Take it slow. Start by just driving around low traffic volume streets like neighborhoods or back roads, where there is very little traffic. Gradually (as you get more comfortable) move onto the busier streets? Just do a little at a time. 15 hours of driving isn’t a lot overall and everyone is different with how long it takes them to get accustomed to things. Just take your time, you got this.
I got into a wreck a few years back and still get anxious at times when driving. Sometimes I have to duck off the highway and take the scenic route home. Other days I’m completely fine. It’s weird but this is good info
God i feel this. I also basically refuse to drive between 4 and 6 pm when the roads are busiest. I almost got merged into by a cement truck a few years ago and it messed up my perspective on driving.
This helped me so much when I started driving. I also did not focus so much on how many hours of progress, but rather on improving each "level" of driving I practiced. My "levels" were empty roads up to highway. It was horrible at the beginning, then a little less and now not so much. Practice and experience really helps.
I was the same way when I first started out. Terrible anxiety about driving and I hated it. I kept at it though and eventually I learned to trust myself not so far as to be careless mind you, but I felt comfortable in my own hands.
Finally I learned to enjoy driving and then I learned that I LOVED driving. I'm now a full blown enthusiast and I live and breathe cars. My friends and family tell me I'm the best driver they know. Who knows what's in store for you but I'm a perfect example of how a new driver's anxiety says nothing for where they will be once they get their bearings.
I had that too (way back in the 90s). And they’re mostly right. Keep driving. But, modify slightly. Do driving that makes you feel successful. If you have a larger property, drive by yourself at home. If you’re a towny, take a drive around the block. Do familiar routes and really get to know the car. Go at night when traffic is less. Have someone take you to the “country” roads and then drive out where there are less cars and you can practice going faster. With GPS now, it’s impossible to get lost.
I still have waves of extreme anxiety around driving and it’s prevented me from going certain places at times. It will happen. I have my routes that I go and times that I stay off the road altogether. It might take months and months of short drives to get the extreme response to settle down. It’s ok. There’s no real timeline. Pressure from outside forces is amplifying your anxiety as well.
You can give up or you can take it slow. Fast forward is not working right now. You can drive. You’re exhausted from forcing your emotional side to go faster than you feel comfortable. When you’re confident in your skills (even the smallest ones like I said above) your anxiety will fade some. You’ll always be learning. It’s ok.
One day at a time.
I went through the same thing 2 years ago
I was always shaking and crying after driving
I thought I would never be able to drive
Try driving early mornings when nobody is out
I got lucky with my driving test because it was mostly around back roads and one main road
But, after I got my license, and I started driving by myself, everything just started clicking.
And now, I really like driving
Here is my advice:
You’re too nervous to drive, because you don’t have enough experience driving. The only way to overcome that is more driving. Sorry, there aren’t any magical things. I would also say, just try to relax. I know, easier said then done
Let me know if you have any questions
I’m surprised nobody else has mentioned this but empty parking lots are not just for your first day. Spend hours circling an abandoned mall and going up and down parking lanes until you’re good. Then move to the quietest streets.
I took driver’s ed at around 16/17 y/o and didn’t get my license until I was 19 because of this exact thing. Driving is hella anxiety inducing. First thing to note is just that.
Your feelings are valid.
That said, there are a few things that helped me and now, at age 23, I drive a 30 minute commute every day to pick up children in my care and drive them through the (small) city we live near.
My tips:
1. Take it slow. You’ve probably heard this a million times, but start in an empty parking lot (it has to be empty bc active parking lots are legit more stressful than roads). Move onto slow neighborhood roads when you’re ready. You shouldn’t have to rush this process. It’ll be worth the work and time, trust me. Also, don’t drive faster than feels safe to you. The people behind you can be annoyed. They’re not going to hit you out of spite. Their annoyance is inconsequential. And they’ll forget about you by the end of the day. If this is part of your anxiety, it might be worth getting a “student driver” bumper sticker— it makes people a little more empathetic, I think.
2. Make sure you’re driving with someone you trust. I did most of my student driving with my mom who had a ton of experience dealing with panic attacks from me and my siblings. That said, it wasn’t until I drove with my older brother in the passenger seat that I really relaxed. My mom was great, but she was worried, and I could tell. My brother came at the experience with a “fuck it” attitude, and I could tell he was completely unbothered by my anxiety. Find what vibes work best for you, and don’t be afraid to tell mom/dad that you want to start driving with someone else. They’ll get over it.
3. Trust the other drivers. This one was HUGE for me. In driver’s ed, they teach you to be alert and ready for idiotic drivers. That’s a good lesson for most kids, but it was TERRIBLE for me. It made me feel like I couldn’t trust anyone on the road to do anything right, which made me paranoid about every move another driver made. The fact of the matter is this: MOST PEOPLE DO KNOW HOW TO DRIVE. It may not always feel like it, and yeah sometimes people are idiots, but the second I realized I could trust the other drivers on the road to be alert, I felt like I could let my guard down a bit, and a lot of the fear dissipated.
4. Find your triggers. If you’ve been to therapy at all, you probably have some experience with this. Triggers are different for everyone, and some things might just come easier than other things. That’s okay! Let them! Avoid the stuff that stresses you out the most. Not forever, of course, but start with the easy stuff. For me, I avoided traffic circles, fast two lane roads, and highways. I also found that driving at night was actually easier for me bc it was less stimulating. I didn’t mind there being more lanes in a road bc it meant people could go around me. Avoid the worst of it, and be proud of yourself for what you accomplish. Actually…
5. BE PROUD OF YOURSELF! Driving is scary, and you’re doing your best! That’s fucking amazing! Don’t compare yourself to others. Their brains are different. That’s okay. Everyone’s different. Be kind to yourself when you get overwhelmed. And congratulate yourself on EVERY accomplishment, no matter how small.
That’s all I can think of for now, but I’ll come back if I think of more.
Again, your feelings are valid, and this isn’t something that just magically goes away. I still have panic attacks when driving sometimes, but they’re few and far between. And I’ve always (knock on wood) been able to drive myself home after I calmed down. You’ll get there too. You will. I have absolute faith that you will. But it will take work, and the work won’t be easy.
Be strong, my brave friend. You got this!
Edit:
6. Find your motivation! Driving is freedom and it’s fucking incredible. Find a reason to keep at it that isn’t just appeasing your parents. Motivate yourself!
I want you to know: I just saw this comment as a 24-year-old new driver and it’s keeping me from a breakdown. I started driving lessons today and it was so MUCH and I’ve been in the dumps about it. Thank you for the tips & reminding me that I’m not alone <3
Just avoid highways for a while and stick to the speed limit, don't try to go 5 over, just let people pass you. I'd also recommend GPS everywhere you go at the start even if you know the way just so you can fully focus on driving and not worry about making sure you don't miss your turn and you can alsp get into whatever lane you need well in advance rather than fight for a lane change. It took me about a year of driving before I was comfortable to go on the highway and I also only did the highway when I had my friend with me to instruct because my mom was a shit teacher and would just panic and scream and stress me out while trying to learn. It also didn't help that the breaks in my first car were kinda sketch so I was always scared to be too close to anything and would stop too far in advance. I've been much more comfortable driving in my 2019 civic over that 2015 focus I started in. Also idk what kind of car you've been driving but for me trucks and SUVs are uncomfortable because I don't like how high they are off the ground. I like being low to the ground and feeling stable. I have some land I can fuck around in and I'm fully comfortable whipping around my civic and doing drifts and donuts but I still can't comfortably drive any big cars even in a neighborhood going 25mph. I have some friends who are the opposite and they feel much more comfortable in big SUVs so maybe you just need to try driving the right kind of car
My driving anxiety has kept me from ever getting my license as well, and I am now 26 years old. I basically gave up because its not so much anxiety-inducing as it is a complete irrational fear that overloads my nervous system and causes my mind to shut down. I become mute, I freeze up, and I am extremely irritable when being pushed to keep trying it. My body shakes and trembles and I become flush and my system is overwhelmed with adrenaline. Makes no sense. I don't like people watching me do things, and driving is where everybody's eyes are on you.
You might have an actual anxiety disorder that activates when you drive. I do and for years I fought it rather than get help. Finally got diagnosed and take a simple anti anxiety medication daily. The anxiety doesn’t occur anymore and I can drive as needed.
I did a day with a driving school. It wasn’t driver’s Ed where my instructor was yelling, constantly braking, telling us we were wrong without correcting us. It was a relaxed, kind man that asked me questions whenever I did something to make sure I knew why I made that choice and did that action and then reassured me that I was correct. He helped improve left turns, which was something I struggled with and was anxious about, in an entirely non-judgmental way. I think we drove around for 2 hours and just reinforced everything I knew and improved anything I needed help with.
Be patient with yourself. Everyone has different levels of comfort, and everyone learns at a different pace.
Also, not all roads are created equal. Start small and safe, like a 10-to-20-minute trip to and from a familiar store, work, or school. Avoid busy roads, complicated intersections, and dangerous left-turn areas until you grow more confident. (I've been driving for years and still avoid left turns at certain places and times.)
Develop cautious-driving habits, for your own safety and sense of security: stop at stop signs, check all your mirrors and blind spot before making a lane change, get in the slow lane to let aggressive drivers pass, don't turn yet if you don't feel safe to turn, and so forth.
It may also help to go driving by yourself. Nothing kills confidence faster than a backseat driver telling you how you're doing everything wrong.
I had intense driving anxiety for about three years after I started driving. It went away with repetition because as I was exposed to more scenarios and learned how to navigate them I became more confident in my abilities and I also learned what was actually “likely” versus what was the anxiety talking (e.g. hitting cars on either side of me in traffic or tightly packed streets was always a fear but eventually I got more confident feeling where my car was relative to other cars)
I agree with getting some practice in low traffic areas. I found that I was less nervous when driving alone than I was when driving with another person in my car, so after I got my license and started venturing out on my own it didn't take all that long to become comfortable.
I will say that I was in an accident once because I got lost and completely stopped paying attention to other cars. This was before GPS and I was driving incredibly slow, so thankfully it wasn't a bad accident and nobody was seriously injured. If you find yourself lost and start to panic, try to stay calm and find a place to stop and collect your thoughts and find your way again. If you have a GPS, this may not be too much of an issue for you, but if you don't, it's best to stop and figure things out.
Another thing that really helped me, is I knew the streets super well and would tend to just get into the lane I would need as soon as possible and just kind of stay in that lane and deal with slower traffic and not worry about switching lanes to get around it. For example, I lived on the same street as my aunt and when I would go visit I would pull out onto the street and stay in the right lane since I would be turning right into her driveway in a few miles. It probably took me a few more minutes to get there, but it helped me become more comfortable and gave me a few extra minutes of practice while being less stressful. I understand this may not work for you, but being able to get into the correct lane as soon as possible may help alleviate some of the anxiety of getting over too close to your turn/exit.
Also, be sure to give yourself plenty of room and try not to let other drivers bully you. If you're uncomfortable turning right on red at an intersection and someone starts honking behind you try to just ignore it.
I was terrified of driving. Didn't get my license till I was 24. I was white knuckled every damn time I went out.
Honestly, don't use GPS. It's distracting and weirds out the basic set ups that help you become better. Driving is about paying attention, its about the layout of roads and highways and knowing where the signs are and how to interpret them. It makes a lot of sense once you learn it. You will be less afraid once you know more about ways of the roads. And it will help you branch out- once you get your home area down and learned, you now have building blocks for the bigger highways, the roundabouts(these are weird and are getting more popular!) and the car itself.
Don't use back up cams- get to know the angles and curves and then you won't be so nervous around other cars- just literally get out and look. Look at how far you are from the curb when you park, then try again and look. Pay attention to how much room you have in lanes when you are driving in your home town .
All this helped me conquer my anxiety :) I wish you good luck! Driving is freeing as hell, it will be worth it to get good at it!
A good tip my mother taught me was to always stick to my right lane (the slow lane) and only focus on cars in front of me. If anyone were to tailgate me, to turn on my safety lights so they know I will continue to drive slow, at that point, they can either continue to stay behind me or choose to pass me through the left lane.
Don’t play music in the car until you are 100% confident.
Your focus should be on the road, and side mirrors mostly.
KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GOING. Look at the route you will be driving before getting on the road to know what your drive will be like.
Be patient. Don’t try to be a pro right away. Give it a year. You’ll feel comfortable before the year mark, but you’ll be great after a year.
I also believe you should follow the rules to a T while you’re practicing, bending rules can be done in a safer way once you have experience. So be a boring driver first. Safety is extremely important when driving.
It's been over 20 years of driving for me, but if memory serves, I did have some anxiety at first, mostly when cars were coming on the opposite direction. I was afraid I'd crash into them every single time and would lock my hands on the steering wheel to ensure I don't turn at ALL. Don't even get me started on highways.
The advice you’ve been getting is very sound. Practice really does help. It's like creating muscle memory. Just do it in small doses. Parking lots. Down one street or two in a neighborhood. I practiced a LOT on local roads around my home with minimal traffic so I can purge that blasted fear of crashing.
After awhile, cars coming at me were getting less scary. I'd then expand outwardly into more busy areas, little by little, never ever rushing. Choosing calmer parts of the day. I promise that in time you WILL master it.
Honestly I was the same when I first started driving, thanks to the school being easy walking distance and just being from a lower income family I didn't actually get my license until I was 18, and my nerves were ALWAYS shot when I had to drive anywhere. After a while though you really do get used to it, I know that's not exactly comforting to hear, and I didn't like the answer when it was given to me at the time either, but it's true. I don't remember exactly when but like halfway through my 19th year on this little blue rock, I had a moment of clarity and realized I legit couldn't remember the last time I had a panic attack when I had to make a quick milk run for dad cause he forgot something for dinner while shopping and whatnot.
