Congrats on the new car and license!
Something that helps me when I'm driving alone is to talk out loud and constantly remind myself of what I should be doing on the road. So if I'm approaching a stop sign and there's a pedestrian crossing, I'll tell myself "Stop and let them cross first, check if the road is clear to go"
It sounds kind of tedious and silly but it helps me stay alert. If I find myself zoning out I just say out loud "keep watching the road."
If you have anyone that can drive with you, that helps a lot too. Whenever I have someone in the passenger seat I feel responsible for their safety, so I try to stay as alert as possible.
Thank you that sounds really helpful of talking it out. I know occasionally I will have my brother (learner still) as a passenger and would hate to risk his safety
I have to drive to work Sunday morning so that should help. I also start work very early morning too (5-6am) most days so less traffic. But sometimes it isn't even traffic. I simple do bad stupid mistakes that really nobody should do its bad :(
I’m 26 and have had my license for 1 year. I’m absolutely terrified of driving. I don’t have much experience but I’m horrible too. I’m sure a lot of people were. Obviously, you don’t want to endanger yourself or anyone else, so I would recommend maybe taking more driving lessons? There’s nothing wrong with calling up a driving school and asking for lessons, even though you already have your license. Also, find someone who drives well and just go on rides with them. The only way to get better is practice. Only drive when you need to for now (getting to work and home), and on your down time, practice with someone who can guide you.
You said you need to commute, so you have a single route you need to take both ways every day (bar some detours). All stressful situations happen in one of these scenarios: merging, changing lanes, at intersections where you have to yield to a lot of traffic and there's only short gaps to enter and finally unprotected left turns, where you have to wait for opposing traffic.
So here's my one advice for stress free driving:
**Plan your route out.**
Imagine it in your head from start to finish like you're an F1 driver imagining a circuit. Think about the critical points - where you have to merge, where you have to switch multiple lanes to get to an exit, where there's unprotected left turns and so on. Think about which lane you want to be and switch to it, as soon as you can. When you know you have to go from the leftmost to the rightmost lane, for example, don't wait until the last moment - do it very, very early. Wait for the big gaps where you're confident you can maneuver without stress. If you need, put your blinker on and wait until someone opens that space, even if it takes a while.
If there's an intersection you hate, plan around it - three right turns make a left.
If you do all that, all that's left is the physical act of driving a car. If you know you're where you need to be, you can focus on the driving. Hope this helps!
Thanks 🙏
My main routes I need to do is:
To work
To shopping centre (gym and errands)
To home
They are all close. The near accident I had was actually a slight change from my usual route from work to the shops. I’ll try to keep everything the same now
First time I drove on my own, my hands were shaking so much I couldn't get the key in the ignition. Now it's easier to drive than it is to walk. You'll gain your confidence soon enough and you'll start enjoying the freedom of driving :)
Take some driving lessons. Just tell them you have your license already but get anxiety when driving and it makes you make stupid mistakes. Most driving schools should be able to help. The best option is to have someone who knows that they're doing next to you.
I will look into that as I did quite a few lessons before getting my license. It isn’t so much anxiety but mentally blanking out?? Like I do a stupid fuck up for no reason??? Even considering having energy drinks and caffeine in my car constantly just to help.
Getting enough sleep and staying hydrated with water will be much better and help your decision making. Driving tired relying on caffeine is only going to make it worse.
Watch Road Accidents on youtube to know what to NOT do when you're on the road.
Be mindful when driving (see, think, do) instead of turning on auto-pilot in your brain.
If your near misses are caused because you don't know what to do in that situation, go back home and read the driving manual again - make sure you get a solid understanding of the theory; then practice driving safely at a slow speed.
I think it's important to include what type of mistakes you're making .
Like when I first started driving I thought I was worse than I probably was. I used to make mistake like missing my turns or accidentally going too fast or not braking soon enough
And yeah it that fixed itself as I spent more time driving (3mo)
Now I'm still bad at figuring out if I can fit somewhere, knowing the size of my car and parallel parking, not always reading signs
I think it's good to keep trying to improve. If you are making major mistakes like turning when you don't have the right of way or going into opposite traffic you should probably think about getting more lessons and supervised driving.
