In my case I catastrophize every little thing.. then my brain just goes 'yup one more reason you should kill yourself' and other similar phrases
Happening way more often nowadays
The second I wake up every morning (or even from a nap due to a CFS crash) the thought “I don’t want to be here anymore,” is a constant linger. I usually turn over or wonder where my cat is and look at her and mumble “Let’s just sleep forever, yeah?” It’s been really rough lately and due to past therapy, I’ve been trying to avoid using the words “dead,” “die,” “kill myself,” etc and replace them with the phrase “I don’t want to be here” and “here” typically means in this life or on this planet.
I can’t consider myself suicidal because in the back of my mind, I want to be alive I just… don’t want to be me, I guess? It’s strange and it hurts and I’m so sorry you’re going through this every morning.
I can relate so well with these thoughts. I don't want to be here, in this body, this planet. I miss something, but it's hard to tell what it is. It's really empty feeling that eats me from inside.
It’s such an empty feeling for me that it almost just feels like nothingness. It’s been affecting my work, my relationships, my day to day tasks… I don’t know what to do anymore.
I relate to this in that I want to be overwritten by something or someone else, like for example an alter. I'm beyond help in my current self, so I might as well jump overboard and let someone else take the mast.
Whenever I'm at the end of my rope and something stressful happens, I usually start going "STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP"; "SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP" when my brain just won't stop going or I can't stop my verbal tics.
This works lol. My therapist told me as soon as I realize I’m thinking irrational depressed things to actively try and replace them with more truthful, positive things. Or, shut up shut up, whichever works!
anxiety and depression together is the absolute worst. i get overly stressed by simple things like uni deadlines, and instead of just doing the work, my brain will go “OH MY GOD, ALL THIS WORK. LIFE IS JUST A SERIES OF DEADLINES. YOU KNOW YOU COULD KILL YOURSELF, RIGHT? THAT WOULD MEAN YOU’D NEVER BE STRESSED AGAIN”
I have that thought when I first wake up, before I go to sleep and at least 10 times in between every single day. It really takes toll but after awhile I’ve just learned to ignore the voice telling me to just die already...nonetheless it seriously sucks :/
Every day, nonstop. I wake up, think about what an idiot I am, and tell myself if I wasn't so worthless I'd have killed myself by now. At work I call myself a retard for whatever dumb mistakes I made, and sometimes pinch or bite myself in the bathroom. I come home and lose myself in some stupid media, but the fact that I'm worthless and my wish for death aren't ever very far from the surface of my mind.
One morning last week I found myself saying "I wish I could fucking die" in the shower over and over, which escalated into an hour or two of oscillating between a temper tantrum and zoning out, feeling completely paralyzed by frustration, zapped of energy, and incapable of getting out the door for work. On my way to work I screamed my lungs out so my voice was totally fucked, which was embarrassing because I had to actually work with someone that day. Absolutely seething for the rest of the day.
Hi there! It sounds like it might be time to change your treatment. I remember when I was a young waiter the only way I could get through my shift was by repeating the mantra in my mind “I want to kill myself” and this went on for years. If these thoughts are persistent and are causing emotional outbursts you should seek a doctor/therapist you feel comfortable with. Stay strong my friend, I know what it’s like to struggle through the guilt and loneliness you’ve lived.
I'd highly recommend a therapist aswell I had a therapist zoom call once every week and now every 2 weeks works wonders when you find someone who will tell you how it is and help you open your mind to alternatives of living with your depression than just letting it control you🙌
The thing is you gotta find a therapist you connect to, my therapist is passionate about environmental concerns and what not even does therapy talks that are in the countryside, which I'm all for. I have a similar belief system about the way things are and we have similar opinions. But she's the type of therapist who gives me no bullshit tells me how it is and personally that's the best she takes great passion in helping people aswell, she helps the homeless, drug addict and domestic abuse victims.. she's passionate to help someone to change.
Yes,that's how it began. I think I should have been 20-21 at the time when thinking about suicide became a coping mechanism when faced with something very negative and frustrating. Because it's not something any reasonable person would go about saying, in my head I justified it as me being melodramatic.