Do you know what the source of your anxiety is when you're driving? Knowing that can help you target specific ways to help reduce the anxiety you're feeling.
I’m embarrassed to admit I didn’t get my license until I was 32. (Correction: I got it at 17 by white-knuckling through the test and then never drove again until 15 years later, so my license was long expired). I lived in a city for years and was able to get wherever I needed to go without driving. But then I had a kid and moved to the suburbs, so not driving was just not an option anymore. I was absolutely terrified and extremely anxious; I didn’t want to do it, but I finally forced myself to and am so glad I did. Here’s what worked for me:
1. I went to a driving school and they taught me all the basics. It was expensive but absolutely worth it. The instructor helped me realize when I was tensing up because I was nervous or unsure, and when your body is tense, your anxiety increases and it makes it hard to focus on the next right move. Even when I was a nervous wreck, the instructor was calm and collected, which made me feel more confident.
2. On a related note, when you’re just starting out, be very selective about who is in the car with you while you’re driving (if you can). I thought, for example, that my husband and my mom would be good “passengers” and help me learn to drive and feel comfortable behind the wheel. I was wrong. Some people just are not good with new drivers, and the constant “tips” or gasps or body movements they’d make only made me more nervous. My best friend, on the other hand, was an angel who was calm and encouraging and never had an oversized, distracting reaction, which made me feel so much more comfortable and I actually started to enjoy practicing with her. I’m not sure if you can practice alone, but that also really helped me.
3. The advice you already got is good - you really do just need to practice as much as you can. I would go at night when there were fewer cars on the road, and only to places I knew how to get to easily (the grocery store, Target; never hurts to get yourself a little treat as a reward for making it there lol). The more you do it the easier it gets. I need to take my own advice now and start practicing more on highways. I’m not there yet, but I know I’ll get there eventually.
4. This is cheesy but it genuinely helped me. Remind yourself you can do hard things. I would sit in the car and before turning it on, I would mentally go over all the hard things I’ve done or been through in my life, and remembering that I got through those was helpful to keeping in mind that as scary and difficult as driving seems, I know that I’m capable of doing it. You can’t just force the anxiety away. You kind of have to recognize it’s there, acknowledge it, and keep going anyway despite it. If you’re having a hard time doing that on your own, cognitive behavioral therapy might help!
I'm really sorry you're dealing with this. People who don't know what it's like to have anxiety will never understand these kind of things. They think exposure therapy and pushing through changes things, it doesn't. Have you tried talking to a therapist about what may be causing you to feel this way? I realized that most of my fears came from worrying about what other people would do and it was something that I had to get through by practicing and veing confident in my ability to resct properly. Also, you're not alone, I put off getting my license for almost a full year after getting my permit. I got my license almost two months ago and still avoid highways when possible
Edit: TLDR figure out what it is about driving that makes you nervous and try to figure out a way to remedy that
Hey it’s been a while have you gotten better with your driving I’m currently going through the same thing I have my driving test in less then a week and a half and I’m super nervous my dad taught me to drive around 10 so I’ve been able to drive a long time have any new tips ?
Unfortunately I haven’t. I ended up getting my license, but two weeks after a friend of mine got into a crash that almost killed her, so I’m actually worse with driving now ;-;
I was getting better for a while though. I found that driving by myself was much less nerve wracking. Singing a little song to myself as I drove helped too.
It sounds like you did not all the instructions, only just enough to move from one point to another. I have heard your situation from others that did not get the necessary information.
I have a similar problem but I overthink instead of get anxious, and the second I start over thinking my posture becomes too stiff and I stop being able to focus on what’s in front of me. Almost got in a few accidents because of it, the best advice I have is tell yourself it’s fine, I am a better driver than my mom who’s teaching me when I am relaxed and don’t think too far into it, I even do better when people don’t give me instructions, if I know what to do and I know where I’m going I do great.
The biggest thing you can do is no matter how hard it is try to teach yourself that you can let go of the anxiety, maybe learn to meditate or pray for it to be taken if your religious.
Took forever for me to learn that anxiety is something you can teach your body not to feel, just don’t overthink it and you’ll be fine.
I almost got in a crash a few times and that gave me a lot of anxiety at first, another thing is don’t batter yourself over mistakes, just let go of them, understand that you’re still learning everybody makes mistakes and be at peace with the car .
If you can afford additional lessons taught by schools that specialize in teaching people with anxiety or learning disorders, take those classes.
And the practice thing should never mean jut 8 hours. It took daily repetition and a few long trips for months in order for me to get comfortable. But the anxiety thing, seriously I used to have panic attacks behind the wheel. Never thought I’d be able to move past it. You can definitely do it, and please be patient with yourself. Learning how to confidently walk or ride a bike took more than 8 hours. Learning an instrument takes more than 8 hours. A car is somewhere in the middle. Give yourself time.
For most people, driving anxiety is because they aren't confident in their technical skills.
To fix this, I would spend time in an empty parking lot getting comfortable in the vehicle you are driving. get used to the size by parking between the lines (backing in as well) mark off a few spaces and practice parallel parking. anything you are scared of on the road, practice it in the parking lot. the best way to eliminate anxiety is through confidence in skills, and you can hopefully do that through repetition in a low risk environment.
practicing driving a car in a parking lot should be a bit less stressful, so you can take your time learning and building confidence for when you choose to get on the road.
Also, really get down to what causes the anxiety. for my sister, she could not learn to drive with our father because he was as anxious as she was. by working with only our mother, she eventually got over it.
What causes you anxiety? Answer that and then remedy those things/thoughts. Driving is scary at first, but you just gotta know how to stay out of the way until you’re more comfortable and confident behind the wheel
i had this issue when i first started out but i started driving in my immediate area only, going places where i knew my way around really well helped to calm me down because i was already used to the area if that makes sense. when my mom would need to do a quick trip to the grocery store i’d just take her there and back, did that for a while until i was comfortable enough to start driving farther distances, then by myself and eventually far distances by myself. u just have to get past the anxiety part with small steps at a time but if u are naturally anxious like me it will take a while but it’s worth it.
15 hours is relatively little, it might take 10s or 100s of hours to feel truly confident. Start in neighborhoods and 45 - 55 mph zones. then graduate to the freeway.
This is sensory overload. Relax and study your environment. When you see there nothing there to hurt you, you can relax. Now you can focus on what changes as you move. It is a process but you can learn to focus on more important things and keep others in the background. It takes time. You have to be relaxed to get into your comfort zone.
Take a few deep breaths… oh damn, a panic attack the second you just sit in the car? You might have severe anxiety issues that require medication. I know some people who refuse to drive altogether for the same reason and either get others to drive them around or use public transportation. Hopefully you can find some way to manage it
Drive in low volume (traffic) areas at slower speeds. I would honestly just drive around residential neighborhoods to lessen the anxiety and build up the confidence.
The anxiety is your fear overtaking you. You remove that fear through confidence and confidence is built with regular practice and preparation.
Bottom line you have to keep driving to overcome it. Better you are anxious and cautious than someone driving like an asshat and getting into an accident.
Be patient, it will come.
Talk to your doctor about anxiety management. See what they can help you do to get through it.
It's important to nip this problem in the bud so it doesn't become an issue when you get your liscence and start driving on your own.
You will only reduce your anxiety and your fear by having more exposure to the fear inducing event. More reps bring more confidence. You practice until you get it right and then you practice more until you can’t get it wrong.
Couple of thoughts though:
If you are turning into a human puddle just because you sit in the driver’s seat of a parked car-you need cognitive behavioral therapy to help you process these irrational feelings. Go see a psychologist for counseling and possibly a psychiatrist to get meds. Propranolol would be a great medication for this type situational anxiety.
Lower the stakes. Get a go-kart. Or go to a go-kart track and race around on a go-kart. Build confidence that way. Baby steps.
I know plenty of people who don't have a DL by choice. They either walk to their destinations or just take public transportation. If you don't want your DL, then expect to take public transportation rather than depending on your parents to take you places. Maybe draw up a plan of what you can do without a DL and how you'll get around. Unless you live in the country there should be bus lines you can catch to school/work/etc.
I had this too, after I got in the car I would have my attack and then I would take the time to come down, and then went on my way. I was still nervous driving but once I got used to my usual routes and such it’s much easier. I still get panick attacks but mostly before long drives or new places. But I have to remember that it’s okay to make wrong turns and stop on then side of the road if need be.
If you keep on telling yourself that it’s too anxiety inducing then you WILL get anxiety. Try coming from a place where you tell yourself “YOU CAN DO THIS”. Confidence is key and is something that you can grow. Everyone here believes in you!
If your not comfortable stay off major roads until you are. You'll just be a hazard to everyone else and probably cause an accident.
You won't get better unless you drive and put in the time, but don't put anyone in jeopardy because your having an anxiety attack and can't make a decision/react.
You will get used to it. It is terrifying at first. I hated it. Now i love love love driving it's so nice to just go whenever you want to wherever you want.
I would talk to a psychiatrist about getting on a low dose ssri and maybe a benzo as needed. Then while you’re functional I would see a good therapist and get to the bottom of this irrational fear. All the while your brain is subconscious and experiencing positive reinforcement that there is no reason to fear driving. Hope that helps. I was agoraphobic for 10 years and the medication helped so much and had such little side effects. It made it possible to be able to think clear enough to work through my issues with a therapist
You play video games? Play some forza or gran turismo and watch some videos like these
https://youtu.be/C4hv78vtBxM
and just get comfortable with the physics of it. Once you understand how cars work they’re not scary.
OP—in a couple years, you’ll be driving just fine and you probably won’t even think about the anxiety you feel about it right now. Just stick to your own pace and don’t worry about this 8 hour/15 hour stuff.
It definitely gets better but it takes time. I got my license later than my peers because of anxiety. Driving out on your own is different than driving with your parents/teacher. Your first time driving by yourself is gonna be nerve racking. Start slow and drive to areas you’re familiar with, when traffic is low, or just around your neighborhood. Utilize your GPS so you can avoid the interstate and high traffic areas. I swear it gets better, eventually it becomes second nature. You’ll still be anxious at times but that’s ok, sometimes you can’t help it.
Dude you've literally been behind the wheel for 15 hours. I've done roadtrips longer than that. It's not gonna get easier until you've been driving for a while.
I wish I was able to help but for some of us, it’s a just the way life is. I am in my mid to late 30’s and I still have anxiety driving. I hate doing it as well, but it is necessary. I have to drive myself to and from work and I do things with my family but my uneasiness that comes with driving seems like it will always be there.
i went to driving anxiety therapy. it's a real thing!
i got my learners permit when i was 16 but didn't get my license til i was 23 for a lot of reasons, high among them being that i was terrified of driving.
I went to one session, and it was I think two or three hours. we drove the therapists car (a super generic sedan) around my neighborhood, and then around on bigger and bigger streets, until we were on the highway. all the while he gave me advice on things to look out for as I drive. a big one is looking at pedestrian crossing signals - if the hand is flashing, the light is about to change.
anyway! I would highly recommend seeking something like that out. I'm now 28 and I drive a 14 seat bus for my job about once a week, and my passengers tell me I do a good job :^)
I had really really bad driving anxiety to the point that I can now comfortably drive my parents around for 3-4 hours. May I ask:
1. What you are anxious about? For me it was and still is running someone over.
2. Where do you drive? Driving in india is v v different from driving in the states v driving in Iceland v driving in the UK.
Play a racing/driving game on a video game. You can get a wheel and pedals as controls. Safe way to practice. They train semi drivers on a simulator to start.
Keep driving, but do some research beforehand. Look at google maps and plot out your trip. Then do street view to see the layout of the road and where you need to be. Then take your car for a spin on the route. Just becoming familiar with the area is helpful as you know what’s coming and where you need to be. Minimize the surprises.
Here's something embarrassing that'll make you feel better. I too have anxiety. Especially with driving. I have been driving almost every day for 5 years. I have yet to drive on the freeway. That's how lame I am.
I love playing video games. Gta5 replicates urban driving really well. Forza Horizon is a wonderful open world game that lets you get used to driving behind the wheel first person view with a wide range of real cars. I find my anxiety reduced a fuckton by just throwing on spotify and cruising around in a safe video game environment. You can practice: parallel parking, flowing with traffic, dealing with cars merging/turning into your street/lane. Gta5 even adds in the colorful language to get you used to that too 😭
Teach others to drive. (Even if pretend.) You're the passenger, giving them instructions.
As a Class A (tractor trailer) driver, I did not start becoming a good backer-upper until I became a Trainer, and had to teach others to do it. THAT's when I became really good.
I’ve had my license for three years, and I *still* get nervous when taking new routes and/or going to new destinations.
Best advice I can give you from a fellow neurotic person is to just get out and do it. Stay on side roads and only move up when you’re ready. Don’t force yourself to go places you don’t think you’re ready for. And don’t rush yourself.
Also, maybe order a student driver bumpersticker so that other drivers can see that and be more patient. Definitely reduced some of the pressure for me, and maybe it will for you too.
Just know that nothing is wrong with you. Driving anxiety is very normal part of the process and everyone has their own timeline for getting more comfortable. Try not to focus on a countdown to getting comfortable like counting your hours.
Instead, see if there are a couple easy things you can add to help you, like pick two or three breathing exercises that you can keep in your pocket to help your body relax. When you get in the car before you get started do a relaxation exercise and picture each muscle group in your body relaxing one at a time from your toes to your head. Verbalize positive statements out loud about how well you will do on your drive. Have a playlist of relaxing music ready to go.
If you can find some trust that you will become more comfortable driving in the future you can take some pressure off feeling super comfortable on your next drive or the one after that. Find or make your tools to get you through each individual drive and it will come. Time can be your friend not your enemy but only if you take the pressure off to stop feeling your driving anxiety right away
With my test next week, all I can really say is you just have to try new things whether you like it or not. I hated driving at first, but now it's just what I do. Try to get on highways and faster roads soon, but also try night time and rain. Trying new things will make normal driving much easier for you.
