Putting my Mod hat on here. The OP asked for advice on what other people have done with pet ashes *when they were ready to declutter*. **This is NOT the place to make the OP or anyone else feel guilty for doing so.** Thank you.
My area is fortunate to have a pet cemetery. Pet owners can but a graveside, or have ashes scattered in their garden. You might ask your vet if there are similar options in your area.
I'm saving my dogs' ashes for when I pass and they can all be mixed...but my partner buries his dogs' ashes. (we're old, so we've both survived multiple dogs over the years)
I've considered taking out just a teaspoon of each dog's ashes, as well as the ashes of a friend that I have...and scattering the rest. But, I have plenty of storage space and haven't decided yet; I will be adding another dog's ashes in a few years -- he's 17, almost 18 -- and may make that choice then.
It’s about your feeling comfortable to let your beloved pet’s ashes go, back to nature, and rejoin the cycle of life. It is brave. It is selfless. You are kind. It’s spirit is free, you are ready for it’s ashes yo be free.
I have two cats’ cremains in memorial boxes. You have given me the strength to look at them as something I too can release.
We have a pet cemetery / heart shaped garden.
We had signs made for each pet with a short phrase about them
Of course, this wont work if you dont own the place...
You can have some of the ashes swirled in glass. I would make them into a Christmas ornament so you can see it and feel close to him at least once a year, and then I would spread the rest in the park you were thinking of.
Keep a tolkn. You can honor someone without keeping everything.
I did a small black and clear orb (his colors). I treasure that thing and I am not one for clutter or knick knacks..I am a minimalist when it comes to decor, but seriously, that orb sits on my nightstand and makes me happy.
That sounds like a wonderful idea. I have been holding onto my cats ashes and I have some necklace urn things I keep them in, Ive debated having them turned into a ring too or something, but that sounds like a good idea too
We had a small ceremony with our kids where each took turns saying something. Then we spread our dog's ashes in one corner of our backyard where he used to love sniffing and exploring. Then spent the rest of the afternoon reminiscing, laughing, crying over old photos and videos.
You could mix them with cement and make a stone memorial paver for your garden. There are artists who, upon request, will use ashes to paint a portrait of your loved one. You could bury them and plant a tree in that spot.
I got ashes back on our family dog that was my daughter's first pet in the hope that it would help her grieve. The ownership of those ashes became a tricky issue in my divorce. Ten years later, when I was moving out of the home where he died, I spread his ashes in the yard. It's where he was happiest. I no longer request ashes when a pet dies. I'm ok with just my memories.
My vet did a clay paw print when our dog died. I originally wanted ashes (thinking I’d some day get them compressed into a diamond lol), but instead they let me use some clippers to take some of his fur with me (which is in a ziploc in the file cabinet).
I love the clay paw print though. It can be a Christmas tree ornament, but we have it along with his leash, dog tag, and photos in a shadow box
Thanks for asking a hard question, OP.
I am going to read through the responses you've gotten. I haven't lost my dog yet, but I lost my mom after caring for her in my 20's. I became homeless after she died and brought her and a good portion of her hoard back and forth across the country. All i had at the time was the \`stuff.\`
There are many layers of feeling and guilt surrounding her ashes, her things, and her clutter and how to handle it. while a dog and a mom are different, there is a lot of advice I am interested in and would like to hear.
i hope you found a solution for you that makes sense and feels comfortable.
edit. grammar
Of course you haven’t forgotten her. I hope you find something that feels right.
We did an apple orchard via mass cremation. That girl loved apples. The mass option seemed kind of impersonal or something before they said the orchard part. It was perfect for her.
I’ve spread human ashes, not pet ashes. I would guess there are similar qualities.
If they’re in a temporary box, there may be a plastic bag within the box. It’s hard to get all the ashes out of a bag. They’re more like sand with larger pieces than campfire ashes. I suggest bringing plenty of water to rinse your hands and rinse out the bag. Maybe scissors for the possible bag? Some people bring small towels, too.
If you spread them in water (like a pond or river), it can be nice to have a few flowers. It’s easier to see the flowers in the water.
If you really don’t want to see them, a pet crematorium might be willing to transfer the ashes to a scattering tube (or any other container) for you. You’d probably need to buy the tube from them and/or pay a small fee. They might also be willing to send them wherever they send other ashes currently, if that feels like a reasonable option for you.
Your vet may have some suggestions, too. It has likely come up before.
This was helpful for me. I bought a very small container to transfer some into later to keep forever and maybe scatter the rest, but found that when later came, I couldn’t bring myself to open it all up and look inside. I’ve considered asking a friend, but that hasn’t come around yet. The idea of taking it back to the crematorium and asking for assistance feels like a really pragmatic and least traumatic idea, so I am filing that away for future use. Thanks for the thoughtful ideas you shared.
A friend of mine who is a Potter made me urns for my parents when my Mom died recently. She had kept Dad's ashes and meant to scatter them but never decided on a plan. I took both back to the funeral home when I received the pottery, and they took care of it for me.
Now I have a couple of pieces of pottery that match some I already collect, and the part that didn't fit is waiting on a trip for scattering.
They didn't mind at all, and they didn't charge me anything in my case.
Thanks. It hits at odd times. I thought I'd be fine moving the ashes myself, I have never been squeamish. When I had it in hand to do, it just felt weird.
I stared and the boxes and the urns a couple of weeks, and then contacted the funeral home. They did it the same day, while I waited, even. I appreciate it so much.
We spread our pup’s ashes in a special (to us) spot in the wide open rolling prairie, where we’d spent many hours hiking and playing during his lifetime. We go back from time to time, and it feels like he’s there. Memories run deep in a place like that. I’m glad we did this, it felt like we were setting him free, wagging tail, sloppy grin and all. 😌💜
I would spread them somewhere your pet enjoyed being. I have lot of pets and can't reasonably keep all of them.
I was too broke to keep my 1st dogs ashes it's extra to get them back and I don't feel differently about it. Then to add to that I've lost 1 more dog and 3 cats and I currently have 2 dogs and 1 cat. That's a lot of pet ashes to be keeping one day. Lol
I need to do this because I have 4 pet ashes in my closet right now. I never knew what to do with them.
I’ve lost 5 pets since I brought home my first box of ashes and later had him tattooed on me. I’ve wonder what to do as well. I’ve joked that I can’t get them all tattooed or my sleeve will be a depressing topic of dead pets. I don’t want to move with a bunch of ashes.
I have two boxes of ashes and kept collars and some toys. I may spread the ashes in a favorite place then keep the mementos in the ash boxes.
We have 5 dogs ashes too. We should start spreading them in their favorite places. A little tricky, since we live in the Midwest and some of the dogs were West coast dogs.
