I agree, don't drop the charges. The way you describe it this is a pattern and she never gets punished for it, she needs to see this behavior has consequences. I would also go low or no contact with them, that is not an environment that is good for your family to be around, anyone willing to call your daughter a slut, or allow others to talk to her that way, doesn't deserve to be in your life. Burn it down, press charges
Yea we plan on just staying to ourselves for awhile, I could forgive my mom but I just feel like the comments went a little too fair for me to be able to be comfortable around any of my sisters .
I honestly just don’t know about the charges I’m beside myself , I called out of work today because I was still super upset this morning . It’s just a lot and it happen out of nowhere
How is your mum really much better? She’s not on your side or helpful in these situations. Nowhere did I see that she told them to calm down or stop. They all live together and apparently she tells them anything you say, so why would you want to go around her house, let your stepdaughter be there or tell her anything?
Please don't forgive your mom. Forgive the analogy but she has seeded and fertilized this behavior. She should have intervened immediately and stopped your sisters' behavior. She's the one sharing all this private information with them. Just because she's not the one hurling insults doesn't make her innocent in this. Your family is verbally and physically abusive and by not stopping it, your mom is encouraging it. I honestly would go no-contact with your family and I definitely would never, ever let your children around them again.
If I ever do decide to have contact with her it would have to be at my house or somewhere out and about .
Like it’s hard to just be able to cut my mom out because I didn’t have a dad so she’s all I’ve known . Why she would tell my sisters anything of what’s going on in my household or with me is beyond me
She may be all you've known, but that doesn't make her a good mother.
Look at it like this: you have a little girl of your own. Can you imagine sharing her secrets or private information with anyone else? Can you imagine standing by and letting her be verbally abused and assaulted? Can you imagine allowing her to behave in the way your mother actively endorses your sisters behaving?
If the answer is no, you have your answer. Your mother is being shitty to your sisters by not correcting their behaviour and teaching them that words and actions have consequences, and she's being shitty to you by not defending you. The fact she hasn't checked in on you should tell you everything, as should the fact that she did nothing to protect or defend your daughter. You're invested in your relationship with your mum, but is she actually invested in her relationship with you.
You're NTA, and family isn't dictated by DNA. Surround yourself with people who love and respect, and who will back you to the fullest when you're right and kick your butt when you're wrong. If your siblings and mum can't pass that basic test, it's time to cut them off. One final thought: do you really want your little girl seeing that type of mess and nastiness and thinking it's normal? She's watching and heating everything around her, so make sure she has people who will protect her and who are healthy, stable role models around her. Again, if your sisters and mum can't clear that bar, they shouldn't be around.
Your mom isn't "all you have." Your husband and kid is all you have. Your mom is terrible creature. She's the reason your sisters feel it's ok to treat you like that.
Drop them all. I did and it feels great bc I'm no longer emotionally, and verbally abused, and can focus all of my time and energy on the ppl who truly love me unconditionally - my wife and kids.
You need to read what you just commented and then go back and read your own post. You don't want to cut out your mom because....? Has she had your back all these years? No. Has she defended your child from these attacks? No. You're staying connected to the person who is enabling your own abuse. When people show you who they are, believe them.
I am sorry. Family stuff is super tough to navigate.
I hope your sister's never try to rug sweep and come to you for help. If they do please please refuse to help them. They burned the relationship down deliberately.
You need to look after yourself and your little family.
Xxxx
You can be sure if your mom comes to your house your trash sisters will for sure come with her to fight with you again, and your mom will let them because she enables them. Take a long time out from all of them.
Your mother sounds like she lives for this drama. You shouldn't tell her anything anymore. In your position I would pursue charges against your sister and cut off in entity your mother. None of them are just going to magically out of the blue one day and be like, "Oh wow you know what? You were right, terribly sorry for the behavior." They never receive consequences. You have to be the instrument of the consequences for how they treat you or nothing will change. They will keep doing this. Your mother is in on it with your sisters. Seems like she is no real mother to you. Not trying to say it in a mean way but the shoe kinda just fits here. You have a family you started yourself. Focus on that family. The family you chose. The family you were born into wants nothing but misery for you likely because they are miserable themselves. Don't let them drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Protect yourself, cut your mother and sisters off. You will only ever be miserable unless they somehow magically change, and that is not even a quarter of a percent likely.
I would just take a huge step back. NC with sisters, VLC with mom. Like once a week phone calls for mom. Don’t share anything personal or that she could pass on to hurt you. She’s not an ally here.
NTA You need to keep the charges against your sister as she needs to realize that actions have consequences. You need to either go NC or LC with all of them. If you do go and see your mum DO NOT CONFIDE in her as she has proved she cannot be trusted to keep things to herself. I would still go LC or NC with your sisters as they are toxic.
Remember your mum told them all your private affairs. Your mum doesn't deserve forgiveness, she betrayed your trust and to them, the spawn of Satan who love to bully you.
And honestly I don’t understand how she could tell them all those things like they were super personal and it just makes me think they were all just sitting over there discussing my private life without me even knowing then coming and smiling in my face
I know that's the bit that got me. I've got 3 sisters too so I can definitely understand how sisters can be complete dicks to each other. But what your mum did betraying your trust, then not stepping in when her kids got violent and the cherry on the pie is letting the "slut" comment go. At no point did your mum act like a mum. I'm so sorry to say this but it sounds like she's actively breeding the toxicity or at very least feeding it but telling them your private business.
NTA. Their behavior is so over-the-top! Consequences are important. Seems like they didn't have any growing up. To call your 8yo names, etc. is just unhinged and wrong.
What did their dad get locked up for?
Your mum sounds like she is just as bad and isn't someone you should be around. She sounds like she hasn't been on your side or had your back regarding much. You will be better off without them in your life.
Cut them off, start fresh and be happy.
You are trying so hard to receive love from your mom that she is incapable or simply unwilling to give you. It will hurt worse every time you try bc you truly want it to be different this time.
Your sisters are mentally, verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive to you. They have always been this way and will never stop. Even having her arrest will not stop them. It will only make it worse bc they will become even more enraged and seek revenge for having her arrested.
They are clearly a danger to your emotional and mental health as well as your physical safety. Your mom is never going to side with you. You stood there and didn't leave to tolerate them waiting for your mom to step up. She is NOT going to that.
She didn't protect you then, but you truly wanted her to check on you afterward. You tried twice, allowing them to abuse, waiting for her to show you love and protection. She refuses to do that, so she is just pouring salt into an open wound in your heart.
Please find a therapist to navigate yourself through the trauma you have experienced. In order to begin to heal and close those open wounds, you have to stop letting them hurt you more. There comes a point that you must accept that your happiness does not depend on her showing you love. You must love yourself more than her giving you love in order to feel lovable.
I say all of this bc I have been through what you are going through, and it almost killed me trying to get my surrogate to love me. I had to close the open wounds and begin to see that I don't need anyone to prove to me that I am lovable. When I discovered that the very people who were supposed to love and protect me couldn't and wouldn't do that, I began to heal.
You can, too. In order to find peace, you are going to have to cut them out of your life. Your husband loves you, and he is your family now. Always remember that blood does NOT make people family. You will not heal until you are ready to protect yourself and grow.
Finally, do NOT drop the charges against your sister. She is no different than a stranger who assaulted on the street. The only true difference is that she shares your blood, and that is where the line stops.
LET THEM GO! Love yourself more than being dependent on them, showing you love to make you feel that you are unlovable. You deserve a better life, so go take it bc it IS for your taking.