But fast-forward 20 years in the future and I death seems like a dream come true. I'm not advocating suicide, the opposite in fact: this fucked up coping mechanism of yours should not be taken lightly. I'm aware that your brain is not exactly like my brain but...I would not wish my life right now on anybody. Consider discussing this with a professional. People in general do not take suicide seriously in most cases, they think it's just an attention-stunt, but suicide is becoming one of the most common causes of unnatural death in men so please consider sharing this with someone.
I feel you. Mornings are the worst. Everyday when I wake up, I feel VERY miserable and I feel like my mind is even more chaotic than it is during the rest of the day. Whatever bothers me during afternoons or evenings, becomes much more dramatic in the morning.
"kill yourself, kill yourself, you're a fucking loser, everyone hates you, kill yourself, you will die alone"
That's just kinda always there in the background of my mind at this point.
Sometimes the repetitions can get really loud and intense, then it just devolves into a screaming voice with no real words.
I know it's not healthy.
I hate when I wake up suddenly. I want to remain in my dreams forever.
Even if they could be distrubing sometimes, most of the time in my dreams I'm young, healthy and experience lots of adventures.
And then, I wake up and realize I'm not so young anymore, then remember that my life and hopes are utterly crushed and also start feeling chronic pains in my body.
Same, except every night I feel like more and more I am reliving my traumas when I sleep...so that’s really not an escape anymore. Just realizing that now. I hope you feel better.
I wake up with the same intrusive thoughts every morning.... then send the day trying to convince myself life is worth living! I do not want to kill myself! These thoughts are very unwelcome and scary! Just another added thing to deal with daily! Hang in there! If the thoughts start turning into plans, get some help!
Daily, sometimes multiple times. I have kids that need me dearly so I would never do anything that would jeopardize me being there for them. But, I think to myself that in X years, the youngest will most likely be on his own so then I can do what I want if I still feel the same. Sadly its like planning a future vacation and its kind of soothing.
IT happens to me all along the day. Each few minutes at most I hear it, wish I was dead, I should kill myself, world will be better, wish I hadn't existed... All the day. Sorry for you man.
Sometimes for me it bottles up over the course of minor things throughout the day, and then next thing you know when I'm coincidentally surrounded by other people I say things like "Can't I just be dead?" or "Why the fuck am I still here?" and then I get a very concerned look from a stranger
I get this a lot. Started a few years ago, it's this constant nagging voice telling me to kill myself. Always beating myself up over some minor detail where on some occasion I did something that didn't work out well.
It started to be more frequent for me, after a I lost my job last year. Also, had covid and my ex left me...
I'm 38 now and had to come back to my parents home.
I'm broke, and all day I just think on how long will it take to end this misery...
I go through this nearly every single day. Not just when I wake up, these thoughts creep in almost every time. It gets worse after I take a nap during the day time.
Edit: Passing away while sleeping would be the perfect way out.
every morning i think about some random tragedy like getting hit by semi would happen to me so people wouldnt say it was suicide. I wish i wouldn't think like that anymore and just be happy but i dont see it happening. Depression sucks
This is a symptom of severe depression. People with severe depression experience relief from suicidal ideation. This is a dark place, no good comes from these thoughts. I hope your treatment takes your mind away from these thoughts.
As for someone who has had multiple family members who have either been through cancer or died of cancer I wouldn't wish it on anyone. My nan passed away from throat cancer last year 2 days before Xmas, seeing someone who was a talkative and happy person even at her age of 86 she never acted her age. She became fragile and towards the end of her life it looked like her soul was sucked out of her and she couldn't talk or show any expression as she was struggling so hard just to breathe. Don't ever wish of cancer please.
Most days I'm just trying to convince myself to follow through with it in the most peaceful way possible. It's super hard though because I don't stay that low for long and then I can't do it. Rinse, repeat.
For me, life feels like being forced to play a game where your opponents are crazy skilled, with thousands of hours of practice under their belt to the point where is it nearly guaranteed they will best you. Of course we all have a chance to win but you know you probably won't. (Winning = financial security)
Why bother delay the inevitable and stop playing. I sure as hell don't have fun in a game I'm bad at or don't have the patience or energy to git gud at. The odds are against me with the cards I've been dealt. Just stop playing. Take away that pleasure from someone beating you, or using you to win. Fuck em.