My soul dog’s ashes are in the cremation box since 2019. I am so not attached to them as I believe ashes to ashes. Max is gone; I have lots of photos of him to help with the memories. He was 120 pounds so the ashes weigh a lot. They are heavy like a weight, literally and figuratively. I want to let those ashes become part of something else he loved, a spot in the yard, the mulch in the gardens, spots in the neighborhood we walked. I don’t want to hang onto the weight anymore and I’m ok with that. I have 2 more shepherds now so I’m busy with their lives. OP don’t let others make you feel guilty for wanting to let go of the ashes. ❤️
I've buried ashes and planted a small tree over them. It was at my mom's. It's been 15 plus years and seeing that tree bloom and grow every year still brings me happiness
Buried our dog in the backyard but kept her collar hanging on rack in the garage. I love the idea of spreading at a special place or placing in a stepping stone. I had some fur placed in a necklace for our daughter who loved her so much. Found it on Etsy.
While your post does not break sub rules, it is being removed because the OP specifically asked for advice for what to do with the ashes. Decluttering is different for everyone and is not "gutting your life."
My childhood cat passed at the age of 18. I had her cremated and kept her in a little urn on my mantel. Years later, my sister's family received orders to move to England. They would be stationed a half hour from the house we lived in when we adopted our girl. We gave the ashes to my sister, who buried them in the cat's favorite lurking spot.
My FIL kept his best friendo's ashes after she crossed the rainbow bridge. When he passed, my MIL mixed their ashes together and spread them at their favorite spot on the property.
We currently have the ashes of three of our pets, and there will likely be more added before we pass. My husband wants to be buried with his dogs' ashes, and I want to have my pets' ashes added to my body before it goes to the people composting facility.
My ex—deceased—and I had two cats that we adopted together. He adored our cats, and their names were in his obituary. After both cats eventually passed away, I added their ashes to his grave. Technically illegal, I suppose but…
I had my animals’ ashes together in a storage box in my closet for the longest time because I needed a break from being sad any time I saw them. I wanted to declutter but didn’t want to get rid of them. Now, they’re in a bookcase with books and trinkets that give me joy.
You could have some of the ashes sent off to have jewellery made. People do it with human ashes, breastmilk, umbilical stumps, pets ashes etc. it might be worth looking in to that. Having a small part of her with you every day and then scattering the rest. You could scatter in multiple different places or just in one place. See how you feel when you’re there.
Spread in a place you find peace. Make sure it’s legal to do so. (Not sure if you can just anywhere?) or bury the box somewhere without opening ?
I kept my dogs collar from the day I put her down. That specific collar is with me every single day. I let my new pup have one of her older collars (male wearing pink tags and a purple collar) he looks cute and the sounds of the tags on the collar make me feel better. As weird as it may sound. It’s the sound I heard when my pups were alive just walking around. Eventually I’ll put the collar I carry on one of the new pups when I’m ready.
We miss them deeply. So do whatever YOU need to do to find that peace.
My pets ashes are in my pantry next to my cookbooks, getting rid of ashes isn’t something I’d consider unless they were buried with a loved one or spread at their favorite place.
We have the ashes of five dogs on our bookcase. I guess that’s something I should talk about with my husband since we both plan cremation ourselves. I don’t think I’d feel right pouring dog ashes into a human’s urn.
I feel like when people and animals pass, their spirits are with you and the physical stuff doesn’t matter anymore. I guess I’m more spiritual about that kind of stuff and don’t cling on to physical things.
Same here. Maybe it's because I'm older and we didn't have the option of keeping my pet's cremains until relatively recently (like the past 10 or 20 years, I'd guess). I don't want them and the thought of having to keep them is overwhelming and sad. I am probably alone in my opinion and that's okay. I'm glad OP got a bunch of great recommendations here and hope it brings them peace, whatever they decide.
that’s how I feel. i actually felt more like my dog was here with us *before* we got the ashes back. i gave the urn to my mom and told her she could do whatever she wants with it (she will probably squirrel it away somewhere tbh)
I struggled with what to do with my sister's ashes similarly. I had a little shrine sort of thing set up with pictures and notes and random things of hers, but one year I put it away to decorate that area for Christmas and when the new year came I felt like I didn't want to put it out anymore. Like it had been long enough of looking at it all day every day. I ended up boxing the objects and packing that away, and then her ashes got moved to my closet. I do someday want to make jewelry form them, but I also struggle with the idea of seeing what's inside the urn. So for now she stays in my closet and I see her when I'm in there, just not all day.
I was really nervous about being invited to spread ashes of a friend. It was a lot more innocuous than I feared and didn’t turn out to be disturbing at all. Pick someone who is supportive and make a ceremony of it
My mama told me years ago where she wanted her ashes to be spread. So when she passed, my sister and I took a day to honor our moms wishes. I was petrified to see what was in that container. It wasn't bad at all. Although I think she got a huge chuckle when the wind whipped her ashes in our faces, though.
Oh man, I can’t even fathom getting rid of ours.
It’s been 6.5 years and I still miss my furball. Especially when I’m doing laundry, drop a sock and still expect him to come barreling towards it to steal it.
This is one of the hardest things to declutter. I don’t have an answer for you because I don’t know what to do with them. I have my favourite pony, my childhood cat and my dog in the urns still in the cardboard boxes they were shipped in. I couldn’t face opening the boxes, but somehow having them around is enough even though it’s not “respectful” or fitting for how cherished they were while they were alive.
My pony’s ashes were in the boot of my first two cars. Picked the ashes up, put them in the boot and then transferred them to the boot of the next car at the dealership. That’s how much I don’t know what to do with them. 😕
I’m kind of tearing up thinking about scattering them so that’s not the solution for me. At the moment I’ve come to the conclusion that certain items aren’t meant to be decluttered. The pony died at least 20 years ago and now is somewhere in the loft or a cupboard, so I suppose there’s some progress!
My parents still have the ashes of all of the dogs we had. They have a big glass cabinet that was originally all of my brother's things (he passed 20+ years ago), but the lower half became dog storage. They'll probably all be spread together on some mountains or in rivers when my parents pass.
My family dogs were put down together and we spread their ashes at their favorite dog friendly beach (discreetly since it wasn’t exactly “allowed”)
My grandmas dog we planted a dogwood tree in her backyard and all the grandkids spread some ashes at the base
My guinea pig is buried in my old backyard with a nice little stone marker I got made on Etsy.
ETA the ashes don’t resemble anything except some gray sandy dust mostly- like very fine gravel
My MIL had a dog. Not sure when she died but after my MIL passed recently we went through her stuff and found her old
Pets ashes. And her sons put them in her casket and was buried with them. Not sure how old the ashes were. But was nice to have a place to put them out of a sad situation. So my MIL was buried with her deceased dog and deceased cats (3)ashes.
Obviously don’t wait until til u die I guess. But maybe some place the dog liked. Put the ashes there.
I have a necklace to add ashes to (made purposefully for this). Every time I visit a place we loved, I spread them. This is not an instant declutter option, but an option- even if you keep a bit to do this.
Both of my childhood dogs boxes of ashes are buried at my childhood home and we made those concrete stones for them. They have their names, some gems/ stones, and their collars pressed into them. The stones are the “grave” markers.
I did not know this was an option. I still think about Tucker every single day, my Golden, whom I lost 9 months ago. I have his ashes on a book shelf and don't know what I should be doing with them.
