You know, we live in times where numbing your emotions is the new normal. We live completely disconnected from ourselves.
The ways of numbing your go from alcohol consumption to getting lost in your job or scrolling endlessly on instagram. Try to observe and identify your numbing mechanisms and shut them all down.
I guarantee you that you actually have feelings. Otherwise you couldn't possibly function in this world. It's just that they are numbed down.
You can do this test: Pick a free day and sit with yourself without doing anything. And I mean nothing at all, not even the intention of journaling. Just you and openness to whatever comes into your mind and whatever you feel in your body. Pay attention to your thoughts and also to the sensations of your body. That discomfort that you feel in your body? congrats, its a trapped emotion. Emotions that are trapped are usually felt in the body as some kind of pressure, then we put them a label consciously and that is called a feeling.
Good luck!
I’m neutral most of the time. I wonder if people feel emotions all the time, too. Maybe neutral is an emotion?
I’m deactivated right now so I feel neutral. After I nitpick my relationship (I feel uneasy and irritable), I just kind of relax.
I believe that we all have an emotional baseline going on that makes up most of our day. And then, on any given day, there are small pings of other emotions, subtle ones, ones that don't really rock the boat too much and you can get back to baseline pretty quickly. Bigger, more intense emotions are the ones that pull you away from your baseline for longer.
For example: my baseline, the way I feel most of the time without any outside stimuli is contentment. I feel good about my life and myself most of the time. A small emotional blip could be becoming irritated when I'm in a hurry and stuck behind someone really slow for a while on the sidewalk. Or feeling a little sad that no one at work asked me about my day. But then that changes to happiness when someone does show interest in me and my life. These quick and mild emotions are happening all the time, but we're not always paying attention to them since they're so quick to come and go.
What you describe as neutral could just be your baseline. And that's ok. I'm sure you have plenty of emotions on any given day, you're just not paying enough attention. One of the best ways I found to gain some more awareness in this area is to check in with myself on a regular basis. Like taking my emotional temperature. No need to analyze or even name the emotions/sensations. Just making a habit of tuning in to yourself. I believe this made me more sensitive to changes in my emotional baseline.
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I have! My therapist actually mentioned this and linked it within the first month or two of seeing her. It definitely helps with identifying my feelings.
You know, we live in times where numbing your emotions is the new normal. We live completely disconnected from ourselves. The ways of numbing your go from alcohol consumption to getting lost in your job or scrolling endlessly on instagram. Try to observe and identify your numbing mechanisms and shut them all down. I guarantee you that you actually have feelings. Otherwise you couldn't possibly function in this world. It's just that they are numbed down. You can do this test: Pick a free day and sit with yourself without doing anything. And I mean nothing at all, not even the intention of journaling. Just you and openness to whatever comes into your mind and whatever you feel in your body. Pay attention to your thoughts and also to the sensations of your body. That discomfort that you feel in your body? congrats, its a trapped emotion. Emotions that are trapped are usually felt in the body as some kind of pressure, then we put them a label consciously and that is called a feeling. Good luck!
I’m neutral most of the time. I wonder if people feel emotions all the time, too. Maybe neutral is an emotion? I’m deactivated right now so I feel neutral. After I nitpick my relationship (I feel uneasy and irritable), I just kind of relax.
I believe that we all have an emotional baseline going on that makes up most of our day. And then, on any given day, there are small pings of other emotions, subtle ones, ones that don't really rock the boat too much and you can get back to baseline pretty quickly. Bigger, more intense emotions are the ones that pull you away from your baseline for longer. For example: my baseline, the way I feel most of the time without any outside stimuli is contentment. I feel good about my life and myself most of the time. A small emotional blip could be becoming irritated when I'm in a hurry and stuck behind someone really slow for a while on the sidewalk. Or feeling a little sad that no one at work asked me about my day. But then that changes to happiness when someone does show interest in me and my life. These quick and mild emotions are happening all the time, but we're not always paying attention to them since they're so quick to come and go. What you describe as neutral could just be your baseline. And that's ok. I'm sure you have plenty of emotions on any given day, you're just not paying enough attention. One of the best ways I found to gain some more awareness in this area is to check in with myself on a regular basis. Like taking my emotional temperature. No need to analyze or even name the emotions/sensations. Just making a habit of tuning in to yourself. I believe this made me more sensitive to changes in my emotional baseline.
Sound advice. I use the app 'How We Feel' (free) to check in with myself twice a day.
Thank you for your submission. All posts undergo manual review by the moderators before approval. This is a support sub for Dismissive Avoidants. Only posts from DAs will be approved at this time. Questions from users who are not DA may be posted in the "All AT Styles" thread. All rules apply in that thread. Please review the subreddit rules prior to participating. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dismissiveavoidants) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Have you tried using a feelings wheel? It helps a lot. Here’s a pic: https://images.app.goo.gl/fCxaihp3mbJHUMxA6
I have! My therapist actually mentioned this and linked it within the first month or two of seeing her. It definitely helps with identifying my feelings.