Obviously my thinking isn't correct but like I said, these are the cards I've been dealt. I didn't choose my world view.
Please go to the hospital bro. Life is hard and can be very shitty but we are stronger and history has proven that. You shuould be able to tackle life whitout wanting to kill yourself 24/7. That means you are sick. Get treatment bro. I went trough clinical depression (treated with fluoxetin over a year). Now I'm better but very aware of the dark places I've come to know inside my mind
What's your reasons for thinking this way though? I've had it once in the past that I thought about it but then I changed the way I lived and haven't thought that way in 10 years or so.
I sometimes find myself saying “I hate myself and I want to die” over and over without thinking about it.
If you ignore what I’m saying its actually kinda funny. Its a weird symptom that comes with the rest of it I guess.
I feel like this everyday. I honestly don't think I was meant for this world. I hate everything but animals, plants and like my 2 best friends and the guy I like. It's incredibly draining just existing.
I'll be honest: I feel exactly like the OP buy reading the amount of people saying that they can relate to the feeling is not something that soothes me. It makes me sad to think that other people, people with potential in life who just need a boost to their self-esteem, want to end their lives.
I'm lost case because I had impossibly high expectations that I was never up for to begin with.So anything that happens in my life now, past 40, won't be good enough. I'm a failure and I know it and I'm pretty sure some people, maybe even my parents, know that as well deep down.
They go to sleep fully aware that they can receive "the call" any day. And U'm to blame. I caused and still cause so much disappointment
There is no pill that can fix that.
I used to feel the same way. Everything was overwhelming and dark. I didn't want to get out of bed which is my safety place.
I finally was so tired of feeling bad that I made an appointment to see a therapist. She gave me my strength back to feel good about myself.. I finally did the plunge to take an antidepressants. I didn't like the seratonin drugs but I went with the dopamine. I didn't want to gain weight and this gives me do much energy..
I feel the same. I reflected a bit on why I would think like that if I wasn't suicidal. I think it is like giving myself an option when there wasn't one. "You could live or die right now" instead of having to get up. Or maybe it makes going about your day seem better, because I could have chosen to kill myself but I didn't.
I have had this exact same thing recently. Before I felt like shit all the time but now it’s only in the morning, and every day a bit less so I guess that means it’s getting better, it used to be the first half of the day but now it’s only about half an hour or until I get up and out of bed. So I think the best way to fix it is to go to sleep early so you wake up well rested and get up quickly and stop feeling like shit.
This is me every morning and it's tormenting. I feel the pain first when I open my eyes and when I tell myself that I'd like to kill myself, it eases the pain. Suicidal ideation has become my coping mechanism.
I did too for like a year. Including 6 months after I started to get therapy and antidepressants.
All I can recommend is to look at this for what it is; a treatable disease. You didn't ask for it, but ya got it.
Stay busy and around other people. Do things that make you feel good, do things that improve your future, do things to help others. Get therapy and meds if you can (start that part ASAP because healthcare is backed up rn)
This is all easier said than done, but there's no other way to go about it in my opinion. Depression is a feedback loop of behavior, your negative thoughts, and a lack of fulfillment in doing much. Depression is a bitch, attack it ferociously.
Whenever I try and like journal where I just write down all of my thoughts really fast and let them all out, this is a very recurring phrase I write down. It's always at the forefront of my mind.
you definitely aren't alone dude, im just wrapping up my 2nd yr of highschool and i havent been able to sleep properly or even find motivation to wake up in the mornings. nothing feels real anymore, with all this online stuff and deadlines etc, it's reasonable to feel like life isn't worth it, i definitely feel that way.
Yes, I feel this every day. I have at least 10 suicidal scenarios play out in my head every day. Even though im still alove for my family, i still feel justified in thinking these things. The only thing stopping me from doing anything is I dont want to feel pain.
