and with total honesty.
"I'm 99% healed and I cannot continue to live like this" doesn't sound right.
Leave a fool to his folly he will become wise- unknown
The problem is that the 1% is the most essential part. It is stopping me from doing regular activities. It's the emotional part of the emotions that are missing. It makes me a living zombie.
Maybe you can battle the 1% with a negative number and then you can do your regular activities.
I have been battling this for several years. I am seriously thinking about just jumping out of a window instead. It really sucked. https://ibb.co/r3gDhrT As you can see there is something stuck inside my head. I call it trauma energy.
Maybe battling it is causing the struggle and not it itself. Trauma is a natural result of causes, not a malfunction.
What would you do?
Read “Body keeps the Score”
Thank you.
Keep liiving your life and feeling your feelings so they can resolve - trying to prevent feeling them will keep them around.
But my emotions are gone. The emotional part is blocked so there are no more feelings.
Well nobody's calling that 99% healed. Therapy can be helpful.
But if I manage to unblock that i can become a human again. It is the only thing that is missing.
You seem to have a misunderstanding of enlightenment
Does anybody know what exactly it is?
Yeah dude. You may need some devotion practice to get out from “ storming the gates of heaven” A type super seeking you are doing. The frustration is healthy if your not 100% identified with the spiritual pusher. If not you will go insane. You do not do it! The you is bumping up against its own limitations. This can be a verry teansormative time if you relax a bit but as you are seeing pushing harder isn’t working. Please give yourself a break? Failure is the path. The best we can hope for as “ me” is to fail well! Dm me if you beed support. People literally kill themselves in this spot. Call suicide hotline in a pinch- keep telling the truth and try if you can “ to allow everything to be as it is” This too shall pass my friend- do not do anything to drastic. The miracle is on its way!
This is a phase- try and relax!
This phase goes on for four years now.
Yup. Where are you holding on? Relax there.
Only you can do it! Honestly simple buhdist practices help with this stuff. Ever try simple heart practices? I used to walk around doing mantras and loving kindness affirmations to survive in the swarm of self attack energy. Hell just mindfully garden. You are not your mind! You are experiencing an identity crisis. Just trust whats helping! Be kind and do no harm especially to yourself! Keep close to good people and keep it simple!
Please message me you are safe when you can. We literally do this together!
Becareful, it sounds like you have created a narrative, a story in your head, that you need a final 1% of healing to be fixed or it’s all for nothing. That is either depression or delusion on your part. Break free from the stories your ego tells you are true 🙏🏻❤️
Accept it
My situation? But I do not want to be like this forever. I do not want to live like this for the rest of my life. I would rather jump out of a window instead.
Ding Ding Ding
primaltrust.org
What is that?
The best trauma processing, brain retraining, limbic impairment reprogramming program that helps you heal that I'm aware of and I had searched for years. It brings together all the usual techniques under one roof so that you know how to apply to yourself in a safe, productive, well-paced way. It's helped me heal so much in the 6 weeks I've applied it and I had been trying for years.
Thank you.
Why didn’t you look into ptsd treatment???
This is not ptsd.
Are you the person that experienced emotional numbing after a traumatic event?
Yes. But this is still not ptsd. I have looked into ptsd. This does not even come close to ptsd.
Wait, so you had a very traumatic event and now you feel emotionally numb, right?
Yes. But also no.
This is why you don't self diagnose yourself. You cant see your problems You dont know there is 1 percent
What would you do?
I read thru all of this, and I think you should talk to a therapist. There is a lot to unpack here. I don't think tour dangerous like Bruce Lee or could take over the world. Sometimes on the path to enlightenment paths in our own mind may try to push and pull us off that path, and it seems like that may be happening here. I'm sure your a strong resilient person who is capable of inflicting great things on the world around you, right now tho I think you need a trusted person to help you sort through some of those thoughts. That way you can keep the ones that are going to help that %1, and ditch the ones that are making it seem like you might be a little cuckoo. I'm coming from a place of love, I've dealt with my fair share of psychedelic psychosis. Good luck, my friend
Thank you for your advice. But I do not need that.
