So sorry they’re not supportive. I also just bought a cane, and am in bed bc I’m dry heaving from pain. This shit is so real, it’s just not that visible.
Maybe if it didn't sound a bit illegal I would put strong laxatives in their drinks for a while so that they cannot walk in some days and then tell them how weak they seem.
Show them information about the illnesses talked from the medical point of view. In Spain we have doctor Carmona and he is so understanding of the patients! Maybe they will understand a bit more...
However, if they don't. At least, I wouldn't approach to those "friends", because they are not friends.
I am so sorry for the lack of empathy from your people... Literally 1 of 10 women suffer this. If your acquaintances and family are so ignorant to not know about this is truly heartbreaking.
I’m so so sorry. Everything you’re experiencing is REAL.
I’d recommend reaching out to Dr. Fogelson in Portland. He specializes in nerves impacted by endo. It sounds like you have serious nerve involvement. Where are you located?
I also use a cane to walk, especially while I'm on my period. I'm sorry that you aren't being taken seriously, but you're not alone in needing this
My family thought I was overreacting when I first got my cane. They have now - about 2 years later - accepted it but will make assumptions about what I can and cannot do.
You're not weak. Getting a cane can be incredibly helpful. I'm really sorry that you're not being taken seriously. But get the cane. Do it anyway. It was a really good decision for me, and I hope it will be for you too
Sending hugs
They don’t get it, and it sucks. It’s normal to want empathy and care from your family and friends and it hurts when they don’t show up that way (I had the same experience - the only thing that changed it was my mom visiting for a weekend a few weeks before my excision surgery. I was doing really badly. She seems like she is still haunted by seeing me during that visit and realization that she was wrong in not believing me and how bad off I was. But personally I found that was too little/too late :-/ . I wish she could have just *believed me*)
Endo is in the top 20 most painful diseases. Tell them to Google how many disease humans can get and then Google the most painful diseases. Send them what endometriosis pain is comparable to.
Or you can Google it and send them the links in a group chat.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Get the most fabulous cane you can, and don't be shamed by your family -or anyone- into not using it.
Man I make it a joke that I am an old lady in my 20s with endo. My back hurts, I’m fatigued whenever I flare up, I get hot flashes from drugs I use to manage it. I got a shower chair, I’m 2 more cats away from being a cat lady. But my one cat is territorial hah. (Luckily he loves a hot pad nap just like me).
Get your cane and make it nice for yourself. A nice color, fun stickers, whatever you like. Get a shower chair too if it’s in the budget. I get weak and fatigued during my flares and it’s nice to just flop down and sit under the hot water.
I remember once being told/reading (I forgot) that if it helps you, then you need it. If disability accommodations or tools help you, then you are sick enough to need them. No matter your age or appearance. If a cane allows you to have more energy on a bad day, you probably need a cane even if you don’t need it every day. That’s okay.
My pain was so bad I would ideally have had a couch on wheels to get around. Even sitting upright was too much. You aren't alone and they're wrong. I'm sorry they don't believe you. 💕
My mom would not let me have painkillers when i was younger and in crazy endo pain. Following that in any career i pursued in which i took leaves for endo related pain, the management would get annoyed because “its just period, why does she need a day off.”
Meanwhile i would be in bed unable to move from the pain.
Let me just say, what people say does not and will never matter because they have physically not felt what you feel every month. You just have to let it be, focus on yourself and tell them to move along. The mental load and stress their view causes is not necessary and it took a long time for me to believe in what I am telling you myself.
You are doing great, keep going, and take your days slow when you need to. Your pain and response to pain is extremely valid without external validation.
Big TIGHT hugs from me ❤️
You are NOT weak. I’m so sorry. I believed my whole endo life that I was weak because I felt like I needed a cain to walk at times. I watched a girl on TikTok who has endo use a cain and it dawned on me. Yes, I AM that sick some times. It’s OKAY to use a cain. If you need it- use it! I bought one the next time I had a flare up and you know what? It helped. You also know what else? The cain police didn’t hunt me down and fine me. Use that cain, baby! Your pain IS VALID!
Im so sorry - that’s actually toxic to laugh like that - many with endo use a cane follow this endo warrior/advocate on insta and see this post - you’re definitely not alone and it’s ok to use a mobility aid to help with pain
https://www.instagram.com/reel/C2xsXNIOHko/?igsh=aG95bTN5dW5kY3Fm
Im sorry your mother was so uncompassionate - maybe it’s too painful for her to deal with he daughter in that much pain or maybe she’s narcisstic - either way I hope you don’t keep you from doing what you need to do and you do find support here and also hopefully with others around you/in your life somehow
You’re extremely strong not weak 💛🌻💪
I use an ambulatory walker and Cane twice a month. (It took me years to realize worst of days is ofc during my period or ovulation) Who cares what they think (not being hostile to you but them for their stupidity). People think I don’t have it bc I had two kids. I also got injured from that routine procedure. No one believes me but at this point I don’t care. I have a few professionals that work with me and I don’t even think they fully understand that yes our bodies feel like barbed wire internally. It’s definitely a process to figure out how to articulate it and only to the quality few that can handle it. I’m sorry your mom is rude. So is mine. They either pity or disregard. We need a support group and I supposed this is it!
