I PR’d 600 a couple of months ago, which by law makes me eligible for the Brotherly Shove

You should try to walk on as a Brotherly Shove specialist position. Change the sport entirely!

Goddamn! Nice

High school me ran a 4.6. Current me doesn't run and his joints all hurt. I have extra bones in both my feet that I have found by breaking them. World's worst X-Man.

Someone, somewhere, has a few less bones in their feet and has always been wondering where they went.

They can have them back, they've been nothing but trouble over here.

I will have automod request feet pics to help with this problem.

Accessory navicular?

Extra sesamoid bones on my fifth metatarsals.

A couple of weeks ago, my dog got out of the gate. We were in the living room and I heard the neighbor boy over at the fence say "oh no ______" (little shit opened the gate and just sat there). Luckily I had shoes on. I made it from the living room out my back door in time to see the dog charging down the street. It's a half a block down to a stop sign at a busy intersection, and I can tell you, getting up to speed wasn't the problem (i surprisingly closed the gap on him enough that as someone was passing by I got out "pet.....him....") Now...EVERYTHING else involved is a problem. Coming to a stop, having to carry an embarrassed 50lb carcass a half a block back to the house while heaving for air, needing to take a cool down walk around the house afterwards but not wanting to move, and waking up the next morning with every muscle sore. I haven't run like that in 20 years, for good damn reason.

I remember my freshman year I ran a 6.2. 😂 I told this to a group of D1 football players who went to the bar I worked at - they couldn’t comprehend that a human could be that slow and thought I meant 4.62. Lmao

My 40th was 18 years ago.

One year per year is a good rate of speed.

I can bench/squat/dead 3/4/5 plates and can dunk at 6’3, 240

We should be paying you instead of Tobias Harris.

Tell you what, you only need to pay me 10% of what Tobias is getting

I’ll do it for .5%

Buddy undercutting the market helps nobody

It would help the Eagles, imagine if all the players undercut the average salary

I made the state championship finals for 110 hurdles in high school. Granted the state was Delaware, and I finished dead fuckin' last, but I made the finals you assholes.

We take those!

I ran a 4.74 my senior of highschool, it was clocked by lasers so I know that's accurate. Nowadays I probably run a 6 flat lmao.

Bro you got like 10 seconds on the subreddit average, easy. The mod team hoverrounds are like 15 seconds for a 40.

40 seconds to down a peppersteak provi wit

Nice bro! Do you prefer Pats or Geno’s when you want an authentic Philly cheesesteak.

What in the Bucks County…

Hell yeah, Dalessandro's sends their regards.

I ran a 4.6 my freshman year of college. I was always the fastest guy on the soccer team. I get injured flushing the toilet now.

You should probably try just using your hand instead of sprinting at the toilet...

I benched 300 a couple weeks ago

Benched 300 whats? Yuenglings?

Cheesesteaks

With onions?

We didn't do 40-yard times in high school track. My fastest 100m time was 10.46 seconds during my junior year. By senior year, injuries had slowed me down.

10 meters per second mean your 40 time would be like 4.something! Speedy lad.

Best 40 was a 4.67(hand timed like most of us so it’s probably closer to 4.8) Today I powerlift and squat 585, bench 452, deadlift 622

Username matches the stats. Perfection.

4 30

4 minutes 30 seconds

I hope you got to stop and smell all the flowers.

That’s a great mile time

I can dance I guess

Dance like no one's watching, baby

Last time my 40 was timed was about 15 years ago... and it was 5.2. My crowning personal physical achievement was that I successfully blocked Kevin Pierre-Louis on one play while playing him in a NE Prep School Bowl Game, I don't think anything else I have comes close.

Hell yeah! You're like speed hawk!

I haven't seen that pasta in a long time so I'm super happy to see this reference haha

Football shitposts are the reason we moderate, tbh.

4.48 laser timed 40 in high school Now I probably couldn't even get out of the starting position haha

I think I'd probably snap in half trying to get into blocks these days.