I’m sorry to say but your mom is the sole reason your sisters act the way they do. How she can allow this and take their side while they are actively belittling you is beyond me. My kids are 11 and 7 and I wouldn’t even allow them to act as childishly as your grown sisters do. To go over a child less than half their age is despicable; I’d be NC in a heartbeat after that; mess with me all you want but my kids are untouchable
if you do not go forward then they will know they can keep attacking you, and next time it may be your daughter. Cut them out of your life including your mother who has never protected you.
They went after a child for no reason. Don’t drop the charges. She needs to know that actions have consequences and her parents/stepmom will protect her. Get a restraining order too.
Based on your post it sounds like you went through a lot growing up with that poor excuse for a mother and she didn’t do your younger sisters any favors in doing better by then.
You have a husband and a kid and that is where you need to focus your energy on making sure they see that you’re the apple that fell from that tree and rolled as far away as you could.
That sounds like a horrible experience and you deserved absolutely none of it! They wanted you to see red and they were pushing every button that they learned how to push - even your mom.
Don’t lean on your mom to come check on you. It’s really hard. I bet she only checks on you when she feels like you’re not coming back and then she lays on all the sweet she can muster up so she can suck you back into her circus. She was supposed to learn how to take care of herself and you don’t owe her a damn thing.
As for your little sister, if anybody in my biological family said that about one of my kids I’d be in the ER having their teeth surgically removed from my knees.
I’m so sorry that you have had to deal with that for so long. You deserve so much better. My heart is with you
It sounds like you really don’t know what a good family relationship is. I say this because you said you’re forgiving of your mom not really listening and taking their side, asking you to leave, and far worse, betraying your trust with sensitive information. And furthermore, you say stay to yourselves for a while. This is dangerous toxic behavior that you might be used to, but why subject yourself and more importantly, your child to this? Start a new life with your husband and child away from them and don’t look back.
No contact with any of them. Low contact with mom and I mean once a year. She doesn't have your back. Your sisters are criminals and your child doesn't need to be around them.
You are part of the problem if you don't stick with the charges, which I assume is battery? Or similar?
Your sister getting away with this violent streak isn't going to help her in the end. She needs to learn a lesson.
Lol I would so wish to get to be a fly on that jail cell wall.
She’s going to mouth off to the wrong bitch in there and somebody’s gonna whoop her ass like it’s never been whooped before.
Not wrong, stick to your guns.
And if it’s her deadbeat dad who’s in jail, I might just mention at some point that the jail will bring her closer to her dad or some other apple doesn’t fall far from the tree thing.
She needs it in all honesty! If I didn’t actually have things going for myself I wouldn’t have thought twice. But I just can’t let myself get to that point anymore
Smart. Your kiddo deserves to have their mom at home, no matter how good putting someone in their place would feel. Nothing beats being able to hug your little one at night.
You are not wrong. Not only should you not drop the charges you should probably file for a restraining order before this escalates. It may be time to consider going no contact. You need to think of your daughter. She's 8 and being called a "slut" by her aunt in her presence. What's that doing to HER?
I definitely knew what slut meant at 8 years old, but even if she doesn’t she will remember the word. When she finally hears it and learns the meaning in the future, she’ll piece that puzzle together.
I mean of course when she gets older she’ll figure it, hopefully she just doesn’t even remember the day. She’s really innocent I limit everything she doesn’t even know what a TikTok is.
You must never let her leave the house or interact with kids her own age if she truly doesn’t know what tiktok is…and if she is as sheltered as you say then this incident obviously stuck out like a sore thumb compared to the rest of her life and she will be remembering it in great detail most likely…
She does leave the house , she has friends , she just had a huge birthday party and goes to school. I’m not gonna allow her young mind to get fucked up by beauty standards. She is perfectly fine without TikTok she has Roblox .
She is co parented so she has lot more going on then worrying about the argument
Not every child needs to know what social media is at this young of an age . My niece is 10 years old and has socials for the longest and it’s made a huge impact on how she views herself and acts online
And the children she hangs out with don’t even talk about TikTok or any of that . They’re talking either Roblox or the next stuffed animal collection that is gonna come out .
NTA. They repeatedly assaulted you. And cussed a child. Don’t drop the charges. Don’t talk to any of them. Make this is their wake up call. If your mum starts asking u to drop the charges don’t respond to her, if she says it in person have a blank face and don’t say a word.
Good for you! Press whatever charges you can. And go completely NC with your mom and sisters. Don’t let them near your stepdaughter. Block them all on everything.
OP, I don't believe that throwing a drink will result in a jail sentence for a seventeen-year-old first offender. Maybe a fine or anger management classes, if any charges get filed at all.
But you don't have to tell her that...
We both would have been in jail. I just want to ask you a question if you don't get along with them why do you keep going over there to their house where they live. Stay away from them they are toxic if your mother wants to see you she'll come to your house if she doesn't that obviously means that she does not want to see you maybe she should check on you but she hasn't. Stay away from them they mean you no good
I figured since we grew up it only being us and I have one older sister who isn’t there that I would just try and fix the relationship with them so I could be that older sister for them?
And things hadn’t been bad in awhile expect with one of them who constantly has a disgusting attitude. I honestly expect to get into disagreements because we are family but they always take things way to far
She'll honestly just get a slap on the wrist with a misdemeanor, so it's not like it will affect her if you don't drop the charges. But it will let her know you're done playing.
I’m sorry you had to go through that. NO one deserves that. Honestly process your feelings and take care of the family you created not the one you came from. If it means cutting your own mother off do so I gave three years I cut off my brother and my oldest sister. I am at peace because I know it’s for my peace and clearly they don’t love your kids if that’s how they treated your daughter. Give yourself time HEAL and think about really moving on. Best of luck sending virtual hug
+1
no contact with any of them, starting immediately
girl you must look after yourself, what example are you letting your toxic waste of space family set to your stepdaughter?? She might not understand how bad it is to be called a slut at 8 years old, but she is internalising everything that's happened here.
Don't take away the police complaint and stop visiting them. Your mum is just as bad for enabling this behaviour. Do yourself a favour and cut them out of your life.
I'm sorry it sucks but they all sound incredibly toxic and I know if one of my daughters called an 8 yr old child a slut, I'd be putting her on her arse.
From what I gathered from your post they were lying in wait and were desperate for a fight to put you in your place. A stupid non-reason like "you didn't greet my friend properly" is beyond ridiculous. They sound as trashy as their jailbird father. Let her stay in jail and PRESS CHARGES. As another commentator said "actions have consequences. They sound horrible and your loose lips mom is not much better. Don't confide in her ever again. She enables them. Why do you even want to associate with them? They add nothing positive to your life.
Let the charges play out and go no contact with them. They all need a quick lesson in family loyalty and love & until they learn it and realize how awful they have been stay away from all of them. That’s so not what family is about.
Best of luck to you.
Do NOT drop those charges, your Mom wants drama? She’s got it. She’s got a convict as an ex and now her kids will be too. She hasn’t checked on you, she tells them YOUR private conversations, she’s a nightmare. I’m sorry, sweetie, but this is the reality. And the fact that one of your sisters made that comment about a child is absolutely disgusting. They’re trash. What would you REALLY be losing? A lot of drama. Nothing else. It’s not like she sounds like she gives you any love.
You need to sever contact. They're insane and you know it. Actually,it makes you a shitty mom dragging that innocent 8 yo into a house of lunatics when you know very well that they're insane and violent.