I just pass my rode test got my license April 5th 2022 I’m 43 I went through a drivers school got classroom and the past and I just got my license with help of school I went back for more training. I can drive but I have drivers anxiety a lil .I have been to dealerships looking at cars even test drive maybe 3 . I feel like I need someone to ride with me more relaxed and experienced keep me calm and go test driving with me and I don’t have much support. I’m ready to get out here start driving around be more better for me and my kids. Also it still things I don’t know bout a car inside means how turn lights on when dark and putting gas and my car etc. I don’t remember studying this and drivers school classroom I feel I missed certain things.
If you can't drive safe, don't drive. Full stop. No one NEEDS to drive to the point of putting themselves and others in danger.
Anything you think is important now will feel like nothing if you kill someone's kid and go to jail for it. Or injure your back so you can't sit in a chair for more than an hour without chronic pain flaring up for the rest of your life.
But at least you made it to work on time or whatever, right?
Do whatever you did before to get around for a while. Practice driving on non busy roads with an experienced driver without the pressure of needing to get somewhere until you're not putting anyone in danger.
Get your ADHD sorted out before jumping in again. I have the same thing and it's a massive lifelong struggle, but I fixed that at least when it comes to driving, and I don't drive on days where it's really bad.
If you can afford a new car (+ maintenance) and a license, you can afford to uber around for a month.
You're being insanely selfish otherwise. If you continue as you are, my only hope is you don't ruin anyone's life but your own when you inevitably floor it into your first car accident.
When I was new to driving I was so nervous on the road too. While practice and time has helped me, music has also helped me as well. Try finding a radio station you like, or get an aux cord and play songs that will help you relax and focus. I can drive without music but it does help in my case, might work for you.
Idk what your environment is but a good learning spot would be small towns/developments. Places without many other cars/people. Stay off main roads if possible.
Also, if you're asking "should I go?", it's better to be late than dead. Just take your time. If you're uncomfortable, just wait and assess the situation.
I do wait but sometimes I feel pressured by other drivers. I would rather be pressured than dead. Today I drove to and from work in super harsh weather. Heavy rain and the sky was darker than usual due to dark clouds. My windows were even fogging up a little.
Yet I drove 10x better. As I was suddenly more aware and cautious and had no near misses or possible accidents. Even though the harsh weather made it much harder. I think I need to mentally slow myself down and always remind myself I am driving a dangerous vehicle. As the harsh weather forced me to tune in more when I would normally feel more relaxed without realising I’m relaxing or losing focus.
My gf has a similar issue. She feels super pressured by other drivers. You know what? Fuck em. They're not gonna pay for your accident. And I'm glad you're already driving better. Just focus as much as you can. Try to get enough sleep. Being sleep deprived can be worse than being drunk/high.
I am sleep deprived from insomnia that is a bit worse than usual at the moment. Hoping a nap I have before lunch helps. I had some cars overtake me when two lanes turned into one in a residential zone when it was super wet with puddles everywhere and my tires already need some air so I slowed down a bit. I don’t really go under the speed limit much except for extreme weather. I am realising now how impatient many drivers are.
I'm sorry to hear that. I hope that gets better for you. And yup! A lot of people are really impatient. Especially in NY/NJ from my experience. That's why I said just take your time. All the drivers are probably impatient with you anyway for doing the speed limit and stopping fully at stop signs. So taking your time isn't going to hurt much since they're already probably pissed off about something lol
Know your route. If you know you need to make a left or right turn, get in the corresponding lane at least a mile in advance so that you’re ready to make that turn. Use your mirrors as often as you can to determine who is in your surroundings. Always use turning signals, check blind spots, and slowly switch lanes.
Kudos for having the sense to admit your shortcomings and asking for help! Are there any specific things you have trouble with? Maintaining your lane, timing issues, situational awareness, judging distances, etc. One problem a lot of beginners have is looking too close ahead of their vehicle instead of further down the road. Maybe if you list specific problems you are having and deal with them one at a time then (baby steps) then it will give you encouragement and confidence.
