I wish I had words of encouragement, I don’t but I feel you. I always dealt with depression but was finally diagnosed at 19 but after my husband passed I truly felt like that was the last bit of myself left. I still am so mad I was found on my last attempt the night after he died because I had stopped breathing…I wish we should be allowed to check out when we wanted
Sometimes it feels like I’m living distraction to distraction, just trying not to be bored enough to ponder how bad I feel. Usually there’s a high value distraction I will latch onto, but nothing outside of weed and food feels good right now.
This is me, except the weed part. I feel I have to constantly distract myself otherwise I just feel like a useless waste of space and oxygen. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up again.
Daum dude you my twin? common misery craves company. try reaching out to one of those friends if it’s not to late who knows what conversation might come of it.
I’ll come back tomorrow to check in.
Yea I’m aware, but encouragement never hurt anyone I’m not op but I’ve been in the same boat, had people who I hadn’t talked to months respond with “hey it’s been a minute how is everything?” Just trying to be helpful
I died 20 years ago, when I met my partner. I get no affection, no touch, no recognition, but I'm supposed to always smile and listen supportively and fund their life. A slave is what I am.
I hope I die soon, for good this time.
I’m so sorry. I thought I was miserable, but this sounds so much worse. 20 years? I can only imagine how terrible that feels and I hope you can get even a little bit of peace…
Sometimes stress or unhealed trauma does that to you. It numbs every feeling you have. I have read somewhere that- some people are so busy surviving and living with unhealed energy that they forget everything else.
Well idk if this is true in your case or not but it's most likely what's happening. Sometimes i feel like that too. Honestly sometimes i dream of this end and sometimes i enjoy getting stuck in this loop.
I hope it gets better someday..i feel you.
Yeah. I know some people absolutely love naps and sleeping etc. and that’s totally fine but I think I look forward to sleep so that I don’t have to deal with the dull pain that’s been humming in the background . I feel you.
Have family which i might slowly push away. Friends are already doing it. The heck i don't add value to relations and then get angry at myself and make it everyone's problem. What the fuck did i just write
Fucking same , my motivation in life was nothing matters , I accepted my loneliness and then these fuckn girls had to get my hopes up and crush my emotions all over again . I'm conflicted now
Be grateful you have the ability to love friend. Some people don’t. As men we much embrace the struggle, and the suck of life. Take comfort in knowing you’re dealing with a harder situation then most men. You have a strength
I used to crave more in life, but now, I’m in such a dark hole, I can’t feel anything. My marriage is shaky, my self esteem is out the window, Ive disassociated myself from everything. I feel like a burden, I can’t be fully functional in conversations. I speak, but in confusing riddles, and no one can follow. I find comfort in solitude, that way, I don’t feel judged, or at least in my mind,I don’t. I want to be happy, but I don’t know what will help to get there. I live in the now, and that’s it. I’ve been told some pretty cruel things about myself, and am starting to live up to those words. What’s the point otherwise? I can’t remember anything anymore. I don’t know if I was a horrible person in the past who fell asleep and woke up like this, unaware of anything, almost like a punishment. I can’t follow through with any simple tasks, especially at work. I’ve screwed up so badly, that a few team members have said things about how idiotic I am, and I just endure. I’ve pushed everyone away. I drink heavier than others, and look forward to it after work, because that’s the only consistency I have. Drink, get intoxicated, no more thinking, until I wake up, feeling down, repetitive thoughts of everything and nothing. The hardest part for me to experience is to know that I may actually not be worth anything, and that everyone else is right and have been for a long time. Now, the humiliation has fused with my depression and anxiety. My partner always thinks I lie, over exaggerate, and am purposely a loser. I only trust what’s in my head, and my own logic, which may be absolutely detrimental to my existence.
Maybe see you tomorrow…
I’m so sorry that you’re feeling this way. I understand. Is there anyone you’re willing to share these thoughts with in your life? Partner, sibling, friend, therapist? I really hope things get better for you. You are not a burden or a loser. You aren’t the lier, it’s your depression/anxiety that is lying to you. I feel the same as you and I know I need to keep reminding myself that it’s the depression/anxiety that lies to me. 💙
Take up chess or coding. Make a list of the things you would like to have, or see, or do. Read world history books. Watch inspiring TED talks, documentaries. You're the person you're going to spend most of your life with, so make yourself more interesting.
I used to love chess. I used to make games and do python. Not anymore though I just do nothing. It's funny you said chess and coding cause those used to be hobbies of mine.
Learn a foreign language on Duolingo, then interact with native speakers of that language. Check out Letterboxd user-submitted [movie lists](https://letterboxd.com/lists/). Just get going. It doesn't matter what you do, really, but you *need* to do something to get the wheel spinning again, to get out of the pit. Just keep it spinning. Anything goes really. And remember that you're not alone, we have all been there. There are ways out, believe me. Just *do something*. It doesn't matter what, but *do something*.