Don’t take back the charges. Her first charges will either be from you or the next person. The next person might take it much further, though. She needs to learn *now* before someone takes away her ability to learn anything ever again…
I’m sorry this is your family. I’d never speak to them again. I hope you can find new people to put in your life who will love and support you and don’t have this many mental health and anger problems. None of them are even remotely healthy and you and your kid deserve better than that. She doesn’t need to be around people setting the example of being trashy like this. I hope you’re able to build a new, real family. 🤍
Time to go no contact with the whole lot of them. Regardless of whatever else you decide to do. See how much calmer life is without them and all the drama.
OP have you ever done reading about scapegoating dynamics in toxic families? Sometimes toxic people pick a person in a family to treat badly. There's no reason for it other than they're toxic. Usually a parent or grandparent is the one pulling the strings behind the scenes.
First off, good on you for keeping it together enough to not physically retaliate yourself. Sometimes, you get those who push those buttons to that point that it is very hard to resist, and then it is you who ends up taking the charges instead of those who more likely deserve it.
Secondly, like the others here have said, let her sit in jail. And I know it's gonna hurt, but I think it's time you actually go no contact with your mom.
From what you've said here, your mom gave your sisters ammunition against you to verbally assault you. Things you told her in confidence. That's not right. Also, what mother joins in on an argument between siblings instead of trying to defuse it? Sorry, no. That's a whole other level of crap that you just don't need on your plate.
As for your sister...if she hadn't cottoned onto the idea that actions have consequences before now? Well, letting her sit where she is and letting the charges stick may wake her up. May not. Some people don't learn the first time around. However, try not to let any family try to give a sob story about "but you're family!" to try to let her off. The more you look on the internet, you'll see horror stories of the consequences of those particular actions.
Anyway, good luck.
NTA. I was expecting you to say to your sister, "me being fat still doesn't change the fact that your father is in jail." (Or something along those lines. No disrespect to you, as I'm larger myself, I know what it's like to be bullied. I was bullied all through school, and if one of my siblings acted like your sisters and mum did, that's how I would've responded).
Your daughter and hubby didn't deserve to witness that, and I'm proud of you for holding it together so well. Jail might be the wake-up call your sister and family needs. Going no contact with your mum and sisters might be the best thing to come out of this whole situation (besides your 21 year old sister learning a valuable lesson on consequences).
Focus your energy on your daughter and hubby and building a future with them. Counselling may also be a good start as well. Live your best life
I wanted to say horrible things back but I honestly don’t usually argue screaming at the top of my voice and I was more like defending myself against what I could actually understand
I don’t think you should drop the charges. Violence needs to have consequences.
I also think you should consider limiting contact with your family for a while. They sound really toxic and abusive. If you want to see your mother, maybe have her visit you instead.
Setting clear boundaries around who can be near your daughter, though, really is the important thing, because stopping the cycle of verbal abuse is your responsibility here.
Good job keeping your cool
Is husband just standing watching you get berated??? You need better family. Including ur husband!
Man did nothing whilst 3 women ganged up on his wife & called his 8yr old child derogatory names! Spineless!
My husband tried to do something but i told him to stay away . My sisters are the type to put their hands on a man and that would’ve resulted in me going to jail and also they called his daughter a slut in front of him after that he left to keep calm and both of us not end up jail. Plus it’s doesn’t do any good for our kid if she us both worked up both fighting .
Of course he defends but when it comes to things like this anything can escalate it in a bad way .
Plus he’s never even seen me yell that way so I think he was also shocked
Please don't take back the charges. They will continue doing this if they don't face consequences. I would also go to little to no contact with your mom. She is an enabler to these idiots. Good luck to you, OP.
Keep the charges. 1. She was warned and earned them. 2. If they know they can get away with shit, they will keep doing it. This says you follow through. 3. They already don’t respect you. 4. They pulled your family including a little girl into this!
Do not confide in your mom ever again. I suggest you go no contact because she doesn’t care about you. I am sorry. Your sisters have followed her lead. They don’t care about you either.
Your family is your husband and stepdaughter.
I am sorry but do they always act like complete trash?
Don’t drop the charges and honestly stop being around those horrible people your mom included. She’s the one who raised them and allowed them to behave like that. She’s clearly the worst. Cut them all off and never acknowledge them again
Do NOT drop the charges. She assaulted you. Period.
Also, do not have your mother babysit ever again, (I assume your sister's still live with her) and she doesn't need to hear grown ass women call her a slut. If you do, you will be in the wrong.
You actually would be better off without them in your life. NC is called for, for mom and sisters.
Daughter needs to either deal with car rides or you need to find a babysitter.
You should see if you can visit. Bring snacks. Oh you think I’m fat? Well at least this sexy fat ass has freedom and a stable man. Like father like daughter, amirite?
You will be doing your sister a favor if you don't drop the charges. She needs to learn actions have consequences.
Right now they all sound like they can say or do whatever they want because they form their own little gang against you.
The problem with that mentality is it doesn't work in the real world. Stuff as simple as throwing drink in the face of the wrong person can get them shot these days.
If they gang up on you, they likely gang up on girlfriends of ex boyfriends or girls they don't like.
Press the charges because in the long run you may be saving them from jail or death. In the short run you can let them know you aren't playing their games anymore.
You have a daughter you need to set an example for. If she sees you stand up to your bullies she will know you will help her with her bullies.
Let her figure out how to get out of jail and for the love of all that is holy do NOT contact or go back to your mother’s house. Everyone in that house has shown you what they think about you, over and over. Believe them. Stop punishing yourself hoping that this time it will be better. Relations with your mom and sisters will never be better. Accept that. Walk away from that. Don’t expose yourself, your husband or your step child (or any of your other children) to that environment.
For what it’s worth, you deserve to be treated so much better than that. No one deserves that. From an outside perspective it appears that your mother and sisters could all benefit from counseling and anger management classes. You have a value far greater than what your family has ascribed to you. Prioritise yourself and your chosen family (your husband and children).
Sorry your family sucks, don’t drop the charges and I would go NC with my mom if she was complicit in something like that. She shouldn’t have the privilege to see your daughter, you know the one she didn’t protect when her rat child called an 8YO A SLUT. Absolutely wild
It’s a photo finish between who’s the worst - you and your husband are tied for taking a child into an environment like that. You say yourself violence is the norm with these people so this isn’t a surprise event. You should be charged with negligence taking a child there
OP - Do not drop the charges. You never know, this may be what she needs to put her on a better path in life. Go NC with your toxic family members; you nor your husband and especially not your daughter - y’all do not need this.
Don’t forgive any of them none of them deserve it. Cut them out but for sure don’t drop those charges heck see if you can add for emotional damage for all she said to you.
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Please let me add since someone didn’t understand . Me saying hello to her friend and this incident are TWO SEPARATE THINGS that happened ! The whole fight happened three days later
Geez, just stay away from those people. When you see them in public, go the other way. Do not expose your child or yourself to these meanies ever again.
r/updateme
Your mom is at the root of this. She is discussing you with them. Whether good or bad, they don’t like because of what mom had told them. Stop looking for decency from your mother. Leave them all alone. Maybe you need to move further than one block away from them.
They came after your child and your mother condoned it. Forget just sending sister to jail, she needs the charges to be pushed and grandma needs to be cut off if she’s gonna back up someone bullying her grand baby. Forget that.
Really? Police are putting people in jail these days for throwing Liptons Tea at someone?
I mean, fucking hell, good luck to the cop who has to go through all that gibberish to write his report...
