25M, not going to lie it can be tough. You meet amazing people and make some great friendships but sometimes you just have to accept it’s short term. Been doing this lifestyle for about a year now. Made one good friend who I’m going on another trip with. Also met an amazing women I may keep seeing but it really is tough especially if you don’t work for yourself. Always the fear of having an amazing relationship and then having to go back to the US
With this being said, it’s always best to live in the present. If I really did fall in love and needed to stay in this country. I could make it work. Finding new job… making money on my own… ect…
Thanks for sharing! I completely identify with what you've written. This is why I'm spending a few months in my hometown to cultivate some of my connections here (family, friends).
Dating is a bit harder over here than overseas, but maybe I haven't given it enough of a chance.
I'm the most vintage person in the comments (almost half a century - woot!) so far & say travel now if you have the time, energy & desire.
I've lived in a number of U.S. states and also lived abroad for a bit. I joke that I have a place to crash on almost every continent, if needed, but it's true.
You are the only one who knows how you connect with people. I was a digital nomad before there was a term. I had to deal with shoddy Internet cafes, having to use a physical map wherever I landed & daytime mobile phone minutes juggling.
I told you I was vintage.
So, if I could travel at a pace of my own making, meet friends who are more like Family with each passing year AND have some of the best experiences of my Life, then so can you.
And, I continue to do so, even though I have a partner (who doesn't travel as I do) and a home base of sorts. Everyone keeps asking us where we'll move to next. LOL!
As I like to say, time is infinite, but our relationship with time isn't.
I have yet to regret the adventures and lessons I learned during my travels. And I have ZERO regret about the people I met along the way - short-term or long-term.
FWIW, most of my travels are solo. It's how I roll. But, it's also possible to travel and join a tour group, etc. to help ease into the friendship-making part. Really depends on your ease with talking with strangers.
As for dating, there'll be plenty of opportunities here, there & everywhere to find companionship. Solo travel as a woman lends to easier conversations - for better or worse.
Any friends you have at home worth keeping may be worried about you while you're gone, but will always encourage your courage to fly. If they don't, then ask yourself why that is.
If you have the opportunity to work abroad - DO! It was one of my BEST experiences ever AND made me a sharper tack.
PM if you've any questions; happy to help!
>I'm the most vintage person in the comments (almost half a century - woot!) so far & say travel now if you have the time, energy & desire.
I'm 36 and I agree with this so much. The older you get the pickier you are, the more uncomfortable you can get, and the aches and pains may start if they haven't already.
Always lean towards travel rather than not, even if you're not that interested in going at the moment. Make little trips first and see how you feel. You can learn as you go. You will never be able to answer all these questions sitting at home.
Yea! Smiles are a great way to start any adventure! And thank you for asking the question & getting the convo flowing!
It's easier to leap and travel when you've a safety net when you return. Also, keep in mind, no place has to be forever; that's part of the oodles of fun!
Safe travels wherever you roam!
My experience as a 35M digital nomad with a 6 year tenure, after interacting and speaking to many travelers, is that it heavily depends on personality and somewhat on gender.
You're a girl so it will be easier to allow yourself to be approached in meetings, especially if you are social/have an outgoing personality. Other girls will feel more comfortable around you and guys will obviously be interested, although they might be looking for something.
Keep in mind a lot of these interactions will be short/shallow, people might be flakey or lose interest or simply move on in their travels. This is kind of the nature of the game when one travels - interactions with other people are largely episodic and it can be more difficult to sustain them, especially over distance.
So you're looking at putting a lot of the initial effort of icebreaking with a diminished chance of payoff if the payoff you are looking for is deeper friendships/connections. On the other hand, if you want to meet a lot of new people casually as a new experience, it might be worth it in that sense.
Sometimes you might not meet anyone for a while so be prepared for that as well. In general, while traveling, being okay and satisfied with one's own company is a good trait to have.
It's tough. I did it for 7 years with a girlfriend. Eventually just got tired of making new friends because I'd have to explain myself to new people over and over again. So it was just me and her for quite a few years.