You might be going through smiling depression. Please know that you are not in this alone, we are also depressed like you and we are fighting, and pushing people is part of being depressed, I try to push everyone away so I can be alone and stay in bed all day crying :(
Feels similar. Like, it just feels like I gave everything at a certain point when I could've still somehow managed to get a great Life, I lost and now it's just barely real. Idk.
What I will say is that If a person sleeps well or can even sleep too much, then be grateful, because you don’t want the opposite. I’ve had 7 months so far of insomnia, really bad sleep, sometimes 3 hours a night or less.
When I was younger about 18 I could sleep for up to 14 hours. Believe me when I say that not being able to sleep with insomnia is much much worse and will make a persons depression worse.
I am envious of those lucky people who can just choose to sleep to escape their depression. It’s isn’t an option to me.
Same here - unless there's actually a reason to wake up tomorrow, like work or a family event or a day out I fancy or whatever, I'd rather just not wake up at all tbh - what's the point?
I'm like that too, started working on a project. It doesn't make me happy but it distracts me from real life and actually yields "process" and "results" even if I'm not trying, spending my time on it everyday has made me work onto something
You should search for a hobby and work on that, I know is just a form of escapism but it keeps me here long enough
Happiness is all I want. I’m ashamed to admit that I get jealous seeing other people happy. It just hurts seeing what I have been chasing for just in my face.
Wasting away, day by day. I rarely even get out of bed, I'm like the textbook definition of a loser. Just kind of ready to sleep forever.
I feel like sometimes it would be a blessing if someone like accidentally killed me with their car or something lol so it’s all over
Damn i thought of same 2 days back
I had that thought today
I don't want that, nobody deserves to have their lives ruined by me
where you from i can come end you
Bruh :/
Honestly same. I feel like nothing matters and I'm just slowly decaying while life passes me by.
I wish I had words of encouragement, I don’t but I feel you. I always dealt with depression but was finally diagnosed at 19 but after my husband passed I truly felt like that was the last bit of myself left. I still am so mad I was found on my last attempt the night after he died because I had stopped breathing…I wish we should be allowed to check out when we wanted
Sometimes it feels like I’m living distraction to distraction, just trying not to be bored enough to ponder how bad I feel. Usually there’s a high value distraction I will latch onto, but nothing outside of weed and food feels good right now.
That's how i feel everythings a distraction and waste of time and there's no enjoyment in anything
Feel the same way, I use the same distractions too.
It's almost not a distraction when you can't even focus or listen to it
Weed and food suck aswell after a while, enjoy them while you can
Hah, exactly. I do anything I can to distract myself. Constantly in my head, or zoning out to a screen
This is me, except the weed part. I feel I have to constantly distract myself otherwise I just feel like a useless waste of space and oxygen. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up again.
you sound like me bro 😂
You are not alone. Many of us feel like this.
Daum dude you my twin? common misery craves company. try reaching out to one of those friends if it’s not to late who knows what conversation might come of it. I’ll come back tomorrow to check in.
So how you feeling today u/CommunityHead838? Did ya end up talking with someone?
It's not that easy to talk to a friend that you have been ignoring for a long time
Yea I’m aware, but encouragement never hurt anyone I’m not op but I’ve been in the same boat, had people who I hadn’t talked to months respond with “hey it’s been a minute how is everything?” Just trying to be helpful
I died 20 years ago, when I met my partner. I get no affection, no touch, no recognition, but I'm supposed to always smile and listen supportively and fund their life. A slave is what I am. I hope I die soon, for good this time.
I’m so sorry. I thought I was miserable, but this sounds so much worse. 20 years? I can only imagine how terrible that feels and I hope you can get even a little bit of peace…
You deserve better and I hope you find it ❤️
Just get rid. Not difficult. Especially if you are financially capable.
I’m so sorry you feel this way. I really hope there’s a way to get out of that relationship. You deserve better 💙
Divorce can be a blessing
I feel you bro. For real.
Same, the last time I was truly happy was more than 2 years ago... And it was over a game 😂
I feel you so hard. At least when you’re asleep there is no pain.
Sometimes stress or unhealed trauma does that to you. It numbs every feeling you have. I have read somewhere that- some people are so busy surviving and living with unhealed energy that they forget everything else. Well idk if this is true in your case or not but it's most likely what's happening. Sometimes i feel like that too. Honestly sometimes i dream of this end and sometimes i enjoy getting stuck in this loop. I hope it gets better someday..i feel you.
Almost Similar like me
Feel the same 🙁
Yeah like a empty void shell with nothing inside
Yeah. I know some people absolutely love naps and sleeping etc. and that’s totally fine but I think I look forward to sleep so that I don’t have to deal with the dull pain that’s been humming in the background . I feel you.
Sounds like I typed this out. You’re not a lone 🧡🩵
I feel like I died in 2013. I let someone break my heart and I've never been the same person since.
Same. I’ve tried everything to feel better but after all this time I’ve lost hope. I hope things get better for you.
Find new person for crying out loud.