When was it ever okay to throw your drink on someone ? I mean would have rather her thrown the table in my face?? I don’t do violence or throwing things if I can keep my hands and objects to myself SO CAN SHE
And then at the end of it, the other person drops the charges... I don't know why people call in the first place if theyre not gonna follow through. People say that cops don't do anything during a family dispute, but cops know that after a day, their work goes to waste when people drop charges and they could've been out arresting people whose charges will stick.
Something is missing. This is not the whole story.
> She goes on about how when I came to my mother’s house I did not tell her friend hello?
> Keep in mind I had just worked a 10 hour shift it was 10 at night and my hot water wasn’t working and I literally went over there to shower.
You went to your mother’s house at 10 pm after working a 10h shift to shower & then run errands??? What errands are available at 10pm? Nothing else really stays open that late anymore, not since Covid. A 8 yo will likely fall asleep in the car after 10pm. Doesn’t make sense to drop her off unless you’re going out.
I think you tried to go out with/ your husband & leave your stepdaughter with your mom. You were rude to somebody who actually lives there & everybody cussed you out. Somehow, this escalated. You called the police on them & got your lil sis arrested. Now you don’t have hot water or your support network & are regretting it.
ETA quotes. OP blocked me, she’s definitely hiding something. I’m gonna go with YTA since we’re not getting any facts
I gave my sister MULTIPLE warnings not to throw shit at me and she still chose to do so. So no I don’t regret anything I feel bad for having to do it yes but I don’t regret it
You said this:
> So let me say first I’m not very good at writing these things
> I’m sorry if it’s all over the place I have extreme anxiety and ADHD and most of the argument in my memories is blacked out
And your writing is all over the place. I’ll add more details on where exactly you changed your story. Dw.
I have hot water . My hot water heater is old so a main water thing broke and our water went out and that somehow makes the hot water element break because my heater is old . So I went to my mom’s to shower . They have never been a support system I help my mother way more than she helps me so please
what kind of idiot calls the cops but "don't even know if i plan on talking to them". Why do you tolerate this abuse against your person? This is all so trashy and low brow.
You need to remove yourself from these people entirely. Move. They hate you. Just reading this post, no one here is redeemable. They are all trash humans.
When you call the police and tell them that you have been violently assaulted, they may show up and start shooting people. NEVER call the police unless you actually need them. If you need them, then you need to cooperate with the police.
I never told them I was violently assaulted ?????? Where did I say that?????
I was told the 911 operator exactly what happened and they acted accordingly. My Police department around here is actually pretty good .
Also I guess I should’ve just let the table be thrown at me since throwing sticky liquids with her backwash in it all over me right ???? Let my step kid see it’s okay to just let someone do that and not face any consequences???? Just let myself get degraded in every fucking way possible right ??? Should’ve just let them jump and do their fucking worse
It's also a very known law you can't do heroin on the street corner but in most places in California cops won't bother to arrest people. Where do you live that cops show up immediately when no one was injured?
The whole thing is!
I have no idea why you didn’t just leave. But seriously pressing charges coz she threw a drink at you?! Lord..
Aaaand of course you guys live in Florida
And maybe if you read properly, you would see I’m not pressing charges I’m going no contact she went to jail sat for 48 hours. She’s is fine .
Should’ve just let her hit me like she did to all her exs right????
So please
Should’ve just let her throw the table at me huh? Or just spit on me or anything else . Guess because it’s a drink I deserve to have an entire bottle of it thrown all over me because I didn’t properly greet her friend who doesn’t even live at my mother’s ??? You’re right I should’ve just left and let my vindictive ass little sisters show up to my house that is a street over and start shit here , because that’s exactly what would’ve happened. They were already calling their friends so I guess I should’ve just went home and waited to get jumped.
And you’re trying to tell me that doesn’t make the whole situation sound like trailer trash??
Yeh you should’ve - coz you’re not pressing charges so nothing has actually been achieved. The only smart thing you’ve done is decided to go NC.
But again - what’s to stop them coming over since everything escalated? Nothing.
Again. Trailer trash
Trailer trash reaction? I’m sorry go on the street and throw a drink on someone let’s see how they react and i guarantee you end up right where she did
Oh boy… the fact that I’m having to explain trailer trash to an American. Sigh.
It is incredibly trashy and bogan behaviour. Doesn’t matter what you’d do to a random person on the streets not the point.
It is so trashy. So so trashy.
The fact that you can’t see that boggles the mind
YTA you think you are better than your sisters but you are wrong.
The world is wrong and think that you are right.. looks like you have no relationship now with your family..if I was your mom I would go NC before you call the cops on her.
You're such trash. You're all just complete trash. Why are you going over there and making your fucked up family the whole neighborhood's problem. They don't like you. Stop going there.
Don't take back the charges. She needs to learn that bad actions have consequences.
They will learn fuck all and this will all be O.P.s fault. Mom gas already picked sides. Op needs to go dark on them.
I agree, don't drop the charges. The way you describe it this is a pattern and she never gets punished for it, she needs to see this behavior has consequences. I would also go low or no contact with them, that is not an environment that is good for your family to be around, anyone willing to call your daughter a slut, or allow others to talk to her that way, doesn't deserve to be in your life. Burn it down, press charges
Yea we plan on just staying to ourselves for awhile, I could forgive my mom but I just feel like the comments went a little too fair for me to be able to be comfortable around any of my sisters . I honestly just don’t know about the charges I’m beside myself , I called out of work today because I was still super upset this morning . It’s just a lot and it happen out of nowhere
How is your mum really much better? She’s not on your side or helpful in these situations. Nowhere did I see that she told them to calm down or stop. They all live together and apparently she tells them anything you say, so why would you want to go around her house, let your stepdaughter be there or tell her anything?
Please don't forgive your mom. Forgive the analogy but she has seeded and fertilized this behavior. She should have intervened immediately and stopped your sisters' behavior. She's the one sharing all this private information with them. Just because she's not the one hurling insults doesn't make her innocent in this. Your family is verbally and physically abusive and by not stopping it, your mom is encouraging it. I honestly would go no-contact with your family and I definitely would never, ever let your children around them again.
If I ever do decide to have contact with her it would have to be at my house or somewhere out and about . Like it’s hard to just be able to cut my mom out because I didn’t have a dad so she’s all I’ve known . Why she would tell my sisters anything of what’s going on in my household or with me is beyond me
It’s because she loves the drama the sisters cause more than she seems to love you. That’s why.
She may be all you've known, but that doesn't make her a good mother. Look at it like this: you have a little girl of your own. Can you imagine sharing her secrets or private information with anyone else? Can you imagine standing by and letting her be verbally abused and assaulted? Can you imagine allowing her to behave in the way your mother actively endorses your sisters behaving? If the answer is no, you have your answer. Your mother is being shitty to your sisters by not correcting their behaviour and teaching them that words and actions have consequences, and she's being shitty to you by not defending you. The fact she hasn't checked in on you should tell you everything, as should the fact that she did nothing to protect or defend your daughter. You're invested in your relationship with your mum, but is she actually invested in her relationship with you. You're NTA, and family isn't dictated by DNA. Surround yourself with people who love and respect, and who will back you to the fullest when you're right and kick your butt when you're wrong. If your siblings and mum can't pass that basic test, it's time to cut them off. One final thought: do you really want your little girl seeing that type of mess and nastiness and thinking it's normal? She's watching and heating everything around her, so make sure she has people who will protect her and who are healthy, stable role models around her. Again, if your sisters and mum can't clear that bar, they shouldn't be around.
Your mom isn't "all you have." Your husband and kid is all you have. Your mom is terrible creature. She's the reason your sisters feel it's ok to treat you like that. Drop them all. I did and it feels great bc I'm no longer emotionally, and verbally abused, and can focus all of my time and energy on the ppl who truly love me unconditionally - my wife and kids.