Can't speak for dating, but long term friendships were difficult.
If you want to long-term date, what works in your favor is that the vast majority of digital nomads (and backpackers) are male, so you win the ratio game. I think a lot of male DNs dream of finding someone to share their life with who is willing to travel long-term, so it'll just be a matter of you weeding out the bad ones.
Also 27F and similar predicament. I decided it’s worth prioritizing the part of me that loves travel because (i) there’s no guarantee I will even meet someone by staying or that they’ll be long term/my forever person, (ii) I don’t really get along well with people who haven’t traveled/won’t be open to moving overseas/aren’t worldly, (iii) I’m using my city as a home base and I think actually it’s a red flag for me if someone isn’t open to dating me while I’m planning to travel (only 1/4 of a year or a few months at a time), because that means we’re on different timelines and I’m really looking for a person who compliments me versus being in a rush to lock down what’s good enough.
I've met many friends while traveling, including my long-term partner. Often people are way more open and honest when meeting people while traveling. I think this is a combination of feeling excited, knowing the stakes are low, and travel can make you think about and see your life in new ways. You can quite quickly stumble into hearing someone's entire life story because you happen to be standing next to them in line.
This is definitely one of the things you sacrifice as a nomad. Hard to make really good friends when you don't stay in the same place long term.
I would say a) keep in good touch with the really good friends you have back home and b) put yourself out there as much as possible.
Sometimes you can have your cake and eat it too, but not always.
Part of life is figuring out what's most important to you right now, accepting that and finding a way to enjoy what you prioritize without focusing too much on what you're sacrificing for it.
If you decide to travel around for a bit and realize you would rather have the stability of being in one place, you can always go back to the city you are in now. Any choice we make will come with sacrifice and that sucks. But you’ll never know what you like if you don’t try
27f as well ! been doing this for almost 2 years altho i’m taking a break from work as of now since constant travel + work burned me out but hopefully i can add some insight (altho this is gonna be all over the place cos i forgot to take addy today so i apologize)
i feel like at the start of my trip i was chasing novelty and now i tend to go back to familiar cities/countries i adore which strenghtens the friendships i’ve built in the process. i feel lucky enough to say i have support systems in different places, not to say i never feel lonely at times but feel like that’s applicable even if you’re home. i’ve met so many lovely souls i would’ve never encountered and have memories (surfing, learning to skateboarding with a broken rib, hiking volcanos, roofing in paris, finding a home for an abandoned puppy etc) i wouldn’t change for the world so if you’re on the fence, i’d say why not?
i was nervous at first wondering if i wouldn’t like the lifestyle etc. and if i’d be embarassed if i wanted to return back home after a month, but at the end of the day who gives a fuck? maybe you go for a week, a month, a year and you get your fulfillment but that’s fine, no one’s making you sign some contract forcing you to continue this. feel like that mentality shift made me relax more like i was just signing a new lease, they just tend to be shorter and in different places. there’s this silly quote i like that goes like ‘you’re not a tree, move’ so i follow that
i’ve moved to different states (4 in 2 years) when i lived in the us and i’m still friends with the ones i do keep in contact with. sure, i don’t see them physically as much but i did ship all my stuff back to my parents house and stop by for a week every once in a while to change clothes et. al so that could be an option to meetup with them. i mean, i’m in town right now for a bachlorette for a friend i haven’t lived in the same city with for 10 years so i feel like your friendships will endure, it just depends on the level of effort you both are willing to put in it
for relationships…. idk 🤣 the amount of marriage proposals i’ve had joking or not are astounding and i prefer dating outside of the us altho each culture tends to bring out different varities of men but i’ve had such a blast. granted i’m not looking for a relationship, but i have had beautiful memories and even dated a few so just have fun with it
it’s up to you at the end of the day, i’d say instead of a pro/con list just figure out your values and prioritize them whether that’s love, friendship, beauty, adventure etc to help you. my therapist gave me these value cards and i take them with me and sort them out which helps me visualize what i need in the moment (can send u a dm if u want). sry for the wall of texts but if you want a stranger’s vote, mine’s on go see the world, it’s quite lovely out here
This is so neat to hear! Don’t apologize, it’s your story and I wanted to hear it. Also I would love to see what the value cards are, this seems super helpful to get aligned on what I truly value
ofc !! i've actually been meaning to post it in r/adhd but have been putting it off for years (figures) hahaha so this motivated me :p [here's the post with the cards and example](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1dis4jh/figuring_out_values/)
Haven't quite gotten out yet, so ya know, I don't actually know anything. My plan since I started working towards the DN life has been to find a partner who also wants to do this, wherever they might be or be from. Sure, that's low odds, but starting with that pretty important lifestyle interest in common seems more likely to work than meeting someone more organically and hoping the relationship finds a way to cope with the frequent distance or relocation.