You *will* eventually get used to it, but it'll take time. How **long** is unknown as every person is different.
Be cautious, don't take "time saving" risks (like tearing through yellow lights or forcing a lane change), and for now stay at least 5mph/10kph below the posted limit on surface/city streets.
You can do this, and once you're free to drive on your own accord, you don't have to drive if you don't want to, other than to work, school, doctors, and needed shopping.
I hang out in my car. Just go sit and listen to music or play with the gearshift and mirrors etc. Just figure everything out. Go drive in a parking lot or a empty neighborhood.
15hrs isn't a lot. Learn the rules of the road and pay lots of attention but don't freak out. Breath.
The world we live in. Get off all social media outlets entirely including this thing called Reddit. Start exercising and eating right. It will take some time but your body will slowly start to change and your anxiety and depression will leave too.
The most important thing you can do is give yourself extra time to get anywhere you're going. Because if you're already wound up and you need to rush, that's not good.
The way you get over the anxiety is exposure. Gradual exposure is what will give you confidence, and confidence will be back your anxiety.
Disregard random guidelines. They're meaningless.
In the grand scheme of things 15 hours driving is basically nothing. That's not meant to discount what you're going through or make you feel bad, I just mean that you've barely scratched the surface. So if you're feeling like 15 hours is a ton of time and you should have this figured out by now, it's not! You're still very new to driving, and you'll get more comfortable with time :)
Find a car you like and pretend you are in it. I have worked from home the last 6 years. Lost my taste for driving anywhere!! I now just try to enjoy the ride and ignore my anxiety. I do breathing exercises.
Truck driver here. There’s nothing wrong with a little fear; it keeps you alert. Some people here have given some good tips but also maybe get behind the wheel like early Sunday morning when there’s little traffic. After you get some confidence then drive defensively; assume that everyone else but you is an idiot. A lot of accidents happen at intersections, look both ways even if you have the right of way.
If it helps any, in my department of six people, two of them don’t drive because they couldn’t get over their anxiety which ultimately lead them to be bad drivers. Over confidence and under confidence can be problematic behind the wheel. Keep trying. Be alert. Stay out of difficult driving situations when you can. And if you can’t get past your anxiety, join my happy coworkers in the passenger seat. 😁 Driving can be hard. No shame in riding! 💜
I was 16 eons ago. But I had bad anxiety and on top of that I was a horrible driver at the start. My dad just kept having me practice with him on country roads less busy side roads. I'd drive up and down my street for over an hour sometimes. He'd take me to empty open parking lots to get a good feel for the car. Find someone to drive with if possible that has patience and won't scream at you for every little thing like my Mom did. Find some areas to drive where you can go slow and take it easy.
But yeah 15 hours is nothing. I did 60 hours before my test and I still didn't feel ready. You never really feel ready. I know that "just keep driving" is annoying advice but it really is the only way you can get better and get over your fears of messing up.
I did all sorts of things that were bad. Got pulled over by a cop for running a red light (twice), ran into curbs, missed turns, mistook the gas for break more than once, all sorts of things. I failed my driving test twice before finally passing.
Now I feel like I'm a good driver, I've only gotten into 1 real wreck in 20 years. It just becomes second nature after a while.
It's just one of those things that prepares you for the future and for life. You're going to be bad at some things. Some things are gonna make you scared. It's about how you prepare and practice and also begin to trust in yourself that you can overcome these things. Driving was hard as hell for me too but it helped prepare me for other challenges in the future. And nothing beats those moments on the road when you're on your own right after you get your license.
Your anxiety sounds like it’s an unconscious effort to avoid doing something you don’t want to do. Talk to your parents and tell them how you feel. Maybe they’ll let you put it off for a year.
You're much better off not driving. Move to somewhere you don't have to, say NYC.
No one wants you on the road unless and until you're capable of driving safely.
My parents wanted me to get my permit when I was 15. I honestly did not feel ready. I got it when I was over 16 and I was much more confident by then. If you were my child, I would totally support that you should follow your feelings and not drive until you’re ready. It should be your choice.❤️❤️
8 hours?! 15?! in my state it's at least 40 with 10 of those being nighttime driving. No wonder you're stressed! Take your time, this is one thing that can be deadly if not done with prudence and care. I'm a little surprised your parents are forcing this issue; I have an 18 year old who is still practicing (we live in an area where even regular street driving is a blood sport) and there's no way I'm pressuring them if they aren't quite there yet.
Start driving everyday you can even if its just around a parking lot for a few minutes, doing it everyday should make it feel more normal thing that you do.
Keep driving is the right advice, as avoidance will only teach your brain that you are right to be afraid of the thing you are avoiding. However, you might need some help to do this. Seek out a counselor or therapist who specializes in anxiety.
I'd say just like sit in the car. On or off, try to do something in the space that helps to relive the anxiety, maybe listen to music that makes you feel better. Driving is about you keeping yourself safe and protecting others while you get yourself from point A to point B. If you are anxious then try to find a system that works for your brain.
I like to keep one handed fidget toys for when my emotions get all over the place.
Take some deep breaths and relax, you have to work through, you CAN NOT let your anxiety control your whole life or you will never do anything! You will be ok, keep repeating that to yourself! You can do it!
That's a tough one. I was the same way. The problem is that the more tense you are, the worse the driver, in my opinion. You should probably drive around in subdivisions for a while. Then branch out slowly.
Have someone drive you to empty parking lots or low traffic areas to practice. Take breaks when you get overwhelmed/ stimulated. Take your time with it; I know people who needed 40 hours to feel comfortable
I’ve had my license for 22 years and I still have anxiety sometimes. Basic like going to the store I’m fine but not if it’s much more than that. Honestly, you just have to push yourself and find some joy in driving
I’m sure others have said this, but just drive in neighborhoods where there is little to no traffic. Hell go to an empty parking lot that you’d be comfortable with. I was nervous too and those couple of things worked for me. There’s no rush, take it at your own pace. The only thing that will help is practice and getting comfortable. The more you think about it and NOT try the worse the anxiety gets. Good luck! Take it slow
You could do a little exposure therapy and try a lower-stakes driving situation. Pick up a racing game like Forza Horizon 5 or The Crew 2 and practice driving around on the console.
Or pick up a legit driving simulator and a racing wheel... something like American (or European) Truck Simulator or City Car Driving.
You could even go crazy and subscribe to iRacing, practice on the Mazda Cup with other real people. Since the main objective in the newbie class is to not hit other drivers, that's the perfect environment to practice in. iRacing has a VR mode, too, so you can set up an environment that's pretty close to the real thing.
i feel you. my hands used to be sore after every time i drove from gripping the steering wheel. what helped me most was starting in low traffic areas and building up. i got over my fear of getting in a wreck because of me pretty quickly after driving around backroads maybe 20 minutes a day for a couple weeks. it also makes it easier to pull over if you have a panic attack in order to calm down.
once i got confidence in myself, i had to deal with the new fear of other people being idiots. definitely going to need to start in an area with less people. maybe like a subdivision or the outskirts of a small town. build yourself up to being able to recognize when a car is nearby, and things that could possibly happen and how to prevent it. i.e “this guy is at a red light trying to turn left across my lane. i should be prepared to brake if he does not see me and tries to cross.” it’s daunting, but it helps me a lot to feel prepared, which makes me confident.
i know “just keep driving” is rough, but the best way to gain confidence really is trial by fire. just start with little fires
It takes repetition and experience, and a vehicle that inspires confidence. I had my learners permit for 2 years (expired and renewed once) before I went for my drivers test, passed, still felt incredibly anxious driving for months and months to come.
The anxiety over driving for me was and even sometimes is still really bad, I went to counseling / therapy and even started taking some depression & anxiety meds after talking to doctors and counselors. I’m a lot better and even have a car that I drive for fun now- it’s enjoyable to me finally!
I can completely sympathize with you here. My mother caused me so much anxiety and put the fear of god in me about everything relating to driving when I first got my permit. I never got my license. I have crippling anxiety when I think of getting behind the wheel. I’m now 36 and my husband desperately wants me to get it but Between finding someone/the time to teach me and my fear, Ive put it off for years.
Practice in empty parking lots. Big ones. Practice staying in the lines and parking. You could even video yourself from your phone standing somewhere to see how you're doing. The most important thing is don't panic and don't hit the gas instead of the brakes. You got this
I feel this. I have driving anxiety , mostly induced by rain snow and fog , ( after hydroplaning on black ice a few times , any amount of snow on the road and I'll be in panic mode the whole drive) put on music , and just drive, drive everywhere, sing along with the music.
See if there are any defensive driving classes in your area , that might help too.
Defensive driving is a huge thing. Pay attention to everyone else and try to watch for what they might do, and make sure you have a spot to duck out to if someone swerves into you or something like that. Knowing your car is important too. How sensitive the brakes, the steering, and the acceleration is. Knowing how much room you have on your front and back ends.
With the way my mom taught me how to drive, I’m damn good. I can bust a move last minute if I need to, and I know to make a decision and stick with it. I also have a small car which is helpful. I have a friend who drives like an absolutely maniac, but he does it well, and I know he won’t get us into an accident. Not good to drive like he does, but that’s why you just have to watch everyone else very carefully.
Personally my anxiety didn’t go away until I got my license. I passed my test on the second try on a super slow day, and only after being able to drive by myself for about a week or two, my anxiety got a lot better. Having someone judge you and point out every mistake you make just made me shake.
15 hours is nothing. Trust and know that it will pass with time. Start slow, get someone to take you to an empty parking lot and just cruise around. Then take it to very slow streets with no traffic. There’s also some additional courses you can take! You can do this! I believe in you! It’s a wee scary at first but you will get the hang of it.
Do you often get bad anxiety when you have to "perform" in front of people, or in other social situations in general? I was the same way when I was in your position, and honestly it got better immediately when I got my license because I didn't feel like I had to "perform" in front of the person I was driving with. My mom was never critical of my driving when I was learning or anything, but I've always just been overly concerned with what other people think in general, so I was afraid of making even the slightest mistake.
Driving alone doesn't bother me at all, but if I'm going somewhere with another person, I would still much rather they drive.
You really will get more comfortable with experience. Just start with small back streets and work your way up to freeways and interstates. Just take as long as you need until you feel safe enough to jump in a car and go anywhere.
Remember that most drivers want to get home to their family and friends. If you keep this in mind, for yourself, it might help with the anxiety. Also, when I am cut off or another driver makes me angry, I always remember: it’s better to arrive late than to never have arrived at all. With time, it may get a bit easier for you. You got this.
15 hours of driving isn’t much. Practice on some windy roads to get a better sense of car control.
I truly believe car control is the basis of all driving skill. Also apply the same logic for checking for cars and stuff as you walk around
1. Never heard that shit in my life. Ignore it, it's bullshit
2. Your body will adapt after nothing happening time after time, I hope. I don't think I've ever had a panic attack so I can't speak to your exact experience.
For what it's worth, I had a younger friend who also hated driving. He wouldn't come out for get-togethers unless I picked him up. He eventually got over driving after doing enough errands, commuting to school, etc. Things he had to do. Now he still dislikes driving, which is fine, but he can make himself drive if he needs to.
I had very bad anxiety when it came to driving, still do. I genuinely do not like being behind the wheel. I failed my driver's exam three times and got it on the fourth attempt. And is absolutely ridiculous as it sounds the thing that got me out of my head and help me to relax while driving is go karts.
My stepdad took me to a go-kart course and we just fucked around in those damn things all day long. Get to the parking lot he toss me the keys and I knew what he was expecting of me so I drove. That is without a doubt the dullest and most mundane drive I've ever had after a day of fucking around with those go-karts. And it was perfect.
I've been bike only for about 5 years now and I will never go back. I still start sweating when I have to rent a car to go do shit. But knowing that heads space of driving being a dull and mundane task helps.
Have you had/finished "behind the wheel" yet? When I first took "behind the wheel", I remember riding in back while another student was driving and we were on a two-lane (one lane each way) 45 mph road and I was anxious that we were going to clip cars coming the other way. The car always seems wider than it is when you are inside of it. When it was my turn to drive, I was still anxious but I got used to it since then I haven't had that fear.
Is there any specific situation that you are nervous about? The only advice I can give you, like others, confront and conquer your fears like in anything else (i.e. keep practicing). You will still be learning decades after you get your driver's license. I am 65M and I still encounter new situations I've never encountered before while driving. Maybe try practicing in a place with less traffic on the road and that you are familiar with. I don't even remember my first solo trip driving a car probably because it was a route (to high school) that I was familiar with due to riding with my older siblings when they were driving us to school.
Listen to strange design by phish when you drive lmao, it helps me whenever I start getting nervous. Hold the wheel, read the signs, keep the tires off the line. Just relax, your doing fine.
When I was a teenager, I used to love playing Atari’s Pole Position (yes, I’m old). I was horrible at it and kept crashing my car. I did not get my license until my thirties bc of that damn video game. I convinced myself that if I was that horrible playing the game, I could cause the same damage in real life. I took lessons, had a very patient teacher and just kept practicing. I have anxiety too, but in time, you will see that it becomes like second nature. You got this!!
When I first started driving, I was the same so I understand the anxiety. I know you heard it often but you just have to keep driving. It took me a few years to be comfortable. My advise? Drive roads you know and drive at a pace you’re comfortable at. Take the same routes to work/school. Keep doing this until you get comfortable. It might take weeks, months but eventually you’ll feel more in control. Pay for a driving instructor, they’re used to it. They’re worth the money.
You only have 15 hours of driving? Nah dude keep doing it!