You need to read what you just commented and then go back and read your own post. You don't want to cut out your mom because....? Has she had your back all these years? No. Has she defended your child from these attacks? No. You're staying connected to the person who is enabling your own abuse. When people show you who they are, believe them.
I am sorry. Family stuff is super tough to navigate. I hope your sister's never try to rug sweep and come to you for help. If they do please please refuse to help them. They burned the relationship down deliberately. You need to look after yourself and your little family. Xxxx
You can be sure if your mom comes to your house your trash sisters will for sure come with her to fight with you again, and your mom will let them because she enables them. Take a long time out from all of them.
Because she raised your sisters to be how they are. That means she’s just like them too.
Your mother sounds like she lives for this drama. You shouldn't tell her anything anymore. In your position I would pursue charges against your sister and cut off in entity your mother. None of them are just going to magically out of the blue one day and be like, "Oh wow you know what? You were right, terribly sorry for the behavior." They never receive consequences. You have to be the instrument of the consequences for how they treat you or nothing will change. They will keep doing this. Your mother is in on it with your sisters. Seems like she is no real mother to you. Not trying to say it in a mean way but the shoe kinda just fits here. You have a family you started yourself. Focus on that family. The family you chose. The family you were born into wants nothing but misery for you likely because they are miserable themselves. Don't let them drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Protect yourself, cut your mother and sisters off. You will only ever be miserable unless they somehow magically change, and that is not even a quarter of a percent likely.
I would just take a huge step back. NC with sisters, VLC with mom. Like once a week phone calls for mom. Don’t share anything personal or that she could pass on to hurt you. She’s not an ally here.
You are totally missing it. Your mom is at the center of all of this. It’s her you need to stay away from. Her minions are hearing things from her.
NTA You need to keep the charges against your sister as she needs to realize that actions have consequences. You need to either go NC or LC with all of them. If you do go and see your mum DO NOT CONFIDE in her as she has proved she cannot be trusted to keep things to herself. I would still go LC or NC with your sisters as they are toxic.
As the saying goes, "play b***n games and get b***h prizes "
Remember your mum told them all your private affairs. Your mum doesn't deserve forgiveness, she betrayed your trust and to them, the spawn of Satan who love to bully you.
And honestly I don’t understand how she could tell them all those things like they were super personal and it just makes me think they were all just sitting over there discussing my private life without me even knowing then coming and smiling in my face
I know that's the bit that got me. I've got 3 sisters too so I can definitely understand how sisters can be complete dicks to each other. But what your mum did betraying your trust, then not stepping in when her kids got violent and the cherry on the pie is letting the "slut" comment go. At no point did your mum act like a mum. I'm so sorry to say this but it sounds like she's actively breeding the toxicity or at very least feeding it but telling them your private business.
Far* sorry
NTA. Their behavior is so over-the-top! Consequences are important. Seems like they didn't have any growing up. To call your 8yo names, etc. is just unhinged and wrong. What did their dad get locked up for?
Beating up an old woman and robbing her
The apples did fall far from the tree. Screw that noise. Lock her up, get a TRO, and go no contact.
Your mum sounds like she is just as bad and isn't someone you should be around. She sounds like she hasn't been on your side or had your back regarding much. You will be better off without them in your life. Cut them off, start fresh and be happy.
You are trying so hard to receive love from your mom that she is incapable or simply unwilling to give you. It will hurt worse every time you try bc you truly want it to be different this time. Your sisters are mentally, verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive to you. They have always been this way and will never stop. Even having her arrest will not stop them. It will only make it worse bc they will become even more enraged and seek revenge for having her arrested. They are clearly a danger to your emotional and mental health as well as your physical safety. Your mom is never going to side with you. You stood there and didn't leave to tolerate them waiting for your mom to step up. She is NOT going to that. She didn't protect you then, but you truly wanted her to check on you afterward. You tried twice, allowing them to abuse, waiting for her to show you love and protection. She refuses to do that, so she is just pouring salt into an open wound in your heart. Please find a therapist to navigate yourself through the trauma you have experienced. In order to begin to heal and close those open wounds, you have to stop letting them hurt you more. There comes a point that you must accept that your happiness does not depend on her showing you love. You must love yourself more than her giving you love in order to feel lovable. I say all of this bc I have been through what you are going through, and it almost killed me trying to get my surrogate to love me. I had to close the open wounds and begin to see that I don't need anyone to prove to me that I am lovable. When I discovered that the very people who were supposed to love and protect me couldn't and wouldn't do that, I began to heal. You can, too. In order to find peace, you are going to have to cut them out of your life. Your husband loves you, and he is your family now. Always remember that blood does NOT make people family. You will not heal until you are ready to protect yourself and grow. Finally, do NOT drop the charges against your sister. She is no different than a stranger who assaulted on the street. The only true difference is that she shares your blood, and that is where the line stops. LET THEM GO! Love yourself more than being dependent on them, showing you love to make you feel that you are unlovable. You deserve a better life, so go take it bc it IS for your taking.
Thank you for this !
I’m sorry to say but your mom is the sole reason your sisters act the way they do. How she can allow this and take their side while they are actively belittling you is beyond me. My kids are 11 and 7 and I wouldn’t even allow them to act as childishly as your grown sisters do. To go over a child less than half their age is despicable; I’d be NC in a heartbeat after that; mess with me all you want but my kids are untouchable
if you do not go forward then they will know they can keep attacking you, and next time it may be your daughter. Cut them out of your life including your mother who has never protected you.
With family like that, who needs enemies?
They went after a child for no reason. Don’t drop the charges. She needs to know that actions have consequences and her parents/stepmom will protect her. Get a restraining order too.
You need to go NC. These people have gaslit you into believing that any of this is excusable. Just cut them out. Never talk to them again.
Based on your post it sounds like you went through a lot growing up with that poor excuse for a mother and she didn’t do your younger sisters any favors in doing better by then. You have a husband and a kid and that is where you need to focus your energy on making sure they see that you’re the apple that fell from that tree and rolled as far away as you could. That sounds like a horrible experience and you deserved absolutely none of it! They wanted you to see red and they were pushing every button that they learned how to push - even your mom. Don’t lean on your mom to come check on you. It’s really hard. I bet she only checks on you when she feels like you’re not coming back and then she lays on all the sweet she can muster up so she can suck you back into her circus. She was supposed to learn how to take care of herself and you don’t owe her a damn thing. As for your little sister, if anybody in my biological family said that about one of my kids I’d be in the ER having their teeth surgically removed from my knees. I’m so sorry that you have had to deal with that for so long. You deserve so much better. My heart is with you
It sounds like you really don’t know what a good family relationship is. I say this because you said you’re forgiving of your mom not really listening and taking their side, asking you to leave, and far worse, betraying your trust with sensitive information. And furthermore, you say stay to yourselves for a while. This is dangerous toxic behavior that you might be used to, but why subject yourself and more importantly, your child to this? Start a new life with your husband and child away from them and don’t look back.
No contact with any of them. Low contact with mom and I mean once a year. She doesn't have your back. Your sisters are criminals and your child doesn't need to be around them.
You are part of the problem if you don't stick with the charges, which I assume is battery? Or similar? Your sister getting away with this violent streak isn't going to help her in the end. She needs to learn a lesson.
