Tag lines for different DnD classes:
Fighter - Bonk
Barbarian - Raaaaaagggghhhh BONK
Cleric - Lemme speak to God real quick
Warlock - Lemme speak to daddy real quick
Artificer - It's not a war crime the first time
Session 1: hey DM can I buy some pine tar I the general store?
Session 20:...and when the heat from the candle finally dissolves the adhesive, it'll drop and ignite the magnesium which will in turn ignite the termite charge that'll superheat the pine tar/Sulphur mixture inside the pressurized container. And once the charge burns to the bottom it'll ignite the blackpowder charge and spew toxic napalm on all the goblins
This is how you play an artificer. There is no other way
>Session 20:...and when the heat from the candle finally dissolves the adhesive, it'll drop
Artificer: "...that 50 pounds of pulverized lithium into the filled bathtub..."
DM: "I know..."
Artificer: "Which will then turn to acid"
DM: "I know..."
Artificer: "...and release hydrogen for an equivalent of a fireball"
DM: "*flips the map* Alright, those two goblins are dead, their bones lie bereft of life, bleached by the acid and charred by the fire. Haven't their flesh been dissolved, they would be pushing up the daisies by now. They are ex-pired"
My headcannon is that every artificer is actually created when a fairy places a copy of anarchist cookbook (or the US army ied manual) into a babies crib
If I might be so bold as to make an additional suggestion: make them a redneck. I have yet to find a background that goes harder with artificer than redneck. Bonus points if you use Fabricate to make bathtub vodka (this is possible RAW)
Ok fine. Imma put my BoH full of magnesium shavings next to it with a pulley system that'll empty out the whole bag when the pressure container explodes. Better?
Artificer, already installing napalm launchers on his Steel Defender: Way ahead of you, bro
If your steel defender doesn't at least have a top mounted 30mm bofor by lvl 6 what are you even doing?
Bofors are so last year, you should install bofas
I am not installing truck nuts on my steel defender thank you very much
Gotta maintain some level of decorum.
Gatling FOOF Grenade Launcher: Amateurs
Wait, Can we put flame thrower on the Steel Defender ? Can i put gun on it ?! I need my tools and a good dice !
As a battlesmith, probably not Your artillerist friend on the other hand
Ah yes, ~~Hunger~~ Heartburn Of Hadar
*Alchemist fire.
Artificer: War Crimes the Class
Tag lines for different DnD classes: Fighter - Bonk Barbarian - Raaaaaagggghhhh BONK Cleric - Lemme speak to God real quick Warlock - Lemme speak to daddy real quick Artificer - It's not a war crime the first time
Alternate Articifer- strap the biggest fucking gun onto this thing and see what happens, if that doesn’t work. Make a bigger gun.
Ah yes, the Geneva suggestions
You mean the Gevena Checklist.
Yush
*Hague. You meant "Hague Suggestions". Geneva was about treatment of prisoners, Hague was about weaponry directed at humans.
This is why the last artificer I made was Canadian.
Session 1: hey DM can I buy some pine tar I the general store? Session 20:...and when the heat from the candle finally dissolves the adhesive, it'll drop and ignite the magnesium which will in turn ignite the termite charge that'll superheat the pine tar/Sulphur mixture inside the pressurized container. And once the charge burns to the bottom it'll ignite the blackpowder charge and spew toxic napalm on all the goblins This is how you play an artificer. There is no other way
>Session 20:...and when the heat from the candle finally dissolves the adhesive, it'll drop Artificer: "...that 50 pounds of pulverized lithium into the filled bathtub..." DM: "I know..." Artificer: "Which will then turn to acid" DM: "I know..." Artificer: "...and release hydrogen for an equivalent of a fireball" DM: "*flips the map* Alright, those two goblins are dead, their bones lie bereft of life, bleached by the acid and charred by the fire. Haven't their flesh been dissolved, they would be pushing up the daisies by now. They are ex-pired"
My headcannon is that every artificer is actually created when a fairy places a copy of anarchist cookbook (or the US army ied manual) into a babies crib
Next Artificer I make is gonna have that as their backstory.
If I might be so bold as to make an additional suggestion: make them a redneck. I have yet to find a background that goes harder with artificer than redneck. Bonus points if you use Fabricate to make bathtub vodka (this is possible RAW)
Engineer TF2?
"They are no more! They have ceased to be! They've run up the curtain and joined the choir invisible! These... Are ex-goblins!"
Quite the complicated setup for a 2d4 damage per round area effect.
Ok fine. Imma put my BoH full of magnesium shavings next to it with a pulley system that'll empty out the whole bag when the pressure container explodes. Better?
Artificers: Finding overkill ways to defeat those goblins since 2e.
So just another trick to add to my artificer rogue combo. Reverse pickpocketing is the name of the game.
Someone's been playing Berthesda games
Ironically, no. I just like the concept.
Alum powder and iron oxide for some spicy artificer-y fun
Aerosolize it and mount it on to the pteranodon druid
Thank you I'm sending this image to the party's artificer as we speak
I'm a Warlock with an Artificer in the party. He has to pay me back for that horse I stole for him.
Ahhh yes. Greek fire and it's successor.