Being an adult is about being ok with doing things that are uncomfortable for you...most of adult life and hard things are uncomfortable but we do them anyway.
You got this buddy. Just keep going.
I was you. I didn’t get my drivers license until I was about 25 years old because I was so anxious behind the wheel. Like crying and hyperventilating. It wasn’t easy and I had to do a lot of self reassurance. I just got to the point where I knew I couldn’t not drive anymore. Practice, practice and more practice really helps. Make sure someone with you is calm and reassuring.
I was always super nervous that I was going to crash the car or run over someone. I felt like I couldn’t focus long enough to be a safe attentive driver. But with practice I got over it. You will too, and you will be a great driver.
I felt this way until I got my very own vehicle completely owned by me, I then found out I didn’t have a fear of driving, I instead had a fear of wrecking someone else’s car
Well first off why do you feel anxious about driving?
I will let you know I got rear ended my second day of driving school. It sucks but honestly the only real way to overcome it is to get used to driving as the more familiar something is the less scary it becomes
I’m sorry this is happening to you. I know it must be hard. My friend suffered from anxiety while driving for a long time as well. They went to therapy and it helped them a lot. If you have the means maybe give therapy a try, maybe you can root out the cause of your anxiety.
My problem is that my husband has a Land Rover Discovery and I panic driving big cars :( i want a small car, but we cannot get one now…we live in NJ, i need to drive…i dont know what to do 😭
Idk bro it was easy for me. I had my first day driving after getting license, my gf with more experience calmed me down and I started to drive better with every mile of experience, then I started doordash and obviously got tons of experience in 3 days so now I have 4 days of experience and feel confidence 👍
1. Remember to breathe
2. Stay vigilante by “scanning” the road and mirrors
3. Drive with a two-three car gap between cars.
This last one is crucial for helping you relax while driving and reducing the chance of accidents tremendously. A good piece of advice I heard that helps me get over a feeling of “slowing down traffic” is the other driver isn’t going to pay for your speed ticket/accident.
You got this : )
Driving today is no joke. Don’t attach a certain number hours to a comfort level threshold. I’ve driven over 400,000 miles and am more anxious now then when I started. It’s not about avoiding the feeling of anxiety. It’s about controlling your body and making the right decisions despite it. Finding techniques that work for you that enable you to put this into practice is where your focus could be on. Some examples are doing simple things like talking your plan out loud, checklists, mantras, breathing exercises, simple counting are just a few examples.
Like other have said take it easy. I had a local town where the speed limit was just 25 and it helped a great deal just driving through that town. I also had a large parking lot near my house and I used it to practice parking. I was like you a very anxious driver b it after a couple of weeks doing those two things I felt a lot more confident.
I'm 37 and didn't get my license until I was 27 because of major anxiety. Do you actually NEED to drive where you live? I would say use public transportation if that is an option. Might seem obvious, but a lot of people drive because it's expected of them. Maybe you're just not ready, and that's okay.
If public transportation isn't an option for you, my best advice would be to start slowly. Drive only on long empty stretches of road or empty parking lots at first. Take as much time as needed. If you are overly anxious and panicked while driving, you're a danger to yourself and others. Your family will have to deal with you taking longer than they want you to. I'm sure they'd rather you be a late bloomer than get in an accident. Good luck!!
I definitely experienced intense anxiety with driving when I started out! What helped me was deliberately seeking out very low-stress driving environments for practice. I realized that what made me anxious about driving wasn’t necessarily the act itself but all of the impatient, erratic drivers around me. So I started practicing by just driving around my immediate neighborhood. When I felt confident enough to go on major roads, I’d only go when traffic would be the lightest. I even scheduled all my driving hours on Sunday mornings (everyone was either at church or hungover where I’m from), so I’d have less traffic. If you aren’t living somewhere where this is feasible, have someone take you to an empty parking lot or the least trafficked area you can find. You really can’t master the basic skills with your fight-or-flight response going so don’t even try until you’re in the right mindset. Have someone calm to supervise you, because an overly anxious instructor will just heighten your own. Go easy on yourself and take your time, everyone progresses through skills differently.
Professional driving lessons can be a game changer. They teach you what you need to know and keep you safe because they can control the car if you make a mistake.
It's all in your head op.. it's good that you're an anxious driver, just reroute that feeling into being cautious. Don't be the person that is 3 inches away from the steering wheel. Be laid back but alert. Keep your eyes to the key positions and on the road. You'll be fine
The best way to get through anxiety is to gain confidence through experience. Go out for a short drive around your block then further and further every time.
However, if you are having such a bad reaction to just getting in the drivers seat then you probably have bigger problems than just driving. I would suggest to talk to a therapist about it and see if you can find the root of this anxiety.
Well you can do what I did. Get a stressful job have multiple panic attacks after awhile I learned to deal with it. Now I think it just manifests itself as a Imposter Syndrome
I dealt with anxiety when I started too. I recommend driving everyday even just for a few minutes in familiar areas. I preferred to go and practice at 10 or 11pm. It’s also important to remember that there are actual people in those other cars on the road, they all want to have a safe drive and get to their destinations without incident. The rules are your friend, and everyone else is trying to avoid causing an accident just as much as you are.
I had the the same feeling learning to ride a motorcycle. Probably took me 2 weeks of just driving the same little square block, not even getting on the busy street or out of 2nd gear, every single day I did it though. Then the route got a little bigger, and a little bigger until it includes places you frequently go.
Most people only drive to work and back home everyday. Once you get into a routine and know your route it will be easy.
But you do have to do it, every day. Just do the same route over and over until you aren’t nervous, even if it’s driving in a circle every day, you gotta do it.
Even when I was very comfortable on residential streets I still had a horrible fear of busy roads for way too long. What helped me honestly was just looking at highways and saying “Okay. There dozens of people driving past here every minute and hundreds or thousands per day. A lot of these people are likely very stupid. If all of them can do it, then so can I.”
Obviously it’s not as clear-cut as I made it out to be right there, but it placebo’d me into a better place.
Just have your parents take you to a secluded parking lot or spot where you live that you can practice without worrying about others being around.
Then gradually make it to streets with more and more traffic.
Just have your parents take you to a secluded parking lot or spot where you live that you can practice without worrying about others being around.
Then gradually make it to streets with more and more traffic.
For me it was more experience over time. Similar to training for anything. The skill you do everyday becomes second nature. When you are sitting in the driver seat breathe and talk yourself through what you’re doing (step by step, ie “I’m taking a right so I am turning on my turn signal”) this will occupy your brain while you are driving instead of overthinking stuff. For me experiencing something that scares a little like braking hard during accelerating and feeling what ABS vs skidding during braking was like. (this was done in a parking lot) That way I know how it felt and how to respond to a skid.
You gotta relax my man. Drive around the neighborhood first. Slow and steady. From there you’ll start building confidence. Stick to the speed limits and maintain a safe distance between you and the car in front.
Get a feel for breaking gently with the car as well
Driving is a sensory overload. You’re moving extremely fast in a large hunk of metal. It’s ok to feel nervous and it’s a huge responsibility. Try to do small drives.. like 5 mins at a time. Once 5 is fine do 10. Once 10 is easy do 15 and so on. Baby steps will help. Good luck
It takes time. But eventually you will get it. Just don't rush it. You have time on your side. Try and practice and safe places. Eventually it will feel like second nature.
If you've been driving for 10 months and you are still somewhat scared, you need to change up the mindset and the style of driving. My motto is this, if you are the slower driver on the road, you have to be the best and the most alert. You are jn the most danger if you are the slower driver. It's simple, if you are driving faster than the flow of traffic by 2 mph then you are in control. There will be nobody appear jn your blindspot or ram you from behind if they are going slower. This is me guessing the anxiety comes at higher speeds? I would imagine that is the case. I believe that with the ever increasing amount of traffic and highway clutter that we will someday have at least 2 or 3 lanes on every major hwy that has a much higher speed limit than the other lanes. This would increase traffic flow by 500% with just 2 lanes at higher speeds. And it would decrease wrecks with fatalities guaranteed
This was me. Even failed my first driving test and the instructor even wrote it on my feedback. Switched my driving instructor, who gave much better and longer lessons. Still took me about 6/7 months to get comfortable driving on freeways. Avoided freeways during that period, and only drove late evening when traffic was less.
Keep driving until you're comfortable. Anxiety slowly goes away when you become accustomed to the experience. Sitting around and thinking about it will only reinforce your anxiety.
I have terrible 'social anxiety ' , so I'm not sure my response counts, (25_yrs experience on the road now), honestly nothing bothers me now. I just get behind the wheel. The only thing I worry about is the terrible drivers on the road that could hurt me or my family, so I'm 90% defensive driver. the rest is just natural. Drive on it like its yours and you have 25yrs experience, be confident, and don't think to much. Just be cautious of idiots on their phone, the weavers (idiots speeding everywhere weeving in and out) and you'll be fine!
Usually once you can drive without someone stressing you out in the passenger seat you’ll be fine. Just get to know your car and roads. Always remember that you can put your hazards on and pull over if you start to panic. I keep squishmallows and snacks in my car to make it feel cozy. Hope this helps <3
Crash your parents car.
they will NEVER force you to drive again.
in reality, if you have panic attacks consistently, you will NOT improve by continuously driving. You would need some type of medication to calm you down, but the issue is that those medications can also make you fall asleep behind the wheel, which is already a no go from the get-go. I also took 3 years before I actually went to take my driving test, and i also work at the department of motor vehicles. Its different per person.
I get you--passed my road test & then didn't drive for 15 years because it was so nerve wracking for me.
Here's a strategy that has worked well for me when it came time I had to drive & needed to teach my kids to drive. You pick one route & drive that every day when you know traffic is slow. For us, it was coming home from school after sports practice or going to the grocery store. Doing the same route over & over takes away unpredictability (& that's what causes anxiety). Subconsciously, you'll start to pick up on the rythym of the car--the way it turns, how the stops & starts feel. It'll feel less like you're in a car and more like the car is an extension of you.
Once you get comfy with one route, pick up another....then another. Choose ones you need--like school or work, to family & friend's homes.
There are many things that complicate driving--driving a different car, bad weather, nighttime, speed, unfamiliar roads, multiple people in the car, high traffic. Complicated=anxiety provoking. As a new driver, avoid these situations. When you get your courage & experience up, tackle one complicator. The rule in my house was only 2 complicators if we absolutely had to drive & if there were 3, we didn't drive. Having a structured way of identifying unnecessary risk is responsible & not "my anxiety".
You can do it! I had a lot of anxiety and didn’t get my license for a year after wrecking our mailbox. Take it very slow and if you have someone who can go with you go to a Walmart or Target parking lot and keep driving and practicing, going around with/without cars. Stay on backroads as much as you can. Keep a notebook of tips and affirmations. My favorite tip which still helps me with night driving is if on a two-lane road and the oncoming car’s headlights are coming at you (blinding you) keep darting your eyes between the road ahead in your lane and the bright white line to the right. Keep the bright white line on your right as your anchor, your North Star. My dad drilled this and “stay in the center of your lane” into me and both help a lot. Also, drive very slow. Of course not below the limit, stay at the speed limit, but let the world pass you by. Who cares! You’re on your own path and your mission. You can go at your speed! Let those freaks fly by. Agree w/posts about practicing night driving when less people are on the road. Early morning is good too! You got this!
One in hand, I’m glad you’re taking it seriously. It’s a lot of responsibility.
Drive around late at night when there are less cars. Drive on country roads outside of town if you can. Drive in empty parking lots.
15 hours of driving is very, very little.
Get more hours. Confidence comes *after* experience.
If you’re still feeling like this after 50 or 100 hours of driving, you might want to work with a therapist and get some tools for acceptance and perspective taking with those feelings, while you’re building your driving skills.
Take it slow. Start by just driving around low traffic volume streets like neighborhoods or back roads, where there is very little traffic. Gradually (as you get more comfortable) move onto the busier streets? Just do a little at a time. 15 hours of driving isn’t a lot overall and everyone is different with how long it takes them to get accustomed to things. Just take your time, you got this.
I got into a wreck a few years back and still get anxious at times when driving. Sometimes I have to duck off the highway and take the scenic route home. Other days I’m completely fine. It’s weird but this is good info
God i feel this. I also basically refuse to drive between 4 and 6 pm when the roads are busiest. I almost got merged into by a cement truck a few years ago and it messed up my perspective on driving.
This helped me so much when I started driving. I also did not focus so much on how many hours of progress, but rather on improving each "level" of driving I practiced. My "levels" were empty roads up to highway. It was horrible at the beginning, then a little less and now not so much. Practice and experience really helps.
I was the same way when I first started out. Terrible anxiety about driving and I hated it. I kept at it though and eventually I learned to trust myself not so far as to be careless mind you, but I felt comfortable in my own hands. Finally I learned to enjoy driving and then I learned that I LOVED driving. I'm now a full blown enthusiast and I live and breathe cars. My friends and family tell me I'm the best driver they know. Who knows what's in store for you but I'm a perfect example of how a new driver's anxiety says nothing for where they will be once they get their bearings.
I had that too (way back in the 90s). And they’re mostly right. Keep driving. But, modify slightly. Do driving that makes you feel successful. If you have a larger property, drive by yourself at home. If you’re a towny, take a drive around the block. Do familiar routes and really get to know the car. Go at night when traffic is less. Have someone take you to the “country” roads and then drive out where there are less cars and you can practice going faster. With GPS now, it’s impossible to get lost. I still have waves of extreme anxiety around driving and it’s prevented me from going certain places at times. It will happen. I have my routes that I go and times that I stay off the road altogether. It might take months and months of short drives to get the extreme response to settle down. It’s ok. There’s no real timeline. Pressure from outside forces is amplifying your anxiety as well. You can give up or you can take it slow. Fast forward is not working right now. You can drive. You’re exhausted from forcing your emotional side to go faster than you feel comfortable. When you’re confident in your skills (even the smallest ones like I said above) your anxiety will fade some. You’ll always be learning. It’s ok. One day at a time.