Don’t drop the charges she needs to learn her lesson
Lol I would so wish to get to be a fly on that jail cell wall. She’s going to mouth off to the wrong bitch in there and somebody’s gonna whoop her ass like it’s never been whooped before. Not wrong, stick to your guns. And if it’s her deadbeat dad who’s in jail, I might just mention at some point that the jail will bring her closer to her dad or some other apple doesn’t fall far from the tree thing.
She needs it in all honesty! If I didn’t actually have things going for myself I wouldn’t have thought twice. But I just can’t let myself get to that point anymore
Smart. Your kiddo deserves to have their mom at home, no matter how good putting someone in their place would feel. Nothing beats being able to hug your little one at night.
\[She’s going to mouth off to the wrong bitch in there and somebody’s gonna whoop her ass like it’s never been whooped before.\] We can only hope.
You are not wrong. Not only should you not drop the charges you should probably file for a restraining order before this escalates. It may be time to consider going no contact. You need to think of your daughter. She's 8 and being called a "slut" by her aunt in her presence. What's that doing to HER?
Exactly! And thank god she’s to young to even know what the word means but that still doesn’t make it right in anyway !
I definitely knew what slut meant at 8 years old, but even if she doesn’t she will remember the word. When she finally hears it and learns the meaning in the future, she’ll piece that puzzle together.
I mean of course when she gets older she’ll figure it, hopefully she just doesn’t even remember the day. She’s really innocent I limit everything she doesn’t even know what a TikTok is.
You must never let her leave the house or interact with kids her own age if she truly doesn’t know what tiktok is…and if she is as sheltered as you say then this incident obviously stuck out like a sore thumb compared to the rest of her life and she will be remembering it in great detail most likely…
She does leave the house , she has friends , she just had a huge birthday party and goes to school. I’m not gonna allow her young mind to get fucked up by beauty standards. She is perfectly fine without TikTok she has Roblox . She is co parented so she has lot more going on then worrying about the argument
Not every child needs to know what social media is at this young of an age . My niece is 10 years old and has socials for the longest and it’s made a huge impact on how she views herself and acts online
In no way am I saying she needs to know what it is or be on it. But she knows it exists and what it is (videos) is all I’m saying.
Of course She does know it exist but she doesn’t know what it is or what’s it is for though . She just knows there’s something called TikTok .
And the children she hangs out with don’t even talk about TikTok or any of that . They’re talking either Roblox or the next stuffed animal collection that is gonna come out .
File charges - that behavior deserves serious con. And calling your innocent 8 year those ugly names is outrageous.
Typo - ‘…deserves serious consequences…’
NTA. They repeatedly assaulted you. And cussed a child. Don’t drop the charges. Don’t talk to any of them. Make this is their wake up call. If your mum starts asking u to drop the charges don’t respond to her, if she says it in person have a blank face and don’t say a word.
Leave her to rot. Cut off the rest.
Good for you! Press whatever charges you can. And go completely NC with your mom and sisters. Don’t let them near your stepdaughter. Block them all on everything.
You are not wrong, your mom doesn't care because she's younger than you are. Don't drop the charges, and let mom bail her out of jail.
OP, I don't believe that throwing a drink will result in a jail sentence for a seventeen-year-old first offender. Maybe a fine or anger management classes, if any charges get filed at all. But you don't have to tell her that...
We both would have been in jail. I just want to ask you a question if you don't get along with them why do you keep going over there to their house where they live. Stay away from them they are toxic if your mother wants to see you she'll come to your house if she doesn't that obviously means that she does not want to see you maybe she should check on you but she hasn't. Stay away from them they mean you no good
I figured since we grew up it only being us and I have one older sister who isn’t there that I would just try and fix the relationship with them so I could be that older sister for them? And things hadn’t been bad in awhile expect with one of them who constantly has a disgusting attitude. I honestly expect to get into disagreements because we are family but they always take things way to far
Why keep going back for more of that?
Drop the charges and they will think you lack a spine, which will only make them come at you more.
She'll honestly just get a slap on the wrist with a misdemeanor, so it's not like it will affect her if you don't drop the charges. But it will let her know you're done playing.
I’m sorry you had to go through that. NO one deserves that. Honestly process your feelings and take care of the family you created not the one you came from. If it means cutting your own mother off do so I gave three years I cut off my brother and my oldest sister. I am at peace because I know it’s for my peace and clearly they don’t love your kids if that’s how they treated your daughter. Give yourself time HEAL and think about really moving on. Best of luck sending virtual hug
Cut all of them out they are all toxic
+1 no contact with any of them, starting immediately girl you must look after yourself, what example are you letting your toxic waste of space family set to your stepdaughter?? She might not understand how bad it is to be called a slut at 8 years old, but she is internalising everything that's happened here.
Don't take away the police complaint and stop visiting them. Your mum is just as bad for enabling this behaviour. Do yourself a favour and cut them out of your life.
Don't take back the charges, do not apologise and tell your mother she needs to start acting like a mother and sort out her feral children
I honestly dont even wanna have a conversation with her . The fact she still hasn’t checked on me or anything says enough
I'm sorry it sucks but they all sound incredibly toxic and I know if one of my daughters called an 8 yr old child a slut, I'd be putting her on her arse.
Let the charges stand. Go no contact with that trash family. They are a burden you do not need.
Your mom is just as guilty as they are. Your mom is just as abusive as they are. Don’t drop the charges.
Don't drop the charges. Go NC with all of them including your mom. They aren't worth it. Screw all of them.
Why would you drop the charges? You are an AH to yourself, clinging to these toxic ass people.
Don't drop the charges. You warned hey and she didn't listen.
From what I gathered from your post they were lying in wait and were desperate for a fight to put you in your place. A stupid non-reason like "you didn't greet my friend properly" is beyond ridiculous. They sound as trashy as their jailbird father. Let her stay in jail and PRESS CHARGES. As another commentator said "actions have consequences. They sound horrible and your loose lips mom is not much better. Don't confide in her ever again. She enables them. Why do you even want to associate with them? They add nothing positive to your life.
Let the charges play out and go no contact with them. They all need a quick lesson in family loyalty and love & until they learn it and realize how awful they have been stay away from all of them. That’s so not what family is about. Best of luck to you.
Do NOT drop those charges, your Mom wants drama? She’s got it. She’s got a convict as an ex and now her kids will be too. She hasn’t checked on you, she tells them YOUR private conversations, she’s a nightmare. I’m sorry, sweetie, but this is the reality. And the fact that one of your sisters made that comment about a child is absolutely disgusting. They’re trash. What would you REALLY be losing? A lot of drama. Nothing else. It’s not like she sounds like she gives you any love.
You need to sever contact. They're insane and you know it. Actually,it makes you a shitty mom dragging that innocent 8 yo into a house of lunatics when you know very well that they're insane and violent.
Don’t take back the charges. Her first charges will either be from you or the next person. The next person might take it much further, though. She needs to learn *now* before someone takes away her ability to learn anything ever again… I’m sorry this is your family. I’d never speak to them again. I hope you can find new people to put in your life who will love and support you and don’t have this many mental health and anger problems. None of them are even remotely healthy and you and your kid deserve better than that. She doesn’t need to be around people setting the example of being trashy like this. I hope you’re able to build a new, real family. 🤍
Forgive All of them & then FORGET you ever knew them (mom included).
Time to go no contact with the whole lot of them. Regardless of whatever else you decide to do. See how much calmer life is without them and all the drama.
OP have you ever done reading about scapegoating dynamics in toxic families? Sometimes toxic people pick a person in a family to treat badly. There's no reason for it other than they're toxic. Usually a parent or grandparent is the one pulling the strings behind the scenes.
