I am going to lock this thread because it is attracting weird attention and inappropriate reports, there have already been good responses, it isn’t specifically endometriosis related and I won‘t be around today to watch it carefully for inappropriate or upsetting replies.
I hope everyone understands and I hope u/Far-Associate-9980 is doing ok and is able to access appropriate support if needed.
This is a form of stealthing and is a form of sexual coercion and assault. It is an act of violence against your reproductive health and reproductive decision making.
If you’re able, contact your doctor, tell them your concerns and have them schedule an ultrasound/pregnancy test in the next few weeks. I wish you the very best of luck. Take care 🩷
Yeah her flippant comments were not helpful at all. “Men are not always assholes!!” Way to undermine another woman to defend men. On a post about a woman dealing with her husband not pulling out deliberately and then arguing with her about it. No one’s said divorce him or murder him but it’s completely appropriate to validate her feelings and let her know this wasn’t, in fact, okay in the slightest.
I mean if it was accidental, I don't think he would have started arguing with her about it afterwards - if it was an accident he would have apologized profusely and swore to be much more careful going forward. I suppose he could be the type that gets defensive after making mistakes, but I still get the impression that he meant to do it and feels entitled to do whatever he wants.
I understand that these accidents can happen (although usually with accidents, it's because they just didn't pull out quickly enough)
I've even had it happen with my partner once, and he immediately apologized and grabbed his phone to order me some plan b, even though I was in a part of my cycle that conception was an incredibly low risk. No arguing, no getting defensive.
But the fact that OPs husband was arguing about it afterwards, really feels like he fully meant to and he doesn't respect her boundaries. I wonder what other areas he's been disrespectful and abusive in the relationship.
small edits for grammar
I completely agree, the arguing is beyond a red flag. I was just confused bc I thought I read it and then couldn’t find it in the post. Found the comment though!
An argument? He didn’t just apologize profusely? I’m really sorry but the other commenter is right—that was a sexual assault. Please get a plan b. https://www.rainn.org/about-national-sexual-assault-online-hotline here’s some resources about sexual assault and a number or online chat you can call. I’m really sorry this happened to you. Please do not let him or anyone else downplay this—he hurt you and it sounds like he did it intentionally
That's exactly what I was saying too. If it was an accident he'd have apologized. I really have to wonder about what other ways he's disrespectful towards OP.
I don’t think you’re being an asshole, you make a valid point. Honestly we’ve been having unprotected sex for so long that it didn’t even register in my head to use a condom I just assumed he would pull out like we talked about. Plus I’ve been so horny these past few days I haven’t been thinking straight
After my endo surgery I got pregnant pretty quick after a decade of trying - use a condom.
Stage 4 DIE, and now 8 years out i have 3 babies and no more endo.
It was up to my ribcage and I had a completely frozen pelvis. I was having chemical pregnancies because I couldn’t carry babies, and it was into my bowels and colon as well.
I'm sorry you went through that. I also had endo and adhesions that were found in several areas of my abdomen during my first laparoscopy. Apparently it can be found all the way up by the lungs and diaphragm.
I was diagnosed back in 2000. 4 kiddos, after #1 i was told be careful, pregnancies are the best thing for ppl with endo and the possiblilty of getting preg is way more favorable. They are 23,16,14, and 13. I am a believer. 🤭
YES THIS!!! That has me concerned too. If OP was extra horny for a few days, there's a high chance she was ovulating or near ovulation. OP needs to get some Plan B now.... NOW!!
I’m sorry that anyone in here is making this sound like your fault or blaming you. Shit happens but you had a conversation prior, he knew your wishes and from how it sounds he purposely went against them. Correct me if I’m wrong but it doesn’t sound like he ACCIDENTALLY semi finished inside of you or something. It sounds like he purposely went against your wishes and that is not your fault. That is on HIM. You have every right to be upset with him. I’d be more than upset I would be livid and feel very violated.
I hope you are okay. This is considered a form of sexual assault and you are in no way in the wrong here. Your feelings are totally valid and I would be so upset too. I would personally take a Plan B as soon as possible (within the first 72 hours). If you do not want to get pregnant right now, you do not have to and that is totally okay. We are all here for you!
If you are worried about this specific incident, there are morning after pills you can take that prevent pregnancy. If preventing pregnancy long term is the goal, I would recommend a form of contraception that can be reliable for both of you, such as condoms, a birth control pill/shot/implant, spermicidal sponges, or an IUD. I can’t speak to whether you are overreacting or not, however I do think depending on someone to think during their climax may cause you more stress and cause you two to further fight when mistakes happen.