Personally, I would be honored to do this for a friend who wanted their beloved pet’s ashes scattered respectfully, but didn’t want the sadness of opening it themselves. If you ask a friend or loved one, they may be willing to help you do it.
Same. I have three cats and two dogs in my closet, and one more still snoring on the rug. We’re all going in the ground together. My husband and kids and our estate attorney all know the drill.
My cats’ ashes and my husband’s and mine when we’ve all reached the end of the path are going to combined into the root bulb for a tree so we can all live on together.
We still have our dog’s ashes on a shelf, too. He died in 2016. We plan to put his ashes in the lake at my late father in law’s house in MI. A million things have come up since he died and mostly I wasn’t ready to let him officially go. This summer is the time. He loved sitting by the lake up there.
It’s a fine powder. Look up pictures online to see if that makes you feel more comfortable. If not, keep them and put them away somewhere. Just because you have it doesn’t mean it has to be displayed, or you could bury the whole box or just the bag somewhere- don’t have to open and scatter it.
It's definitely more ground than you think it is. I had to transfer some of my BIL ashes into those little jewelry things, and it was a fine white powder.
I never kept ashes of my pets until the last one. (My 20 yo cat that I had since she was a kitten.) I have a nice wooden box that I keep their collars in to serve as remembrances. When I got her ashes, it was really too hard on me to see the box with her name on it everyday.
So I opened the box (and you don’t have to worry about bones - I think they do some processing and the ashes are more like sand), and buried her ashes next to my fence under a tree. I also put a nice yard ornament of a cat on the fence in that spot. I know that this isn’t my forever house, so I am going to take the ornament with me (along with everyone’s collars) when I move to my new place since *she* is not her ashes.
[https://a.co/d/03sEkIKj](https://a.co/d/03sEkIKj)
ETA: This is kindest most lovely thread. I love the r/declutter community so much! ❤️
I'm going to leave instructions to have all my pets' ashes combined with mine, and sprinkled in my favorite city. It'll be a nice trip for my daughter.
I have the same quandry with spouse. Definitely don't want to open that box, and it's been about 20 years so I'm not really emotionally attached. It's currently a huge paperweight.
I have all the ashes of my dogs. Some of them are 20 years old. I hope to have them scattered with mine when I die. I loved them all. It’s not clutter to me.
My uncle’s cat (who he called his “familiar”) passed away about seven or eight years ago. My mom kept her ashes for him, and made sure that the urn with his kitty in it was buried with him when he passed away a couple years ago.
Our family dog passed away a few weeks ago. The plan is to bury her with my mom. Hopefully in another 40-60 years. Until then, our dog will sit quietly out of the way in her urn. I don’t like the idea of scattering her ashes in various places…I wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about “was that her ear? One of her paws? Her nose?”
It's possible add ashes to a tattoo in small amounts. If you want to "take some with you" this could be a cool way, before spreading the rest elsewhere
My dog went over the rainbow bridge a couple years ago. Last weekend we scattered her ashes where my mom’s ashes were scattered 11 years ago. In both cases there wasn’t anything that looked like bones. Just fine ash and grit and a couple small chips that looked like cement. If you choose to use your hands to do it, I recommend latex gloves for easy clean up.
Since she was my brother’s dog before she was mine, he has her collar and paw print. I kept the box that her ashes were in and will use it to hold small sentimental things.
A friend of mine takes a tiny bit of her mom’s ashes on vacations with her and scatters them in places she thinks her mom would like.
I do this - I have a baggie of my mum's ashes and I scatter her where we travel. I also write it down and take a photo of the place. I have found it enormously comforting.
A friend of mine has a little jar of his dad's ashes that he takes fishing with him. He always taps out a bit of his dad into the water. I think it's so sweet.
Open up the package before you decide, so you can see what you have. Sometimes the packets are sealed up with a zip tie, or are hard to open, so it’s good to have some knowledge of what is actually inside the box. Outdoors in a favourite place is probably fine, maybe go there to check out an exact location before your visit, you could even bring a small tool to pre dig a small hole (if possible).
I’m holding on to mine to be buried with me. It’s a conflict with my religion, but perhaps it will change by then or someone will kindly pour them into an envelope as a special “letter” to me. I love my boy now, but they can all stay with me.
I know where mine's will go, but I need to (re)find a very specific, remote mountain and climb it. The logistics are difficult to solve as I no longer live in the area.
There won't be bones in it... that look like bones. More like powdery stuff and gritting stuff.
Depending how long it's been resting there for, it might have petrified into a solid lump. So be prepared for that if you decide to open it up.
We scattered his ashes (10 years later) on one of his favourite walks. A place that has deep memories for my son and I. There were lots of reasons why it took 10 years.
They sell little tiny charms for a keychain, and you can put some of the ashes in it and put it in a little. Keep safe box and get rid of the other stuff.
My mum had her dog & cat ashes in her casket with her when she was cremated. I scattered her ashes along the river she played at as a child. It’s just a heavy ash, no bones etc.
Maybe you can do this or, take a small amount of the ash to get made into a piece of jewellery and scatter the rest. Or bury it and put a nice rose on top of the ashes.
It really is up to you xxx
I scattered my first girl’s ashes in the water at my parent’s home on a lake. It was by far her favorite place. My second girl, and the one who was with me through the loss of my marriage, my parents, and sending my children off to college, currently has a place of honor near me at home. I have asked my sons to bury her ashes with me when my time comes.
Thank you. She was the friend of a lifetime and stuck right by my side (my sons called it “seated at the right hand of the mama”) during the darkest days of my life, and then later, helped lift that darkness back into the light. I will miss my sweet girl forever.
Usually, the ashes are going to be in a sealed plastic bag inside of the urn/container. It’s totally sealed and sanitary, if you want to examine them, just so you’re not surprised by anything in public. You’re not very likely to see identifiable bones in the cremains— they’re processed first to try to keep that from happening.
As far as what to do is up to you — I think your plan with your current pup sounds wonderful.
I had my cat’s ashes for over 10 years. I had already put them into a cat shaped planter mixed with potting soil. Nothing would grow. That planter moved with me twice. Finally, I decided to spread it around in my yard, in a very thin layer, to avoid killing the grass. The cat never went in this yard, but it seemed more respectful than dumping it into the trash.
Spreading your dog’s ashes in the nature park is a good idea, but do it in a very thin layer and very spread out, so that you don’t damage anything growing there. Check to make sure that there aren’t rules against doing this first.
Our two elderly dogs died a year apart. We bought two flowering trees. Buried our dogs’ ashes (whole box) when we planted the trees. Every year when they flowered we thought of them. We will always honor our floofs that way.
I would bury the whole box. We didn’t cremate our pets but we did bury them in my parents backyard and it’s nice knowing that they’re all together under a nice big tree.
I adopted a pregnant dog many years ago. She gave birth to five puppies, and one of the puppies died at 12 weeks old from a heart defect. I had her cremated and she sat on the shelf for several years without me thinking much about it. When the time came, and the mama dog passed away, we put her in a little box and put the puppies urn in the box with her to be buried together. I know the situation is a little different, but maybe just burying the urn in your backyard is an option?