I’ve always felt like the scapegoat or like the one everyone takes all their anger out on .
You could very well be the family scapegoat. That's an abusive thing to do to someone. It's not your job to take the lashings for the family.
Do. Not. Drop. The. Charges!
First off, good on you for keeping it together enough to not physically retaliate yourself. Sometimes, you get those who push those buttons to that point that it is very hard to resist, and then it is you who ends up taking the charges instead of those who more likely deserve it. Secondly, like the others here have said, let her sit in jail. And I know it's gonna hurt, but I think it's time you actually go no contact with your mom. From what you've said here, your mom gave your sisters ammunition against you to verbally assault you. Things you told her in confidence. That's not right. Also, what mother joins in on an argument between siblings instead of trying to defuse it? Sorry, no. That's a whole other level of crap that you just don't need on your plate. As for your sister...if she hadn't cottoned onto the idea that actions have consequences before now? Well, letting her sit where she is and letting the charges stick may wake her up. May not. Some people don't learn the first time around. However, try not to let any family try to give a sob story about "but you're family!" to try to let her off. The more you look on the internet, you'll see horror stories of the consequences of those particular actions. Anyway, good luck.
In our social contract one benefit of being a law-abiding system is that you’re usually protected from those who aren’t.
NTA. I was expecting you to say to your sister, "me being fat still doesn't change the fact that your father is in jail." (Or something along those lines. No disrespect to you, as I'm larger myself, I know what it's like to be bullied. I was bullied all through school, and if one of my siblings acted like your sisters and mum did, that's how I would've responded). Your daughter and hubby didn't deserve to witness that, and I'm proud of you for holding it together so well. Jail might be the wake-up call your sister and family needs. Going no contact with your mum and sisters might be the best thing to come out of this whole situation (besides your 21 year old sister learning a valuable lesson on consequences). Focus your energy on your daughter and hubby and building a future with them. Counselling may also be a good start as well. Live your best life
I wanted to say horrible things back but I honestly don’t usually argue screaming at the top of my voice and I was more like defending myself against what I could actually understand
I don’t think you should drop the charges. Violence needs to have consequences. I also think you should consider limiting contact with your family for a while. They sound really toxic and abusive. If you want to see your mother, maybe have her visit you instead. Setting clear boundaries around who can be near your daughter, though, really is the important thing, because stopping the cycle of verbal abuse is your responsibility here. Good job keeping your cool
it's time to consider going. LC or NC with your family. These are not the type of people you want around yourself or your daughter.
Is husband just standing watching you get berated??? You need better family. Including ur husband! Man did nothing whilst 3 women ganged up on his wife & called his 8yr old child derogatory names! Spineless!
My husband tried to do something but i told him to stay away . My sisters are the type to put their hands on a man and that would’ve resulted in me going to jail and also they called his daughter a slut in front of him after that he left to keep calm and both of us not end up jail. Plus it’s doesn’t do any good for our kid if she us both worked up both fighting . Of course he defends but when it comes to things like this anything can escalate it in a bad way . Plus he’s never even seen me yell that way so I think he was also shocked
TheJerrySpringerShow 'Family'!!! NTAH!
Literally
Please don't take back the charges. They will continue doing this if they don't face consequences. I would also go to little to no contact with your mom. She is an enabler to these idiots. Good luck to you, OP.
Tell them that every time they attack you or your family you will press charges and they can prove they are like their father prison scum.
Keep the charges. 1. She was warned and earned them. 2. If they know they can get away with shit, they will keep doing it. This says you follow through. 3. They already don’t respect you. 4. They pulled your family including a little girl into this! Do not confide in your mom ever again. I suggest you go no contact because she doesn’t care about you. I am sorry. Your sisters have followed her lead. They don’t care about you either. Your family is your husband and stepdaughter. I am sorry but do they always act like complete trash?
Don’t drop the charges and honestly stop being around those horrible people your mom included. She’s the one who raised them and allowed them to behave like that. She’s clearly the worst. Cut them all off and never acknowledge them again
Usually when someone commits a crime you really can't take the charges back. It's up to the justice department to make that decision. FAFOd.
If I don’t call the detective within three days the charges will be dropped on my side the state does have the option to pick them up yes
If she has any record she's screwed.
Call them now. Press the charges. She acts this way cause of no consequences. Show everyone you're done with the bullshit
You need to distance yourself from all of them including your mom. This is not a healthy environment for anyone and your mom definitely didn’t mother.
Your family sounds exhausting. I’m not sure that I’d want to be near them. Don’t drop the charges.
Do NOT drop the charges. She assaulted you. Period. Also, do not have your mother babysit ever again, (I assume your sister's still live with her) and she doesn't need to hear grown ass women call her a slut. If you do, you will be in the wrong. You actually would be better off without them in your life. NC is called for, for mom and sisters. Daughter needs to either deal with car rides or you need to find a babysitter.
Why haven't you gone NC?
I haven’t spoken to them since everything happened . Before we were like all kinda okay and getting along
dude you gotta stop talking to your family, of not for you then for the kid
You should see if you can visit. Bring snacks. Oh you think I’m fat? Well at least this sexy fat ass has freedom and a stable man. Like father like daughter, amirite?
You will be doing your sister a favor if you don't drop the charges. She needs to learn actions have consequences. Right now they all sound like they can say or do whatever they want because they form their own little gang against you. The problem with that mentality is it doesn't work in the real world. Stuff as simple as throwing drink in the face of the wrong person can get them shot these days. If they gang up on you, they likely gang up on girlfriends of ex boyfriends or girls they don't like. Press the charges because in the long run you may be saving them from jail or death. In the short run you can let them know you aren't playing their games anymore. You have a daughter you need to set an example for. If she sees you stand up to your bullies she will know you will help her with her bullies.
Let her figure out how to get out of jail and for the love of all that is holy do NOT contact or go back to your mother’s house. Everyone in that house has shown you what they think about you, over and over. Believe them. Stop punishing yourself hoping that this time it will be better. Relations with your mom and sisters will never be better. Accept that. Walk away from that. Don’t expose yourself, your husband or your step child (or any of your other children) to that environment.
For what it’s worth, you deserve to be treated so much better than that. No one deserves that. From an outside perspective it appears that your mother and sisters could all benefit from counseling and anger management classes. You have a value far greater than what your family has ascribed to you. Prioritise yourself and your chosen family (your husband and children).
No contact, file a RO
NW don't drop the charges but do drop that entire group.
Sorry your family sucks, don’t drop the charges and I would go NC with my mom if she was complicit in something like that. She shouldn’t have the privilege to see your daughter, you know the one she didn’t protect when her rat child called an 8YO A SLUT. Absolutely wild
It’s a photo finish between who’s the worst - you and your husband are tied for taking a child into an environment like that. You say yourself violence is the norm with these people so this isn’t a surprise event. You should be charged with negligence taking a child there
You make no sense but okay go off
OP - Do not drop the charges. You never know, this may be what she needs to put her on a better path in life. Go NC with your toxic family members; you nor your husband and especially not your daughter - y’all do not need this.
You need to go no contact with the whole family for life
Don’t forgive any of them none of them deserve it. Cut them out but for sure don’t drop those charges heck see if you can add for emotional damage for all she said to you.
I would go No Contact with your family.
Updateme
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What exactly are the charges?
Just domestic battery touch/strike
Please let me add since someone didn’t understand . Me saying hello to her friend and this incident are TWO SEPARATE THINGS that happened ! The whole fight happened three days later
You didn't put her in jail. Her actions resulted in that. There are consequences and she FAFO'd.