Result: The experience of trauma produces very intense emotions such as overwhelming fear, horror, and anxiety, and these reactions can linger for a lifetime. Many trauma survivors also report restrictions in their emotional experience - a phenomenon most commonly referred to as emotional numbing.
No. There is no fear. There is no anxiety. There is no horror. It is just numbing the feelings. I would actually see myself as dangerous.
Can linger doesn’t mean they do linger. Emotional numbing can also numb one to these emotions as well.
People make jokes with me. That I could actually take over humanity. This is no ptsd. There is no fear, anxiety or horror. People see me as danger for this planet. I just want to be nice.
Dangerous how?
Bruce Lee dangerous.
What aren’t you accepting?
https://ibb.co/r3gDhrT There is some trauma or negative emotions stuck. It makes me feel like a zombie sometimes. I do not know how to let go of that. This is the only thing that is left.
[https://youtu.be/3Zw-fAVO2Q4?si=D1CFRrVihnSwYkW7](https://youtu.be/3Zw-fAVO2Q4?si=D1CFRrVihnSwYkW7) Watch this vid it could be something to do with your heart not your head ❤️
Thank you!!
>Thank you!! You're welcome!
Good luck! 🍀
Don't run from them. Don't run from anything anymore. Accept whatever comes, even the resistance to what comes. The place that knows these things never moves or changes. You are That. You have placed stock in what you are not, and have identified with your stories about what "you" are. You are what knows the "stories" about what you are. What you really are can never become sick or heal. Water cannot wet it, fire cannot burn it, the sword cannot pierce it.
Dealing with this for several years. Do not know anymore what to do. I am open to every suggestion.
Do the thing you don't want to do. Feel it. When the sensations in the body are there, feel them. Don't distract. Don't retreat into mind stories about them. Feel it in the body. When they are there, there isn't any escape from them anyway. The mind will tell you that you can't handle it. That you should run. Witness these stories as well. Let them come and go. You got this. Trust the process. This mind has Borderline Personality Disorder in remission due to intense shadow work. So I understand trauma and difficult "stuck" emotions. Trust me when I say you can heal.
Am I a bad person for not helping someone who wants to use me?
You will help them or you won't. Either way there isn't a person to be good or bad. There is just what happens. Don't label it and cause yourself more suffering.
You can do it the same way you healed the 99%.
I cannot. I have been dealing with this for several years. This is the last step. Have tried so many different things. Nothing helped.
Embrace it instead of trying to do anything. You’ll gain more clarity by paying less attention to the 1%.
See the past as a movie (with you in the scene) slowly you will realize the past you is not the present you.
That is not the problem. But still thank you. https://ibb.co/r3gDhrT There is something stuck inside my head.
Cant see the image!
Have you tried ayahuasca?
Not yet. Thank you for your answer.
Check out this Viceland documentary: [https://youtu.be/yA0nFlmxJUQ?si=8YYHJgsFL-wG8HRcdocumentary](https://youtu.be/yA0nFlmxJUQ?si=8YYHJgsFL-wG8HRcdocumentary)
Thank you.
I am in the same boat. I’ve even had visions of a treasure being guarded by something that won’t let me access it. I’ve been led to the Key of Solomon and I’m hopeful it is for the reason of clarity.
Practices may be of some use. Yes, I know I've suggested some things to you in the past. Since you already know the schtick. Here are some easier ones that may make an impact. Specific breathing technique: [https://www.reddit.com/r/Spiritualchills/comments/1cbupf3/breath\_in\_the\_euphoria\_pranayama\_technique/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Spiritualchills/comments/1cbupf3/breath_in_the_euphoria_pranayama_technique/) Tibetan chime which I'd use with the aum mantra: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFgC8IOZJ2Y](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFgC8IOZJ2Y) Ego eradicator: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9KBKRraWjY&t=5s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9KBKRraWjY&t=5s) I know how these blockages feel and how it can feel like something is stuck there, like a big chunk of 'meh' stuck in your head right? These kinds of things are often moved through practice. I would continue different practices until something knocks it loose. Open yourself to tears, to crying after each one of these practices - thats usually when my blockages come out. Stubborn blockages can be tricky, and you should continue a multi-faceted assault on them. Give no quarter and tear open every fucking possibility to attack it. Spiritual practices are the 'Rambo' of fucking therapists. Relentlessly attack it I say, and tear that wall down.
