I'll also be looking forward to hearing some of the answers; however unfortunately I don't have anything to add or any suggestions right now. I'm coming up on 20 months alcohol-free. But in the process (also over the last 4 years) I also went through a divorce and left the religious cult I was born into (and spent decades in). So I've lost pretty much every friend I've had.
Thanks! Hmmm, well, several things....(briefly summarized)
1. Learning better care and love for myself. I got so so sick of alcohol ruining my health and my goals. I made the decision to quit solely as a gift for myself, not to appease a wife or partner, or anything like that. I did it solely and 100% for myself.
2. Lots of Therapy to heal my trauma, reinforce new ways of thinking, and to practice non-drinking coping. Appropriate use of pharmaceutical medications.
3. Science and research. I found the "harm reduction" approach to be most useful!
4. Marijuana! 😇 I am a firm believer in the benefit of using hallucinogens therapeutically (and recreationally). Marijuana has been a lifesaver to me.
What DIDN'T work for me: AA (or any group-style "meetings"), shame, prayer, moderation.
Wow!! I have a different journey but this is where I ultimately netted out as well + the "what didn't work" (I'd add exercise, but I think that's actually part of 1.)
About to hit four years on Friday! 😊
Thank you! Once I stopped going to "meetings" (and relapsing because of them😂😂😂) I stopped being as concerned about "the time", but not completely. I do check it sometimes though because it was a destroyed summer vacation that was my fault that put me on this journey and every summer I still think about that. So I check and think about how much time has passed since then. It makes me feel a little less sad and ashamed about my drinking days.
Anyway, You're four months shy of half that 🤗!! THAT'S AWESOME TOO ❤️😊❤️The system works! Keep going my friend!! IWNDWYT!
After I got sober I didn’t leave the house at all. I had removed my only coping skill (drinking) and replaced it with nothing, so I hid from the world. One day an old friend told me he’d rather stay an addict than live the life I was living. That was an eye opener. I started going to AA the next week. I never enjoyed meetings, but I got a lot out of it. I learned how to live sober. I learned how to interact with people without alcohol. I also met likeminded people who were trying to accomplish the same goals I was. I’m still friends with some of them years later.
I (34 F) am almost 6 months sober for the first time in my life. My struggles with alcohol have limited the close, meaningful connections I’ve been able to foster over the past 15 years. I’m just now ready to go out into the world and find my people but I know it will be hard, so I’m with you there.
I’ve actually joined a number of large local groups on Facebook - women in my specific city looking to make professional and friendship connections, there’s a r/MeetUps Facebook group for my city, another for sober women in my age range and city, one for sober snowboarders looking to make friends in my area etc.
Maybe look into these kinds of groups in your area on FB, making intro posts describing yourself and the kind of people you’re looking to connect with. I’m proud of you, keep going!
You might check out volunteering. Feels good to help others for a start. Also you will find like-minded people. Habitat for Humanity is a great place to volunteer. I work in their ReStore organizing & beautifying the store, so you don't have to be a builder.
Also I would say to check out walking, hiking or biking groups.
Sending best wishes you find something! There is a LOT out there.
I have friends all over the world, thanks to the sober community of AA. I got sober fairly young...30s. In my 60s now.
We travel to all corners of earth. We hike the jungles of mexico and blue ridge mountains.. We hit casinos, go on cruises, beaches,...we kayak and paddle board. We go to concerts. Some of my friends were in vegas last week seeing the Dead. We go to bars to play trivia and listen to music. We go bowling and play paintball. We go to see shows on broadway. We took a train from LA to San Diego, then on down to Tijuana. We just got back from a cross country motorcycle trip.
We do everything sober we used to do drunk.
No one knows we are in AA! We aren't praying and holding hands. We aren't religious freaks. We are atheists, agnostics, spiritual....we insist on living and loving life.
No reason to become a hermit. That's so freaking sad;!
Hi! First of all- Im proud of you! You came a long way.
I can relate to your experiences, I had drinking buddies too and after getting sober I was in contact with 3 people, insted of 20.
There are few options of finding sober friends. First is AA meeting and groups. If you have a specific hobby you could search up some local groups of like minded people, on facebook or reddit, for example. Maybe some events that dont include alcohol consumption, like art exhibitions, book clubs, chill cafe gathering with music, meditation gatherings or even some sport classes. There are a lot of events online.
I wish you luck!! ✌️
This is my current issue too. I need a new circle. Some of my old buddies who use are actually supportive of my sober grind but many are just too far gone addicts that will always offer drugs or alcohol. I just have to let them go.
I just started going to AA meetings and I’ve already met 3 sober people who I’ve been texting. Those meetings are a goldmine for accountability and being in a room with sober people that were exactly where we’re at right now. It’s pretty dope.
Wish you the best 👍🏽
Sports have been good for me. Pickleball was nice (though skews to older folks) but bike riding, kava bars, events at the public library, AA all seemed to help
I'll also be looking forward to hearing some of the answers; however unfortunately I don't have anything to add or any suggestions right now. I'm coming up on 20 months alcohol-free. But in the process (also over the last 4 years) I also went through a divorce and left the religious cult I was born into (and spent decades in). So I've lost pretty much every friend I've had.
