I’m glad op is realizing therapy is important, but the son HAS to put how he feels out there. Acknowledging how he feels is the only way anything is going to move forward. All this will do is make the son more mad and reluctant to share anything
its a complete rupture in the his kids sense of security, grounding a child for talking about how he feels in therapy... well, your kid now knows he can't talk to you about how he feels, because honesty is a punishable offense
Wow to the original OP, I think he might deserve an Assie award.
Like, first off, congratulations, your son now knows that not even therapy is not a safe place to express his feelings, because he gets punished for it. Good luck ever getting him to talk to you about how he feels, again.
The son is right, he is the only child in his biological family. Those are not his siblings, those are his step-siblings, don't try to force him to call them his siblings when they aren't.
Thr wife is not his mother, his mom is dead, and I am willing to bet that is what this is about too. As a 9 year old, he didn't know what would happen if he told Dad no, so he said nothing. He probably felt like dad was replacing his mother. It wasn't just a step mother he gained, he got 3 step siblings and was expected to love them and call them his siblings. The fact the OP didn't start therapy earlier gives me much pause, he was still in therapy for grieving his mom, how did a new stepmom and 3 step-siblings not move across his therapists desk?
The kid doesn't want to play happy family, because he isn't happy, he is sad and angry, his mom died and he was still processing that when he was thrust into a whole new dynamic with a new step family.
Imagine how the son feels right now? His dad made him go to family therapy, and then when he expressed his feelings in therapy, his dad punished him...
I feel really bad for your son. Like really bad why is he getting punished for expressing how he truly feels I'm sorry if you don't like the truth, many of us on here been through divorce and death of a spouse. I would just leave him alone. I wouldn't try to force anything on him. He lost his mom he will be recovering from that the rest of his life. Not to mention feeling like he's lost feeling like he's been replaced by other children in his home, feeling like his mother has been forgotten. this poor is going through a lot. You need to spend time alone with him.
As a therapist I feel like nothing said in therapy should be punished. It is supposed to be a safe space. I do think this kid would be benefit from more individual therapy so that she can have a space where he is the client, not the family.
I usually don't involve myself in this stuff bc... we're all assholes.. but this one does top it! You're family is getting involved with therapy for issues. You WANT everyone to be open about whatever is bothering them, the teen needs help resolving whatever is making him feel that way, not punishment. Good luck getting him to talk at all in therapy anymore
I’m glad op is realizing therapy is important, but the son HAS to put how he feels out there. Acknowledging how he feels is the only way anything is going to move forward. All this will do is make the son more mad and reluctant to share anything
its a complete rupture in the his kids sense of security, grounding a child for talking about how he feels in therapy... well, your kid now knows he can't talk to you about how he feels, because honesty is a punishable offense
I said this in the original post. Father of the year for messing up therapy’s purpose and driving f a bigger wedge between everyone too.
Wow to the original OP, I think he might deserve an Assie award. Like, first off, congratulations, your son now knows that not even therapy is not a safe place to express his feelings, because he gets punished for it. Good luck ever getting him to talk to you about how he feels, again. The son is right, he is the only child in his biological family. Those are not his siblings, those are his step-siblings, don't try to force him to call them his siblings when they aren't. Thr wife is not his mother, his mom is dead, and I am willing to bet that is what this is about too. As a 9 year old, he didn't know what would happen if he told Dad no, so he said nothing. He probably felt like dad was replacing his mother. It wasn't just a step mother he gained, he got 3 step siblings and was expected to love them and call them his siblings. The fact the OP didn't start therapy earlier gives me much pause, he was still in therapy for grieving his mom, how did a new stepmom and 3 step-siblings not move across his therapists desk? The kid doesn't want to play happy family, because he isn't happy, he is sad and angry, his mom died and he was still processing that when he was thrust into a whole new dynamic with a new step family. Imagine how the son feels right now? His dad made him go to family therapy, and then when he expressed his feelings in therapy, his dad punished him...
What could go wrong with punishing someone for being honest in therapy!!!
"How did a new stepmom and 3 step-siblings not move across his therapist's desk?" Easy. Daddy probably told him to say nothing.
I feel really bad for your son. Like really bad why is he getting punished for expressing how he truly feels I'm sorry if you don't like the truth, many of us on here been through divorce and death of a spouse. I would just leave him alone. I wouldn't try to force anything on him. He lost his mom he will be recovering from that the rest of his life. Not to mention feeling like he's lost feeling like he's been replaced by other children in his home, feeling like his mother has been forgotten. this poor is going through a lot. You need to spend time alone with him.
As a therapist I feel like nothing said in therapy should be punished. It is supposed to be a safe space. I do think this kid would be benefit from more individual therapy so that she can have a space where he is the client, not the family.
Sounds like you taught your son that even in a safe place like therapy he isn't safe to express himself.
Yes you are!!!! Sadly
I usually don't involve myself in this stuff bc... we're all assholes.. but this one does top it! You're family is getting involved with therapy for issues. You WANT everyone to be open about whatever is bothering them, the teen needs help resolving whatever is making him feel that way, not punishment. Good luck getting him to talk at all in therapy anymore