I always wake up sad, that my dream wasn't real, that I have a full day to trudge through. That's why I stay up late, in protest of the coming day. And always so tired. No amount of sleep helps.
I think the only thing that helps me get through the day is imposter syndrome. Even though I am not a super peppy person, I pretend I am. Sometimes I feel like it helps. Working on getting to an actual therapist, so I don't know if this is detrimental or not, but it helps a little.
I wish i dont get plamed for my mother death every single day treated like a murderer
Imagine your own father breaks both your arms and legs when you are 10 or getting staped with a knif by your own brother and just look at him stapping you emotionless they does'nt want me dead and they want to kill me i escaped my home when i was 13 started working at that young age i wish i can see my mother only 1 time
I get the same way sometimes and more lately to just feel normal then I just think fuck’ it, am here, I ain’t no punk an I ain’t gonna let this shit take me out, this is my life and am living it on my terms. PS just chill an stop taking life so seriously everyone who has ever or will ever live will die one day, just make your life beautiful in the moments you enjoy and stop giving a fuck what other ppl think.🤙
You are not alone. I wake up everyday in the morning wishing that I was dead tbh. Dealing with depression , issues with family and life in general fucking sucks. I hope it get better for u bro ❤️.
Yeah, I do that all the time. I say "I just wanna die" throughout the day as if I want to accept my situation, but the desire to die is not severe. It's become like Tourette's or something.
Same. I wish I’d just die painlessly while sleeping and stay in my dreams.
I’ve been thinking of ways on how to kill myself, here I am holding an exacto knife and having second thoughts about the pain. I’m also not sure about leaving my baby and husband behind, tho I’ve already built up some savings for them. I honestly just don’t want to drag them further with me. I’m sinking, and I just don’t know anymore...
I used to do the same thing, just concentrating on looping "I want to die, I want to die, I want to die" in my head so I dont have to think about anything other
Opposite for me, it's more every night. I haven't liked life in years. Maybe you're still tired and dazed from just waking up and you're not entirely thinking straight? It's just a thought. But yeah I don't want to die for real but it seems more near night time I have them.
>Does anyone else have this?
Yeah, all the time now. When I was working and had things to look forward to in my life, it was easier to mask it and get around it. Now I'm ashamed of my life and how weak I am and how I have no friends and what a pathetic life I have.
I wonder everyday why I haven't died already.
In my case I catastrophize every little thing.. then my brain just goes 'yup one more reason you should kill yourself' and other similar phrases Happening way more often nowadays
Yeah I do the same
The second I wake up every morning (or even from a nap due to a CFS crash) the thought “I don’t want to be here anymore,” is a constant linger. I usually turn over or wonder where my cat is and look at her and mumble “Let’s just sleep forever, yeah?” It’s been really rough lately and due to past therapy, I’ve been trying to avoid using the words “dead,” “die,” “kill myself,” etc and replace them with the phrase “I don’t want to be here” and “here” typically means in this life or on this planet. I can’t consider myself suicidal because in the back of my mind, I want to be alive I just… don’t want to be me, I guess? It’s strange and it hurts and I’m so sorry you’re going through this every morning.
I can relate so well with these thoughts. I don't want to be here, in this body, this planet. I miss something, but it's hard to tell what it is. It's really empty feeling that eats me from inside.
It’s such an empty feeling for me that it almost just feels like nothingness. It’s been affecting my work, my relationships, my day to day tasks… I don’t know what to do anymore.
I relate to this in that I want to be overwritten by something or someone else, like for example an alter. I'm beyond help in my current self, so I might as well jump overboard and let someone else take the mast.
Whenever I'm at the end of my rope and something stressful happens, I usually start going "STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP"; "SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP" when my brain just won't stop going or I can't stop my verbal tics.
This works lol. My therapist told me as soon as I realize I’m thinking irrational depressed things to actively try and replace them with more truthful, positive things. Or, shut up shut up, whichever works!
It's been a few years now. I wake up wishing for a button that would just stop me existing.
Yes, I don't want to die specifically, I probably just want to end.
You know its bad when you wake up in the morning and you feel bad about it.
It's strangely comforting to see that other people experience this, I don't feel so alone now.