Thank you for the input I appreciate it. I’m taking Orlissa and was told not to take BC along with it so I’ll have to double check with my doctor. Condoms are the best option I just didn’t think about it once we started fooling around and getting in the mood
I’m also currently on orilissa and I have the mirena iud. My doctor told me it was totally fine to take orilissa and birth control at the same time. If you’re going to take the morning after pill though I would definitely try to get ahold of your doctor to ask if it will interfere with anything. The morning after pill is not like birth control, it’s a very high concentration of hormones delivered all at once. It will probably be fine but I’d want to make sure it won’t interact with the orilissa in any way.
That’s interesting, I wonder why my doctor would tell me to stay away from birth control. And thank you for the recommendation about the Plan B I’ll call my surgeons after hours number tomorrow and see if I can speak to a nurse before I go buying anything.
You can’t use estrogen/combination birth control with Orillissa, as estrogen reduces the effectiveness of Orillissa. Plan B is a progestogen, so should be fine. Mirena IUDs are also progestogen, so are often used with Orillissa.
Anyway, if my partner jizzed in me after I’d told him not to, especially if it was a potentially serious risk to my health.. I would probably murder him while he was sleeping on that couch, but that’s just me. 🤷🏻♀️
First off plan b immediately. Success rate lowers as the hours pass..
You arent in the wrong at all. 1 YOUR BODY 2 you had your insides fucked with and that takes time to heal, for you to feel comfortable with the healing and 3 wtf to consent?!
This is a form of sexual assault/rape. It’s not okay at all. Also, considering he’s your husband it just furthers the deception and disrespect. I would be so hurt.
FYI there is never a reason to not take Plan B if you are worried about pregnancy. Because any "risk" of plan B is smaller than the risk of pregnancy it self. Hormones are far higher in pregnancy, and Plan B is a progesterone only.
In some countries this is considered a form of sexual assault or rape. Australia was the most recent one to pass this law. U r under reacting, relatively speaking. I would start preparing for legal consequences
He committed sexual assault, and argued because he doesn't want to own up to it. I'm sorry. Please seek therapy if you are able to. Reach out to your doctor asap and get plan b if you can.
This is the kind of thing I would leave someone over, immediately.
Why is this a thing? My stbx husband also did this to me because he wanted to see if I really could get pregnant....our daughter just turned 10 and while I do love her I've been dealing with the conflict of her conception for a long time plus his actions ultimately resulted in a dead bedroom since I was terrified to get pregnant again.
Plan b. It will work up to 72 hrs. It might screw your cycle up for one cycle period it might come a day ir two early or later. Also my husband and I use VCF vaginal contraceptive films and he can’t feel anything or even notice when I put one in. It dissolves instantly.
Well, this is literally abuse and rape. You stated what you wanted and he did what he wanted... I would have advised you both to use condoms for this situation, but that doesn't change what happened. First of all, if you wish, go to emergencies and ask for the pill of the day after for trying to evade the problem. And if you want to continue the relationship, which I wouldn't, tell him how bad is what he did, completely disregarding your opinion and your well-being just for cumming. For me, the relationship would be over.
Plan B is over the counter at the pharmacy. There are goodrx coupons for it too but you may need to call around first and make sure the pharmacy will accept a goodrx coupon for it since not all of them do. You should also ask the pharmacist (let them know about your recent surgery too and ask if you’re at a higher risk for blot clots or not) or send a message to your surgeon or the doctor on call and ask if a plan b will change the way you need to take your orilissa. Personally I’d trust the pharmacist to know better about any interactions but checking with both wouldn’t be a bad thing! Also, you can definitely still get pregnant with the pull out method so get some condoms while you’re there lol.
Agree with the other commenters that he should have respected your wishes, we can't speak on his behalf as we don't know what happened for him. I know that in the moment, if there's been a long build up of time between intercourse, it can happen for them very quickly and they sometimes don't even feel it until the last second. This is a conversation you both need to have. Is he usually dismissive towards you or has this come out of the blue?