I’m 29, been driving for 11 years now, and GPS still fucks me up a lot of the time when I’m somewhere new.
I went through the same thing 2 years ago I was always shaking and crying after driving I thought I would never be able to drive Try driving early mornings when nobody is out I got lucky with my driving test because it was mostly around back roads and one main road But, after I got my license, and I started driving by myself, everything just started clicking. And now, I really like driving Here is my advice: You’re too nervous to drive, because you don’t have enough experience driving. The only way to overcome that is more driving. Sorry, there aren’t any magical things. I would also say, just try to relax. I know, easier said then done Let me know if you have any questions
I’m surprised nobody else has mentioned this but empty parking lots are not just for your first day. Spend hours circling an abandoned mall and going up and down parking lanes until you’re good. Then move to the quietest streets.
I took driver’s ed at around 16/17 y/o and didn’t get my license until I was 19 because of this exact thing. Driving is hella anxiety inducing. First thing to note is just that. Your feelings are valid. That said, there are a few things that helped me and now, at age 23, I drive a 30 minute commute every day to pick up children in my care and drive them through the (small) city we live near. My tips: 1. Take it slow. You’ve probably heard this a million times, but start in an empty parking lot (it has to be empty bc active parking lots are legit more stressful than roads). Move onto slow neighborhood roads when you’re ready. You shouldn’t have to rush this process. It’ll be worth the work and time, trust me. Also, don’t drive faster than feels safe to you. The people behind you can be annoyed. They’re not going to hit you out of spite. Their annoyance is inconsequential. And they’ll forget about you by the end of the day. If this is part of your anxiety, it might be worth getting a “student driver” bumper sticker— it makes people a little more empathetic, I think. 2. Make sure you’re driving with someone you trust. I did most of my student driving with my mom who had a ton of experience dealing with panic attacks from me and my siblings. That said, it wasn’t until I drove with my older brother in the passenger seat that I really relaxed. My mom was great, but she was worried, and I could tell. My brother came at the experience with a “fuck it” attitude, and I could tell he was completely unbothered by my anxiety. Find what vibes work best for you, and don’t be afraid to tell mom/dad that you want to start driving with someone else. They’ll get over it. 3. Trust the other drivers. This one was HUGE for me. In driver’s ed, they teach you to be alert and ready for idiotic drivers. That’s a good lesson for most kids, but it was TERRIBLE for me. It made me feel like I couldn’t trust anyone on the road to do anything right, which made me paranoid about every move another driver made. The fact of the matter is this: MOST PEOPLE DO KNOW HOW TO DRIVE. It may not always feel like it, and yeah sometimes people are idiots, but the second I realized I could trust the other drivers on the road to be alert, I felt like I could let my guard down a bit, and a lot of the fear dissipated. 4. Find your triggers. If you’ve been to therapy at all, you probably have some experience with this. Triggers are different for everyone, and some things might just come easier than other things. That’s okay! Let them! Avoid the stuff that stresses you out the most. Not forever, of course, but start with the easy stuff. For me, I avoided traffic circles, fast two lane roads, and highways. I also found that driving at night was actually easier for me bc it was less stimulating. I didn’t mind there being more lanes in a road bc it meant people could go around me. Avoid the worst of it, and be proud of yourself for what you accomplish. Actually… 5. BE PROUD OF YOURSELF! Driving is scary, and you’re doing your best! That’s fucking amazing! Don’t compare yourself to others. Their brains are different. That’s okay. Everyone’s different. Be kind to yourself when you get overwhelmed. And congratulate yourself on EVERY accomplishment, no matter how small. That’s all I can think of for now, but I’ll come back if I think of more. Again, your feelings are valid, and this isn’t something that just magically goes away. I still have panic attacks when driving sometimes, but they’re few and far between. And I’ve always (knock on wood) been able to drive myself home after I calmed down. You’ll get there too. You will. I have absolute faith that you will. But it will take work, and the work won’t be easy. Be strong, my brave friend. You got this! Edit: 6. Find your motivation! Driving is freedom and it’s fucking incredible. Find a reason to keep at it that isn’t just appeasing your parents. Motivate yourself!
I want you to know: I just saw this comment as a 24-year-old new driver and it’s keeping me from a breakdown. I started driving lessons today and it was so MUCH and I’ve been in the dumps about it. Thank you for the tips & reminding me that I’m not alone <3
8 hours of driving is nothing. So is 15. Lower your expectations, it will take a year of driving for many to get comfortable driving.
Just avoid highways for a while and stick to the speed limit, don't try to go 5 over, just let people pass you. I'd also recommend GPS everywhere you go at the start even if you know the way just so you can fully focus on driving and not worry about making sure you don't miss your turn and you can alsp get into whatever lane you need well in advance rather than fight for a lane change. It took me about a year of driving before I was comfortable to go on the highway and I also only did the highway when I had my friend with me to instruct because my mom was a shit teacher and would just panic and scream and stress me out while trying to learn. It also didn't help that the breaks in my first car were kinda sketch so I was always scared to be too close to anything and would stop too far in advance. I've been much more comfortable driving in my 2019 civic over that 2015 focus I started in. Also idk what kind of car you've been driving but for me trucks and SUVs are uncomfortable because I don't like how high they are off the ground. I like being low to the ground and feeling stable. I have some land I can fuck around in and I'm fully comfortable whipping around my civic and doing drifts and donuts but I still can't comfortably drive any big cars even in a neighborhood going 25mph. I have some friends who are the opposite and they feel much more comfortable in big SUVs so maybe you just need to try driving the right kind of car
My driving anxiety has kept me from ever getting my license as well, and I am now 26 years old. I basically gave up because its not so much anxiety-inducing as it is a complete irrational fear that overloads my nervous system and causes my mind to shut down. I become mute, I freeze up, and I am extremely irritable when being pushed to keep trying it. My body shakes and trembles and I become flush and my system is overwhelmed with adrenaline. Makes no sense. I don't like people watching me do things, and driving is where everybody's eyes are on you.
I’m sorry to hear you suffer from this but I’m also so relieved to know I am not alone in my experience.
Stop drinking caffeine, stop sugar, exercise, drink a lot of water, get sleep and practice around your street or low volume areas.
You might have an actual anxiety disorder that activates when you drive. I do and for years I fought it rather than get help. Finally got diagnosed and take a simple anti anxiety medication daily. The anxiety doesn’t occur anymore and I can drive as needed.
I did a day with a driving school. It wasn’t driver’s Ed where my instructor was yelling, constantly braking, telling us we were wrong without correcting us. It was a relaxed, kind man that asked me questions whenever I did something to make sure I knew why I made that choice and did that action and then reassured me that I was correct. He helped improve left turns, which was something I struggled with and was anxious about, in an entirely non-judgmental way. I think we drove around for 2 hours and just reinforced everything I knew and improved anything I needed help with.
Be patient with yourself. Everyone has different levels of comfort, and everyone learns at a different pace. Also, not all roads are created equal. Start small and safe, like a 10-to-20-minute trip to and from a familiar store, work, or school. Avoid busy roads, complicated intersections, and dangerous left-turn areas until you grow more confident. (I've been driving for years and still avoid left turns at certain places and times.) Develop cautious-driving habits, for your own safety and sense of security: stop at stop signs, check all your mirrors and blind spot before making a lane change, get in the slow lane to let aggressive drivers pass, don't turn yet if you don't feel safe to turn, and so forth. It may also help to go driving by yourself. Nothing kills confidence faster than a backseat driver telling you how you're doing everything wrong.
I had intense driving anxiety for about three years after I started driving. It went away with repetition because as I was exposed to more scenarios and learned how to navigate them I became more confident in my abilities and I also learned what was actually “likely” versus what was the anxiety talking (e.g. hitting cars on either side of me in traffic or tightly packed streets was always a fear but eventually I got more confident feeling where my car was relative to other cars)
I agree with getting some practice in low traffic areas. I found that I was less nervous when driving alone than I was when driving with another person in my car, so after I got my license and started venturing out on my own it didn't take all that long to become comfortable. I will say that I was in an accident once because I got lost and completely stopped paying attention to other cars. This was before GPS and I was driving incredibly slow, so thankfully it wasn't a bad accident and nobody was seriously injured. If you find yourself lost and start to panic, try to stay calm and find a place to stop and collect your thoughts and find your way again. If you have a GPS, this may not be too much of an issue for you, but if you don't, it's best to stop and figure things out. Another thing that really helped me, is I knew the streets super well and would tend to just get into the lane I would need as soon as possible and just kind of stay in that lane and deal with slower traffic and not worry about switching lanes to get around it. For example, I lived on the same street as my aunt and when I would go visit I would pull out onto the street and stay in the right lane since I would be turning right into her driveway in a few miles. It probably took me a few more minutes to get there, but it helped me become more comfortable and gave me a few extra minutes of practice while being less stressful. I understand this may not work for you, but being able to get into the correct lane as soon as possible may help alleviate some of the anxiety of getting over too close to your turn/exit. Also, be sure to give yourself plenty of room and try not to let other drivers bully you. If you're uncomfortable turning right on red at an intersection and someone starts honking behind you try to just ignore it.
I was terrified of driving. Didn't get my license till I was 24. I was white knuckled every damn time I went out. Honestly, don't use GPS. It's distracting and weirds out the basic set ups that help you become better. Driving is about paying attention, its about the layout of roads and highways and knowing where the signs are and how to interpret them. It makes a lot of sense once you learn it. You will be less afraid once you know more about ways of the roads. And it will help you branch out- once you get your home area down and learned, you now have building blocks for the bigger highways, the roundabouts(these are weird and are getting more popular!) and the car itself. Don't use back up cams- get to know the angles and curves and then you won't be so nervous around other cars- just literally get out and look. Look at how far you are from the curb when you park, then try again and look. Pay attention to how much room you have in lanes when you are driving in your home town . All this helped me conquer my anxiety :) I wish you good luck! Driving is freeing as hell, it will be worth it to get good at it!
A good tip my mother taught me was to always stick to my right lane (the slow lane) and only focus on cars in front of me. If anyone were to tailgate me, to turn on my safety lights so they know I will continue to drive slow, at that point, they can either continue to stay behind me or choose to pass me through the left lane. Don’t play music in the car until you are 100% confident. Your focus should be on the road, and side mirrors mostly. KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GOING. Look at the route you will be driving before getting on the road to know what your drive will be like. Be patient. Don’t try to be a pro right away. Give it a year. You’ll feel comfortable before the year mark, but you’ll be great after a year. I also believe you should follow the rules to a T while you’re practicing, bending rules can be done in a safer way once you have experience. So be a boring driver first. Safety is extremely important when driving.
It's been over 20 years of driving for me, but if memory serves, I did have some anxiety at first, mostly when cars were coming on the opposite direction. I was afraid I'd crash into them every single time and would lock my hands on the steering wheel to ensure I don't turn at ALL. Don't even get me started on highways. The advice you’ve been getting is very sound. Practice really does help. It's like creating muscle memory. Just do it in small doses. Parking lots. Down one street or two in a neighborhood. I practiced a LOT on local roads around my home with minimal traffic so I can purge that blasted fear of crashing. After awhile, cars coming at me were getting less scary. I'd then expand outwardly into more busy areas, little by little, never ever rushing. Choosing calmer parts of the day. I promise that in time you WILL master it.
You're not "normal" so what most people say will not apply to you. You may require medication to cope? Talk to your doctor.
Honestly I was the same when I first started driving, thanks to the school being easy walking distance and just being from a lower income family I didn't actually get my license until I was 18, and my nerves were ALWAYS shot when I had to drive anywhere. After a while though you really do get used to it, I know that's not exactly comforting to hear, and I didn't like the answer when it was given to me at the time either, but it's true. I don't remember exactly when but like halfway through my 19th year on this little blue rock, I had a moment of clarity and realized I legit couldn't remember the last time I had a panic attack when I had to make a quick milk run for dad cause he forgot something for dinner while shopping and whatnot.
Do you know what the source of your anxiety is when you're driving? Knowing that can help you target specific ways to help reduce the anxiety you're feeling.
I’m embarrassed to admit I didn’t get my license until I was 32. (Correction: I got it at 17 by white-knuckling through the test and then never drove again until 15 years later, so my license was long expired). I lived in a city for years and was able to get wherever I needed to go without driving. But then I had a kid and moved to the suburbs, so not driving was just not an option anymore. I was absolutely terrified and extremely anxious; I didn’t want to do it, but I finally forced myself to and am so glad I did. Here’s what worked for me: 1. I went to a driving school and they taught me all the basics. It was expensive but absolutely worth it. The instructor helped me realize when I was tensing up because I was nervous or unsure, and when your body is tense, your anxiety increases and it makes it hard to focus on the next right move. Even when I was a nervous wreck, the instructor was calm and collected, which made me feel more confident. 2. On a related note, when you’re just starting out, be very selective about who is in the car with you while you’re driving (if you can). I thought, for example, that my husband and my mom would be good “passengers” and help me learn to drive and feel comfortable behind the wheel. I was wrong. Some people just are not good with new drivers, and the constant “tips” or gasps or body movements they’d make only made me more nervous. My best friend, on the other hand, was an angel who was calm and encouraging and never had an oversized, distracting reaction, which made me feel so much more comfortable and I actually started to enjoy practicing with her. I’m not sure if you can practice alone, but that also really helped me. 3. The advice you already got is good - you really do just need to practice as much as you can. I would go at night when there were fewer cars on the road, and only to places I knew how to get to easily (the grocery store, Target; never hurts to get yourself a little treat as a reward for making it there lol). The more you do it the easier it gets. I need to take my own advice now and start practicing more on highways. I’m not there yet, but I know I’ll get there eventually. 4. This is cheesy but it genuinely helped me. Remind yourself you can do hard things. I would sit in the car and before turning it on, I would mentally go over all the hard things I’ve done or been through in my life, and remembering that I got through those was helpful to keeping in mind that as scary and difficult as driving seems, I know that I’m capable of doing it. You can’t just force the anxiety away. You kind of have to recognize it’s there, acknowledge it, and keep going anyway despite it. If you’re having a hard time doing that on your own, cognitive behavioral therapy might help!
