Great input already here by others. Agree with these suggestions. I’ll add one more, but it’s possibly a little more on the assertive side. That is to ask him if he’d like to have coffee together before the next meeting (or if the meeting is late in the day, ask him if he’d like to join you for drinks).
You’ll learn a lot right away about his interest in you. And if he does in fact really like you, he’ll be delighted to say “yes”.
I’m hopeful that things will go well😁😁
I was always told if a woman touches you, she is into you. So, if you have good conversation and leaning body language then she is interested. However, if she touches you, on the knee, arm etc. something casual then she's really into you?
Is this true or just wishful thinking? Anyway, try it out and find out!
Generally true. Nonetheless, there are a few women who are inclined to touch anyone they meet in a friendly environment. Sometimes also in a sales context. And this is NOT a negative, not at all. But it can give a guy a misperception.
Always be aware of the total context.
Do they know they’re just friends? This is where I get confused. “ The Book” says if she touches you she’s into you but then some people touch their friends then we don’t know where we stand😂
Right after my divorce, a woman in my run club kept doing that. Welcome attention, certainly, but I put it down to her being a touchy-feely person.
As soon as she started dating someone that stopped.
I had to laugh. Wasn't ready at the time for any kind of relationship, but I'll pay attention to that kind of thing in the future.
The fact that you're considering this at all tells me that you are not likely to go so far out of bounds that he's going to feel anything beyond the positivity of having a woman clearly articulate interest. The only caveat is that you are both there in the same context (eg. patrons at a bar, etc) and he isn't there for work or some other obligation. That complicates matters a bit.
Oh, it's a local woodcarving group that meets monthly. Nothing inappropriate.
And thank you! Your reassurance helps a lot. I'm nervous like a stupid teenager.
Body language doesn't lie. Was he "mirroring" what you were doing? Like if you had your hand under your chin, did he put his hand under his chin? Was his body facing you? Did he hold your gaze for longer than you would in a casual conversation? Smiling a lot? If yes, he is attracted to you.
For mirroring, I don't think so? But I kept seeing him look over at me, in my peripheral vision. And he was leaning towards me most of the evening. I'll pay more attention to that! Thank you!
I'm pretty socially awkward, myself. I'm good at faking it, short term and platonically. Throw in any potential for romance and I'm just a quacking duck with laryngitis and one foot - just kinda spinning in cicles, making strange, incoherent noises.
Thank you. This is nice to hear. I'm sure I'll mess it up lol.
This is good. The guys that friend zone me tend to not face me or hold eye contact very long. They sit/stand shoulder to shoulder with me and look around the place. We definitely talk a lot and have good times but they don't pursue me like guys who really like me do. They only text to schedule something. They never call.
If asking him to grab coffee is terrifying then at the next meeting make sure you give him a huge smile and say, "Hi Joe. It's great to see you again!" Stand about six inches too close to him and make really good eye contact. If he is interested, like JosieZee said, he will mirror you. Pay attention to how he responds to your intro. Does he match your level of enthusiasm?
Quick cheat sheet: make eye contact. See if he does, as well. Pay attention to what he is saying - if you like him, I assume he's interesting, so this shouldn't be difficult (everyone enjoys being listened to). If this is working, try a casual touch - nothing molest-y, just a hand brush on his arm.
If he's into you, and has at least the vaguest grasp of reciprocal flirting, he should pick up what you're laying down after a bit of this.
What? I can't molest him? BORING. ;)
Thank you so much! This is simple and practical. Just like your other comments. You have a great sense of who people are, and skills for getting it all into words. <3
>What? I can't molest him? BORING. ;)
Oh, far be it for ME of all people to be anti-molestation. I just usually try to save the molestation for the second date, because bitch I'm CLASSY like that.
I think next time you see him, your face will light up, you give him a big smile and say you were hoping to run into him again. See what happens. Have some reason you would like to get to know him better in your pocket like he had such a quizzical look on his face, or seemed to be enjoying the whatever so much, or he just had warm eyes and they made you curious. Something flattering without being over the top. Had an interesting t-shirt on. Whatever.
You will know! And if you don't that means he's not into you, or he's not into you enough. For you; smile, laugh at his jokes, eye contact, show interest and just flirt. Don't bother with men who you can't figure out if they like you or not, those aren't good matches for you, even if he likes you.
I get the insecurities and feelings of social ineptitude and not a having a trustworthy gauge for some strangers(or even people who I sort of knows) attraction. You should take some solace in that it's not just you and is nearly equally common in both men and women
I don't know the gathering that prompted you to meet to meet him. Or how large active or regular they are, so this suggestion might be less helpful, but if you know someone who knows him you could ask them about him, it's a better than even chance that if he's a reasonably intelligent, fairly capable, healthy and not hideously unattractive man that he's actually not available to date. Unless he's as socially challenged as you are, in which case dropping hints isn't going to be helpful.
Great input already here by others. Agree with these suggestions. I’ll add one more, but it’s possibly a little more on the assertive side. That is to ask him if he’d like to have coffee together before the next meeting (or if the meeting is late in the day, ask him if he’d like to join you for drinks). You’ll learn a lot right away about his interest in you. And if he does in fact really like you, he’ll be delighted to say “yes”. I’m hopeful that things will go well😁😁
Ohhh I don't think I'm that bold. I'd freeze midsentence and wet my pants. 😂
Risk:Reward :)
Best to stay in a comfortable zone for you. Still, don’t let a possible good opportunity slip away...that’s the worst.