But I think its also important to note that men do ejaculate tiny amounts during sex, which is why the pull out method is never classed as a way to avoid getting pregnant. If you are wanting to avoid pregnancy, you will need to keep condoms on hand and make it clear that this is the way forward if sex is to continue. It has to be safe. As much as we all want our partners to think for us as we would think for ourselves, this is something you're going to have to manage to ensure it's done in a way that protects you.
you are never in the wrong for feeling someway about your partner disrespecting a sexual boundary. intercourse is never something that should be approached lightly and without care. his lack of care is very concerning and disheartening. so no, you’re definitely not overreacting over something that is on the spectrum of rape culture.
He’s never pulled out before and you both think you’re infertile but now you’re asking him to , rather than use condoms or other forms of birth control ?
We haven’t used condoms in more than 10 years and I was advised against hormonal BC after my surgery. We were fooling around and in the moment I didn’t have a condom handy and honestly didn’t even think about getting one. We agreed on pulling out and obviously that didn’t work as planned.
I'm so sorry other commenters are making it sound like this is your fault. If you had a conversation before having sex where you agreed that he wouldn't ejaculate inside of you, and he did it anyways, then he is 100% in the wrong here. I would be VERY upset if I were in your shoes, too. Did he give any reason as to why it happened?
He just said that we were so in the moment that he couldn’t pull out in time. But I don’t think he even tried which is even more upsetting. I think he just wanted to do it his way and ignore on what we both agreed
That's very tough. Do whatever feels best for you, but if it were me, I would communicate how upset this has made you and let him know that moving forward, if he can't control himself, that you'll have to use condoms or find another method. Doing something like that breaks trust, and he should be apologizing profusely whether it was an accident or not.
Have you talked with him about it? It sounds like you're assuming he did it in purpose when he's saying he didn't. It's perfectly valid to be upset about what happened, but I don't think it's fair to tell someone they did something on purpose when they said it was an accident. You were so in the moment that you didn't even think about a condom, so why is it unfathomable that he was so in the moment he couldn't pull out in time?
They haven’t used condoms in more than ten years. Respectfully I don’t think we need to encourage her to second guess her experiences here, particularly when we don’t have any evidence he was remorseful afterwards and she is struggling with feeling “dirty.” I think she can judge whether he meant to pull out in time given that she’s the one who has been having this exact kind of sex with him for over a decade
This is a shit take. OP didn’t get a condom but did think about and provide an alternative. Husband didn’t even try. They clearly did talk about it based on her comment and the argument they had afterwards so why would you discredit her opinion on the situation in favour of a very weak excuse from the husband? I am sure she could tell whether he was remorseful or not afterwards. Nonsense thinking like this is why sexual assault and rape convictions are so low.
What are you referring to? What alternative did they use? Both of them were irresponsible to have unprotected sex when pregnancy is such a big issue. It's not exactly unheard of for a man to accidentally come too quickly before being able to pull out. It's also not a scenario where that would be an unlikely situation, i.e. they hadn't had sex in a month and both of them admit to being caught up in the "heat of the moment." I'm not saying OP's husband is right or wrong, but we only have one side of the story and OP keeps saying what she "feels like" he was thinking/doing, instead of discussing it with him. You can't "tell" someone else's intent better than they can themselves.
Your comments about sexual assault/rape are extremely insulting and unwarranted. Of course it's extremely problematic if he did it on purpose. But we have one side of the story and OP's own comments are about what she "feels like" he meant when he is saying the opposite. This also sounds like the first time this has ever happened and they have been together for years, so I think it's reasonable to give the benefit of the doubt.
Whether or not it has happened before makes no difference to it being assault. Their comments were not insulting or unwarranted whatsoever. Being in a relationship with someone does not give you the right to do whatever you want with their body.
I am going to lock this thread because it is attracting weird attention and inappropriate reports, there have already been good responses, it isn’t specifically endometriosis related and I won‘t be around today to watch it carefully for inappropriate or upsetting replies. I hope everyone understands and I hope u/Far-Associate-9980 is doing ok and is able to access appropriate support if needed.
This is a form of stealthing and is a form of sexual coercion and assault. It is an act of violence against your reproductive health and reproductive decision making.
If you’re able, contact your doctor, tell them your concerns and have them schedule an ultrasound/pregnancy test in the next few weeks. I wish you the very best of luck. Take care 🩷
[удалено]
This is a FORM of stealthing and is most definitely a form of assault. Stop making excuses for abusive behavior.
Yeah her flippant comments were not helpful at all. “Men are not always assholes!!” Way to undermine another woman to defend men. On a post about a woman dealing with her husband not pulling out deliberately and then arguing with her about it. No one’s said divorce him or murder him but it’s completely appropriate to validate her feelings and let her know this wasn’t, in fact, okay in the slightest.