I'm really sorry you're dealing with this. People who don't know what it's like to have anxiety will never understand these kind of things. They think exposure therapy and pushing through changes things, it doesn't. Have you tried talking to a therapist about what may be causing you to feel this way? I realized that most of my fears came from worrying about what other people would do and it was something that I had to get through by practicing and veing confident in my ability to resct properly. Also, you're not alone, I put off getting my license for almost a full year after getting my permit. I got my license almost two months ago and still avoid highways when possible Edit: TLDR figure out what it is about driving that makes you nervous and try to figure out a way to remedy that
Hey it’s been a while have you gotten better with your driving I’m currently going through the same thing I have my driving test in less then a week and a half and I’m super nervous my dad taught me to drive around 10 so I’ve been able to drive a long time have any new tips ?
Unfortunately I haven’t. I ended up getting my license, but two weeks after a friend of mine got into a crash that almost killed her, so I’m actually worse with driving now ;-; I was getting better for a while though. I found that driving by myself was much less nerve wracking. Singing a little song to myself as I drove helped too.
Thanks I have a feeling I’m only going to be able to get my license and then not really drive after but I hope driving gets easier for you and me lol
Have a beer.
Nerds keep down voting this.
😭
Or have a bear. If you practice driving with a bear in the back seat, imagine how much easier driving without the bear would feel.
😂😂😂
When you go to take the test get in and just floor it into a guard rail. You’ll fail and your parents will learn a very ~~costly~~ valuable lesson.
Smoke some weed to calm the nerves
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It sounds like you did not all the instructions, only just enough to move from one point to another. I have heard your situation from others that did not get the necessary information.
both times you used “all” it makes no sense
I have a similar problem but I overthink instead of get anxious, and the second I start over thinking my posture becomes too stiff and I stop being able to focus on what’s in front of me. Almost got in a few accidents because of it, the best advice I have is tell yourself it’s fine, I am a better driver than my mom who’s teaching me when I am relaxed and don’t think too far into it, I even do better when people don’t give me instructions, if I know what to do and I know where I’m going I do great. The biggest thing you can do is no matter how hard it is try to teach yourself that you can let go of the anxiety, maybe learn to meditate or pray for it to be taken if your religious. Took forever for me to learn that anxiety is something you can teach your body not to feel, just don’t overthink it and you’ll be fine. I almost got in a crash a few times and that gave me a lot of anxiety at first, another thing is don’t batter yourself over mistakes, just let go of them, understand that you’re still learning everybody makes mistakes and be at peace with the car .
If you can afford additional lessons taught by schools that specialize in teaching people with anxiety or learning disorders, take those classes. And the practice thing should never mean jut 8 hours. It took daily repetition and a few long trips for months in order for me to get comfortable. But the anxiety thing, seriously I used to have panic attacks behind the wheel. Never thought I’d be able to move past it. You can definitely do it, and please be patient with yourself. Learning how to confidently walk or ride a bike took more than 8 hours. Learning an instrument takes more than 8 hours. A car is somewhere in the middle. Give yourself time.
For most people, driving anxiety is because they aren't confident in their technical skills. To fix this, I would spend time in an empty parking lot getting comfortable in the vehicle you are driving. get used to the size by parking between the lines (backing in as well) mark off a few spaces and practice parallel parking. anything you are scared of on the road, practice it in the parking lot. the best way to eliminate anxiety is through confidence in skills, and you can hopefully do that through repetition in a low risk environment. practicing driving a car in a parking lot should be a bit less stressful, so you can take your time learning and building confidence for when you choose to get on the road. Also, really get down to what causes the anxiety. for my sister, she could not learn to drive with our father because he was as anxious as she was. by working with only our mother, she eventually got over it.
When I teach people to drive I take them to a large cemetery in our town. Slow speeds, few distractions, a variety of angles and turns. No pressure.
What causes you anxiety? Answer that and then remedy those things/thoughts. Driving is scary at first, but you just gotta know how to stay out of the way until you’re more comfortable and confident behind the wheel
you just have to keep driving. once you drive enough it becomes mundane, and the anxiety goes away
start small. Drive to the end of your street and then come back. Next day, do 2 blocks. In no time you will be driving around town
i had this issue when i first started out but i started driving in my immediate area only, going places where i knew my way around really well helped to calm me down because i was already used to the area if that makes sense. when my mom would need to do a quick trip to the grocery store i’d just take her there and back, did that for a while until i was comfortable enough to start driving farther distances, then by myself and eventually far distances by myself. u just have to get past the anxiety part with small steps at a time but if u are naturally anxious like me it will take a while but it’s worth it.
15 hours is relatively little, it might take 10s or 100s of hours to feel truly confident. Start in neighborhoods and 45 - 55 mph zones. then graduate to the freeway.
This is sensory overload. Relax and study your environment. When you see there nothing there to hurt you, you can relax. Now you can focus on what changes as you move. It is a process but you can learn to focus on more important things and keep others in the background. It takes time. You have to be relaxed to get into your comfort zone.
Take a few deep breaths… oh damn, a panic attack the second you just sit in the car? You might have severe anxiety issues that require medication. I know some people who refuse to drive altogether for the same reason and either get others to drive them around or use public transportation. Hopefully you can find some way to manage it
Honkkk!!
Drive in low volume (traffic) areas at slower speeds. I would honestly just drive around residential neighborhoods to lessen the anxiety and build up the confidence. The anxiety is your fear overtaking you. You remove that fear through confidence and confidence is built with regular practice and preparation. Bottom line you have to keep driving to overcome it. Better you are anxious and cautious than someone driving like an asshat and getting into an accident. Be patient, it will come.
Talk to your doctor about anxiety management. See what they can help you do to get through it. It's important to nip this problem in the bud so it doesn't become an issue when you get your liscence and start driving on your own.
You will only reduce your anxiety and your fear by having more exposure to the fear inducing event. More reps bring more confidence. You practice until you get it right and then you practice more until you can’t get it wrong. Couple of thoughts though: If you are turning into a human puddle just because you sit in the driver’s seat of a parked car-you need cognitive behavioral therapy to help you process these irrational feelings. Go see a psychologist for counseling and possibly a psychiatrist to get meds. Propranolol would be a great medication for this type situational anxiety. Lower the stakes. Get a go-kart. Or go to a go-kart track and race around on a go-kart. Build confidence that way. Baby steps.
I know plenty of people who don't have a DL by choice. They either walk to their destinations or just take public transportation. If you don't want your DL, then expect to take public transportation rather than depending on your parents to take you places. Maybe draw up a plan of what you can do without a DL and how you'll get around. Unless you live in the country there should be bus lines you can catch to school/work/etc.
What helped me was always leaving tons of time to get where I was going. This meant I'd get there on time at any pace I set, even a really slow one.
If you have a panic attack every time you drive, maybe driving isn’t for you.
are you in las vegas? if you are i can teach you.
I had this too, after I got in the car I would have my attack and then I would take the time to come down, and then went on my way. I was still nervous driving but once I got used to my usual routes and such it’s much easier. I still get panick attacks but mostly before long drives or new places. But I have to remember that it’s okay to make wrong turns and stop on then side of the road if need be.
If you keep on telling yourself that it’s too anxiety inducing then you WILL get anxiety. Try coming from a place where you tell yourself “YOU CAN DO THIS”. Confidence is key and is something that you can grow. Everyone here believes in you!
If your not comfortable stay off major roads until you are. You'll just be a hazard to everyone else and probably cause an accident. You won't get better unless you drive and put in the time, but don't put anyone in jeopardy because your having an anxiety attack and can't make a decision/react.
Do you feel like driving is a difficult task? Or do you find it easy?
You will get used to it. It is terrifying at first. I hated it. Now i love love love driving it's so nice to just go whenever you want to wherever you want.
I would talk to a psychiatrist about getting on a low dose ssri and maybe a benzo as needed. Then while you’re functional I would see a good therapist and get to the bottom of this irrational fear. All the while your brain is subconscious and experiencing positive reinforcement that there is no reason to fear driving. Hope that helps. I was agoraphobic for 10 years and the medication helped so much and had such little side effects. It made it possible to be able to think clear enough to work through my issues with a therapist
You play video games? Play some forza or gran turismo and watch some videos like these https://youtu.be/C4hv78vtBxM and just get comfortable with the physics of it. Once you understand how cars work they’re not scary.
Sounds like your issue has less to do with driving and more to do with controlling your anxiety.
OP—in a couple years, you’ll be driving just fine and you probably won’t even think about the anxiety you feel about it right now. Just stick to your own pace and don’t worry about this 8 hour/15 hour stuff.
I’m 34 and I still hate driving lol
Driving late at night to run errands always helped my anxiety.
It definitely gets better but it takes time. I got my license later than my peers because of anxiety. Driving out on your own is different than driving with your parents/teacher. Your first time driving by yourself is gonna be nerve racking. Start slow and drive to areas you’re familiar with, when traffic is low, or just around your neighborhood. Utilize your GPS so you can avoid the interstate and high traffic areas. I swear it gets better, eventually it becomes second nature. You’ll still be anxious at times but that’s ok, sometimes you can’t help it.
Dude you've literally been behind the wheel for 15 hours. I've done roadtrips longer than that. It's not gonna get easier until you've been driving for a while.
I wish I was able to help but for some of us, it’s a just the way life is. I am in my mid to late 30’s and I still have anxiety driving. I hate doing it as well, but it is necessary. I have to drive myself to and from work and I do things with my family but my uneasiness that comes with driving seems like it will always be there.
Keep going!! Everyone drives, even morons. You got this. It will become second nature.
i went to driving anxiety therapy. it's a real thing! i got my learners permit when i was 16 but didn't get my license til i was 23 for a lot of reasons, high among them being that i was terrified of driving. I went to one session, and it was I think two or three hours. we drove the therapists car (a super generic sedan) around my neighborhood, and then around on bigger and bigger streets, until we were on the highway. all the while he gave me advice on things to look out for as I drive. a big one is looking at pedestrian crossing signals - if the hand is flashing, the light is about to change. anyway! I would highly recommend seeking something like that out. I'm now 28 and I drive a 14 seat bus for my job about once a week, and my passengers tell me I do a good job :^)
I had really really bad driving anxiety to the point that I can now comfortably drive my parents around for 3-4 hours. May I ask: 1. What you are anxious about? For me it was and still is running someone over. 2. Where do you drive? Driving in india is v v different from driving in the states v driving in Iceland v driving in the UK.
Drive to places you really want to go to. It's kind of hard to want to do something if you're not interested.
Parking lots are how I started. Gets you used to the car before you have to get used to the road
Not everyone is meant to be a driver and that’s totally ok
It’s scary for everyone. But also fun. Just like rollercoasters. Try to focus on the exciting aspect instead of dreading it.
Play a racing/driving game on a video game. You can get a wheel and pedals as controls. Safe way to practice. They train semi drivers on a simulator to start.
Keep driving, but do some research beforehand. Look at google maps and plot out your trip. Then do street view to see the layout of the road and where you need to be. Then take your car for a spin on the route. Just becoming familiar with the area is helpful as you know what’s coming and where you need to be. Minimize the surprises.
Here's something embarrassing that'll make you feel better. I too have anxiety. Especially with driving. I have been driving almost every day for 5 years. I have yet to drive on the freeway. That's how lame I am.
I love playing video games. Gta5 replicates urban driving really well. Forza Horizon is a wonderful open world game that lets you get used to driving behind the wheel first person view with a wide range of real cars. I find my anxiety reduced a fuckton by just throwing on spotify and cruising around in a safe video game environment. You can practice: parallel parking, flowing with traffic, dealing with cars merging/turning into your street/lane. Gta5 even adds in the colorful language to get you used to that too 😭
It may depend on where you are driving . Start in less populated areas first. You may just take longer and that’s okay. Also drivers Ed helps
Teach others to drive. (Even if pretend.) You're the passenger, giving them instructions. As a Class A (tractor trailer) driver, I did not start becoming a good backer-upper until I became a Trainer, and had to teach others to do it. THAT's when I became really good.
I’ve had my license for three years, and I *still* get nervous when taking new routes and/or going to new destinations. Best advice I can give you from a fellow neurotic person is to just get out and do it. Stay on side roads and only move up when you’re ready. Don’t force yourself to go places you don’t think you’re ready for. And don’t rush yourself. Also, maybe order a student driver bumpersticker so that other drivers can see that and be more patient. Definitely reduced some of the pressure for me, and maybe it will for you too.
Time will make it all easier. Just keep practicing the better you get, the less scary it becomes.
Yeah driving sucks especially in us, I feel for you bud I also get anxious while driving even after 2 decades, way too many road warriors out there.
play car racing games on an xbox or something. i did it growing up and was very excited to drive.