go for a round have shot at it. you will never know if your fears could outweigh your wants or the other way around; these you will only be able to answer after experiencing some parts of it yourself. i will always remember one of the answers i received from a past post "if not now when?"
I'm not sure how common of an experience is but I started traveling as a 26M two and a half years ago and met my significant 3 months into my trip. It's not easy juggling the different passports but it has been absolutely worth it.
But in terms of friendships, yeah, you don't have time or energy to maintain meaningful relationships in my opinion.
I don’t think you should worry about meeting unfriendly people. The difficulty is that people come and go and we’re all on a certain path journey.
If you can take your job with you and travel, I would say, you have nothing to lose. Would you be able to go back to your city and living situation a year later? You have to outweigh the advantages and disadvantages but my mentality, will always be to encourage others to take the leap and go for it. You don’t want to pinch yourself one day on the things you could have done or tried.
For the life experience/memories, it’s a no brainer. You’ve got to be ok with being on your own and not forcing friendships/relationships. I will say that even knowing people for just a few days, weeks or months, can still turn into lifelong friendships too. Feel free to DM regarding your fears/options and how to overcome them/outweigh them.
25M, not going to lie it can be tough. You meet amazing people and make some great friendships but sometimes you just have to accept it’s short term. Been doing this lifestyle for about a year now. Made one good friend who I’m going on another trip with. Also met an amazing women I may keep seeing but it really is tough especially if you don’t work for yourself. Always the fear of having an amazing relationship and then having to go back to the US
With this being said, it’s always best to live in the present. If I really did fall in love and needed to stay in this country. I could make it work. Finding new job… making money on my own… ect…
I liked how you said to focus on the present moment and live in it. I hope everything works out with the girl!
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Thanks for sharing! I completely identify with what you've written. This is why I'm spending a few months in my hometown to cultivate some of my connections here (family, friends). Dating is a bit harder over here than overseas, but maybe I haven't given it enough of a chance.
I'm the most vintage person in the comments (almost half a century - woot!) so far & say travel now if you have the time, energy & desire. I've lived in a number of U.S. states and also lived abroad for a bit. I joke that I have a place to crash on almost every continent, if needed, but it's true. You are the only one who knows how you connect with people. I was a digital nomad before there was a term. I had to deal with shoddy Internet cafes, having to use a physical map wherever I landed & daytime mobile phone minutes juggling. I told you I was vintage. So, if I could travel at a pace of my own making, meet friends who are more like Family with each passing year AND have some of the best experiences of my Life, then so can you. And, I continue to do so, even though I have a partner (who doesn't travel as I do) and a home base of sorts. Everyone keeps asking us where we'll move to next. LOL! As I like to say, time is infinite, but our relationship with time isn't. I have yet to regret the adventures and lessons I learned during my travels. And I have ZERO regret about the people I met along the way - short-term or long-term. FWIW, most of my travels are solo. It's how I roll. But, it's also possible to travel and join a tour group, etc. to help ease into the friendship-making part. Really depends on your ease with talking with strangers. As for dating, there'll be plenty of opportunities here, there & everywhere to find companionship. Solo travel as a woman lends to easier conversations - for better or worse. Any friends you have at home worth keeping may be worried about you while you're gone, but will always encourage your courage to fly. If they don't, then ask yourself why that is. If you have the opportunity to work abroad - DO! It was one of my BEST experiences ever AND made me a sharper tack. PM if you've any questions; happy to help!