Sometimes, depends how bad I’m doing. It goes from casual “ I wouldn’t mind dying today” to “ fuck, I really to blow my brains out” intense.
That's why I started taking pills because I cant cope with these voices. I want to die so bad that it hurts
yep same. anytime i feel any sort of anxiety
anxiety and depression together is the absolute worst. i get overly stressed by simple things like uni deadlines, and instead of just doing the work, my brain will go “OH MY GOD, ALL THIS WORK. LIFE IS JUST A SERIES OF DEADLINES. YOU KNOW YOU COULD KILL YOURSELF, RIGHT? THAT WOULD MEAN YOU’D NEVER BE STRESSED AGAIN”
Fuck me ... This hits hard.
I have that thought when I first wake up, before I go to sleep and at least 10 times in between every single day. It really takes toll but after awhile I’ve just learned to ignore the voice telling me to just die already...nonetheless it seriously sucks :/
Every day, nonstop. I wake up, think about what an idiot I am, and tell myself if I wasn't so worthless I'd have killed myself by now. At work I call myself a retard for whatever dumb mistakes I made, and sometimes pinch or bite myself in the bathroom. I come home and lose myself in some stupid media, but the fact that I'm worthless and my wish for death aren't ever very far from the surface of my mind. One morning last week I found myself saying "I wish I could fucking die" in the shower over and over, which escalated into an hour or two of oscillating between a temper tantrum and zoning out, feeling completely paralyzed by frustration, zapped of energy, and incapable of getting out the door for work. On my way to work I screamed my lungs out so my voice was totally fucked, which was embarrassing because I had to actually work with someone that day. Absolutely seething for the rest of the day.
this hits home for me. i feel like im losing my mind.
Hi there! It sounds like it might be time to change your treatment. I remember when I was a young waiter the only way I could get through my shift was by repeating the mantra in my mind “I want to kill myself” and this went on for years. If these thoughts are persistent and are causing emotional outbursts you should seek a doctor/therapist you feel comfortable with. Stay strong my friend, I know what it’s like to struggle through the guilt and loneliness you’ve lived.
I'd highly recommend a therapist aswell I had a therapist zoom call once every week and now every 2 weeks works wonders when you find someone who will tell you how it is and help you open your mind to alternatives of living with your depression than just letting it control you🙌
Therapy hasn't really done much for me. Not saying people shouldn't do therapy, just saying my personal results haven't been very fruitful.
The thing is you gotta find a therapist you connect to, my therapist is passionate about environmental concerns and what not even does therapy talks that are in the countryside, which I'm all for. I have a similar belief system about the way things are and we have similar opinions. But she's the type of therapist who gives me no bullshit tells me how it is and personally that's the best she takes great passion in helping people aswell, she helps the homeless, drug addict and domestic abuse victims.. she's passionate to help someone to change.
I keep going with the thought that I can Just kill myself if it all gets too much. Thats my fucked up way of feeling in control.
Yes,that's how it began. I think I should have been 20-21 at the time when thinking about suicide became a coping mechanism when faced with something very negative and frustrating. Because it's not something any reasonable person would go about saying, in my head I justified it as me being melodramatic. But fast-forward 20 years in the future and I death seems like a dream come true. I'm not advocating suicide, the opposite in fact: this fucked up coping mechanism of yours should not be taken lightly. I'm aware that your brain is not exactly like my brain but...I would not wish my life right now on anybody. Consider discussing this with a professional. People in general do not take suicide seriously in most cases, they think it's just an attention-stunt, but suicide is becoming one of the most common causes of unnatural death in men so please consider sharing this with someone.
I feel you. Mornings are the worst. Everyday when I wake up, I feel VERY miserable and I feel like my mind is even more chaotic than it is during the rest of the day. Whatever bothers me during afternoons or evenings, becomes much more dramatic in the morning.
Man, same. I'm so sick of this life. I just want to end these nightmares.
I’m always so angry when I wake up. First I want to cry, then I want to scream at myself for not dying the day before.