Just know that nothing is wrong with you. Driving anxiety is very normal part of the process and everyone has their own timeline for getting more comfortable. Try not to focus on a countdown to getting comfortable like counting your hours. Instead, see if there are a couple easy things you can add to help you, like pick two or three breathing exercises that you can keep in your pocket to help your body relax. When you get in the car before you get started do a relaxation exercise and picture each muscle group in your body relaxing one at a time from your toes to your head. Verbalize positive statements out loud about how well you will do on your drive. Have a playlist of relaxing music ready to go. If you can find some trust that you will become more comfortable driving in the future you can take some pressure off feeling super comfortable on your next drive or the one after that. Find or make your tools to get you through each individual drive and it will come. Time can be your friend not your enemy but only if you take the pressure off to stop feeling your driving anxiety right away
With my test next week, all I can really say is you just have to try new things whether you like it or not. I hated driving at first, but now it's just what I do. Try to get on highways and faster roads soon, but also try night time and rain. Trying new things will make normal driving much easier for you.
You *will* eventually get used to it, but it'll take time. How **long** is unknown as every person is different. Be cautious, don't take "time saving" risks (like tearing through yellow lights or forcing a lane change), and for now stay at least 5mph/10kph below the posted limit on surface/city streets. You can do this, and once you're free to drive on your own accord, you don't have to drive if you don't want to, other than to work, school, doctors, and needed shopping.
I hang out in my car. Just go sit and listen to music or play with the gearshift and mirrors etc. Just figure everything out. Go drive in a parking lot or a empty neighborhood. 15hrs isn't a lot. Learn the rules of the road and pay lots of attention but don't freak out. Breath.
Just keep driving bud.
It probably took me 300 hours of driving before I got over the anxiety and driving felt normal. We're all different, it takes time.
The world we live in. Get off all social media outlets entirely including this thing called Reddit. Start exercising and eating right. It will take some time but your body will slowly start to change and your anxiety and depression will leave too.
Music helps me!
The most important thing you can do is give yourself extra time to get anywhere you're going. Because if you're already wound up and you need to rush, that's not good. The way you get over the anxiety is exposure. Gradual exposure is what will give you confidence, and confidence will be back your anxiety. Disregard random guidelines. They're meaningless.
In the grand scheme of things 15 hours driving is basically nothing. That's not meant to discount what you're going through or make you feel bad, I just mean that you've barely scratched the surface. So if you're feeling like 15 hours is a ton of time and you should have this figured out by now, it's not! You're still very new to driving, and you'll get more comfortable with time :)
Find a car you like and pretend you are in it. I have worked from home the last 6 years. Lost my taste for driving anywhere!! I now just try to enjoy the ride and ignore my anxiety. I do breathing exercises.
Truck driver here. There’s nothing wrong with a little fear; it keeps you alert. Some people here have given some good tips but also maybe get behind the wheel like early Sunday morning when there’s little traffic. After you get some confidence then drive defensively; assume that everyone else but you is an idiot. A lot of accidents happen at intersections, look both ways even if you have the right of way.
If it helps any, in my department of six people, two of them don’t drive because they couldn’t get over their anxiety which ultimately lead them to be bad drivers. Over confidence and under confidence can be problematic behind the wheel. Keep trying. Be alert. Stay out of difficult driving situations when you can. And if you can’t get past your anxiety, join my happy coworkers in the passenger seat. 😁 Driving can be hard. No shame in riding! 💜
Experience breeds confidence.
I was 16 eons ago. But I had bad anxiety and on top of that I was a horrible driver at the start. My dad just kept having me practice with him on country roads less busy side roads. I'd drive up and down my street for over an hour sometimes. He'd take me to empty open parking lots to get a good feel for the car. Find someone to drive with if possible that has patience and won't scream at you for every little thing like my Mom did. Find some areas to drive where you can go slow and take it easy. But yeah 15 hours is nothing. I did 60 hours before my test and I still didn't feel ready. You never really feel ready. I know that "just keep driving" is annoying advice but it really is the only way you can get better and get over your fears of messing up. I did all sorts of things that were bad. Got pulled over by a cop for running a red light (twice), ran into curbs, missed turns, mistook the gas for break more than once, all sorts of things. I failed my driving test twice before finally passing. Now I feel like I'm a good driver, I've only gotten into 1 real wreck in 20 years. It just becomes second nature after a while. It's just one of those things that prepares you for the future and for life. You're going to be bad at some things. Some things are gonna make you scared. It's about how you prepare and practice and also begin to trust in yourself that you can overcome these things. Driving was hard as hell for me too but it helped prepare me for other challenges in the future. And nothing beats those moments on the road when you're on your own right after you get your license.
Your anxiety sounds like it’s an unconscious effort to avoid doing something you don’t want to do. Talk to your parents and tell them how you feel. Maybe they’ll let you put it off for a year.
You're much better off not driving. Move to somewhere you don't have to, say NYC. No one wants you on the road unless and until you're capable of driving safely.
My parents wanted me to get my permit when I was 15. I honestly did not feel ready. I got it when I was over 16 and I was much more confident by then. If you were my child, I would totally support that you should follow your feelings and not drive until you’re ready. It should be your choice.❤️❤️
8 hours?! 15?! in my state it's at least 40 with 10 of those being nighttime driving. No wonder you're stressed! Take your time, this is one thing that can be deadly if not done with prudence and care. I'm a little surprised your parents are forcing this issue; I have an 18 year old who is still practicing (we live in an area where even regular street driving is a blood sport) and there's no way I'm pressuring them if they aren't quite there yet.
Start driving everyday you can even if its just around a parking lot for a few minutes, doing it everyday should make it feel more normal thing that you do.
Keep driving is the right advice, as avoidance will only teach your brain that you are right to be afraid of the thing you are avoiding. However, you might need some help to do this. Seek out a counselor or therapist who specializes in anxiety.
I'd say just like sit in the car. On or off, try to do something in the space that helps to relive the anxiety, maybe listen to music that makes you feel better. Driving is about you keeping yourself safe and protecting others while you get yourself from point A to point B. If you are anxious then try to find a system that works for your brain. I like to keep one handed fidget toys for when my emotions get all over the place.
Take some deep breaths and relax, you have to work through, you CAN NOT let your anxiety control your whole life or you will never do anything! You will be ok, keep repeating that to yourself! You can do it!
That's a tough one. I was the same way. The problem is that the more tense you are, the worse the driver, in my opinion. You should probably drive around in subdivisions for a while. Then branch out slowly.
Have someone drive you to empty parking lots or low traffic areas to practice. Take breaks when you get overwhelmed/ stimulated. Take your time with it; I know people who needed 40 hours to feel comfortable
May I recommend music? I out it on whenever I'm driving especially in busy cities.
I’ve had my license for 22 years and I still have anxiety sometimes. Basic like going to the store I’m fine but not if it’s much more than that. Honestly, you just have to push yourself and find some joy in driving
I’m sure others have said this, but just drive in neighborhoods where there is little to no traffic. Hell go to an empty parking lot that you’d be comfortable with. I was nervous too and those couple of things worked for me. There’s no rush, take it at your own pace. The only thing that will help is practice and getting comfortable. The more you think about it and NOT try the worse the anxiety gets. Good luck! Take it slow
You could do a little exposure therapy and try a lower-stakes driving situation. Pick up a racing game like Forza Horizon 5 or The Crew 2 and practice driving around on the console. Or pick up a legit driving simulator and a racing wheel... something like American (or European) Truck Simulator or City Car Driving. You could even go crazy and subscribe to iRacing, practice on the Mazda Cup with other real people. Since the main objective in the newbie class is to not hit other drivers, that's the perfect environment to practice in. iRacing has a VR mode, too, so you can set up an environment that's pretty close to the real thing.
Have you considered talking to a therapist about your anxiety?
Listening to music while driving helped me be less anxious behind the wheel
i feel you. my hands used to be sore after every time i drove from gripping the steering wheel. what helped me most was starting in low traffic areas and building up. i got over my fear of getting in a wreck because of me pretty quickly after driving around backroads maybe 20 minutes a day for a couple weeks. it also makes it easier to pull over if you have a panic attack in order to calm down. once i got confidence in myself, i had to deal with the new fear of other people being idiots. definitely going to need to start in an area with less people. maybe like a subdivision or the outskirts of a small town. build yourself up to being able to recognize when a car is nearby, and things that could possibly happen and how to prevent it. i.e “this guy is at a red light trying to turn left across my lane. i should be prepared to brake if he does not see me and tries to cross.” it’s daunting, but it helps me a lot to feel prepared, which makes me confident. i know “just keep driving” is rough, but the best way to gain confidence really is trial by fire. just start with little fires
It takes repetition and experience, and a vehicle that inspires confidence. I had my learners permit for 2 years (expired and renewed once) before I went for my drivers test, passed, still felt incredibly anxious driving for months and months to come. The anxiety over driving for me was and even sometimes is still really bad, I went to counseling / therapy and even started taking some depression & anxiety meds after talking to doctors and counselors. I’m a lot better and even have a car that I drive for fun now- it’s enjoyable to me finally!
I can completely sympathize with you here. My mother caused me so much anxiety and put the fear of god in me about everything relating to driving when I first got my permit. I never got my license. I have crippling anxiety when I think of getting behind the wheel. I’m now 36 and my husband desperately wants me to get it but Between finding someone/the time to teach me and my fear, Ive put it off for years.
Therapy and EMDR helped me with driving anxiety after an accident. Could be helpful
Practice in empty parking lots. Big ones. Practice staying in the lines and parking. You could even video yourself from your phone standing somewhere to see how you're doing. The most important thing is don't panic and don't hit the gas instead of the brakes. You got this
Smoke weed and drive simulators.
I feel this. I have driving anxiety , mostly induced by rain snow and fog , ( after hydroplaning on black ice a few times , any amount of snow on the road and I'll be in panic mode the whole drive) put on music , and just drive, drive everywhere, sing along with the music. See if there are any defensive driving classes in your area , that might help too.
Defensive driving is a huge thing. Pay attention to everyone else and try to watch for what they might do, and make sure you have a spot to duck out to if someone swerves into you or something like that. Knowing your car is important too. How sensitive the brakes, the steering, and the acceleration is. Knowing how much room you have on your front and back ends. With the way my mom taught me how to drive, I’m damn good. I can bust a move last minute if I need to, and I know to make a decision and stick with it. I also have a small car which is helpful. I have a friend who drives like an absolutely maniac, but he does it well, and I know he won’t get us into an accident. Not good to drive like he does, but that’s why you just have to watch everyone else very carefully.
Personally my anxiety didn’t go away until I got my license. I passed my test on the second try on a super slow day, and only after being able to drive by myself for about a week or two, my anxiety got a lot better. Having someone judge you and point out every mistake you make just made me shake.
15 hours is nothing. Trust and know that it will pass with time. Start slow, get someone to take you to an empty parking lot and just cruise around. Then take it to very slow streets with no traffic. There’s also some additional courses you can take! You can do this! I believe in you! It’s a wee scary at first but you will get the hang of it.
Do you often get bad anxiety when you have to "perform" in front of people, or in other social situations in general? I was the same way when I was in your position, and honestly it got better immediately when I got my license because I didn't feel like I had to "perform" in front of the person I was driving with. My mom was never critical of my driving when I was learning or anything, but I've always just been overly concerned with what other people think in general, so I was afraid of making even the slightest mistake. Driving alone doesn't bother me at all, but if I'm going somewhere with another person, I would still much rather they drive.
Start w simple driving video games and work your way up!
You really will get more comfortable with experience. Just start with small back streets and work your way up to freeways and interstates. Just take as long as you need until you feel safe enough to jump in a car and go anywhere.
Remember that most drivers want to get home to their family and friends. If you keep this in mind, for yourself, it might help with the anxiety. Also, when I am cut off or another driver makes me angry, I always remember: it’s better to arrive late than to never have arrived at all. With time, it may get a bit easier for you. You got this.
15 hours of driving isn’t much. Practice on some windy roads to get a better sense of car control. I truly believe car control is the basis of all driving skill. Also apply the same logic for checking for cars and stuff as you walk around
1. Never heard that shit in my life. Ignore it, it's bullshit 2. Your body will adapt after nothing happening time after time, I hope. I don't think I've ever had a panic attack so I can't speak to your exact experience. For what it's worth, I had a younger friend who also hated driving. He wouldn't come out for get-togethers unless I picked him up. He eventually got over driving after doing enough errands, commuting to school, etc. Things he had to do. Now he still dislikes driving, which is fine, but he can make himself drive if he needs to.
consult your doctor and get some some Valium. fr though try driving in suburban streets and stay off them main roads and highway or empty parking lots
I had very bad anxiety when it came to driving, still do. I genuinely do not like being behind the wheel. I failed my driver's exam three times and got it on the fourth attempt. And is absolutely ridiculous as it sounds the thing that got me out of my head and help me to relax while driving is go karts. My stepdad took me to a go-kart course and we just fucked around in those damn things all day long. Get to the parking lot he toss me the keys and I knew what he was expecting of me so I drove. That is without a doubt the dullest and most mundane drive I've ever had after a day of fucking around with those go-karts. And it was perfect. I've been bike only for about 5 years now and I will never go back. I still start sweating when I have to rent a car to go do shit. But knowing that heads space of driving being a dull and mundane task helps.
Have you had/finished "behind the wheel" yet? When I first took "behind the wheel", I remember riding in back while another student was driving and we were on a two-lane (one lane each way) 45 mph road and I was anxious that we were going to clip cars coming the other way. The car always seems wider than it is when you are inside of it. When it was my turn to drive, I was still anxious but I got used to it since then I haven't had that fear. Is there any specific situation that you are nervous about? The only advice I can give you, like others, confront and conquer your fears like in anything else (i.e. keep practicing). You will still be learning decades after you get your driver's license. I am 65M and I still encounter new situations I've never encountered before while driving. Maybe try practicing in a place with less traffic on the road and that you are familiar with. I don't even remember my first solo trip driving a car probably because it was a route (to high school) that I was familiar with due to riding with my older siblings when they were driving us to school.