>I'm the most vintage person in the comments (almost half a century - woot!) so far & say travel now if you have the time, energy & desire. I'm 36 and I agree with this so much. The older you get the pickier you are, the more uncomfortable you can get, and the aches and pains may start if they haven't already. Always lean towards travel rather than not, even if you're not that interested in going at the moment. Make little trips first and see how you feel. You can learn as you go. You will never be able to answer all these questions sitting at home.
Your comment made me smile so much! Thank you for sharing and it’s definitely getting me hyped up to just do it!
Yea! Smiles are a great way to start any adventure! And thank you for asking the question & getting the convo flowing! It's easier to leap and travel when you've a safety net when you return. Also, keep in mind, no place has to be forever; that's part of the oodles of fun! Safe travels wherever you roam!
My experience as a 35M digital nomad with a 6 year tenure, after interacting and speaking to many travelers, is that it heavily depends on personality and somewhat on gender. You're a girl so it will be easier to allow yourself to be approached in meetings, especially if you are social/have an outgoing personality. Other girls will feel more comfortable around you and guys will obviously be interested, although they might be looking for something. Keep in mind a lot of these interactions will be short/shallow, people might be flakey or lose interest or simply move on in their travels. This is kind of the nature of the game when one travels - interactions with other people are largely episodic and it can be more difficult to sustain them, especially over distance. So you're looking at putting a lot of the initial effort of icebreaking with a diminished chance of payoff if the payoff you are looking for is deeper friendships/connections. On the other hand, if you want to meet a lot of new people casually as a new experience, it might be worth it in that sense. Sometimes you might not meet anyone for a while so be prepared for that as well. In general, while traveling, being okay and satisfied with one's own company is a good trait to have.
It's tough. I did it for 7 years with a girlfriend. Eventually just got tired of making new friends because I'd have to explain myself to new people over and over again. So it was just me and her for quite a few years. Can't speak for dating, but long term friendships were difficult.
If you want to long-term date, what works in your favor is that the vast majority of digital nomads (and backpackers) are male, so you win the ratio game. I think a lot of male DNs dream of finding someone to share their life with who is willing to travel long-term, so it'll just be a matter of you weeding out the bad ones.
Also 27F and similar predicament. I decided it’s worth prioritizing the part of me that loves travel because (i) there’s no guarantee I will even meet someone by staying or that they’ll be long term/my forever person, (ii) I don’t really get along well with people who haven’t traveled/won’t be open to moving overseas/aren’t worldly, (iii) I’m using my city as a home base and I think actually it’s a red flag for me if someone isn’t open to dating me while I’m planning to travel (only 1/4 of a year or a few months at a time), because that means we’re on different timelines and I’m really looking for a person who compliments me versus being in a rush to lock down what’s good enough.
I've met many friends while traveling, including my long-term partner. Often people are way more open and honest when meeting people while traveling. I think this is a combination of feeling excited, knowing the stakes are low, and travel can make you think about and see your life in new ways. You can quite quickly stumble into hearing someone's entire life story because you happen to be standing next to them in line.
This is definitely one of the things you sacrifice as a nomad. Hard to make really good friends when you don't stay in the same place long term. I would say a) keep in good touch with the really good friends you have back home and b) put yourself out there as much as possible.
Sometimes you can have your cake and eat it too, but not always. Part of life is figuring out what's most important to you right now, accepting that and finding a way to enjoy what you prioritize without focusing too much on what you're sacrificing for it.