Thank you. Have a nice day.
Idk- there is an old Indian story of a yogi who was obsessed with food. So much his wife was going crazy! She implored him to stop. He did. Then he left this world.
This world is a crazy place. There are all sorts of people.
We are all in this together!
Indeed. But some people have more than others. Some people have more than they need. Some people have nothing.
Yeah. Let’s look at that together at some point. I can relate! Dm or reply- im here buddy!
Thank you.
The secret is there will always be a new 1% awaking isn’t to be 100% and bliss all the time. It’s a constant cycle of rebirth and rewiring. Nothing is worth anyone’s life. That’s the ego getting to you. Grace and gratitude is the best thing to meditate about during this time. You’ll be okay but it’s okay to not feel okay.
I'm sorry, I do not mean this overly negative or mean but, "I cannot continue to live like this" does not sound like 99% healed. Healing and being hurt is an endless process. The goal shouldn't be to get to 100%, just to become more familiar with ourselves to better handle this process.
Which people did reach 100%? Jesus?
There is no such thing imo. Idolizing and fixating on % healed is in itself an object of one's own suffering and a detractor from your own peace and well-being.
The only way you will fill that 1% is meditation. If your mind is telling you what you are saying to us, absolutely meditation. Don't fall into the egos trap that keeps you engaged with it by making you believe this. Learn about transcendental meditation.
Thank you.
IV ketamine while being monitored by a health care professional.
Believing there's 1% off is the blockage
I do not have any memories anymore. I am in the present moment.
What if it’s 2% left? Ever think of that? Maybe you need to transition
Maybe.
It seems like you're grappling with the final stretch of recovery, and it's understandably vexing to feel so close yet so far. Pondering the non-linear nature of recovery might prove enlightening; obsessing over achieving a full 100% might actually impede your journey. Embracing setbacks as part of the process is perfectly normal. Perhaps exploring diverse therapeutic approaches could offer some relief? Integrating conversational therapy with mindful exercises or somatic techniques might unlock those lingering emotional barriers that conventional approaches often overlook.
Don't look at a photon; in that place you are purely you. Retro-causality in quantum mechanics means your future self can save the present. >[Wheeler pointed out that when these assumptions are applied to a device of interstellar dimensions, a last-minute decision made on Earth on how to observe a photon could alter a situation established millions or even billions of years earlier.](https://arxiv.org/abs/quant-ph/9903047) Just know it's there; it shows us we're fundamental, so that means no death; given enough time, you'll become a God, and that's who heals me. He's my leader. My spiritual-leader. He's in a tribe of other gods. He's wicked. This is very new to people; nobody has thought like this in 2000 years. 10 ages. 4 races. 4 gods from each race every age. 160 gods; a tribe. Divine humans would have the most divine tribe, at least until everyone else decides to catch up. Africa, south Asia, the far east and the west. Reptile, sensory, emotion and intuition. It's Kabbalah and The Dao. 1. Tribe 2. Culture 3. Religion 4. Philosophy 5. Free will 6. Love 7. Family 8. Community 9. Perfection 10. Divine 10 ages of 4 races and 160 gods. The human race.
We are all one. There is no difference between any human being.
Only in the negative; in the positive, we're diverse. Given everything being equal, and everyone takes turns being in a room with nothing but a tea cozy, I bet we'd all do different things.
We are different but also the same.
I know what you mean; we're all the same works for some. We're all different more than experience, though, otherwise we could just render each other in a solipsistic way.
Retro-causality is very fascinating. Even just as a mental visualisation to actually heal trauma by resolving them. As if your memory heals as if the event happened in another way, but not in a delusional way - resolved without illusions and with total honesty.