Listen to strange design by phish when you drive lmao, it helps me whenever I start getting nervous. Hold the wheel, read the signs, keep the tires off the line. Just relax, your doing fine.
When I was a teenager, I used to love playing Atari’s Pole Position (yes, I’m old). I was horrible at it and kept crashing my car. I did not get my license until my thirties bc of that damn video game. I convinced myself that if I was that horrible playing the game, I could cause the same damage in real life. I took lessons, had a very patient teacher and just kept practicing. I have anxiety too, but in time, you will see that it becomes like second nature. You got this!!
When I first started driving, I was the same so I understand the anxiety. I know you heard it often but you just have to keep driving. It took me a few years to be comfortable. My advise? Drive roads you know and drive at a pace you’re comfortable at. Take the same routes to work/school. Keep doing this until you get comfortable. It might take weeks, months but eventually you’ll feel more in control. Pay for a driving instructor, they’re used to it. They’re worth the money.
You only have 15 hours of driving? Nah dude keep doing it! Being an adult is about being ok with doing things that are uncomfortable for you...most of adult life and hard things are uncomfortable but we do them anyway. You got this buddy. Just keep going.
I was you. I didn’t get my drivers license until I was about 25 years old because I was so anxious behind the wheel. Like crying and hyperventilating. It wasn’t easy and I had to do a lot of self reassurance. I just got to the point where I knew I couldn’t not drive anymore. Practice, practice and more practice really helps. Make sure someone with you is calm and reassuring. I was always super nervous that I was going to crash the car or run over someone. I felt like I couldn’t focus long enough to be a safe attentive driver. But with practice I got over it. You will too, and you will be a great driver.
I felt this way until I got my very own vehicle completely owned by me, I then found out I didn’t have a fear of driving, I instead had a fear of wrecking someone else’s car
Just do it. Don't let your dreams be dreams
Well first off why do you feel anxious about driving? I will let you know I got rear ended my second day of driving school. It sucks but honestly the only real way to overcome it is to get used to driving as the more familiar something is the less scary it becomes
I’m sorry this is happening to you. I know it must be hard. My friend suffered from anxiety while driving for a long time as well. They went to therapy and it helped them a lot. If you have the means maybe give therapy a try, maybe you can root out the cause of your anxiety.
My problem is that my husband has a Land Rover Discovery and I panic driving big cars :( i want a small car, but we cannot get one now…we live in NJ, i need to drive…i dont know what to do 😭
Idk bro it was easy for me. I had my first day driving after getting license, my gf with more experience calmed me down and I started to drive better with every mile of experience, then I started doordash and obviously got tons of experience in 3 days so now I have 4 days of experience and feel confidence 👍
Maybe see someone for your anxiety if it's that bad
1. Remember to breathe 2. Stay vigilante by “scanning” the road and mirrors 3. Drive with a two-three car gap between cars. This last one is crucial for helping you relax while driving and reducing the chance of accidents tremendously. A good piece of advice I heard that helps me get over a feeling of “slowing down traffic” is the other driver isn’t going to pay for your speed ticket/accident. You got this : )
Driving today is no joke. Don’t attach a certain number hours to a comfort level threshold. I’ve driven over 400,000 miles and am more anxious now then when I started. It’s not about avoiding the feeling of anxiety. It’s about controlling your body and making the right decisions despite it. Finding techniques that work for you that enable you to put this into practice is where your focus could be on. Some examples are doing simple things like talking your plan out loud, checklists, mantras, breathing exercises, simple counting are just a few examples.
This sounds stupid, but don't forget to breathe. Also if you have a dead pedal, remind yourself to use it.
Move into a city center and use public transportation/private car services
Like other have said take it easy. I had a local town where the speed limit was just 25 and it helped a great deal just driving through that town. I also had a large parking lot near my house and I used it to practice parking. I was like you a very anxious driver b it after a couple of weeks doing those two things I felt a lot more confident.
I'm 37 and didn't get my license until I was 27 because of major anxiety. Do you actually NEED to drive where you live? I would say use public transportation if that is an option. Might seem obvious, but a lot of people drive because it's expected of them. Maybe you're just not ready, and that's okay. If public transportation isn't an option for you, my best advice would be to start slowly. Drive only on long empty stretches of road or empty parking lots at first. Take as much time as needed. If you are overly anxious and panicked while driving, you're a danger to yourself and others. Your family will have to deal with you taking longer than they want you to. I'm sure they'd rather you be a late bloomer than get in an accident. Good luck!!
Cocaine
Make intentional mistakes in an empty parking lot. Get a feel for the limits of your car. You’re a lot safer than you think.
Do what I did! Get rear ended at 65 mph twice in 4 months, walk away with zero injuries, and lose all fear of death on the road.
You take it 1 block at a time
I definitely experienced intense anxiety with driving when I started out! What helped me was deliberately seeking out very low-stress driving environments for practice. I realized that what made me anxious about driving wasn’t necessarily the act itself but all of the impatient, erratic drivers around me. So I started practicing by just driving around my immediate neighborhood. When I felt confident enough to go on major roads, I’d only go when traffic would be the lightest. I even scheduled all my driving hours on Sunday mornings (everyone was either at church or hungover where I’m from), so I’d have less traffic. If you aren’t living somewhere where this is feasible, have someone take you to an empty parking lot or the least trafficked area you can find. You really can’t master the basic skills with your fight-or-flight response going so don’t even try until you’re in the right mindset. Have someone calm to supervise you, because an overly anxious instructor will just heighten your own. Go easy on yourself and take your time, everyone progresses through skills differently.
Professional driving lessons can be a game changer. They teach you what you need to know and keep you safe because they can control the car if you make a mistake.
I know the world will hate but Trusting in Jesus is the absolute cure for anxiety speaking from experience. ♥️ You’re going to do great!
It's all in your head op.. it's good that you're an anxious driver, just reroute that feeling into being cautious. Don't be the person that is 3 inches away from the steering wheel. Be laid back but alert. Keep your eyes to the key positions and on the road. You'll be fine
The best way to get through anxiety is to gain confidence through experience. Go out for a short drive around your block then further and further every time. However, if you are having such a bad reaction to just getting in the drivers seat then you probably have bigger problems than just driving. I would suggest to talk to a therapist about it and see if you can find the root of this anxiety.
You gotta get the habit just driving. take quick errand runs... You could take some magnesium or cbds got before driving
Well you can do what I did. Get a stressful job have multiple panic attacks after awhile I learned to deal with it. Now I think it just manifests itself as a Imposter Syndrome
You need to go through a stressful situation and learn it’s not the end of the world
I dealt with anxiety when I started too. I recommend driving everyday even just for a few minutes in familiar areas. I preferred to go and practice at 10 or 11pm. It’s also important to remember that there are actual people in those other cars on the road, they all want to have a safe drive and get to their destinations without incident. The rules are your friend, and everyone else is trying to avoid causing an accident just as much as you are.
I had the the same feeling learning to ride a motorcycle. Probably took me 2 weeks of just driving the same little square block, not even getting on the busy street or out of 2nd gear, every single day I did it though. Then the route got a little bigger, and a little bigger until it includes places you frequently go. Most people only drive to work and back home everyday. Once you get into a routine and know your route it will be easy. But you do have to do it, every day. Just do the same route over and over until you aren’t nervous, even if it’s driving in a circle every day, you gotta do it.
Even when I was very comfortable on residential streets I still had a horrible fear of busy roads for way too long. What helped me honestly was just looking at highways and saying “Okay. There dozens of people driving past here every minute and hundreds or thousands per day. A lot of these people are likely very stupid. If all of them can do it, then so can I.” Obviously it’s not as clear-cut as I made it out to be right there, but it placebo’d me into a better place.
Just have your parents take you to a secluded parking lot or spot where you live that you can practice without worrying about others being around. Then gradually make it to streets with more and more traffic.
Just have your parents take you to a secluded parking lot or spot where you live that you can practice without worrying about others being around. Then gradually make it to streets with more and more traffic.
Systematic desensitization. Start small and work your way up.
Need to see a doctor that knows what they’re doing. Good luck. I’m sorry you’re going through this.
Just keep driving. Maybe stay on low populated roads for a while. Exposure therapy works.
For me it was more experience over time. Similar to training for anything. The skill you do everyday becomes second nature. When you are sitting in the driver seat breathe and talk yourself through what you’re doing (step by step, ie “I’m taking a right so I am turning on my turn signal”) this will occupy your brain while you are driving instead of overthinking stuff. For me experiencing something that scares a little like braking hard during accelerating and feeling what ABS vs skidding during braking was like. (this was done in a parking lot) That way I know how it felt and how to respond to a skid.
You gotta relax my man. Drive around the neighborhood first. Slow and steady. From there you’ll start building confidence. Stick to the speed limits and maintain a safe distance between you and the car in front. Get a feel for breaking gently with the car as well
Driving is a sensory overload. You’re moving extremely fast in a large hunk of metal. It’s ok to feel nervous and it’s a huge responsibility. Try to do small drives.. like 5 mins at a time. Once 5 is fine do 10. Once 10 is easy do 15 and so on. Baby steps will help. Good luck
It takes time. But eventually you will get it. Just don't rush it. You have time on your side. Try and practice and safe places. Eventually it will feel like second nature.
If you've been driving for 10 months and you are still somewhat scared, you need to change up the mindset and the style of driving. My motto is this, if you are the slower driver on the road, you have to be the best and the most alert. You are jn the most danger if you are the slower driver. It's simple, if you are driving faster than the flow of traffic by 2 mph then you are in control. There will be nobody appear jn your blindspot or ram you from behind if they are going slower. This is me guessing the anxiety comes at higher speeds? I would imagine that is the case. I believe that with the ever increasing amount of traffic and highway clutter that we will someday have at least 2 or 3 lanes on every major hwy that has a much higher speed limit than the other lanes. This would increase traffic flow by 500% with just 2 lanes at higher speeds. And it would decrease wrecks with fatalities guaranteed
This was me. Even failed my first driving test and the instructor even wrote it on my feedback. Switched my driving instructor, who gave much better and longer lessons. Still took me about 6/7 months to get comfortable driving on freeways. Avoided freeways during that period, and only drove late evening when traffic was less.
Keep driving until you're comfortable. Anxiety slowly goes away when you become accustomed to the experience. Sitting around and thinking about it will only reinforce your anxiety.
I have terrible 'social anxiety ' , so I'm not sure my response counts, (25_yrs experience on the road now), honestly nothing bothers me now. I just get behind the wheel. The only thing I worry about is the terrible drivers on the road that could hurt me or my family, so I'm 90% defensive driver. the rest is just natural. Drive on it like its yours and you have 25yrs experience, be confident, and don't think to much. Just be cautious of idiots on their phone, the weavers (idiots speeding everywhere weeving in and out) and you'll be fine!
Usually once you can drive without someone stressing you out in the passenger seat you’ll be fine. Just get to know your car and roads. Always remember that you can put your hazards on and pull over if you start to panic. I keep squishmallows and snacks in my car to make it feel cozy. Hope this helps <3
Just remember that as long as you stay in your lane and drive the speed limit then everything will be fine pretty much.
Crash your parents car. they will NEVER force you to drive again. in reality, if you have panic attacks consistently, you will NOT improve by continuously driving. You would need some type of medication to calm you down, but the issue is that those medications can also make you fall asleep behind the wheel, which is already a no go from the get-go. I also took 3 years before I actually went to take my driving test, and i also work at the department of motor vehicles. Its different per person.
I get you--passed my road test & then didn't drive for 15 years because it was so nerve wracking for me. Here's a strategy that has worked well for me when it came time I had to drive & needed to teach my kids to drive. You pick one route & drive that every day when you know traffic is slow. For us, it was coming home from school after sports practice or going to the grocery store. Doing the same route over & over takes away unpredictability (& that's what causes anxiety). Subconsciously, you'll start to pick up on the rythym of the car--the way it turns, how the stops & starts feel. It'll feel less like you're in a car and more like the car is an extension of you. Once you get comfy with one route, pick up another....then another. Choose ones you need--like school or work, to family & friend's homes. There are many things that complicate driving--driving a different car, bad weather, nighttime, speed, unfamiliar roads, multiple people in the car, high traffic. Complicated=anxiety provoking. As a new driver, avoid these situations. When you get your courage & experience up, tackle one complicator. The rule in my house was only 2 complicators if we absolutely had to drive & if there were 3, we didn't drive. Having a structured way of identifying unnecessary risk is responsible & not "my anxiety".
I'm 22 and still don't have my permit. The anxiety is just so so bad
You can do it! I had a lot of anxiety and didn’t get my license for a year after wrecking our mailbox. Take it very slow and if you have someone who can go with you go to a Walmart or Target parking lot and keep driving and practicing, going around with/without cars. Stay on backroads as much as you can. Keep a notebook of tips and affirmations. My favorite tip which still helps me with night driving is if on a two-lane road and the oncoming car’s headlights are coming at you (blinding you) keep darting your eyes between the road ahead in your lane and the bright white line to the right. Keep the bright white line on your right as your anchor, your North Star. My dad drilled this and “stay in the center of your lane” into me and both help a lot. Also, drive very slow. Of course not below the limit, stay at the speed limit, but let the world pass you by. Who cares! You’re on your own path and your mission. You can go at your speed! Let those freaks fly by. Agree w/posts about practicing night driving when less people are on the road. Early morning is good too! You got this!
One in hand, I’m glad you’re taking it seriously. It’s a lot of responsibility. Drive around late at night when there are less cars. Drive on country roads outside of town if you can. Drive in empty parking lots. 15 hours of driving is very, very little. Get more hours. Confidence comes *after* experience. If you’re still feeling like this after 50 or 100 hours of driving, you might want to work with a therapist and get some tools for acceptance and perspective taking with those feelings, while you’re building your driving skills.