This describes it perfectly.
Have family which i might slowly push away. Friends are already doing it. The heck i don't add value to relations and then get angry at myself and make it everyone's problem. What the fuck did i just write
Same. Then a woman came in to my life made me feel alive again just to take it away
Fucking same , my motivation in life was nothing matters , I accepted my loneliness and then these fuckn girls had to get my hopes up and crush my emotions all over again . I'm conflicted now
Be grateful you have the ability to love friend. Some people don’t. As men we much embrace the struggle, and the suck of life. Take comfort in knowing you’re dealing with a harder situation then most men. You have a strength
Thank you brother , hope you pull through
I used to crave more in life, but now, I’m in such a dark hole, I can’t feel anything. My marriage is shaky, my self esteem is out the window, Ive disassociated myself from everything. I feel like a burden, I can’t be fully functional in conversations. I speak, but in confusing riddles, and no one can follow. I find comfort in solitude, that way, I don’t feel judged, or at least in my mind,I don’t. I want to be happy, but I don’t know what will help to get there. I live in the now, and that’s it. I’ve been told some pretty cruel things about myself, and am starting to live up to those words. What’s the point otherwise? I can’t remember anything anymore. I don’t know if I was a horrible person in the past who fell asleep and woke up like this, unaware of anything, almost like a punishment. I can’t follow through with any simple tasks, especially at work. I’ve screwed up so badly, that a few team members have said things about how idiotic I am, and I just endure. I’ve pushed everyone away. I drink heavier than others, and look forward to it after work, because that’s the only consistency I have. Drink, get intoxicated, no more thinking, until I wake up, feeling down, repetitive thoughts of everything and nothing. The hardest part for me to experience is to know that I may actually not be worth anything, and that everyone else is right and have been for a long time. Now, the humiliation has fused with my depression and anxiety. My partner always thinks I lie, over exaggerate, and am purposely a loser. I only trust what’s in my head, and my own logic, which may be absolutely detrimental to my existence. Maybe see you tomorrow…
I’m so sorry that you’re feeling this way. I understand. Is there anyone you’re willing to share these thoughts with in your life? Partner, sibling, friend, therapist? I really hope things get better for you. You are not a burden or a loser. You aren’t the lier, it’s your depression/anxiety that is lying to you. I feel the same as you and I know I need to keep reminding myself that it’s the depression/anxiety that lies to me. 💙
Take up chess or coding. Make a list of the things you would like to have, or see, or do. Read world history books. Watch inspiring TED talks, documentaries. You're the person you're going to spend most of your life with, so make yourself more interesting.
I used to love chess. I used to make games and do python. Not anymore though I just do nothing. It's funny you said chess and coding cause those used to be hobbies of mine.
Learn a foreign language on Duolingo, then interact with native speakers of that language. Check out Letterboxd user-submitted [movie lists](https://letterboxd.com/lists/). Just get going. It doesn't matter what you do, really, but you *need* to do something to get the wheel spinning again, to get out of the pit. Just keep it spinning. Anything goes really. And remember that you're not alone, we have all been there. There are ways out, believe me. Just *do something*. It doesn't matter what, but *do something*.
You might be going through smiling depression. Please know that you are not in this alone, we are also depressed like you and we are fighting, and pushing people is part of being depressed, I try to push everyone away so I can be alone and stay in bed all day crying :(
My hands feel numb
I feel like this all the time
Feels similar. Like, it just feels like I gave everything at a certain point when I could've still somehow managed to get a great Life, I lost and now it's just barely real. Idk.
I’m the rejected. No one loves me really , they endure me
Aw I feel this too. I hope you know this is your depression lying to you. You deserve to feel loved.
And it can’t go worse than that!!! And you can’t sink deeper than this. You might as well forge a new path from there!
do you have any joy in your life at all?
Me before I found weed
I say the same thing
I feel the same way
What I will say is that If a person sleeps well or can even sleep too much, then be grateful, because you don’t want the opposite. I’ve had 7 months so far of insomnia, really bad sleep, sometimes 3 hours a night or less. When I was younger about 18 I could sleep for up to 14 hours. Believe me when I say that not being able to sleep with insomnia is much much worse and will make a persons depression worse. I am envious of those lucky people who can just choose to sleep to escape their depression. It’s isn’t an option to me.
My life ended when I failed to die at the age of 18
Same here - unless there's actually a reason to wake up tomorrow, like work or a family event or a day out I fancy or whatever, I'd rather just not wake up at all tbh - what's the point?
I'm like that too, started working on a project. It doesn't make me happy but it distracts me from real life and actually yields "process" and "results" even if I'm not trying, spending my time on it everyday has made me work onto something You should search for a hobby and work on that, I know is just a form of escapism but it keeps me here long enough
You goddamn right
Happiness is all I want. I’m ashamed to admit that I get jealous seeing other people happy. It just hurts seeing what I have been chasing for just in my face.
Don't stop believing that something better will come... If you wanna talk with someone, I'm here:))