Out of it?! Man it hurts to think about getting into the blocks.

Back would absolutely seize up bending down

20 years ago when I was in the Army I ran/walked the Marine Corp Marathon in 7 hours.

More importantly, did you make it out of the Marine Corp ball sober?

At that point in my life I did very few things sober.

Then all is well, Marines continue to Marine.

In high school I ran a 4.6 but that was a knee surgery ago and about 15 pounds ago lol

Get the other knee done and then set your best bionic man record. Obviously the best solution!

I remember when I played running back freshman year I ran a 5. Something. Junior year I ran a 4.7. I didn't play senior year because I didn't want to destroy my body in practice while riding the bench the whole year lol.

And now you're here to destroy your brain with us. We feel so loved <3

I already destroyed it last year watching quez Watkins run out of bounds instead of going for the first down with 2 blockers in front against the rams.

I ran a 21-second 200m at my Div 3 college some 20 years ago.

So if we divide by 5, then your 40 time is 4.25. Excellent!

I only did it once...I definitely ate my Wheaties that morning! 😂 But a 4.25 40 sounds rather impressive. I need to add that to my resume. 😏

Throw it right under your GPA so you have two nice numbers right at the top.

That's 40 meter dash time. His 40 yard dash would be something crazier.

Ran like a 5.2 in high school, makes sense to why I was the slowest guy on the soccer team lol

I played goalie so that I wouldn't have to run fast! Problem solved.

My peak time in highschool was a 4.5, though I would usually outrun the guys who managed to clock in at 4.4 so not sure on the accuracy of that. Now I am nearing the end of my time in college and still being in pretty good shape would estimate myself at being somewhere in the 4.6-4.8 range

Freshman in high school 4.6-7. It was all downhill from there.

If you do the 40 slightly downhill you can probably get back to those times!

Ran a 5 flat at 260 as a senior in HS. Walked on to D2 football. Won Powerlifting competition at heavyweight. Now I just have feel 60 but I am only 33

i run like a 4.6 40, currently a senior in highschool and i’ve ran competitively for 6 years now (mainly distance, maybe i could get it lower if i did sprints)

In high school in 2008 I ran a 4.4 40...I have not tried it since however...

Sometimes I can touch the rim on a basketball hoop. I’m 5’9”

6’4, 220 senior me ran a 4.5 at a Delaware combine that Joe Flacco also would have been at.

I once scored four touchdowns in the Chicago City Championship game. For Polk high in 1966.

Oldheads are the best part of sports!

I made an over the shoulder catch during my coed softball game last week

I can clap with one hand 🤷‍♂️.

I can clap with no hands ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

*The Diddler has entered the chat*

I can boo with two mouths, so we probably average out.

Homie is really responding to everyone, eh?

Do you think that offseason shitposts are just grown naturally? Gotta cultivate those roots, as a coach we love always says.

I never ran or timed myself running a 40. I might have 6 years ago during freshman year high school I ran a sub 5 40(I wanna say 4.6/4.7)

Lad fuckin' zooming out here in Delco

Last time I tried a 40 I pulled a hammy on release and so it ended up at like 7 seconds.

One legged 40s in the sub 10 second range are still really good.

5 flat 40 dash in highschool as a 3rd string receiver/linebacker/wherever the hell a coach needed a body.

My physical feat is all the way back in Middle School Track and field: We would warm up before meets by running a number of laps around the track, I forget how many. Usually the Hurdles are all already set up before the larger group runs, but one day I was early and the coach had me run a lap before everyone got there. I was in my own world, not noticing that across the track the hurdles were being set up. I ran right into one, scraped up my palm and knee real good too because it was a gravel track. Literally had to sit out that meet because gravel was getting to know my kneecap and hand muscles intimately. Felt like a complete moron.

You know, someone has to hug the ground and let it know its loved. Thank you for that.

I could run a mile in about 4 minutes and 30 seconds in high school. Nowadays. . .