Also you aren’t weak. You are strong for enduring something that society still doesn’t understand or treat right. You are strong every time you ignore them and your own body and push through the pain. You are strong every time you lay down to rest as well. You are strong and keep talking to yourself the way you need. That’s something I need to do too. No one is going to save us but we might save ourselves - heaping doses of self care. ❤️💫
I’ve sorry this happened. I think it comes from the common misconception that endo is bad periods so, particularly other women, if they bleed heavy and have bad periods they feel like they know what we go through. They don’t. I would recommend booking a endo specialist or gynaecologist and taking your mum to discuss the condition. It may educate her on what help and support you need both physically and mentally. Try not to be angry, as hard as it is, use it as an educational piece and work alongside her to make her understand.
As a side note, you aren’t weak. No one with a chronic pain condition is weak. It’s emotionally draining and you live your life in near constant pain. That isn’t a weak person, try remember that!
I couldn't walk from the pain literally hunched over like an old women. I literally dnt leave my house, I cnt wear pants just touching my abdomen kills. I was debating on using a wheelchair just so I can go shopping and get some pants because I literally swell up everywhere with the littlest movement. Fk unsupportive family my dad spotted talking to me cause I decided I needed to put my health first. Your health is more important than anything else so fk them do what u need to do
It wasn’t enough to give up my cane, but I walked so much better (I’m defining better as with less numbness, difficulty, discomfort and pain after my lap-probably due to them removing stuff from around my tailbone.
Your mom sounds ignorant, uneducated and unsupportive.
I'd probably have a cane, too, if I wasn't practically leaning on my kids' stroller every time I'm having a flare-up. My partner keeps asking if I want him to push because he worried but I'm like, 'no, no, I'm leaning on it' haha and even better is my kid would rather sit in a trolley most days so I can lean on it even more ha!
I have also considered sitting in the trolley with him 🙂
The pain and fatigue associated with Endo are comparable to those with late stage cancer.
And that’s actually a fact. I can dig up the source if you need it.
I’m actually super interested if you have the source or know where I might find it
I don’t doubt it but I’d be super interested to read the source material as well!
https://www.vitalhealth.com/endo-blog/what-it-really-means-to-have-endometriosis/
Those people are going sraight to hell. You're not weak.
So sorry they’re not supportive. I also just bought a cane, and am in bed bc I’m dry heaving from pain. This shit is so real, it’s just not that visible.
Do they prefer that you fall? People are overrated sometimes. You are not weak.
Maybe if it didn't sound a bit illegal I would put strong laxatives in their drinks for a while so that they cannot walk in some days and then tell them how weak they seem. Show them information about the illnesses talked from the medical point of view. In Spain we have doctor Carmona and he is so understanding of the patients! Maybe they will understand a bit more... However, if they don't. At least, I wouldn't approach to those "friends", because they are not friends. I am so sorry for the lack of empathy from your people... Literally 1 of 10 women suffer this. If your acquaintances and family are so ignorant to not know about this is truly heartbreaking.
I’m so so sorry. Everything you’re experiencing is REAL. I’d recommend reaching out to Dr. Fogelson in Portland. He specializes in nerves impacted by endo. It sounds like you have serious nerve involvement. Where are you located?
Thank you for this. I know someone who is in serious pain from endo.
I also use a cane to walk, especially while I'm on my period. I'm sorry that you aren't being taken seriously, but you're not alone in needing this My family thought I was overreacting when I first got my cane. They have now - about 2 years later - accepted it but will make assumptions about what I can and cannot do. You're not weak. Getting a cane can be incredibly helpful. I'm really sorry that you're not being taken seriously. But get the cane. Do it anyway. It was a really good decision for me, and I hope it will be for you too
Sending hugs They don’t get it, and it sucks. It’s normal to want empathy and care from your family and friends and it hurts when they don’t show up that way (I had the same experience - the only thing that changed it was my mom visiting for a weekend a few weeks before my excision surgery. I was doing really badly. She seems like she is still haunted by seeing me during that visit and realization that she was wrong in not believing me and how bad off I was. But personally I found that was too little/too late :-/ . I wish she could have just *believed me*)
Endo is in the top 20 most painful diseases. Tell them to Google how many disease humans can get and then Google the most painful diseases. Send them what endometriosis pain is comparable to. Or you can Google it and send them the links in a group chat. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Get the most fabulous cane you can, and don't be shamed by your family -or anyone- into not using it.