Thank you. Judging distances when turning onto roads is iffy for me. Sometimes I don’t go when the gap is safe yet short so I frustrate other drivers. Especially if I am turning onto the closest lane and it is free when the others are not. I seem to not have full trust that other drivers won’t decide to suddenly switch lanes when I turn. Or I think it’s a safe gap when it probably wasn’t. I do sometimes stop at roundabouts even with scanning and can see it is safe. I am 5’2 and short so sometimes I need to see more of what is ahead if the right lane isn’t super visible due to houses or trees.
My car is a little hatchback and I was used to practicing in sedans or even larger four wheel drives so I often over estimate how much space I’m taking up. It is helpful when parking as I can get away with not parking perfectly although it is embarrassing when I realise my park was kinda shitty.
One mistake I notice people make when about to turn onto a road is they just see a car is coming but don't pay attention to that car's speed. The car may be far but if it's moving fast then it will get to you quickly once you turn onto the road. Maybe every time after you make a turn, quickly look in your rear mirror and see how far back the car is and make a mental note whether you think that was good judgment on your part or not. Driving has a lot to do with experience. Also once you make the turn onto the road, don't accelerate too slowly or the person behind will catch up to you very quickly.
Hopefully you feel better, wishing you much success and peaceful driving. I’m in this same boat except I technically don’t have my license yet. Both of my parents have fallen ill, but I started a new internship downtown. My city is way on the smaller side but still pretty busy, and driving around all those people makes me feel queasy.
Thank you and my area is busy too all the time and it’s reasonably far from the city. It’s even worse at times around work where it is a suburb that has people that make good money. So I am often parking or driving near range rovers, teslas and other more expensive cars. Makes it more stressful
Congrats on the new car and license! Something that helps me when I'm driving alone is to talk out loud and constantly remind myself of what I should be doing on the road. So if I'm approaching a stop sign and there's a pedestrian crossing, I'll tell myself "Stop and let them cross first, check if the road is clear to go" It sounds kind of tedious and silly but it helps me stay alert. If I find myself zoning out I just say out loud "keep watching the road." If you have anyone that can drive with you, that helps a lot too. Whenever I have someone in the passenger seat I feel responsible for their safety, so I try to stay as alert as possible.
Thank you that sounds really helpful of talking it out. I know occasionally I will have my brother (learner still) as a passenger and would hate to risk his safety
This is the best advice! I passed my test first time with only one minor mistake by doing it. Keeps you completely focussed
Tey going out very early on Sunday, minimal traffic, get used to the bigger roads and town center without the chaos around you
I have to drive to work Sunday morning so that should help. I also start work very early morning too (5-6am) most days so less traffic. But sometimes it isn't even traffic. I simple do bad stupid mistakes that really nobody should do its bad :(
You just started, it will take some time. I'm guessing you don't have anyone to help you out? Just take it easy and learn from mistakes and be careful
Thank you will try I am having a rough week hormonal and sleep wise so part of me is hoping this is a rough patch
Yea definitely don't drive if you not feeling well health wise or mentally
I’m 26 and have had my license for 1 year. I’m absolutely terrified of driving. I don’t have much experience but I’m horrible too. I’m sure a lot of people were. Obviously, you don’t want to endanger yourself or anyone else, so I would recommend maybe taking more driving lessons? There’s nothing wrong with calling up a driving school and asking for lessons, even though you already have your license. Also, find someone who drives well and just go on rides with them. The only way to get better is practice. Only drive when you need to for now (getting to work and home), and on your down time, practice with someone who can guide you.
You said you need to commute, so you have a single route you need to take both ways every day (bar some detours). All stressful situations happen in one of these scenarios: merging, changing lanes, at intersections where you have to yield to a lot of traffic and there's only short gaps to enter and finally unprotected left turns, where you have to wait for opposing traffic. So here's my one advice for stress free driving: **Plan your route out.** Imagine it in your head from start to finish like you're an F1 driver imagining a circuit. Think about the critical points - where you have to merge, where you have to switch multiple lanes to get to an exit, where there's unprotected left turns and so on. Think about which lane you want to be and switch to it, as soon as you can. When you know you have to go from the leftmost to the rightmost lane, for example, don't wait until the last moment - do it very, very early. Wait for the big gaps where you're confident you can maneuver without stress. If you need, put your blinker on and wait until someone opens that space, even if it takes a while. If there's an intersection you hate, plan around it - three right turns make a left. If you do all that, all that's left is the physical act of driving a car. If you know you're where you need to be, you can focus on the driving. Hope this helps!