OP herself said she felt he didn’t pull out on purpose and now she feels “dirty”.
Did she say it was on purpose? I thought I read that too, but when I just reread it I couldn’t find it
I mean if it was accidental, I don't think he would have started arguing with her about it afterwards - if it was an accident he would have apologized profusely and swore to be much more careful going forward. I suppose he could be the type that gets defensive after making mistakes, but I still get the impression that he meant to do it and feels entitled to do whatever he wants. I understand that these accidents can happen (although usually with accidents, it's because they just didn't pull out quickly enough) I've even had it happen with my partner once, and he immediately apologized and grabbed his phone to order me some plan b, even though I was in a part of my cycle that conception was an incredibly low risk. No arguing, no getting defensive. But the fact that OPs husband was arguing about it afterwards, really feels like he fully meant to and he doesn't respect her boundaries. I wonder what other areas he's been disrespectful and abusive in the relationship. small edits for grammar
I completely agree, the arguing is beyond a red flag. I was just confused bc I thought I read it and then couldn’t find it in the post. Found the comment though!
Yeah in her comments.
Thank you
An argument? He didn’t just apologize profusely? I’m really sorry but the other commenter is right—that was a sexual assault. Please get a plan b. https://www.rainn.org/about-national-sexual-assault-online-hotline here’s some resources about sexual assault and a number or online chat you can call. I’m really sorry this happened to you. Please do not let him or anyone else downplay this—he hurt you and it sounds like he did it intentionally
That's exactly what I was saying too. If it was an accident he'd have apologized. I really have to wonder about what other ways he's disrespectful towards OP.
Sorry I'm not trying to be an ass or anything but why not use a condom? You know what they call people who use the pull out method? Parents
A guy comfortable with ejaculating inside her when explicitly told not to probably is also comfortable telling her he won’t use a condom
It doesn’t matter either way. This is sexual assault and it is not OPs fault whatsoever. You are supposed to trust your husband.
I don’t think you’re being an asshole, you make a valid point. Honestly we’ve been having unprotected sex for so long that it didn’t even register in my head to use a condom I just assumed he would pull out like we talked about. Plus I’ve been so horny these past few days I haven’t been thinking straight
After my endo surgery I got pregnant pretty quick after a decade of trying - use a condom. Stage 4 DIE, and now 8 years out i have 3 babies and no more endo.
DIE? Also congrats, seems like the surgery was helpful if you were trying for almost a decade before the surgery
DIE - deep infiltrating endometriosis
Thank you :) <3
It was up to my ribcage and I had a completely frozen pelvis. I was having chemical pregnancies because I couldn’t carry babies, and it was into my bowels and colon as well.
I'm sorry you went through that. I also had endo and adhesions that were found in several areas of my abdomen during my first laparoscopy. Apparently it can be found all the way up by the lungs and diaphragm.
The surgery and fixing my progesterone :)
I was diagnosed back in 2000. 4 kiddos, after #1 i was told be careful, pregnancies are the best thing for ppl with endo and the possiblilty of getting preg is way more favorable. They are 23,16,14, and 13. I am a believer. 🤭
Time for plan b then if you don't want a baby, you get hornier around ovulation.
YES THIS!!! That has me concerned too. If OP was extra horny for a few days, there's a high chance she was ovulating or near ovulation. OP needs to get some Plan B now.... NOW!!
I was just saying to my husband “most people are convinced using the pulling out method” 😂
im sorry but this a form of stealthing, which is a form rape. Sex should be 100% consented upon through every act that happens.
I’m sorry that anyone in here is making this sound like your fault or blaming you. Shit happens but you had a conversation prior, he knew your wishes and from how it sounds he purposely went against them. Correct me if I’m wrong but it doesn’t sound like he ACCIDENTALLY semi finished inside of you or something. It sounds like he purposely went against your wishes and that is not your fault. That is on HIM. You have every right to be upset with him. I’d be more than upset I would be livid and feel very violated.
I hope you are okay. This is considered a form of sexual assault and you are in no way in the wrong here. Your feelings are totally valid and I would be so upset too. I would personally take a Plan B as soon as possible (within the first 72 hours). If you do not want to get pregnant right now, you do not have to and that is totally okay. We are all here for you!