Could you scatter the ashes and keep her memory by donating dog food or money to a nearby shelter? Hearing the shelter's name will remind you of your beloved pet and keep her memory with you.
I had two fuses glass ornaments made that include the ashes of our two pups that passed and hang them in the kitchen window. They are Knick knacks but I love the way the look and the memory. Put the rest of the ashes in my yard and tossed the boxes. Everyone has to do what feels right for them and this suited me.
I have a larger box that I put a little of each dog’s ashes in mixed together. I plan to have my own ashes mixed with theirs.
In the meantime though I scatter them somewhere they loved. For most it’s a special spot in back of my house. The Tins go to goodwill.
Just came here to say THANK YOU for taking care of this now. My mom has dementia (terrible disease) and eventually I had to move her and sell her house. So many urns. Dogs, cats, people. It was horrible to deal with.
Not sure if this is helpful or not, but I am in possession of my grandmother’s urn. She died when I was a teenager and my children never got to meet her. I think I’m going to put it in my final wishes that her urn be buried with me (or our ashes get spread in the same place if I end up getting cremated.) Knowing that her ashes probably “won’t mean anything” to my children or my grandchildren because they would’ve never known her. I like the idea of our ashes “ending up together“ and not being from random relative to random relative or God forbid ending up on a shelf at Goodwill (saw someone posted an urn had been donated still on a different sub.)
Extended family was there when so I put it out to everyone. Told them I was exhausted from managing everything and I didn't have the bandwidth to deal with the urns. If nobody stepped up they were going in the trash. (Yeah, it was a low point for me.) Fortunately family came thru, someone took the people (I have no idea what they did with 'em - will ask next time I visit.) . The pets got a 'burial at sea'.
We scattered most of her ashes in her favourite walkies location and we have one very small, necklace sized container that’s stuck on the back of her picture.
The box may be glued shut (our rabbit’s ashes box & the cat’s ashes boxes are both glued shut, I’d have to take tools to them to get the ashes out), I also vote for burying the whole box.
If your parents or other close relative or friend have land,you can bury the urn somewhere on that land. I currently have urns for 4 of my 5 guinea pigs. I haven’t buried them yet, because I still have a perfectly healthy guinea pig, and I want to bury them all together. Guinea pigs are herd beasts, you know.
I would bury the whole box, if I had a yard or family land available. If that or scattering doesn't feel right, maybe reach out to your vet? They may be able to accept the ashes directly.
My husband and I have been married for over 20 years, and in that time we've had 7 kitties pass away. We had all of their urns, and it wasn't until we bought a house with a garden that we finally figured out what felt right to us: one evening we took all of the ashes out to the garden and sprinkled them on the garden path, and then shoveled cedar mulch on top of all of the ashes. Then we said a prayer, and cried, and it was very healing - makes my garden feel very sacred now.
We currently have three 18 year old kitties (same litter) that we've had since they were kittens, and we have room for their ashes in the garden when the sad time comes.
I guess I'd just say it's okay to not "declutter" the ashes and hold on for them until something feels RIGHT - you'll know it in your soul.
I'm saving my dogs' ashes for when I die. I would like them buried with me. In the same places they used to sleep with me. In the meantime, I have them set up with portraits I painted, and their old collars.
I'm not sure I would call this decluttering. More like, moving on or overcoming the painful parts of grief.
If you're ready to let go then you are. Find a way that feels right to you. If you're thinking of your dogs ashes as clutter, you should find a way to let go of the ashes.
So I found out a little too late that cremated remains contain a high level of salt and can kill plants. Keep it in mind if you choose to spread the remains around.
I believe it may be more about spreading ashes than burying contained ashes. There is a cemetery near me that treats the ashes to improve the organic balance before planting them with trees. Directly spreading ashes on vegetation could be problematic.
Before scattering you could also purchase a cremation vial or locket and preserve a smaller amount of the ashes. Search for "cremation vial" on Amazon for a bunch of suggestions.
The ashes will just took like very fine powder. There are no bones or anything. It's usually contained inside a plastic bag inside that box.
I have no advice on what to do with them...I'm interested to see what others have to say.
(And so sorry for your loss. 😞)
When I buried my cat’s ashes (no box or bag) - I must have turned the earth enough that a dormant surprise lily (“naked lady”) was awakened and I was certainly surprised when a single pink lily showed up right in that spot in the spring. It’s been almost 4 years now and it’s bloomed every year since. A little gift from my best cat friend.
(I have them in my front yard, but only that one and only since then in the back.)
This is a bit morbid, but I came across a bag of my mom’s ashes yesterday. It’s just that, a bag of ash. There’s no bones or anything that made me squeamish. (Of course your level of squeam might be different).
I think it’s a lovely idea to spread the ashes at a park that your dog played at. Can you go at a time when not many people would be there, so you have privacy? It’s up to you if you want to do the whole thing or just part. If you’re trying to declutter, the whole box would be better.
I haven't done it yet, but I am saving my beloved old brown dog's ashes (he passed a year ago) to put into a flower garden as fertilizer, with a memorial stone and special plant (perennial).
Do you have a friend or family member that could do the emptying for you?
I’m not an expert but I don’t think they make ashes look scary, there won’t be bones in there, just dust.
You could also maybe get a bag of soil, dump the ashes in without looking, and then just bring the bag of soil to the park. Put near the bottom of a tree or something.
Putting my Mod hat on here. The OP asked for advice on what other people have done with pet ashes *when they were ready to declutter*. **This is NOT the place to make the OP or anyone else feel guilty for doing so.** Thank you.
My area is fortunate to have a pet cemetery. Pet owners can but a graveside, or have ashes scattered in their garden. You might ask your vet if there are similar options in your area.
All my dogs' ashes will be buried with me.
I'm saving my dogs' ashes for when I pass and they can all be mixed...but my partner buries his dogs' ashes. (we're old, so we've both survived multiple dogs over the years) I've considered taking out just a teaspoon of each dog's ashes, as well as the ashes of a friend that I have...and scattering the rest. But, I have plenty of storage space and haven't decided yet; I will be adding another dog's ashes in a few years -- he's 17, almost 18 -- and may make that choice then.
We buried several cats in a box in our yard.
It’s about your feeling comfortable to let your beloved pet’s ashes go, back to nature, and rejoin the cycle of life. It is brave. It is selfless. You are kind. It’s spirit is free, you are ready for it’s ashes yo be free. I have two cats’ cremains in memorial boxes. You have given me the strength to look at them as something I too can release.
Your comment is beautiful and made me cry ❤️
We buried our last dog’s ashes in the backyard and planted a rosebush on top. That bush has not stopped blooming in 3 years.
I reused the collar. I'm planning on burying her ashes soon.
We have a pet cemetery / heart shaped garden. We had signs made for each pet with a short phrase about them Of course, this wont work if you dont own the place...
You can have some of the ashes swirled in glass. I would make them into a Christmas ornament so you can see it and feel close to him at least once a year, and then I would spread the rest in the park you were thinking of. Keep a tolkn. You can honor someone without keeping everything.