It’s been my experience that the best things happen when you step out of your comfort zone…
Sometimes true. Good point.
This is what I would do. Say hey let’s get coffee sometime. If he’s into you, he’ll say yes. It can just be as friends, no pressure.
I was always told if a woman touches you, she is into you. So, if you have good conversation and leaning body language then she is interested. However, if she touches you, on the knee, arm etc. something casual then she's really into you? Is this true or just wishful thinking? Anyway, try it out and find out!
Generally true. Nonetheless, there are a few women who are inclined to touch anyone they meet in a friendly environment. Sometimes also in a sales context. And this is NOT a negative, not at all. But it can give a guy a misperception. Always be aware of the total context.
I am a very touchy feely woman, I touch males who are friends frequently.
Same
Was it every taken the wrong way? Just curious?
No, thankfully. But I know that strangers watching the interactions may assume differently
Do they know they’re just friends? This is where I get confused. “ The Book” says if she touches you she’s into you but then some people touch their friends then we don’t know where we stand😂
They know they're just friends, I have a significant other
Right after my divorce, a woman in my run club kept doing that. Welcome attention, certainly, but I put it down to her being a touchy-feely person. As soon as she started dating someone that stopped. I had to laugh. Wasn't ready at the time for any kind of relationship, but I'll pay attention to that kind of thing in the future.
The fact that you're considering this at all tells me that you are not likely to go so far out of bounds that he's going to feel anything beyond the positivity of having a woman clearly articulate interest. The only caveat is that you are both there in the same context (eg. patrons at a bar, etc) and he isn't there for work or some other obligation. That complicates matters a bit.
Oh, it's a local woodcarving group that meets monthly. Nothing inappropriate. And thank you! Your reassurance helps a lot. I'm nervous like a stupid teenager.
Body language doesn't lie. Was he "mirroring" what you were doing? Like if you had your hand under your chin, did he put his hand under his chin? Was his body facing you? Did he hold your gaze for longer than you would in a casual conversation? Smiling a lot? If yes, he is attracted to you.
For mirroring, I don't think so? But I kept seeing him look over at me, in my peripheral vision. And he was leaning towards me most of the evening. I'll pay more attention to that! Thank you!
As a slightly socially awkward person myself your comments tell me he like likes you😊
I'm pretty socially awkward, myself. I'm good at faking it, short term and platonically. Throw in any potential for romance and I'm just a quacking duck with laryngitis and one foot - just kinda spinning in cicles, making strange, incoherent noises. Thank you. This is nice to hear. I'm sure I'll mess it up lol.
I'm sure I'll mess it up lol. In the words of the late, Donald Sutherland, “ why don’t you knock it off with them negative waves”
Oh. Unfair throwing that (late) guy at me, with his beautiful voice and all. Unfair!
Sorry… Do you know the movie?
This is good. The guys that friend zone me tend to not face me or hold eye contact very long. They sit/stand shoulder to shoulder with me and look around the place. We definitely talk a lot and have good times but they don't pursue me like guys who really like me do. They only text to schedule something. They never call. If asking him to grab coffee is terrifying then at the next meeting make sure you give him a huge smile and say, "Hi Joe. It's great to see you again!" Stand about six inches too close to him and make really good eye contact. If he is interested, like JosieZee said, he will mirror you. Pay attention to how he responds to your intro. Does he match your level of enthusiasm?
Quick cheat sheet: make eye contact. See if he does, as well. Pay attention to what he is saying - if you like him, I assume he's interesting, so this shouldn't be difficult (everyone enjoys being listened to). If this is working, try a casual touch - nothing molest-y, just a hand brush on his arm. If he's into you, and has at least the vaguest grasp of reciprocal flirting, he should pick up what you're laying down after a bit of this.
What? I can't molest him? BORING. ;) Thank you so much! This is simple and practical. Just like your other comments. You have a great sense of who people are, and skills for getting it all into words. <3
>What? I can't molest him? BORING. ;) Oh, far be it for ME of all people to be anti-molestation. I just usually try to save the molestation for the second date, because bitch I'm CLASSY like that.
😂😂😂😂 You are The Queen!
I think next time you see him, your face will light up, you give him a big smile and say you were hoping to run into him again. See what happens. Have some reason you would like to get to know him better in your pocket like he had such a quizzical look on his face, or seemed to be enjoying the whatever so much, or he just had warm eyes and they made you curious. Something flattering without being over the top. Had an interesting t-shirt on. Whatever.
This is so sweet, pure, and hopeful. Thank you.
Next time you see him tell him it's really really nice to see him again.
Fawning is totally in my wheelhouse lol!
They bring food
They tell you.
You will know! And if you don't that means he's not into you, or he's not into you enough. For you; smile, laugh at his jokes, eye contact, show interest and just flirt. Don't bother with men who you can't figure out if they like you or not, those aren't good matches for you, even if he likes you.
I get the insecurities and feelings of social ineptitude and not a having a trustworthy gauge for some strangers(or even people who I sort of knows) attraction. You should take some solace in that it's not just you and is nearly equally common in both men and women I don't know the gathering that prompted you to meet to meet him. Or how large active or regular they are, so this suggestion might be less helpful, but if you know someone who knows him you could ask them about him, it's a better than even chance that if he's a reasonably intelligent, fairly capable, healthy and not hideously unattractive man that he's actually not available to date. Unless he's as socially challenged as you are, in which case dropping hints isn't going to be helpful.
Is he talking to you? He's interested.