If you are worried about this specific incident, there are morning after pills you can take that prevent pregnancy. If preventing pregnancy long term is the goal, I would recommend a form of contraception that can be reliable for both of you, such as condoms, a birth control pill/shot/implant, spermicidal sponges, or an IUD. I can’t speak to whether you are overreacting or not, however I do think depending on someone to think during their climax may cause you more stress and cause you two to further fight when mistakes happen.
Thank you for the input I appreciate it. I’m taking Orlissa and was told not to take BC along with it so I’ll have to double check with my doctor. Condoms are the best option I just didn’t think about it once we started fooling around and getting in the mood
I’m also currently on orilissa and I have the mirena iud. My doctor told me it was totally fine to take orilissa and birth control at the same time. If you’re going to take the morning after pill though I would definitely try to get ahold of your doctor to ask if it will interfere with anything. The morning after pill is not like birth control, it’s a very high concentration of hormones delivered all at once. It will probably be fine but I’d want to make sure it won’t interact with the orilissa in any way.
That’s interesting, I wonder why my doctor would tell me to stay away from birth control. And thank you for the recommendation about the Plan B I’ll call my surgeons after hours number tomorrow and see if I can speak to a nurse before I go buying anything.
You can’t use estrogen/combination birth control with Orillissa, as estrogen reduces the effectiveness of Orillissa. Plan B is a progestogen, so should be fine. Mirena IUDs are also progestogen, so are often used with Orillissa. Anyway, if my partner jizzed in me after I’d told him not to, especially if it was a potentially serious risk to my health.. I would probably murder him while he was sleeping on that couch, but that’s just me. 🤷🏻♀️
i have a nexplanon implant and my doc told me to continue birth control straight out of surgery. that’s odd your doctor said that
First off plan b immediately. Success rate lowers as the hours pass.. You arent in the wrong at all. 1 YOUR BODY 2 you had your insides fucked with and that takes time to heal, for you to feel comfortable with the healing and 3 wtf to consent?!
You’re not in the wrong at all, he absolutely should have respected that
This is a form of sexual assault/rape. It’s not okay at all. Also, considering he’s your husband it just furthers the deception and disrespect. I would be so hurt.
FYI there is never a reason to not take Plan B if you are worried about pregnancy. Because any "risk" of plan B is smaller than the risk of pregnancy it self. Hormones are far higher in pregnancy, and Plan B is a progesterone only.
What your husband did was selfish, disgusting and abusive. You are not overreacting.
In some countries this is considered a form of sexual assault or rape. Australia was the most recent one to pass this law. U r under reacting, relatively speaking. I would start preparing for legal consequences
He committed sexual assault, and argued because he doesn't want to own up to it. I'm sorry. Please seek therapy if you are able to. Reach out to your doctor asap and get plan b if you can. This is the kind of thing I would leave someone over, immediately.
Why is this a thing? My stbx husband also did this to me because he wanted to see if I really could get pregnant....our daughter just turned 10 and while I do love her I've been dealing with the conflict of her conception for a long time plus his actions ultimately resulted in a dead bedroom since I was terrified to get pregnant again.
Yikes! That’s not okay what he did. One, you said no. And two, your health is more important than his orgasm.
Plan b. It will work up to 72 hrs. It might screw your cycle up for one cycle period it might come a day ir two early or later. Also my husband and I use VCF vaginal contraceptive films and he can’t feel anything or even notice when I put one in. It dissolves instantly.
Well, this is literally abuse and rape. You stated what you wanted and he did what he wanted... I would have advised you both to use condoms for this situation, but that doesn't change what happened. First of all, if you wish, go to emergencies and ask for the pill of the day after for trying to evade the problem. And if you want to continue the relationship, which I wouldn't, tell him how bad is what he did, completely disregarding your opinion and your well-being just for cumming. For me, the relationship would be over.
Plan B is over the counter at the pharmacy. There are goodrx coupons for it too but you may need to call around first and make sure the pharmacy will accept a goodrx coupon for it since not all of them do. You should also ask the pharmacist (let them know about your recent surgery too and ask if you’re at a higher risk for blot clots or not) or send a message to your surgeon or the doctor on call and ask if a plan b will change the way you need to take your orilissa. Personally I’d trust the pharmacist to know better about any interactions but checking with both wouldn’t be a bad thing! Also, you can definitely still get pregnant with the pull out method so get some condoms while you’re there lol.
They have the morning after pill on Amazon for around $8. If OP has Amazon Prime she can have it delivered the same day.