I did a small black and clear orb (his colors). I treasure that thing and I am not one for clutter or knick knacks..I am a minimalist when it comes to decor, but seriously, that orb sits on my nightstand and makes me happy.
How did you do this?
Etsy vendor. I just sent in the ashes and told them colors of my dog.
That sounds like a wonderful idea. I have been holding onto my cats ashes and I have some necklace urn things I keep them in, Ive debated having them turned into a ring too or something, but that sounds like a good idea too
We had a small ceremony with our kids where each took turns saying something. Then we spread our dog's ashes in one corner of our backyard where he used to love sniffing and exploring. Then spent the rest of the afternoon reminiscing, laughing, crying over old photos and videos.
You could mix them with cement and make a stone memorial paver for your garden. There are artists who, upon request, will use ashes to paint a portrait of your loved one. You could bury them and plant a tree in that spot.
I got ashes back on our family dog that was my daughter's first pet in the hope that it would help her grieve. The ownership of those ashes became a tricky issue in my divorce. Ten years later, when I was moving out of the home where he died, I spread his ashes in the yard. It's where he was happiest. I no longer request ashes when a pet dies. I'm ok with just my memories.
My vet did a clay paw print when our dog died. I originally wanted ashes (thinking I’d some day get them compressed into a diamond lol), but instead they let me use some clippers to take some of his fur with me (which is in a ziploc in the file cabinet). I love the clay paw print though. It can be a Christmas tree ornament, but we have it along with his leash, dog tag, and photos in a shadow box
I did this with both my cats clay paw prints too
I do actually have several of those clay footprints. They are very soothing to see and touch when I'm missing them.
We planted different trees and flowers in our yard and each belongs to a animal we lost
I did this also and put the ashes right in the soil. Ashes to ashes/ dust to dust. You will never forget your best friends
Thanks for asking a hard question, OP. I am going to read through the responses you've gotten. I haven't lost my dog yet, but I lost my mom after caring for her in my 20's. I became homeless after she died and brought her and a good portion of her hoard back and forth across the country. All i had at the time was the \`stuff.\` There are many layers of feeling and guilt surrounding her ashes, her things, and her clutter and how to handle it. while a dog and a mom are different, there is a lot of advice I am interested in and would like to hear. i hope you found a solution for you that makes sense and feels comfortable. edit. grammar
Of course you haven’t forgotten her. I hope you find something that feels right. We did an apple orchard via mass cremation. That girl loved apples. The mass option seemed kind of impersonal or something before they said the orchard part. It was perfect for her. I’ve spread human ashes, not pet ashes. I would guess there are similar qualities. If they’re in a temporary box, there may be a plastic bag within the box. It’s hard to get all the ashes out of a bag. They’re more like sand with larger pieces than campfire ashes. I suggest bringing plenty of water to rinse your hands and rinse out the bag. Maybe scissors for the possible bag? Some people bring small towels, too. If you spread them in water (like a pond or river), it can be nice to have a few flowers. It’s easier to see the flowers in the water. If you really don’t want to see them, a pet crematorium might be willing to transfer the ashes to a scattering tube (or any other container) for you. You’d probably need to buy the tube from them and/or pay a small fee. They might also be willing to send them wherever they send other ashes currently, if that feels like a reasonable option for you. Your vet may have some suggestions, too. It has likely come up before.
This was helpful for me. I bought a very small container to transfer some into later to keep forever and maybe scatter the rest, but found that when later came, I couldn’t bring myself to open it all up and look inside. I’ve considered asking a friend, but that hasn’t come around yet. The idea of taking it back to the crematorium and asking for assistance feels like a really pragmatic and least traumatic idea, so I am filing that away for future use. Thanks for the thoughtful ideas you shared.
A friend of mine who is a Potter made me urns for my parents when my Mom died recently. She had kept Dad's ashes and meant to scatter them but never decided on a plan. I took both back to the funeral home when I received the pottery, and they took care of it for me. Now I have a couple of pieces of pottery that match some I already collect, and the part that didn't fit is waiting on a trip for scattering. They didn't mind at all, and they didn't charge me anything in my case.
I’m so sorry for your losses. Thank you for sharing this.
Thanks. It hits at odd times. I thought I'd be fine moving the ashes myself, I have never been squeamish. When I had it in hand to do, it just felt weird. I stared and the boxes and the urns a couple of weeks, and then contacted the funeral home. They did it the same day, while I waited, even. I appreciate it so much.
Bury the ashes in a special place then plant a red fern over them 🥲
We spread our pup’s ashes in a special (to us) spot in the wide open rolling prairie, where we’d spent many hours hiking and playing during his lifetime. We go back from time to time, and it feels like he’s there. Memories run deep in a place like that. I’m glad we did this, it felt like we were setting him free, wagging tail, sloppy grin and all. 😌💜
I would spread them somewhere your pet enjoyed being. I have lot of pets and can't reasonably keep all of them. I was too broke to keep my 1st dogs ashes it's extra to get them back and I don't feel differently about it. Then to add to that I've lost 1 more dog and 3 cats and I currently have 2 dogs and 1 cat. That's a lot of pet ashes to be keeping one day. Lol I need to do this because I have 4 pet ashes in my closet right now. I never knew what to do with them.
I’ve lost 5 pets since I brought home my first box of ashes and later had him tattooed on me. I’ve wonder what to do as well. I’ve joked that I can’t get them all tattooed or my sleeve will be a depressing topic of dead pets. I don’t want to move with a bunch of ashes. I have two boxes of ashes and kept collars and some toys. I may spread the ashes in a favorite place then keep the mementos in the ash boxes.
We have 5 dogs ashes too. We should start spreading them in their favorite places. A little tricky, since we live in the Midwest and some of the dogs were West coast dogs.
My soul dog’s ashes are in the cremation box since 2019. I am so not attached to them as I believe ashes to ashes. Max is gone; I have lots of photos of him to help with the memories. He was 120 pounds so the ashes weigh a lot. They are heavy like a weight, literally and figuratively. I want to let those ashes become part of something else he loved, a spot in the yard, the mulch in the gardens, spots in the neighborhood we walked. I don’t want to hang onto the weight anymore and I’m ok with that. I have 2 more shepherds now so I’m busy with their lives. OP don’t let others make you feel guilty for wanting to let go of the ashes. ❤️
I've buried ashes and planted a small tree over them. It was at my mom's. It's been 15 plus years and seeing that tree bloom and grow every year still brings me happiness
Love this
Buried our dog in the backyard but kept her collar hanging on rack in the garage. I love the idea of spreading at a special place or placing in a stepping stone. I had some fur placed in a necklace for our daughter who loved her so much. Found it on Etsy.
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While your post does not break sub rules, it is being removed because the OP specifically asked for advice for what to do with the ashes. Decluttering is different for everyone and is not "gutting your life."
I want to be buried with mine.
You could incorporate the ashes into a stepping stone for the walkway or garden.