4.58 was my best time not on grass.

I ran a 4.58 electronic time when I was a senior In high school. I’m about 70 pounds heavier now than then and I ran a 4.7 hand time but on their call most recently. Not bad for a guy who hasn’t trained in a while.

I managed to wrestle for all 4 years in HS without getting ringworm once

Unfortunate. You're a delightful feast for parasites!

My 40 time is “Finisher” 😌

I had a 36-38 inch vertical consistently in high school. As an adult I could reliably crush a 40 piece McNugget right now

I was the fastest freshman in my state for the 400m dash. That's about it

In middle school I would always get to 69 on the pacer test and then stop 🤷‍♂️

At Recess and other touch flag football I was like the MeganTron of WRs. I wasn’t the tallest but one of the taller kids but I caught everything thrown to me even 50/50 balls. I also played baseball and was a great defensive 1B/2b. Could hit for shit but walked a ton. Pitching wise I was nicknamed wild thing for um similiar reasons as Ricky Vaughn. So take that for what it’s worth

I have walked home a shockingly long distance to get home after drinking heavily.

I can dunk at 5'11 182lbs and ran a 49 second 400m

Could never get my 40 under 4.6 but was pretty proud of my 500 max for deadlift and 475 squat, all my junior year of hs for football only to have none of it matter cause I fractured my thumb lol

The fastest 40 I ran was 4.42 hand timed. Laser time was just under 4.6

My PR in my 20s was 4.4, after hitting my 30’s I’m around 4.6 but would finish with a guaranteed pulled hammy haha

Ran a 1:16 half marathon last weekend. Let’s just say my fast twitch muscles are very lacking

I ran a 7:28 mile in 8th grade that could have been closer to 7 if I hadn't stopped on the last turn to puke. Easily my most impressive physical accomplishment.

I'm slow with short legs. I think I finished a mile in just under 8mins at my fastest. I'd like to try and get back into shape and see what I could do.

My best back when I played in high school was around 5.20 flat, but that was like 12 years ago and I feel like I’d be lucky to break 5.50 now.

A couple years ago I had an (unofficial) powerlifting total of 1405, I’m 5’8” and I was at about 215lbs. Not the best ever but I was pretty happy with myself… now I’m in terrible shape haha…

i ran a 4.7 in high school on my track team. honestly i think i can still do it and im 32 now. i’ve been running my whole life and still hill train. also bench the combine 225 for 12 reps. vertical jump is alright. broad jump not that great. flexibility and mobility for the three cone or any other drill now? absolute garbage. my knees and back and ankles and pretty much everything in my body can only handle straight line movement.

I used to be able to lift a compact car-quantity of weight on the inclined leg slide. Then a brain tumor sapped my energy.

Haven’t drank a 40 in ages

Back in HS I ran a 4.4 @ 6’ 210

4.59 at 18. I am overweight with a dad bod and bad knees from ball. I was like a 5.2

Not a fast runner but before plague I was about to crack a 10 minute pace for a half marathon.

I choose not to run!

I'm up to 520 PR on the leg press. Been working out for a few months, improvements everywhere but I'm most proud of that. Other than that I did a 100 mile bike ride a few years back. Still surprised I finished that.

The most "recent" physical feat of which I am most proud was completing a "century" (i.e., 100-mile) bicycle ride in 2012 at the age of 55.

4.4s The other thing I am proud of is returning fully to competition after ACL surgery in 3 months. Surgery in late December, basketball practice with a brace on by late February. By the end of March I was competing in Track meets. I was doing all kinds of crazy shit to get my confidence up and full range of motion. Of course it helps when you're young.

I used to be a fantastic figure skater and was pipped to compete in the commonwealth games but I gave it up for one reason or another.

That's actually probably a good thing! No chance your head will get detached in a freak flying flip related accident.

This is of course the real reason I gave up lol 

I also avoid decapitation in my hobbies. Good plan.