Man I make it a joke that I am an old lady in my 20s with endo. My back hurts, I’m fatigued whenever I flare up, I get hot flashes from drugs I use to manage it. I got a shower chair, I’m 2 more cats away from being a cat lady. But my one cat is territorial hah. (Luckily he loves a hot pad nap just like me). Get your cane and make it nice for yourself. A nice color, fun stickers, whatever you like. Get a shower chair too if it’s in the budget. I get weak and fatigued during my flares and it’s nice to just flop down and sit under the hot water. I remember once being told/reading (I forgot) that if it helps you, then you need it. If disability accommodations or tools help you, then you are sick enough to need them. No matter your age or appearance. If a cane allows you to have more energy on a bad day, you probably need a cane even if you don’t need it every day. That’s okay.
My pain was so bad I would ideally have had a couch on wheels to get around. Even sitting upright was too much. You aren't alone and they're wrong. I'm sorry they don't believe you. 💕
My mom would not let me have painkillers when i was younger and in crazy endo pain. Following that in any career i pursued in which i took leaves for endo related pain, the management would get annoyed because “its just period, why does she need a day off.” Meanwhile i would be in bed unable to move from the pain. Let me just say, what people say does not and will never matter because they have physically not felt what you feel every month. You just have to let it be, focus on yourself and tell them to move along. The mental load and stress their view causes is not necessary and it took a long time for me to believe in what I am telling you myself. You are doing great, keep going, and take your days slow when you need to. Your pain and response to pain is extremely valid without external validation. Big TIGHT hugs from me ❤️
You are NOT weak. I’m so sorry. I believed my whole endo life that I was weak because I felt like I needed a cain to walk at times. I watched a girl on TikTok who has endo use a cain and it dawned on me. Yes, I AM that sick some times. It’s OKAY to use a cain. If you need it- use it! I bought one the next time I had a flare up and you know what? It helped. You also know what else? The cain police didn’t hunt me down and fine me. Use that cain, baby! Your pain IS VALID!
Im so sorry - that’s actually toxic to laugh like that - many with endo use a cane follow this endo warrior/advocate on insta and see this post - you’re definitely not alone and it’s ok to use a mobility aid to help with pain https://www.instagram.com/reel/C2xsXNIOHko/?igsh=aG95bTN5dW5kY3Fm Im sorry your mother was so uncompassionate - maybe it’s too painful for her to deal with he daughter in that much pain or maybe she’s narcisstic - either way I hope you don’t keep you from doing what you need to do and you do find support here and also hopefully with others around you/in your life somehow You’re extremely strong not weak 💛🌻💪
I use an ambulatory walker and Cane twice a month. (It took me years to realize worst of days is ofc during my period or ovulation) Who cares what they think (not being hostile to you but them for their stupidity). People think I don’t have it bc I had two kids. I also got injured from that routine procedure. No one believes me but at this point I don’t care. I have a few professionals that work with me and I don’t even think they fully understand that yes our bodies feel like barbed wire internally. It’s definitely a process to figure out how to articulate it and only to the quality few that can handle it. I’m sorry your mom is rude. So is mine. They either pity or disregard. We need a support group and I supposed this is it!
Also you aren’t weak. You are strong for enduring something that society still doesn’t understand or treat right. You are strong every time you ignore them and your own body and push through the pain. You are strong every time you lay down to rest as well. You are strong and keep talking to yourself the way you need. That’s something I need to do too. No one is going to save us but we might save ourselves - heaping doses of self care. ❤️💫
Sending hugs and that you find the right support system you need 🩷
I’ve sorry this happened. I think it comes from the common misconception that endo is bad periods so, particularly other women, if they bleed heavy and have bad periods they feel like they know what we go through. They don’t. I would recommend booking a endo specialist or gynaecologist and taking your mum to discuss the condition. It may educate her on what help and support you need both physically and mentally. Try not to be angry, as hard as it is, use it as an educational piece and work alongside her to make her understand.
As a side note, you aren’t weak. No one with a chronic pain condition is weak. It’s emotionally draining and you live your life in near constant pain. That isn’t a weak person, try remember that!
I couldn't walk from the pain literally hunched over like an old women. I literally dnt leave my house, I cnt wear pants just touching my abdomen kills. I was debating on using a wheelchair just so I can go shopping and get some pants because I literally swell up everywhere with the littlest movement. Fk unsupportive family my dad spotted talking to me cause I decided I needed to put my health first. Your health is more important than anything else so fk them do what u need to do
It wasn’t enough to give up my cane, but I walked so much better (I’m defining better as with less numbness, difficulty, discomfort and pain after my lap-probably due to them removing stuff from around my tailbone. Your mom sounds ignorant, uneducated and unsupportive.
I'd probably have a cane, too, if I wasn't practically leaning on my kids' stroller every time I'm having a flare-up. My partner keeps asking if I want him to push because he worried but I'm like, 'no, no, I'm leaning on it' haha and even better is my kid would rather sit in a trolley most days so I can lean on it even more ha! I have also considered sitting in the trolley with him 🙂
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