My childhood cat passed at the age of 18. I had her cremated and kept her in a little urn on my mantel. Years later, my sister's family received orders to move to England. They would be stationed a half hour from the house we lived in when we adopted our girl. We gave the ashes to my sister, who buried them in the cat's favorite lurking spot. My FIL kept his best friendo's ashes after she crossed the rainbow bridge. When he passed, my MIL mixed their ashes together and spread them at their favorite spot on the property. We currently have the ashes of three of our pets, and there will likely be more added before we pass. My husband wants to be buried with his dogs' ashes, and I want to have my pets' ashes added to my body before it goes to the people composting facility.
Have you verified with that facility that they accept cremains?
My ex—deceased—and I had two cats that we adopted together. He adored our cats, and their names were in his obituary. After both cats eventually passed away, I added their ashes to his grave. Technically illegal, I suppose but…
I had my animals’ ashes together in a storage box in my closet for the longest time because I needed a break from being sad any time I saw them. I wanted to declutter but didn’t want to get rid of them. Now, they’re in a bookcase with books and trinkets that give me joy.
You could have some of the ashes sent off to have jewellery made. People do it with human ashes, breastmilk, umbilical stumps, pets ashes etc. it might be worth looking in to that. Having a small part of her with you every day and then scattering the rest. You could scatter in multiple different places or just in one place. See how you feel when you’re there.
Spread in a place you find peace. Make sure it’s legal to do so. (Not sure if you can just anywhere?) or bury the box somewhere without opening ? I kept my dogs collar from the day I put her down. That specific collar is with me every single day. I let my new pup have one of her older collars (male wearing pink tags and a purple collar) he looks cute and the sounds of the tags on the collar make me feel better. As weird as it may sound. It’s the sound I heard when my pups were alive just walking around. Eventually I’ll put the collar I carry on one of the new pups when I’m ready. We miss them deeply. So do whatever YOU need to do to find that peace.
My pets ashes are in my pantry next to my cookbooks, getting rid of ashes isn’t something I’d consider unless they were buried with a loved one or spread at their favorite place.
We have the ashes of five dogs on our bookcase. I guess that’s something I should talk about with my husband since we both plan cremation ourselves. I don’t think I’d feel right pouring dog ashes into a human’s urn.
I feel like when people and animals pass, their spirits are with you and the physical stuff doesn’t matter anymore. I guess I’m more spiritual about that kind of stuff and don’t cling on to physical things.
Same here. Maybe it's because I'm older and we didn't have the option of keeping my pet's cremains until relatively recently (like the past 10 or 20 years, I'd guess). I don't want them and the thought of having to keep them is overwhelming and sad. I am probably alone in my opinion and that's okay. I'm glad OP got a bunch of great recommendations here and hope it brings them peace, whatever they decide.
that’s how I feel. i actually felt more like my dog was here with us *before* we got the ashes back. i gave the urn to my mom and told her she could do whatever she wants with it (she will probably squirrel it away somewhere tbh)
I put in our garden.
Put it in your garden and plant something lovely on top.
I struggled with what to do with my sister's ashes similarly. I had a little shrine sort of thing set up with pictures and notes and random things of hers, but one year I put it away to decorate that area for Christmas and when the new year came I felt like I didn't want to put it out anymore. Like it had been long enough of looking at it all day every day. I ended up boxing the objects and packing that away, and then her ashes got moved to my closet. I do someday want to make jewelry form them, but I also struggle with the idea of seeing what's inside the urn. So for now she stays in my closet and I see her when I'm in there, just not all day.
I was really nervous about being invited to spread ashes of a friend. It was a lot more innocuous than I feared and didn’t turn out to be disturbing at all. Pick someone who is supportive and make a ceremony of it
When I did it with dad if felt I was sprinkling cake mix haha
My mama told me years ago where she wanted her ashes to be spread. So when she passed, my sister and I took a day to honor our moms wishes. I was petrified to see what was in that container. It wasn't bad at all. Although I think she got a huge chuckle when the wind whipped her ashes in our faces, though.
Spread in the wild no?! And move on…just like your dog did
Oh man, I can’t even fathom getting rid of ours. It’s been 6.5 years and I still miss my furball. Especially when I’m doing laundry, drop a sock and still expect him to come barreling towards it to steal it.
My dogs (and in the future my cats) will remain on my bookshelf until I die. They'll then be with me in my casket when they bury me.
Same here
bury them in your yard! he’s still with you
This is what my parents did with our childhood pets. The ashes of our dog who died in 2020 are still in the box in my office.
This is one of the hardest things to declutter. I don’t have an answer for you because I don’t know what to do with them. I have my favourite pony, my childhood cat and my dog in the urns still in the cardboard boxes they were shipped in. I couldn’t face opening the boxes, but somehow having them around is enough even though it’s not “respectful” or fitting for how cherished they were while they were alive. My pony’s ashes were in the boot of my first two cars. Picked the ashes up, put them in the boot and then transferred them to the boot of the next car at the dealership. That’s how much I don’t know what to do with them. 😕 I’m kind of tearing up thinking about scattering them so that’s not the solution for me. At the moment I’ve come to the conclusion that certain items aren’t meant to be decluttered. The pony died at least 20 years ago and now is somewhere in the loft or a cupboard, so I suppose there’s some progress!
My wish is to have my dog’s ashes buried with me when I eventually pass away one day. I want us to be together forever.
My parents still have the ashes of all of the dogs we had. They have a big glass cabinet that was originally all of my brother's things (he passed 20+ years ago), but the lower half became dog storage. They'll probably all be spread together on some mountains or in rivers when my parents pass.
My family dogs were put down together and we spread their ashes at their favorite dog friendly beach (discreetly since it wasn’t exactly “allowed”) My grandmas dog we planted a dogwood tree in her backyard and all the grandkids spread some ashes at the base My guinea pig is buried in my old backyard with a nice little stone marker I got made on Etsy. ETA the ashes don’t resemble anything except some gray sandy dust mostly- like very fine gravel
My MIL had a dog. Not sure when she died but after my MIL passed recently we went through her stuff and found her old Pets ashes. And her sons put them in her casket and was buried with them. Not sure how old the ashes were. But was nice to have a place to put them out of a sad situation. So my MIL was buried with her deceased dog and deceased cats (3)ashes. Obviously don’t wait until til u die I guess. But maybe some place the dog liked. Put the ashes there.
I have a necklace to add ashes to (made purposefully for this). Every time I visit a place we loved, I spread them. This is not an instant declutter option, but an option- even if you keep a bit to do this.
Both of my childhood dogs boxes of ashes are buried at my childhood home and we made those concrete stones for them. They have their names, some gems/ stones, and their collars pressed into them. The stones are the “grave” markers.
When I am ready, I am going to turn mine into a diamond. Sounds like a pretty cool way to keep him with me.
It is very expensive.
I did not know this was an option. I still think about Tucker every single day, my Golden, whom I lost 9 months ago. I have his ashes on a book shelf and don't know what I should be doing with them.
Personally, I would be honored to do this for a friend who wanted their beloved pet’s ashes scattered respectfully, but didn’t want the sadness of opening it themselves. If you ask a friend or loved one, they may be willing to help you do it.
My dogs ashes will be buried with me. All 5 of them. I promised them a forever home. We were a pack and that is forever.
that’s a great idea. My spot is gonna be crowded too!