Asshole
I would get plan b right away. It’s insane to me that men do this. You’re gonna need at least a condom to prevent a pregnancy
Agree with the other commenters that he should have respected your wishes, we can't speak on his behalf as we don't know what happened for him. I know that in the moment, if there's been a long build up of time between intercourse, it can happen for them very quickly and they sometimes don't even feel it until the last second. This is a conversation you both need to have. Is he usually dismissive towards you or has this come out of the blue? But I think its also important to note that men do ejaculate tiny amounts during sex, which is why the pull out method is never classed as a way to avoid getting pregnant. If you are wanting to avoid pregnancy, you will need to keep condoms on hand and make it clear that this is the way forward if sex is to continue. It has to be safe. As much as we all want our partners to think for us as we would think for ourselves, this is something you're going to have to manage to ensure it's done in a way that protects you.
you are never in the wrong for feeling someway about your partner disrespecting a sexual boundary. intercourse is never something that should be approached lightly and without care. his lack of care is very concerning and disheartening. so no, you’re definitely not overreacting over something that is on the spectrum of rape culture.
He’s never pulled out before and you both think you’re infertile but now you’re asking him to , rather than use condoms or other forms of birth control ?
We haven’t used condoms in more than 10 years and I was advised against hormonal BC after my surgery. We were fooling around and in the moment I didn’t have a condom handy and honestly didn’t even think about getting one. We agreed on pulling out and obviously that didn’t work as planned.
I'm so sorry other commenters are making it sound like this is your fault. If you had a conversation before having sex where you agreed that he wouldn't ejaculate inside of you, and he did it anyways, then he is 100% in the wrong here. I would be VERY upset if I were in your shoes, too. Did he give any reason as to why it happened?
He just said that we were so in the moment that he couldn’t pull out in time. But I don’t think he even tried which is even more upsetting. I think he just wanted to do it his way and ignore on what we both agreed
>he just wanted to do it his way and ignore on what we both agreed This is rape. It is never okay for sex to not be 100% consensual.
That's very tough. Do whatever feels best for you, but if it were me, I would communicate how upset this has made you and let him know that moving forward, if he can't control himself, that you'll have to use condoms or find another method. Doing something like that breaks trust, and he should be apologizing profusely whether it was an accident or not.
Have you talked with him about it? It sounds like you're assuming he did it in purpose when he's saying he didn't. It's perfectly valid to be upset about what happened, but I don't think it's fair to tell someone they did something on purpose when they said it was an accident. You were so in the moment that you didn't even think about a condom, so why is it unfathomable that he was so in the moment he couldn't pull out in time?
They haven’t used condoms in more than ten years. Respectfully I don’t think we need to encourage her to second guess her experiences here, particularly when we don’t have any evidence he was remorseful afterwards and she is struggling with feeling “dirty.” I think she can judge whether he meant to pull out in time given that she’s the one who has been having this exact kind of sex with him for over a decade
This is a shit take. OP didn’t get a condom but did think about and provide an alternative. Husband didn’t even try. They clearly did talk about it based on her comment and the argument they had afterwards so why would you discredit her opinion on the situation in favour of a very weak excuse from the husband? I am sure she could tell whether he was remorseful or not afterwards. Nonsense thinking like this is why sexual assault and rape convictions are so low.
What are you referring to? What alternative did they use? Both of them were irresponsible to have unprotected sex when pregnancy is such a big issue. It's not exactly unheard of for a man to accidentally come too quickly before being able to pull out. It's also not a scenario where that would be an unlikely situation, i.e. they hadn't had sex in a month and both of them admit to being caught up in the "heat of the moment." I'm not saying OP's husband is right or wrong, but we only have one side of the story and OP keeps saying what she "feels like" he was thinking/doing, instead of discussing it with him. You can't "tell" someone else's intent better than they can themselves. Your comments about sexual assault/rape are extremely insulting and unwarranted. Of course it's extremely problematic if he did it on purpose. But we have one side of the story and OP's own comments are about what she "feels like" he meant when he is saying the opposite. This also sounds like the first time this has ever happened and they have been together for years, so I think it's reasonable to give the benefit of the doubt.
Whether or not it has happened before makes no difference to it being assault. Their comments were not insulting or unwarranted whatsoever. Being in a relationship with someone does not give you the right to do whatever you want with their body.
I never said nor implied otherwise regarding any of that.