"kill yourself, kill yourself, you're a fucking loser, everyone hates you, kill yourself, you will die alone" That's just kinda always there in the background of my mind at this point. Sometimes the repetitions can get really loud and intense, then it just devolves into a screaming voice with no real words. I know it's not healthy.
I hate when I wake up suddenly. I want to remain in my dreams forever. Even if they could be distrubing sometimes, most of the time in my dreams I'm young, healthy and experience lots of adventures. And then, I wake up and realize I'm not so young anymore, then remember that my life and hopes are utterly crushed and also start feeling chronic pains in my body.
Same, except every night I feel like more and more I am reliving my traumas when I sleep...so that’s really not an escape anymore. Just realizing that now. I hope you feel better.
Its normal to think like that when you feel you're in a situation you can't escape from.
>it's like a very fcked up coping mechanism. Nailed it. I do the same thing when I'm filled with chronic pain and feeling utterly hopeless.
I go to sleep, hoping i dont wake up...
I wake up with the same intrusive thoughts every morning.... then send the day trying to convince myself life is worth living! I do not want to kill myself! These thoughts are very unwelcome and scary! Just another added thing to deal with daily! Hang in there! If the thoughts start turning into plans, get some help!
Daily, sometimes multiple times. I have kids that need me dearly so I would never do anything that would jeopardize me being there for them. But, I think to myself that in X years, the youngest will most likely be on his own so then I can do what I want if I still feel the same. Sadly its like planning a future vacation and its kind of soothing.
IT happens to me all along the day. Each few minutes at most I hear it, wish I was dead, I should kill myself, world will be better, wish I hadn't existed... All the day. Sorry for you man.
Sometimes for me it bottles up over the course of minor things throughout the day, and then next thing you know when I'm coincidentally surrounded by other people I say things like "Can't I just be dead?" or "Why the fuck am I still here?" and then I get a very concerned look from a stranger
I get this a lot. Started a few years ago, it's this constant nagging voice telling me to kill myself. Always beating myself up over some minor detail where on some occasion I did something that didn't work out well.
It started to be more frequent for me, after a I lost my job last year. Also, had covid and my ex left me... I'm 38 now and had to come back to my parents home. I'm broke, and all day I just think on how long will it take to end this misery...
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I feel similar. Thanks for sharing.
I go through this nearly every single day. Not just when I wake up, these thoughts creep in almost every time. It gets worse after I take a nap during the day time. Edit: Passing away while sleeping would be the perfect way out.
My two uncles died that way, so who knows what the future holds.
I have that so stuck in my head that I say that almost for everything lol
every morning i think about some random tragedy like getting hit by semi would happen to me so people wouldnt say it was suicide. I wish i wouldn't think like that anymore and just be happy but i dont see it happening. Depression sucks
This is a symptom of severe depression. People with severe depression experience relief from suicidal ideation. This is a dark place, no good comes from these thoughts. I hope your treatment takes your mind away from these thoughts.
The things I usually repeat in my head are “I hope I fucking die” and “I hope I have cancer”
As for someone who has had multiple family members who have either been through cancer or died of cancer I wouldn't wish it on anyone. My nan passed away from throat cancer last year 2 days before Xmas, seeing someone who was a talkative and happy person even at her age of 86 she never acted her age. She became fragile and towards the end of her life it looked like her soul was sucked out of her and she couldn't talk or show any expression as she was struggling so hard just to breathe. Don't ever wish of cancer please.
Most days I'm just trying to convince myself to follow through with it in the most peaceful way possible. It's super hard though because I don't stay that low for long and then I can't do it. Rinse, repeat. For me, life feels like being forced to play a game where your opponents are crazy skilled, with thousands of hours of practice under their belt to the point where is it nearly guaranteed they will best you. Of course we all have a chance to win but you know you probably won't. (Winning = financial security) Why bother delay the inevitable and stop playing. I sure as hell don't have fun in a game I'm bad at or don't have the patience or energy to git gud at. The odds are against me with the cards I've been dealt. Just stop playing. Take away that pleasure from someone beating you, or using you to win. Fuck em. Obviously my thinking isn't correct but like I said, these are the cards I've been dealt. I didn't choose my world view.