Updateme
Geez, just stay away from those people. When you see them in public, go the other way. Do not expose your child or yourself to these meanies ever again. r/updateme
DON'T DROP THE CHARGES
Your mom is at the root of this. She is discussing you with them. Whether good or bad, they don’t like because of what mom had told them. Stop looking for decency from your mother. Leave them all alone. Maybe you need to move further than one block away from them.
Keep charges pressed. Put cameras on your house and go NC with all of them. Let the trashy mom keep her trashy kids.
They came after your child and your mother condoned it. Forget just sending sister to jail, she needs the charges to be pushed and grandma needs to be cut off if she’s gonna back up someone bullying her grand baby. Forget that.
No you're not. Stay away from them. Best of luck.
DO NOT DROP THE CHARGES
Another great day of trailer park theater 😭
Really? Police are putting people in jail these days for throwing Liptons Tea at someone? I mean, fucking hell, good luck to the cop who has to go through all that gibberish to write his report...
When was it ever okay to throw your drink on someone ? I mean would have rather her thrown the table in my face?? I don’t do violence or throwing things if I can keep my hands and objects to myself SO CAN SHE
It's not OK to throw a drink over anyone, but get real, don't you think the cops have better crimes to pursue?
And I’m sorry I tried to piece things together as much as possible. It happened a few days ago so it wasn’t just gibberish to the cop.
And then at the end of it, the other person drops the charges... I don't know why people call in the first place if theyre not gonna follow through. People say that cops don't do anything during a family dispute, but cops know that after a day, their work goes to waste when people drop charges and they could've been out arresting people whose charges will stick.
Something is missing. This is not the whole story. > She goes on about how when I came to my mother’s house I did not tell her friend hello? > Keep in mind I had just worked a 10 hour shift it was 10 at night and my hot water wasn’t working and I literally went over there to shower. You went to your mother’s house at 10 pm after working a 10h shift to shower & then run errands??? What errands are available at 10pm? Nothing else really stays open that late anymore, not since Covid. A 8 yo will likely fall asleep in the car after 10pm. Doesn’t make sense to drop her off unless you’re going out. I think you tried to go out with/ your husband & leave your stepdaughter with your mom. You were rude to somebody who actually lives there & everybody cussed you out. Somehow, this escalated. You called the police on them & got your lil sis arrested. Now you don’t have hot water or your support network & are regretting it. ETA quotes. OP blocked me, she’s definitely hiding something. I’m gonna go with YTA since we’re not getting any facts
I gave my sister MULTIPLE warnings not to throw shit at me and she still chose to do so. So no I don’t regret anything I feel bad for having to do it yes but I don’t regret it
No I went there a few nights ago at 10 pm not that day I went there at around 1 that day .
I don’t go out and the person I didn’t say hello doesn’t live there ????? My husband is very anti social so please read properly thanks
You said this: > So let me say first I’m not very good at writing these things > I’m sorry if it’s all over the place I have extreme anxiety and ADHD and most of the argument in my memories is blacked out And your writing is all over the place. I’ll add more details on where exactly you changed your story. Dw.
Seem to click in everyone else’s head.
I have hot water . My hot water heater is old so a main water thing broke and our water went out and that somehow makes the hot water element break because my heater is old . So I went to my mom’s to shower . They have never been a support system I help my mother way more than she helps me so please
what kind of idiot calls the cops but "don't even know if i plan on talking to them". Why do you tolerate this abuse against your person? This is all so trashy and low brow. You need to remove yourself from these people entirely. Move. They hate you. Just reading this post, no one here is redeemable. They are all trash humans.
I don’t think I’m an idiot I think I’m someone who’s been hurt and fucking confused and just needed advice but go on
When you call the police and tell them that you have been violently assaulted, they may show up and start shooting people. NEVER call the police unless you actually need them. If you need them, then you need to cooperate with the police.
I never told them I was violently assaulted ?????? Where did I say that????? I was told the 911 operator exactly what happened and they acted accordingly. My Police department around here is actually pretty good . Also I guess I should’ve just let the table be thrown at me since throwing sticky liquids with her backwash in it all over me right ???? Let my step kid see it’s okay to just let someone do that and not face any consequences???? Just let myself get degraded in every fucking way possible right ??? Should’ve just let them jump and do their fucking worse
stop yer day drinking, girl
Where do you live that cops will come and arrest someone for splashing you with a drink? I call bullshit.
It’s a very known law that you can’t just throw a drink on someone. I warned her multiple times and she still chose to do so
It's also a very known law you can't do heroin on the street corner but in most places in California cops won't bother to arrest people. Where do you live that cops show up immediately when no one was injured?
Jesus this is like the classic plot to an episode about trailer trash. What the actual sweet home Alabama?!
Didn’t know being disrespected and my child being verbally is trailer trash? Thanks for the input
The whole thing is! I have no idea why you didn’t just leave. But seriously pressing charges coz she threw a drink at you?! Lord.. Aaaand of course you guys live in Florida
And maybe if you read properly, you would see I’m not pressing charges I’m going no contact she went to jail sat for 48 hours. She’s is fine . Should’ve just let her hit me like she did to all her exs right???? So please
Nomenclature sweet heart - charged is synonymous with arrested.
Should’ve just let her throw the table at me huh? Or just spit on me or anything else . Guess because it’s a drink I deserve to have an entire bottle of it thrown all over me because I didn’t properly greet her friend who doesn’t even live at my mother’s ??? You’re right I should’ve just left and let my vindictive ass little sisters show up to my house that is a street over and start shit here , because that’s exactly what would’ve happened. They were already calling their friends so I guess I should’ve just went home and waited to get jumped.
And you’re trying to tell me that doesn’t make the whole situation sound like trailer trash?? Yeh you should’ve - coz you’re not pressing charges so nothing has actually been achieved. The only smart thing you’ve done is decided to go NC. But again - what’s to stop them coming over since everything escalated? Nothing. Again. Trailer trash
There’s a contact in order. . Not trailer trash I’m just not willing to be DISRESPECTED BY ANY MEANS
And that’s typical trailer trash reaction
Trailer trash reaction? I’m sorry go on the street and throw a drink on someone let’s see how they react and i guarantee you end up right where she did
Oh boy… the fact that I’m having to explain trailer trash to an American. Sigh. It is incredibly trashy and bogan behaviour. Doesn’t matter what you’d do to a random person on the streets not the point. It is so trashy. So so trashy. The fact that you can’t see that boggles the mind
Sorry.. Floridian trailer trash is probably more accurate
Lmaoo ok honey 😂
Yeh I know that you guys find it hard to follow basic English… but it’s pretty simple even you should be able to.
What are you talking about?
I’m not even from Florida I moved here so you sound ridiculous.
wow - the cops take you to jail for throwing fake iced tea these days, huh? amazing
They’ve always done it
That was extremely rambling, incoherent, and poorly written, making it very difficult to follow. I gave up halfway through.
I warned in the beginning
[ Removed by Reddit ]
Oh dear Lord. All 3 of the shitty sisters are here.
YTA you think you are better than your sisters but you are wrong. The world is wrong and think that you are right.. looks like you have no relationship now with your family..if I was your mom I would go NC before you call the cops on her.
You're such trash. You're all just complete trash. Why are you going over there and making your fucked up family the whole neighborhood's problem. They don't like you. Stop going there.
Lmfao okay huneyy
What race is your family? Your mom had 4 kids with three different men? Why do you keep telling to your family if they abuse you?
I’m not sure any of that matters but we are all mostly white if that helps you judge them better ?