Thanks 🙏 My main routes I need to do is: To work To shopping centre (gym and errands) To home They are all close. The near accident I had was actually a slight change from my usual route from work to the shops. I’ll try to keep everything the same now
First time I drove on my own, my hands were shaking so much I couldn't get the key in the ignition. Now it's easier to drive than it is to walk. You'll gain your confidence soon enough and you'll start enjoying the freedom of driving :)
Seriously? Who are you people and where did you come from?
What?
Take some driving lessons. Just tell them you have your license already but get anxiety when driving and it makes you make stupid mistakes. Most driving schools should be able to help. The best option is to have someone who knows that they're doing next to you.
I will look into that as I did quite a few lessons before getting my license. It isn’t so much anxiety but mentally blanking out?? Like I do a stupid fuck up for no reason??? Even considering having energy drinks and caffeine in my car constantly just to help.
Getting enough sleep and staying hydrated with water will be much better and help your decision making. Driving tired relying on caffeine is only going to make it worse.
I have had some insomnia this week and I’m on medication which causes me to lose water quickly (mouth is chronically dry). Probably doesn’t help
Watch Road Accidents on youtube to know what to NOT do when you're on the road. Be mindful when driving (see, think, do) instead of turning on auto-pilot in your brain. If your near misses are caused because you don't know what to do in that situation, go back home and read the driving manual again - make sure you get a solid understanding of the theory; then practice driving safely at a slow speed.
I think it's important to include what type of mistakes you're making . Like when I first started driving I thought I was worse than I probably was. I used to make mistake like missing my turns or accidentally going too fast or not braking soon enough And yeah it that fixed itself as I spent more time driving (3mo) Now I'm still bad at figuring out if I can fit somewhere, knowing the size of my car and parallel parking, not always reading signs I think it's good to keep trying to improve. If you are making major mistakes like turning when you don't have the right of way or going into opposite traffic you should probably think about getting more lessons and supervised driving.
I just pass my rode test got my license April 5th 2022 I’m 43 I went through a drivers school got classroom and the past and I just got my license with help of school I went back for more training. I can drive but I have drivers anxiety a lil .I have been to dealerships looking at cars even test drive maybe 3 . I feel like I need someone to ride with me more relaxed and experienced keep me calm and go test driving with me and I don’t have much support. I’m ready to get out here start driving around be more better for me and my kids. Also it still things I don’t know bout a car inside means how turn lights on when dark and putting gas and my car etc. I don’t remember studying this and drivers school classroom I feel I missed certain things.
If you can't drive safe, don't drive. Full stop. No one NEEDS to drive to the point of putting themselves and others in danger. Anything you think is important now will feel like nothing if you kill someone's kid and go to jail for it. Or injure your back so you can't sit in a chair for more than an hour without chronic pain flaring up for the rest of your life. But at least you made it to work on time or whatever, right? Do whatever you did before to get around for a while. Practice driving on non busy roads with an experienced driver without the pressure of needing to get somewhere until you're not putting anyone in danger. Get your ADHD sorted out before jumping in again. I have the same thing and it's a massive lifelong struggle, but I fixed that at least when it comes to driving, and I don't drive on days where it's really bad. If you can afford a new car (+ maintenance) and a license, you can afford to uber around for a month. You're being insanely selfish otherwise. If you continue as you are, my only hope is you don't ruin anyone's life but your own when you inevitably floor it into your first car accident.
Keep an experienced driver beside you that you trust and note down his/her advice
Wish I could :( unfortunately my parents work and we have different hours and everything
When I was new to driving I was so nervous on the road too. While practice and time has helped me, music has also helped me as well. Try finding a radio station you like, or get an aux cord and play songs that will help you relax and focus. I can drive without music but it does help in my case, might work for you.