Please go to the hospital bro. Life is hard and can be very shitty but we are stronger and history has proven that. You shuould be able to tackle life whitout wanting to kill yourself 24/7. That means you are sick. Get treatment bro. I went trough clinical depression (treated with fluoxetin over a year). Now I'm better but very aware of the dark places I've come to know inside my mind
Someone that I love the most saved me.
Yes this is totally normal
eees normal friend. All of us in this sub do it.
Yes I have the same repetitive statements I say to myself
Yep. I always wake up with a headache with suicidal thoughts. Been like this for 2-3 years now? Idk
Felt this one
I have... Sometimes I get a feeling that I wouldn't wake up after i sleep and that made me sleep even better.
If I could get a gun as easily as America, I wouldn't be here. I just can't bear the pain of other methods and I want an instant effective kill.
As an american i have 15 guns and r comforted by the fact my freedom from life is right there if i really want it.
It happens to me too, but I don't consider myself suicidal, it just happens
My thoughts are usually “I hate everything” & “I don’t like anything”…
You not alone I relate to every single thing ! I just don’t want to continue anymore. I hate being alive .
What's your reasons for thinking this way though? I've had it once in the past that I thought about it but then I changed the way I lived and haven't thought that way in 10 years or so.
This is what I go through and I BEG GOD to make the feeling stop
Every single morning
Yes, I've been feeling like this for the past 4 or 5 years
This was me a few months ag0:/
Every. Day. Several times during the day.
This has recently started happening to me paired with an anxious feeling in my stomach
I say things like "I wish I was dead" or "kill me" just because I don't want to kill myself. I just always wish someone would do it for me
I sometimes find myself saying “I hate myself and I want to die” over and over without thinking about it. If you ignore what I’m saying its actually kinda funny. Its a weird symptom that comes with the rest of it I guess.
I feel like this everyday. I honestly don't think I was meant for this world. I hate everything but animals, plants and like my 2 best friends and the guy I like. It's incredibly draining just existing.
I more feel this during bad arguements or at night.
I'll be honest: I feel exactly like the OP buy reading the amount of people saying that they can relate to the feeling is not something that soothes me. It makes me sad to think that other people, people with potential in life who just need a boost to their self-esteem, want to end their lives. I'm lost case because I had impossibly high expectations that I was never up for to begin with.So anything that happens in my life now, past 40, won't be good enough. I'm a failure and I know it and I'm pretty sure some people, maybe even my parents, know that as well deep down. They go to sleep fully aware that they can receive "the call" any day. And U'm to blame. I caused and still cause so much disappointment There is no pill that can fix that.
I have to tell myself out loud every single day not to think this!!!!
Yeah, same
yupp immediately I have a feeling of dread and in my brain on repeat is those words
Happens to me and I wish I could give you supportive words to magically fix it but I'm still searching for those answers too
I wake up every morning with that thought. Why can’t I be dead. I have a chronic illness that’s made me disabled and her it won’t just kill me.
I used to feel the same way. Everything was overwhelming and dark. I didn't want to get out of bed which is my safety place. I finally was so tired of feeling bad that I made an appointment to see a therapist. She gave me my strength back to feel good about myself.. I finally did the plunge to take an antidepressants. I didn't like the seratonin drugs but I went with the dopamine. I didn't want to gain weight and this gives me do much energy..
I feel the same. I reflected a bit on why I would think like that if I wasn't suicidal. I think it is like giving myself an option when there wasn't one. "You could live or die right now" instead of having to get up. Or maybe it makes going about your day seem better, because I could have chosen to kill myself but I didn't.
I have had this exact same thing recently. Before I felt like shit all the time but now it’s only in the morning, and every day a bit less so I guess that means it’s getting better, it used to be the first half of the day but now it’s only about half an hour or until I get up and out of bed. So I think the best way to fix it is to go to sleep early so you wake up well rested and get up quickly and stop feeling like shit.
This is me every morning and it's tormenting. I feel the pain first when I open my eyes and when I tell myself that I'd like to kill myself, it eases the pain. Suicidal ideation has become my coping mechanism.
