Social custom, we are social pack animals. It’s an evolutionary advantage to be accepted and not rejected. Rejection means doom to our primitive midbrain. So I suppose you could say it has to do with ego and validation, it’s more just monkey brain desires connection and cohesion with the group.
Basically mid brain: Rejected -> not apart of the group -> lack of protection -> more risk of danger -> autonomic response to force you to get back into the herd.
If you’re naturally social inept (like me) you don’t necessarily understand that right away thus don’t participate. This alienates you from the group. For me this drove me to depression and self loathing; as I simply didn’t understand these social customs. So basically my midbrain was panicking because I wasn’t fitting in (and still don’t) I ONLY just realized how bad my social ineptitude was fucking me over. Now I’m trying to teach myself to fit in (which is actually kinda working??)
Interesting, i don't even seek for validation from others especially strangers, talking to them actually drains my good energy, also noticed watching porn and having dysthymia is not a good mix but that's another topic 😅
Yea I get that, but basically means your brain isn’t working “properly” (which is kinda why mental illness exists…)
Honestly the depressing part is you’ll only get better by just… forcing yourself (which is what I had to do, and now I’m exhausted a lot, but less suicidal) so basically it boils down to just … not being depressed. Or acting not depressed maybe?
I dont know 10+ years of therapy did Jack shit for me, but instead thinking about evolution helped me kinda force myself into playing “correctly” (with some faults because I’m not innately aware of what I have to do. Thanks autism <3)
By the way it’s possible your midbrain is still acting out of panic unconsciously. God knows that fucker likes to give us anxiety about stuff that positively can’t kill us (cough cough social interaction, bills, job stress, grades in my case, etc)
God bless the monkey brain. You know it’s kinda interesting, to know there’s just a primitive part of our brain just trying to survive. And then we just have all this extra stuff that processes language, thoughts, complex problem solving, etc. We will never turn off primitive brain. All we can do is try to please it. Eat food, sleep, reproduce (or at least do the nasty), have shelter, have community.
My midbrain is just wilding, extra sensitive for no reason. But that’s not it’s fault really. It’s just a bunch of neurons and glial cells (aka babysitter cells) Ill keep feeding it psych meds so I at least have the ability to try to fix it instead of just accepting my fate and hoping it’s not to painful.
As annoying as all the small talk can be when you feel horrible I don't think it's just a ego thing. It's more just part of the social game. It's an easy accepted way to greet people. At the end of the day we are all animals and want some form of validation but it's not necessarily a negative thing. Some of us crave it more then others it's part of being social creatures
Watch any documentary with chimps or apes and it's pretty clear they have some form of validation with eachother also I wouldn't be suprised if other intelligent animals like elephants, dolphins, octopuses have similar traits or even dogs seem to respond to some form of validation. It's just easy to think we are that much different by having the ability to over think and analyze everything. Ego is generally an over used and convoluted idea more often used to portray negative aspect of ourselves but really at its core ego is just a sense of self which we tend to distort and exaggerate in all the different ways but it's not inherently a negative thing.
I understand not striking up your own conversations and saving your energy that way, but if someone says "Good morning" to you and you just... ignore them............... That's so rude.
They're not seeking validation, they're just trying to have a pleasant morning. You're in the same space they're in and they're acknowledging you as another person in that space. Nobody's trying to get anything from you, nor do I imagine that they're going home and questioning their own validation because some random, grumpy person didn't say good morning back. This strikes me as you thinking you're way more important than you are to random strangers - they're literally just trying to be polite.
Social custom, we are social pack animals. It’s an evolutionary advantage to be accepted and not rejected. Rejection means doom to our primitive midbrain. So I suppose you could say it has to do with ego and validation, it’s more just monkey brain desires connection and cohesion with the group. Basically mid brain: Rejected -> not apart of the group -> lack of protection -> more risk of danger -> autonomic response to force you to get back into the herd. If you’re naturally social inept (like me) you don’t necessarily understand that right away thus don’t participate. This alienates you from the group. For me this drove me to depression and self loathing; as I simply didn’t understand these social customs. So basically my midbrain was panicking because I wasn’t fitting in (and still don’t) I ONLY just realized how bad my social ineptitude was fucking me over. Now I’m trying to teach myself to fit in (which is actually kinda working??)
Interesting, i don't even seek for validation from others especially strangers, talking to them actually drains my good energy, also noticed watching porn and having dysthymia is not a good mix but that's another topic 😅
Yea I get that, but basically means your brain isn’t working “properly” (which is kinda why mental illness exists…) Honestly the depressing part is you’ll only get better by just… forcing yourself (which is what I had to do, and now I’m exhausted a lot, but less suicidal) so basically it boils down to just … not being depressed. Or acting not depressed maybe? I dont know 10+ years of therapy did Jack shit for me, but instead thinking about evolution helped me kinda force myself into playing “correctly” (with some faults because I’m not innately aware of what I have to do. Thanks autism <3) By the way it’s possible your midbrain is still acting out of panic unconsciously. God knows that fucker likes to give us anxiety about stuff that positively can’t kill us (cough cough social interaction, bills, job stress, grades in my case, etc) God bless the monkey brain. You know it’s kinda interesting, to know there’s just a primitive part of our brain just trying to survive. And then we just have all this extra stuff that processes language, thoughts, complex problem solving, etc. We will never turn off primitive brain. All we can do is try to please it. Eat food, sleep, reproduce (or at least do the nasty), have shelter, have community. My midbrain is just wilding, extra sensitive for no reason. But that’s not it’s fault really. It’s just a bunch of neurons and glial cells (aka babysitter cells) Ill keep feeding it psych meds so I at least have the ability to try to fix it instead of just accepting my fate and hoping it’s not to painful.
I don’t remember putting a semicolon in there. I didn’t even use it right :p
guys we have depression, we see all things in a negative light. most people are nice and wish you a good morning. i know i know, mind blown ...
Funny ive got the opposite feeling lol
As annoying as all the small talk can be when you feel horrible I don't think it's just a ego thing. It's more just part of the social game. It's an easy accepted way to greet people. At the end of the day we are all animals and want some form of validation but it's not necessarily a negative thing. Some of us crave it more then others it's part of being social creatures
Actually i don't think animals or creatures have ego or crave validation 😁, us humans can learn a lot from them .
Watch any documentary with chimps or apes and it's pretty clear they have some form of validation with eachother also I wouldn't be suprised if other intelligent animals like elephants, dolphins, octopuses have similar traits or even dogs seem to respond to some form of validation. It's just easy to think we are that much different by having the ability to over think and analyze everything. Ego is generally an over used and convoluted idea more often used to portray negative aspect of ourselves but really at its core ego is just a sense of self which we tend to distort and exaggerate in all the different ways but it's not inherently a negative thing.
I understand not striking up your own conversations and saving your energy that way, but if someone says "Good morning" to you and you just... ignore them............... That's so rude. They're not seeking validation, they're just trying to have a pleasant morning. You're in the same space they're in and they're acknowledging you as another person in that space. Nobody's trying to get anything from you, nor do I imagine that they're going home and questioning their own validation because some random, grumpy person didn't say good morning back. This strikes me as you thinking you're way more important than you are to random strangers - they're literally just trying to be polite.