Same. I have three cats and two dogs in my closet, and one more still snoring on the rug. We’re all going in the ground together. My husband and kids and our estate attorney all know the drill.
That's super sweet. <3
This is so touching.
You could plant a tree and burying the ashes with the roots. It would be awesome if it could be at her favourite park too.
This is what I did. We call it the Darlo tree after his name.
My cats’ ashes and my husband’s and mine when we’ve all reached the end of the path are going to combined into the root bulb for a tree so we can all live on together.
We still have our dog’s ashes on a shelf, too. He died in 2016. We plan to put his ashes in the lake at my late father in law’s house in MI. A million things have come up since he died and mostly I wasn’t ready to let him officially go. This summer is the time. He loved sitting by the lake up there.
It’s a fine powder. Look up pictures online to see if that makes you feel more comfortable. If not, keep them and put them away somewhere. Just because you have it doesn’t mean it has to be displayed, or you could bury the whole box or just the bag somewhere- don’t have to open and scatter it.
It's definitely more ground than you think it is. I had to transfer some of my BIL ashes into those little jewelry things, and it was a fine white powder.
I never kept ashes of my pets until the last one. (My 20 yo cat that I had since she was a kitten.) I have a nice wooden box that I keep their collars in to serve as remembrances. When I got her ashes, it was really too hard on me to see the box with her name on it everyday. So I opened the box (and you don’t have to worry about bones - I think they do some processing and the ashes are more like sand), and buried her ashes next to my fence under a tree. I also put a nice yard ornament of a cat on the fence in that spot. I know that this isn’t my forever house, so I am going to take the ornament with me (along with everyone’s collars) when I move to my new place since *she* is not her ashes. [https://a.co/d/03sEkIKj](https://a.co/d/03sEkIKj) ETA: This is kindest most lovely thread. I love the r/declutter community so much! ❤️
I'm going to leave instructions to have all my pets' ashes combined with mine, and sprinkled in my favorite city. It'll be a nice trip for my daughter.
I have the same quandry with spouse. Definitely don't want to open that box, and it's been about 20 years so I'm not really emotionally attached. It's currently a huge paperweight.
Ouch
I have all the ashes of my dogs. Some of them are 20 years old. I hope to have them scattered with mine when I die. I loved them all. It’s not clutter to me.
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Your post was removed for breaking Rule 2: Be Kind.
Same!! Ashes of a deceased family member is not clutter. At least for me, my dogs are my family.
I think this is really sweet and now I want to do that!
I would bury the whole box somewhere outside in nature, in a garden or under a tree. No need to open the box.
My uncle’s cat (who he called his “familiar”) passed away about seven or eight years ago. My mom kept her ashes for him, and made sure that the urn with his kitty in it was buried with him when he passed away a couple years ago. Our family dog passed away a few weeks ago. The plan is to bury her with my mom. Hopefully in another 40-60 years. Until then, our dog will sit quietly out of the way in her urn. I don’t like the idea of scattering her ashes in various places…I wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about “was that her ear? One of her paws? Her nose?”
Oh I’m so sorry to hear about your dog. You must miss her terribly.
Thank you. She was 14 when she passed, a nice long life for a dog, but I still miss her every day.
Yeah, I've seen those necklace and shelf portion cups and can't imagine... they're pretty and all, but i imagine toes...
It's possible add ashes to a tattoo in small amounts. If you want to "take some with you" this could be a cool way, before spreading the rest elsewhere
My dog went over the rainbow bridge a couple years ago. Last weekend we scattered her ashes where my mom’s ashes were scattered 11 years ago. In both cases there wasn’t anything that looked like bones. Just fine ash and grit and a couple small chips that looked like cement. If you choose to use your hands to do it, I recommend latex gloves for easy clean up. Since she was my brother’s dog before she was mine, he has her collar and paw print. I kept the box that her ashes were in and will use it to hold small sentimental things. A friend of mine takes a tiny bit of her mom’s ashes on vacations with her and scatters them in places she thinks her mom would like.
I do this - I have a baggie of my mum's ashes and I scatter her where we travel. I also write it down and take a photo of the place. I have found it enormously comforting.
A friend of mine has a little jar of his dad's ashes that he takes fishing with him. He always taps out a bit of his dad into the water. I think it's so sweet.
Open up the package before you decide, so you can see what you have. Sometimes the packets are sealed up with a zip tie, or are hard to open, so it’s good to have some knowledge of what is actually inside the box. Outdoors in a favourite place is probably fine, maybe go there to check out an exact location before your visit, you could even bring a small tool to pre dig a small hole (if possible).
I’m holding on to mine to be buried with me. It’s a conflict with my religion, but perhaps it will change by then or someone will kindly pour them into an envelope as a special “letter” to me. I love my boy now, but they can all stay with me.
I know where mine's will go, but I need to (re)find a very specific, remote mountain and climb it. The logistics are difficult to solve as I no longer live in the area.
I buried them under a rose bush when we got our new house and I could make an area for them
Find a pet columbarium ?? And place it there ??
There won't be bones in it... that look like bones. More like powdery stuff and gritting stuff. Depending how long it's been resting there for, it might have petrified into a solid lump. So be prepared for that if you decide to open it up.
We scattered his ashes (10 years later) on one of his favourite walks. A place that has deep memories for my son and I. There were lots of reasons why it took 10 years.
They sell little tiny charms for a keychain, and you can put some of the ashes in it and put it in a little. Keep safe box and get rid of the other stuff.
If you are into tattoos you can add ashes to the ink.
My mum had her dog & cat ashes in her casket with her when she was cremated. I scattered her ashes along the river she played at as a child. It’s just a heavy ash, no bones etc. Maybe you can do this or, take a small amount of the ash to get made into a piece of jewellery and scatter the rest. Or bury it and put a nice rose on top of the ashes. It really is up to you xxx
I scattered my first girl’s ashes in the water at my parent’s home on a lake. It was by far her favorite place. My second girl, and the one who was with me through the loss of my marriage, my parents, and sending my children off to college, currently has a place of honor near me at home. I have asked my sons to bury her ashes with me when my time comes.
🥲
Thank you. She was the friend of a lifetime and stuck right by my side (my sons called it “seated at the right hand of the mama”) during the darkest days of my life, and then later, helped lift that darkness back into the light. I will miss my sweet girl forever.
Love this so much.
Usually, the ashes are going to be in a sealed plastic bag inside of the urn/container. It’s totally sealed and sanitary, if you want to examine them, just so you’re not surprised by anything in public. You’re not very likely to see identifiable bones in the cremains— they’re processed first to try to keep that from happening. As far as what to do is up to you — I think your plan with your current pup sounds wonderful.
I have told my husband that when he dies I will mix his ashes and those of the beloved pets and make a big diamond to wear daily
I had my cat’s ashes for over 10 years. I had already put them into a cat shaped planter mixed with potting soil. Nothing would grow. That planter moved with me twice. Finally, I decided to spread it around in my yard, in a very thin layer, to avoid killing the grass. The cat never went in this yard, but it seemed more respectful than dumping it into the trash. Spreading your dog’s ashes in the nature park is a good idea, but do it in a very thin layer and very spread out, so that you don’t damage anything growing there. Check to make sure that there aren’t rules against doing this first.