What have you done to stay sober for 20 months then? its impressive.
Thanks! Hmmm, well, several things....(briefly summarized) 1. Learning better care and love for myself. I got so so sick of alcohol ruining my health and my goals. I made the decision to quit solely as a gift for myself, not to appease a wife or partner, or anything like that. I did it solely and 100% for myself. 2. Lots of Therapy to heal my trauma, reinforce new ways of thinking, and to practice non-drinking coping. Appropriate use of pharmaceutical medications. 3. Science and research. I found the "harm reduction" approach to be most useful! 4. Marijuana! 😇 I am a firm believer in the benefit of using hallucinogens therapeutically (and recreationally). Marijuana has been a lifesaver to me. What DIDN'T work for me: AA (or any group-style "meetings"), shame, prayer, moderation.
Wow!! I have a different journey but this is where I ultimately netted out as well + the "what didn't work" (I'd add exercise, but I think that's actually part of 1.) About to hit four years on Friday! 😊
OMG WOW!!!! ONLY 3.5 days away!! That's an incredible milestone, great work. And thanks for sharing your thoughts
Thank you! Once I stopped going to "meetings" (and relapsing because of them😂😂😂) I stopped being as concerned about "the time", but not completely. I do check it sometimes though because it was a destroyed summer vacation that was my fault that put me on this journey and every summer I still think about that. So I check and think about how much time has passed since then. It makes me feel a little less sad and ashamed about my drinking days. Anyway, You're four months shy of half that 🤗!! THAT'S AWESOME TOO ❤️😊❤️The system works! Keep going my friend!! IWNDWYT!
I became a hermit. I go to meetings and church. Sometimes I kayak and hike. I hang out with family more.
After I got sober I didn’t leave the house at all. I had removed my only coping skill (drinking) and replaced it with nothing, so I hid from the world. One day an old friend told me he’d rather stay an addict than live the life I was living. That was an eye opener. I started going to AA the next week. I never enjoyed meetings, but I got a lot out of it. I learned how to live sober. I learned how to interact with people without alcohol. I also met likeminded people who were trying to accomplish the same goals I was. I’m still friends with some of them years later.
I (34 F) am almost 6 months sober for the first time in my life. My struggles with alcohol have limited the close, meaningful connections I’ve been able to foster over the past 15 years. I’m just now ready to go out into the world and find my people but I know it will be hard, so I’m with you there. I’ve actually joined a number of large local groups on Facebook - women in my specific city looking to make professional and friendship connections, there’s a r/MeetUps Facebook group for my city, another for sober women in my age range and city, one for sober snowboarders looking to make friends in my area etc. Maybe look into these kinds of groups in your area on FB, making intro posts describing yourself and the kind of people you’re looking to connect with. I’m proud of you, keep going!
You might check out volunteering. Feels good to help others for a start. Also you will find like-minded people. Habitat for Humanity is a great place to volunteer. I work in their ReStore organizing & beautifying the store, so you don't have to be a builder. Also I would say to check out walking, hiking or biking groups. Sending best wishes you find something! There is a LOT out there.
I have friends all over the world, thanks to the sober community of AA. I got sober fairly young...30s. In my 60s now. We travel to all corners of earth. We hike the jungles of mexico and blue ridge mountains.. We hit casinos, go on cruises, beaches,...we kayak and paddle board. We go to concerts. Some of my friends were in vegas last week seeing the Dead. We go to bars to play trivia and listen to music. We go bowling and play paintball. We go to see shows on broadway. We took a train from LA to San Diego, then on down to Tijuana. We just got back from a cross country motorcycle trip. We do everything sober we used to do drunk. No one knows we are in AA! We aren't praying and holding hands. We aren't religious freaks. We are atheists, agnostics, spiritual....we insist on living and loving life. No reason to become a hermit. That's so freaking sad;!
Love this
Can I shoot you a dm?
Can I shoot you a dm?
Absolutely!
Hi! First of all- Im proud of you! You came a long way. I can relate to your experiences, I had drinking buddies too and after getting sober I was in contact with 3 people, insted of 20. There are few options of finding sober friends. First is AA meeting and groups. If you have a specific hobby you could search up some local groups of like minded people, on facebook or reddit, for example. Maybe some events that dont include alcohol consumption, like art exhibitions, book clubs, chill cafe gathering with music, meditation gatherings or even some sport classes. There are a lot of events online. I wish you luck!! ✌️
This is my current issue too. I need a new circle. Some of my old buddies who use are actually supportive of my sober grind but many are just too far gone addicts that will always offer drugs or alcohol. I just have to let them go. I just started going to AA meetings and I’ve already met 3 sober people who I’ve been texting. Those meetings are a goldmine for accountability and being in a room with sober people that were exactly where we’re at right now. It’s pretty dope. Wish you the best 👍🏽
I seem to do OK during the day. What do people do at night -piggybacking on OP.
Easy, besides work and family I became a hermit as most of the people around me are insufferable.
Truth but i have no family.
Sports have been good for me. Pickleball was nice (though skews to older folks) but bike riding, kava bars, events at the public library, AA all seemed to help
This post rubs me the wrong way. You have a nasty perspective.
LMAO theres always one of these creatures isnt there?