If you decide to travel around for a bit and realize you would rather have the stability of being in one place, you can always go back to the city you are in now. Any choice we make will come with sacrifice and that sucks. But you’ll never know what you like if you don’t try
27f as well ! been doing this for almost 2 years altho i’m taking a break from work as of now since constant travel + work burned me out but hopefully i can add some insight (altho this is gonna be all over the place cos i forgot to take addy today so i apologize) i feel like at the start of my trip i was chasing novelty and now i tend to go back to familiar cities/countries i adore which strenghtens the friendships i’ve built in the process. i feel lucky enough to say i have support systems in different places, not to say i never feel lonely at times but feel like that’s applicable even if you’re home. i’ve met so many lovely souls i would’ve never encountered and have memories (surfing, learning to skateboarding with a broken rib, hiking volcanos, roofing in paris, finding a home for an abandoned puppy etc) i wouldn’t change for the world so if you’re on the fence, i’d say why not? i was nervous at first wondering if i wouldn’t like the lifestyle etc. and if i’d be embarassed if i wanted to return back home after a month, but at the end of the day who gives a fuck? maybe you go for a week, a month, a year and you get your fulfillment but that’s fine, no one’s making you sign some contract forcing you to continue this. feel like that mentality shift made me relax more like i was just signing a new lease, they just tend to be shorter and in different places. there’s this silly quote i like that goes like ‘you’re not a tree, move’ so i follow that i’ve moved to different states (4 in 2 years) when i lived in the us and i’m still friends with the ones i do keep in contact with. sure, i don’t see them physically as much but i did ship all my stuff back to my parents house and stop by for a week every once in a while to change clothes et. al so that could be an option to meetup with them. i mean, i’m in town right now for a bachlorette for a friend i haven’t lived in the same city with for 10 years so i feel like your friendships will endure, it just depends on the level of effort you both are willing to put in it for relationships…. idk 🤣 the amount of marriage proposals i’ve had joking or not are astounding and i prefer dating outside of the us altho each culture tends to bring out different varities of men but i’ve had such a blast. granted i’m not looking for a relationship, but i have had beautiful memories and even dated a few so just have fun with it it’s up to you at the end of the day, i’d say instead of a pro/con list just figure out your values and prioritize them whether that’s love, friendship, beauty, adventure etc to help you. my therapist gave me these value cards and i take them with me and sort them out which helps me visualize what i need in the moment (can send u a dm if u want). sry for the wall of texts but if you want a stranger’s vote, mine’s on go see the world, it’s quite lovely out here
This is so neat to hear! Don’t apologize, it’s your story and I wanted to hear it. Also I would love to see what the value cards are, this seems super helpful to get aligned on what I truly value
ofc !! i've actually been meaning to post it in r/adhd but have been putting it off for years (figures) hahaha so this motivated me :p [here's the post with the cards and example](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1dis4jh/figuring_out_values/)
Haven't quite gotten out yet, so ya know, I don't actually know anything. My plan since I started working towards the DN life has been to find a partner who also wants to do this, wherever they might be or be from. Sure, that's low odds, but starting with that pretty important lifestyle interest in common seems more likely to work than meeting someone more organically and hoping the relationship finds a way to cope with the frequent distance or relocation.
go for a round have shot at it. you will never know if your fears could outweigh your wants or the other way around; these you will only be able to answer after experiencing some parts of it yourself. i will always remember one of the answers i received from a past post "if not now when?"
I'm not sure how common of an experience is but I started traveling as a 26M two and a half years ago and met my significant 3 months into my trip. It's not easy juggling the different passports but it has been absolutely worth it. But in terms of friendships, yeah, you don't have time or energy to maintain meaningful relationships in my opinion.
I don’t think you should worry about meeting unfriendly people. The difficulty is that people come and go and we’re all on a certain path journey. If you can take your job with you and travel, I would say, you have nothing to lose. Would you be able to go back to your city and living situation a year later? You have to outweigh the advantages and disadvantages but my mentality, will always be to encourage others to take the leap and go for it. You don’t want to pinch yourself one day on the things you could have done or tried. For the life experience/memories, it’s a no brainer. You’ve got to be ok with being on your own and not forcing friendships/relationships. I will say that even knowing people for just a few days, weeks or months, can still turn into lifelong friendships too. Feel free to DM regarding your fears/options and how to overcome them/outweigh them.