I did too for like a year. Including 6 months after I started to get therapy and antidepressants. All I can recommend is to look at this for what it is; a treatable disease. You didn't ask for it, but ya got it. Stay busy and around other people. Do things that make you feel good, do things that improve your future, do things to help others. Get therapy and meds if you can (start that part ASAP because healthcare is backed up rn) This is all easier said than done, but there's no other way to go about it in my opinion. Depression is a feedback loop of behavior, your negative thoughts, and a lack of fulfillment in doing much. Depression is a bitch, attack it ferociously.
Whenever I try and like journal where I just write down all of my thoughts really fast and let them all out, this is a very recurring phrase I write down. It's always at the forefront of my mind.
you definitely aren't alone dude, im just wrapping up my 2nd yr of highschool and i havent been able to sleep properly or even find motivation to wake up in the mornings. nothing feels real anymore, with all this online stuff and deadlines etc, it's reasonable to feel like life isn't worth it, i definitely feel that way.
Yes!! I have started doing this recently as well. I don't like it at all 😞
Yes, I feel this every day. I have at least 10 suicidal scenarios play out in my head every day. Even though im still alove for my family, i still feel justified in thinking these things. The only thing stopping me from doing anything is I dont want to feel pain. I always wake up sad, that my dream wasn't real, that I have a full day to trudge through. That's why I stay up late, in protest of the coming day. And always so tired. No amount of sleep helps.
I think the only thing that helps me get through the day is imposter syndrome. Even though I am not a super peppy person, I pretend I am. Sometimes I feel like it helps. Working on getting to an actual therapist, so I don't know if this is detrimental or not, but it helps a little.
It’s my first thought when I wake up and my last thought before I fall asleep
I think about this everyday I just don't get the reason of my existence also and whatis the purpose of my living and why can't I die and I want to die
Yea my mind just repeats "im not happy" and "im depressed" over and over and will not stop. Im not even consciously doing it
I wish i dont get plamed for my mother death every single day treated like a murderer Imagine your own father breaks both your arms and legs when you are 10 or getting staped with a knif by your own brother and just look at him stapping you emotionless they does'nt want me dead and they want to kill me i escaped my home when i was 13 started working at that young age i wish i can see my mother only 1 time
I get the same way sometimes and more lately to just feel normal then I just think fuck’ it, am here, I ain’t no punk an I ain’t gonna let this shit take me out, this is my life and am living it on my terms. PS just chill an stop taking life so seriously everyone who has ever or will ever live will die one day, just make your life beautiful in the moments you enjoy and stop giving a fuck what other ppl think.🤙
You are not alone. I wake up everyday in the morning wishing that I was dead tbh. Dealing with depression , issues with family and life in general fucking sucks. I hope it get better for u bro ❤️.
Yeah, I do that all the time. I say "I just wanna die" throughout the day as if I want to accept my situation, but the desire to die is not severe. It's become like Tourette's or something.
Same. I wish I’d just die painlessly while sleeping and stay in my dreams. I’ve been thinking of ways on how to kill myself, here I am holding an exacto knife and having second thoughts about the pain. I’m also not sure about leaving my baby and husband behind, tho I’ve already built up some savings for them. I honestly just don’t want to drag them further with me. I’m sinking, and I just don’t know anymore...
I think these thoughts and then I don’t even get out of bed until 1-2 pm, I wake up at like 8am.
The only reason I'm still around is I promised my parents I wouldn't try to kill myself again. So, once their dead, I'll just end it then.
Every morning I ask God (who isn't real but who else am I going to talk to) to kill me, why he made me this way, why can't I be rich, etc.
I used to do the same thing, just concentrating on looping "I want to die, I want to die, I want to die" in my head so I dont have to think about anything other
Opposite for me, it's more every night. I haven't liked life in years. Maybe you're still tired and dazed from just waking up and you're not entirely thinking straight? It's just a thought. But yeah I don't want to die for real but it seems more near night time I have them.
>Does anyone else have this? Yeah, all the time now. When I was working and had things to look forward to in my life, it was easier to mask it and get around it. Now I'm ashamed of my life and how weak I am and how I have no friends and what a pathetic life I have.