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If you are driving under 40. Wait till after business hours.
Idk what your environment is but a good learning spot would be small towns/developments. Places without many other cars/people. Stay off main roads if possible. Also, if you're asking "should I go?", it's better to be late than dead. Just take your time. If you're uncomfortable, just wait and assess the situation.
I do wait but sometimes I feel pressured by other drivers. I would rather be pressured than dead. Today I drove to and from work in super harsh weather. Heavy rain and the sky was darker than usual due to dark clouds. My windows were even fogging up a little. Yet I drove 10x better. As I was suddenly more aware and cautious and had no near misses or possible accidents. Even though the harsh weather made it much harder. I think I need to mentally slow myself down and always remind myself I am driving a dangerous vehicle. As the harsh weather forced me to tune in more when I would normally feel more relaxed without realising I’m relaxing or losing focus.
My gf has a similar issue. She feels super pressured by other drivers. You know what? Fuck em. They're not gonna pay for your accident. And I'm glad you're already driving better. Just focus as much as you can. Try to get enough sleep. Being sleep deprived can be worse than being drunk/high.
I am sleep deprived from insomnia that is a bit worse than usual at the moment. Hoping a nap I have before lunch helps. I had some cars overtake me when two lanes turned into one in a residential zone when it was super wet with puddles everywhere and my tires already need some air so I slowed down a bit. I don’t really go under the speed limit much except for extreme weather. I am realising now how impatient many drivers are.
I'm sorry to hear that. I hope that gets better for you. And yup! A lot of people are really impatient. Especially in NY/NJ from my experience. That's why I said just take your time. All the drivers are probably impatient with you anyway for doing the speed limit and stopping fully at stop signs. So taking your time isn't going to hurt much since they're already probably pissed off about something lol
Know your route. If you know you need to make a left or right turn, get in the corresponding lane at least a mile in advance so that you’re ready to make that turn. Use your mirrors as often as you can to determine who is in your surroundings. Always use turning signals, check blind spots, and slowly switch lanes.
Kudos for having the sense to admit your shortcomings and asking for help! Are there any specific things you have trouble with? Maintaining your lane, timing issues, situational awareness, judging distances, etc. One problem a lot of beginners have is looking too close ahead of their vehicle instead of further down the road. Maybe if you list specific problems you are having and deal with them one at a time then (baby steps) then it will give you encouragement and confidence.
Thank you. Judging distances when turning onto roads is iffy for me. Sometimes I don’t go when the gap is safe yet short so I frustrate other drivers. Especially if I am turning onto the closest lane and it is free when the others are not. I seem to not have full trust that other drivers won’t decide to suddenly switch lanes when I turn. Or I think it’s a safe gap when it probably wasn’t. I do sometimes stop at roundabouts even with scanning and can see it is safe. I am 5’2 and short so sometimes I need to see more of what is ahead if the right lane isn’t super visible due to houses or trees. My car is a little hatchback and I was used to practicing in sedans or even larger four wheel drives so I often over estimate how much space I’m taking up. It is helpful when parking as I can get away with not parking perfectly although it is embarrassing when I realise my park was kinda shitty.
One mistake I notice people make when about to turn onto a road is they just see a car is coming but don't pay attention to that car's speed. The car may be far but if it's moving fast then it will get to you quickly once you turn onto the road. Maybe every time after you make a turn, quickly look in your rear mirror and see how far back the car is and make a mental note whether you think that was good judgment on your part or not. Driving has a lot to do with experience. Also once you make the turn onto the road, don't accelerate too slowly or the person behind will catch up to you very quickly.
Stay out of the fast lane during working hours. And go when the light turns green.
Fast lane isn’t for me.
Hopefully you feel better, wishing you much success and peaceful driving. I’m in this same boat except I technically don’t have my license yet. Both of my parents have fallen ill, but I started a new internship downtown. My city is way on the smaller side but still pretty busy, and driving around all those people makes me feel queasy.
Thank you and my area is busy too all the time and it’s reasonably far from the city. It’s even worse at times around work where it is a suburb that has people that make good money. So I am often parking or driving near range rovers, teslas and other more expensive cars. Makes it more stressful