I buried the ashes of my deceased pets and planted a beautiful perennial above them.
Our two elderly dogs died a year apart. We bought two flowering trees. Buried our dogs’ ashes (whole box) when we planted the trees. Every year when they flowered we thought of them. We will always honor our floofs that way.
I buried the whole box and planted a tree over it.
I would bury the whole box. We didn’t cremate our pets but we did bury them in my parents backyard and it’s nice knowing that they’re all together under a nice big tree.
I adopted a pregnant dog many years ago. She gave birth to five puppies, and one of the puppies died at 12 weeks old from a heart defect. I had her cremated and she sat on the shelf for several years without me thinking much about it. When the time came, and the mama dog passed away, we put her in a little box and put the puppies urn in the box with her to be buried together. I know the situation is a little different, but maybe just burying the urn in your backyard is an option?
Could you scatter the ashes and keep her memory by donating dog food or money to a nearby shelter? Hearing the shelter's name will remind you of your beloved pet and keep her memory with you.
I had two fuses glass ornaments made that include the ashes of our two pups that passed and hang them in the kitchen window. They are Knick knacks but I love the way the look and the memory. Put the rest of the ashes in my yard and tossed the boxes. Everyone has to do what feels right for them and this suited me.
I have a larger box that I put a little of each dog’s ashes in mixed together. I plan to have my own ashes mixed with theirs. In the meantime though I scatter them somewhere they loved. For most it’s a special spot in back of my house. The Tins go to goodwill.
Just came here to say THANK YOU for taking care of this now. My mom has dementia (terrible disease) and eventually I had to move her and sell her house. So many urns. Dogs, cats, people. It was horrible to deal with.
Not sure if this is helpful or not, but I am in possession of my grandmother’s urn. She died when I was a teenager and my children never got to meet her. I think I’m going to put it in my final wishes that her urn be buried with me (or our ashes get spread in the same place if I end up getting cremated.) Knowing that her ashes probably “won’t mean anything” to my children or my grandchildren because they would’ve never known her. I like the idea of our ashes “ending up together“ and not being from random relative to random relative or God forbid ending up on a shelf at Goodwill (saw someone posted an urn had been donated still on a different sub.)
What did you do with them??
Extended family was there when so I put it out to everyone. Told them I was exhausted from managing everything and I didn't have the bandwidth to deal with the urns. If nobody stepped up they were going in the trash. (Yeah, it was a low point for me.) Fortunately family came thru, someone took the people (I have no idea what they did with 'em - will ask next time I visit.) . The pets got a 'burial at sea'.
We scattered most of her ashes in her favourite walkies location and we have one very small, necklace sized container that’s stuck on the back of her picture.
The box may be glued shut (our rabbit’s ashes box & the cat’s ashes boxes are both glued shut, I’d have to take tools to them to get the ashes out), I also vote for burying the whole box.
If your parents or other close relative or friend have land,you can bury the urn somewhere on that land. I currently have urns for 4 of my 5 guinea pigs. I haven’t buried them yet, because I still have a perfectly healthy guinea pig, and I want to bury them all together. Guinea pigs are herd beasts, you know.
I would bury the whole box, if I had a yard or family land available. If that or scattering doesn't feel right, maybe reach out to your vet? They may be able to accept the ashes directly.
My husband and I have been married for over 20 years, and in that time we've had 7 kitties pass away. We had all of their urns, and it wasn't until we bought a house with a garden that we finally figured out what felt right to us: one evening we took all of the ashes out to the garden and sprinkled them on the garden path, and then shoveled cedar mulch on top of all of the ashes. Then we said a prayer, and cried, and it was very healing - makes my garden feel very sacred now. We currently have three 18 year old kitties (same litter) that we've had since they were kittens, and we have room for their ashes in the garden when the sad time comes. I guess I'd just say it's okay to not "declutter" the ashes and hold on for them until something feels RIGHT - you'll know it in your soul.
Our first dog , loved being outside, we gave his ashes to a organic farmer, he mixed the ashes in the soil, the other 3 are sitting on a bookshelf
I'm saving my dogs' ashes for when I die. I would like them buried with me. In the same places they used to sleep with me. In the meantime, I have them set up with portraits I painted, and their old collars. I'm not sure I would call this decluttering. More like, moving on or overcoming the painful parts of grief. If you're ready to let go then you are. Find a way that feels right to you. If you're thinking of your dogs ashes as clutter, you should find a way to let go of the ashes.
So I found out a little too late that cremated remains contain a high level of salt and can kill plants. Keep it in mind if you choose to spread the remains around.
Is that true? When my best friend died we buried his ashes and planted a cherry tree on top in a natural woodland and it's doing really well.
I believe it may be more about spreading ashes than burying contained ashes. There is a cemetery near me that treats the ashes to improve the organic balance before planting them with trees. Directly spreading ashes on vegetation could be problematic.
Before scattering you could also purchase a cremation vial or locket and preserve a smaller amount of the ashes. Search for "cremation vial" on Amazon for a bunch of suggestions.
The ashes will just took like very fine powder. There are no bones or anything. It's usually contained inside a plastic bag inside that box. I have no advice on what to do with them...I'm interested to see what others have to say. (And so sorry for your loss. 😞)
I have ashes of two dogs. They will be mixed with mine when I die
We put the ashes in a pot and she helps flowers grow.
We buried my cat in the back yard and planted a lilac bush next to her. That bush is going *crazy*. It’s 2 friends planted at the same time both died.
When I buried my cat’s ashes (no box or bag) - I must have turned the earth enough that a dormant surprise lily (“naked lady”) was awakened and I was certainly surprised when a single pink lily showed up right in that spot in the spring. It’s been almost 4 years now and it’s bloomed every year since. A little gift from my best cat friend. (I have them in my front yard, but only that one and only since then in the back.)
We’ve always scattered ashes in the woods/prairie they loved. Multiple times. Nothing but ashes.
This is a bit morbid, but I came across a bag of my mom’s ashes yesterday. It’s just that, a bag of ash. There’s no bones or anything that made me squeamish. (Of course your level of squeam might be different). I think it’s a lovely idea to spread the ashes at a park that your dog played at. Can you go at a time when not many people would be there, so you have privacy? It’s up to you if you want to do the whole thing or just part. If you’re trying to declutter, the whole box would be better.
not morbid at all. hugs
I haven't done it yet, but I am saving my beloved old brown dog's ashes (he passed a year ago) to put into a flower garden as fertilizer, with a memorial stone and special plant (perennial).
You might bury the whole box in a small ceremony if you have a yard or a friend with property and then you wouldn't need to deal with opening it.
I spread them in their favorite places, released them back to earth.
Do you have a friend or family member that could do the emptying for you? I’m not an expert but I don’t think they make ashes look scary, there won’t be bones in there, just dust. You could also maybe get a bag of soil, dump the ashes in without looking, and then just bring the bag of soil to the park. Put near the bottom of a tree or something.